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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Hi. About 6 months back I found that my husband had an emotional affair. I confronted him and he claimed is not true. later I found proof that he in fact was emotionally attached to a woman who was also married. It turned into an ugly fight and we were seperate for a month. He asked me to return for the sake of our children. He had still not acknowledged nor apologised for his cheating. I can't sleep at times thinking about this. I start crying mid day when no one is at home.
He still had contact with her but for completely different reasons,and I believe it 100%. But I cannot believe and accept the fact that he was emotionally intimate with another woman. I don't know how to forget and foregive him. We are back in our relationship now but I always feel that my marriage has no meaning.
He is generally not a communicative person and this has put me in a miserable position. Your advice on this is appreciated.
It would help to know why your husband still has contact with this woman for I believe this may be the crux of the problem. As the saying goes it takes two to tango. This women is just as guilty and possibly more so, depending on who sought the other out and why, as he is.
If it is because they work in the same office doing jobs that require them to work together. Then the only real solution to eliminating her from his life is to ask your husband to find a new job. Easy enough to say much harder to do in to today's work market plus what will he be giving up in the way of pay and benefits his tenure at this job gives him.
I will not belittle the fact that you are hurt by your husband's emotional affair, you should be hurt. An emotional affair can and sometimes is just one step away from a physical affair. You say you believe that his continued contact with this women is for different reason and you believe that 100%. This is good as this is a big step in your healing.
You say that your husband is hard to communicate with. This is a very big part of this problem. Without the two of you being able to sit down and talk about what has happened and why. You are not going to heal and this will continue to fester in you. You may be able to continue in some form with a marriage between you, even if it is just for the sake of the children which I do not recommend. If you do though every little thing that is wrong and goes wrong will go directly back to this emotional affair. It will be the albatross around your necks, or the elephant in the room for however long you two remain married.
There are two things you can do to learn to communicate in general and communicate about this incident. You two can sit down and stare at each other and try to talk to each other. The other way is to bring in a disinterested this party to lead the discussions. This can be a marriage counselor or a psychologist.
I recommend the psychologist as you will get two for the price one with a psychologist. Besides leading the discussions on his affair and how it has hurt you. Your husband can work with the psychologist to find out what caused him to go there in the first place.
I believe once you start talking you will find that your husband cannot give you a reason for why this happened. Working with the psychologist he will learn why and how to prevent whatever caused it from happening in the future.
I believe this is the best option for saving your marriage. To stay together for the sake of the kids is wrong. Children are smarter than we give them credit for. They will sense the tension between their parents and it will hurt them more than a separation or a divorce will. Give the therapy route a try as I truly believe this is the best option to save your marriage. Your husbands EAP program at work will help find a psychologist and pay for the first few sessions.
A few weeks ago a teacher left my school and, as I was very close to him, I got him a thank you card (he's helped my an awful lot over the past year - almost acting as a psychologist for me). When I gave him the card he said that he'd open it when I wasn't there if I wanted (I told him he could open it then). I didn't think much of it but then my friend came in and gave him a card and he just opened it straight away without saying anything.
I didn't think much of it at the time but then I was talking to my friend a few days ago and she said that sounded a bit weird. Now I'm really worried about what he'd thought I'd written in the card or something... And thinking back he's said other things to me like 'you hide a lot' and 'is there anything you want to tell me'.
I'm just very confused and don't want him to think bad of me. It's been really bugging me the last day or two and I feel stupid for not noticing beforehand when he was still at school and I could talk to him about it.
I would stop worrying about it. You and this other girl had two different relationships with this teacher. I'm sure your teacher felt that your card to him was far more personal, one you may have felt you wanted him to read in private. Whereas the note from the other girl he felt was more general in nature sort of like; thanks Mr. X for a great year, good luck at your new school. That sort of thing.
When you told him he could read it while you were with him. That told him that while your note might be more personal than others he was receiving, you would not be embarrassed watching him read it.
The other things he said to you are somewhat normal especially if he has sensed that you might have a crush on him. Good looking young male teachers know it is not unusual for young female students to form crushes on them. A good teacher will watch for signs of these crushes and ask or say things such as he said to you lest you embarrass yourself by saying or doing something inappropriate.
So again I see nothing here to worry about. Enjoy the new school year and your new teachers. Concentrate on this year and this years school work.
my question is do anyone know if social secruity cut your befits off if you attend job corps need advice as soon as possible !
