advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: So lately my friend has become really close with a girl from her work. She hasn't blown me off for her, but she's postponed our plans a few hours later several times lately. And while doing this, she was arranging plans with the other girl, although she's not aware that I know this.
Today, we were hanging out and she informed that she needed to be home early because she had college work to do. So an hour after I find out that she's at her house. I can't help by being slightly offended by this and I'm wondering if I should confront her?
Don't you hate it when girls get clicky like this? We all do it at one point or another, but it always hurts someone. You should definitely say something to her since she is your good friend. Let her know that it hurts your feelings to be shoved aside so much more lately. She might be a little offended first, but hopefully she'll see your side if you really tell her how you feel. Maybe you could offer to hang out with her and her other friend from work too, to create a larger group and that way time doesn't have to be split between anyone :)

Q: What is the best pain killer for hangovers?

Thanks! :)
like someone else has already said, excedrin seems the best. usually take two if it is really bad haha
xoxo helpachick

Q: My gifriend and i are thinking about having sex
were both virgins both 16 and im worried because ive got a small penis and im a bit worried that i wont be any good or satisfy her can you please a girl with a small penis?
the saying that size matters really means nothing. If it is your girlfriend's first time too, it would hurt more if you were bigger. A smaller size can be just as satisfying for a girl, even though it really doesn't even become an issue if you both care about each other :)
xoxo helpachick

Q: How much does this boy like me? (im a female and 14)
1. Helps me with anything i need (serisouly) he's even covered the heater thats next to me in science bcz i said i was freezing
2. Has geuinely thanked me for coming to his soccer game and watching him
3. Holds the door open for me and walks down the hallway with me (even though we dont say anything) its kind of cool :)
4. Laughs (nicely) when he pulls out a pic of me and friends acting like losers from my backpack. he looks in my backpack all the time and finds that picture
5. (most important) but hes shy :(

looking at #1-4, i'd say that this guy definitely likes you! however, since he's shy he just can't show it off as much. He also is probably afraid that maybe you don't like him back, or that he might scare you away if he tried to be more outgoing. If you like him back, you should make it a mission to talk to him more, and show a little flirtiness and thankfullness towards the things he says/does for you!
xoxo helpachick

Q: Alright well Im 15 and I drink and smoke. Well I have had sex with 12 people already. A few of them I really liked and most of them I was drunk. And I know thats not an excuse. But Ive been fucked over so many times by guys. Like I dont have any emotions anymore. But I can like name all of tthe people I did have sex with. But I still feel like im a slut and I dont want to be a slut or feel like one. Most of the time when im in a relationship I feel like I have to have sex with them. Or they keep bugging/begging me and I cave in sometimes. So Idk what to do.
yes, most people would classify you as a slut...but then again, most people like to classify any girl they can as a slut. its mostly because the girl's getting some and the person doing the name calling is jealous. either way though, you CAN start to prevent this from happening so much. you're probably right in saying that you have given yourself a reputation, and most guys probably want to 'date' you because they think they know that you'll put out. so if i were you i'd start by dating someone, and if they start hinting or wanting sex, just telling them no. this will send some guys walking straight away because you won't give it to them, but then that isn't really a guy any girl wants for an actual relationship. Hold out by not having sex with your guy for a while and see how each of you deal with this.
xoxo helpachick

Q: Ok, not really, but 18 and the other day i was at work and one of my friends came in with some of his friends.
i'd never seen them before, but from the second i started talking to them, i had the BIGGEST connection with one of them.
ok so im in to the bad boys, with tattoos, big trucks...ect..
but this guy i met is way different, he's so adorable, in a christian band, sweet as hell...!
anyways, when i got off work, we all hung out for like 3 hours...and me and him flirted so much, and we got each others numbers...
then i find out he has a gf, of like a month, who happens to be in my grade, and way ugly :( anyways he called me last night, and we talk on myspace lol and he really wants to hang out!
...i seriously cant stop thinking about him!!
and he's so different from what i normaly go for, and he's 18 also.
so...what shall i do about this gf???
i dont want to sound like a bitch but, i really want him, and honestly i dont care what it takes to get advice?????????
THANX!!! :)
well, not to put a damper on your mood but you really shouldnt start out being 'the other woman.' next time he asks you to hang out or you get on the topic, you need to tell him straight out that you don't want to hang out unless he doesnt have a girlfriend. This would tell him that you don't want some other girl to be mad at you, and that you don't want his girl to be mad at him. If he really likes you too, then maybe he'll realize that he can't have his girlfriend and be flirtin it up with you, and he'll have to choose the better end of the deal ;)
xoxo helpachick

