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hello everyone i really needs anyones advice
hello i am new to this system so help me i am having problems with my girlfriend we have been together for 2years and 1month and im her first b.f, it all started when her best friend manipulated me into having sex with her after i cheated on my gf i swore and made a promise saying nothing will ever happen like that again, and its been the truth now all she wants is to argue she bafrely talks to me right now she asked for a break for no reason and she likes to hang out with her friends more even though she has been the best thing in my life and still is i want anyones opinion i really need help to figure her out!!!
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I do believe you care about your girlfriend but I have to admit, I can see her point of view. However sorry you might have said you are, no promises of not doing it again will ever be able to wipe the image of you with this other girl from her mind. Also, as much as I hate to say this, you simply cannot be manipulated into a situation that you do not at all want to be a part of and she will know this too. If you had been 100% against the idea, you wouldn't have done it. You say she has asked for a break for no reason but I'm sure that deep down you can appreciate that, at least to her, what you did is inexcusable and she may not be sure she can get over your betrayal, which, basically was what it was.
The only thing you can do now is to leave her alone for a while. Maybe speak to her one more time first and just say that you care a lot about her and can understand why she wants a break. Tell her that you really want to work through things and if she thinks she will want to change her mind, you'll wait for her. Right now, she probably needs the space to work out if she can cope with being with you after what has happened and there really will be nothing you can do ot say right now to persuade her to come back to you. So leave her to it, tell her you're there and you care about her and I'm afraid you will have to wait and see what happens.
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I've kind of been in your situation.
First you should try talking to her.
If that doesn't work then I think you two should have a break. A break doesn't mean you are breaking up, it just means that youll are giving each other some time to figure out things. Sometimes when you are to close to someone that can be a burden on the relationship.
That's what me and my girlfriend are doing and I think its helping. Because we are coming to understand and comprehend more where we stand with each other.
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Accually in a right sense, she has every right to be mad at you. From my point of view, when you cheat, that's it. If you truely cared about you girlfriend/ex, you wouldn't of done stuff with any other girl, and it being her best friend makes it that much worse. No one makes you do anything, you made the choice to cheat on her, and this is your consiquence. You need to realize that cheating is horrible andgives a sense to your partner that you don't care because you're out doing "stuff" with other girls/boys (for girls ovbiously.) You should sit her down, and tell her the exact truth of what happened and that you know it was wrong. I doubt she will forgive you after the talk, but she has lost her trust in you, and when you lose trust in a relationship, it goes downhill from there. Give her sometime, if you guys were meant to be, you'll eventually get back together.
Hope i helped.
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First: Trust is what builds relationships. If you've busted that then you're gonna have a hard time getting her back. She may say shes forgiven you, but don't think that means she's forgotten or that she trust you. Second: I have to say she needs to go on with her life without you. If you cheated for ANY reason, then she's better off finding someone else, period.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Her best friend manipulated me into having sex with her". Sorry mate, not good enough. Disregard Short N Punky, who tells you that your girlfriend is a stuck up bitch. She isn't a stuck up bitch, she's a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend, and who then blames the friend. What about taking some responsibility for yourself? So her best friend sounds like a bitch, but that doesn't mean that the sex between you was all her fault, which I'm sure you already know.
Basically, you're not going to win any favours by blameshifting-you need to grovel a little. You say that you've already assured your girlfriend that nothing like that will ever happen again-you now need to assure her yet again, this time taking your share of the blame. "Listen, (insert girlfriend's name), I know what (insert bff's name) and I did was wrong. It was especially stupid of me, since cheating on a partner is worse than cheating on a friend, but I really love you.....(you know the rest, as you've said it so many times before).
Girls lap up feminism, and loathe misogyny(that's hatred of women). If you seem like the kind that will cheat then blame the other woman, then no sensible girl will stay with you. The course of action I've outlined is your best shot-as Razhie says before me, there's not a lot you can do if it doesn't work, but you'll at least have tried.
Good luck!
Lucretia.
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She might be the best thing in your life but at the moment you clearly aren't the best thing in hers.
Asking for a break sounds to me like she wants out of this relationship and if that's the case you should sit down with her and ask her why. If you are paying attention then this shouldn't come out of the blue for you.
Ask her what the problems are and if there is anything the two of you can do to solve them, but she might simply want out, there isn't much you can do about that.
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Well pull her aside one of these days sit her down and tell her how it is.. from my point of view is what your saying she sounds liek a high maintenance stuck up person. But what do i know? anyways just sit her down and tell her you dont like the way shes been treating you and if she wants a break fine give it to her but reassure her that you wont wait forever and youll go out with other girls if you find someone different shes out. You have to be harder on her because the point im getting across is she thinks she has you tangled around her finger and that is why shes acting liek this because she thinks she can get away with anything and everything. It also kinda sounds like shes cheating on you but thats just what i think. Good luck blessed be and write me to tell me how it went id love to hear about it. Hope iv helped a little.
~*~ Short N Punky ~*~
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