about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

ok there was a case of breast cancer in my family & i was wondering if anyone knew the track of it. like her daughters didn't get it er anything but i was kind've worried myself. any ideas?

thanks!!

With a case in your family, there is a chance that you may get breast cancer. I'm not sure of the exact percentage offhand. I would suggest making sure to do a breast self-exam every month. If you feel any lumps, I would suggest seeing a doctor.

If you're unsure how to do one, you can find instructions at the link below. You can also explore the site for more information.

http://www.breastcancer.org/dia_detec_exam_idx.html

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okay so guys are like.. weird.. all of them like want sex from me and i dont want to be like no go away.. but i also wont have sex with them.. whats something i can do to try and tell them i dont want to have sex.. im not mean or anything so please dont put anything mean to say! thanks a bunch!

Tell them no firmly. Eventually they'll realize that you're not going to do it. If they continue harassing you about it, I would consider talking to a trusted adult. Constant harassment after you've already given your answer of no is sexual harassment.

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ok so im 14.. and have been going out with this guy for 8 months on & off. i love this kid a lot but ever since highschool he's been really friendly with this other girl i know.. idk what to do bc if i say something about it he calls me a drama queen- if not i "dont care" supposidly im too whipped to break up with him & its true bc i know how miserable i am with out him.. but hes' always giving me this crap about how "im lucky to have him" ugh it pisses me off he's so full of himself.. but like he doesnt even know how lucky he is to be w/me- so i need help... do i break up with him? or do i stay with him & try to work things out

I'm sorry, but a guy telling me I'm lucky to have him would get kicked to the curb.

I would suggest telling him how your feel. He may call you a drama queen, but you need to get your feelings out. If he continues to be the same way, I would dump him. It sounds to me like he cares more about himself than you. You deserve better.

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tuesday i turn 15. and i have lived with my mom since i was born. her and my dad got a divorce when i was realy little. i go to my dads every other weekend. my dad hasnt really been the kind of dad he is suppost to be. but i still love him. Well my dad lives in newnan and i love it down there all my friends are there and i have so much fun down there. My mom lives 2 hours away in lawenceville and i hate it here. We moved here a couple months ago and i have been in this new high school for 1 month now. I have no friends, everyone is stuck up and annoying there. I want to move in with my dad. Not because i love him more, but because i like it better there. my mom is always complaining that we dont have any money and i spend too much. Well i love her verrrrry much but if i tell her i want to live with my dad, she will get very upset adn like cry and all. What are some good ways i can tell her without her getting so upset? any help is wanted.


I RATE HIGH!!!

I would explain to your mom how bad the new high school is. Make sure she knows that is the reason you want to move in with your dad. If you make it about school and friends, she won't be as likely to be hurt by thinking you're choosing your dad over her. Good luck.

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My ex boyfriend was cheating on me, so I kind of exposed the truth about him cheating on me to all my friends and now hes really mad at me. I feel bad that I dumped him and exposed his "secret" because the truth is, i still like him. But don't you think i have the right to be mad at him? Because he cheated on me, lied to me, called other girls behind my back, and blew me off in the hall last friday....

I'm so confused. Should I call him?

I think you did the right thing by telling people about his cheating. Maybe some girl will hear about him and know not to go out with him because you did tell. That will save her a world of heartache.

Stay strong. You dumped him for a very good reason. You deserve better than a guy that won't stay faithful to you.

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Does everyone eventually get breasts like their mothers? Like if your mom's breasts are short and pointy, yours will be short and pointy too?

Not necessarily. My mom is a C and I'm a DD. Generally you can look at all the female members in your family to get an idea of how you might turn out. For instance: both of my grandmothers as well as two aunts are large breasted so I took after them.

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I like to take loads of photos, mainly of the flowers and plants in the garden. My aim is to be able to sell some of my pics, for magazines etc. Is there any where I can look at questions and answers relating to photography and cameras? I cant seem to find any.

Thankyou

Mik.