It would depend on the type of benefit you are receiving and your age. Without this information it is impossible to say. Go to their website ssa.gov and check the FAQ for the type of benefits you are receiving.
We had sex 4 times on my first to fertile days, 3 times on the day I was ovulating, and 2 times on my last day being fertile. Today is the day I am supposed to start my period. It is not here yet, however it is only 9am. I really want to be pregnant but I don't want any of my family to know we're trying unless it happens. How long should I wait before taking a test?
Each test kit has a recommend time to wait after insemination. I would suggest you purchase a kit and follow the directions on the kit.
The general rule is to wait ten days after insemination. Though I believe for better result a slightly longer wait is better. The package directions will tell you.
First of all, my husband has many excellent qualities. He works very hard, is a great provider, and a loving, hands on father to our three kids. But, he was sexually abused as a preteen by a family friend. His parents were never really around, and he was supposed to be homeschooled but really only has the equivalent of an 8th grade education. He has worked hard to overcome this and owns a successful business. He had a horrible upbringing, and I know that is the reasoning for many of his actions. First of all, he drinks everyday. He doesn't drink and drive, and he doesn't go to bars, but he unwinds each night with a few vodka and cranberries. I feel like he uses this to cope with painful memories and to help deal with the stress of life. At cooksouts or special occasions though, he tends to overdo it and becomes very loud and obnoxious. This has caused a lot of tension between us. Finally, I feel like he has no patience with me. He literally blows up at me for things that I think are small and trivial, but to him....they are huge. In his words, he says I "....jump in his shit." For example, if we are at a cookout, and he has too much to drink, I might pull him aside and say, "You need to tone it down....you are getting really loud." Then, he will literally blow up at me. He doesn't do it out loud though right then and there, he will wait until we are home and alone and start screaming. Or he will start texting me things like, "I hate you....I wish you were dead." etc. I guess my question is....I want to stay married. I really do and I value his great qualities. But, I feel hurt when he says such hateful things to me. And, I feel like he should be able to cope with small, trivial issues better than he does. I try to tell him that he gets upset about the smallest things and there is really no reason to start a 3 day long fight over one statement I make at a cookout. I told him it's fine to be upset at me for saying it, but don't tell me you hate me and you wish I were dead. He has no patience with me at all and I'm getting exhausted from these blowups. How can I get my husband to realize that it's not worth blowing up at me for such small things?
I agree with you that the molestation you husband suffered may be the root cause of his problem. I also believe, from what you have written, that he has worked hard to overcome the other deficits of his childhood which is also a causation to his problem. Your husband not only has a problem with alcohol and his temper. He also has a problem expressing himself when he is angry.
One small benefit to his blow ups if you want to call it a benefit. Is that he waits to get home to blow up. This tells me his words may say one thing but his actions say he still respects you as his wife, the mother of his children and a women. If he didn't respect you in this manner he would blow up on the spot.
The cause for him being this way if fairly obvious. This is something you are not going to be able to fix by yourself. You mentioned his parents were not around much which leads me to believe that when and if they knew or found out about the abuse they did little or nothing about it. The proper thing to have been done at that time was professional counseling should have been given to him to help him deal with what happened.
This professional counseling is still what he needs to help deal with all the problems of his childhood, not just the abuse. There is an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. The operate a 24/7 hotline you can call for help. Actually he should call and talk to one of their call takers who are trained to help him and help him find a professional in your neighborhood to work with. These are generally psychologists trained to help people with your husbands problems based on childhood abuse.
Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. Try and get you husband to call. If he won't then you call. Talk with them and hopefully through you they can connect you with the right professional. You can start seeing them and between you should be able to convince your husband to come for therapy
I accidentally hit the back of my head on a corner (not sharp) of my cabinet. It isn't bleeding or anything (It didn't bleed at all), but I'm kind of scared I might have a concussion or something... I remember who I am and where I am, obviously, haha. I can't go to the doctor.
Also, if age matters, I'm 13.
The best thing to do is to tell your parents and let mom or dad look at you. IF you're dizzy or feel nauseous those are signs of a concussion. IF you are unsure you or your parents can call 911. The EMT's can evaluate you and advise you if the feel you have a concussion. Their service is generally no charge as it is part of what your parents taxes pay for.
As a retired firefighter I can tell you we would rather come out for a call like this. Then to have you ignore symptoms and be called out on a call where we might have to do live saving procedures.
