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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
23/f
I've been with my boyfriend for quite some time. The only thing is that I moved out of state. I'm a flight attendant so I just would go visit on my days off.
Anyways, I feel like whenever I ask him to visit, he doesn't seem anywhere near excited and tells me reasons why he can't come visit. He's on my flight benefits so money isn't an issue.
Before he was in school, so I never asked him to visit. I was completely understanding and wouldn't want to take him away on his only days off.
He's done with school now. Just looking for work.
One time I asked him and he just plainly said he wasn't feeling good. So I was fine with that and flew there instead.
Another time he said he'd think about it, and didn't tell me until the day of that he wasn't coming. So I flew there.
Another time I told him if he wants to visit on my birthday, it's no big deal but he can if he wants. I asked him again and he said he made plans to help his friend pack up his house because I said it was no big deal. I shouldn't have said it was no big deal but I thought he'd want to spend my birthday with me.
Then he did visit me. I did have to feel like I was pulling his leg.
And last week I asked him to visit me today but he said he needs to buckle down and try harder on applying for jobs online. I told him he can come here and apply online. He said he he wants his dad to help him and he'll back back at the end of this week. He'd be going back at the end of the week so I didn't understand.
I'm just getting tired of flying back there on my days off. I want my days off to really be my days off. I live in the sky, I don't need to fly on my days off. Besides that, he lives with his parents so it's not the greatest. I'm glad his parents are okay with him living there while he looks for a job with his degree but if he's not working, why can't he see me more?
When we're together it's amazing. When he has visited, it was so much fun and he loved it.
This time I didn't fly back. I'm thinking just don't go back and if he really wants to see me, he'll come here?
I talked to him and every time he had his reasons for not visiting. I know he doesn't like flying. Complains about TSA and he gets motion sickness. He'll take meds though.
But I mean he's dating a flight attendant..I'm just tired of me always flying back and I've told him.
Any other ideas besides just simply not going back? Is there anything else I can say to him?
It makes me feel like he doesn't miss me. He'll assure me he does but always has reasons for not visiting.
I hate to say this but it sounds to me as if you are traveling all over the country and maybe the world while he is at home possibly finding companionship closer to home. If t is possible I would check to see if he is using your flight benefits without you. If so that should be an indication he has an interest closer to home.
His excuse of looking for jobs on-line is a bit lame. I know this is the 21st century and things are done on-line more and more, still there is no replacement for wearing out some shoe leather ad visiting the places you might like to work and applying in person. You need a really outstanding resume to get pick for an on-line application. Where applying in person shows initiative. If he is just using on-line applications he is showing me a lack of initiative.
If I were you I would cancel his flight benefits and start looking at some of the good looking young First Officers you are flying with. For one thing you know their future earnings potential and you can see their work ethic and how they spend their layovers.
This guys constant excuses are telling me his interest in you is not what it use to be.
Me and this guy have been talking and hanging out fora few months months. I've told him about my depression and he's been really understanding and supportive, but I was wondering if I should tell him about me hurting myself. Would it be a good/bad idea? Should I trust telling him that? What if he reacts in a bad way?
(I am taking mood stabilizers and antidepressants PLUS going to therapy. I don't need any advice or help on dealing with self harm, but I appreciate the concern.)
Thanks.
Having been in therapy myself for a deep depression my advice is this. First discus it with your therapist and see whet he or she thinks. IF your therapist thinks that you should be open with your boyfriend and divulge everything and that you are ready to handle any possible rejection from him.
Then I suggest you ask your therapist if you can bring your boyfriend to a session where you divulge this two him. Your therapist is there to support you and to answer any questions you boyfriend may have.
I did this with my wife on something my therapist dug out of me. While it had nothing to do with her it was something she should know and we decided the best place to tell her was in a therapy session. Then my wife decided to come to a session to tell me my son and my future daughter in-law have decided they would not be having children. Since I was so looking forward to being a grandfather my wife thought the news might upset me and set me back. Fact is I had already figured out they were not planning on having children as anytime I asked they skirted the issue.
So first talk to your therapist about whether or no your ready to divulge this in formation.
Second ask your therapist what he or she thinks about bringing your boyfriend to a therapy session to tell him.
My boyfriend and i have been together for 4 months. I’ve known him for over a year though. We met through working together. In the beginning he did everything to get my attention. He’d go to the gym with me, we’d go to the movies, he took me to San Antonio, and our conversations were always super friendly and he cared about everything i had to say, i fell for him because he seemed like a really fun and caring man. here lately though he has done nothing but play video games from the time i get to his house until about 3 in the morning. The only time i get his attention is when he wants to have sex, then right after he goes back to his games. It’s super annoying because he’s on his headset screaming at the game and talking to his friends, so not only do i have to listen to the sound of him shooting at virtual zombies i have to listen to him yelling at the game too. We don’t go on dates anymore. I don’t feel loved at all. Every time i ask to go somewhere he doesn’t want to go or he has no money. I have confronted him about it a few times, but he says I’m too needy of his attention and lashes out, it ends up in nothing but negative emotions when i try talking to him, so i have tried to stay quiet, but i want more time too. There’s been times where i have thought about leaving, but i have already invested so much into him and we work together so i don’t want to make things awkward, but I’m at a loss. I feel
like i should be a priority and when I’m around his attention should mostly be about me. I don’t know what to do without starting a fight. Can someone tell me what they would do in this situation??
