about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm starting college and this is what they offer under Nursing:

~Bachelor~
RN to BSC Nursing


~Associate Degree~
General Nursing
Environment Health


~Certificates~
Practical Nursing
Midwifery
Pre-Nursing

I have no idea what they are except that Pre-Nursing is like an introduction and I have to start with that. Can anyone help me?

If I were you I would have a discussion with the guidance office on just what these courses prepare you for. What I do know is you do not want the Certificate Courses as they do not help you much and as or as far as I know the are not a prerequisite for a nursing degree.

If I were you I would look at nursing schools that offer bachelor's degrees in Nursing as this is how you achieve your RN. You could and should talk to your local community college as most offer a course in nursing with an AA degree. It saves you considerable money and the credits you earn are transferable to a nursing school for your bachelor's degree.

One other way to earn your nursing degree is to take a paramedic course. It is a two year course at your local community college with an AA degree when completed. After working as a paramedic for two years you can apply for the 9 month bridge course, which can be done as a home study, to pick up the credits and courses for nursing that are not in the paramedic course.

My son is a firefighter/paramedic and plans to do this to get his nursing degree. Paramedics are in demand and earn fairly good money. The paramedic course is tough but the community college course fee is fairly inexpensive compared to a 4 year institution. The bridge course is also fairly inexpensive, under $3,000.

Being a paramedic can be very rewarding. In the 5 years my son has been a firefighter/paramedic he has over a dozen lives saved. Being a firefighter myself I cannot put into words what that feels like. A life saved is getting a person who was almost dead or dead to the hospital alive and breathing.

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Is your hand tingling and back pain and LOADS of crying signs of anxiety? I do have anxiety, but these signs are driving me insane! I wake up an my heart rate is increased a little, (I am sick though. I have a cold and whatnot) I feel weak when I wake, and it takes a while to start feeling better. I'm also anemic. I'm on my period as well, and I've heard anemia can get worse with periods! Does it all sound normal, or not? I have been to the doctor and she said my heart sounded fine.

None of us are doctors and we cannot make a diagnoses. Even if we could it can't be done over the web as we would need to examine you.

Every once in a while I'll sleep wrong and pinch a nerve and wake up with tingling in my arm or hand. I guess back pain could cause it as well. Not knowing where you back pain is I have to suggest you see your doctor.

Waking up with back pain could be nothing more than a sign you need a better mattress; or it could be a sign of something more serious needing a doctor's intervention.

Have you fallen recently? Been in any type of accident recently? It doesn't take much to throw your spine out of whack. A simple x-ray will tell the doctor if something is wrong in that area.

Whatever is bothering you I doubt it has anything to do with your anemia or has anything to do with anxiety. Then again only your doctor can tell you this for sure.

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Please don't think I'm a bad person. I know this is such an awful question to ask and I would never ask it if I was adopting a baby. I don't really see the difference between a baby you have and a baby you adopt, but imagine that you were adopting an older child. Like a pre-teen? I'm asking because that's the situation I may be in.

I want to love this kid more than my life. I want to take this child who has never been loved by anyone before and shower him with love. I want to love him so much that I would die for him without even having to think about it. However, what would it say about me to love him as much as my other kids who have been with me since I held their little naked bodies in my arms shortly after their births? What would it say about me if I didn't?

As I'm writing this, I realize that it sounds much worse than it did in my head. I don't blame you if you think I'm a jerk, but while I feel capable of loving this kid as much as any other, I wonder if it will say very little about my relationship with my other kids. What would it say if a new kid could come along an automatically mean as much to me as they did? What would it say about me if I took this kid in and didn't give him the love he needs so badly and has been deprived of all his life?

Also, I find myself treating the kids differently. For example, one of my sons was going to get a dirt bike for Christmas, but I've been wondering if I should get him one or not. They can be so dangerous and I'd biting my nails every time he used it, worrying that he'd get hurt. However, I when I thought about getting the new kid a dirt bike, I didn't have a problem with it. I don't want him to get hurt either. I'd rather anything happen to myself than that, but I'm not as nervous about him having one.

Tell me what you think of this situation. Really imagine yourself being in this situation yourself and give me complete honesty. If you want to call me a jerk, go ahead, but please, give me some direction. Thanks in advance.

