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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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up to 15 or 16 age my wife didn't get matured so her mom taken to near by gynecology hosp she gave some tablets then she got date .. later also she used tablets for getting date till now she didn't got naturally only through tablets ... kindly tell me now she can get pregnancy ?????
Not being her Dr. I don't know what was in those prescriptions she took, but usually if females don't start their period, they are low on female hormones that come with puberty and the pills can help bring them to a normal balance so their period starts. Along with the bleeding once a month, another part of the cycle is a fertile egg being released. It's harder to not know if there is some issues there that will prevent her from becoming pregnant, assuming you want to try for a child. If thats the case and it's not working, the Dr may refer you both to a fertility specialist for testing.
Yes, there is another prescription that can occur with females, usually who have already gotten their period, but it's either extremely heavy bleeding or very irregular once out of their teens and thats when Dr.s tend to recommend birth control pills as it tends to stabalize the period to help it become a normal monthly cycle. So if she is on birth control pills and you want to have a child but when she comes off them, she doesnt have a cycle, again that would be for a fertility expert to check up on.
If you are wanting to know if she can get pregnant while taking this medication, and don't want to have a child right now, then you better find out ASAP what kind of pills she's taking. Ask her. If she doesn't know, read the name off the bottle and look it up on line, better yet, call her Dr. If she is on anything other than birth control pills, there is a possibilty of her becoming pregnant, a great one, unless she is partially or totally infertile, which can't be known until again specialists have seen her.
If you don't want children right now, and she is taking a birth control pill, then theres nothing to worry about, she can't become pregnant as long as she takes it daily at the same time each day and doesnt skip days by forgetting.
Hey everyone, 18/f here
Background:
So, the cliche "best friend is in love with me" story happened to me. He's been my bestie for about two years, almost three. He's heard me out when I ranted about other guys, when I cried over getting cheated on, when I was stressed because I had to keep my grades up, and everything else. These past two months we talked more than usual, and I ended up catching feelings for him. I thought he just saw me as a friend but he confessed to having feelings for me for about a year. All our mutual friends knew except me, go figure. So we're dating and it's been great.
There's just one little problem. He's such a gentleman in so many ways and I love that. He wants to get married, buy a house, settle down. He believes that sex should only occur after marriage and while I think it's amazing that there's still men who think this way, I'm not sure I agree with him. He's catholic, not extremely religious but his beliefs are very old-fashioned. I am atheist, and I don't believe in marriage. While we're just teenagers, it seems like that could bring problems in the future. He knows what I am, and he's never said anything negative. The point is, I can't stop thinking about him in "unpure ways". It makes me feel silly to put it that way, but I keep having weird dreams and daydreams about him a in sensual/sexual way. It's starting to become a little obssesive. I mean, he doesn't even touch me other than holding my hand sometimes but that still makes me get all hot and bothered. We're both virgins, but I've had sexual contact with my ex. Could this be way I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend this way?
Thats not perversity, that's normal. There is such as thing as deal breakers in a relationship, one being one wants kids the other says never, spiritual beliefs/or lack of extremely important to each, neither will change (and all the ways that affects ones life), one having a high libido, the other a low one.
In your case Theres conflict already on beliefs and sex and its related.
Once you hit puberty, the hormones in your body that have the ability to make you respond in sexual excitement at the sight of someone appealing, or their nearness is what happens first, and if seeing the person day in and day out with the same sexual responses, they are only going to grow. You didn't even mention kissing.
I used to attend church and knew of two couples who married and anulled marriage shortly after as they never had sex. One was so bad that the bride fainted when the priest said it was time to kiss the bride cus it would've been their first kiss ever. All they'd done is hold hands. While it is important for teens to understand how to be responsible and use condoms and birthcontrol if they are going to have sex, our culture has changed much and women don't need to remain a virgin so a man can know if the child she gives birth to is his or not, we have paternity testing that is very accurate. Other than than theres no reason to abstain from sex. I married as a virgin only to discover than other than the first couple times of excitement to experience with him, for both of us, that New Relationship energy wore off and neither of us in the long run were ever sexually aroused by the other because of lack of chemistry. I discoverd he also had a low libido, could get along with very little, and even if I never orgasmed, i wanted it often. THIS is a bad area to have no clue about each other in. So if you're happy dating him now as a teen, do so, but when you become an adult, you may want to talk again and see if he really believes what he says he believes, a very active Catholic who isn't just doing and practicing it simply cus thats how he was raised, thats not a strong enough conviction. With my experience, I am all for young people having sexual experience during their late teens through their 20s before marriage to learn enough about themselves.You can at your age know for certain what your 'religious' status is, then its just a matter of learning about the other things that might be a deal breaker. Some Christians can have deeply held emotional responses of guilt or remorse even when married and having sex. I know many adults who were messed up that way and confided in me as the husband and i were one of the couples who ran a weekly fellowship meeting in our home. I guess they felt safer confessing to us than a pastor.
Good healthy relationships are built on two things, being each others best friend, and being each others sexual equal. An old fashioned custom of handfasting was a way for couples to experience marriage and domestic partnership in a way that was formal and binding for only a year. Once the year had passed, they then decided to renew the contract for another year or had learned in that time that there were irreconcilable differences between them and they split up and moved on to seeing others. This year included having sex and any children that resulted from it. I highly doubt he'd go for that either, but in my opinion, it's one of the best things that ever was as far as couples are concerned.
Hello.
I'm looking for some advice. This involves my neighbour down the street, she lives like 20 houses away on a little crescent just off of my street. My street is also a crescent, but it's a whole street long. The crescent she lives on ain't very big - about 7 or 8 houses and is going around an "island" which was bush surrounded by red bricks. All the kids in my neighbourhood (which isn't much btw) used to play on that island and hangout. There were 8 girls who lived pretty much next door to each other on that crescent and who all spent a lot of time together. I'll get more to the story but that's where I met this girl.
When I was really little I met some of these girls. For the sake of anonymity, I'll call her Lilly. Me and Lilly were really young but I still remember helping her up after she fell on her tricycle. She gave me this look, like I was her hero. It was weird. Anyways, I've got 3 younger brothers and she's got a younger sister. The girl next to her has no siblings, and there were two other sets of siblings that lived near there. The older we got, the more my brothers and I quarrelled with these girls and their families over the freedom to play there. There was one day where we all had an argument there, but she stayed there in the back (she's always been shy) just staring at me. And it's random, but I fell in love with her. I learned to brush off the things said to me and in time they stopped hating me and started just hating my siblings and our friends. In time, all the fighting stopped.
