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Moving before senior year/racist parents
Hi everyone, this is my 1st time using this website & I'm hoping to get some substantial advice. Basically, my parents are divorced & me & my younger sibling (very attached to them) live with my mother, who had depression and anxiety. She wants to move across the country because of family who can support her there. But, I'm an AP student & would lose credits, GPA, & ranking if I moved. Naturally, I want to stay here (also because of a long term relationship with my boyfriend) but also because I want to go to college here. Any advice? Is it smart to move for family when you truly don't want to? Also, I'm in an interraical relationship my mom doesn't approvd of because of old fashioned thoughts, but it's been 1 yr & he's a really good kid. She's been on board/ off board about it constantly. I come from an old fashioned Arabic family who's extremely judgmental and I don't want to lose my family, but I don't see how it's okay for them to think that way because he's black? Please try to put yourself in the situation because I've gotten advice but not from people who really, really thought my situation through. It would be really appreciated and probably save me from seeing a therapist for all my probkems.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I understand the boyfriend is important to you but the real big issue here that you should focus on when arguing your point is the fact that you are an AP student. Have a talk with Mom and see if she will put off her move until you graduate high school and the accelerated program. Make sure that she is aware of you losing everything if you move. If she won't and you want to stay, you'd need to find ways to make it without her if you were to stay. My 2nd husbands daughter was on the same program and pretty self sufficient and he allowed her to make all her own decisions before she turned 18 as the students in AP seem to be a bit more mature and self starters capable of managing any difficulty of the adult world they come across. You would need to be able to do this. I can understand Mom wanting to live near family to have support for herself but yours is the higher priority right now. When you're a parent, your kids and their needs come first. Since she has her issues, she is unable to fully be there for you and may not see your need as greater than hers.
So what I propose is that you work on finding and arranging a place to live while and perhaps a part time job. If you could talk to girlfriends parents and see who might have space for you, that would be a good way to go until you graduate or turn 18. Once it's close to college time, see if there might be a room for rent in someones home on craigs list. Places near colleges take advantage of the fact that students will be looking for cheap stable housing and make some extra bucks. You might discuss a little monthly financial support from Mom or even a relative, even if it's only $200. a month and also find a part time job. It won't be easy juggling school and a job but there is a need to pay for housing and essentials. Students can apply for and easily get on the food stamp program. With Obama care, you should be able to qualify for your own healthcare for free. If you can plan ahead and find a room in walking distance, you could ride a bike to school saving on bus fare or upkeep of a car. The daughter rode to college from the apartment, even though she could take a bus because it saved a little money. It all adds up by the end of the month. Find other ways to be frugal and you may have a way to stay when Mom goes.
Talk to your AP advisors too and see what if anything they have to recommend because they will be for favoring a way for you to not lose all your credit. I wish you the best dear.
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My advice for you is this. Stay in school. Especially if you are doing so well. You are an adult and there for should not let your family control your own life. Although family is very important to have. Sometimes you have to move on and better yourself. That is just a part of becoming an adult, even though it may be hard sometimes, we all must move on. As far as your relationship with your boyfriend goes. As long as he treats you well and you both love one another then race shouldn't matter. You can not let your family control your own life or you will go no where in life. Hope my advice helps you. Good luck with your education and your boyfriend.
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