When you get your ears pierced, they use a special kind of earring. If they use a gun to pierce them (instead of a needle, like piercing parlours do), the earring has to have a pointed post. It also has to be thicker than most earring posts, because you have to hold the hole open.

It sucks to not be able to choose your own earrings for the first little while, but it's worth it for the results!

Blister pack gum is any gum that comes in a plastic tray like this:

http://www.foodprocessing-technology.com/projects/cadbury-schweppes-factory-skarbimierz/images/3-pellet-gum.jpg

You can get lots of different brands like this: Dentyne, Trident and Juicy Fruit are three that spring to mind.

When is the last time your dosage was modified? Your body will get used to a low dosage after some time, and may require more to get the same effect.

I know that when my medication is up for a tweak, the first things I notice are that my sleep cycle is out of whack and that I have trouble doing things. This may be a matter to take to your doctor.

In the meantime, try keeping yourself on a strict schedule. If you have certain things you need to get done, schedule time for them and don't allow yourself to do anything but that. Be specific. Instead of "Clean my room" write out a list of tasks you need to do in that room and check them off as they're completed. That way you're not doing one big project, you're doing a bunch of smaller ones that only take 5 minutes.

Also try rewarding yourself. Get 5 thank yous done, watch TV for a half hour. Get all of them done, go out to a movie. A method I used to get through massive amounts of math problems was to get something tasty like chocolate covered raisins, and have one after every problem I completed. If you can't pull motivation out of nowhere, you need to make your own.

Good luck!

You're not alone. Lots of guys wear makeup these days, believe it or not. Heck, my 6'3" 250 lb husband has bought foundation for a formal event we were going to (he had terrible razor burn).

It all depends on where you are and where you shop. If you're in a large urban centre, they probably wouldn't bat an eye. In a small town drug store, the reaction might be a little more like what you describe.

In any case, next time this happens to you have a reply ready. You don't have to be snarky, just let them know that you try to look your best. Also, I personally would have walked out of that store and reported the employee behaviour to their manager. Really not acceptable, and they shouldn't get your money.

If you're concerned about your brother's avatar, then we should really worry about all the guys who play under avatars that look like attractive, scantily-clad, large-breasted women!

Avatars are a way to be someone different, to try on different personas. My avatars never look like me in the slightest. My husband's avatars never look like him.

As for being treated differently because of your avatar's appearance, that definitely does happen. How many people on WOW have been given special treatment for playing as a woman?

By pressuring him and putting a political twist on all of this, you're going to make him feel guilty about something that is normal and harmless (hence the crying). As long as he knows that his skin colour is just fine the way it is, and that there is no reason for him to think of himself any differently because of it, he'll be fine. You just wait... in 5 years, he'll be right up there with the rest of the guys, playing as an impossibly large-breasted woman :)

I agree entirely with Adviceman in that you two should both be tested. It's just good practice.

Part of my answer depends on whether or not his encounters with men were taking place while you two were dating. If so, then you would have some serious thinking to do about whether or not past cheating is a dealbreaker for you. You may find that you have trouble trusting him if this is the case. Whether you were to stay with him or not would be up to you.

If he stopped seeing men while dating you, and has been entirely faithful, you still have a decision to make. Yes, he did keep a very important piece of information from you until after marriage. It may not affect your future together, though.

There's this notion that people seem to have that bisexual people can't be satisfied with one partner. I can tell you from my own experience that that is entirely false. Being bisexual isn't about polyamory, it's about having a wider scope of options when you're looking for a partner. Once you've found that partner, monogamous people don't have problems with monogamy. So it is entirely possible for your husband to be happy with just you forever.

If your husband has intentions of continuing relations with others and you're not okay with that, you may need to consider leaving him. Both partners have to be on the same page. But if you are on the same page, remember that he's still the same guy you love and married. This new information doesn't have to change your view of him. Have a good talk with him about both of your expectations in your relationship, and move on from there.

Right now, your options are going to be limited. You don't want to take on more work while still in school, because getting through school is the most important thing.

I would not suggest stopping paying bills for your mom: if you're an adult living at home, you should be contributing somewhat to the household expenses.

