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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
thanks for answering my question but sadly almost everyone that answered missed the second part where I said this
"a very disappointing situation that just came from it. There was a tutor I worked with for math at my college. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. My class ended about two months ago. I had to go to college for something I thought it would be a great opportunity to just go in the tutor lab and say hi and chat with her a bit. A friend of mine said he was going to be there as well so he said come in at the same time to work on some stuff so he said to me come when he is there. This is perfect because having a friend of mine there can make me more comfortable and help me create coversation. Now it is not like I want to get in this girls pants or something (hell she is engaged) but I just wanted to have a conversation about stuff and not be a completely anonymous person. I am so envious of all the people who are able to just go up to people and just chat. I can't do that at all.
so I go there, but instead of going inside I get too anxious and just paced around outside of the place for like ten minutes and then just when I was thinking of going inm, she leaves (turns out she was leaving early today). I am so frustrated now and filled with regret. My freaking anxiety totally prevented me from just going in just to say hi.
there's a chance I can see her again some time but I have no idea what the schedule is going to be like. And with my friend being there today, this was such a perfect opportunity and I wasted it,
"
I am wondering how do I get over this regret? I really wanted to talk to her then and it was a great opportunity and I totally missed it. Also you have any tips incase I see her again?
I did read your question thoroughly when you wrote it and I did take into consideration what you're asking about today. Included in my answer is the fact is that you need to get over your anxiety and I believe I included ways to do so in my answer.
There are a great many people both men and women who have problem you write about. Going up to stranger leaving someone you know casually to strike up a casual conversation is rough for many of us. Sometimes the best way to have casual conversations is to do so in a situation where there is mutual knowledge lack of another's way to put it. This would be club or activities where you have mutual interests we can strike up conversation over something that might've been discussed or using photography for example where someone might be discussing with another particular camera where you have knowledge of it. When you have knowledge based information to impart it is Easier to just start talking I guess is good way to put it because your conversation is based on something you are comfortable with and I believe I said something to this effect in my original answer.
Sm curious to how everyday life is for mom in jail. Even my dad encouraged me to ask her about it. Should I or is it kind of mean to ask her to talk about it
It depends on why you are curious. Is your curiosity stickily for general knowledge or is there reason(s) for asking. Your last request was to ask about different reading material you could send your mom, which by the way was a very nice gesture on your part. If your curiosity is to learn what her day is like so you can send her things or write to her to make her day less lonely or miserable then yes ask her about it.
This though is not a question I think you should write to her and ask about, though I could be wrong. I believe this is the type of question mom might prefer to have a discussion on with you during one of your visits to her. The reason for this is a little complicated and has all to do with parenting.
If your question is strictly curiosity and nothing more. Then you might want to hold this question until mom is released. If I remember correctly she is do for release in April with time off for good behavior she could be home in six or seven months. Then you and she can have a conversation at home where it is comfortable for both of you.
Hi everyone,
I just want to thank the people who take time out of their day to give advice to others. I really appreciate the advice you guys give . . . it's extremely helpful to me and so many other people!
Thanks again for all you do on Advicenators!
-Athena
You're quite welcome and we appreciate you taking the time to thank us and letting us know we are providing a useful service.
21/f a year ago I was raped by my ex boyfriend. I never told anyone and have been dealing with it on my own. Anyway I have definitely grown from where I was, but for some reason I still have bad dreams about it, and right before I have intercourse with my current boyfriend in a certain position (the one I was in that awful day) I think about it before and after. It's nauseating to me, and I don't express how I feel to my current boyfriend because who wants to bring up such an awful thing at such a special intimate time. A little while ago I wasn't able to do anything in that position, so now that I can I know I'm moving on, I just don't understand why I still think about it.
When we suffer a traumatic event different things such as smells and taste or in your case a sexual position will cause us to relive the trauma. It is both normal and abnormal. Its abnormal because you have not learned how to deal with this and while you think you have moved on you really haven't; because you keep reliving the event.
Rape by far is the most tragic trauma a women can suffer. You suffered a form of date rape being raped by an ex or someone you know. Traumas do not go away by trying to shuffle them to the back of our minds. They instead continue to haunt us and manifest themselves in different ways,as you are finding out.
You need help in getting closure for what happened and help in learning how to properly deal with what happened. Trying to ignore what happened or deal with it on your own is not working.
I would like you to call the following organization. They are called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline with trained people that can answer your questions and help you find the professionals in your community who can help you learn to deal with what has happened properly. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.
