I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
Visitors: 35143
Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
Razhie
ciao77
Advicelady6798
The_MoUsY_spell_checker
Cux
Erinn_the_bamf
masterclinic
Ignatz
advicenator_admin
more...
|
| |
|
Ok, for mother's day, I want to play a song on the guitar. I've tryed writing one, but i'm not very good at that at ALL. Are there any mother's day songs with chords to them that are (hopefully, but they don't have to be) humorous? Thanks!!! (link)
|
Here are some sites which I got off google, though I'm not sure whether you can play them on a guitar, but you could make up the music. Paractice does make perfect (!!!):
http://www.amazingmoms.com/htm/holiday_mothersday_songs.htm
http://www.songsforteaching.com/holiday/fathersdaymothersdaysongs.htm
http://www.soulkeepermusic.com/dearmom.htm
http://www.mothersdaycelebration.com/mothers-day-songs.html
I hope these help,
triquetra
|
Okay this is so typical but still I'm asking it:
Okay I'm 13 and in 7th grade. I have this MASSIVE crush on a guy in 10th grade, he's 16. He's an emo, but he doesn't cut himself or any of that. But I just think he's so hot. Plus EVERYONE is in love with him. What do I do. (link)
|
Anything is possible when it comes to love.
However, I've got some concern over the age's here. Not wanting to sound pushy or anything but don't you think that going out with a guy 3 years older than you are is a bit...well...odd? I'm mean, if you're fine with it, that's good but that's my opinion, you can ignore it. But I would surgest to look for somebody else around your age, once again, you can ignore this as well if you want.
Now, what to do. Go and sit with him at lunch time or when ever you see him, and just talk to him and find out some things about him. That shows that you're interested in him and if he responds, he could be interested in you then take it from there.
But don't get your hopes up, he may not well have the same feelings for you as you do for him. He could be with somebody else or just not interested in a realtionship right now. You see this guy everyday and should know how he reacts, I don't so I'm shooting in the dark here about how he will react. I mean it's great that you love him, but he may not feel the same way.
I'm sorry if it wasn't what you wanted, but I can't think of anything else apart from sitting with him and talking to him.
Good luck,
triquetra
|
|
Im going to make a HUGE story short. My parents have been fighting for over 10 years and didnt even sleep in the same bed. NOW FINALLY they split in january my dad left without givivng anyone notice and screwed us over big time leaving us HUGE BILLS to pay. we were never great financially and now we are worse. me and my sis have been helping my mom...$200, $300, or $500 a month whateer we can afford. I asked my dad for money. I am the only one who still talks to him since he left. I want to have some sort of relationship with my father. but he told me he wouldnt give me anything if it will in someway help my mother (HE IS A BIG BABY) even though it is helping his daughters. I want to give up on my relationship with him since it was never such a great relationship anyway but i feel so bad and sad that he may one day end up alone. He is very dependable on people but has a bi-polar like personality so it is VERY hard to talk to him about serious things. Since i asked him for moneyi havnt talked to him. he just called me because he is doing some testing at the hospital and he was relying on my to go with him. Im not there and I FEEL TERRIBLE. he is giving the doctor my number so he can call me and explain the results since my dad is foreign and has bad english. PLEASE help, my dad abandoned my family and his ex-wifes and his 6 kids with her before being with my mom. it seems like he just gets on everybodies nerves and thinks everyone is against him at times. BUT he is so Dependable on people. I can't imagine where he would end up if i cut off all communication with him. What should I DO???? (link)
|
This reminds of a situation which I was in a while back but it was quite different.
I'm going to recommend you to talk to another advice columnist who's on this site. She helped me when I was in my particular situation and she's abosolutly great. Here's her link:
http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=familyfirst
Trust me, she's great.
As from me, don't blame yourself, because it wasn't your fault (or anybodies fault) that he left TWO families behind and that one had six kids and the other was in debt.
If he isn't going to be there for his families, or his children, then why should you be there for him? He got himself into this mess, and therefore he should get himself out of it.