This is a rather location-dependent suggestion, but if you're spending $255 monthly on bills at home, plus $80-$120 on transportation, it may be less expensive and less time consuming for you to move out of your mother's house. I'm in Hamilton, and the average room in a student house will run you about $300-$450. If that's not your cup of tea, you could try finding a roommate online to share a smaller apartment. Another option is to discuss the possibility of moving in with your boyfriend. It's not like your relationship is new and fragile at 6 years. Depending on what his living situation is, it could save you both money.

You are absolutely correct in refusing to lower your savings. It's a great idea to have savings in place in case something happens and you lose your job or are out of work. Really, I don't think you should be feeling at all bad about yourself financially! Do you realize that you're better off than most new grads? The average grad leaves school with $17000 of debt in Ontario. I have co-workers who have had to go back to school, taking on more debt, just to avoid having to start making OSAP payments because they couldn't find full-time work. Your smart thinking has kept you out of the pit. Being poor is a temporary situation for you. Even if you have trouble finding work in your field right away, you have the right money sense in place to keep you out of trouble, and that's something not a lot of people have. You don't learn smart spending by having excess amounts of money! Trust me, those skills you're learning now will carry you through life. I am so glad that I learned how to feed us both on $30 a week, because it means that bumping our budget up to $75 a week makes us feel like royalty :)

Some things that my husband and I did a lot while we were in our poor student phase: picnics, walks in the park, free events in our city (no matter how weird they sounded). If you live in a larger city, you'd be surprised at how many free or very inexpensive things are around this time of year: concerts, film festivals, street fairs, buskers. All lots of fun and easy on the wallet! We also made sure to budget for entertainment, even if it was only $20 per week for the both of us. It meant that there was always money for us to go see a movie, or we could save up for something bigger. It made sure that we weren't splurging on bigger things that we couldn't afford.

Stay strong. It's just a little longer, and you'll be out of school and able to take charge of your finances. If you keep being resourceful and responsible, you will do just fine.

My husband and I were engaged at age 19/20, so I can tell you that it does work, at least sometimes!

What we did was have a 4-year engagement. It gave us time to grow up a little more, get to know each other as adults, get over those big life changes in your early 20s, while still making a big commitment to one another. The thing about engagement vs. marriage is that marriage is a legal commitment. It's a lot harder to break, so you want to be darn sure before you do it. There's no shame in a long engagement.

Now, I know you say that his parents don't believe in living with one another before marriage, but that's a tradition I highly disagree with. The transition to marriage was easy for my husband and I because we had already been through all the arguing over chores, bills, household stuff and finances. If you've never lived with the person before, that will all come crashing down on you the moment the honeymoon period is over and it will feel a lot heavier than if it's dealt with ahead of time.

If the worry they (and you) have is you guys staying abstinent until marriage, it's totally possible to do that. I have friends who lived together for 3 years before getting married, and they waited until they were married. Living together is not about easy access to sex, it's about learning to live with the other person... because that's the commitment you're making when you get married!

Either way, I can tell you that it is very possible to know from a young age. Just don't expect it to be an easy ride when you do start living together, because it's not, no matter how long you've known the other person. It's a lot of bickering, a lot of compromise and a lot of "Eew, you clip your toenails on the couch!" But with the right person, even that stuff can be fun to navigate :)

We can't tell you if you're blinded by love. Only you can figure that one out. My suggestion would be to give it a little time. Have a longer engagement to give you the chance to really get used to the idea of being married. Think out the logical, boring stuff (where are you going to live, who's bringing what, how do you feel about kids/money/chores) before you leap into what is, essentially, a legal contract. A really awesome legal contract.

Chances are that your college has already come up with a solution for not living on campus. I know that at mine, there was an off-campus group that did the same sort of activities as the residences during our frosh week.

Otherwise, just getting involved and going to events is the way to go. Find a club that interests you, or form a study group. There were a lot of school-wide events the first month that I was at school: concerts, movies under the stars, even free yoga classes! These are all great ways to meet people with common interests.

