about



I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.

I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.













advice

Okay so I have this friend and she has told only me and my other close friend that she is bi-sexual. And well...I am kinda bi-sexual (I know you cant really be kinda bi-sexual but sometimes I dont like girls and alot of the time I do but anyway...) and me and the friend that is bi-sexual talked and she said she really liked me and I kinda liker her to. She is coming over either today or tomorrow and I know she wants to kiss me cause she has said it before and I wanted to know like how to flirt and how just to get into the kiss. Like do I just go for it do I give signals till she does it orr....how? Advice would be wonderful,
Thanks :)




The same way you would flirt with a guy, Just go with the flow. The only difference here is she is a female.


If she said that she wanted to kiss you in the past, Then here is where you just wait for the right moment. Sit somewhere and talk and when the right moment comes give her signals. Smile, Make eye contact, compliment her...She should eventually get the picture.

[view]


October 16th 2010 My wonderful boyfriend and I started dating. Ever since, I have been the happiest. He has made me happy everyday and I am so thankful to have met someone who finally picked me up from being so down. When I'm with him, the world stops. I forget everything and I'm just so happy. I always get this feeling in the back of my chest that burns in a good way, when I'm with him or just think about him. I just want the wrest of my life to be this way. I want to feel this way forever.. We were really good friends before we even started dating. Our relationship has strengthened immensely, I can't picture my life without him. We truly do believe God made us for each other. I really do love him, and I know I'm young. I will be 16 this year.. He just turned 18. I wish our age wasn't such a difference. I'm a sophomore girl and he's a senior boy. But I trust him with all of my heart and he trusts me. We don't feel any age difference so it doesn't matter to us.. But his mom always warns him how it is illegal and how if we had sex someday it would be illegal and all of this stuff. It really scared him... and me too. Even if we ever had sex... we'd be making love. we wouldn't be fucking.. we'd be making love. We don't get to pick our ages or when we're born. it just happens. & we certainly do not choose the people we love. it just happens... you know? Age should not matter in this world. It's the love that counts in the end... Do you think it's wrong that I date my 18 year old boyfriend? my parents are absolutely fine with it they love him. His parents and sister love me. It's just the age difference which bothers some people. I don't think it's huge.. I think it could be worse. It's just the fact that he's 18. And guys, please give me this advice truthfully.. I respect that. I really do love him you guys, I really do. More than anything.


The law is the law


In some states, 18 is considered legally an adult and you are currently a minor therefore yes, It could be wrong. Other states, Anyone of age 19 being with anyone under the age of 18 again is wrong.

Your boyfriend puts himself in a very very risky situation, If your boyfriend was to have any sexual contact with you for this matter he could be charged as I say, You don't have to have sex to be charged with a minor. All someone has to do is suspect and report. You are young, but guess what whether you think it's making love it is still the law.

Your boyfriend could be charged with the following

Lewd act upon a minor, Sexual assault, Statutory rape and a whole load of crap. All is takes is ONE person to say something and BAM he's in deep trouble. Once charged if found guilty more then likely your boyfriend could be charged and forced to register as a sex offender. BE VERY CAREFUL, Best of luck

[view]


17/f

i just wanted to know if this would be considered rape. so heres the story.

i was at a new year's party last year. i was with my best guy friend. i drank and smoked a blunt with him. i got drunk and high but he didn't. we went to the beach to go swimming, i took off my clothes except for bra and undies, he took off everything but his boxers. i don't know how ALL of my clothes came off or telling him it was okay for him to take my virginity. it was almost as if i blacked out for a little while, when i opened my eyes i felt the worst pain i've ever felt although i wasn't sure what was going on. he asked if i wanted him to stop, i still didn't know what was happening and i replied no. very shortly after i realized what was happening and i told him to stop and he did. i was a virgin and he wasn't. i wonder if this is rape because i never gave him permission from the beginning. i know he definately took advantage of me after being drunk and high and nowhere near my right mind.

thank you




Yes and No


This is a tricky question


When people are under the influence of alcohol depending on how much was taken in, Some people are not aware of how they act or what they say and sometimes people don't even remember what happened. Do you fully remember that night? You said you told him to stop, Yes that is rape. However, A year later would be hard to prove evidence unless of course a lie detector was involved somehow.