It would be for the next few years (3-4 years I think) where no more fighting occurred. Every time I rode by the island on my bike she'd be getting into her van and she'd be staring me down. Hard. It never stopped there either. I didn't see her for a few years (as weird as that sounds) till high school. I ended up in her drama class. The same night, I got a friend request from her and her friend on Facebook. She flirted with me over Facebook and her friends (ALL of them) knew my name. Her guy friends told me that she'd say yes if I asked her to semi-formal (she got really nervous I think and said no when I asked her) and her girlfriends were telling me she loved me. Admittedly, she did nothing but stare me down throughout all of grade 10 (I was homeschooled beforehand) and high school.
Then it stopped. She deleted me from Facebook and stopped talking to me during the last half of grade 10. She's never given me a reason and refuses to talk about it. Her friends all tried to get to know me in grade 12 - 2 years after all this happened. I've been in love with this girl since grade 5! I've graduated college and I'm going into law, but I still think about her all the time. I still see her too. Her sister, even now, still adores me, and her parents have had conversations with me and they love me.
I heard from someone years ago she thinks I'm creepy but she never has acted like I am. I messaged her twice when I got drunk and asked to talk over coffee but she never replied - but she never blocked me either. I've never had her friends tell me to back off or tell me anything negative so I can't tell what's happening.
The few questions I have are...
* Do you think she has ever had feelings for me?
* Do you think she's worth trying to get?
* How can I get over her? I've tried EVERYTHING but nothing has worked, not even a little bit. I've loved this girl for about 13 years now. I was 10 when I fell for her and I'm now almost 23. She's a year younger than I am.
Can someone please help me? I can't get this girl out of my head, no matter how hard I try. If she really hated me, she'd tell me to piss off and/or block me. Why hasn't she done this yet? I'm dying inside...:(
When you say has feelings, it may be different than what I consider 'feelings' to mean. And it will differ depending on the age. When I think of feelings for a person, I am not even using the word, instead the word I use is 'attraction'. A young kid can feel attracted to another kid more on a friendship level, a curiosity level. From puberty on, when we are attracted to a person and actually 'feeling' something, usually those initial feelings of interest are largely based on a physiological response in yourself to visual stimuli. The other senses, besides sight play a part, you might like the sound of her laugh, the scent of her perfume, but visual is the biggest. There is no one who will consider dating someone they are not attracted to, where they are not 'feeling' the sped up heart beat, butterflies in stomach, heart doing somersaults, breathing changing, finding it hard to speak to the person all of a sudden--tongue tied, feeling the blood begin to pool as sexual organs are aroused, feeling tingling down there, getting wet.
Next would come a surface level of knowledge about a person from seeing them often either in the neighborhood, at school or at work. For example, from simply observations, I learned a coworker of mine who brought leftovers for lunch liked to cook the same recipe I did, something not well known, called drop noodle soup. This kind of knowledge we can pick up tells us if we have some things in common but its still not enough to know whether a person is going to be right for us in a long term relationship, that can't be learned well until hanging out with them 24/7 which won't happen if the other doesnt have a strong attraction to you and willingness to check you out on a deeper level. She's older now. So ask her out. She turned you down for a dance once. The only way you can know if she ever had feelings is to get her talking and ask.
Is she or is anyone worth trying for? Hey, it kinda depends on you and what you are looking for in a girl. Sometimes we dont know that until we have dated around a while and come to discover things we like or don't like. There are some things that can become deal breakers to a relationship, like one being communicative and outgoing the other silent and introvert, one having a high libido, the other low, one wanting kids one day, the other not wanting them at all and being of radically different spiritual beliefs if very active in them. From what you say, it sounds like you have never dated because of interest only in her.
How to kill this interest in her and move on? Well, you will always have memories of her and can't erase this from your mind or wondering the what ifs, but you can start to date and the day you find the one you want to be with forever who is very special to you, she should outshine the memories of what you had of this girl. The real life relationship will help your attention switch to focus on that what you have in front of you rather to focus on what you think you might have had and never maybe had a realistic chance of getting. What if this girl is bi or gay and her friends dont even know? She might not be likely to date any guy simply for not being attracted that way or as a bi, afraid a guy wont understand and so does nothing.
Me and my boyfriend argued alot so when me an him sawveach other her just took control.... I wanted it but he didnt want to go buy condoms so we did it raw. He pulled out before he cummed but i think i might be pregnant its been five days since we had intercourse and it stings when I peen i have a lot does that mean im pregnant??
You waited too long for the morning after pill, should be taken within 72 hrs/3days after having unprotected sex or rape. There is enough sperm in the drops of precum at the tip of his penis before he ejaculates to get a girl pregnant.
I dont think there is a test that can be taken that soon to determine pregnancy as the body won't produce the hormones that indicate pregnancy until a fertilized egg has attached to the uterus wall and it can take a bit longer than 5 days, up to 7 for it to get there.
If you have stinging or burning or itching with an urge to go pee more often, this would mean a UTI,(urinary tract infection) which can lead to bladder infection.
For this reason, Ive read that it is advised that the male give the female several orgasms before entering her as the orgasms will close off access to the bladder. I didn't even learn that until 10 years ago and I'm in my 50s.
There can be germs on the penis that get forced into the urinary tract or from there to the bladder.
As the other advice giver mentioned, there is something seriously wrong if a guy doesn't respect you enough to use a condom.
A boy fucking in ass whole will a girl get pregnant..
A ddiagram of the internals of a female body may be helpful for you to look up online after i tell you this so YOU don't have to just take my word for it:
the intestinal tract, which is where your solid waste leaves through, coming out your ass hole, has no internal connection to your vagina or your womb. sperm can't get to your vagina that way, only from an approach directly to the vagina somewhere on the lips where cum or precum is deposited, or with precum on the fingers when fingers go to play with the lips or go inside the vagina. Do NOT believe what your peers tell you because they know as little as you do, only pretending to know.
ok so i am 13 a girl so my boyfriends wants to have sex with me and basically wants to finger me and stuff and im ready like i have my moments where im in that mood, but the question is how do i prepare for it, and can i just leave the top of my vagina have hair but like a shade of it (not hairy lol no!)