I believe what you are feeling is normal. You love your children and you don't want to hurt them or this adopted child is what I believe you're saying.

Adopted children be they infants or teens are special children. They have in a way received the short end of the stick and need all the love and affection you can give them. As to what others will think. Well I fall into the category of those others and I feel it takes a very special person to give of themselves and to open themselves and their home to someone. To offer all the love and support they would offer their own. Anyone who thinks differently truly needs to reexamine themselves for there is something wrong with them.

As parents we both know that each child we have requires a different type of parenting, no two children are alike and we parent them differently. Sometimes this is very subtle and no one notices, other times the difference is noticeable.

In parenting the adopted child you are going to have to parent him differently, especially at first. I'm positive the love from you will be there. For him, especially depending on his background, he may need to let his guard down and accept your love and learn to love you. This is going to take sometime and maybe some forbearance on your part on some behaviors you would not accept from your natural children. This will require some explanation as to why he might get away with something at first that you will not tolerate from them.

In the end though if you do this correctly, and you will, he will come around and be apart of your family. You will love him as your son, you will parent him as he needs to be parented which may be slightly different from your other children. This is okay as this how we parent correctly.

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how much time daily is minimum required for sex to get pregnent???

The amount of time spent having sex has very little to do with whether or not you will become pregnant. Getting pregnant is not as simple as just having sex. Rather it is more like an algebra problem. All the proper components must be in place and take place in the proper order in order for pregnancy to occur. Sex is the last part of the component.

TO get pregnant the female must be fertile at the time sex takes place. For 80% of women this takes place sometime between the 7th and 21st day of her menstrual cycle when the ovary ejects and egg for fertilization. This is the time of ovulation. Some women will know when this happens as she may experience some cramping when this happens others will not. There are ovulation test kits in drug stores that can be used to find out when you are most likely fertile. It is a three day period during this time of ovulation that you are most likely to become pregnant. If you wish to become pregnant you should have sex during this time period.

For the other 20% of women the can ovulate at anytime during their cycle including while having their period. Your GYN can help you track when you ovulate and when the best time for sex is to conceive a child.

Note: To much sex lowers the amount of sperm a man produces. So you may want to limit your sex during this period to once every other day to insure he produces the maximum amount of sperm to get the job done. Sperm if viable for 3 days with in your body.

I hope this helps.

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Thank you so much for your advice me and my cousin are like sisters and I didn't want to do anything that would hurt our relationship because I really do care about her and her feelings and didn't want to do anything that would hurt her.

You are quite welcome

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This is kinda weird but am I the only one to notice this? It seems like some people have specific natural scents. I've only noticed it in my girlfriend and my cousin. As long as I could remember, my cousin has had a specific scent that I can recognize. I can pick up a bracelet, and by the smell of it, I can tell it's his. (This actually happened) Regardless of soap, cologne, laundry soap. I've asked him about it. He said that only one other person had noticed it. The same thing with my girlfriend. Regardless of her body wash or axe spray that she loves, she ALWAYS has a specific distinctive scent that I notice. Especially when I let her wear a jacket or she comes to my house. I can tell she was wearing the jacket, and Ii could tell she was sitting on my bed. These are the only people I've noticed it in as well as myself. I could dip my hands in alcohol and scrub them. Let them dry off and they will have a specific scent. Luckily my hands, my cousin, and gf's scents are really good. Can someone explain this? Has this ever happened to anyone else? It's really weird

The scent that your are getting from these two people most likely is the scent of their pheromones. This is the scent that attracts us physically to another person. It is the more base or animalistic way of attraction between humans. We are after all when reduced to our basic self, animals just that we are human animals at the top of the food chain.

Just like other animals in the world are sense of smell is something we trust more than our other senses. We all have unique body odors, within those odors are the pheromones that physically attract one another and how we build friendships and loving relationships.

I'm not saying that you are in love with your cousin or if you're a girl, since you have not said if you are a boy or a girl, that you are in love with your girlfriend and this is a lesbian tendency coming out. It is not, it is just that you and these two people are people who you are attracted to in more than just an intellectual way and can have a deeper friendship with.