From what you writ he is taking you for granted. In one sense you are providing him with the milk and he is doing nothing to care for the heifer. You many not have heard this term but it is a truism very popular during your grandparents time. Yes I'm that old.
As I see it you have two choices. You can stay home and wait until he calls you. If his call is strictly a booty call you can tell him your tired or something else but turn him down. Keep turning him down until he gets the message.
Plan B so to speak is to sit him down and explain the facts of life to him. Tell him you feel he is taking you for granted. He has to stop taking you for granted and use you just for booty calls. Tell him you understand the need to relax after work but either he makes time for you or you will find someone who will have time for you and actually do things other than sex.
He says your needy that should tell you what he believes a relationship is all about. Plan "B" is basically the 2x4 that some guys need to be hit over the head with to understand there is more to a relationship then sex.
I don't know you though from your writing I can tell you deserve better then him. Don't be afraid to walk from him. At work if you have to interact with him make sure you are cordial and do not raise your voice to him. Make sure there e are others around should he try to start a fight or if he tries to physically harm you or grab you.
As far as telling him you done with him you do not have to do so in person. You can send him and email or text.
I'm 23 and just went to the dentist today for the first time since I was 14. Of course the dentist found about 8 cavities in various stages. I do brush my teeth twice a day and regularly whiten them so he didn't find much plaque and there's only two serious cavities, but I still need to take care of them all. Some of them are the same cavities I had when I was 14 that my dad never got taken care when I was a child and that really makes me feel sick.
I know there are people who never had the money or good fortune to go to the dentist so I'm lucky that he took me at all. However, I'm still feeling very frustrated because he did have the money, he always just wasted it on other stupid things and now I'm paying for it with my health and having to take on a second job to be able to afford this...all while in school.
On top of that he had the nerve to tell me that I need to get braces...well of course now that I'm an adult insurance is less willing to pay for a portion of braces. I feel like it takes a lot of guts to tell me that I need to get braces now. Why didn't he get them for me as a kid so I wouldn't have to be dealing with this as an adult? I think it was rude of him to even say something, because my teeth aren't that crooked at all. Nobody else in my whole life has ever told me I need to get braces and I even have a best friend who's a dental assistant (she's actually the one who stressed to me that I really needed see a dentist for the two big cavities I have).
Anyways, my father is really making it seem like it's my fault and telling me I need to make sure that I keep going to the dentist and need to shop around for prices for invisalign. I have half a mind to tell him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. He knows how hard I already work just to keep myself in college because that was yet another thing neither of my parents ever saved for. He really has some nerve acting like I'm not doing my best while paying for my own car, insurance, college tuition, rent, groceries, etc.
Is there a polite way I can tell him that this was kind of his fault and that this wasn't due to me not taking care of my teeth, but regular occurrences that happen when a parent doesn't bring their child to a dentist? There were only one or two of these cavities that developed since I was 18 so it's not all my fault.
I already have really bad anxiety about my appearance and always wanting to look pretty because I always feel ugly, now that he said that to me I feel even worse and I'm going to be obsessed with my teeth now. I already spent half an hour tonight brushing my teeth with $20 prescription toothpaste and then spent another hour doing whitening. Now I keep wondering if everybody has always thought I had gross teeth and just never told me. When he said that to me I started crying and wanted to jump out a window.
I know you think it will feel better to tell you father off and how it is his fault that he could not afford to take you to a dentist and it is. But take my word for it as I did have the opportunity, knowing full well, that when I did my father would never speak to me again and frankly I was fine with that. I got everything that was bottled up in me since childhood off my chest and down on papers and sent it to him. Unfortunately I am bless or cursed with a photographic memory I forget almost nothing.
Fact is it didn't change anything and telling your father off won't change anything for you either. Yes your parents neglected a very important part of your health and unfortunately dental health insurance rarely pays more than $1,500 a year with high co-pays for anything more than a routine filling.
There are ways you can get you teeth taken care of without causing you to go into debt. Look and see if there is a dental school in your area. Dental schools do the same work as a dentist and the students are supervised by licensed Dentists. Their charges for the work they do are about half of what a licensed dentist charge in a Dental Office and the work is equal to or superior because these student, generally seniors need to perform above and beyond to graduate.
One thing I advise against is taking a credit card called Care Credit. It offers six months no interest financing which looks great. At the end of the six months the interest the charge is 21% on the unpaid balance. IT is great for someone like me who can afford to pay a bill in full so what I do is use this card, divide the charge by six and have my bank make 6 payments rather than take money from saving. If you can't do this then the card is not something you want.
I am an 18 year old girl. I am engaged but when I saw my ex I realized I still have feelings for him. I am getting married in 6 months. I don't have any clue. I told my fiancée but he doesn't understand and he wants me to explain. But I cannot for the life of me figure it out myself. Help. Please.