Its personal preference dear. I was already cutting my pube hairs short as a teen cus they got stuck to dried fluid that cleans the vagina on a daily basis and collects in the panty or panty liner. Everytime I pulled down panties, hairs got yanked on, yanked out and I got tired of that. Some shave and do all or some. If you are not extremely hairy, there may be no reason to shave at all. The only thing I can think of that some people don't like is ending up with loose pubic hairs from their partner in their mouth. Not so much cus it's gross, but rather it's annoying, like having an eyelash stuck somewhere in your eye. When one has to keep stopping giving oral to fish out another hair for the fourth time, it can tend to kill the mood.
If a boy have a Std and he eats you will u get it
If the male is a carrier of the herpes I, which is the cold sores outbreak around the mouth, you can catch that. Most people while having a herpes outbreak find it painful enough to not want to kiss or have intercourse depending which one they have so its rarely passed on at that stage, its passed on earlier when there are no signs. The virus travels up the nerves from where it sits in limbo for some time and once reaching the surface of the skin, the virus can be transfered if contact with the invisable virus occurs between the two. A person can be a carrier of the herpes virus without ever having an outbreak in their life. I have on 3 different occasions asked different Drs. if their STD screening included checking to see if I am a carrier for herpes. I was told, no they don't check because at this point, the majority of the population have it, or rather are carriers and keep transfering it more people without ever having their 1st outbreak of sores to know they have it. I asked to have the test for it anyways and it came up positive that I am a carrier. My husband is a carrier for the oral version. So we pay close attention and if our skin feels even just irritated or sore or a chafed feeling before an outbreak, we wait two more days to see if anything developed. Most people don't pay such close attention to their bodies.
So even if someone you decide to have sex with has had screening to be clear of STD's he could still be a carrier for Herpes unless he actually asked to be tested for it. Theres no way for you to know. And yes, you can get other STD's from just oral. I knew a couple who tried swapping partners for the first time and they already had reservations when meeting the other couple, never did anything but oral sex and developed an STD they got treated for . The girlfriend told me sine I was divorced and now dating and wanted me to be informed to be safe. The only 100% safe way is for both partners to have total testing done, including for herpes beforehand.
So, I'm a teenager, and my parents seem happy together. They go places together and talk, but... Well, first off, they don't sleep in the same bed. My mom has three dogs who like sleeping with her, so she sleeps on the couch with them. My dad sleeps in the bed alone because the dogs annoy him when they crowd the whole bed. Is this weird? Also, I know this'll sound weird, but they never have sexual intercourse. I know it's none of my business, but I know for a FACT that they haven't done anything of the sort since I was, like, born... I'd know if they did, LOL. Since they're never alone in a room with the doors shut or whatever, and they're just never... Alone. Except for when they talk and are at the store, but I know that my parents aren't intimate. There's honestly no way. Is this weird? I've brought it up a few times jokingly, and my mom says because she's too busy or whatever. It's kinda concerning.
My parents after 4 kids had no sex life. What they were is each others best friend though. I ended up in first marriage with a guy who not only wasn't my best friend but we were sexually mismatched and didn't have sex often. So I wondered how common that was. I was really close with coworkers in my department, all married with children. I began to ask questions only to discover that none of them had sex any more and only one could claim the husband was at least like a good friend. Worse yet, none of them had ever enjoyed sex either. So why do so many people married who don't have sex? I can't say why for them but I suspect my personal answer from my experience will just about cover it for 99% of those who are married but don't have sex. The reason I ended up married to someone I had a horrible sex life with is simply as a young person, not having enough experience, being too naive, not having a clue what i wanted in a guy or what I didn't, and not having enough personal power and confidence to lay down the rules and boundaries of the relationship, which if he didn't meet, then I'm out of there. I had no idea of what the signs were that a guy was a great match, nor what the signs were that there were issues with him. Now much older and looking back, I can see that the clues were there, to not choose him and marry.
two things make a solid foundation for a marriage, one being best friends and the other being each others sexual equal, having chemistry.
If the sex is missing and both have low libidos or after some time, of no use, their sex drive shuts off or goes into limbo, then it's very possible to remain happily married, just being each others friend and not having sex.
More often, it's one having the sex drive and the other not and the one who's not getting it, going out and getting sex elsewhere. When I dated after divorce, I met guys who said they were single but hoped once I'd meet and like them that I wouldnt mind that they were married. The complaint, no sex life anymore and yet the guy never wanted to leave her because he loved her, even without sex, they were best friends.
I am now older and wiser and have more self confidence and learned to love myself enough to step away from a bad marriage. He began to verbally abuse. With what I learned, I decided, getting married as I had as a virgin wasnt what its cracked up to be. I now knew how important it was that a vibrant sex life was part of any relationship I had with a guy. If I were to marry again, it wouldn't be until I checked the guy out really well, not just sexually to make sure we were a match but spending lots of time with him, around almost 24/7 and best way was to live with a guy. There's very little a person can hold back or fake long term. So I did all that with my 2nd husband before marrying him.
When your time comes dear, just because the majority of people are sexually mismatched in marriage doesnt mean you have to settle for less as they did. Read up on healthy relationships. Learn to understand your body perfectly, what turns you on, how to have cit, g spot and a spot orgasms and learn about all the things there is to know about pleasing a guy as well, the physiology of the sexual workings of males and females in general and then whether you are totally satisfied with sex one a week, once a month, several times a week or per day. If you really pay attention to these details, you can find something better than what the parents settled for. But don't worry, this doesn't in their case mean there is a chance of divorce because of no sex.
I'm tired of being mean to the person I like. It's always me calling them names and calling them ugly when I. don't. mean. it. It makes me mad because impulse control disorder makes me blurt out some mean things some times without even thinking. I want to be nice, I really do. But I just don't know how...
any suggestions as how to improve myself in being nice? Because I want to better myself, for the sake of the person I like, for our friendship in general, and for my sake.
You are able to label what you suffer from. Is this a self diagnosis? Is a doctor seeing you? You can't rely on self diagnosis. I was reading a book on behavioral and mental disorders to try to gain insight into understanding an ex and one of my girl friends and almost everything I looked up had the same descriptions. It takes a professional to see you for some time to even come to know what you have to help you with it. So if not seeing a behavioral therapist or mental health professional. it's time to do so. If you are not yet an adult, talk to your parents and school counselors and trhey can get you set up with professional help. If you have seen a Dr. they need to know you are still suffering some this impulse disorder. They can help with things you can do to gain control and I have no idea if they offer meds for this condition.