This site has forums, articles, tutorials, tips and tricks, monthly contests, photo critiques, even camera reviews.
http://www.photographycorner.com/

You might also explore the photography section at about.com. There is a variety of articles on photography from choosing your camera to careers.
http://photography.about.com/

You can find a FAQ on digital photography at the link below.
http://www.cs.duke.edu/~parr/photography/faq.html#portraits

This site offers a place to ask questions of experts on photography. There is also a question archive so you can search to see if your question has already been answered. The second link of for questions on careers in photography.
http://www.allexperts.com/getExpert.asp?
Category=694
http://www.allexperts.com/getExpert.asp?Category=1489

You can find a good photography forum at the site below.
http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/

Good luck!

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ok im 16. i have been w/ my b/f for bout a year n a month. and i just found out im pregnant 6 weeks. i love him very much but my family really doesnt aprove of him or want him in my life! now that they know im pregnant they want to stop seein my b/f becuz they think he is not father figure becuz my b/f isnt really that good guy he drug deals and used to be in gang and used drugs but has sober for about 8 and a half months. i dont know what to do help do i stay with his family and him n leave mine his family loves me sooo much they were always there for me. help. i dont know what to do!!!! HELp
het back to me!

You have to do what's right for you and your child. Is your boyfriend ready to be a father? Will he be a good father? Is he willing to quit doing the things that may cause your baby harm?

If you answer those questions yes, I would suggest talking to your parents again. You need to let them know that whether they like him or not, he is the father of your child.

I would be careful about threatening to move out. Since you're only 16, they can make you come back if they choose to do so. Also if they want you at home, your boyfriend and his parents can get in trouble over you staying there.

I would suggest sitting down with your parents, your boyfriend, and his parents. Together, you should be able to work out a compromise. Let both sets of parents know that you appreciate their concern, but ultimately the choice is between you and your boyfriend. After all, the child is yours.

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Some of my friends and I are trying to start a field hockey club for young girls ages 6-11 to make a little extra money. However, I am having some problems. How can I get people to know about this and come? My town doesn't have a rec team for it only school teams (the school teams are for 6th grade and up so these girls won't be on them). Next problem is sticks. Should we buy sticks for the girls? Should we make them bring their own? Should we rent the school's sticks? How can we get the money if we were to buy/rent sticks? Would it be wrong to ask people to donate money when we would be making a profit? Lastly, how much should we charge the girls? We would supply balls, mouth guards, and snacks. Oh and we will ask for them to bring there own cleets (sp?) and sin guards. Thanks in advance.

Since the girls are in the 6-11 range, it's unlikely that they'll have much money. You might want to take that into consideration when charging a fee.

Generally club members will already be interested in field hockey and have their own equipment. It would be a nice gesture to have a few spares around in case someone is new to the sport or forgot their equipment at home.

If you plan on playing against other teams, perhaps you can approach some local businesses and ask them if they would consider sponsoring your team. If you put their business name on the team shirts, they're getting advertising. Other options include bake sales and car washes.

One thing you need to make sure to do is print up some forms stating that you are not responsible for any injuries. Have the girls and their parents sign this form and make it a rule that no one can play without the signed form. Otherwise if someone gets injured, YOU will be responsible for paying the medical bills.

To promote your club, I would put up posters at school and in sporting goods stores. Make sure to ask first so you don't get in trouble.

Good luck!

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My best friend is 13 and I'm almost 14. I got my period last november and she still hasnt gotten it.

So we were talking about it one nite because i got it that nite. So she was like damn it I want mine and I was like you shouldnt. Than she was like my mom told me that when your friends get their periods your more likely to get yours around that time too. I was like really thats weird.

Now is this a true statement or a wild guess I mean because to me it sounda a little out there.

Its a little weird so i didnt know where to put this question.

It is sometimes true that when women are around each other a lot that their periods come at around the same time. When I was in college, most of the girls on my floor in the dorm had periods around the same week.

However, your friend won't get her first period until her body is ready and reached that point in her hormonal growth.

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me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex last night but he pulled out. he had it all over the head of his penis and didnt wipe it off and stuck it back in.. im not on birth control i was wondering could i have got pregnant from this?

Any time you have unprotected sex, there is a chance of becoming pregnant, even if he doesn't ejaculate inside you. There is also a chance of an STD.