This is a link to a hotline for teens it is fully anonymous. The first step of getting over a rape is to seek help from someone you trust. Family, Friends or even hotlines

http://www.pamf.org/teen/hotlines.html

[view]


i am not on birth control . me and my boyfriend had sex thursday , friday , and today and he came into me twice each day . well my period isn,t susposed to come on till the 27 around that time but it came on juss a little while aqo . and today is the 19 . can i still be or getting pregnant or should i still take a pregnacy test later on . is it my period or is it somethimg else . im confused because he came im me earlier today twice . and we are tryin to conceive for the first time .

There is always a chance of pregnancy, It is usually recommended to wait 10-14 days to take a home pregnancy test for a more positive result. Many things can delay a period, weight gain, weight loss, stress, illness etc. If you do not get your period within 2 weeks of the date you are due take a pregnancy test.

[view]


Sometimes when I have my tampon in I have a lot of trouble peeing. A tiny stream comes out that takes forever, and often half of it won't even come out until I take it out. I've asked friends about this, and they all say they've never heard of it, and I feel like a freak. Does anyone know what I might be doing wrong?



Never pee while you have a tampon inserted in your vaginal area.

If you try to urinate while a tampon is in place, You have an extremely high chance of getting infections, UTI, Yeast infections etc. Make sure you remove the tampon while going to the bathroom first, When you are done clean yourself and enter a fresh one.

[view]


Okay this might be kind of long but there's this boy I've been looking at on facebook for about a year and one day while at school me and my friends started talking about him and I got really turned on about it and he doesn't even go to my school. So one of my friends was like she knew him so she said she would introduce us. He wrote me on facebook that day and me and him started texting. So the next day he asked me out so me and my friends went out with him. While we were out me and him started making out and then he started fingering me. It was GREAT at the moment but I felt bad because me and him were only talking for a day before I let him do that and plus he had a girlfriend. They broke up today and I think its sort of my fault because a lot of their friends were there. Am I a slut? Is it wrong that I wanted to be with him? Is it bad that me and him almost had sex? Female 14

You were both wrong



This boy has a girlfriend, You knew that but you let him take advantage of you anyways. At age 14 their raging hormones are focused on taking advantage of girls insecurities and here is where you gave in. Anyone who plays around when they have someone is nobody you want to be in a relationship with. A "player" always has people on the side and here you were just that girl. One more person who he could try and get what he wants out of. You are young, Having sex at your age I would VERY careful. Seek birth control and condoms because at`14 it is way to young to be raising babies. How would you like to be in the girlfriends shoes?...You betrayed her, You gave into him and most of all you completely disrespected yourself. Were you wrong about wanting to be with him? Yes, He is seeing someone else and he was currently in a relationship and you interfered with that. Are you a slut? No, You made poor judgement. Sometimes boys say what girls just want to hear this is where some people use the term "pick up line" it's just a way of getting what he wants. Find someone that doesn't have a girlfriend and won't take advantage of you. Trust me your better off that way.

[view]


i heard that you can only get pregnant once a month so i thought it would be safe for me and my boyfriend to have unprotected sex . we had sex twice yesterday and today and he came into me each time . i think i was ovalating because white discharge juss appered out of no where that day . and it was slippery than it usuly is . could i have been ovalating and not even kno it .? and can i look forward to having a child . and my period hasnt came on this month but its susposed to come on at the end of the month .



