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I'm in love, but the long distance is hard.
18/f dating an 18/m
Ok. I live in Illinois and I'm in a 4 month long distance relationship with a boy who lives in North Carolina. We met a year ago and when he was in town over new years we finally decided to try the long distance thing. we mostly talk every day through texting and over the phone and through MSN and stuff. so from January all through March things are going amazingly well. We spent two weeks together over spring break, and he's coming here this weekend for my prom. I know I'm head over heels in love with him.
But, lately he's been kind of distant.. like I have to be the one instigating the conversations and I have to seek him out. We don't really have a lot to talk about except make little jokes and mild flirtation. THe other day I called him twice and he didn't answer or call me back at all until the following day. My friends keep saying he's being an asshole and I should tell him, but I really don't want to be "That bitchy, nagging girlfriend". I'm crazy about him, and he says he loves me, but the distance is really making em paranoid.
What should I do? I've gone to bed the past few nights almsot in tears because i'm getting so frustrated by him ignoring me... I have thoughts about moving in together and such. I'm so in love, and he's the funniest, most romantic person I know (and the first guy to make me feel wanted and loved) but I think we've lost the spark due to the distance. Please help!
Thanks so much in advance.
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I think you should ask him if there's anything wrong. Don't accuse him of cheating. But just be like "So seem a little distant lately is anything wrong?" If he says nothing and continues to act distant than it's time for you to decide whether you want to continue or move. You've said yourself that you feel you've lost the spark and maybe he's thinking the same thing. Maybe you should try talking to him about that too and make a conclusion from his response. Like if he says the sparks still there and then still acts different. Chances are somethings changed and it might be best to move on, but if he tells you what's wrong and you guys try to work it out it might work. Though you should both also discuss if either of you like or want to continue doing something that's long distance.
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I feel you're worrying over nothing at the moment. He may have a genuine reason as to why he's been a bit distant.
If it's bothering you, just tell him. Don't say it in a harsh way, just tell it as it is. "it feels as though you're avoiding me lately"
Simple.
He'll ask you why you think that and you can explain your reasons. You won't be that "bitchy, nagging girlfriend" - it just shows you care and you're wondering if everything is okay with him.
You are his girlfriend - you have every right to say what's on your mind, just don't go over the top and seem possessive.
It's probably best to tell him this face to face when he comes at the weekend, too. That way, you won't be worrying even more and you can make sure you both have a good time, whilst still having a good talk about things.
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Well, ever thought about the fact that he could be busy?
You're quite right not to listen to what your frineds say about him, because it's your own choice as to what you want to do. If you're in love with him, then that should be enough for them.
Now, as for your boyfriend. Usually, I would tell couples to get Skype for a long distance relatioship, but it seems you've got that covered so well done on that!! But in case you do want to try it, here's the website for it and see what you think: www.skype.co.uk
When you next talk to him, ask how his day has been and whether it's been busy lately and those kinds of things and if he asks you, then you tell him. Even the smallest stuff can help generate a good conversation. Ask how work is going because then he knows that you're interested in what he does.
Just a word of advice, don't try and chase him for a conversation. If he wants to talk, then he'll call you when he's got the time.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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