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i dont know what to do anymore!!!!!
To give you a little background i am 19 he is 23, i am in macon,ga working at a hospital full-time and he works out of town. We broke up a little over a month ago and i dont know what to do anymore i am constantly thinking of him even at work. i have tried talking to him but he want talk to me. we were going out over two years and all of a sudden he ended it with no way i knew it was coming. he still has some of my things and i have some of his things and i have to meet him next week to get them but i dont know if i can handle seeing him. He said alot of mean stuff to mean over the last month i know what it was just to hurt me, i asked him why we broke up and what went on all he would say is that he wanted to be single for a while. does that mean he found someone new? i have always trusted him even working out of town. i had no reason not to. he would call me every night and we would talk hours on end becuase we missed each other. and this came so sudden. i am getting to that point were i dont sleep and when i do i crawl into bed at like 4:00 am and have to wake early so not much sleep and i barely eat maybe on emeal a day. i just dont know wha tto do anymore. help guys answer to to why he did this and why guys say mean stuff
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
What you need to do is to distance yourself from him completely. I know that it's incredibly difficult, and you will feel for a little what seems like unbearable pain, but you have no choice. Forget about whether or not he's with someone new. Noone who loves you would behave like that to you. If it hurts, it isn't love. That last statement is in direct contradiction of the at times overwhelming message of our culture which is that "if it DOESN'T hurt, it isn't love". It's all too easy to get carried away by the highs of angst, and believe me,you're in good company. Don't be fooled! Why not keep a step ahead of the culture , and refuse to be tricked. You'll be happier in the long run.
Right now, though, my concern is as much for your physical as for your emotional health. In your current emotional state, skipping meals is risky-it can lead to an eating disorder(seriously, I developed one myself just after a really rough breakup). People, especially but not exclusively women, becaome addicted to the high that results from skipping meals- the weight loss can also seem like a desirable side effect. Again, don't buy it. Anyone can be an angst-ridden waif. What you need is to be strong. Take up hobbies(sounds lame, but it works). Play sport, learn an instrument. Spend time with your friends. I know it's hard and that you have a full time job, but try to find the energy to pursue outside interests. Energy will be difficult to muster up if you don't eat(I sound like someone's over-anxious mother-someone slap me around the head).
In conclusion, if you can do nothing else, forget this loser. He isn't worth your making yourself ill.
Take care, and good luck.
Lucretia x.
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He didn't necessarily find someone else. It's a possibility, but I don't think that's the case. Spontaneous break ups like that can happen because the person has committment problems. He probably got scared and didn't know what else to do. You're in a really awful situation because whether he means to or not he's being very selfish. He's not thinking about your feelings at all. When you see him there are two things that you should do. Tell him how it's really hard for someone you've been so close to you for so long to just disappear out of your life completely. It's like they died. You'd really really like it if he would talk to you every once in awhile and kind of ease out of it more. You'll give him his space and his time, but it's kind of unfair that he isn't giving you anything. You're the one feeling all the hurt and he is the one with the problem. Don't be mean about it, be honest. Another thing you should do is ask really politely and nicely if you can maybe keep something of his to comfort you since you're now apart and to help you remember all the good memories that your relationship brought. Doing these two things will either really upset him or make him think a little. If it upsets him, well, things can't get much worse. Hopefully it will make him realize that running away from his problems doesn't fix them and he's going to leave a trail behind him full of pain, regret, and unfinished business. Sure his problems won't affect him anymore, but they'll always be there and pretty soon it will be too late to straighten things up and he'll regret it for the rest of his life. He's fixing the problem in the short term, but making it worse for himself in the long run. Even if you two don't end up together in the end, relationships do need some closure and it's always good to end it mutually and on good terms. It's okay to cry when you see him and it may help you feel a little better just to see his face. Don't try to force yourself on him, that's the one thing you don't want to do. If you are honest and tell him what you think and feel it could really help. Consider sending him a really well thought out e-mail or letter if he just runs away again. Oh, and it's a great thing that you two are giving each others' stuff back. A lot of the time that doesn't happen and it's a shame. It also shows that you two are on pretty good terms. After a month or so of missing you he shoud come around and eventually he will talk to you again even if it's too late. I really hope that things work out for you and I wish you the very best of strength, patience, and luck.
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I know it is hard when this happens and not all guys are like this. It just so happens that you got a bad one. He sould have been a little more tactful in the way he broke up with you. Just keep your head up and know that you deserve better than this. Get your things and keep your feelings in check and dignity intact while you are around him. (keep the tears for when you are alone) You will get through it and it will pass There are guys out there who will respect your feelings and act with a little more integrity.
I'm sorry you had your heart broken, it really sucks to go through that but it will get better and time heals.
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