I cannot tell you why you still have feelings for your ex. What I can tell you is this.
Because you have feelings for your ex and don't know why you do you should not get married. You postpone the wedding figure out who you want; the man your engaged to or your ex.
Your young, 18, which is very, very young to get married. Statistically people your age that marry the marriage does not last past the five year mark and about 25% divorce/separate within the first year. You should continue to date different men and find a true love. One you have much in common with.
You should go to college and better prepare yourself for the adult world even if it is a community college. Prepare yourself for a career so you have a measure of independence and not solely reliant on a spouse for support.
The social life at college is a great a maturing atmosphere that also helps you grow and find yourself and what you want form life. High school does not prepare you for life as and adult college does.
I don't know why you are in a hurry to marry at 18. I don't have to know you to tell you no matter how much you think you may love this man. At some point you will regret not having enjoyed some form of freedom that becoming an adult gives you. Be it college or finding a job you need to experience life after high school. You need to date, travel and have fun before you settle down with a husband.
My advice is to postpone the wedding indefinitely. Maybe you feel you are not prepared for college. Fine, two years at a community college will prepare you for the last two at a four year institution and it is more affordable. There is student aid and grants available at a community college that with the help of the finance department you can apply for.
A community college can also prepare you for many career fields. The medical field is one that pays very well. Nursing is one and there is a great shortage of nurses. You can also train to be an x=ray tech, paramedic and lab tech. Computer science is also available. Cooking class for professional chefs is a course many Community colleges offer. Go to your local community college and talk to them.
Most importantly I feel you questioning of your feelings is telling you to experience life before you settle down to a life with a husband and children you have time to do so.
Awhile back I went out with my friend's boyfriend behind her back. I know I shouldn't of, but he was clearly more into me than her and he said he wanted to break up with her anyway, so I gave in to temptation.
When my friend found out she physically attacked me when she saw me next at school. I fought back out of self-defense. The principal called the cops and I was the one arrested because my friend and 2 friends of hers who were there when it all went down lied and said I'd started it.
We ended up going to court and neither her and her friends nor me changed our stories. On Friday, I was found guilty. I'd never been in trouble with the law before, but because the judge thought I lacked remorse and needed to learn a lesson, he sentenced me to a month in juvenile hall.
I've been given the weekend to get my affairs in order. I have to turn myself in on Monday to begin serving my sentence.
Ever since yesterday, I've been asking myself if I really do deserve this even if I didn't start the fight for going behind my friend's back. Do I? Am I crazy for thinking this?
I don't know if I'll see any answers to this question before Monday, but I definitely will read them once I'm out.
No you do not deserve going to jail just for dating her boyfriend. IF you read this before you report to juvenile hall ask you parents to hire a lawyer and have a private detective investigate. I'm sure there are others in school who know the true story and it will get around on social media.
Let it be known she is being investigated for false accusation and perjury. One is a civil accusation you can fore her parents to pay a penalty for the other is a crime that can send her to Juvenile hall. Both she and her two friends are subject to the perjury charge if her friends testified at trial.
What you want is to get any of the three to recant their testimony. Then you can ask to have your record expunged and sue all three and the state for false arrest and imprisonment.
If you are truly innocent in this you need to do this even though juvenile records are supposedly sealed the time in juvenile hall will haunt you for the rest of your life. You can be denied security clearances or professional licenses.
If for some reason your parent cannot afford and attorney you can ask a legal aid attorney to help you but you should do this and it should start immediately.
So this is a kinda weird question to ask. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship right now, but I'm afraid that once we meet and have sex, I'll get really embarrassed and nervous. Mostly, I'm anxious about how I'll look when I orgasm. Whenever I do, I can't help but... kind of twitch, I guess. My muscles spasm randomly and I jerk around a little. Usually my head goes forward, it's like I'm curling up around my tummy. I feel self-conscious about this. My boyfriend is so sweet and gentle, he always is really sweet when I feel insecure and calms me down when I feel anxious and start panicking. But I'm worried what he'll think. Mostly I'm worried about how nervous I'll be because I'm worried about that.
The fact that he can bring you to orgasm is something he should find very pleasing. I would not find the way you orgasm upsetting or displeasing and I don't think he will either. What it means to me is I was able to bring you to a major orgasm and not one of those mini ones.
My wife orgasms somewhat as you do. When we were dating I thought she was faking a no other women I had been with did anything more than maybe scream and claw at me or the bed sheets. Then she explained to me that she is very orgasmic especially vaginally.
Meaning if I played with her clit I might get her to orgasm but it would not be the same. But if I fingered her or we had intercourse her orgasms are stronger and this is how her body reacts when she has a major orgasm.
Suggestion: As long as this is how you orgasm relax and enjoy the sexual pleasure of the orgasm. Talk with your boyfriend before you have sex and tell him that this is how you orgasm if he brings you to a major climax. Once you tell him he has a goal to reach to give you that orgasm that makes your body react as it does. Then he will be proud that he is able to do so.