Don't worry too much. Everyone will be in the same boat as you. As confident as some people may seem, we're all terrified of the transition to college. Heck, I'm going back this fall and I'm scared, even though I've done it all before. If you talk to someone who looks as scared as you do, you won't go wrong.

This is the most fun part of any relationship... the part where you get to find out what parts of you fit together and what parts don't!

When my husband and I were dating, he was a Baptist Christian and I have always been an atheist. One of the biggest arguments we've ever had was when he came to me and told me that he was worried about me, because when I die I'm going to hell, so he thinks I should accept religion. I didn't take it so well, and he came back to me later, saying that he's decided that that teaching is wrong, because he doesn't see how a good person can go to hell just for different beliefs.

Moral of that story is that people are fluid. Especially when you find someone who is amazing and makes you see the world in a different way. My Baptist boyfriend became my atheist husband, and that's a huge switch. It wasn't me forcing him, it was just him re-evaluating because I opened his eyes to a different way of thinking.

So yes, it is totally possible for him to change his mind about this. It's also possible that he will never change.

In that case, it's a matter of agreeing to disagree. People who are compatible don't necessarily agree on everything, even things that are central to their personal beliefs. I have always wanted to be an organ donor; my husband is totally against it because he thinks it desecrates bodies. That's a case where we've learned to work around it. He understands why I made the decision I did, but doesn't like it. Sometimes we need to accept our loved ones warts and all.

Now, if it's a topic central to your life (for example, your family were illegal immigrants) you may have some trouble. If Greg is against homosexuality, but Sally is bisexual, chances are their relationship won't last. If it isn't a huge sore spot that would come up every day, it might be best to leave it be for now.

I think that you need more than snap judgments from us. Just calling you names won't help you in any way, so here's my take on the situation.

I wouldn't call you a slut. I would call you a woman who doesn't have any respect for her body or mind. I would say that you're looking for affirmation in all the wrong places, and it's hurting you. You put yourself in dangerous situations, you damage your body and your reputation in search of something... but you're not finding it there.

Don't bother with labelling yourself. When you start identifying as a slut, you sell yourself short. I'm sure you have value beyond what you can do sexually. Respect yourself first, then others will respect you.

I have friends who have had sex with a lot of men. They're also very careful about using proper protection each time and getting tested in between partners. They respect themselves and their partners. I wouldn't call them sluts. It's when you engage in damaging behaviours that you start risking slipping into that territory.

There's so much more to a relationship than the sex. Sex should be the icing on the cake. Ditch these 11 guys and find yourself a great guy who makes you laugh, who is smart and nice , respects you and treats you well. Get to know him, then think about taking it in a sexual direction. You'd be amazed at how much better it is.

You've been together for a while, I take it. If he's comfortable enough to pick his nose in front of you, then that sets a pretty good standard for comfort when discussing said bad habit.

I can also sympathize. My husband is a serial knuckle cracker, nail clicker, hangnail chewer and public singer/dancer/whistler. Even though you love the person, you can be put off by their habits. It's perfectly okay to tell them that. It's just a matter of approaching it the right way.

You know this isn't an attack on him. Now you just have to convince him it isn't. The tactic that has always worked for me is to sit down at some point, say "Hey, I really need to talk to you about something. I don't want to hurt you, but it really bothers me when you ____________." Make it a discussion as opposed to a sniping match. He might raise things that you do, but that doesn't change the fact that he still does gross things. If he makes a valid point, acknowledge it and promise to work on that if he promises to work on himself. If he just starts lashing out, remind him that it's not an attack on him as a person, just you talking to him about something that is causing real problems with your relationship. Would he prefer that you just walk away with no explanation one day?

From the sounds of it, he's a real catch other than these few habits. Chances are that he just got a little too comfortable. A gentle reminder that you're still the lady that he once tried so hard to impress will go a long way.

That was in Just Go With It, starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. Although he was her fake father, not to give too many spoilers.

The actress's name is "Bailee Madison". Here's a video of her doing the accent:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKaxClKOZvU

There are going to be a ton of events in the first few weeks. Go to all of them. Get involved. Faculty events, residence events, school-wide... all of them. You'll be exhausted, I can guarantee it, but you'll have a ton of fun and lots of opportunities to get out there. There will likely be a clubs fair, so you can get out there and find something that you're interested in.