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I think i might actually have feelings for my cousins husband I don't know what to do help .

Don't even go down that road. Having feelings for a family member and acting upon them in any way will only cause huge family problems. He is a married man assumedly happily married. stay away from him.

As you write to us you are the one with the attraction as you say nothing about him coming on to you. So what to do about this is to do nothing. Avoid him. Do not flirt with him or in anyway signal to him that you are available or to entice him away from his wife and family. IF you do you will be the one to suffer from your family. It is not worth it.

As my mother would say there are plenty of fish in the sea. Bait your hook and go fishing.

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Hello,

First off, I apologize for the long question.

So, I'm thirteen, and I'm FTM.
I came out to my parents almost a month ago. When I came out to my dad, he asked me why I can't accept how I was made in the womb. And whenever I refer to myself as a "boy" or a "he" my dad gets frustrated and tells me I'm a girl and I need to shut up.
My mom wasn't really accepting either. She said that I'm trying too hard to fit into a certain gender role. And she said she could never accept me as a boy because she has always thought of me as her daughter.

No one will ever understand what I feel inside when I'm called a "girl" and a "she." My mom says what people call me shouldn't really matter, but it does. I hate it so much. I don't feel like I can have a good life until I'm accepted as a guy.

I cut myself for a while, partly because I hated that I'm stuck in a girl's body. I have considered starving myself too, but I won't because it'll just get me into the mental hospital again.

I know this question is rather vague . . . but I just want some advice on how to deal with this. It's so hard. I can't stand that my parents won't accept me. And my gender dysphoria gets worse everyday. I don't know what to do. I hate my body so much. Maybe I should just . . . give up.

Your parents may be under the illusion that gender identity is a problem many teenagers face as they go through puberty. Call it a phase that some go through. This is not always true.

Gender identity or transgender concerns are not a mental issue and your concerns over your true gender identity can cause you mental distress such as severe depression. Depression which I believe was the basis of your cutting.

What to do about this? First: if it is your desire to transform yourself into the body of the gender you identify with that can't happen until you're at least 18 as your body has to finish growing and developing. No doctor will prescribe the medications you need to take such as testosterone until you have finished with puberty.

Second: What you can do is start the counseling that is needed to make the gender change so that when your body is ready. The two psychiatrists and psychologists that must approve you for the surgery have worked with you for the time required to sign the forms needed.

This will also give you time to understand why you are a transgender. This is who you are, the way you were born. No amount of therapy will change you into a girl unless you are truly a girl who is suffering from a gender identification problem which is different from being a transgender. This also why it is required to work with psychiatrist and psychologists for a certain amount of time before you can physically change your gender. You will also need to live as the gender you identify with for the same amount of time. Meaning no girl close whatsoever. You live as a man, wear men's clothing and even use the men's bathroom.

This is also an opportunity for family counseling so that you parents can understand the how and the why of this. I cannot stress strongly enough that you have done nothing wrong. If you are truly transgender and not suffering an identity crisis; then this was the way you were born. I say if for you will not know for certain until you have some counseling to figure this out. In family counseling your parents will be educated to the fact they are not at fault as you are not at fault.

So even though as you said you were once in a mental hospital. I don't think this issue was addressed. You need to ask your parents to see a Board Certified psychiatrist and discuss this with the doctor. It will take more than one visit before the doctor can advise how to move forward. The doctor needs time to evaluate and make sure that you are truly a transgender before you start down the long road to where you want to ultimately be. If this is what you want it will be worth the effort.

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I'm a girl of 16 in uk and I just can't get along with my mum and siblings, I love them to bits but everyday all the time they just wind me up and they don't realising they are annoying but eventually I reach the same conclusion every night- I need to get out and away from them, I don't want to stay around them anymore, every conversation results in an argument or somebody getting upset, we are just so uncompatable, my boyfriend and friends have said I can stay with them whenever I like but is I dunno if it's just a better idea to get my own place? I don't want to intentionally hurt their feelings and I know that it will if I move out cause they love me but I can't stand them... I just can't take it anymore I feel like it's all building up inside and one day I'm just gunna snap really badly and regret it, advise or an answer would be great?