Understand one thing rape is rape. If you said no, stop or in anyway did not consent to sexual intercourse and was forced to perform with or for your ex then you are a victim. Nothing you said or did made him rape you. The statute of limitations in most state on rape is 5 years. If this is the case in your state you can still bring charges against him for rape.
I would consider telling your current boyfriend about being raped, especially considering that the one position is a reminder of the rape for you. If he has any true feelings for you he will not ask you to have sex in that position with him until you can do so without being reminded of the rape. A truly considerate partner would want you to enjoy the sex between you and doing so in that position cannot be enjoyable for you. So consider telling him.
Please call RAINN and talk to them, follow their advice and get professional help so you can put this tragic event properly behind you. And please remember you are the victim her and you deserve proper closure.
I woke this morning with stomach pains went toilet was sick and pooed at the same time all day I've had stomach pain on & off which made me feel I needed to poo every time but its bright red blood coming instead of poo Ive also felt tired & weak all day can anyone give any advice please
Bright red blood in the toilet is generally caused by a torn hemorrhoid, either internal or external or something called an anal fissure. Both of these are generally benign though you need to be seen by a doctor to be properly diagnosed.
You have the choice of seeing your family doctor, proctologist or going to an emergency room. You could if you need to call 911 for help in transport to a hospital emergency room.
You don't say how old you are but if you are under 18 you should tell mom or dad what is happening so they can take you to a doctor or the hospital. I am not a doctor though I am familiar with this type of problem. It is normally not serious and can generally be treated without surgery.
You do need to see a doctor though if the blood is coming from you anus.
I'm a 16 year old girl. I'm so used to living in the past and I have a serious issue with growing up. I'm very nervous about things that will be happening in the near future, like getting a job, getting my license, graduating high school, etc. Other kids my age seem to be so excited about these things while I feel a pit in my stomach!! What are some ways to overcome these things and not feel as nervous?
Relax as the others have told you, you are normal. In fact I would go as far as saying many of your friends who are talking so excitedly about the future are also suffering some anxiety over what the future holds. As I said this is normal we all, even us adults have our concerns over the future. Especially the part about handing the car keys to our children. Fact is when the time comes we harness those concerns and deal with the present based on our preplanning and what the present shows us to be.
Yes I know that is about as clear as mud, right. What I'm saying is that to worry about what the future holds is normal and can be good for it helps you prepare. To worry about the future to the point of being frozen to the past is wrong and harmful as we cannot live in the past we need to move forward.
If want and I would suggest you need to do is to sit down with pen and paper and write down what concerns you with what the future holds. Graduating high school is a concern that is a present concern. So what need to do is list what you need to accomplish between now and when you should graduate. Once you make this list you can formulate a plan to accomplish what's need to graduate.
Getting a license. In most states there is a written test and a road test. Some states require a drivers education course. Find out what your state requires. You can find this out by going to your state's DMV website. Make a list of the requirements, formulate a plan.
Getting a job. Are we talking about a part-time job for after school or are you talking about a full time job after graduation. You should be thinking about a part-time job after school and planning on college then in your Junior year of college start planning a job search for full time employment.
For high school students the type of part-time jobs they can do are controlled by the state and the working papers needed for them are issued by your school. So the first thing you need to do is find out what restrictions are placed on the type of jobs your state has and the hours you can work. Once you have this information make a list of the type of jobs you would like to do. Then get up early, before the places get busy and the managers have time to talk with you and visit these places and ask for a job. Dress nice like you were going to a nice restaurant.
The most important thing about the future is not to worry about it but to meet it head on by planning in advance. A plan is a road map and road maps are just that a planned route that can be changed based on changes in your planning needs.
So as I said in the beginning; relax, stop worrying and start planning instead. By planning you will also get excited for you will be ready when the future comes.
so I am only 14 years old.
I've started to talk to this guy, who is a sophomore. Though he goes to a different school that I do.
we don't live to far, and are planning to hang out soon at one of my schools football games.
he told his mom and step dad that we were talking& that he likes me and they said that I'm pretty and they're okay with it.
On our date at the football game which is in like 2 weeks, August 30, I start school August 29. & his school year started last Monday. He was planning on asking me out. I really like this boy, & I want to be in a serious relationship with him
I want him to meet my parent. (Dad) But I'm too scared and don't know how he'll react.
I live with my dad, grandpa and brother. & uncle sorta, so it's alllll guys, and yeah.
I don't live with my mom, but I do visit her at times, and I wanna tell her too.
if anything ill tell my mom first, but I don't know how. and too scared.
another thing, the guy lives not too far from her. So if she wants to meet him, ill tell him or something to go to her house.
how do I tell them????!!!!