You can become pregnant at any time, I don't know who told you that but it is not true one bit. accidents happen ALL the time. I would highly suggest using a condom or seek birth control because the fact that you had to ask says you are not ready for sex. Should you be looking forward to having a child? ...Assuming you are young, No you are not ready.

[view]


I love my ex boyfriend so much. I know he feel the same way about me. We always breaking up then going back out. This time he went as far as having a girlfriend and even though I say I'm over him I'm not! He told her he love her but I don't think he do because they only been together for a month! we got into one of our biggest fight last week and he pushed me. I didn't know he had a girlfriend until this week. Monday was our first time talking since our fight and he told me that he love me and he apologized for hurting me:( he also told me he broke up with his girlfriend (which i didn't ask him)but he lied because on her Facebook she still have his last name and she update her status about him! I really love him and want to be with him but i don't know what to do!




Anyone who pushes someone around, Cheats, and Lies is not someone you want to be in a relationship with. You may be still holding onto past memories which in this case makes you "think" you love him. This guy pushed you..That is WRONG to all degree. Let her have him, As hard as that is to hear. He does not deserve you, There are many many others in the world that will treat you right and want to be with YOU. This guy is a jerk, Show him you are the bigger person, Cut contact with him I also recommend maybe removing him from your facebook, Block him if you have too. I've always said cutting contact is the best and easiest way to get over someone.

[view]


lost virginity 2 years ago..since then no physical relation. wil my husband come to know that im nt a virgin?



No, Impossible



If he ask, Tell him the truth. Why is such a big deal anyways? Lying to your husband is certainly not going to make you gain his trust and it's one hell of a habit to make in a marriage. Be honest

[view]


16/F

I think I asked a question on here a while back about my sister being diagnosed with severe depressive disorder. Well, they put her on Prozac and she seems okay, but she cries randomly, which is odd since she hardly ever cries.

Anyway, for some reason, it seems like everyone around me is getting depressed now that my mood is getting back up! Even my parents are getting depressed, friends at school. It's so hard to enjoy life when they don't want to :( I try to help them and give them advice and joke around, tell them it's not so bad. I try to cheer them up, even being goofier than usual, but it's like they keep coming up with excuses and reasons why everything I say is a lie. I know what that's like, sure, I went through a really bad time during middle school, but now I'm pretty optimistic, a glass-full kind of kid, but how can I help everyone around me enjoy life more? I don't like being the only one who's happy. Basically, I'm asking what can I do to get people's moods up too, if there's anything I can do that is because I know I'm not a doctor and I can't just snap my fingers and go fwah, you're better... So yea, any help?



It's that time of season, It's that time of year



The holidays are right around the corner, It's common for people to be a bit overwhelmed this time of year, Christmas can be stressful. Also, No doubt the cold air helps either, The sun is out less and it gets dark earlier. What can you do? Just try and help around the house, Little things always help. Pick up a few things, Load the dish washer, Help Mom with the laundry anything really is a big help. Once the holidays come around things should start to lighten up some. Your sister, Depression is very hard on some people and depressed people are often very down and hard on themselves. Let her know that your there for her if she needs too talk and if she randomly starts to cry...Why not just give her a hug. Depressed people sometimes need assurance that there is someone there that loves them.

[view]


hello my husband just deployed to afghanistan and like 2 weeks before he left i kept catching him lie. like he told me he wouldnt look at inappropriate internet pictures he promised actually. then one day i was showing him how to do something on his computer and they popped up and he lied about it. then started accusing me of not trusting him when he tried to minimize the window. which i was like whatever its not a big deal ill get over it and he apologized. recently his ex messaged him just asking to catch up and talk, this was his ex of 3 years and like his first love. he did tell me that she messaged him, and i told him not to message her back because i didnt want it to start something just like he asked me not to talk to a certain one of my ex's. well today i had a bad feeling about it and we share each other's passwords and i found out on facebook he did message her and had been talking to her. i was completely crushed because he told me he wouldnt. it may be dumb but i just felt like if he talked to her again he would grow those feelings back for her, even though we're married. i'm just so sad he lied to me again. i dont want him to think i dont trust him and i dont want him knowing that i went on his fb because he'll accuse me of not trusting him again etc. so i sent him a message through fb asking him if he talked to her because i had a bad feeling about it, im not sure what to do or say if he lies or confesses it.. i have a feeling he's gonna lie. i dont know why all this is happening we had a really good relationship and i thought it was so honest :( help i dont know what to do!