It would be nice if someone in the UK were to answer you as there are certain legal areas that need to be looked at before you could even contemplate moving out of your parents home.

First though lets look at your reasons. Your 16 and find living at home irritating. Why? You say; "they just wind me up and they don't realizing they are annoying but eventually." I have to tell you this is fairly normal. It may have to do with where you are in puberty and how the hormones now surging through you are effecting you.

Some of it is just plain sibling rivalry. Part of it is your feeling possibly that your parents are not harsh enough with your siblings for annoying you. Your feeling that you are more adult than your mom or dad give you credit for. This is all very normal for a 16 year old teenager male or female.

The UK and the USA were I live share many of the same laws. In fact our system of laws are based on British common law. I say this as it may not be legally possible for you to leave your parents home without their permission.

Under our law, which may be the same in the UK, parents are responsible for their children until the reach the age of 18. Until that age parents must feed, house, cloth, see to your medical well being and send your to school. Housing you does not mean they pay for your apartment away from them.

Here in the USA you could not legally sign a lease for an apartment until you were at least 18 and many apartment complexes want you to me 21 before they will rent to you. They also want to see a good work and credit history. Do you have that or are you still in school. Do you plan on going to University? How do you plan on paying the rent, gas, electricity and food? I understand a little about the British Dole system it is much like our welfare system. If this is what you plan on existing on it will barely cover these expenses. There will not be anything left over for clothing or going out with friends.

As for moving in with friends? Legally I doubt you could do that either.

What I suggest is you see your doctor and explain how you are feeling. As I said how you are feeling is normal for teenagers. When I was your age my parents what you are feeling a phase children went through. Today we know better and doctors can help you with medications to ease the affects of puberty and the new hormones. I believe this is a better way for you to go then to try and move out of your parents home.

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Hello, I need help with my relationship with my mother. I am 18 and I feel as though we are growing more distant and hostile towards each other. I feel as though every time I do something wrong (which I will freely admit I am guilty of), my mother and I over react to each others response and it just ends in a shouting match. We continue to do this (and have done so for years) and I can certainly say it is not pleasant for either of us. It has gotten to the point that I am reluctant to talk with her as it almost always ends with one of us upset and angry at the other.

I am not writing this because they took my phone or Xbox or something and I am just complaining because they are unreasonable. I'm here because I need some genuine advice on how to communicate openly with my mother about why this always happens.

I know I am not the perfect son, but I feel as though the instant I do something wrong, we just get into it.

I can't stand to be angry all the time anymore.

Your problem is not all that unique, many children and their parents face the same problem when children reach this age. Boys generally have the problem with their mothers and girls have the problem with their fathers. If you are an only child the problem is intensified some.

What is the problem. For the parent it is the fear of losing. Losing their child to the adult world, losing having the closeness or the feeling of being needed they have cherished for the last 16 plus years. For the child it is the fear of being smothered, not having enough freedom, not being seen as the adult they feel they are.

As someone old enough to be your grandfather I have been through this with my own and now I watch as mine go through this with theirs. Mom needs some reassurance that you are not going to run off and leave her. You're going to have to find away to show her as well as talk to her.

My son would take my wife shopping but if he met anyone he knew at the mall or wherever he told his mother to act like she didn't know him. This worked well for those kids that didn't know us. For one of his friends he liked to embarrass people and run up to us shouting mom, dad. You see he was black and we are white. Twenty years ago him calling us mom and dad caused a lot of starring. He didn't mind we didn't mind so who cared but he was the exception to the rule, when in the mall.

I agree you need to sit down with mom and tell her you are tired of all the yelling. Tell her you are growing up not away from her. That you love her and you will always be there for her. That in order to be the adult she has raised you to be you need some freedom to learn just how to act as an adult while she is there to help you.

Try this and see if it doesn't bring about a change. If you are an only child you might try being a bit more helpful around the house. For as you get older you make more work for mom something you may not be aware of.

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Me and my boyfriend first started datin in jube but we broke up in july and then we got back together in october. So everytime I'm around him or in the same room, I get/ feel nervous. Why?

Dragonflymagic's answer is a good one. I will add that nervousness is also part of our safety system. It could be, and as Dragonflymagic said we are only guessing since you gave no other information, that because of whatever caused you to break up in July there could be some trust issues you have with him. This to my way of thinking would be normal.