I seriously doubt you hit your head hard enough to cause any damage to yourself. But when you do something like this and you are unsure you need to tell a parent or responsible adult. As a parent are main purpose in your life is to see to your safety and well being. Part of this is to check out any injuries you may incur and decide if you need to be seen by a doctor.
My advice is to tell mom or dad what happened. Le one of them look at you and feel around the area you injured. Then let them decide if you need to see a doctor. Don't make financial decisions for your parents.
I used to be an artist, back in school. I used to be a musician. That weird kid who knows he's weird and doesn't care, because that's who he is.
So what if many people didn't like me because of who I was? So what if they mocked me and tried to make me feel bad? It never worked, because the friends I had loved me for it.
I had skills that even I can't imagine(not being cocky, others always thought better of my art and music than I did), and I loved to draw and paint and play guitar and keyboard. I could sit down with nothing but a piece of paper and a box of charcoal and get lost in time for who knows how long, visiting places I'd never been, places no one had ever been, just completely in tune with myself, and for a few hours, nothing else would exist.
I'd go for what felt like 5 minutes and realized the whole day slipped away, and in front of me lay the image I saw in my mind.
I even had people offer $300-$400 for something I drew or painted. So I was going to go to college for 3D animation. I loved art, and I was good with computers, so it seemed like a good idea. The traditional arts don't make much money today, so this was a good compromise I could make. One that I could live with and love every day for the rest of my life, with enough money to afford paints and paper and charcoal and musical instruments on the side.
So I was dead set on going to college, but being a young, healthy, white male with parents who make good money, there was no such thing as grants for me. I didn't get any scholarships. And I certainly couldn't afford any loans - not yet.
And so I looked for a job. I searched and I searched, and the only place hiring was my least favorite fast-food restaurant paying minimum wage, part time. I've worked there over a year and a half now.
I used to be creative, weird, eccentric, making something new and beautiful every day, enjoying life even when it could be rough. People noticed me. People I didn't even know EXISTED knew me better than I thought they possibly could.
But now I'm not creative. I have artist's block. I'm a plain, boring guy working a dead-end job for minimum wage, 15 hours a week, pushing out the same old crap day in and day out. The same worthless crap. Shoveling it into the faces of plain, boring people. And the occasional success, who rubs it in my face with their $100k cars in the drive-through. I blend in. I'm boring, and most of my old friends consider me just a memory. No one knows me anymore.
I'm not me, and I'm trapped by this awful job that makes me hate every minute of this all. I'm trapped because I don't even make enough money to keep my car on the road.
What do I do to get out of this mess? How do I get back to being me?
I'm no psychologist so this is simply my impression of who I see in your letter. In your letter to us I see the artist and the musician you say you were that is now lost.
You have written a letter in a manner that only someone with artistic and musical talents would or could write. IT is not the type of letter someone who is a writer would write or a business person would compose. Your letter not only articulates your problem but does so in a very moving way. Moving meaning as in a song or poem style.
Because of this I do not think the artist or musician in you is lost. It is my feeling you have just buried these attributes based on what I will call an assumption that your dream will never be. Never assume anything for when you break down that word what you get is; ass/u/me.
When my son went to college my wife and I made a very comfortable income. Yet there were grants available to him such as PELL grants and others. He was also given student loans.
I suggest that if you were to get into college what you believe is lost will reemerge. What you need to do is contact the college or colleges you wish to attend. Talk with the people in financial aid directly. Ask about what grants and financial aid, student loan and other monetary assistance you, not your parents, may qualify for. Also search the web for grants, and scholarships. There are many out there going unused because people do not know of them.
Now my son was also a volunteer firefighter and a military veteran. As a volunteer firefighter this state offered financial aid, a small stipend in return for his service to the community and of course he had his military benefits.
Now you may not believe this but there is need for those with artistic and musical talents in the military. You may want to consider joining a reserve unit or regular service unit and enjoy the educational benefits for your service.
These benefits are available while you serve and after. If you join a reserve unit they will schedule your training around your school schedule school . Once your basic and advanced training is complete you give them one weekend a month and two weeks a year for active duty training which your unit will schedule around your school calendar. They did so for my son. There is the off chance now that the unit will once again be called to active duty which with the war winding down is not suppose to happen any more at least for this conflict. I offer this as an option that cost you only your time.
Last but not least. You get out of life what you put into it. Your talents are not lost, not to what I see. If you want an education bad enough you may have to work at finding away to gain that education just a bit harder than others. Remember that saying, "If you build it they will come." In this case if you work at it you will find it. The resources you need are out there you just need to find them.