I'm so scared and nervous!
though in the past my dad thought I had a boyfriend once and told my mom to ask me about it.
There is no reason to be scared; dating is a natural part of growing up. What you need to be concerned about, there is a difference between being concerned and scared, is the difference in your ages.
I'm guessing that as a sophomore this boy is at least 2 years older than you. Not really a big difference chronologically and if you were 24 and him being 2 years older their would be no reason to even discuss age difference. If you were 18 I don't think there would be reason to discuss age difference but you are 14 and not very knowledgeable in dating or do's and don'ts of dating. The boy being 16 is more dating knowledgeable or more mature or sophisticated in dating.
As a dad and as you dad will be, I would be concerned that you could be placed in a position you are not sure how to handle. If that were to happen you could be hurt, both physically and or emotionally. As dads our job is to try and keep this from happening.
If he were to come and meet me before you were to date that would be a big plus for him in my book and probably in your dads book as well. I might let you meet him at the football game but you would have to come right home afterwards.
As for regular dates with him, probably not you're just too young. You need time to date boys your own age and learn how to date before dating older boys. You learn how to date by going on group dates to the mall, the movies and other activities. Then when you're older and more dating mature, something your parents will have to decide when that happens, you will be allowed to date one on one.
As a dad I know your parents are waiting for you to come to them about dating. I also know that dad in particular is dreading this day for his little girl will always be his little girl even when she is all grown up and has a family of her own. This is just the way dads are with their daughters.
Dad, mom, one or both may say no today though don't get too upset if you do you will only justify their decision. At 14 years of age you may have earned a bit more trust and freedom, that would be your parents call, then you had at 12 years of age. Just how much freedom is based on how much maturity your parents see in you and how much trust you have earned.
recently i found this site called ask the magic 8 ball believe it or not it sees everything i asked some questions that were on my mind but then somebody came on there and critised my questions and started offending me so where can i report that website for free any links if so post me some
There are several sites with that name. I went to http://www.m8ball.com/index.php. If this is the site you were using at the bottom of the page is terms and conditions if you click on this and scroll down to the page that appears you'll see how to report abuse. If tthis is not the site I would suggest going to the site you're using; go to the bottom of the page and you will to find the name of the webmaster and how to contact him or her or terms and conditions. under terms and conditions your find out how to Report abuse
What should I do?
My mom took my phone while I pretended to sleep and when she gave it back I quickly checked all the recent "view history" and she friggin read all my texts and emails. This bitch pisses me off and I hate how she has to snoop around and read my personal things; where the hell is the privacy these days...
Unfortunately the world is not always a fair place and democracy is not always available to teenagers.
Examples of where democracy does not thrive are in school and at home. Both at home and in school your right to privacy is extremely limited. In school your First, Second, Fourth and Fifth Amendment rights are severely compromised.
The school can and does limit what you say, see and write as well as when and where you can assemble, First Amendment. By both Federal and State Laws you cannot bring a gun onto school grounds, a good thing and Second Amendment. Your school property such as you locker can be searched at anytime, Fourth Amendment. You can be questioned by teachers or principals for wrong doing without benefit of parent or lawyer present at any time for wrongdoing, Fifth Amendment.
At home the same First, second, and Fourth amendment rights do not apply where your parents are concerned. They are responsible for you health, safety and welfare. They can search your room, your computer, your phone, you and anything else the feel is needed to keep you safe. They can control where you go and what you do and say. Your parents can even give consent to law enforcement to search your room.
Your Fifth Amendment rights remain intact. Police can not question you without a lawyer and or a parent present until you reach the age of consent at which time you can give up that right.
The only true right to privacy you have is one to privacy when dressing, bathing or other bathroom necessities.
So the short answer to your question is: Until you are 18 you have little if any rights.
I am a new desk receptionist in my dorm hall this year. I am a sophomore but this is my first year working for housing. I have quite a few shit shifts, 4-6 am... I know :( but I was just wondering how to stay alive during those and how to also be a cool person during the day. I also really want to engage with my residents and be a friendly, likable person. The people on the staff of the dorm I was in last year really impacted my first year and made me want to work the job that I am working so I was just wondering how I can impact my residents' college experience as well.
I already am going to make cool door decs for them to hang on their door. I also have all of their room numbers and I'm going to write them notes when I know they are in class or out of the room, it'll be random, so each resident won't know when they'll get one and it'll be anonymous, so some will say, you're doing great today, put a smile on your face, don't sweat the small stuff. So, if you can think of cute ideas like those, lay them on me because I really want my staff to like and respect me and look back on their freshmen year and say "that one staff member was really great.."
Any help and suggestions are appreciated. Thanks so much!
