I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
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ok this is my situation that i need solved:
so the other day i was coming home from kick boxing class and my mum calls and says they are near the area... so knowing that my dad is with them i didn't want to bump into them because i was dressed in a tight v cut tshirt and jeans (sometimes he freaks out when he sees my collar bones and arms and starts calling me names like slut and slapping me around but at others he is completely okay) a couple of blocks farther down the road is a place where me and my sister wanted to take drawing lessons so i went to the store to register but the lady says that they have no space so i ended up going back in the direction where i came from (towards the boxing studio and home) on my way back i saw my dad and sister who is a serious bitch when it comes to me... she gives me this dirty look and says "i thought you were going home" and i freaked out because of my shirt and dad and i said ah ah well i was going to where you were going! anyway it showed i was lying through my teeth... i don't know why i didn't say i was going to the drawing place and my sister knew i was going to register for it...its just that i said to mum that i was going home and i know that bugged her.... wen my dad wasn't listening i explained to her that i panicked because of my shirt and she says yeah right i don't believe you... i am worried that she may come up with some bazaar story and put me in trouble again!
Some background on the spawn of satan:
when dad asks all she says is i don't knw with a suggestive tone as though i am out drinking but she doesn't want to be part of it....last year she did the same thing and went and told my parents (since she's such a goody gooder) after practically making them worried sick repeating "i don't know ask her".....i snuk out at 7pm and got home at 9 my curfew is at 530 ... we only went for a walk near school where there was still people practicing and stuff....and i got in so much trouble ... since then i backed away from any friends isolated myself completely ... spend most of my time home and barely ever go out....(no i am not with my friends not because they didn't understand its a long story) and so now i have no one and i am trying to make the most out of it and she keeps ruining it! what does she want from me? i mean she is putting us both in trouble (when she says she gets slapped around too ...) and it's not like am prostituting or buying drugs or anything... its so hard when you are presumed guilty before you even do anything!! help me please... i don't want to wear extremely modest clothe and its not like i'm wearing very revealing a-la-paris style clothing!
helpppppppppppp i am suffocating... and please please don't tell me talk to my parents (my mum is scared of my dad about clothing... my dad will kill me if i try to reason) or my sister... first she is so defensive and is wiling to receive no help from others let alone their opinions or feelings... she never doesn't anything besides stay at home so that she avoid my parent's guilt trip... and she is beyond mean she'll say things that really hurt and she won't allow you to tell her anything by blocking it... (link)
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Why don't you try talking to somebody at school? Isolating yourself from your friends won't help you and you'll only end up makeing yourself feel even worse and even more yourself more alone than ever and that's not what you need right now.
I would surgest that you go and see your school counsellor. Now don't say that it doesn't help becasue trust me it can, I went to these seesions with my counsellor and he really helped me get things off my chest and he helped me believe in myself when I had my problems. Plus, they just listen to you and they can give helpful advice to you. Everything which you say to them is completely private. You don't even need to tell your parents (school counsellors are free so don't worry about cost). If your parents or sister (or 'Spawn of Satan' as you so colourfully called her) won't help, then you need either your friends help or outsider's help. He/she may or may not get incontact wiht your parents if he/she feels the need.
I can understand as to why you lied, but sometimes lies can make things worse than make them okay. As you can see, this is the case. Especially if you've told the truth to a sister whom isn't in the slightest bit of help and who m can fabricate a story to get you into trouble. You just need to be confident: you're your own judge and nobody can change that, not even a father whom is uptight about clothing!!
You seem to be insecure as to what you wear as well; for kick-boxing, it's not like you can wear a fleece and baggy trousers to do it can you? No of course not. You mentioned that your dad doesn't notice sometimes? Do you know what kind of mood he's in during those times when he doesn't notice? Because then, you can decide what to wear and what not to wear when he's in one of his moods. Or alternatively, you can take a change of clothes to your kick-boxing and change after the session so that he doesn't see you in those tops.
