about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

me and a long time friend just got back in contact and we've always been really close. we've never dated or anything like that.he the type of person you can talk to anything about. he dosen't judge you for you mistakes or anything he just got a divorce and he has a daughter(she's almost 3). he's a really sweet guy and i really care for him.can any give me some advice on what to do..please help!!

I think you should renew the friendship and see where it goes. It's obvious from what you've said that you really care for him and enjoy being with him. Just take things slow.

I'm not sure a romantic relationship would be right just yet. He's just coming out of a serious relationship. He may not be ready for another relationship yet. He'll need time for his emotions to heal and to get used to raising his daughter.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

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hello the issue is that i have a 1997 toyota corolla and it is having problem starting in the mornings it takes me almost lik e 20 min to start the car, i turn the key for ignition but all you hear isa a click but after like 20 or so minutes the cars actually starts,the battery is new so i know is not the battery, i am takking a wild guess and thinking is the starter that needes to be replace?is it easy to replace or should i pay 65 for the shop to replace it?well hopefully i can get theses solve.

My car did something similar when the starter went out. You can get the starter tested at a parts store. They just hook up a little machine to it (while still on your car I believe) and it will tell whether it's bad or not. I know Advanced Auto Parts does it if you have one of those in your area.

Depending on where the starter is and how mechanical you are, you can do it yourself. However if the starter is in an awkward spot to get to or you're unsure of what to do, it may be best to pay the shop to replace it.

Here's a link to an article on replacing the starter that might help you.
http://www.advanceautoparts.com/english/youcan/html/ccr/ccr20021001sr.html

If you do it yourself, there may be a way you can save a little money. Some places will rebuild the starter for less money than a brand new one costs.

Good luck. I hope you get your car fixed soon.

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a bit long i say ok well im 14/m and i have asked this question what do girls look for in guys well i looked at the answers and i was most of them but im not the brightest star in the sky so i have a two part question 1 why are girls so materalistic about guys appearance and 2 do most girls want all of the other things for the being cute part? well i need help so read it please i beg of you!

Not all girls are materialistic about a guy's appearance. A lot of it depends on the age group. In the teens, a lot of people are infatuated with having a good-looking girlfriend or boyfriend. As you get older with a little more experience, you'll realize that looks aren't everything. If it comes down to it, I'd rather be with a nice, funny guy than a shallow cute guy.

What always caught my attention was a guy that could make me laugh. Other good qualities are someone who knows how to listen, who is friendly, and who really cares about others.

Don't worry so much about looks. They tend to fade with age anyway. A caring, romantic, funny guy is hard to find.

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14/f so i've been with my boyfriend for half a year.. and umm we made out a little i guess... so we were lying on my bed...watching tv and whatnot. his hand was on my pants playing with the belt hoops and suddenly he put his hand down my pants slightly...then he went farther and i kinda jumped...and told him no so he was okay with it...soo its a couple of days later..and i'm hanging out with him... he has his arms around me from behind and then his hands drop around my stomach and lower..then he puts his hands on my legs and he moves his hands... brushing up against /there/ and then he suddenly moves his hands to my stomach again...then few minutes later he puts his hands against THERE again...and i kinda got stiff...and i told him not to do it again.. i dunno.... so im just confused. in my mind i wouldn't mind if he did it but my parents said that im too young to do anything below the neck so.. yea and thats stuck in my head so i'm just stuck in middle of wondering what to do.. so..

the next time he does that..what do I do? break up with him or seriously tell him 'NO'. yeah..

lately hes getting a little weird..or horny i guess? cuz when we hang out...he's always behind me pushing my ass into him and whatnot... or like..he pushed me up into a table and talked to people while he was between me..then he would come closer and kiss me while leaning over the table a little too much.. almost like the missionary position. yeahhhh. i dunno. i'm just..blah right now. i don't want to have sex because that ruins a relationship...if you dont get enough or if you do it too much. gah. i dunno!

I would seriously tell him no and you'll let him know if and when you get to the point you're ready. Don't let him push you into something you're not ready for. It sounds to me like you have a good head on your shoulders and have your mind made up about this. Your parents are right.

Just sit him down and tell him you're not interested in taking your relationship to that level right now and you'd appreciate it if he'd respect your boundaries. If he pushes the issue, then I'd be wondering if that's not all he's interested in.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

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is it bad to take pain relief pills everyday?

If you find the need to take pain relief pills every day, I would suggest talking to your doctor. While everyone needs somethine every once in a while, needing pain relief pills every day seems a bit excessive. Your doctor can help get to the cause of the pain and advise you on medication that will work for your condition.

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This may sound like a stupid question, but here goes...
When I was younger I used to collect semi-precious stones (like pink quartz, fools gold, turquoise etc.) and I have about 100 of them. But now they are just sitting in a drawer gathering dust and I don't want them anymore. I'm not sure if they would be worth anything, and if they were, where could I sell them? They are a nice collection.
Thanks, give me some advice if you have any ideas.
FakeArms

If there is a place in your town that sells hand-made jewelry, you might ask about selling them there.

