I finally updated my picture, I thought it was time for an update on it so I picked my favorite picture. After all, my previous picture was almost 2 and a half years old!
My name is Ryan. And I will answer most everything you want to ask to the best of my God given ability.But I will not sugar coat any answer and I will give MY advice. I don't care about my ratings, so don't think giving me a 1 for an answer you don't want to hear will scare me. And if you already know what you should do about a sitaution, don't come to us here at advicenators asking for a second opinion. And here below is a list of questions you should NOT ask on advicenators. Granted some of them may vary and be acceptable, but overall don't ask the below questions on Advicenators.
**Don't ask questions like "OMG i heard this song on the radio with "insert pointless pop lyrics here" and i wanna know what it is so what is it! Thanks!! I rate 5sssss! hearts". This question can be simply googled with the lyrics, or you need only ask a friend
**Don't ask "ok so there is the hott guy/gal in my class and he/she like got me a *insert gift or simple trinket here* do you think he/she likes me?" This is the most common question here on this website sadly. Unless it is vitally important and actually pertains to a feeling of true feelings, don't ask it. This is most asked by teens. And what teens need to learn is "love" is not thinking a guy/girl is sweet and hott and nice. I know love, and it is so far from all those things. Remember Cicero when he said "Out of all the emotions, love is the most violent. Love is madness."
**"Ok so me and my boyfriend had sex last night and we like used no protection omg he came in me do you think i am pregnant?" Ugh. Stupid teens and their hormones. IF YOU HAVE SEX YOU ALWAYS RUN THE RISK OF PREGNANCY, UNLESS YOUR STERILE. And if you don't know anything about sex, you shouldn't be doing it. Even if you "love" your partner, half the time this is a disallusion and you will end up hurt. Sex is for marriage.
**Or asking what's "in" for fashion, or what they should wear out tonight. Or what is "cute" and what looks good. Pick and choose for yourself what you like, think for yourself instead of trying to let other people do it for you. Stand up and be yourself.
These are the most common questions I have seen on Advicenators. Now there are a few questions that are very good questions and deserve the 3 rating and the best answer possible. But they are usually blocked out with the kinds of questions listed above. If you want to ask something, check the following off that I am listing.
1.Does the question pertain to anything important or trivial?
2.Is proper grammar used?
3.Is the question long and in one paragraph?
4.Is it a question that you yourself can answer?
5.Is there enough detail?
Following those 5 guidelines, you can write a good 3 point answer. That about wraps it up.
I spend alot of time online and here on advicenators, so if you ever need anything then just send something in my inbox or IM me. I'm not opposed to helping people at all, in fact I love doing it. I just want some people to wake up from asking a stupid question.
Thank you all for your time.
Gnothi seauton - Know thyself My Motto
E-mail: alpha_0mega345@yahoo.com
Gender: Male
Location: New Palestine, Indiana
Occupation: Movie Theater Employee
Age: 17
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Member Since: July 13, 2005
Answers: 496
Last Update: May 17, 2008
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What're some good Coldplay songs?...And, if you watched the Grammys, they played a really cool song. I dunno what it's called though...does anyone know it?
And, one more thing. I wanna download new songs. Any ideas?...
Thanks for thy time.
Kay. (link)
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Google search Coldplay songs.
Or maybe just go to their website? I am sure they would have a track listing there.
Or go to www.wikipedia.org and search Coldplay.
These will all get you results. I can't understand how anyone couldn't think of the obvious first.
-Ryan
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13/f
i was recently raped and im scared. the guy who raped me..was my bedt friends boyfriend (shes 14 hes 15 turning 16) and im scared. i have nightmares about it and im afraid to go to sleep..i keep getting calls that have perverted breathing for like 15 seconds then he hangs up i havent told anyone..and im SCARED!! he threatend to kill me and my family..what should i do?? (link)
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Tell your family. Tell a close friend. Tell a trusted an adult. And most of all, let the police know.