I like the idea of sending notes of encouragement though I do not like the idea of them being anonymous. There are too many stalker is the world today and anonymous notes tend to give that impression no matter how well meaning they are.
I will assume the 4 to 6 am shift is both as a door guard to keep unauthorized people out and to act as a fire watch during those hours. To stay awake you could I would also assume use this time to do homework and write the notes you are thinking of. Since this is a freshman dorm you may want listen for people crying so you can go to them and offer comfort and advice during the day. Something you can also put in your notes to them.
Some things you might want to do is to hold a dorm meeting. The agenda for the first meeting would be to go over the dorm rules, I know not very exciting though it needs to be done so everyone is on the same page. Once that is done you can discuss different activities you can do as a group say on weekends and some weeknights say a Wednesday.
This is a group of young people away from home for the first time probably. Not all will have dates each weekend. Give them reason to stay at the dorm and out of trouble rather than in town doing things that maybe they should not be doing. If it is not a coed dorm you could have pajama parties, makeup parties, movie nights and so on.
I'm sure you can think of other things to do. Most importantly I think you need to convey confidence to them that you are there to help them get through the first year of college. If you can do this then I think you will have accomplished your goals.
What is the importance of physical relationship in marriage?
The importance of anything is solely based on the importance you put on it. A physical relationship could be 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 for someone and a 5 for someone else. This could be a cause for a problem in a marriage if one person needed more in intimacy in a relationship.
Then there is another problem with to be concerned with. Basing a marriage strictly on one portion of a marriage is also a basis for failure. Sex will only take a marriage so far. One day you wake up and find you need to communicate and fined either you can't communicate or like the example above your are mismatched in that area.
Marriage is not just sex. Marriage is you entire life merged into someone else's life. That does not mean either partner must or is expected to give up their identity for the other. It means that there is going to be a need for compromise on the part of both partners. This is what the engagement period or even living together is all about prior to actually getting married. This is the time when you find out just how compatible the two of you are and whether or not your love is simply a physical or sexual attraction.
I realize my answer was longer than you might have expected. Though after 42 years and still going strong married to the same women. To me your question was more complex than you may have realized.
I have depersonatization disorder; I know because I feel unreal and zone out so bad that I come back and have to remember things to feel less detached at the moment, I have anxiety...Anyhow, I don't think this is it because I get very depressed,I used to think of suicide, at times I act differently and I'm not trying to fit it (I don't think). I argue at times and just have to be right and have to win the argument (big problem),I think of hurting people, myself, and just dark thoughts. I sometimes find physical contact uncomfortable, I have sexual thoughts but I can't "turn on" at the right time. I also sometimes say things that really don't apply to the conversation...does anyone might have like an idea of what's wrong with me? What is wrong with meee! these feelings are helpless!
I answered you first question to us on this. In my answer I gave you a link to the Cleveland Clinic which I believe I mistakenly said was the Mayo Clinic. I apologize for that but they are both excellent clinics. In that link the article answers all of your questions.
As the article suggests, there is no known cure for depersonalization disorder. What they do is treat the symptoms and it is believed that since this disorder is one that affects mostly people of your age, with time by treating the symptoms the disorder itself will go away.
If I remember correctly you have not be properly diagnosed. I believe you wrote your mother passed it off as some type of phase or you were just acting up. Thirty years ago the doctors would have agreed with her. Today most doctors know better.
In my last answer I said you needed to see a psychiatrist, which probably scared you. No your not crazy. One of the symptoms of this illness is clinical depression. Clinical depression is actually a medical illness similar to diabetes in that it is an insufficient amount of 1 or 2 hormones are not secreted in enough quantity to ward off depression. Unlike diabetes clinical depression is curable through medication and possibly some talk therapy to identify and help you deal with the stressors causing the depression and anxiety attacks you are having.
Since these two hormones happen to secrete into the brain doctors feel that a board certified psychiatrist is best trained to prescribe and treat clinical depression. A family doctor could treat this illness if they wanted to by prescribing medication. The problem is they do not get the training in the pharmacology of the different drugs available to treat clinical depression.
Meaning family doctors are not fully up on how these different drugs work and different people might react to them. Board Certified Psychiatrists are medical doctors who spend an additional year in what is called a fellowship and then is tested to receive board certification in psychiatry as well as general medicine making the psychiatrist the better doctor to treat this illness.
Once again my recommendation is to see your doctor for a full physical. You probably need one for back to school anyway. While you're with the doctor tell the doctor of what you have written to us. The complete physical is need to rule out any other organic problems. Then you should be referred to a Board Certified Psychiatrist fro diagnoses and treatment.
