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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i had sex the very first time, he pulled out before cumming, but we didnt use condom. it was 14th, n my period date is 18, but its 21 and it is still not happening??? are dere chances of getting pregnant

The pullout method of birth control is the least effective method of birth control there is. The main reason for this is that the male during intercourse emit a small amount of seminal fluid as a lubricant. He is not even aware that he is emitting this and with in it is semen; more than enough to impregnate a women.

Most women are most fertile during the middle w4 days of 21 day menstrual cycle, though not all women ovulate at the same time. So the answer to your question is that it is quite possible you are pregnant.

Most likely the stress of worrying over whether you are pregnant or not has thrown your cycle of. Your only 3 days late which is not a big deal especially if you area young teenager and have not been menstruating that long.

Best suggestion is to get a home pregnancy test and find out for sure if you are or are not pregnant.

If you are over the age of 14 and you are not pregnant you can make an appointment with your GYN and ask for birth control pill without parental consent and they will be prescribed for you.

There is a Federal Law called HIPPA that ha a specific section covering teenagers and their reproductive systems. That section of the law gives any teenage 14 years and over medical confidentiality over their reproductive systems. This law was specifically written by congress to insure young people proper medical care for their reproductive systems without worry of parental interference. You can by law make an appointment and see a doctor for anything concerning your reproductive system without parental consent.

You are also granted full medical confidentiality meaning the doctor or any staff member cannot release any information to anyone including your parents without your written consent. You mom cannot be in the exam room with you without your consent. This law was written so you can speak freely and openly with your doctor about anything that may be bothering you concerning your reproductive system. This allows the doctor to be able to properly treat you. As I said the also allows you to ask for and receive proper birth control as discussed with your doctor.

Hi :). I'm 13 and female. I love to act and sing; It's my passion. I realized I want to get into acting NOW, but... I'm not sure what to do first. I realize many kids want to act to just be on TV and want money, but I love to act. And those kids like to just jump in to acting and I know this will be a process and everything.

I'm just wondering... What should I do now? How do I start getting into acting? For some reason, I'd like to act in movies and TV shows and stuff. I love to act.

I wish I hadd agood answer for you. Unfortunatley this is the one are I have almost no knowledge of.

If I were you what I would do is start looking for thr people that could give me the both the answers and the help I need. In your case start with the drama teachr aat school and your guidence councelor so you can start taking the correct courses in school to get into schools for performing ars after H. S.

I would also search the web to find the talen agencies in Neww York and L.A. Write them a letter, no emails, with the same information you sent me. Hopefully thhey wwill respond with the proper information you need.

Good luck

My mom always went out and drank. And she has always had a boyfriend problem. Like she would go out with everyone just for sex or money. That was then. & she started back up again. She has been choosing her boyfriends over me and my brother. It doesnt matter to him though because he will move out soon. But what about me? What do I do? I'm sick and tired being alone..

You have two choices. You can if you wish call child protective services, you'll find the listing under state and local government, and tell them of what mom is doing and how you are being left to fend for yourself.

If you do not wish to do this yourself then I suggest you talk to a trusted teacher at school or your school principal. By law they must take the proper steps to protect you Which in this case is o call child protective services and make a report.

CPS has several actions they can take. They can monitor moms activities and make sure she is taking proper care of you. But if she is dating for money that could be considered prostitution and that is illegal. Then it becomes a police matter.

You will then have the option of living with your father if he is in the picture or another relative such as a grandparent, Aunt or Uncle. If your brother is old enough and deemed responsible they could also place you with him. Worst case scenario is you would be made a ward of the state and placed with a foster family.

Hi so I'm sick and I don't think my parents will let me stay home from school. How can I make them say I can stay? I really don't feel like going because I'm feeling TERRIBLE. I can barely get up to go to the bathroom! Please help!

Your parents are the ones that have the final say as to whether you are sick enough to stay home from school. Each of us as parents have our own set of criteria as to home sick you have to be before we will let you stay home.

My advice is not to argue with your mom about not going to school. IF you continue to feel sick or to feel worse ask to go to the health room. If the nurse or medical Technician feel you should not be in school they will call your parents to come pick you up. Depending on how sick they may feel you to be they can request a doctors note before you can return to school.

What should I do to turn my boyfriend on, and make him really horny?

Since you didn't supply your age answering this question is nearly impossible as the answer has everything to do with your age.

I'm going to guess that you're quite young, possible that you and your boyfriend are in the early stages of puberty. If I'm right you don't need a long winded answer from me or anyone else as nature will provide the answer as the hormones produced as you go through puberty will provide the answer.