This is the sole reason why so many rapes go unaccounted for for so long, it's the fear instilled on the victim. YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE AND YOU NEED TO TELL THEM NOW. He is 15 and I seriously doubt he can hurt you or your family. This fucker needs to be shipped off where you will never see him again. You need to tell someone, and let the police and everyone else know what he intends to do if you tell. Don't let fear prevail here, because fear is too trivial to let be.
I hate people who do this, and it is my wish that you get help on this. And I hope what I said only helps to encourage you to tell someone and get this bastard where he belongs. You have a prayer from me this night. If you need anything else, please tell me because I would be more than happy to help.
-Ryan
*edit* P.S. Don't think....do.
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my name is Rachel and iam 16 and this boy asked me out yesterday at school,but he told me to keep it secrete is this normal for a boy who just started dating a girl to want to keep their relationship secret from evrybody?If it's not normal what should I do? (link)
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Why is he keeping it a secret?
Normally, when people first starting going out, don't they want everyone to know? Or atleast have their friends know?
Something doesn't seem right there. Ask him why he wants it kept secret because deserve to know why.
I hope I helped.
-Ryan
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Well this all happened this week.
In my school we have tables that fit eight
people so all my friends that are close sit there.I've been in Lunch Detentions for the week but today,today i sit down like its nothing chilling wiht my homes and Taunya and Charmaine sit at another table.Confused i asked why there not sitting at our table and they dont answer me so i was like whats going on!!I go back to my table and ask Kayliegh she says because i called taunyas sister a shes mad and wont sit here.I get mad because i dont know whats going on and Taunyas mad at me so is Charmaine i try asking them but they wont talk to me.I ask Corina and she says "because your hanging out with Kayliegh"I havent known whats been going on and shes taking it out on me .Ive been known that when i get mad i hit people and wind up in iss not this time ive been kicking the bathrom stall doors.So i run in there and kick it and kick it and kick it so many times i lost count and started crying.I dont like it when people see me cry because its a sigh of weakness and im not the one to cry and all this but i cnat help it .Well we have passes so we cant stay to long at the bathroom(this is all happening at lunch)so i come out all red faced and still crying at yell at kayliegh "because of you shes not my friend anymore!!!"Still crying i know Charmaine says crap behind your back so i know there talking about me.Everyone i dont know are like whats wrong i always said nothing im fine lil as possible.I dont like the guidence constaler so i dont go to her.I ended up crying in class....
well its not about crying itd about crying but my friends tell me im nto mad at you and i say dont talk to me....
help me
im 13 (link)
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Your in a bad situation.
First off, let me tell you crying, is not a sign of weakness. And if you are one to think that, then you are wrong.
You have typical teeange drama. And I will just assume your a girl so I will tell you. Alot of girls that are young teens, are mean and vicious. Just forget it all. They all have obviously proven the degree of their friendship to you. They don't seem like good friends to want to ditch you like they did, and directly put you in the middle of their fued. Get new friends. Friends that you can trust and won't go behind your back. Those people you told me about, aren't good friends.
And I know what true friendship is. I grew up friendless and hated until 2 years ago (and I am onl 16). I know what friendship means and I can tell you from what you've told me. That isn't friendship, and they are not worth neither your tears, or your time.
I'm here if you need to tell me anything else at all, so please, don't be hesitant to message me again.
I hope I helped you, and I hope everything your expierencing, goes away and better friends, is something you will find from this.
-Ryan
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Hello Friends, thank you for reading this. I have a friend, she was actually one of my first friends here, and I just heard that she was saying things about me behind my back to people that are my friends. Should I confront her about what she is saying? (link)
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Yes confront her.
But don't make a huge public deal over it. Confront her when she is alone and ask her about what you've heard and find out what she says about it. Be very calm about it but yet be very assertive when asking about it. Don't lost anger or go about accusing her. Just tell her what you've heard and ask her about it. Judge for yourself what her answer is.
I hope I helped though, and good luck and I hope this gossiping about you behind your back between your friends isn't true.
