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Something's not right anymore.
Maybe 6 months ago I enjoyed life. I changed schools, made loads of new friends, I was doing ok in school and I had enough free time.
Now, when I get home from school I basically have to start studying straight away, otherwise I won't have enough time for everything. The only thing I'm looking forward to is going to a festival at the end of June...and I can only go to that if I don't fail anything on my final report. When I'm in school, I tend to feel worthless...there was a guy who'd always be with me, and then one day, he told me he had a girlfriend and I felt torn apart. Now when I look at myself in the mirror I just see s*it.
Anything I could do to make myself feel better?
People tell me I'm pretty, funny and I have a great personality but I don't feel it.
I used to be so outgoing, funny and bright...what's happened to me?
15/f
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
It amazes me how many people turn right away to mood changing drugs just because of a down swing. You have answered all already in your letter. You are experiencing morning at the loss of someone you should be calling a friend. Because he is see someone else, he can not be your friend? Secondly, there are times in our life that we take on too much and it becomes overwhelming. What was not too much for you 6 months ago, is now, drop something(s) for awhile and stop trying to be super girl at 15.
You will have your ups and downs through life, don't try to cover them up, learn to except them and deal with them. Find people on your path in life to help you and don't dismiss them just because they have a girl friend, a boy friend, are married, or are waaaay older then you.
Be well, save the super girl part for when you are much older and become a super mom.
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I went through the same thing starting back around 7th grade. Once it got bad enough for others to notice and mention to my parents how worried they were becoming, my parents started taking me to a therapist/councelor/psychiatrist. Along with therapy, I started taking zoloft. There's no quick fix, but these things can help tremendously over time.
If you don't believe in God, this next part won't really be of any help I guess, but it wouldn't be right for me not to tell you. Conceling and medication can help, but only God can really heal. Constantly remind yourslef of how incredibly important and beautiful you are to him and how much he loves you. That's where you'll find your real worth.
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Whoa, Deja Vu!!! This reminds me of another person like this (namley me!!!).
It seems to me that you're letting the festival, the final report get to you, and making you feel as if you want to prove something, but you aren't able to. You really want to go to the festival, but you're worrying yourself that if you don't get good grades that you won't be able to go.
Cliff notes version: you're imbalanced and stressed.
You need to balance out your work life and your social life because it seems that your social life is dominating your work life, with all the free time during school and the weekend just flat out work. Trust me, that doesn't work.
You need to spread your work evenly over the week so that on the weekend, you have time to relax and just chill out. If you just work over two days, but not enough work over five, then you'll only stress yourself further. It needs to be the other way round.
I must admit that the news of your boyfriend having a girlfriend was bad timing, but you shouldn't let that get to you. You need to concerntrate upon yourself.
You don't feel the way that your friends tell you is because of this imbalance. You feel over stressed by the work which you do over two days, so you don't have time for you even though you've got enough free time.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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