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i can't stop lying!!!
ok this is my situation that i need solved:
so the other day i was coming home from kick boxing class and my mum calls and says they are near the area... so knowing that my dad is with them i didn't want to bump into them because i was dressed in a tight v cut tshirt and jeans (sometimes he freaks out when he sees my collar bones and arms and starts calling me names like slut and slapping me around but at others he is completely okay) a couple of blocks farther down the road is a place where me and my sister wanted to take drawing lessons so i went to the store to register but the lady says that they have no space so i ended up going back in the direction where i came from (towards the boxing studio and home) on my way back i saw my dad and sister who is a serious bitch when it comes to me... she gives me this dirty look and says "i thought you were going home" and i freaked out because of my shirt and dad and i said ah ah well i was going to where you were going! anyway it showed i was lying through my teeth... i don't know why i didn't say i was going to the drawing place and my sister knew i was going to register for it...its just that i said to mum that i was going home and i know that bugged her.... wen my dad wasn't listening i explained to her that i panicked because of my shirt and she says yeah right i don't believe you... i am worried that she may come up with some bazaar story and put me in trouble again!
Some background on the spawn of satan:
when dad asks all she says is i don't knw with a suggestive tone as though i am out drinking but she doesn't want to be part of it....last year she did the same thing and went and told my parents (since she's such a goody gooder) after practically making them worried sick repeating "i don't know ask her".....i snuk out at 7pm and got home at 9 my curfew is at 530 ... we only went for a walk near school where there was still people practicing and stuff....and i got in so much trouble ... since then i backed away from any friends isolated myself completely ... spend most of my time home and barely ever go out....(no i am not with my friends not because they didn't understand its a long story) and so now i have no one and i am trying to make the most out of it and she keeps ruining it! what does she want from me? i mean she is putting us both in trouble (when she says she gets slapped around too ...) and it's not like am prostituting or buying drugs or anything... its so hard when you are presumed guilty before you even do anything!! help me please... i don't want to wear extremely modest clothe and its not like i'm wearing very revealing a-la-paris style clothing!
helpppppppppppp i am suffocating... and please please don't tell me talk to my parents (my mum is scared of my dad about clothing... my dad will kill me if i try to reason) or my sister... first she is so defensive and is wiling to receive no help from others let alone their opinions or feelings... she never doesn't anything besides stay at home so that she avoid my parent's guilt trip... and she is beyond mean she'll say things that really hurt and she won't allow you to tell her anything by blocking it...
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Why don't you try talking to somebody at school? Isolating yourself from your friends won't help you and you'll only end up makeing yourself feel even worse and even more yourself more alone than ever and that's not what you need right now.
I would surgest that you go and see your school counsellor. Now don't say that it doesn't help becasue trust me it can, I went to these seesions with my counsellor and he really helped me get things off my chest and he helped me believe in myself when I had my problems. Plus, they just listen to you and they can give helpful advice to you. Everything which you say to them is completely private. You don't even need to tell your parents (school counsellors are free so don't worry about cost). If your parents or sister (or 'Spawn of Satan' as you so colourfully called her) won't help, then you need either your friends help or outsider's help. He/she may or may not get incontact wiht your parents if he/she feels the need.
I can understand as to why you lied, but sometimes lies can make things worse than make them okay. As you can see, this is the case. Especially if you've told the truth to a sister whom isn't in the slightest bit of help and who m can fabricate a story to get you into trouble. You just need to be confident: you're your own judge and nobody can change that, not even a father whom is uptight about clothing!!
You seem to be insecure as to what you wear as well; for kick-boxing, it's not like you can wear a fleece and baggy trousers to do it can you? No of course not. You mentioned that your dad doesn't notice sometimes? Do you know what kind of mood he's in during those times when he doesn't notice? Because then, you can decide what to wear and what not to wear when he's in one of his moods. Or alternatively, you can take a change of clothes to your kick-boxing and change after the session so that he doesn't see you in those tops.
I cannot emphasise the importance of getting back together with your friends. Even though you haven't told us as to why, you need to have their support. That's what friends are for: to guide, help and support each other when ever another is in need of it and you're the person in need of it.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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There is just no pleasing some people, I will spare you the stories of my step father. You should reconsider your stance on clothes until you are old enough to move out and detach yourself from him. Kids often feel suffocated by having to live under their parents rule. I consider this a good thing, otherwise they would never move out on their own.
Lying comes out of necessity, I know, I could never have gotten out of my teen years alive had I not. Trouble is, you are making it harder on yourself then you have to be. Cover up for your dads sake, I don't want to bring this up, but I will. You must consider that maybe, somewhere deep down inside, you may actually be turning your own father on wearing these things, ya, ewwwwwwwwww, and that is why he doesn't like it, because you are not suppose to be turned on by your own daughter. You know better then to repeat that to anyone I hope. The other option is that he finds something about the way you are dressing as disgusting, your collar bone perhaps and he considers this as an affront to his perceived image.
In answer to your follow up question:
Sweetheart, don't get out, get smart. You think that your father, mother and sister are unique to this world? Do you think that you will never run into people like them? Your being silly if you think so.
We are all put on this earth to help each other learn and grow, do you think yourself so worthless that you have nothing to teach them. Sometimes your children have the most to teach you, but many parents can't believe that someone younger then them could teach them anything. The thing they don't know is, that the age of the spirit, (or soul if you prefer), inside you could be older then theirs.
This is where you have to be smart, you have to teach them without appearing to teach them. One person can be the calming force in a room of angry people, learn to act on a situation, instead of reacting to a situation.
You are reacting to your fathers wish that you dress in what he considers an appropriate way, with rebellion, not with understanding. Act upon it by doing as he wishes until you are old enough to move out of his house. Understanding that people are not perfect, some even less so, puts them in a whole new light. Learn to look at them with your spirit, not your eyes.
These types of people will be apart of your life in one form or another all your life, learn to deal with them, not alienate them. Live your life in a way that teaches them how to live theirs, not forces them. In the end it may make them a better person, but some people are beyond help, trouble is, you never know who is and who is not until you try.
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