I cannot emphasise the importance of getting back together with your friends. Even though you haven't told us as to why, you need to have their support. That's what friends are for: to guide, help and support each other when ever another is in need of it and you're the person in need of it.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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Does anyone know any R&B songs about deserving better ? something like Sebastian mego-you deserve better (link)
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Someday - Mariah Carey
Whoa, first time I've only found one song which fits the catagory which is by Mariah!!!
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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So i absolutely HATEHATEHATE babies and anyone under the age of 10. they just really piss me off.
well my mom made me move in with her boyfriend who has 2 sons, one of which has a girlfriend who also lives with them. well she was pregnant. but they induced labor yesterday (gag) because she was a week overdue (big deal). and now its like everything revolves around that stupid thing, and its only been ONE DAY. my mom doesnt tell me i love you on the phone anymore she left me home alone all day today so she could go to the hospital and go see the repugnant thing, and i know that whenever my family comes over theyre not going to want to see me anymore its all gonna be about that monster.
so all im really asking is how do i make it through all this, and how do i not kill it, and deal with the crying, and all that shit. and most of all how do i get over my hate. because i seriously hate ALL kids.
I couldnt have gone with her I WASNT FREAKING HOME WHEN SHE LEFT. I WAS WITH MY DAD. AND CAME HOME TO A DESERTED HOUSE. NO NOTE OR ANYTHING. SHE DIDNT EVEN CALL TO TELL ME SHE LEFT. SO I CALLED AND SHE SAID IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL CAN YOU GET SOME MEAT OUT OF THE FRIDGE BYE. ( sorry about caps) she always says i love you before she hangs up and she hasnt at all since it was born. im not jealous, it just hurts my feelings because its not even part of our family at all, and i dont even get told i lvoe you anymore. and this is an advice site. i asked this question for ADVICE not to be criticized because of my question. so just stop it already..
(link)
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Have you asked this question before? I only ask because of your last comment in your question. It's much simpler to just add info than re-write your question again. Not criticisim, just an observation.
When somebody is a week overdue, there could be some complications which could threaten the baby AND the mother's life, so it's important to induce labour (even though you say 'gag', it's necessary: how do you think you were born then?). And the thought of losing a child which you've carried for a good 9 months is heart breaking so the doctors HAVE to do something. Another thing is that people hang around the baby because those first few days are critical, to see if the baby's health is fine as well as the mother. Even though the baby isn't part of the family, it's still good to be around a give support to the mother. But in a way, the baby is part of the family, just distantly: your mother's boyfriend's son's wife's baby (if that makes sense)
Once upon a time (no pun intended), you were a child and your parents had to pretty much go through with what you listed above. The sleepless the nights, the vomit, the poo, the crying etc. They had to go through it when you were young. All babies are like that: it's just nature. Plus, all babies are sweet when they're young and there are so many 1st's (like first smile, first cry, first sleep etc.) and everybody wants to be part of it because if you miss it, you'll never get those moments back.
Second of all, try and find out as to WHY you hate kids. Sure, you've mentioned all the crying etc. but I'm willing to bet that there is another reason as to why you don't like kids. Think back: when did this hate start? It has to start before the brith of the baby (note: I use the word 'baby' and not 'it').
As for your mum not calling you when you came back: ever thought that she didn't know that she was going to be that long at the hospital or that you'd be home at that time? Time can fly at a hospital, and even quicker around a baby.
As for the 'I love you', how about saying it first, then you're likely to get a response from your mum or from anybody? Plus, she was on her way to the hospital so I'm assuming that she was driving, so it's kinda dangerous to speak on the phone and drive at the same time.
Why don't you go and see the baby for once? Then you can try and find out as to why people love babies. You'll never get over this hate, unless you try and right it yourself. But just ensure you aren't with the baby by yourself. You may not like to be with the baby...in fact, you won't like being there but just spend some time with the baby and see how you get on. You can complain all you want, but just rejecting it isn't going to make things any better and wanting the need to hate the baby just doesn't help.
Babies don't cry all the time, only when they want food or something is wrong. They crap when they need to crap, they can't control it yet.