I don't mean to be harsh honey, but think about it, you asked him for help and he didn't give it. But he asked you for help and you're thinking about doing so. Don't do something for somebody unless they're willing to do something in return, otherwise he could take advantage of that fact. Like you said, he depends upon others which does sound like a bit of a plea for help, but he can twist it to his own advantage. Just keep in mind that I don't know your dad, so I don't know what he's like. I'm only speaking what I think.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
|
Ok I'm 13 so this is pretty typical... There's this guy named Josh. I like him a lot, but he's dating my best friend, Angela. Today he just told me that he likes me but he just realized this. Angela is getting tired of him and I only know this because she told me. Josh really understands me, and I feel like I can really open up to him which makes this even tougher! I don't want Angela to be mad, but I really want to be with Josh! What do I do??? (link)
|
Ask Angela whether it's okay for you to date him. Don't ask though until they break up and wait for a respectable period of time before dating him, if you do begin to date him just after they break up, then Angela may feel upset and may get angry...actually, she probably will unless you speak to her before hand and see where she stands on this.
IMPORTANT:
YOU MUST TALK TO ANGELA BEFORE HAND, OTHERWISE SOMETHING UGLY COULD HAPPEN.
You know you love Josh and Josh loves you, but the decision really does rest upon Angela being okay with the two of you going out together.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
|
okay i have this friend..we'll call her A. so me and A have been friends for 5 years now and 2 years ago she got really mad and turned all my friends against me for about 6 months. well last year my life was starting to come back together..i got my friends back and it just seemed alot better. well apparently she wasn't done with trying ruin my life. for spring break..which was april 11th for me i took A to myrtle beaCH WITH me adn my family..she was a bitch to me wihle we were there. she treated me like i was absolute shit and it was annoying but since she was the guest i had to be nice..we got home after that week an d we didnt talk as much and then we were working together in spanish class and shes really really dumb in spanish..like always asks me for answers and we have a regents this yr that its mandatory yoou pass. so we were working together and she goes how do you spell bicicleta i go sound it out and she like threw her paper and got so mad at me i was like uh..okay. well this happened last thursday and shes still mad! like ik its the dumbest reason but AGAIN shes trying to turn people against me. she commented me on myspace nd goes not trying to start anything but keep ym name out of your mouth..i didnt asnwer cause im sick of her shit and she told my friend that if i didnt answer she would text me and if i didnt answer the text she woulod come up to me and bitch me out and beat my ass..i think its pathetic to be honest. but ik soon she will want to be my friend again but she does this to me so much im just gonna tell her im done with her bc she considered me her best friend and thats not how you treat a best friend. idk what im really asking i guess i just need help on this whole situation.. (link)
|
Well, what's the reason for her anger? I'm assuming it was nothing that you did since you didn't mention anything in your letter.
I guess the simple answer is to ignore her: block her from your myspace (if you can) and don't sit with her in class. Sit with other people and don't look at her and certainly don't help her when she asks for it, you don't owe her anything. You've got no reason to speak to her if she's trying to ruin your life.
Go to a teacher and tell them what's happening as well as your parents. This isn't cowardly, it's brave because your 'friend' has no right to do what she's doing and your stopping her before she hurts somebody else.
Sad really, usually, I'd be looking for a way to save this realtionship becasue it sounded great before all this happened. But I can't see a way out of this one.
Remeber: the bullys are the weak ones, they're the ones with issues and can't face up to those issues and try and blame somebody else whom they think are weaker, when in reality, the weak ones are the bullies themselves. The strong ones are the ones whom stand up to them.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
14/f
ok so i like this guy i have liked him for a while. he is reallly really hot and really nice to me. well the other day. this is weird but w/e he took my candy andthen was like lani is my girlfriend! all my friends were in shock bcuz he is liek the hottest guy and they all want him. but liek i know he was joking. and my friend asked if he was at a party if he would hook up with me and he said yes. i really like him and i wanna hook up with him but like id im really confused abotu hwat i should do like wat are some good flirty lines i can say to him and stuff to nake him want me more? (link)
|
I know you're excited or worried about something but just take two minutes to check over the spelling. Proper spelling and grammer is encouraged here, it looks good on our columns and for visitors. Don't mean to be a push over but a little care over a question can go a long way in the kind of response you get.
