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Q: Female/15
What kind of hugs can tell you that some likes you? Is it a usually tight or loose hug?
A lingering, tight hug is definitely nice.. but there are some guys who seriously are not good at hugging and those who are afraid to touch you. It's hard to tell, sometimes.

Q: Okay... since I broke up with my bf I am sooo horny. Haha. Before him, I had never masturbated but while we were dating he started fingering me and I kind of relied on it haha. Well now were done but I'm like soooo horny. And I don't know what to do. I really don't want to masturbate... But what else is there??
There are vibrators if you don't feel comfortable doing the work yourself.

Q: Sorry, "mental health" was the closest category i could find, haha :D

AH so this is an odd question, i'll try to make it sound serious though...

So, it's never really bothered me before...
But I realized lately that i find WEIRD things...attractive. like, sexy, whatever you want to call it.
Like, I don't know how to describe it really. I just find things that people normally dont care for, really sexy. only with guys, by the way, and its a bunch of different, random things...its always the little tiny details i focus on, though.

haha this question sounds so stupid...it's very frusturating that i can't explain it.

ok so here are a few examples off the top of my head...

-when guys adjust their ties(or look nervous in general, really)
-the way the joker slowly turns around/slowly lifts his head up... (in the dark knight)
-little facial twitches guys make (again, being nervous, also being suprised or angry)
-small, quick noises some singers make while..singing. cant describe that too well.
-aang the avatar when hes ...powerfully bending...HAHA wow...im a loser...on the other hand...PRINCE ZUKO when hes really pissed and/or...powerfully bending fire. haha what is WRONG with me
-on tv shows/movies, when a guy will say something really little, like one word, where they'll say it in a husky tone, or their voice will waver or something like that...and i just replay that one second of them saying the little thing over and over because i love how it sounds...
-im 15, and it seems as though i tend to find older men attractive...like, much older men. i usually, ahem, CRUSH, on guys anywhere from their late twenties (such as heath ledger) to their early 50s (such as alec baldwin). i really never like teenage celebrities or guys in their earlier 20s...i would prefer Michael C. Hall to taylor laughtner ANY DAY! ;)
-i dont really find guys' bodies that attractive...i mean...DONT get me wrong, a tan guy with a sixpack is great, but i dont seem to obsess over them as much as a lot of my friends...for example, most of the conversations between us while talking about guys go like:
friend- OH MY GOD he has such a gorgeous BODY!!!!!!
me- yeah i guess...he has a weird face though...


hahaha wow this is really pathetic..but dont worry people, i can laugh at myself.

but..ultimately, i was just wondering if anyone else finds themself doing anything similar to this? or am i just a complete freak? haha.

oh, this isnt some weird fetish or something, right? that would suck...

thanks!
Different people have different turn-ons, don't worry about it. Personally, I don't pay attention to guys' bodies as much as I do their faces.

Q: i want to start using thepiratebay.org but im not exactly sure how it works and the whole torrent thing confuses me. how do i get started? thanks so much!
You need a torrent program. If you know what file you want on an external site, use µTorrent or with a program like Vuze, it has its own searchbar in it.

You can also use kickasstorrents.com for torrents.

Any additional questions, I can try to help. Drop one in my inbox.

Q: Uh, I want to try smoking weed. Just once, it's just something everybody wants to try, ya know? Maybe I'm alone in that but idk what to expect when I do try it. I know most people don't get high on their first time or they aren't as bad. Please tell me about you're first time? Thanks!

Don't say to not do it because I'm not going to try it once and become a huge pot head, I value things in my life and watching what has been happening to my brother's friends (which is whom I will probably try it with) I just want to do it once. once. once.

Thanks!
The deal is that people do not get physically addicted to pot, but psychological addiction is possible after long-term usage. If you try it once, it is not likely you will get addicted, unlike with other drugs. My first and only experience thus far with all this was with special brownies, not smoking. It may be different from smoking it, but I didn't like how it felt, but everyone's different. It's true, you will have to inhale a certain way or you won't be able to feel anything. What someone told me is that you have to take in air and smoke, both so you don't like choke and cough a lot on the first try. I heard you can also get high off of secondhand smoke, so maybe it would still work.

Q: sooo here are the basic questions ..