Talk to your mum about what YOU were like when you were a baby and see what she says. Tell her what you're feeling. It's important because you can take her advice or ours and see which one works the best. Plus, she would know as to how you feel about the baby and will propbably ask why.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
Edit:
Ah, I've just seen your original question. If you got the advice which you didn't want, why have you written out your question again with the additional information which you included in your original question?
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What is the best advice anyone has ever given you in life? (mantras are great) (link)
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"Don't do unto others, as you wouldn't want done unto you"
"Everything happens for a reason"
"When one door closes, another always opens"
"Trust in what you believe, not in what others think or say"
"You are your own judge, only you can make the decisions you want, nobody else can"
"If a kindness to you has been shown: pass it on. For it was not meant to be for thee alone"
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I need an honest viewpoint on this.
Lets say you're a 16 year old girl and you broke up with your 16 year old boyfriend (which is my case). You broke up with him because he's been giving you really obvious hints that he didn't wanna be together anymore. He even said so one time. After a week of breaking up, he sends you a text saying something like: "You're contagious because I cried for no reason last night"
and all of a sudden, you start seeing your ex boyfriend depressed. (he never was before...in fact, he was happy). He tries to flirt with you more... He doesn't eat at lunch...he feels really sad and crappy. He doesnt flirt with girls like he usually did to try and make you jealous. He just sits in your table at lunch and sulks.
If this was your case, do you think he's depressed over the break up?
Thank you (link)
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Yes, I would say that he was depressed over you.
It seems to me that he's realized that he really does love you, even though he wanted to break up.
That can happen sometimes, when you break up with somebody, only to discover that you really do love them and then you begin to regret it. That seems to be happening to your ex-boyfriend.
Go and talk to him, and see if you want to get back together with him. If you don't, I don't think that he'll improve anytime soon. Or just go and talk to him and say that you can still be friends with him.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Do you know songs that tells story like Sk8ter boy by Avril Lavigne. Give me the names of the song and the Artist or Band who sang it. Songs between year 2000 to present. (link)
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Make It Happen - Mariah Carey.
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey.
Don't Forget About Us - Mariah Carey.
I don't know if this is what you wanted, but you can't blame somebody for trying!!!
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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This might be a silly question, but I just want your opinions.
When is the age that you should (well, not 'should'... you know what I mean) start dating. Like really be looking for a long-term relationships and even potentially a future husband? I've never really dated seriously before, and I would just like to know what a good age/stage in life would be to start looking for a potential husband.
I'm 17 and a half, and I would to get married at 21-22. (I'll be done with college when I'm 21, and I want to have a kid before 24... LOL I know I'm weird).
(link)
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17 is a great age to begin dating at. You're more mature and you know whom you are and you know the kind of guy you want.
But when you find this guy isn't very clear. In fact, it is impossible for anybody in the whole world (unless their prone to premonitions) can tell you when you're going to met the right guy.
Anytime when you feel ready to have a long-term realtionship is the right time. It's completly up to you as to when you want to have the realtionship.
I hope that this helped,
triquetra
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Maybe 6 months ago I enjoyed life. I changed schools, made loads of new friends, I was doing ok in school and I had enough free time.
Now, when I get home from school I basically have to start studying straight away, otherwise I won't have enough time for everything. The only thing I'm looking forward to is going to a festival at the end of June...and I can only go to that if I don't fail anything on my final report. When I'm in school, I tend to feel worthless...there was a guy who'd always be with me, and then one day, he told me he had a girlfriend and I felt torn apart. Now when I look at myself in the mirror I just see s*it.
Anything I could do to make myself feel better?
People tell me I'm pretty, funny and I have a great personality but I don't feel it.
I used to be so outgoing, funny and bright...what's happened to me?
15/f (link)
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Whoa, Deja Vu!!! This reminds me of another person like this (namley me!!!).
It seems to me that you're letting the festival, the final report get to you, and making you feel as if you want to prove something, but you aren't able to. You really want to go to the festival, but you're worrying yourself that if you don't get good grades that you won't be able to go.
Cliff notes version: you're imbalanced and stressed.
You need to balance out your work life and your social life because it seems that your social life is dominating your work life, with all the free time during school and the weekend just flat out work. Trust me, that doesn't work.