18/f

My boyfriend and I are having problems. We've been together for over a year and I really care about him.
We've been getting in little arguments that escalate. But it's normally when something is upsetting me. Nothing really specific about him upsetting me, just like either family or something going wrong. But if I get emotional, he ignores me. Later I'll ask him why he does this, and then he gets defensive and throws it back on me. He usually says things like, I'm not perfect.
But this is happening for the past couple months. He hasn't always been like this.
I feel like if I try too hard, it'll push him away. I don't nag him or anything.

He is absolutely great when I'm in a good mood but if I'm not, he acts almost heartless. Last night I called him around 11 about something bothering me. He's normally really good at being there for me. He didn't answer so I sent him a text and he started texting in caps to let him sleep.

Maybe this is my fault? I'm really trying to figure out if this is me or if something is going on with him. He's so sweet if I'm in a normal mood.
Should I give him space? I've let him know that it hurts me but I get the same response.

It's not like I'm crying every day. I'm hardly ever upset but lately, if I ever am, this happens.

Is it anything I'm doing? Any advice would be appreciated.

The problem is him not you. You don't say how old he is though if you two are of the same ages or with in a year or two of the same age his response to your needing his love and support when you are feeling down or overwhelmed is something he has yet to learn.

There are guys his age that have the maturity to handle being loving and supporting when their significant other, as this is a problem that goes both ways, needs love and support.

The question is will he learn these skills as he continues to grow and mature in his relationship skills. For the answer to this question you need to look at his parents relationship. Do they display the loving support you are looking for from your boy friend.

Why look to his parents to find your answer? As children we all learn from our parents. Most boys will for the most part follow in their fathers foot steps when it comes to relationships. If his father is they type who is a hands off handle it yourself I can't be bothered; then the sons will most likely be the same way. Family culture plays a role in a boys development as well.

My wife worked with a women who's husbands father told him, "boy if you can't handle your women your not much of a man." This was told to him when she finally had enough and filed for divorce. The threats made against her by him and his family were enough to have me granted a carry permit for a gun to protect her.

So this is why I say look to his father and see what he is like and you will see what the future will be like with him. Part of any relationship is being supportive of each others needs. Some guys feel that being supportive of each others needs simply mean being supportive of the other person sexual needs.

Sex and sexual attraction are the smallest part of a relationship. At some point the sex becomes routine and you need more in order for the relationship to grow and mature. I have no idea if you and he are sexually active together but your relationship regardless of the sex is at the point where it needs to grow and mature into a relationship where you both are there for each other. He has not reached that point and many never will.

No matter how much you may feel you love him you need to take a serious look at this relationship and decide if you can live with the one sidedness of it. In other words it may be time to show him the door and find someone who will show you the love, support and respect you deserve.

im having urine tests and i masturbate alot... if the doctors check the urine can they find traces of sperm?

Everyone masturbates or at least 85% of us according to a recent survey. Any sperm that may not fully ejaculate will be expelled the first time you urinate after you have masturbated so there is almost a zero chance of any sperm being in your urine. Just to be safe don't masturbate just before going for your urine test.

As I said masturbation is normal and just for the sake of argument if they were to find some sperm in your urine the doctor would most likely not be concerned unless the problem they are checking for is in someway related to prostrate problems. But if this is a routine pee test for school athletics or a possible bladder infection the doctor would not be concerned.

You would be considered a normal teenage male and the doctor would not and cannot say anything to your parents as if you are over 14 years of age. Anything to do with your reproductive system is protected by law with full medical confidentiality. This is a Federal Law called HIPPA and there are Jail terms for any doctor who violates you medical confidence in this area. Only you can release information regarding medical issues with your reproductive system and this must be in writing to the doctor. You are in complete control and cannot be forced to undergo any procedures that are not life threatening.

So stop worrying and pee into the cup as directed.

recently i have notcied a lump in between my vagina and my back passage which is worrying me because my doctor can't even tell what it is and my health is deotriating i get everything going around and i am currently 15 yrs of age my mum will most likely get fined because i am off school so much because i cannot even sit down properly that is hwy i can't attend school can anyone help me i have looked through 4 sites bbc breathing space samaritins and nhs none give me any answers please reply is you know something.

There are two reasons I can't tell you what that lump is. First I am not a doctor, none of us are. Even if we were we would need to see it to examine it to make any type of diagnoses.

If you are seeing a family doctor I suggest seeing either a Gynecologist or if you have seen both of those doctors the a Proctologist might be the next best doctor to see. A Proctologist deals with problems of the Anal area and might have a better idea of what that lump is.

The fact that the lump is causing you problems in sitting tells me it has to be removed. So you might want to skip seeing any other doctors and go right to seeing a general surgeon. Most likely the general surgeon will order and MRI to see what that will show and possibly will also do biopsy. A biopsy does not mean the doctor thinks the lump is cancer. Biopsies are routine procedures to tell the surgeon what type of tissue the lump is made of so the surgeon can plan the type of surgery needed.

