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True friends?
This is not a huge deal, I just don't know what to do. I have these two very good friends, Sabrina and Julie. We are pretty close, and all three of us do track together. The thing is, I always feel like a third wheel with them. They are always laughing and joking and I am standing there trying to go along with it, but when I say something they kind of just look at me. They have eachother, cool. Thing is I don't have many friends on track, so without them I am pretty lonely. Whenever one of them is not at practice or whatever, the other one comes and is all chummy with me until the other one is back. It is like I am the friend that is being used when the other is not there. It doesn't seem fair. Today at the meet they left me, so I was alone for most of the time. I am friends with other people on the team of course, but not close enough. I want to just swallow the problem and ignore it, but it is just getting worse. I don't want to seem like the whining friend that complains, "Oh, you ignore me." So I don't really know what to do.
Any help?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I've been in a situation exactly like this. Two best friends and I was the third wheel. They were mean and terrible friends. But despite that, I continued to follow them everywhere and hold onto the friendship.
I didn't even try to make any other friends. I eventually called it off with them and now, two years later I don't have as many friends as I would like to. Now I wished I called it off earlier and tried to make more friends then.
My point is, keep being friends with them but REALLY REALLY try to be friends with the other girls on the team. This will 1) maybe make Julie and Sabrina jealous and wish they were nicer to you and 2) give you more friends and make you happier and better off
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I kind of get what you're taking about. You feel as if you're only a 'backup friend', not somebody whom you can share your secrets and desires.
I used to be in this position, but I worked my way into the close knit of friends and I think that it is only now that I'm getting to the same level as everybody in my school after two years of being here!
For you, I kind of get the feeling that Sabrina and Julie know each other a lot better than they know you, which could be a reason as to why they hang out with each other more often.
So, I would just keep cool and go along with the flow and onyl say things if they fit into the general conversation. Speaking of which, I'm going to recommend a book which has helped me in the past and I'm sure it could help you. It's a book by Debra Fine called "The Fine Art of Small Talk" which basically helps you in any conversation situation.
Now, I'm sure that you're fine in coversations, but to avoid these odd silences when you say something, it could help to minimize those from happening.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i dont know how long you guys have been friends with each other, but it kind of seems to me that maybe they have known each other longer so thats why they are closer, and have there own little jokes between them.
again, i could be wrong. but when i see something like that, it tends to be in that direction of some sort.
i definitely dont think you should just brush this off though. you guys are all really good friends, so feeling left out is something that shouldnt happen when it comes to best friends. if you start to feel left out when it comes to whatever they are doing again, i think it would be best to let them know whats going on in your head about all of this.
chances are, they dont realize you feel this way. sometimes people cant tell whats really bothering other people, thats why we always need to express our feelings towards others.
so let them know. and when you do, they are going to do everything they can to make sure it doesnt happen again. i know they want to be close with you too, so make sure and point out the fact that you feel like they arent meeting you half way.
good luck
(:
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