You need to spread your work evenly over the week so that on the weekend, you have time to relax and just chill out. If you just work over two days, but not enough work over five, then you'll only stress yourself further. It needs to be the other way round.
I must admit that the news of your boyfriend having a girlfriend was bad timing, but you shouldn't let that get to you. You need to concerntrate upon yourself.
You don't feel the way that your friends tell you is because of this imbalance. You feel over stressed by the work which you do over two days, so you don't have time for you even though you've got enough free time.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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My parents snooped through my stuff. they said that i hadnt been acting myself, and yes, i wasnt. i was really depressed and i had written some suicide letters. well... they found them.
they took me to the hospital for a mental health evaluation and now i have to go to a cousler. I dont tell my parents anything so why would they expect me to tell a total stranger whats going on in my life? I dont know whether i should open up. or if I should just keep my business to myself. Any adive on coping with depression would be nice. and answeing my question is greatly appreciated. Thanks. (link)
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When I went to counselling, I didn't know what to say, but I found that telling this complete stranger about what went on in my life, so that he could understnad more about me. If they don't know the person whom they're talking to, they won't be able to help.
For me, he didn't lecture, he listened and gave some guidance. He asked about how I felt about a certain situation and I would tell him. Councellors are there to listen, not to judge those infront of them. If you keep business to yourself, like I said, they won't be able to know the true person whom you are.
As for the depression, I would advise that you listen to the counsellor or your parents if they try and help. Don't push them away and close up. They're trying to help you. As from me, I'm including lyrics to one of Mariah Carey's songs called 'Hero' and it's helped me get through some tough times in the past and I'm sure it will help you:
'There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
Because you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Just hold on
And hold on
And hold on
And there will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
Oh yes it does
Oh yes it does, I know it does
A Hero lies in you.'
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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From primary to high school, my older brother has ALWAYS been ..well..a nerd. he worse glasses, braces, tucked his shirt into his pants, worse his pants really high, got A's in everything.
Then he went off to university.
We didn't see him for a year because of this huge family problem going on (long story) and then when he came to visit us over the summer (so he'd been in uni for a year) he was covered in piercings, some tattoos, cool hair, cool clothes, but then excellent grades.
My mom burst into tears the second she saw him.
She said that he wouldn't be able to get a job (he's intending to be a lawyer) but he's already done work experience, and at that particular place, they don't give a crap about his two lip piercings, tongue and eyebrow (the only facial ones, the ones on his ears are covered by his hair, and there's no way they're gonna see his nipples :D) so is my mom over reacting, since he said that if piercings cause problems in his career, he's more than willing to take them out.
He's a responsible guy, but my mom is almost convinced that he's ''the old man's child'' (i.e son of satan)
What could my dad, my brother and me say to her..? (link)
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'the old man's child' now that's a new one!!
I kinda know what your mum is going through. There is this one kid in my school, right, and a while back he became all emo for personal reasons. He got piercings and everything and he drinks, parties etc. But he still got good grades.
I guess what your brother is going through is a point in his life where he's experimenting with life, seeing what it has got to offer.
Now, I'm guessing that your mum is a good Christian since she called him the son of satan so you need to be careful as to what you say to her. Tell her things like, its just a phase which he's going through, it'll be over soon. If he's still getting the good grades, then there shouldn't be anything to worry about. As long as he is himself and he's happy.
Your mum needs to understand that he isn't that little boy in primary/high school anymore and that he's grown up, like every other boy in this world. Nobody can stay the same way forever (trust me, I tried it and it sucked, not being able to develop into who want to be).
Sorry if this isn't clear,
triquetra
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Tonight was the last straw and my Mom said tomarrow morning she's calling someone for me to talk to because she's done with my crap. I did explode tonight... but Im not going to someone to talk to "because they care" when they obvously dont considering there gettying paid awesome money. Why waste my parents money for my to sit in a room... and listen to some guys words. She would rather send me to some guy so she wont have to deal with the facts SHE SUCKS AS A MOTHER! I told my Dad off tonight because he was being an asshole and I told him he didn't love me because if he did he would atleast try to quit smokeing. He's reocvering from a heart attack but has changed nothing in his life. Im not goign to some fucking therapist because "I bottle my emotions" how to I convince my Mom i dont need to go and to stop botteling my emotions because i eventually explode
even tho i dont I justdnt tell them anything because they suck at listening (link)
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I went to counselling at my school and let me tell you, it really does help. Before that, I thought I didn't need it, but in the end, it allowed me to get things off my chest which I wouldn't have been able to with my peers OR my parents. I used to bottle what I felt because I thought that it would make me strong, but it didn't. It may not be the same with you, but that's what I went through.
