I'm Johanna. I'll Come and Go. What can I say? I try.

One thing I LOVE to do is to analyze dreams. Just tell me about a dream you had, and I'll help you understand what it means. :)


you say you analyze dreams?? then i need you right now...okay to give a lil background--i like this guy and i told him that and he said he was gay (which was a lie) and it took me forever to get over him which was like four days ago--well like two days ago he starts smiling and staring at me and being all courteous----so my dream...my friends and me were all huddled up and this girl, like the premo girl at our school, said "i stink" and walked off,,then this guy danny who is the guy i like (drew) best friend...well he walks away and the premo girl comes back and she like seriously stunk horriblly!! and this girl tanya was all like well lets ask drew,,and my friends who know what happened said no dont, but she didnt listen cause she didnt know. and he comes over there right next to me and she says "drew i stink. how do i know how bad it is?" and i was like getting ready to puke cause she stunk so bad. but he like put out his arm right in front of my face and put his hand on my shoulder..like my face was in his sweatshirt sleeve. and he looked back at me then started talking to her. And like all of these other girls like come up and take his arm mostly my friends, but my one friend who i found out likes him just like thursday wasnt on his arm...it was me and like 4 other girls...but i started saying get off and like one by one they would fly off of his arm. and we fell down and it was just me and him and i heard someone else (cause it wasnt his voice) saying "no i never wanna see your face outside again"...then i woke up.....can you help me analyze it please?? sorry its so long but its a dream ya know....

That's definitely an interesting dream...Is the premo girl someone you don't like? That would make sense to why she stunk in your dream. I think this dream has to do with self confidence. Drew sounds like he's a very well liked person and it sounds like many girls are fighting for his love. I think the part where he put his hand on your shoulder, means that he might have some feelings for you, but he's unsure of how to handle them right now. In your dream, it might have meant that he was saying you're special or different than all the other girls. (Which is probably true!) I think in your dream, you realized that you have a lot to offer a guy and that's why you sort of made the other girls "fly" off. You probably still have feelings for him, and maybe this dream is your sub concious realizing that you are not quite over him yet. So let me tell you this- you do have a lot to offer a guy and you should have confidence in yourself, like you had in your dream, except in real life. If Drew isn't interested, there are many other fish in the sea!


so me and my boyfriend and whole bunch of other people are going to the fair this weekend, and i want to kiss him. we have been going out for a month now. how do i go for a kiss though, i mean really. just be like BABY LETS KISS? haha. im joking. but really, how do i go in for a kiss?

Just look him in the eyes when you two are alone and slowly move in closer to him. He should get the point. And if he doesn't, say, "Are you going to kiss me or what?" That's a nice way of saying, "Kiss me stupid!" LOL.


ok... I have this boyfriend, we were together since December 20,2003. We had our first baby together. but we argue alot. I'm starting to really like this other guy who seems to be nicer then my boyfriend. I like this other guy more then my boyfriend, but i'm scared that if i leave my boyfriend and this other guy might turn out to be not what i expected. what should i do?? what would you do??

I would try to work things out with your boyfriend. You had a baby together- which means you each have a responsibility as a parent. And the best thing for your child is if you two stick together. (For now.) Kids who have a mother and a father (or at least a mother figure and father figure) usually grow up to be more well rounded. Keep in mind that whenever there are children involved, whenever there is a long term relationship involved, there WILL be arguments, and you can't run away from them. Healthy couples DO argue. I'm not sure the circumstances, but I would try to talk to your boyfriend. If you loved him enough to have a child with him, I'm sure you guys can work things out. As for the other guy you like, try to get to know him a little better. Maybe just start out being friends. (But definitely don't see him secretly behind your boyfriend's back.) Maybe he could be a mutual friend. Once you get to know him better, you'll know what you want to do. It's best to wait and see because you're right- he might not be what you expected. But then again, he might! Also make sure to find out if your child could fit into his life, if you should ever break up with your boyfriend and want to date the other guy.