Just know that this is how you are and it is nothing to be embarrassed about.
I'm currently a junior in high school. Back during the summer, I got into trouble after my parents found out I'd been to a party where there was drinking and that I'd been over at my boyfriend's house while his parents weren't home on several occasions (neither of which is allowed). How did they react? They're making me wear an ankle monitor.
Seriously, they searched online and found a company that leases them. So now they can track me 24 hours a day, every day. They've even programmed it so they'll receive alerts if I'm late getting to school, if I try to leave school early, or if I try to leave the house after curfew.
I know I violated their trust, but this seems crazy to me. One of my friends told me I should count my blessings cause she would've been grounded forever. At least I can still go out, they just always know where I'm at is all.
What do you think? Is this punishment over the top? If it is, what can I do to convince my parents to remove the monitor? It's been 4 months already.
Thank you fro being forthright on some of the things you have done to lose your parents trust. The thing with trust is it is hard to gain and easy to lose and you have lost your parents trust.
Is the ankle monitor over the top, I really can't say for I don't know you or your parents. I will say this it is unique and as your friend has said it is better than being grounded at least you can go out as long as you go where you say your going.
Let me say this as a parent myself. We have great many fears when it comes to our children. We give you a laundry list of do's and don'ts that we hope will keep you safe when you are not in visual range of us. We could be helicopter parents and hover over you 24/7 which is very wrong for you need to grow and expand your social skills as well as you awareness of your safety and surroundings you cannot do this if we are hovering over you. So we put our trust in you that you will abide by hopefully all of are rules, we expect that our children will push the envelope and when they do we all have different ways of reining them back.
IF you were my daughter and broke those rules you would have been grounded for months and I would have made you break up with that boyfriend for the rules you broke are quite serious.
That being said you need to gain you parents trust again. This is going to be hard for as I said gain trust is hard to do. You start by asking to have a family meeting with your parents. You must remain calm and be ready to accept whatever they decide at the end of the meeting for it is your behavior at the end of the meeting your parents will talk about after you leave the room and could cause them to change their minds and lift some restrictions. In other words you must act like the young adult you are.
IF you have not yet apologized for braking those rules then that is how you start. Understand being alone with your boyfriend is our biggest fear we have that you may not be able to stop any sex play and end up pregnant.
Acknowledge this to your parents that you understand this. Now I can't speak for your parents but we were all young and we know young adults are sexually aware and do want experiment. For my son I told him to keep it in his pants and come home an masturbate. I didn't have a daughter but I do have two nieces without a father. For them I said make sure you never take you pants off. When you get home you can masturbate.
How you want to handle this you decide because I don't know your parents. When I was your age my girlfriends generally stated their limits. I'm sure you have your limits as well and I see no reason at this point why if you think you should you should tell them.
The more open you are with your parents and the more respect you show them the faster I believe they will regain their trust in you and remove the monitor.
Im currently a freshman, enrolled at a 2 year university college campus. I havent paid for anything out of pocket, it was covered by financial aid. I thought i was going to go into music, but realized its not my priority anymore and had an existential crisis where i broke down crying because i dont know what i want to do anymore, and im having a hard time with school. Not that its hard, im just not motivated. I attend class, but dont do the work. Im 18 and just moved out of my parents' house. Im only able to work 20 hours a week (housekeeping is during the day) and need to get another job, but that'll leave me with even less time/motivation for school work. Im seriously considering dropping at semester. I know its hard to go back when you leave. I know it makes it hard to get a good job, but what does that matter if i dont know what carreer I want? Im feeling like i need to just work and make time for life while Im young, because no one really gets that chance until theyre too old to enjoy the nitty gritty of the adventures. I want to work, and save, and travel, and just really live instead of stressing over the amount of money im wasting and things im relearning over for the third or so time. I just dont feel like it's for me... someone please help, i really need some advice. Im so confused about my life right now.
Two things first. You should update your age as we show you as being 13. The other is you are not alone there are many others your age that feel the same way for a variety of reasons. A couple of the biggest reasons; I thought I knew what I wanted and now I don't & I really need to take a break from school.
Sometimes taking a year off is a good thing. You have been hard at it for 12 years and you just are not ready for college. There is nothing wrong with that. As for returning to college there are many ways of doing so today that were not available just a few years a go. In a sense you can have your cake and eat it to.
My Daughter in-law is a good example of what I mean. she is working full time at a job she trained for in college and now wants her masters degree. She cannot afford the time to go back to school full time or even part-time. She is taking classes on-line. It will take her longer but she is working at a pace that she can handle without being over loaded and as she says to me. I attend class in my jammies and bunny slippers.
You can go and find a full time job. Work at the jib for a while; lets say a year. Then look at the on-line schools and find one that offers a course in what ever field you wish to study. What is nice about some of the on-line schools is that many offer the same degree as a brick and mortar school but only requiring the core courses for the degree. This saves you even more money as you are not taking courses you do not need to work in your career field. Many of these on-line schools are a work at your own pace type of instruction.