The counsellor doesn't talk to you, YOU talk to him/her and tell him/her everything which is bothering you, he/she may ask a few questions here and there just to get the full picture. They aren't there to lecture, they're there to listen when you feel others don't. You can tell him/her everything that you've talked about in this letter and they'll listen.
I know that this isn't the answer to what you asked, but give it a go. Who knows: you may find it useful or not. You'll never know unless you give it a go. That all depends upon how you behave in the meeting.
If you do decide to go through with this, don't go to some outside guy. Go to one in your school because they're free and you can talk to them whenever you want.
Think about it and see whether it can help you or not.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I am a mother of 5, with the two youngest being my step children, ages 14 and 12. My husband and I have the children full time with the exception of every other weekend, they spend with their mom. Ok this is the situation. I have been their step mom for ten years.I have watched them grow, have attended school functions, teacher parent conferences, school trips, all althletic functions, etc... The birth mom, we will call suzy, treats the two different. The oldest gets everything she askes for.. from clothes, shopping, weekend trips, etc.. The youngest gets an occasional shirt or small item. She is very angry at her mom and says things like I hate my mom, I hate my sister, my mom loves her more than me, my mom promises me things and never keeps her promises, etc.. I am becoming very concerned with her anger. I have done very well at keeping my mouth shut when it involves their mother. And I want the youngest to have her lime lit, to feel special, etc..However, I do not want to stoop to the level of their mother and include one in something special and not the other... We always include all 5 of our kids, no matter what we do..we always have..I just dont understand how a mother can put one child so much higher than the other...And she is hurting...I always insure her that she is loved just as equal and all the other children we have...But she always poses the question, "why does my mom love ____ more than me." I dont have an answer for her..My advide has always been, I can't answer for your mom, thats something you will have to ask her. Is there any suggestions to help me out in this situation? What more can I do? Am I giving her the wrong advice? Please help....Desperate step mom.... (link)
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Let's take a look at what Suzy is feeling.
The eldest daughter to her, was a result of the love which she (Suzy) and your husband once shared and she feels as if she needs to keep the eldest happy because she's been around the 'old-couple' longer than the younger daughter.
She may feel as if the younger one won't have many memories of what her life was like before the split up, but the eldest one will so she needs to keep that one happy and spoilt. So in a way, she left it down to you to give the youngest something which Suzy wasn't able to give when she was still her mother.
So, what to do. Talk to Suzy about what the youngest is feeling. Even though she's left your husband, she still is her mother and she needs to try and keep both happy and not to focus upon just one. The youngest needs her real mum to be there, even though she's got you, she still has the need to have the same amount of attention from her real mum. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you're a great mum, but she needs something more than words. Suzy needs to realise what pain she's causing her daughter when she gives all her attention to her eldest.
By telling the youngest that she needs to talk to her mum, makes her feel as if she's been tossed about, from one mum to the other. One gives attention to the other, whilst the other tells her to talk to her mum. She may be feeling alone, even though she's got her dad. This could be what is causing the anger and frustration which you're talking about.