Now, don't try and make a fuss over him, just be yourself. Why? Because if you try and make too much of an effort, you may embarss yourself in some way or another. If you try and be somebody whom you're not, then you run the risk of becoming a person whom your boyfriend didn't fall in love with and may break up with you and we don't want that.
Act naturally, be calm and just don't over do it. Remember, it doesn't matter what a date does, what does matter is how they do it. If they're all flirty, a the boyfriend isn't, he may not appeal to that. But if it's the other way round, then you'll get the opposite effects.
But if your boyfriend does like the flirting thing, then once again, be natural and don't put on an act, it'll come naturally to you.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
|
25/f. Dated many guys, here and there. Had 4 serious relationships. Met a guy about four years ago. We have never had a serious relationship, but have been out a few times. He always comes and goes out of my life. I really feel a strong connection to him. He lives about 5 hours from me. (driving) I think that I may like him because he is so far. haha. I would give it a chance, but i feel like he is very distant and doesnt want a relationship with me. However, he is the one who always contacts me. Should i just move on? I know, in my head i should...but my heart feels differently. (link)
|
If this guy stands out to you and you feel something towards him, then give it a go and see what happens but YOU should ask HIM out and see what happens and how he responds.
There could be the possibility that he likes you too but scared that you may not feel the same way about him as he does about you (which you know isn't true), but you're making the first move. Call him, and ask him whether you could meet him somewhere for dinner.
Not breakfast because they're always tough to pull off and aren't really 'dates', lunch is an okay but dinner is definitly a date. It will show him that you have some feelings for him and he may respond in the same way.
Ignore the distance, as long as it isn't majorly far, then the realtionship can work but only as long as the two of you work together, if it gets that far (which I hope it does). Now, for long-distance relationships, I tend to surgest Skype to couples because you can talk over the internet for free and the sound is so clear that it makes it seem as if they're next to you (trust me, I've used it countless times and it's never failed once). Here's the site:
www.skype.co.uk
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
13/f
my best friends boyfriend likes me A LOT.
a couple days ago we were watching softball ***school thing*** and he played me a song. He said "listen to it". It was Far Away by Nickleback. I love that song. I didn't think anything by it. But today at lunch if he really felt that way and he said yes. So the song was in my head and i was listening to it on my ipod. "I dont like him i just really love the song." and my best friend got mad at me because i was listening to the song that explained his feelings. Please help me (link)
|
I don't really understand your question. Inbox me and point out what the probelm is or add more deatails to your question.
THIS ISN'T MY ANSWER.
triquetra
|
|
About every night or so I have these horrible dreams that me and my boyfriend break up and I leave him for my ex. But in real life I would never ever want to do that! or even think about doing it. Me and my ex went out for less then a week so I didnt really like him. and me and my boyfriend have been together for about a month now...I really like him. Are these dreams because Im scared to loose him? Also every time I have these dreams I tell my boyfriend. I dont know why I do..I just think he has a right to know when I dream about him. He thinks if I keep dreaming it..then its going to happen. I'm scared he's going to end up thinking I dont want him...but everytime we are together I show him how much I care for him so maybe that isn't true. I dont know...I'm just paranoid to loose him because everyone I've had in my life has walked off. either with someone else or just alone. (meaning I got cheated on alot) but anyways...what's up with these dreams? (link)
|
It seems to me that you're afraid to loose this guy. Becasue you didn't like the other guy, you're just afraid that something may happen and that you loose your current boyfriend and end up with somebody whom you don't like.
It won't happen unless something happens which makes the breakup happen.
When you dream, your subconscious self is telling you as to what you're feeling at the moment in time, so right now, you're main concern is to keep your boyfriend close to you and that you don't want to end up with somebody like your last boyfriend.
I would also surgest that you stop telling him that you have these dreams, because the more often that you tell him that you have them, the more lkely it will be that he begins to pull away and you've already said that he thinks that it will happen, so he may begin to pull away. So don't tell him if you want the realtionship to last.