Once the MRI and the Biopsy are back it is possible the lump is just fibrous tissue that happens and the doctor can remove it with a simple office procedure under a local anesthetic.

Don't let the word Biopsy scare you. It is a routine procedure, diagnostic, used by surgeons to tell them what they need to know about whatever it is they are operating on. It has nothing to do with whether or not they think something is cancer or not. So don't start worrying until you have something to worry about.

My uneducated guess is you have some type of cyst. My wife had one when she was your age and had it removed. Hers was at the bottom of her spine and even though that surgery was 40 years ago the area of the incision is very sensitive as in ticklish. Of course when I want to be a royal pain in the ass, pun intended, I will tickle her there.

13/F

I'm Scared To Go To School. A Lot Of Things Happen There, And I'm Only In 7th Grade! Example: People Bring Drugs, Knives, Etc! The Other Day Someone Got Stabbed (That's What I Was Told) And Now I'm Scared To Go To School. I May Go To Homeschool In High School Throughout Then I May Go On An Online College.

But Anyways, I'm Scared. I Want To Move, But I Sort Of Want To Go To Home Schooling NOW. I Just Don't Know How To Tell Them In A Way So They Understand.

So What Do I Do? I'm Scared That Guy Will Go After Me Or Something. I Don't Really Want To Go To School Anymore :(.

I understand how you feel. As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather I am going to offer you some grandfatherly advice.

First you must tell you parents what is going on in school and that you feel unsafe. They then can have a meeting with the school administrators to see what can be done to make school a safer place for you and make you feel safer in school.

The world we live in can be a wonderful and exciting place full of adventure and discovery. It can also be a place where there is danger. Danger though does not lurk around every corner and is usually well defined to where it occurs.

I'm 66 years old and people have been bringing drugs to school since I went to High school. It is something the administrators strive to find and remove those students from school when they see it. Bringing weapons to school is something that is relatively new. If you see someone with a knife or other type of weapon report that student to the nearest teacher or if your school has one the police resource officer.

You are entitled to an education in a safe environment. It is unfortunate that things like this go on in school. The drugs are not a danger to you for no one is forcing you to buy them. Weapons are a problem;if you see one you report it to a teacher.

You cannot spend your life running and hiding from the dangers of the world. The dangers are out there. What you can do is make yourself aware of where those dangers are most prevalent and avoid those areas or those people.

While home schooling will remove you from the dangers you fear. It will also rob you of your rights to the social activities that are part of schooling and a part of learning how to make your way in the world as you grow in to adulthood. Running away from problems solves nothing.

By telling your parents what is happening in school they can talk with school administrators. If your school happens to be in a district where the disadvantaged make up a good portion of the students, which may and probably are the cause of your concern. A transfer to a school in a better area might be arranged.

So talk to your parents and let then know exactly how you feel. Let them talk to the school officials. Home schooling should be an action of last resort.

I have spent 2 valentines day without someone, the last time I had a boyfriend was 2011, he jilted me and it really hurt, since then I haven't had a serious relationship and that's what I am looking for.. Since 2011,I have been with about 4 guys not basically a relationship but a fling or I just decide to say yes out of pity and then break up... I haven't found what I want, someone who would fill that space my very ex boyfriend left, someone who I would love and who would love me back... I don't club, or party, my 2 close friends think my life is boring, they have boyfriends and they always spend the week or vals day with them I just feel so left out, my roomates also have boyfriends, I'm very pretty, 5'5 and slim but I don't know why I can't get someone within the age of 25 to date me... Please tell me what to do its been 2yrs

I have a tried and true method for making new friends and meeting new people. One of the biggest problem with meeting people is having something to communicate or talk about. Sex appeal only gets you so far. One day you wake up and you have to actually have to talk to each other and find out you have nothing in common.

Rather than rely on sex appeal alone to find someone we need to find a common interest. A common ground on which to build a friendship first and a love interest second.

Sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of all the things you like to do. They would include things such as movies, bowling, skating (both types) skiing, Hiking, camping, cooking, fishing, photography. Anything that you get personal enjoyment from.

Then look for clubs or outings that have or are geared to these activities. Visit these cubs to see if you wish to join or take part in some of these activities. By joining these clubs or taking part in these activities you should meet some guy with similar interest which gives you a common point of interest in which to have a conversation an get to know one another. You may also meet other women who may know of some guy who you may want to meet.

Most of all this is far better than the booty call at some local bar where all the guys are looking for are to get you to go home with them or them with you.

Give my way a try I think you will not only find guys to date but Mr right may just be waiting in the wings.