thanks



You've caught your husband lying more than once, The trust isn't there, Honesty isn't there and respect isn't there either. Clearly, Your marriage is going down the shitter.

You need to sit him down and talk to him, You've already found proof he lied to you once again, If he lies when you express how your feeling then I would let him know you that you found out through his facebook. Although he will get mad and accuse you of not trusting him...This is where I would throw in "I did trust you but you kept lying to me" YOU are his wife, He should be fully committed to YOU. If he can't do so then he isn't worth being married too. This is unhealthy, You've got a world of red flags in front of you.

[view]


I've had a struggle with my sister my entire life. She has done the typical sister things to me and some non-typical.
In a phone conversation yesterday we hashed out a few things and at the end I told her I don't want to see her again.
We talked about how she hit me when we were young. (Oh, she's 9 years older than me so it's a 10 year old hitting a 1 year old) and she admits to hitting me
BUT
"I did hit you but not to hurt you" - her
"you did hurt me, you were so much bigger than me" - me
"oh you are remembering it hurting more than it actually did" - her
More examples of how she treated me:
She said she hates fat people and I'm fat.
She said I should have her babies because my body is already ruined by being fat and her body isn't
She walked around my parent's house and put her name on the bottom of the things she wants when they pass away.
I have caught her taking photographs, cookbooks and wine glasses from both me and my parents when she comes. Her response is that the photographs are part of her heritage and she was going to bring them back. The cookbook she does not remember and the wine glasses were hers to begin with. - they are not, they have been in my parents china cabinet for years.

She also has a temper - has had it all her life. Walking on eggshells around her wondering when she will go off has caused me a life of anxiety and depression.

I decided to put up some boundaries with her this time she visits for Christmas. Each boundary I told her about she fought against. She is not allowed to hold my 5 year old and sob when she's leaving. I told her to say goodbye and do her crying away from my daughter, because it affects her.
The response I got was "Why, who told you that what I was doing was bad?"
me- "her behavior afterwards tells me it affects her"
her - "how do you know that my actions are causing her behavior"
What I got from trying to set one boundary was backlash. I thought it was one of the more simple boundaries.

Another boundary I tried to set was that my husband will join her, I and my daughters when we go out. (she does not like my husband because he does not allow her to walk all over him, I let her do whatever she wants because since I was small my parents told me to do whatever she wants and she won't hurt you)
Big backlast there. My husband is on vacation and she's on vacation and I'm not leaving him home to watch TV. He wants to do things with his children too. Her answer was a flat no, he can't come with us.

I'm getting to my question.

My daughters 7 and 5 only know her as the great aunt who brings presents and plays with them when she's here.

How do I tell them that they are not going to see her anymore without being the bad mom?

Eventually they will find out that I'm the one who stopped the relationship. I don't want my girls to hate me. But I can't go on dealing with a sister that treats me terribly.

Should I put up with my sister no matter what, for my children's happiness?



You and your sister need to sit down and have a serious talk.

1. You and your sister are both ADULTS, The conversation you two had on the phone is extremely childish. Explain to her that you both are no longer children anymore, Things happen when siblings are young but as we grow and mature we move on.

Set boundaries with your sister, Let her know how you feel and how her behavior is unacceptable. If she wants to be involved in your families life she is seriously going to have to focus on getting herself together. Explain the boundaries in a calm way, Try to make it so it doesn't come across as you are attacking her. A mature thing to do would be to respect your children's wishes enough to let them see their Aunt, If your sister is a good aunt and is a good role model to them then yes they should have a right to see her. Don't let the relationship between you and her get in the way, Your children should not be punished for something they didn't do, Keep the problem between you and your sister.