I'm pretty sure what I experienced was a wet dream. I mean, I did have a rather "interesting" dream and I woke up from having orgasm. I'm 16 though and a female. I thought males could only have these.. ?

I think girls can have them too. I'm not sure if I've ever woken up having an orgasm, but I've definitely woke up feeling "turned on" after an "interesting" dream I had as well. Lol! So yes, I think it is possible especially if you are going through puberty.


I know that to lose weight you can decrease your amount of calories. What if someone only ate 1000 calories a day, but had 50+ g of fat?? Would they gain weight or lose weight?? That is just an example. I'm just not sure how it works. Should you be more concerned about your calorie intake or your daily grams of fat?? Thanks!!

I'd be more concerned about fat. Calories are a source of energy and you NEED them. Unused calories can possibly turn into fat. But fat is FAT. It can be used for energy as well, but usually it gets stored somewhere on your body first. I don't really think you have to worry about fat vs. calories because most foods that are very high in calories are high in fat too. (Example: Pizza) Most general nutrition plans recommend between 55-70 grams of fat per day.

Here are some links that may help you:





Hey! There is a strike in my school district and the students are striking back! Monday, if we're not back in school, some of the students are showing up and striking too! Basically this has nothing to do with us and we dont like being involved and punished for something that has nothing to do with us! They are taking all of our breaks (including christmas! we actually have school on Christmas EVE!!!) and snow days and summer will be shorter, ect. 200+ students did a walkout duirng 4th pd on the last day becfore the strike so I know we can do it! But my questions are first has nayone done something like this before? 2nd Tips/suggestions/ideas more the better
Thanks sooo much!
PS i already have asked some of my friends and i know they're coming but how do i get EVERYONE involved? Im not at school so I don't know how many people are coming really. (there are 800 kids in my grade alone!)
Thanks again and i will rate helpful suggestions/ideas and all that!

I did something like this when the school accused me of having drugs, when I really didn't. They searched me, interrogated me, and gave me a drug test. (which PROVED I was NOT doing drugs.) For a week or so, my friends wore signs that said, "Johanna is Innocent." (That was more of a joke- lol.) But I refused to come to school for a few days. Then, I learned that, you really can't fight the school like that. So instead, we wrote letters to the superintendent, board of education, and school alumni.

I think what you're doing is great. But beware- you can get into a lot of trouble for it. (I know that from experience.) I would suggest writing letters to the superintendent, board of education, and the school district about it. See if you can get tons of people to write a letter. BETTER YET- get your parents to complain to the school district. Parents really do have more power in this situation than you, because they are adults and they are the ones actually paying school taxes. But, you can help too! Write letters, create buttons with slogans and wear them, make signs and hang them up. Walk outs are okay, but again, they can get you in trouble. And to spread the word, try contacting people over the internet. (EX: myspace). Don't worry- I'm sure news will get around.


When getting braces do they hurt when they are putting them on or does it only hurt after they are done putting them on? Also would they pull any teeth or would they be able to fix anything teeth that is out of place depending on how far back it is?

No, it doesn't hurt when they put them on.
Yes, your mouth may be sore for a few days after.
Take some pain killers (Ibuprofen recommended) and you should be ok.
It shouldn't hurt that much, and if it does, go back
to the orthodontist and ask them to loosen it up.
You should meet with an orthodontist and discuss your questions,
they will tell you if you need to get any baby teeth pulled.
Then if you do, they will send you to an oral surgeon.
(And that's not even that bad)
They will definitely be able to fix teeth that are out of place,
my teeth are very straight, but I have lots of problems
with them being reversed, out of place, not coming up,
so trust me, your teeth are probably fixable.


I managed to gain 5 pounds whether it was from the pill or not. So now I'm 95 pounds. I'm 16, 5'1 with a very high metabolism. No eating disorders. I'm a health freak, no junk food, soda, blah blah. But I look a bit preggo, if you know what I mean.