Not knowing your age makes it near impossible to give you a good answer. If you are a young teenager there are a whole host of reasons you would or could be nervous around him or any other boy especially if he is older than you.

To give you a better answer you would need to write one or both of us with more information. Information such as your ages, his and yours. What caused you to break up and why you got back together. Who approached who to get back together. What he does to make you nervous and is he pressing you to have sex with him.

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Hi, today I got diagnosed with anxiety, and I've been under ALOT of stress. My shoulders have been killing me, And now on my left side it's like my houlder cramps up for about thirty seconds? I was afraid I was having a heart attack, but I'm sixteen and healthy so I don't think that likley... No chest pain at all or numbness. Just my shoulders! Also I cry a lot due to m anxiety And stress. I am very emotional right now. Does it seem like a heart attack or just pain with the anxiety?

We are not doctors so we can't make a diagnoses. Even if we could we couldn't do so over the web as we need to be able to examine you.

Since I am now a retired first responder I will advise you of this; It is possible for anyone including someone your age to have a heart attack. In general for someone your age to have a heart attack it is generally because of an undiagnosed birth defect or other ailment. So my advice is never ignore the symptoms if you have them. Let a doctor decide what the problem is.

You say you were diagnosed with anxiety today. Did the doctor prescribe medication to relieve the anxiety. If not I suggest you either go back to the doctor and ask for medication or see another doctor for a second opinion. If your symptoms are as I believe them to be, the result of your anxiety. Medication will calm you down and relieve symptoms you are telling us about.

The next thing you should do is contact a clinical psychologist for talk therapy. Clinical therapy is a place where you can talk openly and freely with the clinician, in this case a psychologist, about anything in total confidentiality. Like the ad for Vegas say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. The same is true in therapy. Whatever is discussed stays there unless you give permission for the therapist to discuss it with someone else and you have to specifically name that individual. Husband boyfriend, mother, father even you medical doctor cannot know what you and your therapist discuss unless you say so.

The goal in therapy is to find out what is causing the anxiety and finding a better way to deal with it rather than how it is presently manifesting. You may think work or school is the cause and with therapy you find something altogether different is the cause. Something you have tried to bury deep within you.

You may go through one or two or even three therapist until you find one you're comfortable with. This is okay as you must be comfortable with your therapist in order for therapy to work well.

My suggestion is to see your doctor again if you are not on medication. If you are take the medication as prescribed. It will take a dose or two to really have an effect. Then find a psychologist and arrange for therapy sessions to get at the root cause of the anxiety.

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My period is late and I want to know how late it can be before I know it's gone. I know I'm a virgin so I'm not pregnant so I don't know why my period is so late.

There are many reasons why your period is late or missed. Being pregnant is only one of them. After being pregnant stress is the second major reason for a missed or late period. This is followed by being ill, taking of certain medications such as antibiotics. Changes in life style such as your exercise routine is another reason. If you suddenly start exercising or increase your exercising you can cause your period to be late or disappear altogether as happens to Olympic female athletes. During your teenage years it is quite common to skip a period now and then even if you have been very regular.

Stress comes in all different varieties. Given the time of the year you may be studying for tests at school or state exams. The Holidays are coming up as well. For some people the Holidays are a stressful time of year. Have you been sick lately. Have you taken any antibiotics or has the doctor changed any maintenance drug you take regularly.

You know you are not pregnant and are a virgin so there is no reason not to go to mom and talk with her about this. She is your best source of information about this. Yes, moms first thought is going to be are you pregnant. So you start with "Mom I need to talk with you and you should know I am a virgin so I am not pregnant, but my period is late." Then ask her what to do about it or if you need to see a doctor about it. I don't think you do but it will put your mind at rest if your were to and the doctor told you everything was normal. If your under 14 you need moms permission to see a doctor.

IF you are 14 or over there is a federal law called HIPPA that gives you the legal right to see a doctor about anything concerning your reproductive health; with or without parental permission. All doctors visits for anything to do with your reproductive health are totally confidential and only you and the doctor can be knowledgeable of what is in your medical records. You must give the doctor written permission to discuss these records with anyone including your parents.