So stop feeling sorry for yourself. Pick up the phone and call the schools, go to the banks and ask about students loans, try different banks as each have different rules for lending. Use the web to search for grants and scholarships. Also use your talents to fund your education. People offered to pay for you work. Then find a way to sell your works.
I don't mean to lecture you. I have been doing this for a long time and I can tell a lot about a person from what and how they write to us. In you I see a very talented person allowing his talent to go to waste because he is feeling sorry for himself. Well the pity party is over and it is time you get back on the ball and help yourself.
My grandma choked me Sunday night and I did not do anything. I am 17 about to be 18
If you live with your grandmother or she with you and your parents she has no right to touch you or discipline you in this manner. To touch you in this manner or to attempt to discipline you in this manner is child abuse, and depending on circumstance could even be considered attempted murder and or assault.
Given your age you may be above the age of consent so just what the legal charges could be would hinge on your age. No matter what the charges would be if you live with her or she with you and you now fear for your safety then you need to report what happened to the proper authorities.
If your parents are no longer alive or are for some reason unable to care for you and is why you are living with your grandmother. Then you have every right to report this incident to the police. You should not live in fear of being harmed in your own home. It matters not why your grandmother choked you; even if you did do something to enrage her. As long as she was not in fear of her own life she had no reason to harm you in that manner.
If you are reluctant to report this to the police then I suggest if you are still in high school. Talk to a trusted teacher or your school principal. Once you tell them what has happened there are procedures in place for them to help you and see to it that you remain safe in your own home.
Have sex when your on your on time of the month
I'm not sure what you are asking her. Are you asking is it possible to have sex while you're having your period? If so the answer is yes.
For some women sex is the very last thing they want to do while having their periods, for others it is a time when they feel a greater need to have sex. Some men foolishly will outright refuse to have sex with a woman who is having her period though there is no reason he shouldn't; provided the proper precautions are taken.
What precautions should be taken. First; you want to protect whatever you are using to have sex on, the bed, the couch or the floor. Place a couple of absorbent towels under you to absorb any leakage. Second; just incase you are one of the 20% of women who may ovulate during your period make sure your partner wears a condom to protect against pregnancy, even if you are on birth control. Wearing a condom may also make your partner feel better about having sex during your period. The myth that you can't get pregnant during your period is just that, a myth for about 20% of women.
Once you have taken these precaution go ahead and enjoy yourselves. When you're finished you should offer to clean your partner up. Most men are squeamish when it comes to blood. Then take the towels and put them into the washer in cold water add some bleach if they are white or color fast. When dried the towels will show no evidence of having had sex while on your period.
You are not unusual if you crave sex during your period. While I do not have a statistic as to how many women crave sex at this time it is a larger percentage than those who do not. Some men in long term relationships with women crave sex with their lover during this time. It can be a wonderful experience for both partners.
Just a note here. My wife and I found that sex during her period helped relieve her cramping. Benefit to me was an extra week of sex each month. I was those men one who found their lover very much more desirable when she was on her period. It was the pheromones she was giving of during this time. My wife and I have been married for 42 years.
I'm male/18. Recently graduated high school. The first half of high school was kind of depressing. But then things started to get fun and more positive. Recently, it seems the happier I become, the more and more I fear death. It used to never bother me, but now it gives me the chills, as if I'm just realizing it. I know I'm young, but all the time I spend with friends, family, my band, my girlfriend, I can't handle the fact that it will all end, and that there might not be anything afterwards. No music, no love, no pleasure, no people. It's really scary if we just cease to exist completely. People might say, if you're dead, you won't feel anything. But that's the thing, I want to feel, and experience. I am atheist, I do not believe in any gods, but I do consider the possibility of an afterlife. Although I cannot know of anything beyond this life, I do know one thing is certain. All I know, is that I'm experiencing. But I do not know what exactly I'm experiencing. Now, if the physics and building blocks of the universe allow me to experience consciousness once, and these building blocks cannot be destroyed, wouldn't that imply the possibility of remaining conscious? Or being conscious in another form? Either way I see the alternate as a possibility as well, that it just fades to nothing. Maybe I can't just face the reality that it might just happen. Either way, its been bothering me lately.
Relax your normal. Everyone at one time or another comes face to face with the fact that they are mortal and their time on earth is limited. None of us knows for sure just how long we will have to enjoy the life we have. The one thing we should do is not live in fear of dyeing. The old saying of; "You live, you pay taxes and you die and the first two are somewhat optional is fairly true.