It will take longer to get your degree this way but it is a lot easier to get motivated for one or two classes at a time then a semester filled with 60 to 80 credit hours.
I should be advising you to stay in school but I feel that would be wrong based on what you have written. If you can't motivate yourself then your wasting money. If the problem is your a way from home for the first time and mom was your motivator in primary school then that is a whole different problem you need to work out for yourself.
One thing you should do considering you feel lost without direction is to go to the counseling center and ask to be tested for what career choice(s) you are best suited for. This will help you decide which classes to take.
I only have a birth certificate. What do I need to have to get replacements?
The social security card is the easiest to replace though I would advise you to call Social Security and advise them you lost your card. They may want to issue you a new number if so you would then have to go to your local social security office and complete some paperwork and bring an original copy of your Birth Certificate. One that has the raised seal on it
You can contact Social security by calling 1-800-772-1213, you can use the automated telephone services to get recorded information and conduct some business 24 hours a day. If you cannot handle your business through the automated services, you can speak to a Social Security representative between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. Monday through Friday. Generally, you’ll have a shorter wait time if you call during the week after Tuesday. If you are deaf or hard of hearing, call our toll-free TTY number, 1-800-325-0778, between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. Monday through Friday.
For your drivers license I suggest you call your local DMV office and ask what you need to do. When my wife's purse was stolen we needed to bring several different forms of identification including Utility bills and then they still used their computer to find the Drivers photo they had of her. Why we need all the other stuff when they used her ID photo anyway is beyond me bit that is what they asked for so that is what we did.
My best advice to you is to call each place first and then do as they instruct.
For the longest time my dad has been verbally abusive to me telling me things like shut the fuck up i have no brain stop being useless among other things i thought that after my brother’s death he would change but he hasn’t living with him is tough i feel like i’m walking on egg shells he makes me cry makes me feel like i’m not good enough will never be he makes me want to give up and not do things have a why bother what’s the sense attitude when i’m around him with other people he acts nice but that’s not what happens behind closed doors he’s a totally different person his way of thinking is he wants to hurt me so i will learn a lesson and i won’t forget if i don’t do something around the house he’ll flip out or if he has to tell me to do something he’ll get aggravated he has no patience he criticizes everything i do calling it constructive criticism even criticizes my appearance how i look
I don’t know what to do anymore my only escape away from him is work moving out isn’t a option since i have nowhere to go and none of my family lives in the same state i do traveling is easier said then done
It would be a lot easier to answer your question if I knew why a twenty-seven year old woman was still living at home with her parent. I do understand it is hard for a young person to get established in a career and make enough money to live on their own, pay off college expenses and have the things necessary to actually get to work.
You also say that, "For the longest time my dad has been verbally abusive to me." What you don't say is how long this behavior has gone on. Has he always treated you this way or is this a change in his behavior?. If it is a change in his behavior how long has it been going on and has it been getting progressively worse.
This last question may sound a bit odd but it is important to know. For an adult especially and older adult to suddenly manifest a change in behavior it is possible the change in behavior is symptomatic of an undiagnosed medical problem. I'm not a doctor but a sudden and prolong change in behavior that deepens in anyone is something that need to be checked out by a doctor.
You writing is very much something I could have written about my father with one exception that is how he was with me for his entire life. Later in life I learned he suffered from depression but refused to accept that fact and of course refused to seek treatment.
For my own sanity after high school I joined the Air Force. Shortly after discharge I met my wife and put as much space between my father and me as I could.
I'm not suggesting you join the military but there are ways you can move out without costing you a lot of money. You can look for someone looking to share an apartment or you can look for someone looking to rent a room, hopefully with kitchen privileges other wise it is less expensive to go the roommate route.
OF course if you are your fathers care taker then that is a problem. If this is so there are community and governmental organizations that can help you. I do have one suggestion I hope you will try.
If you have health insurance through work you most likely have and EAP program which is "Employee Assistance Program." "It is entirely separate from your employer and designed to help you with many of the problems and employee may face away from work. Someone in the office, most likely in Human Resources is the EAP coordinator. Ask for the number of the EAP contact and call asking to be put in touch with a licensed social Worker.
Seeing a Social worker has a two fold benefit. First with talk therapy you have the one on one sounding board we cannot provide and which you need to better deal with this problem. Second as a social worker he or she can help you find the social programs for your father to relieve you of any care taking responsibilities you have.
Hi 18/F
I want to move out of my mom's house asap. She keeps calling me names and making life unbearable for me. I hate going home. I don't have a job yet but I'm really almost there. I considered staying 5 more months but I can't take it anymore. My bf said i can move in with him but we've only been togheter for 2 monthes and my mom would flip because "what's the family and town going to say". I'm to scared to talk to her because she'll fiscally harm me. Please help?
Here is where you stand. You are 18 a legal adult. Your mom can call you all the names she wants but the moment she raises a hand to you she has committed a crime. As an adult you mother no longer can use physical punishment, to keep you in line. She can not smack you, grab you or spank you. If she were to do so you would have the right to call the police and have her arrested. Then you could have a protection order against her which would cause her to stay out of her home for a year while you continue to reside there.