For a long time I haven't been able to feel anything meaning emotions . I really don't know what it is anymore I make myself think I feel emotions. But now I'm jst not happy at all anymore. I want to tell someone cause I can't even cry when i think of something sad. Maybe its cause my whole life I've been put down called fat ,stupid , & a lot more. I've had boyfriends but they never worked out. I'm just lost with everything at this point. I research about what I'm going though and anti-social personality disorder is the only thing that came up. I read about it & it kinda sounds like me. I've always felt like this but now its just getting worse. What I do.?

I'm not a doctor, none of us are so making any type of diagnoses is just not possible. What I will say is after reading what you have written it sounds more like you are suffering from depression then anti-social behavior. Some of the symptom of one manifest in the other.

You say, "I've been put down called fat ,stupid , & a lot more." I've been there suffered from it and have the mental scars to prove it. Being overweight is a symptom of depression more than anti-social behavior. We eat not because we are hungry, we eat just to feel good about something.

It took me a very long time to realize this about myself and some other things had to happen in my life before I woke up to the fact that I had a problem and that problem was severe depression.

What happened was I was nearly killed in a traffic accident. As part of the treatment for my injuries I was required to work with a psychologist who would help me deal with the chronic pain I will suffer with for the rest of my life and all the changes the accident will and has caused in my life.

In treatment with her she recognized my depression and had me see a psychiatrist for medication. I credit her with saving my life. I was dealing sort of with the depression in my own way. With the added stress of the accident and the pain I now live with; had she not diagnosed my depression I doubt I would be here to answer your question.

Depression is a horrible, horrible illness. Fact is you are not crazy you are medically ill as your body is not making enough of one or two hormones needed to help you deal with those things that keep you from getting truly depressed. A certain amount of depression for realistic reasons are normal. For what you may be suffering and from what I suffered it is not normal.

There are medications to help the body manufacture the proper amount of these hormones. Since these hormones are secreted into the brain a Board Certified psychiatrist is the best doctor to treat this illness along with a psychologist for talk therapy.

I could be 100% wrong in thinking you are suffering from depression though I don't think I am. Regardless; which ever illness you are suffering from you cannot get better on your own it takes professional help.

With the right help you will feel better about yourself. You will be able to diet and loose wait if that is what you want to do. But it starts with a trip to a Board Certified psychiatrist for evaluation and proper drug therapy. Then finding a therapist you are comfortable with. Someone that you can talk openly and freely with. Someone you can trust to tell you deepest darkest secrets knowing they will go no farther than the room you two are speaking in.

I am a 17 year old girl and have been dating my 18 year old boyfriend for the last two years. We have gone fairly slow and it took us a while to go to 3rd base (but we have done that). One of the main reasons that it took so long is that we don't have places to hook up. Whenever we have like a hookup sesh it will be at his house because his parents don't check in on us. However, my parents are very strict and rarely let me go to his house and whenever my boyfriend comes to mine we are in like the family room and my mom ends up watching like half the movie with us. It has become very frustrating that we haven't been able to move forward sexually for the sole reason that we don't have a place to hook up, and both of us want to lose our virginity before we go off to college in the fall. He loves me very much, but this is the Bain of our relationship. What are some places we could hook up? I'm not especially fond of hooking up in cars or blatantly lying about where I am to my parents (I'm kind of labeled as the "good girl") but I really do want to hook up. Should I just give up on the fact I don't like doing these two things?

First let me state that I am old enough to be your grandfather. My views on sex and teenagers can at times be very liberal. At the end of my writing is a URL that will take you to a Website I have found and recommended to many young women looking at having there first sexual experience.I suggest both you and your boyfriend read it together.

Your first sexual experience is very important. The boy you have that first intercourse with may not be the boy you marry, even so you can only experience something for the first time.

The fact that you are both virgins makes it even more important that you find a time and place that you can have the best possible experience. I would not suggest trying to have that first experience at his house when his parents are away as you will always be fearful they will return and catch you in the act.

This will cause you to rush through something that should be done in a loving and caring way without having to keep one eye on the clock and one ear listening for a car pulling into the driveway.

I would also not recommend having your first sexual relation in the back seat of a car. Back in my day many of lost are virginity that way at the drive-in movies. For the guy the act was accomplished for he got of. For the girl; yes she lost her virginity but I can't say it was anywhere near enjoyable for her. She was uncomfortable, then there was the fear of anyone passing by the car seeing us and of course first time sex for a girl is going to be painful. The awkwardness and fear factor of doing so in the backseat of a car can only have added to her discomfort and pain.

Let be honest here, a guy can get off almost anywhere at any time. There is a saying a guy can use a Knot hole in a piece of wood if he is that desperate. For a gal it is much more complicated. First she must feel loved, then she has to feel secure and safe in her surroundings. Most of all she needs to feel comfortable.

The only place that meets all these criteria is a motel. A nice clean motel like a motel six which is inexpensive. You pay cash when you check in, use the room for as long as you need to and leave. Nothing says you need to spend the entire night.

