i have a girlfriend and we have done smooches and physical contacts. but she isnt ready to do sex. tell me what shud i do to make her do so with me??????
I don't know what you should do, but I have a good idea of her best course of action, which would be to dump you. You don't "make" someone have sex with you: you wait until they're ready and willing. Anything else makes you a jerk who doesn't deserve a girlfriend. Guys like you make me sick, my first boyfriend had exactly your attitude and let me tell you, it wasn't that long before I dumped his sorry ass.
I smell a 1 here, but frankly my dear I couldn't give a f*ck. Come back to us when you've grown up a bit(which probably means never-Yay!)
Good luck!
Lucretia.
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What are some easy recipes that make good food. I want to empress this guy with my cooking. I think we might be hanging out soon and when it comes around lunch time I want to wip something nice up! but not to fancy.
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This is an excellent site, which gives you access to many, many recipes from all around the world. I would especially recomment Italian or Chinese food, as these cusines are often quick, easy and impressive.
Happy cooking!
Lucretia.
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hi i am rohit. i have been doing masturbation since 4 years. tell me what are the ill effects of doing this? should i stop doing this? what are the advantages of this too?
You'll go blind, hairs will grow on the palms of your hands and you'll be more infertile than if you took a daily bath in Mountain Dew.
Ahem.... Just kidding. No ill effects whatsoever.(Nor are there to drinking MD, just to reassure our dimmer-witted teen readers). The advantage is that you get your edge off during lean times, ie release sexual tension when you're not getting laid.
Enjoy!
Lucretia.
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One night last week I was talking to a friend (that is a guy) and I had liked him for some time. We were talking and I told him I had a boyfriend. He got really angry and was like "I cant talk to you if you have a boyfriend" He told me that he liked me and I told him that I had liked him for a long time. He said that if he had known he would have asked me out along time ago.
I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend 1) because he cheated on me and 2) because I liked the kid i talked about above^^
Now my guy friend never really talks to me. I feel like he probly doesnt like me anymore and im really pissed off because I could see myself being with him for a long time. last night when I was talking to him he said "why would you wana talk to me anyways you have a boyfriend" and I told him that I broke up with him. and he goes "ouh well im out bye"
What should I do? I really like him. Maybe Im not ready for another relationship but I like him alot and I have for a while. Do you think he doesnt like me anymore? HELP!
15/f by the way
sorry it was so long
Your friend probably feels insecure in your feelings for him. I have to say that his behaviour is a little immature-but that's fifteen year old boys for you. He doesn't sound like a jerk, unlike your cheating ex(well done for splitting up with him BTW).
What you need to do now is speak to your friend again. It might be an idea to call him rather than IM him, even face to face would be good(if you go to the same school. I f not, you could always arrange to meet at the mall or somewhere on a weekend. Your plan should be to ask him out-perhaps on a "pre-date" you know, just hanging out together, not calling yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend . Get to know each other as more than friends. Just tell him everything you have told us, and it should be ok. If he's still stubborn and angry, then perhaps you need to give him time and space to mature. Boys in their mid-teens can be remarkably moody and self dramatising, more so than girls sometimes.Whatever happens, try not to lose him as a friend. Friendships are precious, at times almost more so than romantic relationships.
Good luck,
Lucretia.
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My boyfriend is the caring, sweet, humorous type; pretty much what any girl would want. But he's very, very shy. I can't seem to get him to open up when we're around people but when we're alone he opens up fine. He's not very spontaneous but isn't bothered by my personality of being very random. My guy friend had to actually talk to him about going further than just kissing to get him to do anything with me. (Usually, it's the guy taking it too far right?) I mean he can be very outgoing. Sometimes he'll just send or write random things like "Omg, she's so hot" or "She's so cool" (Talking about me)to my friends or in a message somewhere. It's hard to give him that hint to put his arm around me in public (Though he does it sometimes when we're around other people) We never hold hands but that's basically my fault since I'm very self conscious of my hands. I just want to know what I could do to open him & myself up more.
To be honest, I don't really see that you have a problem. You say "When we're alone he opens up fine". Trust me, that's better than the other way round, ie someone that's the life and soul and very touchy-feely in public, and withdrawn in private. His behaviour shows refreshing lack of superficiality-you guys are a real couple, not just for show.