Those are your legal remedies should she do you physical harm. I advise you to remind her that in the eyes of the law you are an adult and if she harms you in any physical manner you can have her arrested. Whether you do so is up to you. Telling her that you can and will may keep her hands to herself.
If you want to move in with your boyfriend do it. If moving in with him is safer for you. Then do it and do not worry what other relatives might think. Just tell them flat out it wasn't safe for you to live any longer with your mother. Let them decide who to believe.
I'm 16 and taking medication for anxiety. While the drug I'm on is definitely helping, it's totally killed my ability to get an erection. I'm sure it's the drug as impotence is listed as one of the possible side effects.
I told my girlfriend about my situation. We'd been talking about having sex before I started taking it, so I felt I had to tell her. I was worried she wouldn't take it well, but the truth is she seemed turned on by the news. And since then she's let me go farther in our makeout sessions than ever before and seems to enjoy them a lot more.
Maybe this is all in my head, but maybe it isn't. If it isn't, why would someone be turned on by having an impotent boyfriend? I'm really confused and trying to figure this one out.
Maybe your reading this wrong. Maybe it is not that she is turned on by the fact your impotent but she feels more comfortable now with you knowing that intercourse can't happen. Now she can relax and enjoy your make out sessions.
I don't know how old your girlfriend is but one thing that is at the front of every girls mind is;If I let him go all the way will I get pregnant. Girls constantly fight with themselves as to how far to let a boyfriend go and if she says no to intercourse will he leave her. Your impotence takes that problem out of the equation.
Now as for you problem. Being 16 you are a federal law called HIPPA. A clause in this law allows young people 14 and older to seek out doctors for help with problems of their reproductive system without parental knowledge or authorization. Meaning you can make an appointment to see the doctor, speak with the doctor about the problem and ask if there is an Erectile dysfunction drug he can prescribe to counteract the effect the other drug is having with your ability to get an maintain an erection.
Your parents cannot be in the exam room with you any time your reproductive system is being examined or you have questions for the doctor about that part of your body. All you need to say to the doctor is; "I need HYPA privacy for this visit. You r parent can never be told or se the records of those visits.If there is a drug the doctor can safely prescribe then the doctor must dos and the pharmacy must fill it.
The same hold true for your girl friend. She can see her family doctor, GYN or Women's clinic without parental approval and request birth control medication. Her parents like your can never know of any visit she has where she has a women's type exam and her mom cannot be in the exam room with her. When she has these type of physical exams and mom can never know the results either. TO see your records you need to give the doctor written permission.
Now assuming you get ED medication and she gets birth control you still need to use a condom even if you are both virgins. Not only do condoms increase the chances of preventing a pregnancy to almost 100% but they are very effective in preventing many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus from being transmitted. So even if you are both virgins you should get in the habit of condom usage for sex until you are both in a long term relationship. Which for you would be at least 6 years away after college.
I work in healthcare managing patient reports so I see a lot of diagnosis. Lately I've been wondering if I should be checked for lupus. My reasoning is that my Aunt has lupus, but when I looked it up it said it's not really genetic, but does show signs of running in families.
I was looking at the symptoms and feel like I have a lot of them.
The first one is fatigue, I'm always super tired and can't explain why. I can sleep for 10+ hours and still be exhausted and want to go back to sleep. I frequently take naps half way through the day. I usually just figure it's because I work a lot and go to school too so I'm more stressed than usual.
Joint pain, stiffness,and swelling: Sometimes my knees hurt so badly I can't walk. I've had x-rays done for this before and they came back normal so I just gave up on figuring out why and chalked it up to maybe needing to exercise more. My back and neck also hurt at varying degrees, but only occasionally. Swelling isn't something I've experienced.
Raynaud's syndrome: I basically think I have this. People always tell me I feel very cold to the touch and my skin gets blue sometimes.
Chest pain/heart problems: I've had this before also at varying degrees. I was even tested for it with a month long heart monitor and it was found that I have frequent sinus tachycardia, but that considering my healthy weight and young age they didn't think much of it.
Lung Pain (pleurisy): I've had this before too, but only once and it's been about a year since then.
Sensitivity to light: I've been photosensitive my entire life and even things like overhead lights bother me and give me headaches.
Mouth sores: I get these about once a month and have had three at a time before that hurt so bad I couldn't eat.
Weight loss: I've always been very skinny under 90 pounds, but I'm also only 5ft tall. My doctors always try to focus on gaining weight, but I also don't eat as much as I really should.
The other symptoms I don't have are: a face rash, unexplained fever, hair loss, and a reduced white blood cell count (as far as I know and I've had my blood drawn twice in the last two years for hyperthyroid tests and heart tests). My aunt doesn't have a face rash so I feel like that part isn't in all cases.
I don't know whether I should bother getting tested or not. I don't want to be one of those people who works in medical and self diagnoses themselves. I also don't want to attribute some pretty general symptoms to something like Lupus.