The motel supplies everything you need; a safe secure place where you won't be intruded upon. It is clean and comfortable and will provide you with the best possible environment for that first experience.

I would make only one suggestion should you choose to take my advice. Pick a motel far out of the town you live in so as not to have his car spotted by anyone who might recognize it.

The only other alternative is to wait one more year until you are 18 and legally responsible for your own life.

Note: You are old enough by a law called HIPPA which is a federal law, to ask your doctor for birth control. You do not need parental permission. This law gives you total medical control and confidentiality over your reproductive system and has been since you were 14.

You should be on birth control for one menstrual cycle before you have your first intercourse. Even so you boyfriend should also use a condom. Granted you are both virgins, though you should start your sex lives practicing safe sex. Never have sex with anyone who will not wear a condom regardless of the fact you are on birth control. While birth control pills are 99% effective in preventing pregnancy adding condoms adds an extra layer of protection. Plus as you may have more partners in the future the condoms are very effective at preventing the transmission of many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.

I hope your first time is all you exoect it to be.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

How do I get rid of the slag reputation?!

I had a boyfriend for 2 years when I was 14-16 and we were sexually active. When we broke up I started to have sex with one guy and then his friend found out in my school and I had sex with some of them too over the past 7 months. I have slept with 6 guys in total and I am 17 which to me isn't that many but in school I am seen as the "school slag" I hate it and cry about it all the time and always tell myself not to do things at parties! But every time I go and have a drink or want to have fun and the boys are there they make me feel guilty cos I'm a push over and I end up regretting it the next day! I hate this reputation and hate everyone looking at me in school! How can I just get rid of it and lives life and find a normal boyfriend who I can trust and be loyal too. X x x

I'm old enough to be your grandfather so let me offer you some grandfatherly advice. While it may sound as if I am lecturing you, I am not. I am going to try and point out what you are doing that is wrong that has lead you to where you are.

First of all changing ones reputation, especially in high school is among the hardest of things to do as high schools in general are really a closed society. The one thing that you can take comfort in is; at 17 you should be close to graduation. Once you graduate and move on to college you will probably see very little of these people in the future. This does not mean you have to remain the person you are today, you can start to change.

From what you have written the biggest reason you have picked up the reputation you have is your drinking. Alcohol is actually a depressant in that it depresses your inhibition allowing you to do things you might not ordinarily do. This is why you have slept with 7 boys which by the way is a lot for anyone let alone someone your age.

There is a reason alcohol is restricted to people over the age of 21. Frankly many people who are 21 are still not mature enough to handle alcohol responsibly.

As a fire fighter I can tell you that on Friday and Saturday nights when we are alerted to accidents any time after 1 am the accident is usually alcohol related and the drivers are 21 years of age or younger. Now you might think that since it is our job to rescue these victims or recover the bodies we would be jaded to this,we are not. Separating young people dead or alive from mangled steel hurts all of us for the kids we are trying to save could be any of our kids or are neighbors kids. Not only that but these accidents are totally preventable if the young people obeyed the law and drank responsibly.

You are to young to drink. No matter how old and how mature you think you are you are not mature enough to handle alcohol. This is why your inhibitions are lost and you become a push over. So the first thing you must do is stop drinking. Do not allow peer pressure to force you to drink.

I made a deal with my son when he was your age. If he ever found himself at a party where drinking was going on and if he did drink he was to call me, regardless of the time and I would come and get him. I would suggest you talk to your parents about a similar arrangement. I only had to pick him up one time and he was over 21 at that time. He and hia friends were celebrating his becoming a firefighter.

The reason I never had to pick him up from a party was we had another agreement. I knew the attraction alcohol has for teenagers so at home he was welcome to drink any of the alcohol, beer or wine we had in the house and not get in trouble. As long as he drank in front of me things were find. If he drank behind my back then I would be on him like a ton of bricks. Here again an agreement like this is something you might want to discuss with your parents.

As parents we know the attraction drugs and alcohol can have. We can talk to you about it. We can threaten you with the severest of consequences if we catch you and still most of you will defy us. We know this too.

We also know what happens when you so defy us. Since these things are depressants your inhibitions are down and you have sex. We worry about you getting pregnant. You worry about getting a reputation.

If you stop drinking and learn to say no and or walk away when offered. Your friends will still for a while tease you to try and get you to drink for they know if you drink you will drink to much and then they can have sex with you. When they realize they can not get you to drink they will also realize you are no longer the "school slag".

I've taken the long way to get to this point. Hopefully this lecture will help you in other ways. If you find you NEED alcohol then you have become an alcoholic and you need to join aa.