Having said all that, I can understand that it might be awkward for your friends if he always clams up in public; my advice is that you talk to them about it, behind his back. Often when a member of a group is shy, the others will talk more in order to compensate. This pattern then becomes a vicious cycle-the more they talk, the less he talks, thus the more they talk and so on. Encourage them to draw him out, weave into the general conversation things that will interest him, or that he knows a lot about. Shy and quiet people can become quite talkative on the subject of their special interests or hobbies(of course, if there's any danger of him becoming a bore on any topic, it's up to you to steer the conversation away again). Socially, your task is none too easy-however, it sounds like you've got yourself a good guy.
Good luck!
Lucretia.
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My husband and I have known each other for 6 years. We've been married for 3. Great life, lots of laughs, travel. I asked him not to ask me to watch dirty movies, as I do not think they're necessary for a marriage (plus I think it's not right to watch them AND they gross me out). BUt still, he subscribes to the channels. He doesn't make me watch them, but I know he does on his own (as I understand by our cable bill, once or twice a month). How can I make him understand how much this hurts me? That I don't feel like he values me enough as a woman because he still watches that filth? I've let him know time and time again, but he just calls me prude and frigid. Every fight we have can be somehow related to this issue. I feel like he's pulling away. Help!
Much as I respect the excellent advice just given to you by Brenda, I am going to go a different route-if you can't beat 'em, beat off! By which I mean you could ask your husband whether he would mind your looking on at one of his movies, and see how you feel. I understand that porn grosses you out, and I do agree that it's made largely for heterosexual men, but if watched with the right attitude of mind, it can be fun. Seriously, I used to find it quite an erotic bonding experience with some of my exes.
Porn makes a lot of women insecure. That's the first mistake, as sex and "beauty" (as promoted by magazines) have little to do with each other, despite what the cosmetic surgery industry may try to persuade us to the contrary. Try putting the laughter back into sex, and have a giigle at the silly accents and ridiculous scenarios laid on (pun fully intended) in the film. Porn is not just about sex-it's all round entertainment.
However, if you just can't envisage yourself doing that, then I wholly agree with Brenda that you should speak to your husband about it-if he loves you, he will care enough about your feelings to put his penchant for porn to one side. After all, it's a luxury, not a necessity, and one that can in no way repalce the sharing experience which is real sex. Which fact brings me full circle, and back to why I personally don't object to porn-it's the icing on the cake, something your husband enjoys because he can -all the more because he has a real live woman in his bed. Having said that, he shouldn't be calling you frigid-that's an unfairly harsh term. Whether or not you want to watch porn is your choice. I still think that whether or not he wants to watch it should be his. Maybe in the end you'll just have to agree to disagee.
Good luck,
Lucretia.
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I'm usually either very lethargic or very pissed off in the morning and I figure I can fix that by adding something a little more enjoyable into my routine. I'll wake up earlier if it seems worth it. Does anyone have anything special they do in the morning that helps them not be a zombie/grump? (Note: going to Starbuck's every morning and other such expensive things are a bit out of the question).
I have the same problem that you do. What do I do? Set my alarm for half an hour earlier than I need to, and do a dance routine. Seriously, it's a real energy/mood boost-gets those endorphins jumping around. If you don't want to disturb your household with music, dance to your discman or MP3 player. Excercise gives a better high than coffee or sugar, because the endorphin rush lasts for longer, and is not followed by a crash as can happen with caffeine(unless you keep yourself constantly topped up, which is not a good idea , healthwise).
Also, you should finish off your morning routine with a good breakfast, without too much sugar:fruit, muesli and yogurt is a good combination, with perhaps water or fruit juice, and/or herbal tea(camomile is especially good after excercise). Try not to get too dependent on coffee or regular tea-caffeine is addicitve and a caffeine addiction could add to your morning slump. Check out lulabelle's column for other ideas which link our foods and lifestyles to our feelings.(she's on my favorites list).
Good luck
Lucretia x.
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Hey, right about now I have no clue what to do with my life. I am 16 and just had a baby last August. The man I thought was his father turned out not to be, it turned out that the guy that raped me is my sons father. After this all came out and I have the results on paper that the man I love is not the father and the one I despise is his father I do not know what to do with my life anymore. My sons father hasn't talked to me since we found out he was the father and I just don't know what to do. I also am trying to get things together with my ex, who was the one I thought was the father but I just don't know what to do. We were together for 2 and a half years, so I mean I am still in love with him. HELP ME SOMEBODY!!
