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the intellectual guy
i like a beautiful person whom i have never actually met. he is intellectual, independent, has great style, and from what i hear he may never have even had a girlfriend. but something about the way he thinks about life intrigues me ever so much. i spoke to his good friend who told me that he is somewhat withdrawn at times and although many cute girls like him, he wont just settle for a pretty face, he wants something more.
and i am the same way as this guy. i like to be me, and dont like to feel smothered, i like to read books and listen to music and find some meaning to life. but my best friend is convinced that he is her soul mate although they have never met. hes like the perfect guy for her appearance wise and she likes the way his personality is. she does not know that i like him, because i dont want this to turn into some kind of friend competition. well the point is i have to talk to this guy and get to know him and then introduce them, lol. i dont really mind, i mean i want her to have him because i dont need a boyfriend but she really likes him a lot. i see him at a certain time of day. how do i introduce myself? do i just say hey whats up? haha. thanx =]
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A few years ago my best friend and I liked the same person. They had a lot of common classes so she promised to talk to him for me. I never knew that the whole time she liked him and she eventually got to know him and dated him instead of helping me do that. I felt played like a total fool.
You have to stop liking this guy. It will take time and if you decide to help your friend, you should introduce her to the guy's friend that you talked to. You can make this go faster by just going up to the guy and later introducing your friend when all three of you are together.
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Ah, the aged old and done to death question: how to approach somebody to introduce themselves.
I would take the subtle approach, like just go over, say 'hi' and tell him who you are and ask some questions about him and that just shows that you want to be friends with him and just repeat the process over a few weeks, so that a bond of friendship can occur. Sit with him at lunch times, take some interest in his life, but make it plain that you don't want to go out with him, just friends.
After a while (when you know each other better), I would surgest that you ask him this question: "Are you looking to be with somebody?" and see what his reply is. Either way, tell him that your friend has got feelings for him and you'd like him to meet her. See where that takes you.
It's a long process unfortunatly. I can't think of any quick way for you to introduce somebody to somebody else whom you don't even know. It takes time.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
P.S. This is my 300th question that I've answered.
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continueing to like this person without sharing that with your best friend would be wrong if she sees him a soulmate. if this person is actually your best friend, she will understand what you feel and you will be able to work through it. if not it may be difficult for you to stop liking him. chose between the friend-ship or this 'intellectual guy'. beware that the guy may not be what you expect and friend-ships are fragile. if you meet him you could feel temptation to flirt which is unfair to your friend. try an atypical aproach for this unusal guy and be careful not to betray the best friend's trust. talk to his close friend again to hear about his interests and use them to start conversation.
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have his good friend introduce you two sometime on a semi-group outing, like go see a new exhibit at some museum and you three can just hang out and talk a little. trade phone numbers or e-mail addresses and hang out again in a small group like that.
...or tell your friend to do that, she seems like she's crushing pretty badly.
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