I need a very fast reply PLEASE guys !!! PLEASE!!
Woke up 4A.M in the morning before my school mid term exams that start at 8oclock ! I now have only 2hrs , I wasted the other 2hrs on my diarrhea in the toilet and I feel like I want to vomit but it won't go out !!! I tried sticking my finger down my throat and still it goes up then directly back down ! Mom said I should not vomit I probably caught a cold while sleeping and now I need to get it out from down there(my butt) not by puking ...
Please reply fast
Answers are VERY appreciated
(ALL answers top rating)

None of us are doctors so we cannot make a diagnoses. From what you have given as symptoms it sounds as if you have come down with some form of the flu. Even if you have had a flu shot the potential for you to get the flu is still there the flu shot hopefully just gives you a milder case.

You need to check in with your doctor for there are medications to relieve the symptoms. Other wise the only way to deal with the flu is to drink plenty of liquids and to stay in bed.

I realize the mid term exam is important though feeling as you so I doubt you would do would on it. I suggest you contact your instructor and explain how ill you are and see if a make up exam is possible. Given that the flu is almost epidemic in most states I would think any teacher would take this into consideration.

My dad cheated on my mom with two women and now he regrets it but he also wants my mom back when their divorce. my dad hurt us so much even when he was with us. I realize my dad use to be the best dad to me growing up but once I grew up more me and my dad dont get along my dad left me with an emty space inside of me I dont know what to do. I have anxiety problems and I have social issues negative thoughts with fear..help...

I'm not quite sure how to answer you as some of the dynamics of the situation you write about are missing. Your 17 which means you still live at home and if mom and dad were to get back together it would have some effect on you. You did not say how mom feels about she and your dad getting back together which is where the problem of offering you advice comes in.

Some generic advice would be: That this is really something that is between you mom and your dad. Yes whatever they decide does have an effect on you and I can understand why you are feeling hurt and how he may have hurt you before he left.

Your role at the moment though,since I assume you are living with your mother, is to tell her how you feel about them possibly getting back together. Just remember though this is her life. While I am sure she will take your feelings into consideration should she decide to take your father back, you have to accept her decision without aggression towards either of them.

Your 17 and legally you only have to live with the situation for a year before you can move out and live on your own. Before you do that and while you are still living at home I do have one suggestion for you.

You write,"I have anxiety problems and I have social issues negative thoughts with fear." This is not good and could even be considered harmful. You need the help of a qualified therapist, someone you can confide in who you can trust to keep your confidence and tell you deepest and darkest secrets to. A therapist who can then help you work through these problems to resolve them some the problems you wrote about go away.

I'm sure some but not all of the problems are related to your parents problems. By having a confident you can talk to you can resolve these problems in a healthy manner.

So, a few years back when I was pretty much still a dumb teenager, I experimented with another girl, but I was too scared to make anything out of it because all my friends were ganging up on us about it and every time we were finished doing something together, I would feel awful about it. We didn't have sex or anything, just touching and kissing. And I felt like I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't help it.

Well, just the other night, I had a dream about her after all this time where she was touching me and I remember feeling extremely happy during the dream, but I woke up and panicked because I haven't felt like doing anything with a girl since that time and now suddenly, I'm thinking about her a lot and noticing girls in that way. I also haven't spoken to this girl in a very long time. We had a really bad falling out that had a lot to do with what we did and hid from our friends.

What I'm wondering is if this makes me bisexual or what? I mean, we both have boyfriends. She's still on my Facebook and it says she's in a relationship with some guy. But I'm still not sure. It's stressing me out big time.

First of all relax. The dream you had is not your subconscious sending you a message. It is also not unusual to experiment with your sexuality when you are young. Both boys and girls ant some point during puberty will experiment with sex with another of their same sex. This is totally normal, it is part of exploring your sexuality.

Best their is nothing wrong with being gay or bi sexual. The thing is as far as being gay or lesbian this is not a choice you make for yourself. People whose sexuality are geared to gay and Lesbian were determined long before they were born, They could no more change their sexuality then you can change the color of your eyes. While some have tried to live the straight life they have ended up being miserable and eventually given in to their true sexuality.

No being bi is a choice and does not mean you are gay or lesbian or have latent tendency's towards them, It just means you enjoy both type of sex but are primarily heterosexual.

You don't say how old you are so it is hard to offer any type of advice. Instead of advice let me tell you a short story: In college I new a number of girls that one would swear were lesbians. IF you met them today you would never know that at one time their sex lives were almost entirely gay. Why was this. There were several reasons. First and foremost you cannot get pregnant from lesbian sex. You still get to relieve the sexual urges that add to the frustration of college life. It is definitely safer. Last but not least it was easier to find. Generally they shared their sex life with their roommate someone they most likely would not see again after college.

Now don't get me wrong not all girls practiced lesbian sex. Those that did, did so out of convenience and if the opportunity arouse to have sex with a guy some did.