The real problem that you have to address is the relationship between you and your ex. Forget your baby's father- you don't want a rapist in your child's life. Be thankful that he doesn't want anything to do with your son-it would be more of a problem if he wanted visitation rights.
I don't know what to suggest that you do to mend the relationship between you and your ex, since you don't mention why you split up. You are so young that it would be remarkable if you did form a lasting and solid relationship(although I'm not saying that that never happens). Really, you need to assure your ex of your love for him, and tell him that you don't think of the other guy as your son's father. I warn you though, you may not get through to him, as he may not be crazy about standing as father to another man's child.
As to the legal postion, I don't know how it works in your state, but I should imagine that your baby's father is obliged to pay child support. I don't think that gives him automatic visitation rights, but to get the exact legal position, contact your state department.
In all of this, don'y forget yourself and your wellbeing. You have gone and are going through a very harrowing experience; are you in regular contact with a doctor or clinic? Remember to take care of yourself, for your child's sake as much as for your own. It might be an idea to ask your doctor to recommend you to a counselor, just to keep yourself sane.
Good luck, and take care,
Lucretia.
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hello i am new to this system so help me i am having problems with my girlfriend we have been together for 2years and 1month and im her first b.f, it all started when her best friend manipulated me into having sex with her after i cheated on my gf i swore and made a promise saying nothing will ever happen like that again, and its been the truth now all she wants is to argue she bafrely talks to me right now she asked for a break for no reason and she likes to hang out with her friends more even though she has been the best thing in my life and still is i want anyones opinion i really need help to figure her out!!!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Her best friend manipulated me into having sex with her". Sorry mate, not good enough. Disregard Short N Punky, who tells you that your girlfriend is a stuck up bitch. She isn't a stuck up bitch, she's a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend, and who then blames the friend. What about taking some responsibility for yourself? So her best friend sounds like a bitch, but that doesn't mean that the sex between you was all her fault, which I'm sure you already know.
Basically, you're not going to win any favours by blameshifting-you need to grovel a little. You say that you've already assured your girlfriend that nothing like that will ever happen again-you now need to assure her yet again, this time taking your share of the blame. "Listen, (insert girlfriend's name), I know what (insert bff's name) and I did was wrong. It was especially stupid of me, since cheating on a partner is worse than cheating on a friend, but I really love you.....(you know the rest, as you've said it so many times before).
Girls lap up feminism, and loathe misogyny(that's hatred of women). If you seem like the kind that will cheat then blame the other woman, then no sensible girl will stay with you. The course of action I've outlined is your best shot-as Razhie says before me, there's not a lot you can do if it doesn't work, but you'll at least have tried.
Good luck!
Lucretia.
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Lately me & my boyfriend have been having alot of fights. I dont want to break up with him because I love him heaps & I dont want to lose him. But he has been acting like he doesnt care & everything. Just want someone to help me get through this before I do something wrong. What should I do?
H'm, tricky one. I'd like to say that I agree with the previous columnist, and say stick it out, but I can't do that unreservedly. You say that he's been "acting like he doesn't care". I have gone through this with boyfriends in the past, and frankly it annoys the h*ll out of me. Obviously we're only seeing your side of things, but reading between the lines I'd say that you were a caring person who is faced with a possibly uncaring partner. Sure you don't want to lose him, but is he so worth hanging on to?
My advice is to give it a trial period. Try not to get into fights with him: when you feel like yelling and screaming, take time out, count ten, you know the rest. On the other hand, watch his behaviour-if he improves in response to your improved behaviour then you're fine, you can move on. If not, then you need to move on in another sense, by dumping him. You deserve someone who treats you well.
Good luck,
Lucretia.
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I am planning on asking this girl out. Both are adults. Saying she says yes, what are some unique, cute, romantic, first date ideas besides going to the movies or out for dinner. Anyones advice tips will be very much appreciated.
Personally, I don't think that you can improve upon the old formula of dinner followed by a movie(or vice-versa). You have something to talk about afterwards, and you can get a real idea of someone's personality by the sort of films they like-it can help if you don't choose mainstream fluff.
But you asked for alternatives, so here are a few:
Skating-Either ice or roller(at this time of year, ice skating would be an indoor rink, so roller skating or blading is more fun, as it's better people watching, especially if you live in a large city.)
