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Stuck in the past....
I'm a 16 year old girl. I'm so used to living in the past and I have a serious issue with growing up. I'm very nervous about things that will be happening in the near future, like getting a job, getting my license, graduating high school, etc. Other kids my age seem to be so excited about these things while I feel a pit in my stomach!! What are some ways to overcome these things and not feel as nervous?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Relax as the others have told you, you are normal. In fact I would go as far as saying many of your friends who are talking so excitedly about the future are also suffering some anxiety over what the future holds. As I said this is normal we all, even us adults have our concerns over the future. Especially the part about handing the car keys to our children. Fact is when the time comes we harness those concerns and deal with the present based on our preplanning and what the present shows us to be.
Yes I know that is about as clear as mud, right. What I'm saying is that to worry about what the future holds is normal and can be good for it helps you prepare. To worry about the future to the point of being frozen to the past is wrong and harmful as we cannot live in the past we need to move forward.
If want and I would suggest you need to do is to sit down with pen and paper and write down what concerns you with what the future holds. Graduating high school is a concern that is a present concern. So what need to do is list what you need to accomplish between now and when you should graduate. Once you make this list you can formulate a plan to accomplish what's need to graduate.
Getting a license. In most states there is a written test and a road test. Some states require a drivers education course. Find out what your state requires. You can find this out by going to your state's DMV website. Make a list of the requirements, formulate a plan.
Getting a job. Are we talking about a part-time job for after school or are you talking about a full time job after graduation. You should be thinking about a part-time job after school and planning on college then in your Junior year of college start planning a job search for full time employment.
For high school students the type of part-time jobs they can do are controlled by the state and the working papers needed for them are issued by your school. So the first thing you need to do is find out what restrictions are placed on the type of jobs your state has and the hours you can work. Once you have this information make a list of the type of jobs you would like to do. Then get up early, before the places get busy and the managers have time to talk with you and visit these places and ask for a job. Dress nice like you were going to a nice restaurant.
The most important thing about the future is not to worry about it but to meet it head on by planning in advance. A plan is a road map and road maps are just that a planned route that can be changed based on changes in your planning needs.
So as I said in the beginning; relax, stop worrying and start planning instead. By planning you will also get excited for you will be ready when the future comes.
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There's nothing wrong with feeling this way. It's normal. I was having the same problem when I was 16, that was three years ago and I'm still feeling that way.
I always wondered why all the other kids were excited for it. I did somewhat understand, I mean it's more freedom but a lot didn't realize that means it's a lot more responsibility.
I think what helped me was when I talked to my dad. He knew I got nervous before everything I ever did. I got my permit when I was 17 because I really didn't care to learn how to drive and I got my license when I was 18. I was really nervous about it. What he said has really helped me with almost every aspect of my life. He told me, "What's the worst thing that's going to happen? If you don't pass your driving test, you can just take it again." Then I kept putting myself down about getting a job. He said, "What's the worst that's going to happen? You won't get the job? It's not the end of the world, there are tons of jobs out there."
Same with college. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. A lot of kids I knew rushed into it and spent lots of money but realized they chose the wrong career path. I was so stressed out because all my friends were going away to college and I didn't know what I wanted. He told me that I should just try new things and see what I liked.
I think things like this will always be bittersweet. You'll be excited but you'll also be nervous because honestly, change is scary.
Just don't be afraid and embrace it. Remind yourself that if you don't pass, there is always a next time and if you don't get a job, there's always more. Don't stress out.
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You sound like a mini me when I was your age. I can tell you that feeling will never go away, but I have come to believe that it's a good thing :-) . That nervous feeling shows that we really care about achieving our goals. But there definitely is a way to dilute that nervous feeling and to enjoy yourself/get excited. Try thinking about how relieved you will be when you get your license, and ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen? In your case of getting a job, maybe you apply and don't get it, so what? There are hundreds of other places that you can apply to, there will be another job out there. Also try to not overwhelm yourself, think about one goal at a time. Graduating high school is more of a futuristic goal, while getting a job is more immediate, so focus your nerves on getting a job and calming yourself down in that aspect. I feel like my answer was a little scattered, probably because I'm writing it at 1:30 am but I was eager to help you because my situation was so identical. If I didn't make this clear or if you want me to elaborate, I definitely can for you, hopefully I helped! Ps.. I always say that you should be worried when you're not nervous, which is what I meant by that feeling being good :-)
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It's normal to be nervous about these things.
However, All these things not only mean responsibility but it means freedom and independence.
You are 16, You are used to having things handed. It becomes scary because you are now entering a part in your life where you are becoming a young lady and are beginning to take on more responsibility.
If you are not ready to get your license, Then waiting is fine. Nobody says you have to get your license at 16. I was 21 when I decided to get mine.
Independence isn't a bad thing and to be honest growing up isn't all bad either. I found once I moved out, got a job that my life is much happier, I'm happier and life is just damn good.
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