Here's a website which I found which could help, just scroll down to 'Break-Up' and see whether that helps:
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/b3.htm
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
|
im going through some things and i really just want to listen to some sad slow songs or some love songs im very mad to but more sad me and my boyfriend are getting along to good so if you know any songs then please tell them to me. thank you very much (link)
|
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
One Sweet Day -Mariah Carey (duet with Boyz // Men)
Anytime You Need A Friend - Mariah Carey.
My All - Mariah Carey.
Endless Love - Mariah Carey (duet with Luther Vandross)
Footprints in the Sand - Leona Lewis.
Without You - Mariah Carey.
As you can tell, I'm a fan of Mariah!!!
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
Hey! Im f/13
Okay so my friend Alex has been my friend for years, but we've never really gotten close. we've always been called brother and sister because we look so alike, and whenever somebody asks he says "No! Never! That would suck!". And then one day walking home from school one of his friends were like "whose that? girlfriend?" and Im also walking with a friend and so I start blushing, but Alex doesnt decline the fact, just smiles. So one night, he texts me and asks if I want to come play basketball so I go and hang out for a bit, and it might've been just me but I thought he was flirting.. Well the next day he texts me asking if I like him, so I say "maybe" just to see what he said back. He texts back saying the same thing, and ever since he has acted really weird around me. I didn't like him that way when this all started but i think I am starting to. My friends always tease me about liking him & being teased about that is embarrassing so I blush and that really doesnt help. Idk what is happening, but I dont think Im ready for a BF. Id be all nervous around him and knowing him, he would too. I dont know what Im asking, but if you know what's going on with him..
(link)
|
Well, you haven't really been telling anyone that you don't like him, have you? Or are you telling yourself that you don't like him? Either way, the fact that you deny your feelings tells me that you feel quite the opposite.
By denying your feelings for him, they kind of grow till the point that you accept as to what you feel. The more you deny, the bigger they will grow. Kinda sucks but that's what happens.
Most people don't think that they're ready for a boyfriend...actually...come to think of it, you're the first person I've come across whose felt that they're not ready. Most other people whom I've answered aren't ready for a realtionship, yet they're in one already and struggling. So take your time, if you don't think that you're ready, then you aren't.
But before you make any decisions, why don't you surgest that the two of you have a 'trial-date' and see how that goes. That way, you can see whether you're ready or not.
But if you decide not to go through with a realtionship, you need to tell him because he also loves you and I don't what he's like, so I don't know how he will react.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
fifteen/female, well here is my problem -
i show no emotion, what so ever it's like i can't cry when i'm upset mad ect, and i just want to cry sometimes- but i can't -i hold it in, because when i do cry i think to myself [WOW ARE YOU REALLY CRYING OVER THIS? WOW SUCK IT UP AND STOP BEING SUCH A BABY ABOUT IT BLAHBLAHBLAHHHHH!] its like that ALL the time i cry or start to anyway, and i don't like it, i don't like holding it in; it's making me become someone i don't want to be and it's driving me insane!!! i just don't wanna be that person anymore i dont wanna hold everything in side; and like i can't talk to my friends about it because i feel as though thay don't want to hear it and i'm talking to much, so really i don't know what i should do; it' has been this way for a long time a very long time and it makes me SUPER mean because i hold everything in i have no emotion really!
in all honesty what would you do? any advice would do me good work so please (link)
|
NEVER HOLD IN YOUR EMOTIONS.
I was exactly like this a while back, holding everything in, thinking it would make me stronger, but you know what? It did the opposite for me and it wasn't a nice feeling, not being able to express anything. I became this anti-social person who had no life and no friends and that was hard for me because it wasn't who I really was.
So I began to go to the school counsellor and I found that it really helped because this guy just listened and understood as to where I was coming from and understood what I was really feeling deep down and that was the turning point in my life because now I can talk with others normally and socialize with other people properly. By the way, in this case, it was anger that I was holding in and when it comes out in torrents, it's not pretty at all!!!
So that is what I advise you to do. Go to your school councellor and just talk things over with him/her. Let it all out of your system. All things which you talk to your counsellor about is confidential. Expressing emotions, even over little things, is perfectly fine. When ever you feel like crying, ignore what you think, just let it come naturally, don't try to surpress it (or any other emotions really).
