about

My name is Angel, and I'm from northern California. I come from a large family where I'm the oldest, and I've lived a long, strange life. I have just about seen it all. In the last couple years, I have kicked a bad drug/alcohol addiction, and I can proudly say that I'm a sober teenage girl. I have a job, I'm a nanny/family assistant, whatever you want to call it. I'm a senior in high school, and I'm genuinely happy. I have a boyfriend, and we've been together for almost a year now. I have a lot of good advice, because I have a lot of life experience. I come from a broken family, I have step-relatives, and half-relatives. I just reunited with my mother after 10 years. My sister is a drug addict of the worst possible kind. I've been in all types of relationships. I guess it's safe to say that I know a little bit about a lot of things, and there's a lot that I know a lot about. Then there's things that I know nothing about, and that's when I ask questions. Thanks for reading my little rant, ask me anything. I check my email everyday, so if you can't reach me on my column, email me. ~Angel xoxo

advice

theres this little kid at school. maybe 4 years younger than me, im 16. Now this guy keeps gettin into our faces at lunch and laughin, proper being cheeky. from far, he laughs, and when we walk over to him, runs. His little friends are stupid aswell. now ive tried talking to him to him and tell him to shut his mouth, but he was "ok!" and once i let go of the guy, runs away doing some stupid laugh. im so close from hurting the guy, but he's so small and im proabably twice his size, what should i so? dont tell me to "tell the teacher's" because im not going to tell off a little kid who's annoying me. should i just smack the guy across the face or something? or what? its getting really bloody stupid as every lunch he's outside the shop we go to get lunch! any help?

Don't let him get to you. If he sees that he isn't bothering you anymore, he'll stop, because it'll take the fun out of it for him. Don't give him the power to affect you the way he does. Just simply ignore him. It's hard because we, as humans, get real egotistical and want to smack people around when they bother us. Just be the bigger person and ignore him, even if he's right in your face, just pretend he isn't there. It sounds totally lame, but it's better than wasting your energy smacking him just to get in trouble for it later. Good luck, stay strong. ~Angel

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okay this problem has been hearsince i was born. my mom divorced my dad and left my 4 siblings with him. i wasw about 6 months old when we left for nc to live with my grandma because she couldn't afford living on her own. while we lived there she neverm ade any friends or had anything to do with our family there besides my grandma. Since she had nobody all she had was me and she was stuck up my butt and would get mad if i wanted to go to a friends house or anything without her.so i didn't go places very often. she is also an alcoholic.She get really violent and she has also done a whole bunch of drugs. she would diappear for a wee or 2 at a time. she got caught and when she recovered she was stuck up my butt even worse. i had to start just leaving because other wise i would not have been able to do anything at all. well my mom's job trasfered her to a new town and her i am. we are close to my dad and them but she still is so far up my but and she is always right there when i wanna go somewhere. put it this way. i only have been to my friends house once and i had to fight to go. the only other place i have been is my sisters. she has started to drink again and she is getting to be unberable i can't do anything without her right there i'm 15 and i can't even go to my friends house. i don't want to live with her anymore but i can't live with my dad. he can't afford it. my sister is a sinlge mom with 2 kids so she can't afford me either. i don't know what to do i am terriable unhappy and i want to go back to nc. there are people there who could take me in but i can't leave because i need permission for my mom.and someone would have to buy me a ticket home. what do i do? i can't hardly take her anymore. i feel like i am in a prison. i have told her a million time but it never helps. What should i do?

Right off the bat, I would suggest going to Al-Anon. Look it up online and find meetings in your area. It's for family and friends of alcoholics, it will help you love and tolerate your mother, while you're still in her care. You're 15, so you can't really go anywhere without her permission. You could suggest that she go to Alcoholics Anonymous, and start a sober lifestyle, she could make friends there, and become a better person all-around. If you tell her she needs help, she may considerate because from what it sounds like, you're her only friend. You need to have patience with her. If she really has alcoholism, then treat her like she is sick, because alcoholism is a disease. You have to be loving and tolerant even if it hurts. Check out Al-Anon, or find some sort of support group. You'll find that it helps a whole lot to know that other people are going through what you're going through. Good luck hun, if you need any more advice leave one in my inbox, or send me an email. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I can give you more of my contact information. ~Love Angel

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okay so i met my boyfriend about 7 years ago and hes two years older hen me, we didnt decide to start dating until july of 07. lately he yells at me alot and trys telling me what i can and cannot do and he even has other girls before me on his myspace page, i dont know what to do. For christmas he bought me a very expencive necklace and told me he wanted to be with me for a long time and everytime i accuse him of being a player he says "if i was playin you i wouldnt of bought u anything and we wouldnt have been together for this long" [he has a bad history of being a player] so what should i do? how do i know if hes cheating? and should i leave him?