-Ryan
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i dont want to sound rude by asking thids question
but why do we need to have a gf or a bf cant we make it on our own or whtever
all i heard was trouble and prop to hell with it aal (link)
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Isn't that a personal question?
And if so, only you can answer it, so why are you telling us?
It's your own opinion. And yours only. What a waste of a question.
-Ryan
*edit* I don't believe I am going to hell. And you can't tell me to go there, only God can damn me to hell.
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Im 13..i was rapped and i guess it put me into a totally different path. I got depression (it was a surprise to people) and then i got into a huge fight and broke this girls arm and got sent to juvey..i got out like a month ago and my parents hate me. my dad relates me to my cracked-out brother who is in jail. he thinks im nothing..im thinking about leaving.like perminatly.. (link)
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Have you considered therapy and professional help?
Because it sounds to me the problem is you need some kind of counsiling. Look into it and see what you can get. If I had website on the subject I would give them to you, but I do not sadly. You might consider looking up support groups and ways you can contact a professional counsiler.
Also about your parents. I don't see why they are mad at you and hate you. And you havn't done drugs so how can your father relate you to a cracked out brother in jail? That makes no sense. If your parents won't give you the light of day, then bring your own light and show them. Talk to them about it and if they won't listen, then it is time to go to a higher power and ask for help there. Because any parent who won't care for their kid, doesn't deserve to have the title of parent.
That is all I can think of right now. I don't think it is much, but as long as it is helping you and I helped, that is what matters. Good luck and you do have a prayer from me. Just don't think of ending things permanently. There is no situation so bad that that is even an option.
-Ryan
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Hi everyone!
My name is Todd, and I am a 15-year-old High School student with a situation. I have a female friend who is stuck in a pretty tough life. I don't know what to do. She was put in a psychiatric hospital for about two weeks about a couple months ago, and she told me that the doctors are going to put her back for at least 6 months to a year.
The situation is that her family is pretty messed up. They don't even really care about her that much. I am her best friend at the moment, and I have and am helping her get through these tough times.
She really likes me, and I really like her, and she and I want a relationship when things clear up. The problem is that she might end up in the psychiatric hospital again or she might be moving far away.
I don't know what to do. She is getting over a lot of her issues and problems and putting them in the past behind her. I am trying to get advice as to what I can do to maybe convince the doctors or something along those lines so she doesn't have to go away to the psychiatric hospital and maybe give things a chance to clear up.
I don't know her doctors or counselor personally, but I am just desperate to try anything to change their minds. Thanks for reading this. I apologize for it being so long. Thank you again.
Todd (link)
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If your truly care for her (which I know you do, you said it) then you would have to find it in your heart to wish her to go to that hospital and get help.
I know that would be hard for you to do, but you both can't have anything right now it seems other than just friends. If the doctors say she needs to go, she needs to go. Their opinion in this is what matters, not yours.
I know that has to be tough to swallow, but you need to accept the fact. You can't keep her to yourself when she has a chance at getting a better shot at life and turning the life she has around.
I would really hope you think about this and please, please realize she needs to go. Maybe things will be the same between you two if she comes out, maybe not. But your focus right now should be getting her better, and if the doctors say going to that hospital will help make her better, then she needs to go.
I hope I helped. And I hope you get through this time alright. You have a prayer by me.
-Ryan
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have any of you guys heard of 'aspergers sydrome'? i dunno what it is, and theres a possibility that my little brother has it. its starting to scare me. thanks (link)
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The wikipedia link says it.
I actually was reading about it the other day, it is quite interesting.
It is a mental disorder which functions like autism would, only it is much lighter and not as affecting. It tends to lead to more social discomfort and lack of ability to focus on particular things. But it also allows the person to focus increasingly on one or two certain things that they find very easy, and might develope very good skils for (say for example, math or piano playing or composition).
I wouldn't be scared unless your brother has a more sever form of it.
I am not 100% sure the info above is completely accurate, but recalling from the top of my head I am pretty sure it is. And the wiki link will tell you everything.
I do hope I helped though, and I hope your little brother gets through everything ok.
