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Should I tell him I hurt myself?
Me and this guy have been talking and hanging out fora few months months. I've told him about my depression and he's been really understanding and supportive, but I was wondering if I should tell him about me hurting myself. Would it be a good/bad idea? Should I trust telling him that? What if he reacts in a bad way?
(I am taking mood stabilizers and antidepressants PLUS going to therapy. I don't need any advice or help on dealing with self harm, but I appreciate the concern.)
Thanks.
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If it's in the past, I'd leave it there.
If not, he should need to find out eventually. Mostly because not everyone will want to date someone who currently harms themselves. It would be better to find out sooner or later.
But I would wait until you guys are beginning to get a little more serious. If you guys have just been talking and hanging out, I would wait.
I also agree with the other columnist. I would talk to your therapist. See what their opinion on this would be.
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Having been in therapy myself for a deep depression my advice is this. First discus it with your therapist and see whet he or she thinks. IF your therapist thinks that you should be open with your boyfriend and divulge everything and that you are ready to handle any possible rejection from him.
Then I suggest you ask your therapist if you can bring your boyfriend to a session where you divulge this two him. Your therapist is there to support you and to answer any questions you boyfriend may have.
I did this with my wife on something my therapist dug out of me. While it had nothing to do with her it was something she should know and we decided the best place to tell her was in a therapy session. Then my wife decided to come to a session to tell me my son and my future daughter in-law have decided they would not be having children. Since I was so looking forward to being a grandfather my wife thought the news might upset me and set me back. Fact is I had already figured out they were not planning on having children as anytime I asked they skirted the issue.
So first talk to your therapist about whether or no your ready to divulge this in formation.
Second ask your therapist what he or she thinks about bringing your boyfriend to a therapy session to tell him.
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If its hurting self in the past, it's not necessary. If its on going and you currently do it, it might be nice to him to eventually know, especially if you guys get closer and it looks like it might be a long term relationship. I can't tell you how he'd react if he found out by accident. Everyone is different, so he may shrug and say, Its okay, I understand or he could start to wonder what else you've kept secret from him and start to wonder if he can trust you. I just don't know. You know him best. You will need to decide whether to tell him.
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