I hope this helped and go to the counsellor,
triquetra
|
16 f
okay so on april 10 me and my friend cut the last 2 periods of class. i really dont cut but that day we had a sub so i did. i felt really guilty btw for that so i know i will never cutt ever again. and also in the morning i missed 1 class like 2 times becuase i woke up late and i didnt know that was considered cutting. so they sent me a note frm the school my mom read it and shes really angry. i feel so guilty. she said if its true she will ground me for the whole summer! so she said she was going to go to the school and check. i dont know what to do im so scared shes really against cutting. i know i did wrong i learned my lesson im not cutting again i tried to talk to her to tell her that but she wont listen what should i do i think if she finds out it was true shes going to hit me with the belt since shes so old fashioned.
(link)
|
Firstly, I don't think that she will hit you since it's against the law. And if she does, go and tell somebody, she's got no right no matter how old fashoined she may be.
Secondly, you need to make her listen. Tell her everything which you've written down because that way, you'll avoid any other problems which may arise in the distant future. You made a mistake, now you're going to learn from it and she needs to know that. Everybody makes mistakes, nobody in this world is 'perfect', there is always a fault with a person in some way or another.
Don't be afraid of anything.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
I'm going to tell you a bit about the guy first.
He's a goth, not because he listens to death metal and so on, he's always been like that, he's not a poser. Naturally he wears eyeliner and so on. He's a weird kid too. He dropped out of school (long story) and now he's at home with his dad. His dad doesn't give a shit so the guy (Andy) does what ever the fuck he wants. He isn't home schooled, but he's studying how to pierce and also studies languages.
Three months ago he was at a concert, and he got incredibly drunk and started a fight with a random guy. The guy got his friends on Andy and he got the living shit kicked out of him.
Three days later Andy went to the doctor and he was told that he's lost vision in his left eye for ever.
He was very fucked off at that and now whenever I see him he wears a contact lens (You know how Marilyn Manson wears a white one, well Andy wears a red one) and then he wears black and red eyeliner on that eye.
He won't talk about it at the moment, but I know he's destroyed on the inside because it'll be hard for him to carry on his piercing career with one eye.
How can I help him? What could I do to make him feel better, or talk to me about it?
Oh, for your information. I'm 15/f he's 16 and I've known him for 6 years. I go to his house almost every day. We even dated at one point. The only problem is that when before we used to watch movies or just talk at his house, now he invites me in, brings a 8 pack of beer and when I leave like three hours later a bit tipsy, he's drunk out of his mind and saying stuff like ''I don't wanna fucking live this half life. What the fuck is the point!?''
I love him so much (not really romantically, but I just love him) and I hate seeing him like this.
PS. He's never been depressed in his life before. He's always happy,funny and positive. (link)
|
Okay, firstly lay of the swearing. Here, we don't like to see swearing in ANY of our columns or answers. I know that you're angry and that's the only way to express it but just go easy on it.
Secondly, be there for him. He's going through a tough period in his life where everything could change. I get the feeling that his ear pericing dreams are over because when you loose one eye, then you loose the 3-D vision thing and coordination is very difficult so that's one thing he needs to learn. I don't mean to be harsh but I'm being realistic here, people won't want somebody to perice their ear if they've only got half-vision just incase something goes wrong. Let him know that he can talk to you anytime that he wants and that you're there for him.
He needs support going through this and if his dad isn't there for that support, then it's going to have to be you because you're the next person who cares about him.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
18/f dating an 18/m
Ok. I live in Illinois and I'm in a 4 month long distance relationship with a boy who lives in North Carolina. We met a year ago and when he was in town over new years we finally decided to try the long distance thing. we mostly talk every day through texting and over the phone and through MSN and stuff. so from January all through March things are going amazingly well. We spent two weeks together over spring break, and he's coming here this weekend for my prom. I know I'm head over heels in love with him.