IF you are over 14 you have options to get answers to this question other than the ones I gave you. I do believe that in your instance going to mom is the best and quickest option. Your period is not sexual and is a normal bodily function of a female. You should not be embarrassed to discuss this problem with mom. TO keep mom from getting excited and maybe flying off the handle when there is no need just start your conversation as I suggested.

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I feel like I'm growing up and I'm going through a transition in which my values are changing. I'm starting to feel extremely distant from my friends who I once loved dearly, especially my best friend who is in the process of taking on a new boyfriend. These friends who 4 months ago made my entire life a joy now make me extremely angry and frustrated to the point in which I can't be around them because it gives me too much anxiety ESPECIALLY when alcohol is involved. I spend a lot of time alone but when the couple things I rely on besides people fail me, like music, my world falls apart. I also had a recent death in my family of someone I was very close with. Being away at college has been something I could rely on to escape the anxiety I feel about this family situation but right now I feel like there is nothing to make me feel better. I'm drifting away from my friends and I feel like a failure at life. Right this second I feel like I have nothing. It's not just my close friends that give me anxiety but people in general. When I get upset it surfaces as anger, frustration, and anxiety, probably making me an unpleasant person to be around. What should I do about all of this?

When a close friend or relative passes away your grief on their passing will effect you in many ways and have an impact on your life as well. There are many stages of grief, at least 5 and as many as 8. The closer you were to this person the more stages of grief you will go through. You must grieve for your relative or you will never fully accept their passing. This is normal for we humans.

My best friend of 40 years past away suddenly last year. I went through all the stages of grief including being mad at him for dyeing. Yes I was angry that he up and died leaving me without my best friend. How close were we? People said of us we were brothers from other mothers. We could finish each others sentence. It took me a long time to get over his passing and I'm still not sure I don't grieve for him. At least now I can write about him and talk about him without getting choked up. Grieving is normal and it takes time to grieve.

As for the other things you wrote about, those are normal too. You are moving forward with your life and maturing faster than the friends you left at home. They are no longer the safety net you had all through school. For the most part our childhood friends are just that. We grow up, our interest change, we marry and move on with our lives and make new friends. We build new safety nets.

I believe this is where you are now. At the point where your old friends seem immature. You have been forced in away to grow up and mature faster because you are away at college. Mom and dad may be a phone call away but they are not there. This is a big change something that forces you to set you values and live buy them. This is all good though also can be confusing and cause anxiety.

Relax and go with the flow. Get involved in different activities at school and make new friends. Rebuild the safety nest you are use to having. Build them with your new friends, friends that have they same values you are creating for yourself.

As I said this may be confusing for you but you are doing good from what I can tell from your writing. Just give yourself time to heal from your loss. Relax and enjoy what college has to offer you both in the way of an education and new friendships. Your doing the right thing and we will always be here to bounce questions off of if you need too.

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20/f

I noticed that ever since I've been on birth control, my hips have gotten wider. I know because I have to go a size up in pants and I have always been slender. Recently, I started noticing that my upper body is getting bigger. I do not mean my breasts, I am not sure if my breasts are getting bigger but I have been noticing that I am starting to no longer fit in my regular size tops and I would need to go a size up.

I recently contacted my doctor and they said widening hips are not due to the birth control pills. I was thinking that maybe I was eating too much but I have always had a fast metabolism. But my doctor also said that the birth control that I am taking does not slow down my metabolism either.

I am slightly paranoid just because my coworker told me that she knew a girl that was taking birth control pills and she "blew up."

What exactly is going on with my body?

There are a few things going on here.

First: you are at the end of puberty. Yes, puberty lasts into your early twenties. While the raging hormones and some of the other affects hit you in your early teens. Some of the other effects come later in life and are more subtle. What you may be experiencing is your body taking its final form, which has nothing at all to do with birth control medication.

Second: At 20 years of age your life style is quite different than it was when you were 16 or 18. This has nothing to do with your metabolism and everything to do with if you r more active then when in your teens or less active.