Art gallery: Check listings for any special exhibitions-as with the cinema, tastes in art can be a real key to compatibility in other areas.
Opera or ballet: An interesting, and in the case of ballet unusual alternative to the cinema. Can be surprsingly cheap if you book well enough in advance and don't mind taking seats at the side of the opera house.
A plain old walk: You can always go for a walk in the park, or drive out to the beach if there's one near enough where you live. Not adequate as the only thing on a date- a nice idea for after dinner.
A dinner dance: A bit old fashioned, but as I understand enjoying a comeback in some of the U.S. cities. Dinner followed by a club is also good, though perhaps not for a first date.
Those are just some ideas-as I said earlier, check listings in newspapers for what's on in terms of outdoor theatre, gigs, etc.As summer comes closer, more and more acts perform outdoors, often for very cheap or free.
Enjoy your date!
Lucretia.
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15/female
A couple months ago my doctor diagnosed me with depression and I started to see a councelor. I quit going after a couple times because she made me feel worse and I had a breakdown 2 times in one week because of her. I was fine for awhile, but now I'm feeling horrible again. I don't know why I'm feeling depressed and everynight I want to kill myself.
I can't take anti-depressants because they'll react with my medicine that I'm taking right now. Anyone know of ideas to get my mind out of this fix that it gets into?
For a start, you need to stop seeing this counselor if you feel that she is making your problem worse. Tell your doctor about this(I know that it can be hard to tell a doctor or other adult about feelings that might seem irrational, but the point is that we are not wholly rational beings, and doctors need to understand that.More specifically, your doctor needs to understand that you need to see another person, someone with whom you can have a better connection. Trust me, I've been there and I know what I'm talking about. A bad therapist is worse than useless).
Moving on to your second point: I'm really impressed at the wording of your question "get my mind out of this fix it gets into". That shows that you are aware that your mind is making a trap for itself:that awareness is the first and most important step towards recovery. From my own experience, I would say that there is no one consisently reliable method of tricking your mind out of its self destructive pattern-if there were, it would surely have been patented by now. Some might suggest yoga, others meditation, others booze. Whatever you do, don't turn to the last or to drugs of any kind(I'm sure you already know that and I'm not trying to be patronising, it's just that narcotics are an all too tempting quick fix). Even yoga and meditation, though excellent in themselves, will not remove your problems- though clear and deep thought will help you get to their source. After that, it's really up to you- in my experience, even the best therapists can only do so much(though they can be essential in a crisis-seriously, get on to your doctor about it).
Good luck,
Lucretia
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Hi,
My problem is bullying. I am being bullied in one class at school. My teacher is kind of crazy and he really has ups and downs, so if I tell he might overreact or not do anything. I feel really bad and I do not know anyone in the class. Should I stick it out for the last quarter? I feel hopeless. There are many bullies and I cannot stick up to them all. Going to higher authorities is not a good option in my school. If I transfer classes, there is a cost and I only have 4 more weeks, but its getting worse.
First off, I am really sorry that you are being bullied-in any decent school, bullying just does not occur. Which knowledge is not much use to you, seeing as you're surrounded.
The fact that your teacher doesn't even seem to have noticed what's going on suggests that you shouldn't go to him with the problem. You don't mention why the higher authorities are a bad option. Are they inefficient, stupid? They're there for a reason, and if they don't do their job,you could threaten them with the press. I know that this last idea sounds drastic, but where I live in Britain, the press is a scary threat.Might not be so where you live, but it's worth a go. Tell the authorities about the bullying, and demand to transfer classes without the penalty. If they refuse, then say you'll go to the press about the inefficiency of them and their staff.
Another point. I f you haven't told your parents, now is the time to do so. Get them to talk to lawyers, who you could also threaten your school with if they refuse to cooperate.
Good luck, and keep me updated.