No one knows for sure if there is a hereafter. Those who believe in god and religion do based on their faith. To know for certain is impossible for no one has come back to tell us and their is no science to prove or disprove.
It is very possible that the hereafter is nothing but a myth to make us mortals less fearful of death. That dyeing is not to be feared as we go to a better place. I can't say for I don't know. I am not an atheist like you, I am an agnostic in that I believe in god just not religion.
What I will say is this. To live in total fear of dying is wrong. You will die some day that is a fact. When that day will happen is unknown. There are certain things you can do for yourself to forestall this event for as long as possible. If you are finding yourself living in total fear of dying then I suggest seeking the help of a professional therapist such as psychologist who is better trained to help you with this question then I am.
I find it difficult to be assertive at work.
There is a task at work that I keep being made to do, and I find it extremely stressful.
I am expected to do it because they took the time to train me, and because its expected of me as an employee who has been there for years (compared to people who have been there for only months).
The problem is, every time I tell my bosses that I don't want to do it, they don't really understand. When I am rostered on to do it, I refuse to, and I make them find someone else to do it. I have said to them "I already told (our store manager) and (our rostering manager) that I can't do it", and I have told them I don't want to do it because it is stressful and makes me anxious. No matter how I tell them I am still pestered about it. I get asked to do it, I am STILL asked questions like:
Why can't you do it?
Why do you find it stressful?
Who have you told about this?
I know that I am not very assertive when I tell them... I am usually like "Oh, it is just a bit stressful for me, it just makes me a little anxious", and I try to remain pleasant and smile, which I know makes it worse, but at my work, if you do something to annoy them, they stop giving you shifts all together. Also I don't want to seem like a drama queen, since everyone else who does this task doesn't find it stressful at all.
Please help me with: How do I word it? How do I actually tell them it is too stressful, without being aggressive or over-dramatic?
It would help if I knew what the assignment was and why you find it stressful. It also sounds like management knows this job is not something anyone likes to do and rotates it among employees. I say this based on what you have written.
Your employer has the right to know why you find certain tasks stressful for it may have been something that did not come out during your interview for the position. This may not be your fault as they may have not asked the right questions.
An example of this would be. If this task requires you to climb a ladder to stock shelves or take inventory. Then during the interview they should have asked if you have a fear of heights or climbing ladders. If this were to be the problem and they did not say anything in the interview about this, then they are in the wrong. If they did and you did not say anything about your fear of heights or climbing then you are in the wrong.
TO be assertive you have to have proper footing. Using the example above. The assertive way to address this would be. "You never said I would have to climb ladders as part of my employment, if you did I would have told you I fear climbing." That is an assertive answer to that situation.
If you would care to write back in a private message with more detailed information. I would be happy to try and help you.
So me and my neighbor havent talked in 2 years until last tuesday (we used to be best friends) and we started riding bikes again and now i feel like were supposed to ride every night and i just get upset and aggravated if we dont. Idk what to do but now ive been feeling like this everynight and its just depressing!! What can i do to stop constantly hoping were gonna ride bikes every night so i wont be so depressed about it?? Help please!?
You have allowed yourself to set your expectations too high. This happens to all of us from time to time with the end result being what is happening to you. You feel depressed when your expectations are not met. This is all very normal.
There are a couple of different ways or things you can do to overcome this. The first and the hardest of course is to lower your expectations as to when and how many times a week you will actually rides bikes with him. This is something you do for yourself. The hard part is making yourself believe in your lowered expectations.
The next thing you can do is talk to him. Tell him how much you enjoy bike riding with him and how you look forward to those time when he is available to join you for a ride. Now I know this is being a little forward of you to do this. Though it also comes under the heading of nothing ventured nothing gained. If he seems to agree that he too enjoys riding with you. You can say I understand you have other things you have to do but is it possible we can schedule certain times during the week to ride together.
What this does is lowers your expectations by turning them into a joint expectation. If for some reason on a day you are suppose to ride together one of you cannot make it the proper thing do is to call the other and say you can't make it that day and try to reschedule for another. This should eliminate that depression you feel when you anticipate him riding an he does not go riding that day.
In just about everything we do today we have to communicate with someone. If you wish to build any type of relationship, even if it is just to bike ride with him, then you must communicate with him and he with you for that matter. None of us are mind readers.