Q: 15/f
Okay here's the 'deal'
I'm home schooled and have been my whole life.
I'm not dumb or anything but when It comes down to dating I'm not too 'lucky' with guys, I guess because I don't go to the same school as they do? blahblahblah and I feel like it's like I'll NEVER get a boyfriend because I'm homeschooled, I don't want that, I deff don't want to be loney forever-
It doesnt feel that great:/ Like seriously everyone I know has boyfriends/girlfriends and I'm the only one who doesnt because I'm not in a "real" school. This isn't gonna happen forever will it?

ahhhhh I'm going crazy
go out with your friends more. when you do this, you'll sooner or later meet some friends of your friends. this is a good thing because not only do you most likely meet new friends, maybe you'll be able to meet a new-more-than-friend. This happened to me about two years ago. even though i go to a public school i live in a smaller town so i know pretty much everybody. but i was with my best friend and she has a brother a year older than me. He had his friend over from a school just a few minutes away and we got to know eachother and became friends until just recently and we finally started dating.
so go out with friends more, and who knows, maybe you already know someone that's perfect for you...and you just havent noticed yet!
xoxo helpachick

Q: im 13/f
i just started high school this year and my old friends went to different schools, so i've alot of new friends.
the thing is last year this girl was 'supposed' to be my best friend but all she did was bitch about me behind my back and she kept ditching me,but i sicked up to her, and i only realised how mean she was this year.
So it was good that she went to another school with my other friends, except that she keeps calling me, pretending we're still friends--whcih we're not.
idk if i should keep ringing her cos otherwise i might look like the bitch
not her
hey! your exact question is kind of confusing...but i have one answer. Stop talking to her. if she calls you can just say something about how you and your awesome friends are busy and you have to go, or other things that you may (or may not) be busy with. Lying usually isn't good, but in this case it will get her to, in the long run, stop calling you. If you keep saying that you can't talk for so many times, eventually she should stop wanting to call you and talk. This would probably be the best thing because then she wouldn't have talked to you, and therefore have nothing on you to talk to other people about:)

Q: i have a dance this saturday and i have NOTHING to wear the theme is retro romance so basically lik 60's or 80's IDK!
my school just had an 80's day for our winter this is deffinitly fresh in my mind haha.
mostly girls wore like some kind of skirt with leggings underneath.
then a shirt that covered one shoulder and dropped off the other.
you can cut shirts to make this work

p.s. wear bright colors

Q: I recently purchased this dress ( in a dark teal color for a football banquet i am attending with my boyfriend on the 27th,
the problem, i cant find any heels that i like.

I was wondering if anyone would have any suggestions or general ideas as to why type of heels would go best with this dress.

Also, I was leaning towards the color silver, considering that's what my jewelry will be, and i cant think of another matching color with the dress.
---the third one on the top row
---this in my opinion would be adorable w/ that style of dress
---if u want something w/ not such a tall heel

---cute dress by the way!
hope i helped
xoxo helpachick

Q: so this may be an immature question but when a guy fingers a girl does he go all the way into the vagina or just around the outside?
usually either/both. but if he goes all the way in and it hurts you (it might the first couple times) dont be afriad to tell him that it hurts or something. he should understand and pull his finger out a little bit. good careful..have fun.
xoxo helpachick