You mentioned here that you think of hurting yourself, others and that you are having dark thoughts. If you are having these thoughts then you need to call 911 and get help now before those dark thoughts have you acting on them. You do not need parental permission to call 911.
Having dark thoughts, thoughts of hurting others or yourself is reason to call for help. No one will hurt you but they will see to it that you are taken to the hospital emergency room where doctors can offer you the medical help you need
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/Dissociative_Disorders/hic_Depersonalization_Disorder.aspx
I've been on a downward spiral for years, and it's reaching a breaking point. And it certainly doesn't help my self-esteem when recently a guy I like has been talking to me about this other girl he likes a flip-ton.
I want to like myself again. I want to have confidence, to live a day where I don't wish I was someone else. I want to be happy again. What are some steps I can take to get my respect for myself back?
This may sound a little strange to you though it worked for me. I found that we can spend our lives wishing or trying to be someone or something we are not. For those of us who do this we end up where you seem to be and I was. Having low self-esteem and paralyzed in self-doubt.
When I realized that being this way was keeping me from making my way in the world, making a real living, finding a wife and living the best of the American dream I could. I came up with the following two phrases to live by:
1) The only person I have to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today.
2) If I leave the house today and return home in the evening having learned something new then I have had a day where I accomplished a great deal.
If I can be a better person tomorrow than I am today, then I have grown and matured. This has worked well for me in life and in my career. When I started to live by this rule I started to have better sales. Was sought after by the leading organization in my trade and became one of their best sales people. For over 20 years I never was worse than in the top 5 which meant I was always the leader in my region.
Sales managers always measured productivity and accomplishments by sales. I had one sales manager tell me if you did not sell something each day then you were unemployed that day. I never worried about selling something each and every day. I was more concerned with learning something new each day because knowledge is growth and power. If I learned something new about almost anything I could use that to help me sell something.
Sales people are supposed to talk a lot. I didn't talk very much I sat and I listened. Through listening I learned and I used what I learned to sell what the customer wanted as well as what I wanted them to buy.
Hopefully by explaining how these two little phrases or idioms if you will changed my life. If you were to adopt them they can change your life. Perspective which is how we see things is everything. If you change how you see yourself you can reverse that spiral you're in, gain the self-confidence you're losing and get the respect you want from other people.
You don't say how old you are so I will put it this way. People respect those who are successful. Be it in school or at work. If you're in school buckle down and improve your grades. IF you are in the working world then become the best at whatever it is you are doing. Make the supervisor or boss notice you for what they are not seeing. That being having to constantly be on you or correct you to do your job. Employers notice you more when they are not seeing you. The same goes for teachers.
Ok so firstly I am a 17/f and a virgin. I was going out with a guy 9 months ago and he broke my hymen because he fingered me with 3 fingers but there was never any blood and it was never uncomfortable. So recently I was started going out with a new guy and I haven't done anything since the old guy (9 months ago). But when he fingered me (1/2 fingers) for the first time I instantly started bleeding. I freaked out and found it so embarrassing because it was bleeding a lot. It bled for 3 days. A few weeks later I got my actual period and it really hurt! A lot more than normal! So I decided to just ignore it. Then after my period was over and everything seemed ok we tried again and the same thing happened but worse. Please help me! I don't know what is wrong?! And its really starting to hurt!!
This is one of those questions that requires a doctor to examine you to find out what has happened. None of us are doctors and we cannot examine you over the web if we were doctors.
I do not believe there is anything seriously wrong. The most common problem with loss of virginity is the Hymen is not fully ruptured. When this happens continued penetration causes continued injury to the interior of your vagina.
I'm only guessing this is the problem. Since you have not been fully penetrated by a penis, in sexual intercourse, which would most likely dislodged your Hymen fully I would think this is the problem.
You need to see a gynecologist. After examination if I'm correct the GYN will remove the remaining Hymen and repair any damage that may have been done.
If you're concerned about mom finding out, don't be. Since you turned 14 you have had, by federal law called HIPPA, complete medical confidentiality and privacy relating to your reproductive system. This means, mom or anyone else for that matter, can no longer be told anything about your reproductive health without your written consent to the doctor.
Mom cannot be in the exam room with you during any examination that includes a female exam. None of your doctors can discuss what you're examined for, what you may have been treated for and any prescriptions written for you including birth control. You do not need parental permission to ask for or receive birth control medication. All you need do is tell your doctor you invoke your rights under HIPPA.