I have no idea if this is a guy or a girl. What type of relationship you wish to build with this person. I have made certain assumptions in writing my answer to you because you did not communicate fully who this is and what you want for this initial relationship. If you haven't communicated this to them then they have no idea of your interest either.
If He Says He Wants To Give A Bad Kiss. What Does That Mean ?? 13 Female
What I believe he is asking is to perform oral sex on you. While this is not exactly incest it is a close second cousin to it. This man is your brother in-law, your sister's husband. To have any type of relationship with him other than that of a brother/sister type relationship is wrong in so many ways. Not the least of which is how hurtful it would be to your sister.
You need to tell mom and dad what is going on and let them handle this. I'm sure dad will take him aside and have a good talking to him about respecting both his daughters.
You need to stay away from him and not to be alone with him at any time. Especially until your much older and can protect yourself from him.
I live in Nz and want to buy some nikes from the U.S but cant ship them directly over Nike wont allow it is there any other way i could get them over?
If the problem is governmental restrictions against Nike then there may not be a way to get a pair shipped into NZ to you. For the only way I can see that happening is having a third party buy them for you in a Country they are sold in and send them to you.
The problem comes in when they come through customs in NZ. IF the problem is that NZ will not allow the import of Nike products into the country. Customs will confiscate the items and you and the shipper could be in trouble for trying to bring them in without an import license.
So the first thing you should do is call NZ customs and see if there is an import restriction on Nike products. If there is you will just have to find something else to wear or go to another country to buy them and wear them before bringing them home.
Hi, I am a fourteen year old girl. My parents are divorced and have been since I was six years old. I love them both very much and I really appreciate everything they have done for me, I am truly blessed to have them in my life. They are so supportive of me but.. I find myself happier at my fathers. My real father actually respects me..when I'm having a rough time he almost always tries to see things from my perspective and never invades my privacy. My father and I have so much fun together, but he has missed out on the past seven or eight years of my life and I think it is time for my father to have a turn..you know? My stepdad doesn't respect me very much but he does keep a roof over my head, and food in my stomach, and clothes on my back. My mother,. she is amazing. I love her so much.. although sometimes she can drive everyone in the same room nuts at the same time, I love her very much. I dont want to hurt anyones feelings or make them feel like I am trying to push them away.. I am just a bit confused on how I should go about this but how should I go about moving in with my father? How should I ask my mother without hurting her feelings? Does it matter what makes me happy or my parents? Thank you in advance.
Let me first say how much I enjoyed reading your letter. I see a very mature 14 year old behind the computer who wrote it.
Now for the good and the bad of what your asking. The bad news is that at the moment you are too young, legally, to make the choice as to who you live with. The courts made this choice for you when your parents divorced.
In their divorce decree it states who has physical custody of you, whether mom and dad have any joint custody in regard to you upbringing and what dads financial and visitation rights are.
Now the good news is that those rights as spelled out by the courts can be changed. Your parents can do so voluntarily or they can go back to court and have the court change them. This usually means one parent brings the other parent to court seeking a change in custody rights.
The invasion of your privacy by your stepfather that you wrote of does concern me some. Every parent has parental rights, and since you live with your stepfather he does have some parental rights, which allows them to invade some of your privacy rights.
As unfair as it may seem as a young adult some of your privacy rights are not constitutionally guaranteed. As a parent I have the right to search my children's room for contraband, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. I not only have the right but the need to look at and monitor your school work which today also means I have limited rights to view what is on your computer and cell phone. As A parent I do not have a right to invade your privacy when changing or bathing.
If your step-dad is invading your privacy when changing or bathing then this needs to be told to both mom and dad.. If your step-dad is not invading your privacy in this manner but is doing so as I described above; as any good parent would. Then legally he is not invading your privacy he is being a good parent.
IF you want to move in with dad you should first go to him and ask him if you can. If asks why give him your reasons. But first get his permission. Once dad give you permission to move in with him then ask him how you should go about doing so. He may say something to the effect that he will take care of it or his answer will be if it is okay with mom then you can move in with me but ask mom before you start packing. In which case you would have to ask mom yourself. You have to start with asking dad first.