But, lately he's been kind of distant.. like I have to be the one instigating the conversations and I have to seek him out. We don't really have a lot to talk about except make little jokes and mild flirtation. THe other day I called him twice and he didn't answer or call me back at all until the following day. My friends keep saying he's being an asshole and I should tell him, but I really don't want to be "That bitchy, nagging girlfriend". I'm crazy about him, and he says he loves me, but the distance is really making em paranoid.
What should I do? I've gone to bed the past few nights almsot in tears because i'm getting so frustrated by him ignoring me... I have thoughts about moving in together and such. I'm so in love, and he's the funniest, most romantic person I know (and the first guy to make me feel wanted and loved) but I think we've lost the spark due to the distance. Please help!
Thanks so much in advance. (link)
|
Well, ever thought about the fact that he could be busy?
You're quite right not to listen to what your frineds say about him, because it's your own choice as to what you want to do. If you're in love with him, then that should be enough for them.
Now, as for your boyfriend. Usually, I would tell couples to get Skype for a long distance relatioship, but it seems you've got that covered so well done on that!! But in case you do want to try it, here's the website for it and see what you think: www.skype.co.uk
When you next talk to him, ask how his day has been and whether it's been busy lately and those kinds of things and if he asks you, then you tell him. Even the smallest stuff can help generate a good conversation. Ask how work is going because then he knows that you're interested in what he does.
Just a word of advice, don't try and chase him for a conversation. If he wants to talk, then he'll call you when he's got the time.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
|
i have a guinea pig and right behind her left and right ears, she seems to have a patch of hair just like, missing. like if i move the fur apart she just has a chunk missing. it's about the size of a dime or penny. it's the size of a quarter behind her left ear. the skin is dry and she was not reacting when i touched it (it's not itchy or anything) and it's black. what could it be? i'm going to take her to the vet, but in the meantime, what might it possibly be from the symtoms i've listed? (link)
|
I've got a guinea pig and these bald spots are perfectly normal. Don't know why they're there but there shouldn't be anything to worry about. The skin being black could just be the skin colour.
triquetra
|
|
Ok I'm female, and I have this guy friend I really love to talk on the computer to, but when I talk to other people I just don't feel comfortable and it's a really big drag because I really don't know how to communicate with them and it's really weird and awkward. I love talking to him because he can communitcate with me and keep a conversation. I also feel really good when I do talk to him, and it's confusing me what I feel. What do I feel? (link)
|
You feel more secure about what you're saying when your talking to your friend over the internet because you can think about what you're going to say to him for more time and can word it correctly so it sounds interesting.
Whilst with other people, you have to think on the spot as to what you're going to say and once it's said, it either sounds offensive or people don't get it.
I'm going to recommend a book by Debra Fine which is called 'The Fine Art of Small" which helps you to deal with any conversation in any situation, not that you need help in conversation, just to help you when you talk with your other friends and not making awkward. I've used this book and it has really helped me in the past.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
|
I am very depressed and suicidal and very upset and I thought I had friends but I guess not.I just want to cope with it and not care. I just don't want to do anything crazy over these assholes but I just need a way to cope. can anyone please give me some help or advice? (link)
|
Whenever I'm in this situation, I turn to relaxing songs which help promote self-confidence in myself.
I used to be in this position myself, no friends to speak of, a loner and nobody cared for what I thought. But I changed all of that. I began to speak to other people, sat with them and began to include myself in their conversations and that was a big turn around for me.
That it what i surgest to you, go and sit with other people. That way, they can begin to notice you and care for you. And plus, you strengthen the bond of friendship between you or even create new ones.
It took a lot of confidence from me to take this step, but it was well worth it in the end.
Here are lyrics to one of my favorite songs. It was this song which helped me to get to where I am now. It's by Mariah Carey and it's called 'Hero':
"There's a hero,
If you look inside your heart,
You don't have to be afraid of what you are,
There's an answer,
If you reach into your soul,
And the sorrow that you know will melt away.
[chorus]
And then a hero comes along,
With the strenght to carry on,
And you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive,
So when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong,
And you'll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you.
It's a long road,
When you face the world alone,
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold,
You can find love, oh yes you can,
If you search within yourself,
And the emptiness you felt will disappear.