Even if friends know you have this disorder, once spoken, words like that, even if you don't mean it, are very negative and negative words are a poision that will slowly eat at any people who spend much time in your presense. It will harm their own emotional health. So the obvious would be to keep the thoughts you get, inside your head and not speak them out. Thats one step. But takking it further to find what cause's your impulse discorder and deal with it so you no longer have it would be the best option. Thats what I'd be going for with a professional. Or, if you've had no success yet with Drs. go as a last resort to a hypnotist. They work with people all the time to stop destrutive habits like smoking, drinking, gambling, so I am sure impulse disorder would be just as easy to deal with.
Is it bad to put too much pressure on yourself? That's a question that I am currently asking myself. I've been like this since after I graduated highschool, and started learning the lesson of adult life - failure.
Before my dad lost his job when I was 17, I had a privileged life growing up in my grandmother's household. One that involved basically getting everything that I wanted.
Granted, I never got designer clothing, like the other girls in my private school had - my mom always said that it was too expensive. Nor did the boys that I liked ever ask me out. I still got to go on yearly vacations, which averaged at three a year for a little while. Yet when I cried because I really wanted something, my parents or my grandmother always gave into me. When I wanted another dog after my father's dog died and I cried, my grandmother had my mom buy my sister and I another dog.
*I traveled from Hawaii to New York, and was going to do it again, but my mom convinced us to go to Puerto Rico instead. Most people around here have never been, because they claim that it's too expensive.
*I went to Disney World for three summers in a row, and five times in my life. My sister has been there more.
At the moment I have just entered my senior year of college. I still have two semesters left after this one, because I have chosen to engage in a double concentration of finance and MIS.
I became very depressed last summer. Mainly because I feel like I am above most people during my college successes. I have volunteered, I was a peer mentor (a role in which I was considered a student leader), the president of my history club, and now I am on the honors advisory board.
Up until last semester, when I got two A-s for the first time ever in my college career I had a 4.0 GPA, now I have a 3.93. The reason why that happened was because I was freaked out that I might have been pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. My body was acting really weird which turned into a yeast infection.
I didn't do that to brag. Primarily I am like that, because I push myself so hard. I study so much to the point where I do not have a life, out of fear that I will finally reach the point a failure. I will take 18+ credits and be sure to stay up all night just to get assignments done. Everyone in my family has voiced their concerns.
I will forget to turn in an important assignment, I will flunk a test, the chain of events will get too intense and I will lose my scholarship causing me to not graduate college.
Two professors who really liked me pointed this out. My history professor during my sophomore year of college, when I was getting ready to graduate with my Associates' Degree, a 4.0 GPA, and a member of Phi Theta Kappa.
I am just so driven to get things done and become successful. That's what I want a life, a future with my long-term boyfriend and success.
Is this bad? I just told my best friend that it will probably lead to me developing cancer, diabetes, and heart problems later on in life.
The human body is not a machine and so it needs down time to unwind, a time of rest to re-charge. And even machines need some up keep to keep functioning properly. With machines, if we stress them beyond their limit, we wear out parts and replace them or replace the entire machine.
Humans can't be replaced and too much stress will wear out our bodies, and actually begin the process of early stages of disease. Don't kid yourself. I know of plenty young people, friends of my kids who in their late 20's or by 30 have gone on anxiety meds, depression meds and hearth meds. We live in a toxic world, a fact we can't escape so we must do whatever we can in other area's to ensure the best health possible and pushing too hard can overstress a person. That in essence raises the chances of you having a mental breakdown or a physical one, something it seems you've already figured out. If you need someone to tell you this is bad, then you have a strange thought process. I believe you know it's bad and believe you can't make yourself slow down so you have already given up on scaling down a bit, ready to accept the inevitable of physical and mental breakdown. Now answer this one for yourself, once you have all this success from never resting, how are you going to be able to enjoy it if your health is compromised. Your wealth may only be going to health care to keep you alive rather than enjoying a fancy house, car, the newest fashions, eating out, traveling the world, etc.... If you really truly want to scale back so you don't push yourself so hard, you need to discover what is in your experience, background, subconscious that drives you so and I c an only think of one person who can help, a psychologist, to expose and deal with underlying issues that make you so. And you are not going to find that here dear.
I haven't been on this site for literally years but I thought someone here could help me. I can't go to my friend with this because I've told her similar things before and she immediately says the worst, like he is cheating and hiding things from me.
I'd really like someone else's opinion, please.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and he is 21 and I am 20. I basically live with him and I'm with him pretty much all the time. BUT I can never touch his phone. He literally fights me over it if I get ahold of it. He also has two phones. He says one is for games and the other is for calling and texting. I've been on the games one before freely with his permission. The other one I have only been on when I snuck around when he was sleeping, and I did find horrible heart-crushing things on it. He was talking to multiple girls, and even in sexual ways. He told one girl that he was going to have sex with her when he visited another state and she was agreeing to it.
Talking to him about it, he denied everything I said and said he was never actually going to have sex with her.
(This wasn't the first time I saw him talking to other people. A couple months before he was talking to his ex, who we went through terrible things with. She is psycho and I don't know why he'd even think about talking to her. I guess she was hard to let go.)
I've accused him before of continuing to talk to other girls, calling them beautiful, deleting the messages after, etc. He gets extremely mad, yells at me, and leaves the room. I can recall this happening 3 times where I'm seriously crying and scared of him.
It seems like every day I see on his phone a pop-up saying a girl accepted his friend request. I ask him and he says its someone he knew from where he lived before, and he had a lot of friends who were girls. But all of them are like... Beautiful, have lots of likes on their pictures(from him too), and.. ya know? Like, they don't seem like real girls. But their location sure enough says where he is from. BUT who even has that many friends? He adds a LOT of girls. "That request is from a long time ago." Yeah, okay.
He also used to take his phone in the shower with him. I say USED TO because he doesn't shower when I'm there anymore, I'm assuming because I confronted him about it.
One last thing, I was on his games phone and went on his Facebook to see him telling another girl she's "so beautiful" and then later, it was gone. He doesn't remember it all at. So, I know he deletes everything. And, of course, denies it.
I'm sorry this is so long. If someone can give their opinion on this, like how I can help the situation or help fix these problems we have, I'd be very appreciative. I really do love him. Taking away all of these things I mentioned above, he does NOT seem like someone who would cheat. I know him really well. But all of this is beyond my mind.