- how much does it hurt? i mean, it's a little piece of skin, little flesh, it can't be that bad, right?
- how much does it cost?
- how long does it take to heal or till you can change the jewelry?
Costs around $25, I would say. It hurts like you're getting a shot when the needle is going through, but you're fine afterward, unless you get an infection. There may be inflammation and reddening around the area. This is normal, but don't touch it or put any sort of medication on it. It takes 6 months to 1 year to heal, depending on how fast your body responds to wounds. I would suggest changing the jewelry after about an year has passed to be safe. Choose a nice belly ring, like one made out of surgical steel so you don't risk any allergies. Make sure the place is legitimate. Your piercer should go over all this and more with you. If you have any more questions, you can drop a question in my inbox.

Q: I go to Total Bally Fitness and I want to lose the fat and get lean muscle. My weight loss goal is 55 pounds in 3 months. I currently weigh 165, and am 5'4".

But I have no idea what to do at the gym.. when I go I just jump on whatever but I don't think that's the best way to do do it. I can't afford a personal trainer so can you give me an idea of what I should do?

When is the best time to go to the gym, too? morning or night? and how many times a day should I eat? Is it really true that no meal should be bigger than my fist?

thanks a lot!
I think you should exercise in the morning because you'll be more energized during the daytime as opposed to night, when you would want to wind down.. eventually to sleep.

Actually, it is good to eat little snacks/meals throughout the day to keep your metabolism up. However, your meals don't have to be small if you choose to eat just 3 times a day. I would suggest eating a big breakfast, a lunch smaller than that, and a dinner even smaller than your lunch.

As for the gym, you can ask other people working out their for tips and make new friends. You should warm up and cool down with any ol' stretches and things you probably remember from gym class (like "beauty queens", for example).

There's no such thing as spot weight loss, like if you want to lose weight in your butt, you do exercises targeted towards the butt. That builds up muscle in the butt, but weight loss is overall and there are certain places you lose weight from first, regardless, but this is going off-track.

So just choose the machines you feel are doable for you and switch them up every 10 minutes.

Q: I have read tons of "Don't commit suicide" pages, and I fully understand how "wrong" it may be to commit suicide, but what you people don't understand is how much of a failure I am. All this, "It's going to be ok" Or "I love you" Or "You'll make it!" is nothing but a load of crap. I'm not going to make it, I'm going to continue to mess up, and be a failure, there is no hope, and there is no reason for living. If I am going to live, it's going to be for me, not for my family or some random friend. There is no point in living if I can't be happy, do what I want, or eventually get what I want. Basically, my life is worthless, and I was wondering if anyone who has been suicidal in the past has any experience to share. "See a doctor" and "Take medication" are on my to do list, but I don't see how they can fix my crazy. And even still, I don't think they can fix my constant aptitude for failing.
A lot of it has to with attitude. That kind of mentality sets you up for failure. It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It's funny how you say you're a failure, but what I'm reading here, to me seem like the thoughts of a mature and articulate individual. You're capitalizing, punctuating, and spelling correctly.. using quotation marks and a vocabulary word like "aptitude". Maybe that stuff sounds insignificant, but that doesn't seem like the marks of a failure to me. You already researched reasons why not to commit suicide and you're asking for advice here. You think you're a failure, and everyone is most harsh on themselves.

I don't have any way to help you because I go through this myself. All I know is that the present may suck, but there is a lot of time for me to alter that. =\ You're definitely right about living for yourself and not for other people. I think shitty situations leave people with no hope and the only option that sounds appealing is suicide, but there must be some way to change your circumstances, which are probably what are causing you to feel this way. I don't know why you feel like a failure in general. Your mistakes don't sum you up as a human being. You're more than your supposed "failures". This sounds silly, but suicide would be the ultimate "failing at life". It's taking the easy way out. I am glad you're at least trying. That also isn't failure.

Sometimes seeing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist or taking medication has helped people, believe it or not. It could really just be something biological.

Q: Okay so this may sound really shallow but i dont really care. I'm always embarrassed when i go skiing because i look dumb. I don't know where all the girls i see get their clothes but i can't find cute things anywhere. I want some form fitting pants to wear and a jacket that matches my skis and boots. Is that too much to ask for? I'm really thin and dont like looking all bulky and whatnot. Also i'd like it to be semi practical so like if its snowing a little i wont get all wet. My boots are yellow and my skis are light blue and yellow. Links and stuff are appreciated. Oh and not ridiculously expensive. thanksss
I don't think it's not shallow to want to look cute.