You could also talk to the science teacher in your school and ask if they would be interested in your collection or if they know of someone that's interested in semi-precious stones.

As a last option, you could try selling them on ebay. I'm sure there's someone interested in your collection.

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Ok so heres what I need help with...I've been dating my boyfriend for 7 months now (I'm 16/f going on 17 and he just turned 18) I want to do something extremely special for him...I've already made him a painting on canvas, baked cookies for him, played guitar and wrote a song for him. Hes so compassionate-- and deserves the best. We are still extremely touchy feely (always holding hands and cuddling etc...) I know this sounds ridiculous...but does anyone have any ideas?
Thanks,
-Nina

You could make a memory book. Include stubs from movies, concerts, amusement parks, etc you've went to together. Add some pictures of the two of you together. You can add little notes that you've written for him telling how you feel.

Another idea is a box filled with little notes giving reasons why you love him and love being with him. That way he can draw out a note each day and be reminded of your love.

A CD of songs that are special to your relationship or tell how you feel is a good idea too.

Making his favorite meal and having a candle-lit dinner is nice. You may need to talk to his parents to find out what his favorite meal is and get the recipe.

Some good sites with loads of tips you can try.
http://www.theromantic.com/
http://www.lovingyou.com/content/romance/?ID=ideas
http://www.romantic-tips.com/
http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/romanticideas.shtml

Good luck. I hope these help.

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We are adopting a new cat(male) and brining him home tonight. Please, anyone with experiance - What is the best way to introduce him to our other cat(female)?

I've always had cats as pets. One thing that I've found that helps them get used to each other is putting the new cat in a room and shutting the door. The old cat will sniff around the door and get used to the new cat's scent. Once they get used to each other that way, then you can gradually bring them together.

Don't be surprised if they're wary of each other to start with. Sometimes cats can be a little territorial if they see another cat coming in.

Good luck and congrats on the new cat.

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As dumb as this may sound, I didn't actually realize how horrible it is, when you eat chicken & hamburgers. I didn't actually understand the concept that for me to eat a hamburger, is for an innocent cow to just die. My friend sent me an e-mail with a video about fur trade in China, and how dogs & cats are skinned and killed everyday just for fur. But, it got me to thinking how horrible that actually is. I really have been thinking about it today, and I think just eating hamburgers & chicken is disgusting especially knowing that an animal died for that. I'm really considering turning into a vegetarian. Do you believe that this is a good enough reason to want to turn vegetarian? Thanks so much. ♥

The reason you've stated here is a common one for turning vegetarian. Others choose to make the change for health reasons. If you do decide to go meat-free, I would suggest talking to your doctor about a balanced diet to make sure that you're getting all the nutrients your body needs.

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My crotch incessantly itches, wich I know can be a symptom of an STD/STI, but I'm a virgin (no one other than me has touched it since I was a baby). I've had problems with urinary tract infections in the past. So should I really be worried? 14/f

It could be a yeast or vaginal infection. I would suggest seeing your doctor for a checkup just to be sure. If it is an infection, they can prescribe you some medicine to treat it.

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Okay, wasn't sure if this should go under health or injuries or what, so I just chose injuries. Anyway, I woke up this morning and the left side of my jaw was killing me. I think I may have fallen asleep with my mouth clenched tight or just maybe slept on it wrong. But usually when my braces bother me I keep my mouth clenched (I think that's the word for it) so that's most likely the cause. My dad looked at it and said that it wasn't too serious and just to either keep something cold on it, or to take a shower because the steam or heat or something would help.

Just wondering if either of those might soothe the pain, or if you guys/girls had any other ideas. I know none of you are doctors, I just wanted to know if you guys/girls knew of anything that will make my jaw hurt less. I would take pills like advil or something, but I could barely get my mouth open enough to eat breakfast this morning (toast) rather than swallowing pills, mainly because I have a pill phobia and would need a lot of water and stuff to be able to take them.
So any pain relievers for my jaw that don't have to do with swallowing pills would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance!!

Heat might help relax your jaw where it will not hurt as much. Just run a washcloth under warm water, ring it out, then apply the washcloth to your jaw.

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I'm 15 and I think I have social anxiety disorder. My parents keep urging me to get help from a counsellor.. but I can't. It's really pathetic but for me the idea of having to sit in a room with a total stranger and answer questions or something is pure torture. I want to get help but how can anyone help me when I can't speak to people?

You could try having your parents go with you to the counselor until you get used to being around that person. That may help ease you into the situation instead of throwing you in head-first. Another option is to try speaking to someone you already know and trust-a school counselor, your family doctor, your spiritual leader, etc.

Good luck.

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Ok, i haven't gotten my period since middle JULY. My mom is getting worried but i keep saying nothings wrong. BUt im not so sure. Does anyone have an explanation for this?

Your period can go stop coming for a variety of reasons. Are you under a lot of stress? Are you sick? Have you changed your diet or exercise regimen? These can all make your period disappear.

I would suggest making an appointment with your doctor or gynecologist for a check-up just to rule out anything else.