Make an effort to be involved. Force yourself to talk to people. In my first year at school, I made it a rule to talk to whatever new people I sat next to in class. Made some great friends that way!

How not to do it? A lot of people compensate for their shyness by using alcohol as a social lubricant. It's true that you feel like everyone's your friend when you're drunk, but you're not actually spending quality time with those people. Your best bet for making friends is to meet them in a non-party atmosphere. It's also safer to steer clear of binge drinking situations, because you put yourself at risk.

Moving on doesn't necessarily entail jumping on the first guy you see and starting another relationship. Actually, that's one of the worst ways you could do it.

Especially if you're coming out of a long-term relationship, you're going to need some time to re-evaluate. Focus on yourself and the relationships you have going now. Think seriously about what it is that you want. Look back at your relationship with your ex and see what good and bad you can pull from it: then you'll know what you are looking for (or not looking for) in a future man.

If your ex ended things, you should still consider yourself lucky. Obviously it wasn't a good match on one end or another, and he was saving you from an even harder fall later on. I know I ended a perfectly good relationship just because I didn't see a future with him, even though he was an amazing guy. I know, it's hard to think logically about these sorts of things, but try :)

So take time for you. Explore your options. Now that you're single you can do all sorts of things that you might not have while in a committed relationship - like teach English in Japan, or travel the world for a year after graduating! Make plans for you, and later on down the line you can find someone who can be accommodated into them.

There's no such thing as "what guys like" when it comes to pubic hair. Some guys like it au naturel, some like it bare, some like it in between. Every guy's preferences are different.

If you're really concerned about what he likes, you can always ask him what his preferences are. That's the best way to find out what he's into.

In the end, though, it's up to you. Do what's most comfortable for you, and you can't go wrong. There's no point in shaving or waxing for a guy, because you're the one who has to live with it 24/7. A decent guy will just be happy to have access!

Ooh, interesting one!

1. Immigrants coming into their country illegally

Well, it's really hard to make a comparison between the conquering of a nation in the 1700s and illegally entering a country today. Different laws, different societies. It's not just white people who have conquered other races... leaders of every race have been guilty of leading movements to conquer others for thousands of years.

As for Mexicans entering America illegally, technically, it's every bit as illegal for an American to forcibly enter Canada without presenting their ID at the border. That's the problem that people have... it's the idea that people are coming into the country and getting (some of) the benefits of citizenship, like schooling for their children and the like, without any of the responsibilities that citizenship entails. It's also a slap in the face to refugees, who do make the move from a bad place to a better place legally, and legal immigrants too.

Yes, it sucks that they live in a bad country, and the best thing would be to help with the situation in Mexico. Unfortunately, the US is having some serious problems on home turf, and they really need to sort that out first. There's no helping other countries when your own citizens are suffering from terrible conditions.

2. Immigrants come and don't try to learn to speak the official language

Again, the difference between immigration today and conquering of a nation. Immigration implies that you're willingly joining a new country with the goal of being a citizen. When hordes of Europeans swarmed North America, they didn't exactly do it with the idea of peaceful unity in mind. It was all about ownership. Not saying it was a good thing, but just because it was done back then doesn't mean it should be done now... racial segregation was considered perfectly okay and legal in some states as recently as 50 years ago, right? Doesn't mean it's okay today! Unfortunately, the conquering European nations had a nasty habit of not considering the aboriginal people they encountered as human beings, let alone equals. Hopefully nobody's entering the US thinking that today.

I'm guilty of being offended when people don't learn one of the national languages when they come to Canada. Hey, if they make a reasonable effort to speak a little, or if they're brand spankin' new here, I'll give them full credit. If they speak French but not English, no biggie. I can make do, even though I don't live in Quebec. But there are areas in large urban centres where people don't speak either language. That bugs me. If our country is so fantastic that you want to live here, should you not try to make it so that you can communicate with your fellow citizens? We don't demand that you give up your culture, we just ask that you try to pick up a little of ours. Makes sense, right? So that's why people get angry when immigrants don't speak any English.