Q: 15/m
well my best friend christopher and i have made a bet that we will both have girlfriends by halloween. well our high school football season is coming up (we go to an all-guys school) and it's basically where all the girls go to meet guys, plus mixer season is coming up too so that will help. but does anyone have any advice for me? i'm not just trying to get a girlfriend for the sake of getting a girlfriend, if that's what you're thinking. i am actually looking for a good relationship! i just wanted some help!

just be yourself and have a good time. just act like you do around your friends. also be sweet and joke around. be funny girls like that give them a hard time but in a flirtatious way. make sure you go up and talk to them though, dont wait for them to come to you first.
xoxo helpachick


I have been dating my girlfriend Caitlyn for two years in October. She is the most amazing girl i have ever met and about 7 months ago i gave her a promise ring and i know Cait is the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with. Sometimes we get into little fights and blow them way out of proportion. About a month ago we had one of these fights and she wouldn't come to a party with me that night. At that party, i got pretty drunk and slept with a girl from another school. I didn't tell her about it and everything seemed like it was fine until this girl i slept with showed up at my baseball game and just so happens to sit down next to Cait and her best friend without knowing it was them. They start talking and pretty soon Becca, the girl from the party, has to go so she asks my girl friend if she could give me a ring back that i had left at her house (the promise rings we gave each other. i guess i left it there that night) of course my girlfriend gets curious why this girl has my ring and so she asks becca about it and she told her the whole thing. After the game Cait brought the ring up to me and said that my "little friend Becca" thought i would want it back and asked her to give it to me. I was totallly shocked and had no idea even what to say. Cait broke it off right then and there. I need to find some way to make it up to her. She is the love of my life and i totally regret what i did but she won't even talk to me which is really awkward since i am at her house all the time since her brothers are my best friends and her dad is my football coach. How can i get her back?
ok im going to tell you right off the bat what you did was at the top of any girls lists of "jerk things to do".
but enough of that, and more of what you should do

she's obviously going to be mad for a while, but try giving her some space because thats really most likely what she feels that she needs from you: space.
so just say little things to her to have her know you are still there but dont push it too much. after a while if she still doesnt respond (which will most likely be yes&no's.) then you'll just have to do something really sweet to tell her you want her back. what that is will have to come from your heart and be really personal...something between the two of you that will make her feel so loved. however there's no garuntees that she will forgive you even at that because you did hurt her. but its worth a try and if she doesnt forgive you make her know how sorry you are (which you should be doing now anyways) and just try to be her friend.
theres really not a lot i can tell you to do, just do things for her that come from your heart and maybe you can win her back over since she always loved you before and you are still the same person. make her see that:)
xoxo helpachick

Q: ok. when i first started my period it use to last on average 5 days. and recently it has only been 2-3 days. is this bad? how long does yours usually last?
i havent had sex or anything like that so that wont be the cause. and im not on birth control. i havent changed anything either and this has been happening for about the last 5 periods.
oh dont worry, this is completely normal! 3-7 days is the normal range for any of them to go, so your doing alright. this happens to me especially during the summer or any time im in sports. getting out there and doing a lot of physical activity makes it go away this may be the cause for you. if not dont worry becuase your body might be evening out and two to three days will be the normal time span for yours
-lucky you!!
hope i helped
xoxo helpachick

Q: I've had mono for almost 2 months. I've been feeling a lot better in the past month or so & haven't had too many problems. For some reason, this past week I've been extremely tired body wise. I'm sore, my spleen is still a bit tender, but not as bad & going for a walk is like running a marathon. Its all really random. My joints are stiff & sore, my body is exhausted, I sleep easily, my spleen swells up, etc. The swelling hasn't been as bad though. What's going on?? I thought a few weeks ago I was so much better & improving, but now that its closer to the 2 months, I seem to be more tired. Any opinions?? Thanks!!
a couple of my friends have had mono and they had this problem too. one of them's docotor actually told him though that this is supposed to happen.
the 'sideaffects' i guess of mono is that you get fatique (tired easily) and from what i understand this can last for a few months after you get over mono. but it gets better and better as time goes on. so just dont overdo yourself and get full nights rest to help yourself out a little bit!
xoxo helpachick

Q: is facebook getting shut down?
i guess i cant really tell you for sure but im guessing no it probably is not.
becuase (if your a hotmail user) they always have these forwards going around saying send this to so many people or else it will shut down and with msn too. and so im guessing this thing with facebook is just another one of those annoying deals.
xoxo helpachick

Q: i'm in need of a couple paticular songs.