I know I should get a medical professional's opinion, but until I find a doctor (I just moved) I was wondering what a stranger's opinion on this might be?
It is not uncommon for people in the healthcare field to be hypersensitive to what others might think are minor aches and pains. Doctors, Nurses, Paramedics and EMT's come in contact with a variety of sick people and are always concerned they have caught some variant of a disease. There are 11 symptoms of Lupus, you have some but not all. Could you be suffering some pre-lupus symptoms? That is a question for a doctor to answer.
Family doctors are not always looking for the pickle in the herring barrel. They normally just treat what the see unless we the patient give them reason to look further.
There is Lupus in your family it is not known to me a genetic disease but it has not been ruled out either. What I suggest is you schedule a full physical with your doctor and tell the doctor all of your symptoms and ask to be tested for Lupus.
Should your doctor say you don't have Lupus and the testing is unnecessary or if the test come back negative you can seek a second opinion from a doctor who does not know you.
You should also go to the following URL for more information on Lupus:
https://www.usinlupus.com/livingwithlupus/understandingyoursymptoms.html?bing=p_&rotation=71700000006672903&banner=58700000278223034&kw=4649323858&cc=B0B6D62E4D6B&pid=43700004649323858
I thought i was pretty good at faking being confident, i can walk with my head up high and i can give people eye contact and sometimes smile at strangers. However, one of my managers sensed it right away that i was insecure she also thinks im sad inside (which i was depressed for 5 years now im just lonely) and my voice is pretty monotone but thats what happens when youve been depressed for so long so whenever i talk my manager says i sound sad. Ive tried talking with enthusiasm but people always think im about to cry when i do so i just talk normally which is monotone. My neutral face is either resting b face or its a blank expression is what ive been told from people who look at me. My manager even told my sister that to boost my confidence i should start wearing makeup because that helped her boost her own confidence. So can people actually sense that somebody is insecure?
There are times people pick up on certain signals that tell them something is wrong. Your manager just happened to hit on the right one although from what you write the signals lean more to the point you are still suffering some form of depression.
Did you get professional help with your depression with talk therapy to find the root cause or did your family doctor just prescribe medication. Medication alone will not cure depression.
Everyone gets depressed from time to time. People like you and me suffer some form of depression that never goes away. For most of us we suffer clinical depression caused by a lack of one or two hormones secreted into the brain that control are emotions. Medication best prescribed by a Board Certified Psychiatrist, no we are not crazy, because they are best trained in this area than a general practice doctor. Will lift the vial of depression. TO get at the root cause of depression takes therapy, talk therapy with a social worker or psychologist.
Clinical depression is usually deep seated something you are not even aware of that you have built a wall around so as not to hurt you. what happens is a sound, smell or something triggers a release of that deep seated something which causes anxiety. Anxiety cause anger and anger cause depression which causes anxiety and the cycle repeats itself and you end up unable to climb out of the depression.
IF you have not been treated properly for your depression the you need to get proper treatment in order to overcome the manifested problem with confidence.
I'm not a doctor but I have been through a deep depression and I know what triggers my depression and what to do when it happens. This is what you learn in therapy.
iambic pentameter is this correct?
then ares spoke words of resentment and
grief this is not the end of your wicked
deed he is my son you prevent me as when
zeus chained Atlas to the depths of Tartarus and
will never let him escape my son is my
most prized possession more valuable
than immortality. Now since you restrain
me to Thasos we will go and fight until you
consent to my wish. The grey eyed goddess
replied if I must fight you I will but
if I win you powerful ARes will
fight for the Achaeans so that the troubled Achaeans will sorrow no more.
It is the general policy of most advisors not to assist with homework. That being said I will suggest this.
You may want to add punctuation marks so it reads better and format it correctly in poetic verse.
I'm not saying anything is wrong it is just my opinion. It has been many decades since High School English and fortunately I did not have poetry as part of college English.
One of the family friend called me my sisters shadow. What does that mean? He goes "I see you have your shadow with you" or "there's your shadow". Is that an insult?
Being someone's shadow is not an insult. It means you love and or admire someone so much that you follow them wherever they go. Usually it is a mother or father a child shadows. In your case you follow what I assume is an older sister you love very much. There is nothing to be insulted by an in a way is a complement to your sister.
My parents call me all the time! They sometimes call me 6-10 times a day and some of those calls last 60mins +. I am 26 yrs old and my parents are in their mid 50's. My dad has a habit of calling me and complaining about how much he hates his job and its the same conversation over and over again.
Everything he tells me is seriously toxic and wears me down. He talks about death, money, and how much his job and life sucks. I told him once to find a therapist and talk it out with them like I do.
I am having a hard time blocking him and distancing myself because I feel guilty. He puts this guilt trip on me that when he passes away I would of wished I answered more etc. things like this. I do not have many friends so I do hang out with my parents a lot more than I should.
My mom also has nothing good to say. How can I create healthy boundaries??
I live with my significant other so thankfully i do not live with them. (they are divorced for 15 yrs+)
It's tough raising parents. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and say enough is enough and I mean just that.