3. Immigrants don't try to join our culture, they just stick with theirs

That's a tricky one. I'm answering this one from an outsider's perspective here, so give me the benefit of the doubt. Have you ever heard of the phrase "melting pot" with regards to American culture? Since the beginning of the country, the US has valued a sort of cultural blend. The ideal is that no matter where you're from, how you were raised or whatever, you are now an American. So to see someone who totally rejects American culture, but wants the benefits of being an American is kind of annoying.

That's where I really appreciate the cultural mix here. Rather than a melting pot, Canada prides itself on being a cultural mosaic. Instead of one homogeneous blend, we're made up of tons of tiny bits of other cultures. Everyone preserves their own cultural heritage while simultaneously being a part of a bigger picture as Canadians. It's pretty cool :)

4.They choose come here, and yet complain about the country

Yeah, I don't get this complaint either. How many Americans complain about their country? How many hate their president or his policies? How many threatened to leave the country (but didn't) when Bush was re-elected? The great thing about living in a country that's free is that you have the freedom to dislike things about it. You have the right to challenge authority and make waves without fear of being repressed. It's one of those weird things where it's a fundamental American right protected by the constitution, but a lot of Americans resent it when their fellow countrymen take advantage of that. Makes no sense to me.

5. I hate race mixing. I think everyone should only mate with others with similar physical characteristics

Also absurd. I don't get why anyone shouldn't be able to marry anyone they like, so long as nobody gets hurt. People are people, no matter what colour. That goes for sexual orientation as well. I really can't fathom that people are struggling to accept gay marriage at this point in time, just like only 50 years ago they were protesting interracial marriage becoming legal. To be against anyone making a lifelong commitment to love and cherish someone else is ridiculous.

In conclusion?

We expect PEOPLE (not just immigrants) to do things that our ancestors didn't do because we've progressed as a society. Lots of things went on in the past that weren't good, but got us to where we are now. How many revolutionary inventions came from war? I live where I do because of a long chain of events. My ancestors didn't colonize Canada, they migrated here about a hundred years ago from Europe. I live here because the French and the English had the nation-conquering bug, treated some people terribly, and planted their feet. Then they fought each other continuously and brutally. Then my ancestors decided that a better life was awaiting them in Canada. Do I condone bloody civil war and mistreatment of aboriginal people? Of course not. So even though I did benefit from actions that would be inappropriate by today's standards, I have to judge the actions of others by today's standards.

I can't stand when people go hating on immigrants. It is trashy and ignorant. The problem comes when people fail to separate the problems associated with illegal immigrants from the legal ones. Jobs are taken, yes, but they're awful jobs where the workers don't get the protection of minimum wage and working standards because of their status as illegals. Especially in this climate, where many will take whatever job they can, that stings for a lot of people. As for legal immigrants, if they get a job over a born citizen it just means they're more qualified for the position. Fair game as far as I'm concerned, and nothing that anyone can grumble about. Illegal immigrants are using community resources that are taxpayer-funded, like schools, etc. There are legal immigrants who pay taxes and born Americans who don't! Thing is, being a citizen gets you the right to those services.

What it boils down to is racism. You're talking about people who are racist, and that is wrong. We pretty much established that 50+ years back. Thing is, there are always going to be intolerant bigots out there. There are people who think that women belong in the home, and that when we work we're taking away jobs from men. There are people who think that atheists are raging psychopaths who must be stopped at all costs. You name the prejudice, someone adheres to it. The only thing we can do about it is to continue to educate ourselves and future generations. Unfortunately, you can't teach out ingrained hatred. It's not based on logic or reason. The best we can hope is that our children, and their children after them learn that hate isn't okay.

As for fixing immigration issues, I sort of touched on that earlier. It would be great if every first world country could bring every other country up to speed. We just don't have the resources to help any but the worst cases, and then only when the country asks for assistance. It sounds easier than it is to fix the problems that Mexico is facing right now. Corrupt officials, poverty, drug cartel armies, those aren't easy to deal with. It's just easier for the moment to defend the border and hold on for a while.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) you're not going to get the answer you're looking for here. We are here on a mission to better human lives. That's not going to happen if we're helping you end yours. Legally and morally, we just can't help you with that.