Well at night time my period leaked on my bed and there where a few drops of blood on the bed and later on in that day my mum went to a friends house and i thought I will try to clean up the stain so i got some washing up liquid and i poured a small amount from the bottle onto the stain i got a piece of clothe and i started rubbing it. The stain got lighter but it was still there and I couldn't get it out anymore so i kind of just gave up but in the afternoon there was like a budge stain from where I poured the washing u liquid and i don't know how to get it out and also how to get the bloodstain out? By the way i can not go to the shops to get any other cleaning materials because i do not have any money with me. And if my mum does see the now budge stain what do I say to her? Im just really embarrassed
First: You have nothing to be embarrassed about. After 42 years of marriage I can tell you that what has happened, happens to all women. Has probably happened to your mother and will probably happen to you again in the future. This is a bodily function of women that is not consistent month to month.
Like everything else we do you prepare for the normal and when the abnormal occurs if it occurs you do what is needed to handle the situation. In this situation I would suggest if you're concerned with staining your mattress that you tell mom what happened, though is she has washed the sheets she may already know.
Next to prevent staining the mattress ask mom to purchase a mattress cover for your bed. A mattress cover is fairly inexpensive, usually adds some softness to the mattress and is totally machine washable. Mattress covers are designed to protect your mattress from accidents like you had.
As for washing out the stains. We use two product that believe it or not we find at the dollar store and work very well in the laundry and in cleaning other areas of the house. They are Simply Green and Simple Orange. We pretreat the stain with one or the other and put them right in the washer, in cold water add some bleach if we can and machine wash. Most stain disappear including blood stains.
Please don't be embarrassed over what happened. As long as you took the precautions you normally take then you need not be embarrassed if they were not enough. As I said these things happen and it may happen again. There is not much you can do about it for you will not know in advance if your period is going to be heavier than normal.
So rather than be embarrassed and try to hide what happened. Just talk to mom and she may have some other ideas to help you that I being a guy can't think of.
will wife give sign she wants two cocks at same time
From what I have seen this is more of a mans fantasy then a woman's fantasy. The same goes with a wife having sex with another man while the husband watches or a three way with another woman or another man.
When it comes to sex my advice is to communicate with your partner. There is nothing off limits, kinky or weird that two people can do together sexually as long as no one is hurt, more than they wish to be (BDSM), and that they are both in agreement to try something.
Being in agreement means that you are both open and wanting to do so. It does not mean one partner begging the other until the other partner reluctantly gives in. It also means that at any point if one partner says stop, you stop right there no matter what and no means no.
When two people can openly discuss anything, including sex, you have the workings of a good marriage. I know for I have been married for 42 years.
When it comes to sex and making fantasies into realities you both have to feel really secure with each other and your marriage. For some times the fantasy when made into a reality is not the pleasure you thought it might be. Seeing your lover enjoying someone else can turn into a downer quickly and spoil an otherwise great relationship.
A Short answer is I don't think you will see signs of what you're looking for. Sure maybe your wife will like watching porno of this type. But watching and doing are two different things.
So my suggestion is you get a good bottle of wine. Turn off the TV, dim the lights and have a conversation about your sex life and where each of you would like to take it. What fantasies you each may have an if they should remain fantasies or if you would BOTH like to try and bring them to reality.
I know that I'm apparently 'too young to have a baby', but I don't give a shit. Me and my boyfriend have just now started trying to get pregnant and I want some ways to get pregnant faster. I know for sure I would a great mom. School wouldn't really be a problem because I'm going to make sure I don't miss any school. I thought the good and the bad, so I know what I'm getting into.
It would be great if everything we planned for came out exactly as we planned. Unfortunately in the real world we live in things do not always work out as planned.
Lets start with your parents for instance. How are they going to feel when they find out their little girl is pregnant with her own little one? Will they be overjoyed at the prospect that you are pregnant. Will they be supportive or will they condemn you and throw you out of the house? You would be surprised how many parents have thrown their daughters out with the words, "you want to act like an adult and have sex and have babies before your financially able too," then have at it; or words to that effect.
What about his parents. Are they going to feel you entrapped him, that he was an unwitting participant. You would be surprised how differently parent react when they find out that their babies are about to become parents themselves.
I'm sure you will make a great mother when you are old enough to be one. That will be when you have finished school and been to college and have a secure job and a home of your own. Babies and young children are totally dependent on their parents for everything they need in life.
When its 2AM an the baby is being colicky and you want to sleep and it can't. How are you going to feel needing to go to school without any sleep and then to work after school. This can happen night after night with some babies.
Can you exist and function properly on 2 to 3 hours sleep a night according to most studies done on teenage sleep needs and patterns. Teenagers and young adults require 8 to 10 hours sleep a night.