What are some exercises [websites, pictures?] I could do at home to give me a flatter stomach? Any other exercises too since I don't have PE. I would also like to try Yoga, but I can't afford to go out buying videos. I don't want to lose weight, more like gain but keep a flat stomach and gain back the flexibility I had 2 years ago. I can't fit running in my schedule right now though.

Any tips, etc?

Running won't work. Any cardio exercises aren't going to flatten your stomach. You need to do situps. Maybe you could get the ab lounge? it works very well! if not, regular situps on the floor every night or every other night will work fine!


I am looking for advice on a rape victim, keep the kid or not?


Really, it's not the child's fault, they didn't ask to be killed because they were concieved wrong right?
But then again, having the kid will be a daily reminder, and ruin her future.


Thank you for the time!

I would probably get an abortion because I am Pro-choice ESPECIALLY in cases of rape. Some people may say they would keep the baby even if they were raped, but many of those people have not actually been raped and they have a hard time understanding how horrible it is. YOU didn't want the baby, YOU did not make the choice to have sex, so why should you have to keep the baby even if it wasn't his/her fault? 16 is very young, and most girls are certainly not ready to be a mother at that age. You have to think logically. Would you be able to get by financially? Would you and your kid be OK with not having a father around? Or would you actually want to see your rapist again so he could spend time with his daughter? Not a good idea. Whatever you do, there is a BIG chance that this kid's life is going to be screwed up. So you can either get an abortion OR if you absolutely can't do that, have the child, then put him or her up for adoption. They may actually be able to have a normal life with a mother and a father, but you could still probably visit him or her. If you didn't want the baby in the first place, and you were raped, I see no reason why you should feel like you HAVE to raise this child.


Ok I'm a plus size girl, and although I'd love to be skinnier I'm totally ok with my size. I have an amazing fashion sense when it comes to skinny girls, but I can't seem to find any amazing things for me, and I need help! My sweet 16 is coming up and I want to look insanely wonderful for it. Better than anyone else there. It's not a formal party, and im encouraging people to wear jeans and flats or whatever. It is at night time if that matters. I love fashion, I just need some help finding stuff for me. Websites with examples of cute stuff would make me love you. Thanks in advance!

Good for you! I love to see plus size girls that aren't afraid to show off their bodies! You definitely can look hot even if you're not a size 0! Some websites I would suggest are:

Torrid.com (It's a whole store for plus sizes, and no matter what your style, you can find something there.)

Hottopic.com (Though many people consider them a "gothic" store, that's not the only kind of clothes they have! They have a lot of plus sizes, and cute stuff that isn't black, if you don't like that kind of stuff.)

Macys.com (There is a plus size section there too- one thing that's really popular are flowy, tunic, tops. They're the kind of things that just flow out at the bottom of the shirt, so there's no worrying about a shirt being too tight.)

I think something really cute to wear would be skinny jeans (Yes, you CAN wear them if you want! Or if you don't feel comfortable in them, try a dark pair (try navy or black) of regular jeans. Pair that with one of those tunic tops, and I'm sure you'll look great! You could also try a casual dress. Have you heard of an A-line dress or an empire waist dress? I think they look beautiful on fuller women. You could even add a cinched belt for an added effect! Hope I helped!


hi. how much damage can a box of cigarettes do to your body? just a box? to be more specific, 10 sovereign. if i were to smoke them and never smoke another cigarette, how much damage? thanks

I can't give you an exact amount of damage it would do to your body. It really depends on the time period you are going to smoke them over. For example, if you smoke them all in one day...that probably can't be too good especially if you're a first time smoker. However, smoking them over maybe a week...they can still definitely do damage. They might bother your allergies, it could possibly trigger a little bit of asthma, but nothing too serious.

The most damage smoking those cigarettes would do to you is causing you to get addicted. You may think you have to smoke a lot to get hooked, but you only need one or two cigarettes. 10 cigarettes could very well turn into 20 cigarettes and so on. In the long run, it's not worth it, because health problems WILL show up later in life if you continue smoking. For what you've said, I can tell you like (or are going to like) smoking, and it can, in a blink of an eye, turn into a habit.