The fact that your parents health insurance is paying for these visits does not override your right to medical privacy concerning your reproductive health. This HIPPA Law has stood the test of the U.S. Supreme Court so even a court order cannot be obtained to view your medical records without just cause and being a parent is not just cause.
The reason for this portion of the law was not to give young people license to have sex. It was written so that young people would seek out medical help for problems, such as you have written about, when they were too embarrassed or afraid to go to their parents.
By law you may make an appoint to see a doctor and visit with that doctor without parental permission for anything related to your reproductive system. When you turn 18 your parents or anyone else will no longer have access to any medical information as you will then be an adult. To gain access to your medical information now and in the future requires written permission to your doctor by you. Also you pharmacist may not divulge any prescriptions your GYN writes to your parents without your permission.
My advice is to see your GYN. IF you do not have one you can go to any of your choice or any woman's clinic.
I'm thirteen years old and female, and I think I weigh a little more than I should. I'm four feet and eleven inches and almost ninety pounds. I have gained a lot of weight recently, and I don't like it. When I was in fourth grade, I was only four feet tall and 48 pounds. I wish I could stay that way.
I think I need to start eating less, exercising more, or something like that. Whenever I eat more than I usually do, I feel awful about it. So far, I have tried to make sure I don't eat too much at meals, and I do a lot of sit-ups and yoga. When I start school again, I'll be doing PE every day, too. I'm trying to eat only 1300 calories a day. Is that good enough, or should I eat less than that?
No matter what I try, I always end up gaining weight in the end. I would really appreciate any advice on how to lose weight. Thank you!
According to the weight chart I use when answering this type of question, see link below. You are depending on your skeletal frame size as much as anywhere from 23 to 44 pounds under weight.
Based on this chart you actually need to gain some weight. Just how much if any weight you might need to gain is really something your doctor should be telling you. Your doctor is the one, other than mom and dad, who knows you best. Your doctor knows all about your unique physiology and based on this knowledge the doctor can determine what you correct weight range should be.
Another factor that needs to be taken into consideration, especially for females is that puberty is reshaping your body. Your baby fat is feeding the changes from child to young women. Your entire body is being redefined. You gaining curves and definition in all the places a young woman wants this to happen. Your breast are growing, your butt is taking shape and your legs and thighs are defining themselves.
Your baby fat feeds the mechanics of this redefining of your body. When the baby fat is gone the body needs a certain amount of fuel, food, daily to keep up with its needs. If you do not take in enough fuel then the body begins to feed upon itself. If it can't find the fuel it needs to sustain itself the body starts to shut down those systems it feels it doesn't need to support its primary function. This is your brain. The body will continue to shutdown different life functions until all that is left is brain function.
This is what kills people who are anorexic. There body continues to feed upon itself until there is nothing left to feed upon.
You are far too young to be fixated on your weight. I agree you do not want to be overweight though it is better to be 10 pounds overweight then 10 pounds underweight. If you eat 3 well balanced healthy meals, snack with healthy snacks and you can occasionally have some junk food. That along with a proper exercise program, which does not mean working out each day. You can maintain a healthy weight.
To find out what your proper weight should be means you ask your doctor as I said above. The chart I shared a link to is based on averages. Your doctor can give you specifics based on the doctor's specific knowledge of you.
Do not try to look like the models in the magazines. Besides being made up by professional makeup artists and dressed by professional dressers, the pictures are airbrushed to give the image the advertiser desires.
So see you doctor and find out just what your best weight should be. I'm betting the doctor will tell you you're underweight and need to gain at least 10 to 15 pounds. If so please listen to the doctor.
http://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm
I have horrible anxiey and it causes me a lot of problems. The main problem this causes is the lack of ability to talk to anyone. I can not go up and talk to anyone for just conversational purposes unless they talk to me first. That is how I made friends. This is honestly annoying the crap out of me
a very disappointing situation that just came from it. There was a tutor I worked with for math at my college. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. My class ended about two months ago. I had to go to college for something I thought it would be a great opportunity to just go in the tutor lab and say hi and chat with her a bit. A friend of mine said he was going to be there as well so he said come in at the same time to work on some stuff so he said to me come when he is there. This is perfect because having a friend of mine there can make me more comfortable and help me create coversation. Now it is not like I want to get in this girls pants or something (hell she is engaged) but I just wanted to have a conversation about stuff and not be a completely anonymous person. I am so envious of all the people who are able to just go up to people and just chat. I can't do that at all.
so I go there, but instead of going inside I get too anxious and just paced around outside of the place for like ten minutes and then just when I was thinking of going inm, she leaves (turns out she was leaving early today). I am so frustrated now and filled with regret. My freaking anxiety totally prevented me from just going in just to say hi.
there's a chance I can see her again some time but I have no idea what the schedule is going to be like. And with my friend being there today, this was such a perfect opportunity and I wasted it,
I am now going to be feeling miserable for a while. No don't get me wrong this is not a huge problem that people should be losing their sleep over or anything but this is still frustrating to me. I really want to learn something from this and let it be the "last straw" moment.