I had to do just that with my father shortly after my mother passed away. My relationship with my father was never great. I was the surprise child so I was blamed for all his short comings. With my mother no longer here to be the buffer between us my father finally crossed the line and I broke of all contact with him never seeing or speaking with him again.
I'm not advocating you break off all contact with your parents. I do suggest you sit down and write letter to both of them. You write a letter because you will never get to say what needs to be said in any conversation with them.
In your letter you start off by saying you love them both dearly but tell them you are 26 years old and have a life of your own. You cannot spend the day on the phone with for hours at a time. They may call you once or twice a week at a time that is convenient to you both. You tell them that you want to have happy conversations not conversations about how bad their lives suck, you know that all to well from past conversations.
Tell them they have their own lives to lead and at their age there is plenty for them to do and to make friends with. At 50 years of age they qualify as seniors and can attend the community senior center to take part in all the activities they offer that they have.
I'm in a horrible situation and need help fast. I'm 22 and he is 22, slightly younger than me. I have no one to talk to because I'm not supposed to be talking to him. I met this guy a year ago through a friend when he moved here from another state. He was staying with his friend who lived with my friend. I was also moving into an apartment at the same time. It's my first apartment and I got it all on my own. Me, jumping into adult life quickly, I let this guy stay at my apartment and then lived there and we were dating. Things got real ugly. Long story shot, I've called the cops on him 3 times, had him sent to a mental help place for saying he was going to kill himself, and he's punched a hole through my door and stolen hundreds from me, both cash from my wallet and items that were sold. He's broken 2 or 3 of his phones, smashed electronics I bought, screamed at me making me hyperventilate and lock myself in the bathroom to call the cops.
At one point, I told my parents what happened and my dad came down from another state to stay with me and change my locks because I didn't feel safe. He also pushed me into going to the police station to start the process of a restraining order against this guy.
We had a court date set. To give you an idea of how careless this guy is, he brought over flowers when he knew my dad was here staying with me after all of this. He does NOT think things through or think of consequences.
I didn't know where he was at this time. The court date was probably a week away and I was having second thoughts about a restraining order. I even went to a center for women who are abused to talk to them and get some insight on whether I should go through with it. I was torn. He was my best friend. One night when I was home alone, I started to think a lot and cry and I called him.
He was staying at a friend's apartment not far from me. I told him to just not go to the court date and I wouldn't either. I mostly just felt that he was my best friend and I couldn't do it. I was so close to him. We related a lot. Soon after, the restraining order case was dropped, and the lease was ending at the apartment he was staying at.
I, unfortunately, allowed him in. I told him it was temporary, and that I didn't want to date. But I couldn't let him live on the street or at a shelter. But, he sleeps with me and we act like a couple in secret.
Now, he's gone through MANY jobs and can't keep one. Constantly asks for money and things that I believe he'll pay me back for. He smokes marijuana outside of my apartment (I do NOT smoke). He does not pay rent. I have to watch what I say. I can't bring any friends over. I can't talk to anyone about it. I measure how mad he is by how hard he slams the door. I am CONSTANTLY STRESSED. I work so much and he just stays here.
Out of fear, I can't say too much how I don't want to be kissing him or talking sweet to him because he gets extremely upset and cries and will scream. So I live, just, carefully and it's the same stuff every day.
I'm so sorry this is long. I really, really need help. I am SO stuck.
My dad is moving down here and he cannot be here. But he has no where to go. So I told him a month ago he needed to be out. It's now that time and only now he is messaging people for somewhere to live and no one is answering. Do I just stand my ground and say he needs to be out by tomorrow night regardless? He's saying he'll live in his car, but he doesn't realize what that all entails. His parents won't even take him back. No friends. I can't do this anymore. I want to be free. What would you do?
He is 22 it is time for him to put on his big boy pants and be an adult. By forcing him out you are performing an act of tough love which from what you have written is what he needs. By Housing him,feeding him and everything else you may do for him you are enabling him to never stand on his own two feet.
He may need professional help to find himself and become an adult. With an enabler doing for him he has not hit the low he needs to hit to be motivated to help himself. HE needs to hit bottom before he will seek proper help and you must allow that to happen or he never will.
From what you have written you are in a very toxic relationship. You need to stand your ground and have him leave your apartment. You also have to make sure he never is able to return
Now every state has different laws regarding matters like this. Basically given the time he has lived there he can voluntarily move out but if you want him out he needs to be evicted as your home is also his home even though he does not pay rent. He lives with you, he sleeps with you and he receives his mail at your apartment. Your home is his home therefore he needs to be legally evicted,
You need to do two things to make his removal permanent. First file again for the restraining order. Second see the clerk of the Court at District Court and file for eviction of him. Once evicted he can no longer claim resident status. Then you can change the locks again.
how long are you passed out for if you choke yourself
That is not a question fro which there is a set answer. It depends on how long you deprive yourself of oxygen.
You question brings up questions.
Why would you want to coke yourself?
How would you do so.=?
If you did so using mechanical means are your aware you might never come too again?
My advise is for what ever reasons you might want to do this Don't it is too risky.