I hope this helped and good luck,
triquetra
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Heyy Everyone!
i keep getting a similar dream. it dosent happen if ive been sleeping soundly, just if i wake up and take a nap. ive gotten in twice in the same week.
the first time i woke up in the morning but i was still in bed. i was thinking about the boy ive beeen hanging out with lately and i realized i think im bored with him. i couldnt think of any fun moments together that we still had sparks. then i fell asleep. but i didnt know i was sleeping, i thought i was still awake. i felt like i couldnt move my body at all, and my heart started racing and it was hard to breathe. it felt like there was a thin wooden board going accross my whole room, starting from the edge of my bed and it was holding me down. i could only open one eye a tiny bit, and i could see my mom standing over me saying "i dont know if she can save herself. we may need to take her to the doctor." i got so scared then, my neck started to burn up. trying to break free i started wiggling my toes and stroking the wooden board until finally i woke up and could move. i jumped out of bed almost shaking i was so scared. this was twords the begining of the week.
yesterday (saturday) i had it again. (after i ended things with the boy.). i had woken up and gone into the other room to watch TV. i was all comfy under the blankets just resting. i didnt think i fell asleep. i felt like i couldnt move again. the back of my neck got hot and it was difficult to breathe. then i saw myself slipping from the bed, from lack of oxygen. then a horn sounded. while the horn was going, there was no air and i could get back in bed but when it stopped i started falling off again. then i hear my mom in the background telling my little brother to stop blowing the horn. finally i woke up.
i told my mom about these, and she said it was anxiety. she asked me what im anxious about. lately ive been thinking it could have been the boy ive been hanging out with. the second time i fell asleep, i was thinking about how sad he looked after i ended things between us.
so my questions are:
1. what does everything in the dream represent (in your opinion).
2. how do i know what im anxious about?
3. how do i fix this and make the dreams go away?
thanks so much!!
and help would be great, thanks! (link)
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Interesting, I've never heard of this happening before.
I think that you feel restircted by this realtionship, and you feel the urge to break free from it.
Dreams are a way in which we see our true inner desires, our inner truths. These dreams could be a way to tell you that you don't want to be in this realtionship anymore. Except you don't feel you're able to and that you need to have help to get you through it.
If you think that you're anxious about something, look down deep within yourself till you come to the place where this anxiety is coming from and then try and figure out when it started and the best place to begin would be to think back to the day which these dreams began on and what you were doing before. Was it when you realsied that you and your boyfriend don't have any chemistry between the two of you??
I can't think of what you're neck burning means, but I did find this on the web:
"Burning
To see something burning, indicates that you are experiencing some intense emotions and/or passionate sexual feelings. There is some situation or issue that you can no longer avoid and ignore. Alternatively, it may suggests that you need to take time off for yourself and relax."
The best way to stop these from happening is to do what you need to do and I think that you know what I'm talking about. I know that this may not be what you want to hear, but it's the only way in which I can think of to stop these dreams.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I am the head of the committee who is setting up the end of the year dance at our high school. The dj wants some songs that we want. What are some good dance songs? So far I have pour some sugar on me, from the window to the wall, you shook me all night long, low, ass like that, and love like this.... any other songs that are fun to dance to>?>?? Thank you! (link)
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It's Like That - Mariah Carey.
Heartbreaker - Mariah Carey (with Jay Z).
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis.
I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston.
Honey - Mariah Carey.
It's Not Right, But It's Okay - Whitney Houston.
I hope this helped and good luck with the dance!
triquetra
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ok there is this guy i like and he is currently in a relationship. the only reason he is in the relationship is because he was forced into it because no other girls liked him. when shes not around he constantly flirts with me and is all touchy and stuff. in general he is a flirty guy. his relationship with his girlfriend in kind on the rocks because she tells her friends that she hates him but then the next day she loves him. he does not really pay attention to her when i am around. they dont seem to have a strong relationship like before. how can i figure out if he likes me? also how do i know if he is going to break up with his girlfriend and how much longer it is going to last? and how can i get his attention towards me and not to his slut bag girlfriend who still feeling for her ex. (link)
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Well, it seems as if you've already got his attention from what you've said. I mean he flirts with you and pays hardly any attention to his girlfriend when you're around him.
As for his girlfriend, it seems to me that she isn't sure whether she loves him or not. Sometimes you just don't know what you feel for another person and sometimes you feel as if that the only way for you to find out would be to go out with that guy. But even then that doesn't work! I think that she's trying to convince herself that she loves him, even thought another part of her is telling her that she isn't. Kinda complicated but it makes sense once you think about it.