[view]


Hii guys..what do you guys think of abortion? is it good or is it bad? please let me know what you guys think. thanks



My point of view, There are always better options. I do not believe in abortions, Truth? ..Don't have sex if you don't want a baby.

[view]


so i've been dating this guy for almost two months....and we really like each other but we have a problem...he is shorter than me. and all his friends hate me so they keep saying all this stuff to get us to break up with each. They he is smoking and he tells me that he's not. and i believe him but then people i dont even no are telling me that? i dont know what to do. i want to talk to him but im afraid he's going to think i dont trust him...help please?




Communication is the key to any relationship, Ask your boyfriend. Is he lying...We really can't tell you that. However, Let me point out something

In almost every relationship there is always some sort of criticism, There will always be a person or persons that will disapprove and sometimes people will even get jealous. When jealousy comes to play sometimes people will say and do anything to cause stress an arguments on a couple. You have to trust your boyfriend, If you don't your relationship is going to be doomed. If you suspect your boyfriend of doing things, YOU need to talk to him openly about how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Don't let someone tell you things because sometimes their intentions are to get you to believe it.

[view]


I am trying to make my face book really private because I just found out that my job has Facebook and I don't really want them to look at my page. So far it apears to be pretty private (from looking at the preview) but I don't want the page to show my "likes" either. Like right now someone could look at my page and see "Activities and Interests" and they can also see "Arts and Entertainment" What's the point of making my profile private if they can just click on Activities and Interests and see what I am into hahaha so if anyone knows how to make this, specifically the Activities and Interests part go away and only be seen by friends, that would be great. Please give specific instructions. Thank you.




Hi



When you log into facebook go to the privacy settings

Account-Privacy Settings

When you get to the page where it displays an example of the privacy settings you will notice in small writing on the top it will say "View Settings" Click it.

If you want your page massively private, Set it too only friends.

Next, Go back to the privacy settings below click Applications and settings, Again set them to only friends.

If you are on your Home page, Where your friends list appears if you move the mouse arrow over an pencil symbol will appear - Click the pen symbol, This will allow you to edit your friends list privacy (This option will not work on the newer update of facebook)


Make sure everything in the privacy settings is set to friends only, Once it is set nobody should be able to view your profile.

[view]


Okay so my boyfriend of a year is abusive. physical and verbal. But i cant get out of the relationship because last time i tried he threatened to kill me and he had a knife or he says he gonna text and tell my entire family that all my secrets. what can i do? i need out. help?




Tell someone A.S.A.P

Do you have a cell phone? If you do, Text or Call someone. Whenever you have a few minutes to yourself do so. Whether it's going to the bathroom, taking a shower etc. I see you used the computer to seek advice, If someone close to you has an email account, EMAIL THEM. Contact the local police department through email if you have too. Let someone know, There is always a way out even if it seems to be the worst of the worst situation. Remember, Once you leave you are one of the lucky ones.

[view]


I'm a huge Metal Gear Solid fan, and a bunch of friends and myself wanted to create a site that was similar to "My Life is Average/HarryPotter/etc.", only it be "My Life is MGS". I'm not too good at building websites, and I'm having trouble finding out exactly what host I should use, etc. Any tips?



Hello there


A good free website advertising

http://www.wix.com/create/website

It's simple to use, I've used it on several occasions.

[view]


I want you to listen and I want you to read this thouroughly please.

I am 19 years old and I am in college. I have always been the good girl. Yeah I've kissed a few guys here and there maybe a makeout session or two. But I never did anything sexual. It wasn't until I got to college. I started seeing all the pretty girls get attention and not me. I consider myself to look okay. I am african american, tall and skinny. But I guess it's not enough for boys.