So will 10 cigarettes harm your body? No. Will they eventually if it becomes a habit? YES.


i have a husky that has a inffection around his eyes. His eyes are very swollen and red. can anybody help me with this because i dont know what to do.?

It is definitely some sort of eye infection. It may be a bacterial infection. Or could your dog possibly have a cold? Whatever it is, you need to take your dog to the vet or at least CALL a vet. You can find numbers in the phone book for one, if you don't take your dog to the vet regularly. The infection is NOT going to go away by itself, your dog needs antibiotics (medicine) to get better. Only a vet can tell you exactly what's wrong with your dog and how to treat it.


Well the thing is that I'm 16 and attracted to older women, like in there 40's through 80's. And I think I want to be with one. Not in a relationship, but in a sexual way. The thing is that I'm not sure where I would find an older women to do anything with, much less what to say to them. I dont even know if there are any older women that would want to do that sort of thing. I don't know exactly how to go about this so if you have any advice I'd be very thankful.

Try some nursing homes!
Or ask your mom if she has any friends!

Actually, you're going to want to wait until you're 18.
In a lot of states, it is ruled as statutory rape,
even though technically a male must be "turned on,"
to have sex, a lot of places consider it rape.
You're also only 16 and shouldn't really be thinking
about doing the 60 year old lady next door,
if ya know what I mean... you're still a kid,
and you have a lot of time to find someone.
The best thing is to wait until you're 18 and legal.
Once you get out in the real world, you will probably meet more people,
you may even change your mind about your sexual preferences.
Everyone has twisted sexual fantasies, but most of the time,
they should NOT be acted on. I have fantasies as well,
about being with older guys...(like in their 40's.)
But I know that, in real life, it wouldn't be worth it and I probably would regret it.
You would too right now, because you're only 16.
You'll eventually meet someone whether they are
your age or that older woman type you want.


ok.. my other account just got banned bc i "answered with a myth". i think thats an opinion.. if it has worked for all of the guys that i have talked to then it has to be somewhat accurate.. and i even said that in my answer. so wtf why am i banned?

Well, I usually get banned a lot too. That's because if you tell people the truth or if you say anything that they might not want to hear, it's apparently an "okay" reason to get banned. Yeah, Advicenators is stupid like that. People can ask dumb questions, but if you give a dumb answer back, BAM! You're banned.

You could try emailing Advicenators. They probably have a contact button and an email you can write too. Contacting Danger Nerd might help too, but every time I've tried to contact Advicenators about a ban, they ignored me. Heh, some dedicated people we got here, huh? xD


If a guy cums on your clitoris and you are a virgin, What are the chances of you being pregnant?

If a guy cums on you at ALL, there is always a chance of getting pregnant. You should know that...


13/f, I love to sing, but I decided to some videos of my singing on youtube. Bad idea. There's this guy who been harassing(sp) me. He says that I'm the worst singer on Youtube. How can that be? Youtube is world-wide. I don't think that everyone in the world thinks that I suck. But, now I want to sing anymore. I love to sing in all. But I have no more self-esteem left in my body. It's all been chopped off one by one. I sound like a drama queen, i know, but I'm serious. I have no self esteem left. What should I do? Should I stop singing, or just ignore that one guy and continue singing now knowing if I suck or not? Please someone help me.

Ignore the guy...he probably thinks you're hot, and that's his way of showing it. Haha. There are a lot of idiots in the world, and you just have to learn to deal with them. You are eventually going to come across more stupid people like this guy in your life. What you have to remember is, the only opinion that matters is YOURS. Keep doing what YOU want to do, and what makes YOU happy. You're probably a good singer, like I said, this guy is just an immature jerk, but even if you're not the best singer in the world, you're learning, you'll get better. You just need to stay confident and determined if this is something you really want to do. As for the guy who's bugging you, you might be able to report him to YouTube. No matter what, don't give in to some random jerk who probably has nothing better to do than harass you. Don't be afraid of this guy, stick up for yourself. How would he know if you're good or not anyways? Is he like an EXPERT in singing? Did he go to college for it? And can HE even sing? You should ask him this, I bet it'd make him feel really stupid. But either way, keep doing what you want to do. And if the guy keeps bothering you, send me his link and I will knock some sense into him. (Hahaha, just kidding, but I am really quite good at arguing with people.) Hope I helped! :)


for a larger male teen- what styles would be good-maybe even make them appear slimmer...? pics would be awsome!