Now for you, be paitient. Breakups could happen at any time, there is no way to predict when a break up is about to occur unless you get premonitions (!). You've already got his attention, you just need to wait for the break-up. BUT don't go out with him straight away. His current girlfriend may get some shock when they break-up and if she finds out that you're going out with him already and knowing that he didn't really care would be heatbreaking for her. So just wait for a while after the break up.
BUT if he wants to go out with you before then, say no and tell him that he needs to break up with his current girlfriend. It's not nice to find out that you've been cheated on (from a girlfriend's point of view). It's not being mean, just being considerate to the other girl, no matter as to what you think of her.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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so for junior year Mandy came to my high school. She is known as a slut but our school is really chill so everyone was eager for her arrival. me and mandy became really close. shared secrets and instantlyclicked. she was knwn to be a social climber but i ignroed that. then she became friends with the prettiest girl in my grade, Rose (who is also best friends with the hot seniors) and kind of stopped talking to be an my friends. but wtrv we were still friends. then i heard she hooked up with this senior. she never told me about it so i called ehr and kind of hinted it out of her. she got mad that i didnt straght out tlel her but wtvr. then we had a lseep over. that sat night there was a senior party. i am not friends with the seniors but she and Rose did so i came. we all amde a pack to not leave me but they did. i got drunk and bad stuff happened. after the party things were never the same. she stopped tlaing to me and is was really sad. we are going ont he sam summer program so i decided to cal her to clear the air. she was such a b***h!!!!!!!!! like sayingall my bad qulities and stuff and i like was just shocked at how soemone who i was bets friends could htink of me liek that!!! i was like are you kidding me? she said that she views me in a bad light now ever since th party. i was like fi my friend made a mistake iw ould never hold a grudge how dare you! she also said that her and her friedsn could make my friend (who she doesn;t like, who is also going on this summer prigram) life a living hell!! who the hell does she htink she is. i am realllly nervious for summer now. i still have schol time with her which will be awkward but i could handle that. i feel since she is SOOOO manipulative that she will befriend everyone and eveyone will be firneds with ehr and i will have a terriable summer. please help. give me advice that you persoannly would take bc just syaing "ignore her" wont help.
reallyappricte it (link)
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Okay, before I say anything, watch the spelling. I know that you're angry and want to get everything down quickly, but just take a few seconds to read over and correct any mistakes. It makes our lives bit easier and it also makes the question easier to read.
Your friend isn't a true friend any longer and I think that you know that. You don't have to take anything that she says. If somebody said that to me, you know what I would do? I'd go and give them what I thought about them. Go, pick up the phone and tell your ex-friend what you've written in this letter. She needs to know as to where you stand and you need to make that plain.
You've got nothing to fear for the summer, if she dares to try and spoil it, then she's incredibly selfish and mean. You've cut all ties from her and you've got nothing to do with her. I'm sure that you're a great friend, and if she's passed you up for somebody else who is, what I call, a 'Popular, selfish kid with no life' then that's her problem.
I'm glad that you first tried to make ammends, for it would be the first thing that I would surgest, but since that didn't work, then she's beyond reasoning.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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what are some good lyrics that mean you and your ex have gotten back together ?
please & thank you (link)
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This song is by Mariah Carey and it's called We Belong Together:
"I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever be without your love
Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself
'Cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips 'cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give to have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby
(We belong together)
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
'Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough?
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone 'till the sun comes up?
Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better?
Oh, baby baby, we belong together
I can't sleep at night when you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio saying to me:
"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute this is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station so I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break and then I hear Babyface
I only think of you and it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together but I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song it ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside
I need you, need you back in my life, baby
(We belong together)
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
'Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough?
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone 'til the sun comes up?
Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better?
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby!
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
'Cause we belong together
Who I'm gonna lean on when times get rough?
Who's gonna talk to me 'til the sun comes up?
Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better?