What I would do for your own sake and self-respect is set boundaries. Don't let him tell you what you can and cannot do, that's controlling. You have to set boundaries for yourself and simply say, "I'm not comfortable doing/not doing that." You'll find that he'll respect you a lot more later on.

As far as myspace goes, it's myspace. If he's cheating on you through myspace he's not even worth your time. But as far as knowing if he's cheating on you or not, there's no way of "knowing." If he can't be honest with you about it [which would be hard for him I'm sure] then you have a couple of choices. You can break up with him just because you had doubt in his loyalty, or you could stay with him and set boundaries for yourself.

People say "once a player, always a player." Well, I believe people do change. You might be the girl that takes the player out of the game, you know what I mean. You just have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if he's worth keeping around. Maybe he's not mature enough for someone like you. I think that once you've gotten some good advice, and a clear head, you should have a serious conversation with him, without arguing, and just tell him how you're feeling and what it is you want, and what you want from him. If he is willing to respect your wishes, then give him another chance [that's just my advice. do what you do], if he wants to argue, then don't waste your time. You can't change him, he has to be willing to change. This is just my personal opinion, if you didn't like what I have to say there are plenty of people with a lot of different opinions, but I hope you do what's right for you. Good luck and keep me posted hun. ~Love Angel

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My boyfriend and I have been having terrible sex. When we first started it was amazing...now it sucks. Well do you have any advice to get things a little more interesting? What types of roleplay do you suggest? How is the best way to play out those roleplays? Any other kinky ideas? Please explain the roleplays and other things. Not like complete details, but what I will need and how to start it. Also is there something we can do before sex and roleplaying to know each others bodies better that might help when actually having sex?

As far as roleplaying goes. It's not really roleplay, but men love appreciation. Build up his ego, make him feel good, emotionally. It has a lot more to do with sex than you would think.

Something I would suggest: Dress up for him, if you don't want to go out and buy sexy lingerie, then put on his favorite pair of your underwear, and match it with whatever you got. Get dressed up, makeup, hair, heels, whatever you're into. Then do a something like a strip tease, and take total control of the sex. Men don't always like to be in control.

Ask him what his fantasies are, if you guys have been together for a while. It's a touchy subject, so be open, no weird faces, and don't immediately reject anything. Tell him some of your fantasies too. Try to fulfill those fantasies. They could be as simple as having sex in a hammock or something. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, if that's not what you're into.

Do some reading. It sounds really really lame, but your boyfriend will appreciate it if you pick up on some tips and tricks from a legitimate source.

If you want to have better sex, then you can have better sex. It's not upto your boyfriend to figure out how, do it yourself. Experiment with it, find out what you guys like, and don't be shy. Play around, it can be very pleasing for both of you. Good luck. If you have any more questions feel free to leave one in my inbox.
~Love Angel

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ive been going out with my gf for 11 months.(15 yrs old) mostly things are good and then theres sometimes we have our fights, but who doesnt? i will admit im a little insecure at times and times when i get insecure are the times i wished i was single again when i have no one (girlfriend) to worry about. their parents like me my parents like her. its really hard to explain but for the most part everythingg is good but i guess when i start to think i miss the single days. should i be feeling any of this when mostly things are so good? if anyone my age has had a long relationship like this and broke up please explain...i also feel like i shouldnt break up because its been so long. any help will do, thanks.:-)

Before I answer this question, I have to say that I'm pro relationships. But with an unbias opinion, I would say that you're young. You're not supposed to know what you want at this age. You have to follow your heart on this one. If you break up, that means that you don't get to cuddle with her, smell her hair, all the little things you appreciate would be gone. Put your insecurities aside for a minute. Would you honestly be happier single? If you answer yes, then you know what to do. My personal opinion; once you've been with someone for so long, something small like an insecurity [and that is small in the long run] isn't worth breaking up over. It's normal to miss being single. As human beings we always want what we don't have, right now you don't have the freedom of a single 15 year old. You just have to make your decision based on your happiness, not what she wants, not what your friends tell you. Once again, you guys have been together for almost a year, is there anything really worth breaking up with her over at this point? It sucks having these thoughts when you're in a relationship, but I hope you make the decision that's right for you. Good luck, keep me posted. ~Angel

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me and my long term boyfriend just broke up. and i'm taking it really hard. even to the point where i take it out on my mom. i really want to move on but i don't know how to. can some one please give me some help?! cause if i don't move on, i know i'll end up self-destructing myself.