I would suggest waiting until your period is supposed to come before you panic. If you have symptoms of pregnancy or an STD, I suggest you immediately see a doctor to be checked.

In the future, I recommend you use a condom.

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I suspect my dad has bipolar disorder. Being around him, when he's going through his manic stages, is like being in a cult. He will tell people crazy things, apparantly from God. He told three different people that their child is not there's. He even told my brother that his uncle was his real father, yet my uncle denies it. My dad said he would not believe a paternity test. He tells me he knows the truth about all things and that one day he'll tell me. It's very scary sometimes.

I know he does drugs, because people have seen him do it. He will take speed while reading the bible, and go days without sleeping or eating. He smokes pot a lot because I can smell it. He's doing these drugs right in front of my mother, who has MS and is an involent. She can't speak or eat or move or even keep eye contact. My dad constantly takes care of her because he refuses to put her in a nursing home or let anyone else watch her. I think this is one of the reasons he's getting worse and worse. He's lost pretty much all contact with the outside world.

He will be fine one minute, then the next be completely irrational and snap at me and my 14 year old brother. My brother is becoming depressed because of how my dad treats him. He does not want to go to school or hang out with friends. All he wants to do is sleep or get out of the house. My dad sucked my brother into believing that if they prayed hard enough, it would cure my mother. I can only imagine how this made my brother feel when nothing happened.

I am worried about my dad, but I am also worried about my confused, messed up brother. My family constantly bad-mouths my dad, who bad-mouths them back. My brother feels like he has no one to turn to, and he doesn't know who to believe. I can tell my brother has been heavily brain-washed by my dad because when I try to talk some sense into him, he just spews out something my dad has said to him.

My dad thinks he's right about everything, and will not listen to anyone who tries to help him. Once he asked my cousin if the family is going to let him be crazy, so I think sometimes he does know that he has a problem. But he won't let anyone help him! I also think my brother needs to be moved to a better environment, but he isn't as strong as me as says he wouldn't leave dad.

I am 19 years old and searching for a full time job so I can get my own apartment. One of the reasons I did not go to college was because I didn't want to leave my brother with my dad. I don't know what I can do for my brother since he does not want to move, and I'm too afraid that if I take legal action or speak up, my mom will be moved to a nursing home. My dad treats mom so well, it's just himself and everyone else that he needs to work on! I know how bad nursing homes are because my mother was in one for a few years and some of her things got stolen and she would get sick a lot because they didn't understand how to take care of her like my dad does.

I'm so torn and confused, I feel like there's no answer that wouldn't leave us in shambles, but if you have any advice, I would appreciate it!

I'm sorry your going through all this right now. My grandfather is also bipolar so I know how hard it is to deal with.

The important thing here is that your dad needs to get help. If you can while still being safe, talk to your dad about your concerns and see if he will seek help for his condition as well as his drug abuse. The drugs aren't helping his condition either.

If you can't talk to your dad safely or he still thinks he's fine, then it's time to see help. If your dad has siblings or parents that are living, I would talk to them. You may need to go over his head and petition the court for a competency hearing. If the court finds that he's incapable of making his own decisions, they will assign a guardian to him. The guardian can then place him in a facility where he can receive the help he needs. We had to do that with my grandfather.

It sounds to me, from my experience, that your dad is in a full manic swing right now. Placing him in a supervised facility will give him time to calm down as well as get used to the medications. Once he balances out, he can come home and continue on the medicine.

For your mother, I would consider making a visit to your local social services program. There are government assistance programs that may help pay for a nurse to come in for a while each day to help with your mother's needs. That will take some of the stress off of your family while still ensuring that she receives the care she needs at home.

For information and links to support groups, try the link below.
http://www.dbsalliance.org/

I know it's hard right now, but things will get better. If you ever need to talk to someone who has been there, feel free to email me. My prayers are with you. Good luck.

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ok well my friend said that i should wear a bra when i go to bed to prevent me from getting saggy boobs when im older is that the right thing to do?

Your breasts are going to sag when you get older whether you wear a bra to bed or not. It's a part of life.

Wearing a bra to bed is uncomfortable, which will interfere with your sleep. Are perky breasts worth the dark circles you'll have? Not to mention that it doesn't allow your body to "breathe."