My freshmen year of college, I didn't do much. Around two boys gave me oral and that was it. Around the summer time before sophmore year, is when the mahem began. There was a boy I would say used me because I really liked him and he claimed he liked me. This is where my insecurity came in and basically I gave him head and he returned it. That was that. When I got to school I became a lil more sexual than my freshmen year. On a serious count since that summer I gave four boys head including that one from summer. I feel disgusting. Even though I'm a virgin, I still feel dirty. I read up online and I fit the characteristics of someone who holds onto her virginity so she thinks its okay to do other sexual things. What made it worse is I really regret one boy I gave head to. This boy was a good friend of the one in the summer. I did that when I cam back to school sophmore year.

I just need to know your opinions. I won't get offensive at all I just need some reassurance..thankyou.



Here you did not classify the category of a "slut" A slut is normally defined as someone who sleeps around.


1, You are not disgusting, Most woman your age have done a hell of a lot more than what you've described above

You feel regretful, Possibly because you've done sexual things to people who weren't committed to you it was more of a friends with benefits, Some worked out okay and others didn't. This is what I called a lesson you've learned the hard way, Future, I would take things slow and make sure there is trust, honesty and respect. I would recommend not doing anything sexual until you find the right person who wants to commit themselves to you. You are however an adult and I can only lend you my advice. You are not a slut and far from being labeled as one, Remember it all comes down too you had enough self respect to hold your virginity the things you've done were regretful but it sure as hell is not too late for a clean slate as if you given away your virginity it'd be too late.

[view]


F-17: This guy and I were together for 2 years and we were completely in love. We barely did anything though; we didn't need it. We split up when we went to different schools and it was a terrible break up and we weren't even friends. Now we've been apart for a little over a year now but naturally, I still have feelings for him. He says he does for me too, I know it's true. But during the year we've been apart, he was dating another girl and he had sex with her. I always thought he would be the guy I'd have sex with. Now we're finally friends again and he wants to and I know I do it's just weirding me out that it's my first time and not his; just because that's how i imagined it would be. Help!




I agree with Ninja


If you have to ask, You're not ready. Sex is something that should be special and mean something between two people if you just want to have sex because you thought that's how it would be...You are way over your head. My advice: Don't have sex for the wrong reasons, Do it because the time is right for you and your partner. Why do I suggest this? You have sex when your partner doesn't want to commit to you in the long run you hurt nobody but yourself. Don't give him what he wants, Show him you are the type that respects yourself by waiting for the right person. Rushing things is how people get hurt and the biggest thing of all you have to live with it.

[view]


My ex and I dated for a year. He broke up with me last May (7 months ago) we didn't really talk much after that. Of course i was devastated and cried myself to sleep a lot and was always in a bad mood. But then I found another guy and we are currently dating. We are dating now for about 3 months. My ex and I have gotten in touch again and I find myself thinking about the memories we had a lot. I also cry about them too because I miss them. I miss the memories. But I'm not sure if I miss him. I think I might. I know it's not fair to be thinking about my ex while dating my boyfriend... But can some people give me their opinions on what they think- if I'm still in love with my ex or not? Does it sound like I am? If I'm crying about the memories and missing them?

And just to clear this up, I'm happy with my current boyfriend. He's not a bad boyfriend at all. I'm happy with him and he's so great. But Im also thinking about my ex. What does this mean? What do I do?




1.) Your ex boyfriend broke up with YOU

From the sound of it, You are grieving the memories you and your ex boyfriend shared together. 7 Months ago is a long time and you stated you two have began talking again...A possibility, Your ex could envy you. You moved on, Your happy. Sometimes we need to except the past is the past, You said yourself your happy, Your best bet is to focus on you NOW, Your current relationship. As long as you have contact with your ex the pain will drain you, Memories will always be there. I always say toss the exes, It's less drama that way and easier to move on.

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker