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shy kid
My boyfriend is the caring, sweet, humorous type; pretty much what any girl would want. But he's very, very shy. I can't seem to get him to open up when we're around people but when we're alone he opens up fine. He's not very spontaneous but isn't bothered by my personality of being very random. My guy friend had to actually talk to him about going further than just kissing to get him to do anything with me. (Usually, it's the guy taking it too far right?) I mean he can be very outgoing. Sometimes he'll just send or write random things like "Omg, she's so hot" or "She's so cool" (Talking about me)to my friends or in a message somewhere. It's hard to give him that hint to put his arm around me in public (Though he does it sometimes when we're around other people) We never hold hands but that's basically my fault since I'm very self conscious of my hands. I just want to know what I could do to open him & myself up more.
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To be honest, I don't really see that you have a problem. You say "When we're alone he opens up fine". Trust me, that's better than the other way round, ie someone that's the life and soul and very touchy-feely in public, and withdrawn in private. His behaviour shows refreshing lack of superficiality-you guys are a real couple, not just for show.
Having said all that, I can understand that it might be awkward for your friends if he always clams up in public; my advice is that you talk to them about it, behind his back. Often when a member of a group is shy, the others will talk more in order to compensate. This pattern then becomes a vicious cycle-the more they talk, the less he talks, thus the more they talk and so on. Encourage them to draw him out, weave into the general conversation things that will interest him, or that he knows a lot about. Shy and quiet people can become quite talkative on the subject of their special interests or hobbies(of course, if there's any danger of him becoming a bore on any topic, it's up to you to steer the conversation away again). Socially, your task is none too easy-however, it sounds like you've got yourself a good guy.
Good luck!
Lucretia.
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Theres no doubt in my mind that this guy is into you even though he's not showing it in public.
This kind of behavior is normal, and he's probably never held hands or put his arm around a girl in front of people before. And that might be a scary thought to him because of that. He might be afraid of rejection, or anything else a nervous guy can think of being scared of. I know that you wouldn't reject him, but that kind of stuff goes on in a guy's head.
Plus, if you find yourself making someone make him go further with you, then you are just pushing things a little too hard. This is all something new to him, so don't push him until he feels confident enough to do those things with you.
When you both are alone, just tell him that you really like it when he has his arm around you and that you'd really like it if he'd do that with you around friends too or something. That way he'll know that you want this to continue.
It's normal for two people to be shy in a relationship. You just have to keep spending time together and talking more and you can break that shell. Soon after you guys have been together for a long time, then that hand problem of yours won't be a big deal.
-TheTeenGirl
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Hi
He sounds like a great guy!!
I know when you're a teenager you have hormones running all through you. Those kinds of things are very important to you. Will he kiss me, will he hug me, will he show other people that we are a couple.
As you get older, you will realize that he is being a gentleman. He wants to show you that he likes you and is interested, without having to be sexual.
This doesn't mean that he's not sexually attracted to you, but he just doesn't want to take it too fast and ruin the great thing you guys have going.
If he opens up around you that's obviously because he feels comfortable around you. He's not comfortable around people he doesn't know as well, therefore his personality kinda retreats. I'm sure he opens up around his close friends and family.
This is something that he can work on, and maybe as he gets older that will improve.
In the meantime, thank your lucky stars that you got one of the good ones, and all that other stuff will eventually fall into place.
Take care,
Brenda
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Okay, maybe I'm not so sure on how to open him up but maybe, if you start doing more stuff he'll open up.
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