To firm up the area and make them appear less saggy, you can do exercises that tone the muscle underneath your breasts. Push ups are a good example.

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i have really big hips well there not huge but thats where i seem to put on weight so how do i slim down healthly im not fat but i would love to loose a couple of pounds but without cutting out food cause i love food too much.lol

Since your hips are your main complaint, I would suggest exercises specifically for that area. Here are a few to get you started.

Seated Pillow Squeeze

Sit on a sturdy chair (one without wheels). Rest your feet on the floor with your knees bent at 90-degree angles. Place a pillow between your thighs. Exhale as you squeeze the pillow between your thighs, as if you were trying to squeeze the stuffing out of the pillow. Hold for 1 minute as you breathe normally. Release.

Seated Hand Push

Sit on a sturdy chair. Rest your feet on the floor with your knees bent at 90-degree angles. Place your palms on the outsides of your knees. While keeping your palms and arms stationary, push your knees outward against your palms, as if you were trying to push your palms away. At the same time, press inward with your hands, preventing your thighs from pushing them outward. Hold this isometric contraction for 1 minute, breathing normally. Release.

Seated Leg Raise

Sit on a sturdy chair. Rest your feet on the floor with your knees bent at 90-degree angles. Rest your hands on the chair at your sides. Exhale as you lift and extend your right leg. Hold for 30 seconds as you breathe normally. Then inhale as you lower your right leg and exhale as you repeat with your left leg. Hold for 30 seconds while breathing normally. Release.

Seated Bridge

Sit on the edge of a sturdy chair. Rest your feet on the floor with your knees bent at 90-degree angles. Rest your palms on the chair at your sides. Exhale as you lift your hips, allowing your palms and feet to support your body weight. Continue to lift your hips until your body resembles the shape of a bridge. Hold for 20 to 60 seconds while breathing normally. Release.

Single Leg Squat

Standing with your feet together and arms by your sides, shift your weight onto your right foot. Rest the toe of your left foot next to your right foot for balance. Keeping your back straight, bend at your hips and knees, and slowly sit back onto your right leg, raising your arms straight in front of you as you lower (hold onto the back of a chair for balance, if you need to). Stop when your thighs are almost parallel to the floor, and hold for a second. Then press into your right foot through the heel and stand back up.

Bent Knee Crossovers

Get down on all fours, keeping your back flat and head down in line with your back. With your left knee bent at a 90-degree angle, lift your left leg up and back so the sole of your left foot is facing the ceiling. Then cross it over the calf of your right leg. Keep your buttocks tight at all times. Return to the starting position. Do one set, then repeat with the other leg.

Standing Abduction

Hold onto a wall with your left hand for balance, and stand straight up with your knees slightly bent. Keeping your right leg extended (knee soft) and right foot flexed, lift the right leg out to the side. Lift as far as you can without moving your upper body. Pause for a second, then return to the starting position. Complete a set, then repeat with the opposite leg.

Double Leg Lift

Lie on your left side with your legs stacked on top of each other. Prop yourself up on your left elbow. Rest the fingertips of your right hand in front of you for balance. Raise your right leg about 12 inches, then slowly raise your left leg to meet it. Hold for 2 seconds, then lower each leg separately. Repeat.

Lunge

Standing with your feet together, hold dumbbells down at your sides with palms facing in toward your thighs. Take one big step forward with your right leg. Plant your right foot, then slowly lower your left knee toward the floor. Your right knee should be at a 90-degree angle, and your back straight. Press into your right foot, and push yourself back to the starting position. Repeat with your left leg.

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Okay, i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 months now. we had sex a few weeks ago, and we used a condom, and it had spermicidle. I usually start my period around the end of the month, and tomorrow is sept. 1. Since school just started, and i've been in a lot of fights with my parents, i'm hoping its just stress. and also, my period is never really ever the same, but th elast few times its been around the end of the month. I've been throught he symptoms, if you will, of pregnancy, and i hhave a few questions about those too. The breast tenderness? is that just like, all the time tenderness, or when you touch it? and also, the heavy discharge. i had that right after we had sex, like the next day, but i havn't had it since. I've always been a little moody and upsetable, so i dunno if that makes a difference. I'm going out of my mind, and i'm starting ot have dreams. could someone please help me! thank youso much, and sorry its so long. by the way, i'm 17.