You have to keep yourself busy. Just find something to do, take life an hour at a time. It's as simple as, "Ok, what am I going to do in the next hour?" Then once you've done that, move on to the next hour. It's hard going through a breakup, but you'll get through it. Just keep yourself busy, and try to take your mind off of him for a while. Try to do something nice for three other people. The more you help others, the less it's about you and the more it's about them. Do something nice for 3 people for nothing in return. What's the worst that could happen? Good luck hun. Take care of yourself. I'm here if you need anyone to talk to. ~Love Angel

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ok so heres the deal i am a big tomboy i love sports and video games and everything like that but my mom thinks that if i contenue to be a tomboy im going to be lesbian gosh i have had a crush on a few boys and i have never had a crush on a girl my whole intier life all it is, is i think that boys clothes are more confertable then girls clothes and i like sports so i always wear my hair back in a pony tail and i wear a hat all the time because me and my dad go golfing almost everyday ok thats all it is its not because i have crushes on girls or anything its just because its who i am thats it so what should i tell my mom the next time she gives me the i dont want you to date a girl talk. i am not intrarested in girls at all ok i do have a crush on a boy and i hate all the girls do you know why its because they all think im freaks and i have no one to talk to when that "speacil" guy comes around or if i have a problem or if i want somthing a boy cant help me with like when im having my period and my mom dosnt have any pads i cant go and ask a boy if they have any i want one friend thats a girl but i dont want a girlfriend but i dont realy want a boyfriend either but i do like them as friends and crushes but what do i tell my mom when she gives me that really stupid i dont want you to date a girl talk again i dont want to have to sit through that what do i tell her please help

Well it doesn't matter who you're interested in, boys, girls, whatever. Your mother should just love you for who you are, not who you have a crush on. Tell her that it hurts your feelings when she comes to you with her speech on dating a girl. If she doesn't want to believe you, or respect your wishes, then she should really just mind her own business until she can respect yours. As far as having friends that are girls, girls are very catty I find. They only like their kind for the most part, so find some chicks you can relate to, it's hard to do that at school and stuff where everyone can be so judgemental. It's rough, but good luck. I hope I helped. ~Love Angel

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13/f

Okay, so me nad this guy like each other. Sounds simple right? Just go out? One problem. I don't date because I have this thing where I DO NOT trust guys. My last relationships sucked, so... And, I don't know why he doesn't date. But, I know I can trust him. I mean, he's sweet. Nice and everything... I mean, perverted, but that's me too. We're both perverted. Like, ya know? Dirty jokes? No, I would not have sex with him even if I wanted to. *shudders* Anyway, I just want to know what I should do at this point. I mean, he knows I like him. I know he likes me. We're both aware of this, but what do we do? Can somebody NICE please help me?

p.s I mean nice as in, nice advice. And, no comments about being perverted. That's me, not you. I am me. :3

Well, it sounds like you're much too mature to give most guys the time of day. Seeing as how you don't trust any of them, which is very mature of you. Most women have trust issues with men. If there's something telling you that you should go for this guy, do it, what do you have to lose? If I learned anything about being 13, I learned that it doesn't matter who you dated, who you were friends with, any of that, because it will all change with time. Just have fun, you don't need to marry this guy and grow up and have kids with him, you're 13 you can go out with him and just have fun. And if things don't work out, then he wasn't Mr. Right anyways. Good luck, keep me posted! ~Love Angel

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15/f/freshman

kay so i have a boyfriend and we've been dating for about 3 months. it's not that long i know but is it bad that like i don't tell him everything and i know things about him but like not everyyything? it seems like everytime i see someone being a couple they know everrything about eachother and tell them everyyyything. i'm kinda shy and new to the whole actual dating and going places with a boyfriend so i get kinda nervous around him but it's gotten way better. also we started "dating" like a few days after we met so i think we're still developing in our relationship a lot. thats not bad right? and i love him but i'm not "in love" with him you know like it's a friend love but a little more then that.

another question, like i said i get nervous and like can't think of what to talk about around him because i'm so afraid that i'm going to sound dumb. i'm really insecure. how do should i attempt to break that shell?

i don't know, i think it might be better now that i have lunch with him next semester, so anyone who helps, thanks a ton, i mean it =]

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and we don't know everything about each other yet. You've only been with your boyfriend for three months, you shouldn't know everything about him by now, if you did, there would be no interesting element of your relationship, you would have nothing to talk about. Sometimes what me and my boyfriend do is we will actually set time aside from our friends and jobs and stuff and we'll go get coffee and talk about ourselves and get to know eachother, like a date, but we've been in a relationship for a long time.

