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I suspect my dad has bipolar disorder. Being around him, when he's going through his manic stages, is like being in a cult. He will tell people crazy things, apparantly from God. He told three different people that their child is not there's. He even told my brother that his uncle was his real father, yet my uncle denies it. My dad said he would not believe a paternity test. He tells me he knows the truth about all things and that one day he'll tell me. It's very scary sometimes.
I know he does drugs, because people have seen him do it. He will take speed while reading the bible, and go days without sleeping or eating. He smokes pot a lot because I can smell it. He's doing these drugs right in front of my mother, who has MS and is an involent. She can't speak or eat or move or even keep eye contact. My dad constantly takes care of her because he refuses to put her in a nursing home or let anyone else watch her. I think this is one of the reasons he's getting worse and worse. He's lost pretty much all contact with the outside world.
He will be fine one minute, then the next be completely irrational and snap at me and my 14 year old brother. My brother is becoming depressed because of how my dad treats him. He does not want to go to school or hang out with friends. All he wants to do is sleep or get out of the house. My dad sucked my brother into believing that if they prayed hard enough, it would cure my mother. I can only imagine how this made my brother feel when nothing happened.
I am worried about my dad, but I am also worried about my confused, messed up brother. My family constantly bad-mouths my dad, who bad-mouths them back. My brother feels like he has no one to turn to, and he doesn't know who to believe. I can tell my brother has been heavily brain-washed by my dad because when I try to talk some sense into him, he just spews out something my dad has said to him.
My dad thinks he's right about everything, and will not listen to anyone who tries to help him. Once he asked my cousin if the family is going to let him be crazy, so I think sometimes he does know that he has a problem. But he won't let anyone help him! I also think my brother needs to be moved to a better environment, but he isn't as strong as me as says he wouldn't leave dad.
I am 19 years old and searching for a full time job so I can get my own apartment. One of the reasons I did not go to college was because I didn't want to leave my brother with my dad. I don't know what I can do for my brother since he does not want to move, and I'm too afraid that if I take legal action or speak up, my mom will be moved to a nursing home. My dad treats mom so well, it's just himself and everyone else that he needs to work on! I know how bad nursing homes are because my mother was in one for a few years and some of her things got stolen and she would get sick a lot because they didn't understand how to take care of her like my dad does.
I'm so torn and confused, I feel like there's no answer that wouldn't leave us in shambles, but if you have any advice, I would appreciate it!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
First let me say I know some of what you're going through, as I went through some similar issues with my mother.
I would hesitate to to say that your father has Bipolar Disorder. Based on the symptoms you describe, this sounds much more like my mother's illness, schizophrenia. You can find information about the disease at
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
The drug use, especially if it's confined to smoking marijuana, is probably self-medication against the symptons of the disease. THP, the active chemical in pot that creates the "high" is a dopamine blocker, which could potentially block some of the more extreme symptoms of the disease.
Your mom and your brother need more stable caretakers. My own experience with schizophrenia is the its sufferers generally do cut off contact with the rest of the world, in part because they can no longer distinguish their dream world from reality, making it more difficult to function in the real world, and in part because reality intrudes upon the world going on in their heads. This eventually includes turning against friends and relatives, even to the point of imagining that the friends and relatives are somehow trying to harm the schizophrenic. They also tend to greatly distrust any medical professional, as it is the doctor who is going to most quickly realize what the real problem is.
So now for the advice:
1) You're going to have to first get outside the situation yourself. Find that job and get that apartment, or room with freinds. you'll not be able to get a clearer perspective on the situation until you do.
2) Work on your dad. Try, and without being obnoxious about it, to talk him into seeing a professional counselor (at minimum). You may try taking the tack that caring for your mom puts him under a great deal of stress and that it could only help him to talk about that stress with a trained professional.
3) Work on your brother. Try, again as unobtrusively as possible, to talk him into moving out as soon as is feasible. This may be a problem if he is underage, of course, but he may be willing to at least take a long weekend out and clear his head a bit to give himself a fresher perspective.
4) Talk to a counselor yourself. Living in that sort of environment isn't good for anyone, and having someone who understands how the mind works can give you someone to bounce things off of, and may also help you work out your own emotions on the issue.
I'm truly sorry that anyone has to go through what you're dealing with now. I also know that it can be overcome, because I did.
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I'm sorry your going through all this right now. My grandfather is also bipolar so I know how hard it is to deal with.
The important thing here is that your dad needs to get help. If you can while still being safe, talk to your dad about your concerns and see if he will seek help for his condition as well as his drug abuse. The drugs aren't helping his condition either.
If you can't talk to your dad safely or he still thinks he's fine, then it's time to see help. If your dad has siblings or parents that are living, I would talk to them. You may need to go over his head and petition the court for a competency hearing. If the court finds that he's incapable of making his own decisions, they will assign a guardian to him. The guardian can then place him in a facility where he can receive the help he needs. We had to do that with my grandfather.
It sounds to me, from my experience, that your dad is in a full manic swing right now. Placing him in a supervised facility will give him time to calm down as well as get used to the medications. Once he balances out, he can come home and continue on the medicine.
For your mother, I would consider making a visit to your local social services program. There are government assistance programs that may help pay for a nurse to come in for a while each day to help with your mother's needs. That will take some of the stress off of your family while still ensuring that she receives the care she needs at home.
For information and links to support groups, try the link below.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I know it's hard right now, but things will get better. If you ever need to talk to someone who has been there, feel free to email me. My prayers are with you. Good luck.
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i am soo sorry! i have a friend who has bipolar disorder and she can get very nasty at times. My advice is to bring your dad to a docter and get him checked out. If his condition is serious im sure they will take care of that. Make sure he takes his medicine and is keeping it up. All i can say to keep your head up... Is try and make the best of things... Help him in his hour of need.. and love unconditionally!
Hope I Helped!
Kailyn ♥♥
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Dear Asker, I can really help you here. My sister has Bipolar disorder. She is sometimes fine and working. But then, she becomes very nappy and mean. The only advice I can give you is to encourage your father into seeing a doctor. Everyone didn't believe that my sister had a disease for 21 years. She is now 22. When she was living in California seh got diagiosned with Bipolar. The doctors say she has had it for a very long time but no one noticed because they thought she was being a teenage brat. But the medication does help, although my sister never wants to take it, when she does it helps a load! So try to encourage your father to go to the doctors, if he is diagiosned just make sure he takes the medication and if he does I am sure your mother will be able to stay with your father. If your father isnt Bipolar but has some other type of disease...my best bet would be skitofrainia (not sure on the spelling). Theres a movie called "A Beautiful Mind" Starring Russell Crowe ...I would suggest you watch it to understand Bipolar and Skitofrania...its a sad movie, but it helped me understand what the disease is about. If you need any other advise..just ask me a question and I'll get back to you. I hope everything works out. Best wishes xOxO-->Alexxa [♥]
[PS] Your father is probably under a lot of stress helping your mother, stress can trigger bipolar. He could either be bipolar or skitsofranic stress triggers both. But if he dosent want to get better I suggest you call Crisis Services , they can you & your brother teach you how to cope, and handle the pressure, because it sounds as if you are in danger of becoming depressed also. Look in your phone book or call the operater for the phone number for Crisis Services..it may be called something else though. But it should be on the first page of your phone book. I really hoped I helped you in some way. I hope everything goes alright. Much love, xOxO-->Alexxa
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