If your still young and going through puberty don't get all stressed out over this or your dream. Your perfectly normal. Nothing says you have to act on your dream and what you and your girlfriend experimented with was also perfectly normal. Try making friends with her again as what happened between you is no reason to mess up a friendship.

So about a month ago my girlfriend admitted to me she might have made a huge mistake but didn't really recollect it. I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 months now and to be honest I'm beginning to fall madly in love with her. I found out that 3 months prior to me dating her ( keep in mind I was talking to her at the time and hooking up with her but we were not dating) she drank way too much alcohol and completely blacked out., woke up the next day in her own piss and puke and the last thing she remembered was being at a party (we attend the same college) and my roommate and friend were hitting on her hard. The next day she texted my "friend" what happened? He replied u got way too drunk we walked you home and you fell asleep. I immediately contacted the both of them to confront them what I've learned..trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. One denied anything happened including walking her home and the other didn’t pick up his phone.. So I realized someone's lying here. I called one of my other roommates up and he told me he meant to tell me about this months ago but couldn't. My one roommate who committed the act blacked out and admitted to my other roommate that this happened. My one roommate then told everyone we were friends with at school about what happened. So here everyone knew the whole time but no one had enough balls to tell me this happened (3 months they kept it from me) he told me that my other roommate who committed the act walked my drunk girlfriend to her room with my friend and she ripped her clothes off an one of them stuck they're penis in her mouth the other banged her in the bed. I told my girlfriend the bad news that I learned. Pissed off as all hell. She started to cry. She doesn't remember a thing besides walking with them and passing out and seeing them leave her room at her apartment. She didn’t say anything to me about it at the time because she wasn't sure herself it was like a blurry dream to her (which u could understand if you've ever been
blacked out on alcohol) she was balling her eyes out and admitted she had sex with my one "friend" in the threesome previously to this incident like a week or two before it but regrets that too she hated it and felt bad she did it to me behind my back...but lied to me when i first initially asked if she had sex with him.. she's always had alcohol problems. She'd black out all the time..one time I had sex with her for like an hour and she doesn't remember a thing. She's been in AA ten times.. Since this incident she quit drinking. Goes home on the weekend to work to pay for a car to use it to see me. She's doing a lot to prove to me she isn't a whore. She's changed. She didn't want that to happen to her. Etc..now the two kids involved with this are now telling my old roommates she wanted to do it etc. I don't know if they're lying and sayin that to clear their name ( they did lie to me when I asked if it even happened) or she really did ask to do it..regardless they are 24 and 22 years old and she's 19. You don't take advantage of a obviously hammered 19 year old like that especially when you consider me a "friend" and I was away that night for my cousins birthday. I'm obviously not friends with these scumbags anymore. But I'm having trouble getting over this incident that happened months before we were dating. It sucks. I feel betrayed by everyone, her, my friends everyone and I'm such a nice guy. She's doing a lot to prove to me she wants to make this up to me.I even questioned about having a MFF threesome with her to make up for it (which I don't know if that's a good idea) and she said no at first but gave into it because she doesn't want to lose me. She practically has no life now and works just for me to pay for her car by driving 2 hours to her hometown on the weekends to work. I don't know what to do. I see her side of the story but I don't want to be labeled a sucker by my friends for giving this "whore" to them a second chance. Even tho she isn't a whore. I feel betrayed by all of them as well. She lied to me and kept this from me so obviously I have trust issues now. And the worst part is I can't stop thinking about this. It kills me that I keep yelling at her for it bringing it up because I warned her something bad like this woulda happened if she didn't learn how to control her drinking. She has changed in front of my eyes so far and I'm proud of her (even losing 20 lbs) since this happened. She's turned her life around completely. I'm just having trouble getting over this especially when people keep reminding me of it..I feel like the world’s biggest sucker (everyone knew except for me) she didn't know either really but still she could have told me "maybe" it happened and that she had sex with my one friend a week prior to this incident.. I don't know what to do if I can't get over this I can't be with her I'm hoping time will help me heal and maybe even a threesome myself (even though hers was more of a rape..) I'm stuck in this dilemma on my last limb ..please help

First everyone has a past and sometimes that post is not something we are very proud of. Your girlfriend is very young and she for one part was taken advantage of for the other part she raped.

The law is very specific on this part: A person who is not capable of giving knowledgeable consent cannot legally consent to any thing including sex. Even if the way your buddy's are telling the story that she was the aggressor, which I highly doubt given drunk they say she was. At that point their responsibility was to see to her safety by putting her to bed and leaving. Instead they sodomized her (oral sex is sodomy) and raped her. Because of the way the story is being told she feel as she is the one who is wrong. This is not true she is a victim.