You sound a lot like me when I was your age. You're probably a very introverted person as I was. Which is funny for me as I ended up making my living as a sales representative for 3 of the largest manufactures of products I represented in the U.S.
What I can tell you is for me part of this anxiety I had got less of a problem as I got older. What was left took work on my part to overcome. I must have been good at overcoming it as for the next 30 years I spent selling I remained at the top of the list of Sales representatives in the company.
Now with my career behind me and in my retirement I have learned over the years there are shortcuts for most everything. My dad was a lot like me as well so I believe being introverted may be a family trait. My dad took a Dale Carnegie public speaking course. This did wonders for him and allowed him to take a job he would never had applied for before taking the position. In the new position he increased his pay by almost half again. Then about I think it was 4 or 5 years later he was asked to take a regional position increasing his pay significantly again.
Introverted people tend to lack the self-confidence needed, as in this instance, to just walk up to people and start a conversation. They also fear rejection more than other people might.
Rejection is a weird thing. I learned in my sales career that when people rejected what I was saying or presenting; they were not rejecting me. They were rejecting my product, proposal or my company. I was able to handle rejection much better once I learned that. When a stranger I might approach to talk to rejects me, again it is no me personally they are rejecting. They are rejecting the unknown about me. They do not know me therefore they have no reason to want to talk with me. Some people are like that and reject the unknown out of hand while others will talk with you to see if you might be someone they might want to know more about or even date.
For people like you and me to overcome this anxiety take time and maturity along with a large amount of effort on our part. There are some short cuts we can use to increase our self-confidence such as the Dale Carnegie course or seeing a therapist for help.
I found a way to overcome this problem and so will you. It takes time and effort on your part. Just remember if someone says no it is not a rejection of you personally. Just move on to the next person you want to talk.
It would definitely help if you went to places with activities or interests that you have interest or knowledge of to offer in conversation. Common ground makes it easier to have conversations.
So... My friend came to my house with nothing, a few hours later she had a pack of cigars. The same ones my parents smoke. She had some story of how she got them, but I'm positive she's lying. I don't smoke and I don't want it blamed on me when it's found they're missing. I want her to give them back, and tell the truth... How do I do it?
Friends do not steal from each other so I do not see how this girl is much of a friend. Probably by this time she has either smoked the Cigars or given them to a boyfriend so getting them back is most likely not going to be possible.
There is an old saying, "The truth will set you free." What you have written to us about is a very good example of this saying. You suspect you friend has stolen your fathers cigars. At some point your parents will notice the theft and suspect you may have something to do with it.
If you wait to see if your parents approach you with the fact that cigars are missing and you say you believe your friend stole them. Your parents may not believe you. If you go to them now before they discover the missing cigars or before they ask you about them and tell them you suspect your friend stole their cigars and why. It is much more believable as you came to them first. Which is the essence of the saying.
As I said your friend can't be much of a friend if she is stealing from your house leaving you to get in trouble. This time it is cigars. Next time it may be something more valuable maybe a piece of moms or your jewelry. By saying something now you can prevent the next time and get your friend the help she needs to stop her from stealing.
She stole from you. Where else is she stealing from. Is it possible she is also shoplifting. If so that could land her in big trouble. Being proactive and telling your parents what you believe has happened is not being mean you may actually be helping her should your parents wish to say something to her parents.
I'm 14 and have terrible periods, bad acne, and sexually active. My mom has mentioned putting me on birth control before, I said no because weight is a very big concern of mine. I am going to the GYN soon and I want to ask her about it. But, knowing her, she will be stubborn and prescribe me a kind that makes me gain weight . Therefore, I would like to be able to ask her for a specific one. Any recommendations?
First and most important is: If you live in the USA mom, now that you are 14, no longer has any say over your reproductive system and your medical needs for it. By federal law known as HIPPA which stands for, Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act.
Part of this act is to protect the privacy of patient medical information. When congress wrote this law they added to it a section for young people 14 years of age and older giving the confidentiality and privacy over their reproductive heath.
Congress did this not to give young people license to have sex. They did so to insure young people would see a doctor for problems with their reproductive systems. Problems that they may be to embarrassed or scared to talk to a parent about.