I suggest wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans! Dark so if they get wet, it's not as noticeable. They are cute paired with anything. You could wear a pretty yellow sweater with a white tank top underneath.

example of yellow sweater: (Victoria's Secret sells cute sweaters and you can just search at the mall for a cute sweater)
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6s0NguGuADM/SuYFGgCtHqI/AAAAAAAAAxM/qvqcyZcbs90/s400/yellow+sweater.jpeg

example of tank top:(you could get at Abercrombie, Aeropostale, or American Eagle)
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=7794346

Any color jacket would work. Dark brown would be cute, so you get some color variation.

Q: helloooo. its been a while since ive posted but well im back!
ANYWAYSS!
my best friend's birthday is monday,
but we wanted to celebrate it on saturday the 12.
well.... pretty much the whole weekend :)
soo yeah.
she had the idea to throw a pool party for 15 people & stuff but her mom didnt reserve the place so its not available.. bummerr right?.
i was thinking of a hotel party on the beach but i dont know what hotel will allow 15 teenagers in a hotel room without gettingg complaints. teens... whataya gonna do about them??
soo yup! that's prrrretty much it!
if you have any ideas (cheap preffered if possible please) write back & let me know!
x - banana
about the hotel party, go for it!

rather than renting out a hotel room, some hotels have specific ballrooms you rent out for party purposes. i've seen them and been to them. i'm not sure about the reservations process and how long before in advance to book a time. you should try that.

also, some hotels have pools. it might be hard to have it by the beach because of transportation issues if you live far-ish away from the beach.

=) hope the birthday party turns out to be a success!

Q: i've had my formspring for a couple months now, but everyones stopped asking as many questions. i post my formspring on myspace & facebook ,but i still want more questions. so how can i get more from people? (with out having to get formspring its self to ask me random questions.)



for you who dont know what formspring.me is ... it's a website where people come & ask you anonymous questions & you have to answer .
not sure how you put your formspring link on facebook, but in case you didn't already do this:

some people remind others once in a while to ask people to ask them questions on their formspring using their status. you can do that. pimp out your link there.

also, in the lefthand side of your profile, there's a box. you can put your link there so it's more easier to access.

lastly, you can also "cheat." a lot of people just ask themselves questions. not sure what to ask? you can use this: http://www.facebooksurveys.org/

if you have hilarious answers to questions, it helps people wanting to ask you more. if you give one word answers, give short answers, or don't really answer the questions it deters people. it gets annoying because all anyone wants to ask is about your sex or love life anyway. so it's understandable that you aren't truthful about every answer because some things are meant to be private.

Q: how do i ask questions in my posts on tumblr? i click the 'allow someone to answer this question' before i submit my post but it always says 'answers disabled' i dont get what it means and i cant comment on other people posts by adding a note.. i dont know how. :(

can someone please help me!! its driving me crazy!! thanks
okay there may be some confusion here.

in other people's tumblr posts on your dashboard:
http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/4313/thisl.jpg
not everyone has the reply option enabled. you can only reply to a post if the user lets you. the above is an example of someone who allows people to, and the bottom is an example of someone who doesn't. so you can't always add a note to someone's post by replying to it.

did you mean you did this:
http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/2103/tumble.jpg
but it's not allowing people to answer?

did you do this? this may be why, not sure. go to customize your dashboard:
http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/7073/tumblrz.jpg

drop me one in my inbox if it doesn't work

Q: I want to study pre-med, biology, or pshyciatry in college. Something scientific, and I need to narrow my list. I have 3 possible colleges that could be my first choice- College of William and Mary, Lehigh University, and Rochester University. Which school is best for a sciency major? If there are any websites I can compare schools by major or anything that would help, but I can't find any. If not, writing the school you think is the best scientifically would help a lot, and hopefully it's pretty unanimous!If you can prove why the school you choose is best, that would help a lot as well. Thanks
College of William and Mary, in my opinion. It's prestigious. Lehigh I've heard is business-y. How about Cooper Union? It pays for everything if you get in. Use the official Collegeboard website to help compare colleges. Your high school should have a site that helps you with this kind of stuff. I know mine did.

http://collegeprowler.com/compare/
http://www.campuscompare.com/
http://www.globalscholar.com/collegefinder/default.aspx

Q: whats the point of soap? its scrubbing hands together that is important, isnt it?
Soap and scrubbing loosen the bacteria so it comes off more easily. Regular soap is not antibacterial. Just dumping soap on your hands and rinsing them off is not enough cleaning!