Lucretia x
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To give you a little background i am 19 he is 23, i am in macon,ga working at a hospital full-time and he works out of town. We broke up a little over a month ago and i dont know what to do anymore i am constantly thinking of him even at work. i have tried talking to him but he want talk to me. we were going out over two years and all of a sudden he ended it with no way i knew it was coming. he still has some of my things and i have some of his things and i have to meet him next week to get them but i dont know if i can handle seeing him. He said alot of mean stuff to mean over the last month i know what it was just to hurt me, i asked him why we broke up and what went on all he would say is that he wanted to be single for a while. does that mean he found someone new? i have always trusted him even working out of town. i had no reason not to. he would call me every night and we would talk hours on end becuase we missed each other. and this came so sudden. i am getting to that point were i dont sleep and when i do i crawl into bed at like 4:00 am and have to wake early so not much sleep and i barely eat maybe on emeal a day. i just dont know wha tto do anymore. help guys answer to to why he did this and why guys say mean stuff
What you need to do is to distance yourself from him completely. I know that it's incredibly difficult, and you will feel for a little what seems like unbearable pain, but you have no choice. Forget about whether or not he's with someone new. Noone who loves you would behave like that to you. If it hurts, it isn't love. That last statement is in direct contradiction of the at times overwhelming message of our culture which is that "if it DOESN'T hurt, it isn't love". It's all too easy to get carried away by the highs of angst, and believe me,you're in good company. Don't be fooled! Why not keep a step ahead of the culture , and refuse to be tricked. You'll be happier in the long run.
Right now, though, my concern is as much for your physical as for your emotional health. In your current emotional state, skipping meals is risky-it can lead to an eating disorder(seriously, I developed one myself just after a really rough breakup). People, especially but not exclusively women, becaome addicted to the high that results from skipping meals- the weight loss can also seem like a desirable side effect. Again, don't buy it. Anyone can be an angst-ridden waif. What you need is to be strong. Take up hobbies(sounds lame, but it works). Play sport, learn an instrument. Spend time with your friends. I know it's hard and that you have a full time job, but try to find the energy to pursue outside interests. Energy will be difficult to muster up if you don't eat(I sound like someone's over-anxious mother-someone slap me around the head).
In conclusion, if you can do nothing else, forget this loser. He isn't worth your making yourself ill.
Take care, and good luck.
Lucretia x.
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ok.. so my boyfriend looks at porn. ive never had a problem with porn with any other guy ive been with, but lately its been getting to me. I just cant bare the thought of my boyfriend fantasizing about other women. even worse; their bodies are perfect && mine are far from it and i just dont want him comparing me to them. So my question is:
-Is it ok for me to feel this way?
-Is looking at porn considered cheating to some people?
-Should i say something to my boyfriend
-If so what?
(hes very stubborn)
You have a problem, but it isn't that your boyfriend enjoys porn. Almost all men, regardless of their level of fidelity to their partner, enjoy porn. It has nothing to do with your relationship,and everything to so with the human urge to be sexual,and fantasise many different acts of sex with many different people.
Your problem is that your boyfriend's enjoyment makes you insecure. While you are not alone in that, it is still highly irrational. Trust me, sex and "beauty" are not the same thing: your boyfriend is not mentally compliling a list of your flaws while gawping at the actresses(who are in any case heavily airbrushed). The best way for you to get around this is for you to talk to your boyfriend. Don't be agressive or confrontational-that'll only aggravate him and bring out his stubborn side. It is perfectly reasonble for you to share your insecurities with him, and to expect him not to look at at porn openly when you are there, or to leave it in clear evidence on his computer. Having said that, it might be an idea for you to look at these movies together- it can be quite an effective erotic bonding experience, one which I have enjoyed with a few of my boyfriends in the past. But failing that, you should try to leave behind your insecurities and concentrate on how sex feels, rather thatn how it looks. That way, your experience with your boyfriend will be envigorating and sensual and a million times better than any porn film.
Good luck!
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Hi. This is F/14.
My problem is (If this is a problem)I Have no pubic hair on my armpits and around vagina. My skin there is just like 8 year old girl. I started my periods one & a half year back. Is this a big problem. What may be the reason? I am worried about any future disease. Please advice?
I am sure that there is no problem:pubic hair(or the lack thereof) is as intensely personal a bodily issue as growth rate, height, breast size et.al. Please don't worry. I can understand that it makes you feel uncomfortable, but be happy in the knowledge that many women would kill for your "problem". I f you are still concerned, you should visit your doctor, but I am sure that s/he would say exactly the same as I do. Everyone is different.
Take care, Lucretia x.