If you truly love this women then you need to help her. First you too must realize that she is a victim her and that your so called friends took advantage of her and raped her. I believe she realizes she has been raped and feels it is her fault mostly because she has no memory of the vent. If she can't remember the event then she could not consent. Without consent she has been raped. It matters not if she has had sex in the past with any of these boys.

For her to move forward and to properly deal with this she needs not only professional help, she needs to see that these boys are punished for what they did. This means filing a police report with either the campus police or the local police force.

As for professional help there is an organization that operates a 24 hour hot line. The organization is called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. The people who take the calls are trained to talk with her and help her through this. TO help her understand that she is a victim and to find people in the town where she lives that can give her the help and professional support to deal with this and properly put it behind her.

Most of all she will need your love and support. As I said we all have a past. If you have feeling for her don't hold her past against her. Remember she was or is young. Away from home possibly for the first time and lacked the maturity she needed to deal with certain situations. From what you have written she is changing and maturing. If you like who she is today that is what counts.

At the very least get her to file a police report and put her in contact with RAINN. There Number is 1-800-656-HOPE

how to get my husband back? he is having a relation with another lady and always angry with me.please help me.i am from india.

I am not familiar with the customs in India. Here in the USA a women would not put up with her husband having sex with another women. In fact that would be grounds for a divorce and the women would walk away taking everything but the shirt on his back.

I realize that the customs in India are a bit different than here in the USA but for the life of me I can not understand why you would want such a cheating bastard back. I also know that different parts of your country follow different customs. In certain areas of your country his adultery is not only a legal crime but a crime of your religion.

If his adultery is a crime of your religion I would go to your cleric and report both him and the women he is committing adultery with and let the culture of your community take care of this.

Should you live in the portion of the country that is more western in nature I would file for divorce. The bonds of matrimony are sacred and he has broken them. This sin is on him not you.

Forty-two years ago when my wife and I first married she told me she had no problem with me looking at the menu. Should I ever sample from the menu or attempt to reorder then she would cut off a very important part of me.

This has worked very well for us all these years. I can look and she even points out different items she thinks I would like to see. But the only time I have not slept in her bed is when I am away on a business trip and I am the only one in that bed. Of course at those times she is always with me in spirit.

In my mind regardless of cultures a wife is special and due the respect of the marriage vows. He has dishonored you by having sex with another women as well as endangered your health. My advice is never let him back in your home or your bed.

you said this

As for what she sees in the pool at school she see far more at a public pool. At school all the boys wear tank suits and the girls wear one piece suits. At public pools anything is allowed as long as it does not violate community standards for decency."

Tank suits? as in suits that cover up a boys whole body? In what universe is this? According to my daughter who I asked, all the boys wear trunks that expose their upper torso.

Sorry I miss typed and I should have explained the suits they wear are trunks but are long legged coming to mid thigh and are not from fitting like a speedo . Hence the name tank.

I still think you are being narcotic over nothing. Lot you daughter grow up in the real world

Okay so here's the deal. I am 18 years old and for about a month I have been having horrible right side abdomen pain and then it starting moving around my belly. Well Friday (it is now monday) I had pooped and I looked and it was covered in red blood. And the poop was really easy to come out (kind of mooshy) well I called my GI who I just seen the day before for the fist time about my stomach pain. And he said come in immediately. Well when I got there he done a rectal exam and said there is no active bleed down there and said it might be internal. He sent me for a CT scan and I don't know what he was looking for but they came in and said it was negative I could go home. Well when I got home I went to poop again and there was a little poop and more blood actually a lot of blood. More blood then poop. So I went to lay down because it made me dizzy then a couple hours later went and pooped again and this time it was just blood. Well ever dince then there is poop and blood still and I have diarrhea. I don't have a fever as I know of and I have nausea and the abdomen pain still but that seems to be getting worse. So if anyone has any advice or know what it could possibly be please let me know. I don't have a colonoscopy scheduled until the last of next month. I am still pooping blood but its not everytime now when I go poop. Please help me!

What your doctor was looking for in the CT scan was ulcer in your stomach which is one cause of red blood in your bowel movements.

Another cause for red blood is far more harmless but should be seen by a doctor. You could have what is called an internal fissure or internal hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are nothing more then veins that ring your anus. Some times these veins enlarge and become hemorrhoids. When the do they some times break when you have a bowl movement. Sometimes there is a little blood and some times you only see blood when you wipe yourself.

The more bowl movements you have in a day and the closer together they are them more chance a hemorrhoid will tear. When you have diarrhea the acid will cause the hemorrhoid to open.

Rarely is this a life threatening condition. You do need to see a doctor a Gastrointestinal Specialist although you family doctor should be able to diagnose a hemorrhoid condition then send you to a specialist.

Blood in the toilet looks like more than it is as the water in the toilet makes it look more. If you are worried then go to an ER or a walk in clinic if you can;t get an appointment with your family doctor for today or tomorrow.

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