A year's time is enough for him to decide if he's so into you that he doesn't want to look at other girls. Since he's looking and talking and sexual talk is in the picture, obviously he's not into you. That alone is enough reason to leave him, not to mention the lying and such.
You are not the first girl to have developed feelings of love for a guy who ends up treating her like shit. When there is sex in the relationship, the tie to someone is even stronger emotionally for the girl. However for the relationship to work, he needs to have these same feelings of love, cus if he doesnn't it won't work. Him saying the words, if he does, saying I love you isn't proof that a man loves you. It is through his actions dear, that a man truly proves whether he loves you or not. Words are cheap and easy to say. But the heart of a man has to be so totally in love with you that he wouldn't want to do anything that might hurt you and if something unintentionally does, he is hurting that you are hurting, he would be an open book, with nothing to hide from you, he would be your best friend, but best friends don't lie to and hide things from their closest friend do they? He is not even treating you as a friend let alone a lover.
This clearly is a guy not ready to commit to a relationship with one girl. He is still like the kid in the candy store wanting to try out a little of everything. Just the fact he puts so much energy into contact with other girls means he is leaving very little for you.
You ask how to fix the problems. He's the one with the problems and no one can change another person. The want to change for the better has to come from within him. He may change once he grows up and that might not happen until well into his 30's or he may never change and always be a player, letting a girl think she has a relationship with him when she's nothing more than a sex partner, can't say friend with benefits as he's not trying you even like a friend. I think you will only learn by staying with him, that is your only solution. Everyone else is saying to leave him, but your statement "Taking away all of these things I mentioned above,he does NOT seem like someone who would cheat." shows me that you are not ready to take the obvious step and leave him. So the answer is to stay. You are okay with him doing what he is doing as long as he does not have sex with a girl, right? Then I suppose your relationship will limp along until you do have evidence of him doing so or perhaps the day will come when he begins to ignore you more and more and you finally can't stand being overlooked and unloved anymore and you leave. I am serious here. I was in a bad relationship and stayed for many years like a glutton for punishment. I just turned a blind eye to what he was doing, I made excuses for his behavior AND I lied to myself, not 100% believing what I was trying to convince myself was still a good relationship. Us women can do stupid things some times all for the feelings of love in our heart. Now that I am remarried, looking back, I know that the 'love' feelings I had for him were nothing more than some infatuation feelings with the hope that real love develops. In the end, in front of friends he confessed he had never been in love with me. A person can have a preferance for something cus it tickles their fancy in a way, but that kind of love is like loving a flavor of icecream or a type of meal, style of music, season of the year and for each of those, we could put into words why we love those things above anything else, but that kind of love is not enough to make a relationship healthy, loving and last long term or life long. So yeah, there's something about you that he loves, but that one or two things isn't enough to make him fall in love with you to the point he no longer wants to talk to, look at any other girl but you. However, it's hard to walk away, go since you're likely not going to listen to the others advice to leave him, I say stay and learn how much abuse or neglect you can take before you reach your breaking point. Cus that's what it will take for you to leave. Also, years and years of treatment like this from him WILL eventually slowly eat away at whatever love you do have for him. It did for me. One day I realized I no longer had feelings for him at all. That made it easier to leave but I sure wish now I had left him earlier instead of wasting time with him. Life is short so if you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong.
So i've had a hugs crush on this guy for a while, (let's call him c.) Today our families had dinner together. Me and c have been just close friends for a while. C put his hand on my shoulder today at dinner. Tomorrow we have school. I am really excited that he did that but I just don't know how to approach him. I really want to go out with him though.
Any advice?
Well, obviously it's not a nightmare since you liked the fact he touched you. When a guy is attracted as more than just friends, a guy will find reasons to be near you and to touch you.
Assuming you're both old enough to go on dates according to both your parents, there is no reason not to ask. In fact it may be in your favor as far as the parents go. They already know this boy and his character so they wouldnt have the same fears as if an unknown to them guy is starting to date you. If the parents object to the idea of you going out on a date of your own, just ask if you can have C over to hang out with you at the house on a weekend day, not for the purpose of his parents visiting again, just him there for you. As to what to say, "I liked it when you touched my shoulder. I think its tell I tell you that for some time I have been feeling towards you as more than friends and I wonder if your touch was a sign that you feel the same." Put it in your own words but mention the touch and having feelings that have grown and changed and ask how he feels in return.
Good luck.
Hi! i'm a girl and i'm having my Sweet 16 party in several weeks, and i'm starting to send out invitations. most of my friends are girls, but i have a few close guy friends as well. my question is this, should i invite those guy friends even though there will be mostly girls at the party?
i feel like it would be awkward because there would be about 15 girls (maybe) and about 5 or 6 guys. i have more guy friends that i could invite but some of them i don't know all that well. what do you think?
thanks! :)
The guys won't mind. My girls had parties where there were only 2 or3 guys present to 10 girls and they loved the attention. One party, a guy had to leave early and the last there was talked into letting the girls mouse his hair and put makeup on him. Not kidding, I was shocked when I checked on em but he was eating this up, having so many girls put their hands on him! LOL
In your case, there's a great balance, enough for some fun party games, stuff we did in church youth group so its still innocent. The circle is ringed with girls seated and each boy takes a turn going around to each girl saying, "Honey if you love me just smile." She has to answer, "I love you honey but I just can't smile" However he gets to do all sorts of silly things to make her smile or laugh, like cartoon voice or funny face for example. If she smiles, She's out until all the guys going around have eliminated most the girls or want to switch to all the guys in a circle or in a row in this case and each girl gets to try to make a guy smile. Stick with the guys you know best and are friends with, as you already know their character better and what you can expect of their behavior. One daughter invited a girl she didn't know too well and I caught her instigating many rough games in a small house. Things were being knocked over and broken but I didn't know until the next morning when my daughter told me. She didn't know the girl would do this and I know her other friends well enough from before to know they wouldn't. She was barred from ever coming over again for not respecting our home and property. So make sure there are no trouble makers in the group or there could be trouble. Hope you have a wonderful party dear.
I don't know whether I'm being silly or over-reacting but I just need to hear what other people think. Been with my boyfriend for over a year, things have been good. He's everything you'd want in a man- intelligent, focused, funny, and he a always does his best in every situation. We have loads in common, we truly get on like a house on fire.