-Ryan
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I like this boy who is 4 years older than me. I am 13 years old.He has alot of respect for me and everyone else. I think he likes me. Today he gave me a heart from his fingers and was trying to hug me. He is really funny.He doesn't go with anybody.I don't know if I should go with him because of the age difference. Should I go for it or what?
(link)
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You think an attempted hug and a heart from his fingers constitutes him liking you?
I give alot of my friends a hug every day, do I like them? As friends I do, but not as significant others. And you said he doesn't do with anybody.
I'm sorry, but you really have a lack of information right now. Now say if he were to hug just you, then maybe I would raise my eyebrow at it and say maybe, but from you've told me, I get more of a friendship type of deal.
Btw, if you are dead set in your head he likes you, then by all means, go for it. And age doesn't matter anyway, so there really isn't a problem there.
But like I said above, from what you said I get more of a friend type of feel from him to you.
I hope I helped.
-Ryan
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Hello,
I am a 14 year old guy...
...I realized I liked my best friend for the 3rd time around Valentine's Day. So, I told her that I liked her, and she said, "No offense, but you need to get over me,". Well, since then, we've barely said a word to each other. My friends have been trying to get her to say something to me, so she did after I gave her a birthday card. I asked her to talk about what had been going on between us, and she said, and I quote,
"Not to be a beyotch, but I just don't feel like talking to you. I don't think we have the connection we used to have,"
After that, I was so upset. I didn't know what do to... I'm still upset, as she now has a boyfriend who is a complete jerk to me. What should I do??? (link)
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Dude, I've been here before.
It sucks, doesn't it? Real bad.
I will tell you what got me through this, and that is time. Time will eventually heal all things. For me it took me a month of holding in everything to finally tell this girl who was my best friend that I liked her, and after that we were still good (slightly shakey, but good). But then I made the most idiotic mistake and went with some girl who liked me. I hardly even freaking knew her and I soon found out, I was neglecting everyone for her, and I didn't even like her but I thought I did. So after the eventual breakup 3 weeks later, I was right back to my old best friend, who was very hurt at what I did. And it took her getting a boyfriend and to completely turn everything I felt into a muffled emotion, suppressed. I hit alot of walls the night I found out about her and her boyfriend, because he was a complete jerk and ended up breaking her heart, which has earned him my undying vendetta.
Time must run its course if you are to overcome what you feel. Your friendship has deteriorated, much like mine had. All you can do is let time wash over you and wait for the eventual healing.
I would suggest though, that you write about it. I started writing to myself in the third person, like there was a person talking to me. And I wrote about how I shouldn't be feeling the way I do and had to get over it, and I wrote it over and over again, covering every detail. And to the most extent, it worked.
I'm sorry for the long rant and personal story, but I felt it was necessary for you to know so you could understand why I can give you this advice. Any person can say let time heal your heart, but it takes some expierencing it to mean it.
I hope I helped and I sincerly feel for you about this.
-Ryan
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hey fellow advicenators :)
i have a quick school question here.
im looking for the role that Emperor Franz Joseph I in world war I.
i cant seem to find it anywhere! please help. easy 5s. < 3 (link)
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz_Joseph
I find wikipedia has the best resources to find anything. And I found a great deal of info on the man there.
Good luck, and I hope this helps.
-Ryan
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déjeme presentar este para usted .. sí le amo ...what doest that mean in english ?
(link)
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Why couldn't you just find a translator?
Then again, what language is it in? Spanish, French, Swahili?
One can't do well with a jumble of foreign words. Be more specific please, or just run it through a translator yourself, provided you even know the language.
-Ryan
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To make a long story short, I used to drink, a lot. Well after a friend passed away from a drunk driving car wreck, I tried not to, but I still did. Finally, I was able to give up alcohol. Since Thanksgiving I've had not even enough alcohol to fill up a wine glass. I'm proud of myself, especially since I'm 15. The bad thing is, I've started to cut my wrists again. You see, drinking took my mind off my problems, and I know it didn't solve anything, because not only were my problems still there, but I had a headach to go along with them. To try to stop myself from driniking, every time I wanted to have some kind of alcoholic beverage, I'd write a poem instead. It helped at first, it kept my mind of the cravings. But then the cravings just got worse. So I turned back to my old ways of cutting my wrists. I really want to stop, but I don't know any other way to just get out my feelings. Well, I do, it's just that when you're so frustrated, or upset, it's hard to think straight so you do the first thing that comes to mind. It's kind of hard to explain. And I would prefer not being told to talk to anybody, because I have, and I don't just mean talking to friends, I've talked to responsible adults too. After talking, I stop what I'm doing for a little bit, but after a week, or a month, or even two-three months, the stress gets so overwhelming that I start up again, and it's just not something I want to be doing. I know I want to change, it's just hard.
Any advice is appreciated. (link)
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I am going to tell you what you said you don't want to hear.
You do need to talk to someone again. But instead of just talking to them and parting ways, see if you can't go into therapy or a type of rehab. That would do alot more for you than just talking to someone else about all your stress and the issue you have with cutting and drinking, alot more.
Perhaps you could just ignore some of the strss you have? Do something more entertaining and captivating of your time and get your mind off your stress and any negative feelings your feeling. I know it sound weak, but when you actually are putting more focus into something and concentrate on it, your emotions become in tune with what your doing, allowing your other emotions to be temporarily suppressed. It's worth a try if you havn't already.
I really hope this helped you in any way. And I wish you the best of luck with this. You have a prayer from me.
-Ryan
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I was recently with my boyfriend for 5 days straight all alone, and we had sex many many many many times...and we of course knew that there were possibilities of having a baby.
I was wondering if the number of times you have sex in a period of time increases your chance of pregnancy...or if it just doesn't really matter? (link)
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Maybe you should have thought ahead on that one?
You knew the risks, so why don't know your chances? Don't they go hand in hand?
Probability will state that the more you have of something, the better chances you have of getting say the white and blue marbles in a bag (as said below). The more blue you put in, the better chance you will pull another blue out. It was said before, and I am saying it now to you.
Next time, find out everything about sex before you actually have it. Think ahead next time and you don't even have to worry about it.
-Ryan
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my mom used to get drunk. a lot. she only admitted to two of the numerous occassions, and then she started to blame sleeping pills for her "acting weird". she said she'd stop buying wine. she did for maybe 2 months, then started again. the thing is I'M the only one who knows shes drunk! my sister always comes up with excuses (shes defensive) and my mom just denies it. today she bought more wine (she was tipsy before she bought it though) and i asked her to not buy it because she said she wouldnt. she did anyway and so i ignored her, and then she got angry and asked whats wrong and i told her and she started saying crap like "stop acting like your better than me. I am the parent, YOU are the child. you are not better than anyone else. i am the parent. you do not check on me. you are the child." how do i get her to STOP?! (link)
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I would suggest professional help.
If your mom truly cares for you, she will listen. You need to get a professional person involved to try and work this out. And you make sure to bring it up with your mom. Don't be timid about it, make a stand and let her know she needs to stop otherwise nothing will be right.
And I cannot stand it when a parents says they are right on the sole grounds they got lucky pick in the age pool and happen to be older and the parent. That isn't a reason, it's an excuse. She has proven she can't be the responsible one and stop drinking and your sister has proved she can't stand up to actually help her mother. You need to stand up and take charge and get everything together. Let your feelings on this be heard and do not be silenced.
And most certainly, do not run away. That would show you are no better than your mother or sister by just running away and ignoring the problem. Make a stand and let your mother know everything and how you hate her drinking. And do NOT be quiet about it or let her dictate this.
First make your stand, and if your mom won't listen, get some professional help. And if she still won't listen, involve someone higher up to make her listen, and your sister to.
I can't tell you anything else on your other family issues and problems. All I can say is be strong and show perservierance. I will most certainly pray for you and I hope the words I have written, are able to make a difference.
-Ryan
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Okay, well i dont have a bad home and im not severely depressed but i get upset easily and sometimes i do feel depressed. Last night i cut myself 4 the first time...do i need help..am i crazy...i cant tell my parents....what should i do?
plz help (link)
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Well, why can't you tell your parents?
Most people who cut aren't crazy, but they do need help. As said before, it can be addicting. I've had friends before who have cut, and one in particular that did and we made her promise to stop. But then, me and some of her closests friends found out she was doing it again a few months later. You need to just stop now before you do it again. If you are upset over something, then find a safer and more reliable outlet to release your emotions and stress, because cutting will only consume, temporary relief is not permanent.
If you do happen to do it again for any reason, I would most definately tell your parents. If you are doing it without them knowing and they find out, you will be in alot worse trouble than if you just told them. If you tell them, sure it will be weird and there will probably be some emotions, but the end result will be alot better than if they just found out.
Short and sweet, don't do it again and just forget you did it in the first place. Find a better place to put your emotions and stress, and you'll be fine.
I hope this helps and everything gets better!
-Ryan
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last night after dinner my mom told me that she had something to tell me. she told me that she gave birth to me and my identicle twin sister. she told me that she couldnt keep oth of us because she was only 18. she didnt want to give both of us up. so she put my tiwn up for adoption before she was even born. i never knew about this only my mom and my grandma knew. they didnt want to brag about it to anyone. my dad knows about it also(my biological dad, he stayed with my mom through everthing and now theyre married!) so my mom told me that the couple that adopted my twin sister had died in a car accident and my mom was notified. and in their will they didnt give my twin to anyone. all it said was ask jennifer who she wants to live with. so jenny told the lawers that she wanted to live with her biological mom. so the lawyers called my mom and told her and my mom said yes. we get to meet jenny on saturday. im really nervous tho, because i dont know if we're alike or if were different and i dont know what to talk to her about. if anyone can give me advice i would be very happy. also im nervous if shell like hate me because my mom chose to put jenny up for adoption and not me. omg im so scared. (link)
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This is a very unique situation.
Ultimately, I don't think there is gonna be any problems with her coming to live with you. Identical usually means you look the same, but there may be similarity's *such as hair length, body makeup and so forth*.
Just go into your relationship with her like you would a friend. She is your sister after all, so just treat it like that. Be her friend and be her sister and be nothing less. I am sure everything will be fine between you both. Sure it will be awkward at first, but I am sure in the coarse of time you will be just like sisters, and make up for the lost time you both have had away from each other, and the lost time she had away from your mom. Don't be nervous, be happy!
I hope what I said helped, and I hope that your metting goes well with her. Good luck and I am quite sure everything will be fine!
-Ryan
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Okay, I really really really want to have sex with him (a.k.a. my boyfriend) but everytime we are about to "do it", I chicken out.
I don't know why, I guess that it's because I'm a virgin.
But I wish I weren't so scared. And I can never figure
out why I back out.
What should I do? Wait to have sex? Or just hold my
tongue and get it over with?
[p.s.] i'm a female, 16 years old (link)
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Um, if you keep backing out, it is obvious your not ready for it. So, you should probably wait for it. Even though you "really" want to have sex with him, 5/10 I bet that is just your hormones talking. And since your 16, they will do alot of the talking. It's simple.
-Ryan
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what if you start to lose...lost hope, hope in urself, other ppl, just everything.
i can't take it any more, change is happening to me but i can't...WON'T face where its taking me.
i can't do anything about it, in two years im either going to be some terrorist or drunk or even better, dead.
there is nothing to live for, and i can't get myself to just kill myself.
im lost and cannot be saved.
o shit :(... (link)
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And the advicenators columnists are left dazed and confused...
You shouldn't be telling us this, you should be telling your parents, a psychiatrist, or another friends. What can we do? We don't even know why your this way, you didn't even ask for advice, you just rambled on about how your life sucks. We don't know why, and therefore cannot even give a good and valid answer.
If you want to re-edit the question to make it so we can actually help you, then do so, otherwise don't even expect a good response.
-Ryan
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