[chorus]
Lord knows,
Dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away,
Just hold on and hold on and hold on,
And there will be tomorrow,
In time you'll find the way.
[chorus]
Oh yes it does, oh yes it does,
I know it does. A hero lies in you."
Think about the meaning and see what it does for you.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
|
hey well me and my bestest friend just got out of a disagreement and everything is great!! well we kinda dated be4... he is soo sweet to me. but he lives far away and my feelings are just as strong. he just got out of a bad relationship and he is dealing with it... he still has some feelings for her and well you see...she kinda played him in a way...but i care alot about him... we have helped eachother through everything....he has thought about us getting back together but he isnt sure..its not something we can just talk about..knowing that we both know he has feelings for someone else to that he isnt completely over...but is trying to be....he calls me cutie,sweetie,babe,baby(mostly), he says i make him laugh, that i am always open minded with him and dont judge him for his opinions and beliefs, that i understand him, and alot more... well this is kinda a long distance thing and well i talked to him on the phone for the first time....i think i love him more than i know i do...i dream about me and him...all that stuff...how do i deal with these emotions without telling him..i dont want him to know until i know that i can see him and that he really loves me to...hes been the most real and true friend...and i think i am IN love not just loving him... (link)
|
I'm assuming that he's a bit to far for you to just drive to him, right? So, for that problem, here's my surgestion: ever heard of Skype? If not, here's the site and see what you think of it:
http://www.skype.com/intl/en-gb/getconnected/.
It's dead useful for over seas calls and FREE as well (but only if you call other people who've got Skype). Ask your friend to get it and you can talk to each other till your hearts content and it will cost NOTHING!!!
Now, as for your emotions. I think it is best to arrange for you to meet him some way so that you can see how he acts towards you. Now, if you try and do this next step, you'll be taking the biggest risk: ask him how he feels for you. That is the only way that you'll ever find out properly. And then you can tell him what you feel for him.
Before you make a judgement on this, read on.
There is a really good reason for this answer and the following is true. When we surpress our emotions, we run the risk 'burying' those emotions and deny them. I did this recently and it has turned out to be the greatest mistake I ever made. I had these...amazing feelings for this person, but I didn't tell them what i felt. I surpressed them and denyed them, now I don't feel the way I want to feel when I see this particular person, even though I know how I used to feel.
Please, don't make the mistake which I made, otherwise you'll regret it. Trust me, telling somebody what you feel is the best thing which you can do for yourself.
Good luck with the future and don't forget about the Skype,
triquetra
|
This is not a huge deal, I just don't know what to do. I have these two very good friends, Sabrina and Julie. We are pretty close, and all three of us do track together. The thing is, I always feel like a third wheel with them. They are always laughing and joking and I am standing there trying to go along with it, but when I say something they kind of just look at me. They have eachother, cool. Thing is I don't have many friends on track, so without them I am pretty lonely. Whenever one of them is not at practice or whatever, the other one comes and is all chummy with me until the other one is back. It is like I am the friend that is being used when the other is not there. It doesn't seem fair. Today at the meet they left me, so I was alone for most of the time. I am friends with other people on the team of course, but not close enough. I want to just swallow the problem and ignore it, but it is just getting worse. I don't want to seem like the whining friend that complains, "Oh, you ignore me." So I don't really know what to do.
Any help? (link)
|
I kind of get what you're taking about. You feel as if you're only a 'backup friend', not somebody whom you can share your secrets and desires.
I used to be in this position, but I worked my way into the close knit of friends and I think that it is only now that I'm getting to the same level as everybody in my school after two years of being here!
For you, I kind of get the feeling that Sabrina and Julie know each other a lot better than they know you, which could be a reason as to why they hang out with each other more often.
So, I would just keep cool and go along with the flow and onyl say things if they fit into the general conversation. Speaking of which, I'm going to recommend a book which has helped me in the past and I'm sure it could help you. It's a book by Debra Fine called "The Fine Art of Small Talk" which basically helps you in any conversation situation.
Now, I'm sure that you're fine in coversations, but to avoid these odd silences when you say something, it could help to minimize those from happening.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
|