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Am I a slut?
Alright well Im 15 and I drink and smoke. Well I have had sex with 12 people already. A few of them I really liked and most of them I was drunk. And I know thats not an excuse. But Ive been fucked over so many times by guys. Like I dont have any emotions anymore. But I can like name all of tthe people I did have sex with. But I still feel like im a slut and I dont want to be a slut or feel like one. Most of the time when im in a relationship I feel like I have to have sex with them. Or they keep bugging/begging me and I cave in sometimes. So Idk what to do.
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yes, most people would classify you as a slut...but then again, most people like to classify any girl they can as a slut. its mostly because the girl's getting some and the person doing the name calling is jealous. either way though, you CAN start to prevent this from happening so much. you're probably right in saying that you have given yourself a reputation, and most guys probably want to 'date' you because they think they know that you'll put out. so if i were you i'd start by dating someone, and if they start hinting or wanting sex, just telling them no. this will send some guys walking straight away because you won't give it to them, but then that isn't really a guy any girl wants for an actual relationship. Hold out by not having sex with your guy for a while and see how each of you deal with this.
xoxo helpachick
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you don't want to be that way, you need to make the decision to change it. you need to work on growing your self-esteem. no girl needs a guy or sex to define them. take this opportunity to learn about yourself and know what you want and don't want. It is not bad to like sex but you don't need to give any guy any part of you.
Please learn about yourself, It kills me when I think of a girl (especially your age)thinking the way you do. never ever ever let anyone or anything define you...you define yourself!
hope I helped...if you decide to take my advice but need more just ask!
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Truthfully actions speak louder then words. From what you are saying you really are coming off as a slut. I'm sorry I know that sounds really mean, but on the plus side I can help you fix this.
Okay, first and foremost you do not have to have sex with anyone whether you are in a relationship or not. That being said if you want to stop then tell the next person you are with, that you are done. You are done trashing your repuation and hurting yourself.
Honestly, you are headed down such a dangerous, destructive path, and for you to get back on the right one, please stop having sex until you are totally ready for it and want it.
And please get yourself away from smoking and drinking. This is causing you behavior to become incredibly destructive. I know that may not be what you want to hear but you need to. The reason you have no emotion is because you are losing who you are by being something your not. I know you can do better then being a slut, drinking and smoking, I don't even have to meet you to tell you that one.
So my advice: look for ways to build yourself up, always think something positive about yourself. And please seek counseling about the drinking and smoking, if you are not able to stop cold turkey. B/c honestly when you quit that, I belive you will be able to stand on your own 2 feet. And next time you think your a slut, remind yourself that that was the old you and you can change it, use a brand new day to make a fresh start.
I believe in you, have faith in yourself b/c honestly, you are so much better then this, and the sooner you see it, the better.
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ADVICE
My personal opinion on this is that you are to young to be this sexually active. Your being careless with you actions for what ever reason. You are taking risks with every guy you choose to be with. Drinking and smoking at your age? How do your parents not know or relize whats going on. Your on a self destruction path and fast. Every guy you are with drunk or willing may have an STD or worse. What if you got pregnant? I know you said you have been hurt by guys. Feeling like you have to be sexual with a guy to keep them, or even doing it just because. You are allowing yourself to be used and putting walls up, along with lashing out.
Low self esteem and self worth means alot when it comes to how you view yourself personally. If you view yourself as worthless or that you dont deserve happiness, you will continue to self destruct. You have to love yourself and not only demmand better for yourself, but from others who might care about you. Dont allow others to use you and discard you. Nor should you be this way with anyone else.
I really dont know how your parents are, but the fact that they dont seem aware of your behavior is some concern to me.
Why do you feel the need to drink and smoke?
What drives you into any guys arms?
These are questions you can only figure out for yourself. Seeing how your actions are and comming here to ask for some advice is a big stop.
Dont throw your life away based on what other people want or need. You should love yourself and be concerned about you and what you need to get past this point in your life.
I dont know how your parents might react but talking to them and explaining some things going on with you right now, might be a good idea.
Counceling, even family counceling might also help. I say this because sometimes we really dont understand why we are doing the things we do.
A deeper more emotional issue, is harder to work through on your own.
I suggest backing away from all the negative things you are doing in your life right now. The smoking, drinking and other activities you mentioned. Stop doing that so you can clear your head, and dive deeper into why, you might be out to hurt yourself.
We all get hurt, we all get used or taken advantage of. It does not mean we have to become what we did not like in the frist place. To be just like someone else, means you gave up on yourself. Becomming like others whom have hurt you, makes you no differant.
You have to learn from all mistakes, to move forward and move on. Have the strength to stand on your own. Speak up, when someone is bothering you. Tell someone no way, when you know you are about to be used. You get back, what you put into anything in your life. IN other words if you dont mind being with someone who treats you like dirt, because you will do the same. Then you are getting back what you put into it. If you treat someone well and are open with them, you should exspect the same in return. If you have done this and that person proves not to be that way, then you dont hang out with them. Getting back wht you put in. That is how that works.
I am not trying to be mean in anyway here. But you do not have a bright future ahead of you, if you continue to be this way. You need to start turning it around now, since you have already taken the frist step by comming here.
I am a click away if you ever feel the need to talk again. Just leave a question or update in my inbox.
You do deserve happiness dont ever feel like you do NOT. Happiness does not come easy for all of us, but its sure worth the fight. Start loving yourself, and know that you deserve to be happy, and you will be happy one day soon enough.
Take a deep breath and remember to take it onedayatatime
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It sounds like you aren't happy with what you are doing. You are starting to see how drinking and sleeping around will really make you feel. Now is a good time for you to take a break. It's time to date yourself. Right now other than your parents you love yourself more than anyone else does. So love yourself like you deserve to be loved! Really pretend like you are dating yourself. (Don't tell any one that though of course.) Do the things with yourself that you would usually do with a boyfriend like go do fun things. Get to know yourself better. Really think about what kinds of things you like and things you want to do that you have never done before. I'm telling you this because it sounds like you are not taking care of yourself. When things in your life get crazy like that it's time to find out why its going that way and fix it so you can get better. You are your own best friend so take care of yourself like a best friend would.
I would try not to be in a relationship for a while since you know you wind up doing things you don't want to do. Try not to go to the places that make you want to drink and have sex. Find someone who you really look up to and who other people look up to and hang around with them. Find the things you like about them and do those things. Before you know it you'll be someone you are proud of and who the nicest guys want to follow around all day.
It sounds hard but remember, "There's nothing to it but to do it."
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In short:
If you don't want to be a slut then stop acting like one.
Anyone who pressures you for sex should basically be told to piss off.
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