1. a song about how being in love is the most wonderful, UNDESCRIBEABLE feeling, or loving someone so much you can't put it into words.

2. a graduation song. i can't use the vitamin c one, "time of your life" by green day, or "stop this train" by john mayer, because they've all been used in recent years.

help anyone? i'll listen to basically anything but screamo or rap or hard metal stuff. but post anything. and i don't want something you've looked up on google. just things you know of will do. thanks (:
love song: i love you by martina mcbride
it just comes natural by george strait
how do i live without you by leann ryhmes
once in a lifetime by keith urban
graduation song: my wish by rascal flatts {they played that at our graduation this fit really good}

xoxo helpachick

Q: If I had to pick my 5 best features, I think they would be this:

(in NO particular order)
1) hair
2) stomach
3) eyes
4) legs
5) hands. (lol)

1. My hair is brown and curly, I can straighten it!!

2. I gues im pretty slim.

3. My eyes are dark green with dark blue around the outside.

4. I have slim legs.

5. Idk I like my hands they are cool lol

links are always appreciated.

Love yahhh! hahaha

1. [for your hair] wear it both straightened and curly. on 'curly days' be sure to use some sort of curling gel to style it, and to make sure your hair doesnt frizz later on in the day. on 'straightened days' its pretty obvious, straighten your sure to get everything in the back too!

2. [slimness] this is deffinitly an advantage in the world of fashion today. to show off the figure you have, try wearing longer shirts that are tighter.

3. [green&blue eyes] with such cool sounding eyes, you need to define them and bring them out. try wearing skin colors of eyeshadow, and if you are more daring with your styles, you can wear the green&blue crazy colors as long as you do them right. (just look in any seventeen magazine) also!! for defining, line your eyes with eyeliner. knowing your haircolor, im guessing you would need a darkened brown (it looks black) but if you are lighter complected, get a lighter color. darker, vice versa

4. [legs] with slim legs, you can easliy wear many types of pants. you can wear tight jeans really well, they show off your legs. skirts also look good on slim legs but if your really tall, make sure the skirt doesnt make you look like you have stilts as legs...some of the make you look that way.

5. and as for your hands, well...i cant really tell you just love them i guess haha.

xoxo helpachick

Q: I read somewhere that your period stops when you are in the water? I have a very light period, so will this be true? I HATE using tampons because theyy hurt((hence my other question)) so I am just wondering if this is true or not.
i've found this to be true, yes.
but if you are afraid of it not stopping in the water or something, you can always use a pantyliner and make sure its not sticking out of your swimsuit anywhere. it should stick pretty well, as long as your not doing hard swimming like swimteam and stuff. after you get out of the water, be sure to get clothes on asap, and if possible a pad too.
xoxo helpachick

Q: The only web sites I really go to are advicenators, myspace, addictinggames, and facebook.

What are your favorite web sites? What are good web sites for funny videos, jokes, and pictures? What are good game web sites?

I know there's like 578294578239475283 web sites out there, but I want to find some good ones.
some i like are [its got some good music in the audio portal] [fun quizzes] [look up anything and find some pretty crazy/funny videos] >>>go to games. [just another myspace site]
xoxo helpachick

hey im helpachick & i want to help you if i can. more than most of the questions i answer i have experienced something close to that myself. so feel free to ask&leave stuff in my inbox or whatever, and i'll try to get back soonish.

what about me?
I'm in college majoring in Fashion Textiles and Merchandising. I love fashion, boys, my friends, music, and love being active and outdoors. theres a lot more i could put about me but this is advicenators not myspace!!
ask away^.^




Member Since:
October 21, 2005


Last Update:
October 14, 2010


Main Categories:

Favorite Columnists

layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker