|
My brother...
From primary to high school, my older brother has ALWAYS been ..well..a nerd. he worse glasses, braces, tucked his shirt into his pants, worse his pants really high, got A's in everything.
Then he went off to university.
We didn't see him for a year because of this huge family problem going on (long story) and then when he came to visit us over the summer (so he'd been in uni for a year) he was covered in piercings, some tattoos, cool hair, cool clothes, but then excellent grades.
My mom burst into tears the second she saw him.
She said that he wouldn't be able to get a job (he's intending to be a lawyer) but he's already done work experience, and at that particular place, they don't give a crap about his two lip piercings, tongue and eyebrow (the only facial ones, the ones on his ears are covered by his hair, and there's no way they're gonna see his nipples :D) so is my mom over reacting, since he said that if piercings cause problems in his career, he's more than willing to take them out.
He's a responsible guy, but my mom is almost convinced that he's ''the old man's child'' (i.e son of satan)
What could my dad, my brother and me say to her..?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Respect your mother's fears and concern, because they are real too her, even if they are kind of silly.
The best thing you can do it not 'argue' with her pre say, just remind that her son is an intelligent boy with good grades, who has made the choice to look the way he does. He's obviously not an idiot. He knows there are some possible problems choosing to appear the way he does and he is willing to face them. As an adult, that is his choice to make.
Your mom knows he's not an idiot or the devil's child. So don't even try to argue with her when she says things like that. It would be like trying to argue with someone who says the sky is green. It's just silly to even bother.
Just remind your mom that she has loved and trusted him in the past and he has earned that trust. Don't agrue with her feelings, she's allowed to be upset and angry. She doesn't have to like his choice, but it doesn't do any good to cry or bring the satan into it.
Arguing with her will likely only make her stick even more firmly to her belief that it is evil. It's best to simply keep your conversation about him to the positive things he does, and tell her that you understand her negative feelings about his apperance, you don't share her opinion or concern about his at this point.
]
Your mom was just shocked to see him
looking different than when he left.
Given a little time I'm sure she will
calm down.
Most lawyers wear suits. That should
cover almost any tattoos. Piercings
are removable when they need to be,
so there really isn't a problem. I
think your brother is smart enough
not to go into a job interview
looking all punked out. Just tell
her to let him be free to express
himself while he has a chance. :)
]
'the old man's child' now that's a new one!!
I kinda know what your mum is going through. There is this one kid in my school, right, and a while back he became all emo for personal reasons. He got piercings and everything and he drinks, parties etc. But he still got good grades.
I guess what your brother is going through is a point in his life where he's experimenting with life, seeing what it has got to offer.
Now, I'm guessing that your mum is a good Christian since she called him the son of satan so you need to be careful as to what you say to her. Tell her things like, its just a phase which he's going through, it'll be over soon. If he's still getting the good grades, then there shouldn't be anything to worry about. As long as he is himself and he's happy.
Your mum needs to understand that he isn't that little boy in primary/high school anymore and that he's grown up, like every other boy in this world. Nobody can stay the same way forever (trust me, I tried it and it sucked, not being able to develop into who want to be).
Sorry if this isn't clear,
triquetra
]
More Questions: |