There's been a few things which I felt the need to bring up over the year- mostly about not spending enough time together and also he wouldn't be overly emotive which I sometimes found hurtful. We've worked through these, mostly the spending time together, and everything was great. He's a reserved guy so I wasn't expecting him to be all lovey dovey all the time but it's very rare he is. Also in the bedroom, sex itself is good....but again he's reserved, and a bit selfish....he's never made me orgasm even though I've brought it up. It's like he doesn't want to change, and rarely wants to change up the moves in the bedroom- sorry if this is all TMI! I don't know if he realises how big of a deal this is for me because he usually does take things I say on board but I feel I shouldn't have to say this. He's not very experienced in this department so it could be that either.
He admits he doesn't love me yet, but has strong feelings for me....at this stage I would imagine he should feel stronger but am I just rushing him? I really really like him, he's the first person I've ever been with that I've had no doubts about, and I'm genuinely a much better and happier person when I'm with him, but just sometimes I feel we are more like friends. I've never felt that passion/fire from him...the feeling of 'having' to be with someone. Do you think because he is so reserved and not emotional I should just give him time or should I stop investing in this relationship? Thanks.
I don't know your age. If this is high school age, well, few guys are willing to be seriously in love at that age. They are only just learning, even sometimes in college, it's still a matter of not knowing what they want. And no, what you share regarding the sex life is not TMI, it is a very important fact in any couple relationship at any age. The fact that you have brought up the fact you'd like him to spend more time on you, finding ways to get you to orgasm rather than be selfish speaks great volumes. A relationship to be successful need two important bases covered, one of which is being each others best friend, and from what you say, it would seem you're close on that minus not having much communication, at least what you require. the other important base is the sexual side of things, The two have to be a match there, have compatibility, great chemistry. If chemistry is missing, it's like kissing your own brother romantically. If on a scale of 1 to 10, the chemistry is not 8, 9 or 10, there will be issues, that may or may not be overcome. Also, the couple need matching libido's, this is how often one wants/needs sex. Some are happy with just a couple times a month, others with couple times a week and others daily.
Then is the matter of wanting to put your partners needs before your own, wanting to please them. If there is no love for the person, likely they won't be driven to want to please them or work too hard on trying new things. You don't always gets it with a friends with benefits situations which kinda sounds like where you're at for the moment. He may grow to love you and he may not. However, do not set your sex life aside and give up on it because a guy is perfect in all other areas. Long term, this is what breaks up marriages, has one or both partner cheat to get their sexual needs elsewhere, staying only for the frienship. The best thing is to find the man who can be both for you. For the future, I will add my test of how to determine whether a guy loves you or not. Good luck dear, and just follow your heart in this.
7 Questions to know if he really loves you
1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says “I love you”, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.
How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.
I'm 15 and I've never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy. Most guys won't even come near. I think its my religion (Muslim) most guys are probably scared by it. But I did have a couple if guy friends who felt comfortable around. No guy has ever called me pretty. I'm pretty approachable when I'm with friends but I'm shy and quiet alone. Am I ugly? Is it my religion? Or do guys just not like me at all? I don't know what to do. I feel like I'll never have a boyfriend.
If few know your religion, it may not even be that which scares them off. It may be more the general feeling among society. When I was your age, "the bad guys" were considered to be Russia/Soviet Union and any people of that origin living in the U.S. were avoided, not trusted, ostracized. But we have learned and grown and that is no longer an issue.
Unfortunately there will always be some group of people others won't trust or approach because of what the media hypes about or un informed people talk about. Right now, I'd have to say with all the talk in the US of terrorists, that anyone with darker skin or originating from the middle east in heritage are now the untrusted outsiders. Also still left out and misunderstood are people of any different sexual orientation than heterosexual but they are slowly gaining ground and my opinion, is they're in a better position depending on the state they live in. Also depending on what state they live in, next come the people with any black in their heritage.
There will always be biased people. And there are others who are not. Of those who are not, you will eventually find a boyfriend. As long as your own parents have no issue what the race of religion of your friends or boyfriend are, there shouldn't be a problem. Just hang in there. Looks are never the real issue. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That means for example,that some guy my daughter finds cute, I may not think so, or if I were her age again, I wouldn't be attracted and all that matters is that she be attracted to him. There is never someone too ugly or unattractive to every male on the planet. It doesnt exist. If someone tells you that, it's a lie. So hold your head up, enjoy being you and don't change anything about you. Someday the right guy will notice. In high school most guys don't know what they want yet. Neither myself nor my 3 daughters ever had a boyfriend in school, we all had some male friends but not boyfriends. And we all did okay. We weren't lacking anything and actually avoided a lot of the immature drama of highschool dating. Good luck.
Hi everyone, this is my 1st time using this website & I'm hoping to get some substantial advice. Basically, my parents are divorced & me & my younger sibling (very attached to them) live with my mother, who had depression and anxiety. She wants to move across the country because of family who can support her there. But, I'm an AP student & would lose credits, GPA, & ranking if I moved. Naturally, I want to stay here (also because of a long term relationship with my boyfriend) but also because I want to go to college here. Any advice? Is it smart to move for family when you truly don't want to? Also, I'm in an interraical relationship my mom doesn't approvd of because of old fashioned thoughts, but it's been 1 yr & he's a really good kid. She's been on board/ off board about it constantly. I come from an old fashioned Arabic family who's extremely judgmental and I don't want to lose my family, but I don't see how it's okay for them to think that way because he's black? Please try to put yourself in the situation because I've gotten advice but not from people who really, really thought my situation through. It would be really appreciated and probably save me from seeing a therapist for all my probkems.
I understand the boyfriend is important to you but the real big issue here that you should focus on when arguing your point is the fact that you are an AP student. Have a talk with Mom and see if she will put off her move until you graduate high school and the accelerated program. Make sure that she is aware of you losing everything if you move. If she won't and you want to stay, you'd need to find ways to make it without her if you were to stay. My 2nd husbands daughter was on the same program and pretty self sufficient and he allowed her to make all her own decisions before she turned 18 as the students in AP seem to be a bit more mature and self starters capable of managing any difficulty of the adult world they come across. You would need to be able to do this. I can understand Mom wanting to live near family to have support for herself but yours is the higher priority right now. When you're a parent, your kids and their needs come first. Since she has her issues, she is unable to fully be there for you and may not see your need as greater than hers.