Then there is the fact that in many ways you yourself are sill a child. Over the next 3 years you will change both in mind and body. You will grow and mature in many ways. You are nowhere near the you that your are meant to be as puberty has not finished with you. Which may be a reason you are not getting pregnant. Your body may not be ready to support a pregnancy therefore it will not allow itself to become pregnant.
All in all you are not ready to bring a child into this world. If not for yourself and you really want to be a good mother then think of the child. You are not prepared to give a baby all the necessary things a child needs either monetarily or supportive care. You will grow to resent the baby as you miss out on many of the things others are doing and as your plans fail to materialize.
This is not the time for you to have a baby, it is wrong for you and it is more wrong for the baby. While I don't think you should be having sex I'm not going to lecture you on the fact that you are. I will suggest that since you are old enough to ask your doctor for birth control that you do so. A law called HIPPA gives you this right at your age. Stay on birth control until your old enough and financially capable of supporting a child.
I know this is not what you wanted to hear. As I say on my column page. I will always speak the truth to you. Then it is up to you to decide.
Hi, I'm a 18 year old girl in a college in the US. I'd REALLY appreciate any advice.
I am not sure what to do this Saturday. A few days ago, I invited two girls I met at church called Sally and Christina to hang out this Saturday. Sally is Chinese and in charge of international outreach at church, and she wanted to invite my 4 hallmates who happen to be Chinese International students too. I said that was fine and we decided to hang out downtown and have lunch together this Saturday.
Now one of my hallmates wants to invite her Chinese friend, and Sally wants to bring along about 3 more Chinese students. I like Chinese people, especially my hallmates, but the problem is whenever they are together they like to speak Chinese to each other. I'm Asian but I can't speak Chinese, so I prefer to spend time with just 1 of them so we can speak English and communicate. I don't want to spend my Saturday with 8 people who insist on speaking chinese because then I can't understand what they're saying to each other. Christina and I will feel isolated.
The problem is, last week I tried to organise a get together with CHristina and Sally last week but then I had to withdraw at the last minute because I was sick that day (I get migraines).
How can I get myself out of this Saturday get together that I myself started? I don't want to offend anybody or burn any bridges. Am I stressing too much over nothing? Should I just tell Sally and Christina the truth about how I feel?
There's another girl called Mandy who's only free on Saturday this week, and if I can withdraw from this large group gathering, I'd much rather spend time with her because I barely get to see her.
Hope that wasn't too confusing. Thanks for reading!
First of all it is very rude to speak a language that not everyone in the group is conversant or understanding of. In the same vein the exchange students are probably more comfortable speaking their native tongue rather than English.
You could pull out of the gathering because you do not speak or understand Chinese. You could do so making it seem as if you are doing so as to make it more comfortable for them rather than asking them to speak English just for you. Then again they could get insulted if you did so for this reason.
Are you sure they all do not realize the fact that you do not speak or understand their language. If you're not 100% sure then you need to make sure and tell them. I'm sure they do not wish to be rude and leave you out of the conversation. Once you're sure they know then you can say something like if you all are more comfortable speaking Chinese I would not have a problem bowing out rather than asking you to speak English just so I don't feel like a fifth wheel. Then it becomes their decision not yours.
What to when your mom calls you a hore and stupied and you buy a gift for her and she throws it in your face and threatens to beat you with fishing pole
The advice of the previous two advisors is spot on. I can only add that anytime a parent hits a child in the face or throws things at a child hitting in the face is physical child abuse and that is illegal. It is not okay for a parent to hit a child in the head at any time or is it okay to hit a child with a closed fist.
There is a fine line between child abuse and discipline. Discipline is a spanking with an open hand or a smack on the butt with an open hand. A spanking with any instrument is child abuse.
If your mom ever hits you in the head, hits you on any part of your body with a closed fist, or spanks you with anything other than her hand. You are the victim of child abuse and should call 911 as soon as it is safe for you to do so.
When you call 911 tell the call taker what has happened to you be explicit. The police and fire department will be sent to help you. The police cannot be sent away by mom until the fire department has checked you over and decided if you need further injuries. Then the police will decide if it is safe for you to remain in the house.
You have a right not to be abuse mentally or physically. Mental abuse is harder to prove. Physical abuse needs to be reported as soon as possible even if showing the injuries is going to be embarrassing. his is the only way to stop the abuse. Waiting for the bruising to heal makes it harder for the police to do anything.