I'm pretty sure long jackets/coats would have a slimming effect. Stuff like trench coats (well probably not that, but hey, it depends on your style.) Guys can definitely wear blazers and slightly fitted coats, they're not just for girls. A long sort of jacket is going to create length and create the appearance of looking thinner. A dark pair of boot-cut jeans would be good as well. Darker colors make you appear thinner, so dark blues and blacks are good. You could also try some vertically striped shirts, because that will work too. You can still wear fitted clothes and look good. (Though I do know some guys that prefer big, baggy Hot Topic pants and bulky sweatshirts, but like I said- depends on your style.) So I'm not really sure what stores to recommend. Personally, I love Hot Topic, they have a lot of larger sizes and not all of their clothes are "gothic." If that's not really your style, you should be able to find some cool stuff in the men's section of a department store such as Macy's, Bon Ton, JC Penney, Nordstrom's, Dilliard's, etc.


okay so i'm going to the dentist today to extract [pull out] 2 of my teeth. im really really really scared! what should i expect? does it hurt?

your help is gladly appreciatedd =]

I've had 4 teeth pulled. It's not that bad. The part that hurts the most is probably getting shots of Novocain. (Though it actually is pretty cool, because it makes your mouth numb and you can't feel anything. It may ever make your cheeks and nose numb. And like the person beneath me said, it is fun to poke/pinch your face for hours until it wears off, haha.) As for the actually tooth pulling, you can usually watch TV or what I did was brought my MP3 player and listened to it really loud so I couldn't hear what they were doing. You should also close your eyes, because the tools can be scary looking. The oral surgeon will probably walk you through what he's doing, and tell you what's happening. They usually have a metal tool that they push against your tooth until it pops out. Sometimes the teeth break or crumble. You may hear the ripping or cracking sound of your tooth coming out inside your mouth, and you will definitely taste a lot of blood. But you shouldn't be able to feel anything at all, if you had enough novocain. (I actually got 5 shots of novocain, so I couldn't feel anything at ALL!) The whole experience goes by VERY fast. When I got mine pulled, I was not even aware that one of my teeth had come out, and I kept asking, "Wait, you mean you pulled out that tooth but I didn't even notice?" You can also probably keep your teeth if you want, for the "tooth fairy." (Lol!) And then you should take some painkillers, stick to soft foods and liquids like soup and smoothies. You should get all of this information from your dentist. Don't worry, you'll be fine!


I just found out my cat has worms. I know my dad is going to Petsmart today to get some stuff so she can throw them all up.

But where did she get them? What do they do to her? What can we do to prevent it from happening again?

Your cat probably has tapeworms. Tapeworms come from fleas. Fleas can turn into tapeworms once inside the cat. They form in the intestines of the cat. The worm then acts as a parasite and uses the cat as a host. This means that whenever your cat eats, the food goes to the tapeworm and the tapeworm is basically living off of your cat's food and energy. Your cat had to be bitten by a flea to get a tapeworm. Even humans can get tapeworms. They could kill your cat if it is not treated properly. An antibiotic (medicine) can get rid of the tapeworms. If you haven't already taken your cat to the vet, take it to the vet. Don't just buy medicine that says, "Gets rid of tapeworms." You need a professionals opinion. To prevent tapeworms, give your cat flea medicine every month to keep fleas away. Or you could have your cat wear a flea collar. Hope your cat gets better soon.


how do you get an orgasm excatly???
you can get it without having sex right, just like from forking and things like that...right?

Yes...you can get them if you masturbate.
You don't need to have sex.
You just have to find the right spot.


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