Q: Is it absolutely (scientifically?) important to take it at around the same time every day? Or is that just what they tell you so it's easier for you to remember to take the pill?
I think it's like how the body has a biological clock. You wake up and go to sleep a certain time and it would be important for the drug to start working at a certain time so it gets used to being active at that period, if that makes any sense.

Q: I am a virgin but I'm still pretty young (16). My boyfriend has had sex before and he's a little older than me (18). He asked recently if we can start having sex. I love him a lot but he doesn't know I'm still a virgin. I don't want to be embarrassed and tell him about it but I heard that if we have sex then I will bleed on him. That sounds a lot more embarrassing to me.

So, I want to tell him that I haven't had sex yet. How do I tell him this without making him mad, upset, or afraid? I do want to have sex with him and I love him a lot so I know he deserves to know but I don't want to scare him off or make him mad that I haven't told him sooner.

What are the right words?
Not to repeat anything anyone else has said, maybe instead of outright declaring that you are a virgin, you could reword it, "I haven't had any experience yet." And add some more details if you wish, like whether or not you are comfortable with any kind of sexual activity. Be upfront.

If he's the right guy, he's not going to be upset. He'll be glad you were honest with him. It's better that way because if you ever do have sex, he would go gentle on you, and not expect anything. Sometimes boys like that girls are virgins. That would mean he was special, your first.

Q: My family is ordering 25 baby chicks. :) so far I'm naming one Poachy and one Iwo, but I want more cute names. help?
What's missing from the bottom list is Sunny/Sunshine!

Q: In xoxo which ones are the kisses and which are the hugs?
It's debatable if you search online. In addition to what the user below me said, the X could be hugs where two arms are linked and the O is the mouth for kisses.

Q: So last night I smoked with my big brother for the first time. I started imagining the weirdest stuff. Like the stories he was telling me ... I can't remember if I was just making them sound super far fetched in my head, or if he was actually saying that stuff. Like ... he said my mom buys weed from him and stuff. I dunno.

Okay, and also... When I looked in a mirror I would laugh uncontrollably When the fan was on my whole body would feel like it was twitching when it really wasn't. Light made me feel like my voice was going in & out. Kind of like if I were to be talking into a fan.

Could weed do that to me? Cause I thought I was gonna have a heart attack last night. Haha.

Any ideas to what happened? & I woke up @ 8 this morning & was still high! I'm not high anymore though cause I went back to sleep.
Um, I don't think weed makes people hallucinate, like what the first user said. It is probably what the second advicenator said. The weed was more likely laced with some other hard drug. Sometimes people do have different reactions to drugs, but hallucinations is not really one of the side-effects unless you take marijuana in super large doses. You can also get paranoid.

Q: Like 99% of the time I have to initiate the conversation.. and usually they don't reply back. Am I a friendless loser? :( I even made a group on FB about me getting a new phone and put my number and asked other people to post theirs. some people I thought were friends who posted their numbers, when I texted them they replied "whos this?" so they didnt even bother to add me. WHY CANT I MAKE FRIENDSSSS. even people who i relatively consider close we hardly talk. why do i have such issues making friends. im not even a bad person or anything i just feel like im so different from others, but we dont have to be identical to be friends so i dont get it! people never even invite me for events. im 16 and ive never been to a sweet 16. in my life ive hardly been to any birthday parties. why are things so hard for me? im not even a loser or anything, im a pretty cool person that nobody seems to know very well and i dont know what im doing wrong :( :( :( i dont wanna get all depressed and everything about it but sometimes i just feel alone.. and id like close friends i can talk about anything with. a lot of my deep questions I ask on Y!A cause i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about it and they are always intertwined with this problem. FML helppp.