This law allows you to make appoints to see and be examined by doctors for anything related to your reproductive system. Your mom or any other family member may not be in the exam room with you unless you give permission. This is so you can speak openly to your doctor. Nothing you and your doctor discus can be said back to mom or anyone else without your expressed written permission to your doctor. This would include any and all medications the doctor may prescribe including birth control. Only you and your doctor can discuss this issue, mom has no say in the matter.
When you arrive for your doctors visit or call in advance and advice the doctors staff that you wish to invoke your privacy rights under HIPPA for all visits with the doctor. The doctors staff will take it from there. When it is time to see the doctor, mom will be told she can no longer be in the exam room with you and why.
Mom may not like it though their is nothing she can do about it. No doctor will risk their license to practice and 5 years in jail because your mom is upset. This is the law and no court will give her injunctive relief as the law has stood the test of the U. S. Supreme Court.
Short answer to your questions is: You do not have to know a specific medication to ask for it. In fact it is best to discuss with your doctor the side affects of the medication the doctor is recommending. You should always discuss with the doctor why the doctor is recommending this medication over others. Many times a doctor will chose a medication over another based on your individual physiology which is why asking for a specific medication is not a good idea. Let the doctor recommend one then discuss it with the doctor.
Note: As a minor under the law. Your parents are still responsible for your health safety and welfare. If mom feels you need to see a doctor it is her responsibility to take you to one. If that examination includes a female exam or anything to do with your reproductive system you rights under HIPPA override her rights.
Meaning you still have to see the doctor Once in the exam room it is just you and the doctor, mom still must wait in the waiting room. The results of the examination pertaining to your reproductive system are confidential between you and the doctor. Mom cannot be told of what the doctor found or did not find or what you may have been treated for.
If you have any questions concerning HIPPA and your rights you can write me a private message and I will try to answer them or research them on the web using a search engine and the word "HIPPA"
I knnow, this seems weird.. but people make a little fun of me for it.
Ok, so I have blue eyes, like, really blue, and there's what my mom calls a 'sun' in the middle if them, whitch is basically a wavy ring of yellow right around my pupils. And it's not always there (for instance,right now and whenever I get ready for bed it's never there) My friends always notice itwhen I'm around someone cute or when I'm upset, whitch is when my eyes are mostly blue, but the ring is there. But when I cry my eyes are practically almost half yellow. ?? what does it mean? My bff says it's almost like I'm blushing wih my eyes
This is really one of those questions were I do not think any of us has the expertise to answer. As long as your eyesight is not affected and there are no ill effects from this I would say your eyes are normal for you. Then again I'm not a doctor and this question can only be answered by an Ophthalmologist who is a medical doctor that is specifically trained in the care of the eye.
If there is nothing medically wrong with your eyes. Then my personal opinion is that you have very special eyes that are very sexy.
Just a note from someone old enough to offer grandfatherly advice. People, especially young people, tend to make fun of things they don't understand or think is not normal. Normal though is a relative word. Meaning what is normal for me may be abnormal for you and others. Your eyes are most likely normal for you.
You have pretty blue eyes. Blue eyes are always pretty, especially in a women, because it is rare to have them. The halo around the pupils just may be a refraction of the way the light hits them at certain times and depending how moist your eyes are. I can't say for I'm not a doctor.
My advice is to see an Ophthalmologist and have your eyes checked if this is cause for concern to you. The fact that you have cause for concern is reason enough to see the doctor. You do not have to be having problems. The concern causes stress and stress can cause problems for you, Seeing a doctor can relieve that concern and the stress. Have your questions ready for the doctor to answer.
If you have never seen an Ophthalmologist before then this is something you should do anyway. Proper eye care says you should see an Ophthalmologist every 5 years for a complete eye exam as part of a proper eye care program.
Under $1,000
My personal preference is for Dell computers both laptop and desktops. I like the fact that I can either go online and take a preconfigured unit, configure my own unit or call their sales phone number and talk with one of their computer specialist about my specific needs and configure a unit. I have done all three and have never had a days worth of problems.
Dell builds their units to order. Stock units, which are still built to order ship generally within 3 to 5 days depending on their backlog. Customer specific orders or the stock modified orders are quoted as two week delivery times. I have never waited that long.
Best of all concerning any laptop you may purchase is the price. With the popularity of Tablet computers you should be able to find what you're looking for from any manufacturer be it through online purchase or at a big box store for less than half of what you are looking to spend.
Since this laptop is for school I do suggest purchasing the in-home service policy. Depending on if you are in college or high school the laptop could be subject to damage not usually seen with business laptop use. Having the repair shop come to you is worth the extra cost should the laptop get damaged and need repair.