It's not bad to get into a relationship with someone you just met, chances are this wont be permanent, although I hate to be a pessimist, hardly anything lasts forever these days.

As far as being insecure goes, I have that same problem. I always feel like my boyfriend's going to judge me or think I'm stupid. Tell your guy how you feel, tell him you don't want to sound stupid, you never know. Maybe he'll think that's cute about you, or maybe he feels the same way. You say you guys don't know each other well enough. Just flat out tell him one day, "I don't know what to talk about sometimes because I'm afraid I'll sound stupid."

Insecurities are a derivative of fear. That is to say, you're insecure because there is some fear behind your insecurity. For me, I don't like to open up because I'm afraid the real me isn't good enough. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm good enough. Try doing that. Maybe write on your mirror "[YOUR NAME] You're Amazing!" It sounds cheesy, but it totally works for me and everyone I've advised to do the same. Sorry my response was so long. If you need any relationship advice, leave me one in my inbox. Take care and good luck love. Keep me posted. -Angel

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how can i get a bigger butt??
lol
15/f
my news years resolution is to gain weight this year
and my friend said i have no butt
so now i want one..lol...

Well in order to gain weight what you want to do is eat. I'm not saying you don't eat, but I would reccommend eating more fatty [not bad fatty] foods. For example, incorporate more oil in your diet (salad dressing etc). Also, proteins are good for gaining healty weight. Any kind of meat, nuts, beans. I had my boyfriend on a weight gaining diet, and he ate a lot of carbs and salads, with avocado in it that's good too.

As far as exercises go, I would suggest squats, although those are tedious and kinda suck, that will do the trick. Then there's this exercise I like where you get on your hands and knees, and you raise your leg up and back, pointing your toes, then hold it for a couple seconds, and repeat with the other leg. I like to do it 20-30 times a day. Also, remember to stretch and always eat protein after you work out. Good luck! Hope I helped -Angel

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the first time i almost had sex was two weeks ago. my boyfriend and i decided i was ready, so he tried to put his penis in, but it didn't go. it hurt when he tried to push it in too. so we just gave up on that. i've had my period since i was 11, so i don't know why it didn't go in. he's really tall and skinny, so his penis is quite thin too. helpp?!?!

Losing your virginity is definitely painful. If you can't seem to work things out the first time, next time you might want to get some lubrication or something. Another thing that might work, let him finger you, first with one finger, then two. That way your muscles aren't so tense when you're ready to have sex. Make sure to use protection, good luck! -Angel

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I don't know what the area is called...but its like righttt above my butt, but below my back...but what is a good exercise to work that??
THANKS!!

What I do to work my lower back is what I call backward crunches. If you can imagine that, they have structures at the gym where basically you lean all the way forward, and then come up, like a crunch, but backwards. I like to hold a medicine ball when I do this exercise for extra resistance. It's very simple. Then to get love handles, you would do the same exercise, but sideways. I hope that made sense, leave me one in my inbox if you have any questions. Good luck! -Angel

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i'm tanning for winterball on saturday, and yesterday i went for the first time for 4 minutes. it didn't make too much of a difference, just a base color and a little bit in my face.
i'm going again tomorrow and i think i should do 6 minutes, they maybeee 8 (max) on saturday.
thing is i don't want to get burnt but i also don't want to waste money by not getting any color, so how long should i tan for? (stand up booth, btw not laying down)

and no, i don't want a detailed explanation on the effects of tanning, i already know. this is a special occasion thing.

It really all depends on your skin tone. I have skin that tans real easily and never burns. What I would suggest for you however, is to go in a low bed tomorrow for 8 minutes, [assuming that you're using a tanning lotion]. Then on saturday, try a medium bed for 4-6 minutes, or the low bed for 10. I don't know where you tan or any of that, but if you can get some lotion to use when you go tanning, I reccommend spellbound, it's a tinted lotion that smells really good. They should have sample lotions there too which are fun. Good luck and have a blast at winterball! -Angel

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Hey, My friend is having a tough time convincing her mother she's still a virgin (she's not).. but the problem is that the boy.. well man.. is 24 and she's 16. But, anyway, that's not the issue at stake. She was thinking about telling the gyno that her hymen was broken by a tampon, not a penis. But I'm not even sure if that's possible. Can it be broken by a tampon? Also, can being fingered break it?