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i keep having to peee
like all of a sudden really bad and then very little comes out, very often
and i havent drinkin that much today, just a small cup of cranberry juice, a bottle of water, and a can of minute maid lite...
does anyone know what this is?
thank you
It sounds as if you have a UTI(Urinary Tract Infection) like cystitis, (which I suffered from intermittently throughout my childhood and early teens). Go to the doctor, who'll prescribe you a course of medicine. Until then, drink plenty-cranberry juice is excellent for cystitis. You want to flush the infection out of your system, plus if you drink more, you'll have more urine which is more comfortable than having that tiny little amount.
Good luck.
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My bf is best friends with a guy that is just plain creepy. For one thing, he is 38 years old and still lives with his mother. He is also a pedophile, and only goes for very young girls. My bf has even told me that he's a pedophile, so I'm not making it up.
The thing that bothers me is that I've caught his friend staring at me inappropriatly at parties, and he's even winked at me. I had to give his friend a ride home once (because the loser doesnt have a car ) and he told me he liked me for a long time and told me to kiss him. I told him no, and after I dropped him off I told my bf what happened. My bf just laughed and didnt seem to take it seriously. I also heard a story that his friend used to stalk a waitress.
I really don't understand why my bf is still friends with this creep. Sometimes I feel that he'd rather be friends with him than me.
Should I give my bf an ultimateum and say it's either his creepy friend or me? Or would that be too controlling?
In my opinion, you should certainly ultimatum your boyfriend. Under normal circumstances, our partners' tiresome friends are just an unfortunate fact of life that we have to put up with. These are however, far from normal circumstances. Indeed, I would go further than that, and say you should dump your bofriend without an ultimatum. The attitiude already displayed by him , plus the very fact that he is friends with this creep, make me think you'd be better of with someone else.
Having said all that, I know it's pedantic and only tangentially related to your question, but I don't like the word "pedophile" being used for someone who likes girls(or boys) in early adolescence. Such a person is a creep and a weirdo, more than undesirable. But a pedophile is someone who likes pre pubescents, children, sometimes as young as five or, sickeningly, even babies or toddlers. I presume that your boyfriend's friend is not one of these-if he is, then you need to involve the police. At once. Indeed, if you have any evidence of him intefering with anyone underage, you should perhaps let someone know. But whatever happens there, you need to take care of yourself. Leave your boyfriend and this guy to enloy each other's company, and move on.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
Lucretia x.
EDIT
I have recently come upon the correct term for a man such as the one described in this question. The term is "Ephebophile". From Wikepedia:
Ephebophilia has been defined as a sexual preference in which an adult is primarily or exclusively sexually attracted to postpubescent adolescents.
(Ephebophilia)is used in contrast with pedophilia, which is an attraction to pre-pubescent or pubescent individuals.
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i want to know if you are going to makeout with someone for the first time how would you do it? to make it look like you have done it before with out over doing it!!???
Really, if you have to come to an advice website to ask how to make out, then I doubt you're ready. I don't want to patronise you, but I wonder if you even know what making out involves..
Anyways, you kiss the guy, with or without tounges,it 's your choice. Slap his hand(or don't) when he tries to slip it up your top. Just don't feel pressured into anything, and don't date a guy older than fifteen. Also don't pretend (sorry , there's a lot of no no's). It's not smart, it's silly-you'll have more fun if you let him know you have no experience. Be honset in all matters sexual!( I speak as one who used routinely to fake orgasms-a singularly worthless pursuit, which does no one any favours). You have your whole sex life ahead of you(I feel quite envious as I think of that). There's no need to rush anything.
Good luck!
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how can i tell what people in the world are honest and good?
and why is everything always about sex lately?
its so fckd up.
i rate high. :]
Good question. You can only discover whether someone is worthwhile by getting to know them. It's true that many people are both cruel and duplicitous, but many more are truly kind, plus there's the majority of us, who are somewhere in between. But I do believe that there are very many kind people out there- remember that kindness can exist without integrity, but is much more effective with it. As for "everything always being about sex" -believe me, there's no "lately" about it. Without sex, we wouldn't be here. Sex isn't evil in itself- neither is lust. What is bad is when lying and manipulation become involved;sex is the most effective power tool in the world,that's just a basic fact. Face it, know it, and you needn't be afraid of it because you don't have to live by those rules. You have a good heart and mind, and curiosity. That'll be enough to see you through. If you want to discuss these issues further, then drop a question in my inbox.
Lucretia x.
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