Like 99% of the time I have to initiate the conversation.. and usually they don't reply back. Am I a friendless loser? :( I even made a group on FB about me getting a new phone and put my number and asked other people to post theirs. some people I thought were friends who posted their numbers, when I texted them they replied "whos this?" so they didnt even bother to add me. WHY CANT I MAKE FRIENDSSSS. even people who i relatively consider close we hardly talk. why do i have such issues making friends. im not even a bad person or anything i just feel like im so different from others, but we dont have to be identical to be friends so i dont get it! people never even invite me for events. im 16 and ive never been to a sweet 16. in my life ive hardly been to any birthday parties. why are things so hard for me? im not even a loser or anything, im a pretty cool person that nobody seems to know very well and i dont know what im doing wrong :( :( :( i dont wanna get all depressed and everything about it but sometimes i just feel alone.. and id like close friends i can talk about anything with. a lot of my deep questions I ask on Y!A cause i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about it and they are always intertwined with this problem. FML helppp.

I never even just go to someones house to hang out.. I've only done that with 2 friends in my life and that was around middle school. This year I have been to nobody's house. Im just so socially inept that I dont even know how to plan events or invite people for things cause then I'd be worried about little things and everything cause it would be a big deal to me. just hanging out! not even planning parties.. the last time i had a party was my 10th birthday party and "friends" have only been to my house briefly like on halloween to pick me up. i wasnt even part of a group for halloween most years.. i had to ask if i could join theirs and sometimes i still felt like an outsider. why am i so pathetic like this.. and then other people get to hang out with their friends all the time and go to sleepovers and etc.i feel so jealous of it. i feel like ive lost an important part of development..

I dont get how I miss out when I think Im a pretty cool person I guess. I wish I could have friends like myself.. and I am a good friend. But I feel like other people dont really care when I have issues so I tend to keep them to myself IRL.. but Im totally open to helping them out with their issues. Like im a fun person but kinda shy I guess cause im like socially inept and feel awkward often since im not used to certain situations. maybe i spent too much time on the internet growing up? i even moved to a new town and now its summer vacation and i dont feel like people are gonna be inviting me to things even though they were nice to me before.. like theres nothing wrong with me.. despite what it would seem given my situation. im not ugly or anything either. like there was this 1 girl who has this big bday party and she was nice to me and she didnt even invite me! that really hurt.. cause then she goes and talked about it often in school.. and like it seems like everyone else is invited. it wouldnt have been a big deal to me if she hadnt been talking to me earlier and everything, giving the impression that she was trying to become my friend. i just dont want to spend this summer not being with friends or anything.. for the 100th time. cause most summers i visit friends like 2-3 times in total. sometimes even 0. why do i always have to be the one that initiates it? i dont even know how to do that or if i even should when they dont invite me either. :( :( :( im just in a crappy mood today i guess and looking back at how even more pathetic 10th grade was for me. this has been my most pathetic year, friends wise. even though most times its like that.. i dont act this moody IRL, im usually happy and everything.. keeping sad things like this to myself.. and then when i reflect later on how my life is going it just makes me want to cry cause most people seem to have a few friends. i dont even need many you know. even 1 best friend would be amazing. sometimes i wonder if it could be because im black? i know its bad to do the race card but a lot of my "friends" are white so maybe they dont want to hang out with a black person out of school or what? but its not like the black people ever hang out with me either. all i have is my family.. but even my family is different from me. im into indie rock and it shouldnt matter what my skin tone is. but its rare for me to meet people who like that type of music and etc

sorry for this rambling. gosh..... i always spill my personal problems on to advicenators. you guys are the only best friends i ever seem to have, who really care about helping me with problems :(
wtf? i would totally be your friend. skin color really should not matter but even in this day and age, it's hard to tell. have you tried getting into a different group of friends? maybe the ones you are trying to establish a deeper connection with just aren't worth it.

sometimes, it has a lot to do with where you are. you can't really help your surroundings. i myself, and some other friends of mine don't even have best friends. everyone really is different, yes. and it gets lonely. i think maybe if you branch out into joining clubs and activities (it's never too late), you may meet some new people you may have never considered being friends with before. it's sad that you put in all this effort and no one cares. a lot of people have their clique and stick with it because it's a lot more comfortable that way, but props to you for taking the initiative. one day it will pay off.

are you in 11th grade? this is really hard and far away, but you'll have college to look forward to. that's where people start with a blank slate and are more open to making friends the first year when no one knows anyone else. and it will be a completely new experience. there will be tons of people (even at small schools, there will probably be a bigger pool of people to choose to befriend from, compared to high school). hopefully, you will choose one that fits you. and you will definitely find true friends.

for some people, high school was the worst time of their lives. college is where it's at!

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