Thanks so much
xo

Your friend is going to have to tell the doctor the truth. They are required to keep patient confidentiality by law, so her mother wont find out. However, it's bad hiding things like losing your virginity from mom anyways. But if I was 16 and my boyfriend was 24, I wouldn't want anyone to know we were having sex either. To answer your question though, hymens are very fragile and can be broken easily with a tampon or a finger. What your friend should be worried about is her 24 year old boyfriend getting in trouble with the law for having sex with a child. Well good luck, and I hope things work out for your friend. -Angel

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Ok so I'm a senior in highschool and I go to a voke and I take childcare. I'll start with that. I don't want to be a preschool teacher when I graduate though. I want to be a nanny , but how do I get a job like that. Where would I start. Please help I'm confuzed on what I have to do or where I start. And I'm only 17 and I'm going to be 17 when I graduate , if that matter. Thanksss in advance.

Well, I'm a nanny, and I'm 17. I got my job through my younger siblings actually. Their friend's dad needed a "family assistant," and I quit the job I had before, and I've been a nanny for almost 6 months. Enough about me though. In order to be a nanny, you have to have excellent references, a lot of experience, and there are some certifications you have to get. It's not an easy job to get into. Depending on how much you intend on charging, it could be really difficult finding a job right away. Check with your school. Oftentimes there will be job postings [I know there were at my school] and a lot of people are looking for nanny/babysitters. You have to look around, ask around, and keep your eyes and ears open. Put yourself out there and you should be able to find something. Good luck! -Angel

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Ok so in two days we have EQAO and then next week we have exams. I'm looking for nutritional breakfasts that are pretty big that I can eat for those days to increase some brain capacity and is hopefully not indigestable. THanks

You want to eat some sort of protein, for long-term energy. I don't eat big breakfasts, I hardly eat breakfast at all, so something I would try would be a bagel, with some cream cheese, and some meat, my personal preference being salami, or turkey. You also want carbs for short-term energy, that's why I suggested a bagel. I reccommend instead of eating large meals, it's healthier to eat several snacks throughout the day. Maybe between tests have a handful of almonds and some water. Protein is really good on test days I've found. You would be fine with just about anything. Hope I helped. Good luck. -Angel

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What would I be called if I believed in God (singular), but didn't recognize any sort of prophet or holy book?



Thanks.

I've always called myself agnostic. I believe in God, or some higher power, but I don't read any sort of literature. I don't even go to church, I just believe that there is a God, of my own understanding. I call that agnostic, which means that you are willing to believe that there is a divine power, but I call myself agnostic even with my beliefs. You can call yourself whatever you want, it's your faith.

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I got my hair cut about 2 weeks ago and i hate it. my hair used to be really long but now its like sholder length and thats to short for me. I also have these really anyoing angles in my hair too. Is there anyway to make my hair grow faster and even out my angles? thanks in advance!

There is hair growth pills and whatnot, from what I've heard, the ones at Target work. I wouldn't reccommend them myself though. Everyone always says this, and it never seems to be true, but if you trim your hair regularly it WILL grow back faster. What happens is your hair gets split ends, and if you don't trim your hair, your hair will spend all of it's growing on the split ends, trying to fix them, so your hair doesn't grow. So what I would reccommend, try using a split end treatment, I use bed head and garnier [both of them] when I get out of the shower. I just recently cut off my super long hair too, but in the last couple weeks it looks like it's gaining a little more length. Good luck, hope I helped! -Angel

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Soo I bought the tan from the bottle (Jergen's Body Tanning Lotion or something like that -- it's not spray on...) and it says I'll have results after one (1) week. So I have 3 questions:
*After a week, should I STOP using it
*If I continue using it, will I keep getting darker, or will it just stop
&*How long before it fades away?
You don't have to answer all three... ANY help/advice would be appreciated!!

if you use a lotion like that and you keep using it you will stay the same color, like for example. If you got the jergen's fair skin tan lotion, you keep using that and you might stay a shade darker, but if you were to start using the jergen's dark skin tan lotion, then you would get maybe a shade darker than that. hope i helped. -Angel

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i have this problem i hate letting people get to close and whatever and i really dont like many people but everytime i like somebody i always have to like the people i cant have eigther there taking or i just cant have them and it drives me insane it hurts so much to like somebody really like somebody and you just cant have them help if you can

you could definitely be taking this situation way better. the right person will find you when it's right. it's so corny and ridiculous-sounding but it's true. as for not letting people get close, i know how you feel. it's hard to open up to people when you have trust issues. i try to mask my trust issues by being really outgoing and meeting people and talking to them about more impersonal stuff, like why i look so crazy today or how i got this stain on my shirt. i'm not totally sure if it helps. you can only get close to someone if you open up to them and endear yourself to them and if they do the same. it's a two-way street kind of thing. i'm not sure if i helped, but feel free to leave one in my inbox if you want any more advice. -Angel

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