Third: No two people react exactly alike to birth control pills or any medication for that matter. They say birth control pill do not cause women to put on weight. This is based on clinical trials and what the results are of the majority. The clinical trials for medication are public information. You can if you wish look to see what the overall results for your medication was for weight gain by researching the clinical trials.

If you have been on birth control for a while and have just now start to notice a change in you body. Then I would believe that the ending of puberty is more likely the cause of the changes you are seeing than the side affects of your birth control medication.

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Turning into an anal size queen. I go slow and use plenty lube. Is there long term risk of incontinence or other damage?

I have heard that many European women use anal sex as a way to protect their virginity until they marry. For this reason anal sex has been nicknamed the Greek way.

If you're careful there should be no long term effects from anal sex. You should though read up on it on the web as there are numerous articles on the subject. Of course there are certain precautions that should be taken. Your partner should wear a condom, this will protect against many of the germs that are in the anal canal. Note I said many but possible not all. Using a condom to protect against these germs will also help in the prevention and transmission of many but not all STDS. Use a generous amount of lube. Most importantly you need to learn to relax your sphincter muscle. This muscle is not use to invasion.

Even though your partner used a condom make sure you wash his penis and groin area with warm soapy water before having any other sexual acts. This will help prevent any germs from being transmitted from your anal canal to anywhere else on you or in you.

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I lied to a guy telling him I was 18 but I'm 17. I didn't think it would get to real, but now it has! Should I tell him my real age and risk the relationship, or just let it be I'll be turning 18 in May 2014.

The lie is not the worst part of the problem. Depending on where you live he could be in real legal trouble for even being with you.

In many states the age of consent has been raised to 18. This means that even though you two may not have had sex or may never have sex. The fact that you are below the age of consent he can be charged with statutory rape, which has nothing to do with whether you had sex or not and all to do with just being in each others company as a relationship.

Worse if you happen to live near the state line and frequently cross from one state to the other. Then the Federal Law called the Mann act comes in to play. Like Statutory Rape the law assumes immoral purpose for crossing state lines, not that it happens.

Those are the law, they don't get enforced unless for some reason a police officer finds need to check identifications when you two are together or someone makes a complaint. Being stopped for a simple traffic violation would not necessarily cause an identity check unless the officer found another violation of the law.

My advice is to tell him of your lie, it is for his own protection. It may cause your relationship to break up but if you have any feelings for him this is the right thing to do until you are actually, legally 18.

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I wanted to give my BF a nice piece of jewelry. I was thinking a necklace with a pendant or some sorts. I would just like to ask what can be a good inscription on it. Something that we can pass on to our kids, or grankids. Thanks.

I would believe the inscription would depend on the size of the piece of jewelry you can inscribe. Depending on the size of the pendant will depend on what you inscribe.

Since this may become an heirloom I would suggest at the very least you put a date on it to mark as an anniversary.

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I asked a supervisor to write me a recommendation letter for graduate school.. Many programs allow electronic submission via an online centralized program. I helped her copy/paste the letter onto the site, and once we submitted it and reviewed the PDF, we realized that the formatting was altered so that there is excess space between the last two paragraphs.

Though there's nothing we can do to change anything now, does a formatting issue such as this look bad to schools? Can this potentially bring doubt to my credibility?

No it does not reflect on you as this is not coming from you. The letter is coming from a third party on your behalf. If blanks are left open it reflects on the writer not on what is said about you. The fact that the writer left information out or left things blank will not reflect or hurt you.

If it is possible to have someone else write a letter for you I would suggest you do so. The more letters of recommendation you can submit the better picture of you the school can get.

As for the formatting error. What the admissions people see is a printout not what you see on the screen. The extra spacing will hardly be noticed.

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What are the chances of pregnancy when you have sex on your 7day break from the pill? Before your period arrives, thankyou

The seven day break from the pill is for the opportunity of your body to have a period. You are still protected against pregnancy as the medication from the pill is still in you. It takes time for the pills affect to work its way out just as it took time to build up.

Still for good reason other than just pregnancy protection you should use a condom when having sex. This not only adds extra protection to the 1% chance of pregnancy there is with most birth control pill. The condom also protects against the transmission of many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Unless you are married or in a long term relationship, such as living with someone, you should insist your partner wear a condom when having sex.

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