Oh, baby baby, we belong together"
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i like a beautiful person whom i have never actually met. he is intellectual, independent, has great style, and from what i hear he may never have even had a girlfriend. but something about the way he thinks about life intrigues me ever so much. i spoke to his good friend who told me that he is somewhat withdrawn at times and although many cute girls like him, he wont just settle for a pretty face, he wants something more.
and i am the same way as this guy. i like to be me, and dont like to feel smothered, i like to read books and listen to music and find some meaning to life. but my best friend is convinced that he is her soul mate although they have never met. hes like the perfect guy for her appearance wise and she likes the way his personality is. she does not know that i like him, because i dont want this to turn into some kind of friend competition. well the point is i have to talk to this guy and get to know him and then introduce them, lol. i dont really mind, i mean i want her to have him because i dont need a boyfriend but she really likes him a lot. i see him at a certain time of day. how do i introduce myself? do i just say hey whats up? haha. thanx =]
(link)
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Ah, the aged old and done to death question: how to approach somebody to introduce themselves.
I would take the subtle approach, like just go over, say 'hi' and tell him who you are and ask some questions about him and that just shows that you want to be friends with him and just repeat the process over a few weeks, so that a bond of friendship can occur. Sit with him at lunch times, take some interest in his life, but make it plain that you don't want to go out with him, just friends.
After a while (when you know each other better), I would surgest that you ask him this question: "Are you looking to be with somebody?" and see what his reply is. Either way, tell him that your friend has got feelings for him and you'd like him to meet her. See where that takes you.
It's a long process unfortunatly. I can't think of any quick way for you to introduce somebody to somebody else whom you don't even know. It takes time.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
P.S. This is my 300th question that I've answered.
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First off, I'm a 25 year old male. A few years back, my first girlfriend and I broke up and remained friends. She started dating this guy who was a manipulative con artist. I called him on it, he told her I was trying to get back with her, and she broke off our friendship and threatened me if I ever spoke to her again.
In the end he did con her, and she still treats me like a stalker and threatening person. This would be easy to get over if I just didn't keep running into her and her clique.
How do I finally just get over the issue? I've long given up on making anything of this broken bond, and just want to stop letting this girl's existance bother me whenever I run into her. (link)
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Be the one with the last word.
Call her on what her mobile or her home phone. Don't let her speak, tell that you're not the person that her boyfriend is telling that you are. All those times that you ran into each other wasn't because you were stalking her, it was just coincidence and luck. All you ever wanted was to be friends, but now there is nothing else left between the two of you. Then hang up.
I know that you may or may not find this difficult, but it is the only way that you and everybody else will get over it.
You know whom you are and that you aren't the person that her boyfriend says you are.
Plus, if you were a stalker, you would've been more subtle and not kept running into her. And you would've probably done something by now (don't ask what, but something).
Try and avoid the places that she usually goes to so that you don't run into her.
Remeber, if you want this to end then you MUST call her and tell all that was said up above.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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I am 14/f and my sister is 17/f. My mom and dad always say that they love me, but whenever me and my sister fight, they take her side and i get in trouble. I know right now i may seem like a bratty kid but hear me out. So i went in her room to get MY dress and she got pissed, told my mom, and I got grounded because i went to get MY dress SHE stole. How is that fair? They also take my hard earned chore money and give it to her who has a job but uses her money to buy beer and drugs. My sister assumes that its her place to take my make-up, clothes, bags, money, and jewelry without asking and when i yell at her my parents say, "shes going through a rough time, give her a break" and ground me. So My sister has her EIGHTH prom, and my parents are choosing to stay home with her instead of taking me to the doctor for my bad allergies. and im just done. what can i do to stop this from keep on happening? thanks for reading (link)
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You need to talk to your parents about it when your sister isn't there. If you do this, you'll be making a big and brave step, one which should benefit you for future events, plus, it shows that your maturing into a young woman. Don't talk to you sister because I can garentee that she won't do anything(and I'm sure that you know this as well!!).
Tell them EVERYTHING which you mentioned in your letter. And make sure that they see it from your point of view. As parents, it's their duty to listen and help their children in whatever troubles their going through, even if it's in their own family. You've got the right to make a stand, nobody has the right to push you around.
Could it be possible for you to put your make up, money (especially that) and jewelry in a box which can be locked? That way your sister can't get them BUT you must take the key with you.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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