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Parents Split??
Im going to make a HUGE story short. My parents have been fighting for over 10 years and didnt even sleep in the same bed. NOW FINALLY they split in january my dad left without givivng anyone notice and screwed us over big time leaving us HUGE BILLS to pay. we were never great financially and now we are worse. me and my sis have been helping my mom...$200, $300, or $500 a month whateer we can afford. I asked my dad for money. I am the only one who still talks to him since he left. I want to have some sort of relationship with my father. but he told me he wouldnt give me anything if it will in someway help my mother (HE IS A BIG BABY) even though it is helping his daughters. I want to give up on my relationship with him since it was never such a great relationship anyway but i feel so bad and sad that he may one day end up alone. He is very dependable on people but has a bi-polar like personality so it is VERY hard to talk to him about serious things. Since i asked him for moneyi havnt talked to him. he just called me because he is doing some testing at the hospital and he was relying on my to go with him. Im not there and I FEEL TERRIBLE. he is giving the doctor my number so he can call me and explain the results since my dad is foreign and has bad english. PLEASE help, my dad abandoned my family and his ex-wifes and his 6 kids with her before being with my mom. it seems like he just gets on everybodies nerves and thinks everyone is against him at times. BUT he is so Dependable on people. I can't imagine where he would end up if i cut off all communication with him. What should I DO????
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
This reminds of a situation which I was in a while back but it was quite different.
I'm going to recommend you to talk to another advice columnist who's on this site. She helped me when I was in my particular situation and she's abosolutly great. Here's her link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Trust me, she's great.
As from me, don't blame yourself, because it wasn't your fault (or anybodies fault) that he left TWO families behind and that one had six kids and the other was in debt.
If he isn't going to be there for his families, or his children, then why should you be there for him? He got himself into this mess, and therefore he should get himself out of it.
I don't mean to be harsh honey, but think about it, you asked him for help and he didn't give it. But he asked you for help and you're thinking about doing so. Don't do something for somebody unless they're willing to do something in return, otherwise he could take advantage of that fact. Like you said, he depends upon others which does sound like a bit of a plea for help, but he can twist it to his own advantage. Just keep in mind that I don't know your dad, so I don't know what he's like. I'm only speaking what I think.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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Don't feel like this is your battle to take part in. What's going on is between your mom and your dad. They are your parents and they are old enough to sort things out on their own, financially, socially, etc. Your father is a grown man and you shouldn't feel as if its up to you to keep him in line. As much as you may want to, only he can fix his mistakes.
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