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does lime wire cause viruses or anything that could harm my computer because i want to make cds but im afriad to do it

Anything you download from the internet has a possibility to cause viruses. It doesn't matter which program it is. Your best bet is to either stop downloading or get a very good antivirus and keep it up to date.

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ok i want to exercise but i have bad asmta what can i do that can help with fitness
thanks in advance

I also have asthma so I know exactly where you're coming from. My doctor suggested that I stick to low-impact exercise. Walking is a great exercise I've found. I can go as slow or fast as my body is up to. Swimming, crunches, riding an exercise bike, squats, even yoga can be done also as long as you're sure to take breaks when you need them. Drinking plenty of water while exercising also seems to help.

You want to consider talking with your family doctor. There are some medicines that will help with your breathing while you exercise. I have an inhaler for those times that I overdue it.

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i need some good advice to give to my little brother, he is madly in love with a girl alot younger than him. she is 16 and he will be 22 in dec. they dont have a physical relationship, that i know of, god i hope they dont, but anyway he has asked me if i think it is wrong to be in love with her. i am trying to not be to sisterly and bossy about my answer to him i just need some advice on how to tell him how i feel about it. i think it is wrong, but at the same time i want him to be happy. please help

Since she is under 18, I would suggest telling your brother to proceed with caution if they do decide to take their relationship to the next level.

Personally, I don't think an age difference is wrong. My husband is quite a few years older than me and we have a great marriage.

As for your actual question, this is a touchy situation. Tell him that personally you think the age difference will be a problem, but it is his choice. Pick your words with care and try not to sound like you're attacking his girlfriend, even subtly. Sometimes things come across a lot differently than we intend. Let him know that whatever his decision, you'll be there for him. He needs your support more than he needs advice here. Just my opinion.

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Ok, well my choir instructor told us that we needed to record ourselves singing. So I did. For a while, I thought I was a good singer (soprano, especially since I got myself in an advanced choir a lot of people have told me I have a good voice. So I recorded myself passionately singing The Witches Chorus from Verdi's "Macbeth" and the recording sounded terrible! Awful! I've never heard myself on a recording before and I don't feel very good. Does this mean I have been a terrible singer all along, or does everyone think their voice sounds bad on a recording?

A lot depends on the quality of the recording. If you're using a regular recorder, chances are it's distorting your voice. I would ask your choir instructor for her honest opinion.

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I need advice on how I can start a petition. I need to know how I officially and legally start it and who do I present it to. How do I organize it? As you can see from my title, the purpose of the petition would be to have some sort of ruling against out-ruling the pledge of allegiance in schools or changing it.

Anyways, do you think because of 'under God' that after over 200 years, the pledge should be changed or withdrawn from any school. Why or why not? Thanks in advance.

The main idea of a petition is to clearly state three points-the situation, your suggestion for the change, and your reasoning behind your suggestion. Your reasoning should be well-researched, preferably with other reputable books and websites to back it up. Try to convey your point in as few words as possible. Most people will not read several pages of data.

It should be addressed to the proper person. This can be your congressman. You can find the address online and sometimes in your local newspaper.

You should have an area for signatures and addresses. It's better if you have enough room after your explanation and plea for signatures.

It should be typed and printed on good quality paper. Make sure you spellcheck it and have several people proofread it for errors. You want a professional, polished piece here.

A couple suggestions for your petition:

While "Under God" is being removed to protect the rights of those that do not believe in God, many feel that it's violating the rights of those who do believe.

God is mentioned in the Declaration of Independence, written by the forefathers of our country.

Good luck in your endeavor.

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15 1/2 Female.

For the record I have been kissed many times, and have had a boy friend (if you want to call him that) before.

I can't help but wish I could find a guy that would like me for me and would always be with me. Yes, I realise this is most girls dream but I can't stop thinking about it.
I have a huge crush on guy that works at the local grocery store but I think he thinks I'm older... (I tend to get told I look older then I really am) I have a couple other crushes but the guys are younger then me. Like 2 years younger.

Now, if I were reading this question right now I know how I'd answer it but i'm hoping some of you have different ideas then me.

Should I just let myself stay up all night dreaming about having a boy friend and feeling stupid that I'm thinking that or should I take a stab and really introduce myself to Billy (safeway guy)?

Any opinions are welcome but please TRY to write in english.

My theory on love is nothing ventured, nothing gained. Go ahead and introduce yourself to Billy, as well as other guys. They're not going to know that you're looking unless you give it a try. Even if it doesn't turn into a relationship, you have at least had the opportunity to meet someone new. You never know; many male/female friendships grow into a deeper relationship later on.

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how much does it cost for theraphy...in chicago illinois??

Prices will vary depending on the type of therapy, the therapist you go to, and how long your treatment is. If you have health insurance, some policies will pay for the treatment. Some therapists work on a sliding scale, which means they take into account your income when deciding the cost.

I would suggest calling around to different offices near you to find the one that best fits your needs and budget.

You can do a search for therapists in your area at the link below. It even has a search option for session cost.

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php?t=custom

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