When I came to this site years ago, I was looking for painless ways to kill myself. In fact, besides your location, your question could have been mine. I didn't want religious platitudes, I didn't want warm fuzzies, and I didn't want suicide hotlines.

What did I get? Not what I was asking for. I had several people tell me to reconsider. I was told to hold on, even if it's just for a few minutes. Most importantly, I was shown that even strangers on the internet care about me enough to give their time to stop me from making a decision from which there is no recovery. I've been here on this website ever since. I'm not saying that they fixed my life. I was still the same messed up person with the same problems. Heck, I even attempted suicide a few times after that. You never know, though, what could have happened if nobody had reached out that day. So that's why I'm reaching out now.

You're right. We don't know anything about you other than that you're hurting enough to seek assistance in some form. And that's enough.

I'm not going to give you what you want, because the funny thing about advice is that it isn't necessarily what you want to hear. I'm here to tell you that ending your life now would be to end your life on a sour note. Whatever problems you're facing would taint the last of your life. Keep living, even if it's just for an hour, a day, a week, and you are giving yourself more chances to turn things around and get enjoyment out of it. I can't advise on your specific situation. The advice I'm giving you is the advice I'd give anyone, even those who aren't suicidal right now. Give yourself another chance to get things right. And another. And another. Keep doing it until you do, because otherwise you're letting yourself down. There is nothing that can't be fixed, worked around or dealt with in some way. It might seem hopeless, but there is always a way.

It definitely sounds like it!

As time goes on, you'll figure out more and more what gets you there. Most of the time we don't orgasm from just penetration. Also, don't be fooled by your silence. Some ladies are loud, others are quiet. Just because women shriek like banshees in porn doesn't mean that you automatically should.

Boy, were you barking up the wrong tree looking at Cosmo! They're great for the "hold an ice cube in your mouth" type of advice, but they're rather vanilla.

You ask if this is a weird sexual desire. Well, it might be. But who cares? As long as everyone is happy and no laws are being broken, there should be no problem with pursuing whatever sexual activity you like. Being dominated is actually a fairly common desire, so you're not alone.

You've got to let him know what you want. This sort of conversation should not be had in the heat of the moment. This is the sort of conversation where you guys should be sitting down with a cup of coffee and no distractions and getting down to business.

You have to know what he's comfortable with. When getting into kink, I had a little trouble persuading my husband. He wouldn't hurt a fly, so he had trouble doing what he perceived as hurting me. Your boyfriend may have the same hangup. He may feel like he's disrespecting you by mistreating you.

Another thing to consider is how you're going to go about exploring. Slow and steady is the way to go. Don't go straight from a little hair pulling to a full-on slave situation, because both of you need to test your limits. He needs to know how you respond when you're reaching your limit, you need to know how far you can go. This means that later on, he will be less likely to cause real damage (emotional or physical).

Something a lot of people don't realize is that this sort of thing is mostly about emotions, not about 'feeling good'. You're playing with powerful stuff, and you want to make sure you're not getting out of the scope that your relationship can tolerate. A couple who has been married for 20 years will have a lot more tolerance for emotional degradation than a couple who has been together for less than a year. Part of submitting is being able to trust the other person entirely, and not ending up feeling violated when they, well, violate you (only in scene, of course!!!)

People get involved to different depths. You can take this as far as you want. Trust me when I say that there are people out there who make you look like the most vanilla of vanillas. You can do a little role-play from time to time to spice things up, or you can full-out live the lifestyle. The possibilities are endless. It's all about communication and trust between you two. Just make sure that both partners are happy, and you should be fine.

If you're looking for some guidance from a website (and you're of age) I would strongly suggest fetlife.com. It's a social network for people in the kink community, from newbies who like a little hair pulling to seasoned veterans who enjoy some really, really weird stuff. Articles are posted, conversations are had, you can meet other local people at "munches" where you can share ideas and gain knowledge.

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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