As difficult as it is, you need to try to calm down. Stressing over the pregnancy will just keep your period from coming.

The breast tenderness varies with different women. When I was pregnant, my breasts felt fuller and were sore all the time.

The discharge was probably a combination of the spermicide from the condom and your own natural lubrication.

With the moodiness, again it varies by woman. Some women are fine; others cry through the entire pregnancy. I'm normally moody to start with, but it got severely worse when I was pregnant.

I would give it a couple week to see if your symptoms continue and whether your period comes. If it doesn't come by then and the symptoms continue, I would suggest buying a home pregnancy test or going to the health department or a Planned Parenthood office to be tested.

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what are some good ways for a thirteen year old to get money.

dont bother saying do chores around the house.my moms a bitch about that, it's like signing a deal with the devil

You could try babysitting or working as a mother's helper. If you don't mind cleaning, you could ask the neighbors (elderly or busy ones especially) if they would consider letting you clean their house for money. Other jobs include dog-walking, pet-sitting, helping carry groceries in, lawn work, or other maintenance jobs.

Good luck!

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I just went to an endicrenologist (sp?) and they took a bone age test to see how much longer I'm going to grow. I am very short (4.9) so thats why we did it. They said I was just about done growing. I am not elgible for hormone injections (they make you grow faster). I don't know what they mean about saying I have only a little bit more to grow. Does that mean on height? My boobs are still small and my hips have barely grown! What do they mean?

It's endocrinologist; they're basically a hormone specialist. They mean you're about done growing height-wise. Depending on your age, the rest of your body should continue to develop as you go through puberty.

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is it possible to get pregenant even though ur hymen isn't destroy can sperm still swim an reacj the eggcell?

does it bleeds when the penis enter gently into a intact hymen?

Ok for your first question. Yes it is possible to get pregnant even if you're a virgin. One, your hymen sometimes gets broken by a normal occurrence such as riding a bike or even falling the wrong way. Two, the hymen is permeable, which means things can go through it.

For your second question. Not all women bleed when their hymen is broke. It just depends on your body.

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ok well lately i have been trying to loose weight and i try to eat less. i exersice more than i used to. and ever since i have been eating less i have gotten less hungry at all meals and hours of the day. i dont know if thats a sign of anorexia but its sorta scaring me. my mom trys to help but i tell her i'm fine and i dont need anything. i am also getting sick more often..? my mom knows i'm going on a diet but every time she mentions it i tell her i'm not. everyones worried about me but i'm fine and i wanna loose the weight. what do i do?

♥much
WaY toO SelF cOnciOuS

I would suggest talking to your doctor to find out what a healthy weight range for you would be. If the doctor says that you are overweight, they can give you advice and suggestions on how to safely lose the weight.

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How can i lose weight but in a healthy way? and how can i also get toned? Please someone help me o and btw i'm a 17/F...please and thank you!

~Kiwi

Switch to drinking only water. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Try to avoid starches unless they're high in fiber(just check the label). If you eat meat, try to stick with the lean types-chicken, fish, and seafood. Try eating six small meals a day. It will keep you full and keep your blood sugar level so you don't get hungry. Use smaller plates; it will trick your mind into thinking you have more food than you really do. Avoid salt as it makes you retain water. Invest in a good quality multi-vitamin to make sure your body is getting all the vitamins and minerals it needs.

For exercise, try swimming, running, walking, bicycling, hiking (a great toner by the way) and crunches. Sports are also good toners.If you haven't been exercising, I would suggest working your way up so you don't wear out your body or injure yourself.

To lose one pound a week, you need to burn 500 calories a day. For two pounds a week, you need to burn 1000 calories a day. I wouldn't try for more than two pounds a week since it isn't healthy. There is a great calorie calculator at the link below. Use it to figure out how many calories you're burning a day. Make sure you add in sleeping since you do burn calories while you sleep.

http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.html

The link below will take you to a page with diet tips and exercises to tone specific areas.

http://www.freewebs.com/everythingteen/dietandexercise.htm

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