So what I propose is that you work on finding and arranging a place to live while and perhaps a part time job. If you could talk to girlfriends parents and see who might have space for you, that would be a good way to go until you graduate or turn 18. Once it's close to college time, see if there might be a room for rent in someones home on craigs list. Places near colleges take advantage of the fact that students will be looking for cheap stable housing and make some extra bucks. You might discuss a little monthly financial support from Mom or even a relative, even if it's only $200. a month and also find a part time job. It won't be easy juggling school and a job but there is a need to pay for housing and essentials. Students can apply for and easily get on the food stamp program. With Obama care, you should be able to qualify for your own healthcare for free. If you can plan ahead and find a room in walking distance, you could ride a bike to school saving on bus fare or upkeep of a car. The daughter rode to college from the apartment, even though she could take a bus because it saved a little money. It all adds up by the end of the month. Find other ways to be frugal and you may have a way to stay when Mom goes.
Talk to your AP advisors too and see what if anything they have to recommend because they will be for favoring a way for you to not lose all your credit. I wish you the best dear.
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Help me decide what to do. I have no assets except a beat up van. I’m renting to own a rundown house that needs over $30K in work- new roof, new plumbing, new flooring (seriously the floors are currently particle board and luan). I have two girls, 14 and 13. I have over $24K in credit card debt from my divorce/ ex-husband. The payment on this debt is $600 a month. Although I only make $2000 a month, I worked very hard for two years to build my credit so that I could buy this beat up house. My plan was to take out a home equity loan to pay off my credit card and fix up my house. Everything was lined up and I was going to close on my house. Then my plant closed and I am out of a job so I’m out of a job and can’t a loan.
My question is should I keep paying my credit card bill even though I’ll never be able to get another house loan for at least two years? Right now we can afford anything. No field trips, no new clothes, no school annuals, no cable or cell phones. We have nothing. My thoughts right now are to stop paying the credit card bills and get a nice apartment. I want my girls to at least have a few nice things while they are in high school. They only have a few years school left. Right now, they can’t even have a sleep over because the house is so run down. At least if I use that extra $600 a month I don’t pay towards credit card bills, they can go to a movie, have cell phone, get a school annual, go on field trips… do the things normal kids do. When they are grown and out of the house, I can try to rebuild my credit and get a house for my grandchildren. But right now I’m so tired of having nothing and being embarrassed because my girls don’t have anything either. They really don’t. Any words of wisdom?
I've been in your financial situation twice needing to file bankruptcy. It is not a shameful thing but a necessity. I agree with everything Grandfather said. I want to stress this: do not let the concern of your credit hold you back from providing for basics like a Safe roof over your heads. If the place is not safe enough to invite their friends over, then why are you all living there? The safer option would be the apartment. The girls won't feel bad living in an apartment vs a house. And as you said, sometimes some little treats like field trips, annual, trip to movies can boost ones frame of mind and makes it easier to keep going even though things may still be tight.
Check with your school to see if they know of any programs in the area offering free Clothes for Kids. My school district had such a thing and only families referred by school official could get in. There were 2nd hand clothes in good condition and brand new underwear, socks, hats, mittens. Some clothes may not be brand new, but new to the child works. That's almost all I ever did. The school often know of more social help available than is advertised. I once couldn't find my daughters one pair of shoes and she was getting real late for school so I put 3 pairs of socks on each foot and took her to school telling her to let teacher know mom couldn't find her only pair of shoes. When I went to pick her up end of day, she was wearing a pair of donated shoes.
While you are on unemployment, looking for work, get on food stamps if you aren't already. There may be other things you qualify for too especially a single parent with 2 children. Just check with your local Department of Social and Health Services, DSHS or what ever it is called in your area, the school could probably steer you the right direction. You may qualify for gasoline vouchers to put gas in car, etc. Get the free help on everything you can so that with the little you have left, you can carefully put out some money for the special things that you can't get free, like annuals. As for a phone or cell, until you can afford one, I have heard of programs that collect working old cell phones and give one to a person with no way of calling for emergency help, especially if there are children at home. But the only thing you can dial on the cell is 911. It is a little reassurance in case a child was badly injured or someone was trying to break in. And if I were you, I wouldn't be so concerned thinking you Need a house when you have grandchildren. Grandchildren come to see grandma, not grandma's house or apartment, Mine have no problem with an apartment, its the time spent with me that is precious and meaningful, not where I am living.
I'm in a close group of friends, and we've all known each other about 18 months, all roughly 20 years old. I've started to really really like one of my closest friends (lets refer to him as the guy- I'm a girl)- building up for the last 6 months or so, during which time we've definitely got closer. He's religious, so I don't know how he'd feel about a relationship, but oh well.
Problem is, one of my close friends (friend A) started to like him around the same time and was very vocal about it. All of our other friends know, she talks about it a lot (except in front of him) and has even kissed him briefly the other night (while drunk). He'd have to be blind not to know she likes him, but he could be trying not to lead her on, since she's most enthusiastic while drunk and has been known to sleep with strangers in that state. Another friend guessed I liked him almost before I knew but I laughed her guess away because I was surprised and kind of embarrassed at the time. I didn't realise how strongly I felt. Now everyone's encouraging friend A and it feels like its too late to talk to anyone.
I also really don't want to make friend A miserable, because she'd been in some bad relationships before. The guy is just hard to read, and I desperately want to keep the same friendship with them both, I just don't know if I'd manage it if they were together.
I don't know what to do. Should I talk to someone, or just hope/ assume I'll get over him? I should add that I'm living with them both, and will be probably for another year or two.
Woah, living in the same apartment? That tweaks things a bit. For some reason she is not approaching him to let him know how she feels about him. Since she's crushing on him, she will be crushed, (pun intended) if you and he somehow miraculously started a relationship and this is going on right where she can see it, since you all live together. Depending on the depth of her feelings, it could make her want to move out, you lose a roomie or if she can't afford it, that makes the living situation Hell.
I will now talk about chemistry. If there was some sort of chemistry between two people but they're just too shy to make the first move, once someone starts, then they will follow through on their attraction and get into a relationship. Unfortunately in life, too often, one feels chemistry but the other does not. So here are some what ifs: What if he doesn't feel any chemistry with her, seeing her only as a friend. You make no move to get with him because of her feelings, which even if she expressed it to him, would get her no where.
