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I have feelings for my ex still
I am an 18 year old girl. I am engaged but when I saw my ex I realized I still have feelings for him. I am getting married in 6 months. I don't have any clue. I told my fiancée but he doesn't understand and he wants me to explain. But I cannot for the life of me figure it out myself. Help. Please.
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Postpone the wedding and figure out your feelings.
Only you know yourself. We can't tell you why or how you feel this way. You need to do this yourself and it's not fair to your fiance to marry him when you're thinking about someone else.
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Once again, I must whole-heartedly agree with all adviceman said.
I married at age 20 and that was too young. I may have been mature as you probably are but thats not enough. I did not have enough relationship and people knowledge to understand what I was really getting into. Yeah, my marriage lasted longer than the 5 years, 30 but the marriage was over long before we hit 5 years and I stubbornly stayed on until I finally wised up after the stress and abuse took its toll on my health.
I am not saying either guy would be a bad choice but if you are not sure, you won't be able to mentally be there for your husband because you're thinking of someone else.
When you have loved someone and romance and sex was involved for the female, she mentally ends up feeling ties to the guy. ITs not something you can see. IT doesnt matter if he left you or you left him, these invisible ties, ties your souls and until you are ready to mentally see yourself cutting the rope that ties you to him, you will always have this trouble. I was counseled when I was leaving my husband to do this and I did. It truly did make a difference. Even though my guy was abusive, and I clearly had good reason to leave him, I still would have hung in there unless the cord tying me to him no longer exists. It may seem silly that something you can't see would have such a strong effect, but what have you got to lose by trying it. You also need to tell your subconscious mind to remind you every time you do think of him. If you know for whatever reasons that it is over between you and the ex and its only the feelings, remind yourself of this each time he comes to mind and keep telling yourself why its over and tell yourself to stop thinking of him as a lover or bf. He has been demoted to only being an acquaintence, some one you know but not someone you have a close relationship with. If your fiancee is the right guy, he'll still want to marry you in the future. But it may be best to wait until you've had a chance to live some of your life as an adult and mature more before you marry. Hope this all helps
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I cannot tell you why you still have feelings for your ex. What I can tell you is this.
Because you have feelings for your ex and don't know why you do you should not get married. You postpone the wedding figure out who you want; the man your engaged to or your ex.
Your young, 18, which is very, very young to get married. Statistically people your age that marry the marriage does not last past the five year mark and about 25% divorce/separate within the first year. You should continue to date different men and find a true love. One you have much in common with.
You should go to college and better prepare yourself for the adult world even if it is a community college. Prepare yourself for a career so you have a measure of independence and not solely reliant on a spouse for support.
The social life at college is a great a maturing atmosphere that also helps you grow and find yourself and what you want form life. High school does not prepare you for life as and adult college does.
I don't know why you are in a hurry to marry at 18. I don't have to know you to tell you no matter how much you think you may love this man. At some point you will regret not having enjoyed some form of freedom that becoming an adult gives you. Be it college or finding a job you need to experience life after high school. You need to date, travel and have fun before you settle down with a husband.
My advice is to postpone the wedding indefinitely. Maybe you feel you are not prepared for college. Fine, two years at a community college will prepare you for the last two at a four year institution and it is more affordable. There is student aid and grants available at a community college that with the help of the finance department you can apply for.
A community college can also prepare you for many career fields. The medical field is one that pays very well. Nursing is one and there is a great shortage of nurses. You can also train to be an x=ray tech, paramedic and lab tech. Computer science is also available. Cooking class for professional chefs is a course many Community colleges offer. Go to your local community college and talk to them.
Most importantly I feel you questioning of your feelings is telling you to experience life before you settle down to a life with a husband and children you have time to do so.
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