|
I'm scared to have sex with him.
Okay, I really really really want to have sex with him (a.k.a. my boyfriend) but everytime we are about to "do it", I chicken out.
I don't know why, I guess that it's because I'm a virgin.
But I wish I weren't so scared. And I can never figure
out why I back out.
What should I do? Wait to have sex? Or just hold my
tongue and get it over with?
[p.s.] i'm a female, 16 years old
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
you should try to let him at least penatrate then you will be able to get the sensation of sex and i'm sure you will not tell him to stop. the feeling is incredible and scary thing is it gets better every time if he is the right one. give him a try and you'll know if it is right or not.
]
if you dont trust him enough to tell him that your a vrign you probaply shouldnt be sleeping with him.
]
hey! well, no matter how many other people are doing it, don't do it until you have absolutely no regretting feelings. you want to really really love the person you do it with. and if you do, well i know how you feel. but you need to keep your sanity. even though sex is "everything" it might not be. even though there seems to be a lot of people doing it, there is also a lot of people who dont. it just depends on who your talking to. xoxo helpachick
]
I know exactly how you feel, I went through the same thing. Listen it sounds like you have a pretty good boyfriend because he has stayed with you regardless of sex, thats great. Now theres alot of things to think of. I remeber I was about to do it like 3 times and I just couldnt go threw with it. I was scared that it would really hurt, and I just got all nervous and tense. I lost it to my boyfriend when I was ready and it didnt hurt at all, I have alot of advice I could give you so it wont hurt if you want to know just tell me in the feedback section(to get to it you rate the answer I gave you and there will be a little comment thing on the bottom). If you do decide to do it I have to say this DO NOT DO IT IF YOU ARE TENSE, if you do, it will most likely hurt. Make sure you love and trust your boyfriend, and he probably knows that you are a virgin if you backed out at the last second before, you really should tell him before you do anything though.
]
I honestly don't understand why everyone is sugguesting to "just do it" or "start slowly" to you. You are very young. Right now, you're at the age where the risk is highest for you to get STDs. You may think you're ready for this, but in truths you may not be. You say that sex is everything where you live, so that definitely has something to do with it. I mean, you obviously feel odd because you haven't done it yet but everyone else has. It's kind of like that thing, "Would you jump off a bridge if all of your friends were doing it?" Just because everyone you know is doing something, doesn't mean you have to too. Obviously if you haven't done it yet, you are not ready, but you are not letting yourself believe it.
Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you are a virgin. tell him your feelings, tell him you want to wait a while, and ask him how he feels about it. If he really loves you, he will stay with you, and you have to trust me on this. He has put up with you backing out of doing it, he will be able to put up with postponing it, I'm sure of it. And don't feel bad for backing out of it. You are a smart girl, and I'd hate to see someone like you make a bad decision and end up with regrets the rest of their life.
Respect your body and self, no matter what anyone says.
xo Johanna
]
I believe that you aren't ready, you may think that you are, but the facts are you just aren't ready. I think that you should wait. I know you may want to have sex with him,or maybe just to keep him, or so you could say," yeah me and my boyfriend shared something special, but I think that you should wait.
TANIQUA
]
You shouldn't just jump into sex...meaning start small. Since you're ready, but just worried about pain or bleeding, try other things to prepare your body for sex first. You can do them alone (masturbation) or you can do them with your boyfriend (manual sex aka. have him finger you). This will help...stretch you out...and lessen the chances or degree of pain or bleeding when you do have sex. Make sure you use an effective form of protection too. Maybe even two! Good luck!
]
Well i think if your not ready i would wait. And just because everyone else does it doesn't mean you have to also. Its not kool. So i would wait until youre ready. But thats just me..
good luck
]
Never ever hold your tongue! I know you've heard it before, but your words hold a lot of power and has INFLUENCE. You can stop something from happening and you can give consent to it.
There are girls who think about whether or not they should have sex with their boyfriends for about a minute and then decide they should just because all their friends are doing. Unfortunately, I made that same mistake. It's showing a lot that you think about it in terms of yourself rather than what others think.
Whenever you are doubtful, follow your instincts and your decisions are going to be the right ones. You have a lot to lose and just weigh it in with what you have to gain.
And, you aren't scared, your minds just telling you that you aren't prepared for it yet. (I mean it's going to be a whole new experience.) Pay attention to the numerous times it tries to stop you.
Your decision should be your own, however I can tell you that for your first time, you won't be holding your tongue more than you will be biting on it.
EDIT: Pain and bleeding are natural for your first time. If you feel like you're ready then try it slowly. You can stop anytime. It would help if your boyfriend knew that you were a virgin. It helps to have someone guide you through it.
]
It sounds like your not ready for it sweetie..
Don`t push yourself into doing this..
So i do think waiting would be the best thing to do..You`ll know when the time is right..And obvious this isn`t the time..
♥Dez
]
Um, if you keep backing out, it is obvious your not ready for it. So, you should probably wait for it. Even though you "really" want to have sex with him, 5/10 I bet that is just your hormones talking. And since your 16, they will do alot of the talking. It's simple.
-Ryan
]
To me is seems like you're in a major hurry to have sex and just because you want to, doesn't really seem that you're ready. If you chicken out, you really aren't ready to do that. It's fine though. There is plenty of time so just relax. Once you are ready to have sex, you'll know it and it will happen. Don't be in a hurry though.
]
More Questions: |