What if you told him how you feel and he doesnt feel any chemistry with you and confesses he feels it for her but isn't sure she really feels the same --for the reasons you mentioned. Would you tell him she's crazy about him and then have to watch the two making lovy-dovy faces at each other or say nothing and the two of you girls continue to be miserable living with but not having the guy.
What if his religious background has some bearing on the outcome? You wouldn't know until you ask. He could be one of those who's been taught to marry only a Christian if that's his religion, so he's not unequally yoked. Thats a big thing with the church, not being married to an unbeliever. The other more open minded religions of the world for the most part do not have such issues, maybe with exception of a sect here or there. He may not even if attracted, want a girl who is not of the same religious belief. Then again, maybe it doesn't matter to him and he doesn't follow the doctrines of the church that closely which is my guess, especially since he is rooming with two girls. A strict religious Christian family would be horrified to have a son living with any female he is not married to.
These are a lot of what if's. So whatever you choose to do, there will be consequences, at the very least if he's not interested in either of you after all 3 of you sitting and sharing and clearing the air, the living situation will feel strained and awkward from that point on.
Perhaps you ask the girl if she wants you to ask him who he's interested in as you are too, to find out if he prefers one of you or neither as more than a friend. She may not want you to. In that case, there's no reason why you can't just ask him regarding just yourself. But to keep things from being awkward for him, leave out the fact that you already have feelings for him, just that you were attracted to his looks as a friend and wanting to date to see if anything more might develop. That way if he doesn't feel the same, he won't feel weird continueing to live with a girl he knows has feelings for him that he doesnt return. Your girlfriend may not be ready for a serious relationship yet and more into just finding a friend with benefits, sex partner, which wouldn't work out well with all 3 living in the same place.
Simply put, you're in an awkward situation, where no matter what you choose to do, it will be awkward, you lose roommates or create an enemy with the girlfriend. Saying nothing may be best but it also isn;t an answer as it does nothing to give either girl a clear indication if they have a chance with him or not. At least, you now know what things can go wrong in this is you speak up.
I had a boyfriend when i was 17 it was my first and we've been together for 5 years then we got married and after 2 years of marriage we got divorced. Now i'm 25 and after my divorce i hadn't been in any kind of serious relationship.. its been like this for two years now and all of them was like im with them for 2 days and the next day my feelings are gone,i can't maintain in a relation more than 2 days and i don't know why?
I want to love someone but something is wrong with me im trying again and again but no vain.
now there's this guy at my work im working with him almost for 6 month, he's a good guy and he takes care of me without any return except my love for him we started something and after 2 days as usual i said to him i don't want you anymore he insisted insisted and i began to feel boredom of him,then he brings some girl at work and i'm all jealous so my friends told me that if you're jealous then u feel something so we started again and today i woke up and it's all gone..now i dont have the guts to tell him all that bla bla again,,im thinking im not a good person anymore i want to runaway but again all im doing is runaway from my problems my past ..i know i have issues but the problem is i dont know what i have ,every morning i woke up with depression nothing makes me happy except my paintings nothing else ,,maybe im not a relationship person but i dont want to be alone,i think the best solution is to go at some kind of physiatrist,i feel lost and my heart always beats fast and im not ok..
I'm gonna go out on a limb here...it may be that your conscious mind is over him but that your subconscious mind, hurt by the marriage not working out is trying to sabotage your efforts to get back together with a guy to protect you from getting hurt again. It's like having another person inside of you making decisions for you against your will.
If your depression and anxiety (fast heart pulse) has developed only in the 2 years of trying to date after the divorce, I'd say it's greatly possible it's connected to the failed relationships. But you never know, it could also just be that you developed depression at this point in life and that is what's holding you back.
A psychiatrist is the medical treatment of the psyche, and a Psychologist is the science of the psyche. So the choice is up to you who to see as you will need to see someone. I personally am all for exhausting all avenues of resolving an issue first without medication, as that's much like slapping a band-aid on, treating just the symptoms, not the underlying issues causing the problem in the first place. If you want to get at the root of the problem, I'd go with a psychologist although I can't promise it will be covered by insurance, check first.
With a psychologist, you have an opportunity to take advantage of hypnosis if they use that treatment after meeting with you and assessing your problem. Hypnosis goes straight to the subconscious and works with it so that it will no longer fear a new relationship. You could also just see a Hypnotist but likely would pay out of pocket for a visit. I know a coworker who did that to get over a fear and it was gone instantly so I know from her story that it works. If you do have clinical depression and your body doesn't create enough of the feel good hormones inside, then you would need a psychiatrist who is the only one who can dispense a medication. I do know from working as a caregiver with a mentally ill client that at the mental health clinic, she saw both a psychologist who was the one who took the time to talk and listen to and find out what her issues were and give her some solutions, things to try that medication alone wouldn't solve. and she also met with a psychiatrist not as regularly who only asked how the medication was doing for her, if any problems from it, need new one, or change dosage.
So, yes, I'd agree, it's probably best for you to see someone. This doesn't mean you are broken or a terrible person, sometimes it's simply your thought processes that lead you to depression and you need to learn how to better control your thoughts, but that is something that needs to be taught for some and doesn't occur naturally, plus on the low hormone side of things, that's the body you were born with, again, not your fault but Dr.s can help. So go get the help you need dear so you can enjoy life and a relationship.
Started Trigestrel on the 16th jan and hav been using it for 15 days since then,i then had unprotected sex on the 30 jan (day 15) but then when i came home i took the nerlevo morning after pill and that was 3 hours after i had sex...i dont think il get pregnant because i waited 15 days for the trigestrel pill to kick into my system and i used the morning after pill (i weigh 45kg) but could there still be a possibility?
No, theres no possibility of being pregnant. You waited the 2 weeks of taking the birth control pill and that was enough. Taking the Nerlevo, morning after pill was unneccessary. the morning after pill isn't effective on weights over 74.8 kg and you are well under plus on the pill. All it did was flood your body with a heavier dose of hormones all at once. So my opinion is that if you experience anything at all from the higher concentration of hormones in your body, it would be side effects of these hormones. Some of the side effects of these hormones are some of the symptoms of pregnancy like tender swelling breasts, becoming moody, etc... and is natural to experience if the hormone released when a female is really pregnant is the kind of hormones in birth control and that is why they work, they trick the body into thinking it's already pregnant. Read up on symptoms for your trigestral and Nerlevo and if they don't go away and are too much of a nuisance for you, go see your Dr. to be prescribed something different.