about

I'm Johanna. I'll Come and Go. What can I say? I try.

One thing I LOVE to do is to analyze dreams. Just tell me about a dream you had, and I'll help you understand what it means. :)

advice

you say you analyze dreams?? then i need you right now...okay to give a lil background--i like this guy and i told him that and he said he was gay (which was a lie) and it took me forever to get over him which was like four days ago--well like two days ago he starts smiling and staring at me and being all courteous----so my dream...my friends and me were all huddled up and this girl, like the premo girl at our school, said "i stink" and walked off,,then this guy danny who is the guy i like (drew) best friend...well he walks away and the premo girl comes back and she like seriously stunk horriblly!! and this girl tanya was all like well lets ask drew,,and my friends who know what happened said no dont, but she didnt listen cause she didnt know. and he comes over there right next to me and she says "drew i stink. how do i know how bad it is?" and i was like getting ready to puke cause she stunk so bad. but he like put out his arm right in front of my face and put his hand on my shoulder..like my face was in his sweatshirt sleeve. and he looked back at me then started talking to her. And like all of these other girls like come up and take his arm mostly my friends, but my one friend who i found out likes him just like thursday wasnt on his arm...it was me and like 4 other girls...but i started saying get off and like one by one they would fly off of his arm. and we fell down and it was just me and him and i heard someone else (cause it wasnt his voice) saying "no i never wanna see your face outside again"...then i woke up.....can you help me analyze it please?? sorry its so long but its a dream ya know....

That's definitely an interesting dream...Is the premo girl someone you don't like? That would make sense to why she stunk in your dream. I think this dream has to do with self confidence. Drew sounds like he's a very well liked person and it sounds like many girls are fighting for his love. I think the part where he put his hand on your shoulder, means that he might have some feelings for you, but he's unsure of how to handle them right now. In your dream, it might have meant that he was saying you're special or different than all the other girls. (Which is probably true!) I think in your dream, you realized that you have a lot to offer a guy and that's why you sort of made the other girls "fly" off. You probably still have feelings for him, and maybe this dream is your sub concious realizing that you are not quite over him yet. So let me tell you this- you do have a lot to offer a guy and you should have confidence in yourself, like you had in your dream, except in real life. If Drew isn't interested, there are many other fish in the sea!

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so me and my boyfriend and whole bunch of other people are going to the fair this weekend, and i want to kiss him. we have been going out for a month now. how do i go for a kiss though, i mean really. just be like BABY LETS KISS? haha. im joking. but really, how do i go in for a kiss?
thanks!

Just look him in the eyes when you two are alone and slowly move in closer to him. He should get the point. And if he doesn't, say, "Are you going to kiss me or what?" That's a nice way of saying, "Kiss me stupid!" LOL.

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ok... I have this boyfriend, we were together since December 20,2003. We had our first baby together. but we argue alot. I'm starting to really like this other guy who seems to be nicer then my boyfriend. I like this other guy more then my boyfriend, but i'm scared that if i leave my boyfriend and this other guy might turn out to be not what i expected. what should i do?? what would you do??

I would try to work things out with your boyfriend. You had a baby together- which means you each have a responsibility as a parent. And the best thing for your child is if you two stick together. (For now.) Kids who have a mother and a father (or at least a mother figure and father figure) usually grow up to be more well rounded. Keep in mind that whenever there are children involved, whenever there is a long term relationship involved, there WILL be arguments, and you can't run away from them. Healthy couples DO argue. I'm not sure the circumstances, but I would try to talk to your boyfriend. If you loved him enough to have a child with him, I'm sure you guys can work things out. As for the other guy you like, try to get to know him a little better. Maybe just start out being friends. (But definitely don't see him secretly behind your boyfriend's back.) Maybe he could be a mutual friend. Once you get to know him better, you'll know what you want to do. It's best to wait and see because you're right- he might not be what you expected. But then again, he might! Also make sure to find out if your child could fit into his life, if you should ever break up with your boyfriend and want to date the other guy.

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well i would feel more better if i could talk to you somewhere else then here my myspace
is ryan@easthigh.com add me if u have one or something becuase thats not even all and i need serious adivce

Well, my myspace link is on my advice column page, so if you really want to, I guess you can add me. xD

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that you that helped alot im deffinitley going to take ur advice yes things have been really rocky between us but right now were all good. i think she is deffanietly the one. and she does hang around with other guys and stuff like a while ago she seemed to br pretty hung up on this matt riley kid and stuff she though he was really cute and stuff and now theres this guy kyle who last time i cheaked was second on her top next to me. i checked his pic comments from her and its all pretty basic stuff. like saying hes cute and everything but i dont know he lives closer to her than i do and they hug and she brings him cookies at 12 in the morining but she says im her one and only and everything but i question it sometimes becuase the first time we were going out she was the way i could ever want a girlfriend to be now shes diffrent. alot. and i guess u were right i really and truley am scared of losing her again becuase the week i was without her it was hell literaly.she broke up with me if that helps. now im just glad were together and im trying really hard to keep her.

You're most welcome. I hope everything works out for you two- and I'm sure it will. You may have some problems right now, but as you get older, relationships become more steady. Best of luck. :)

Johanna

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okay well ive been having the same dream for about 5 or 6 nights in a row and its about me and my girlfriend and she breaks up with me then i have like these sudden panic attacks and it gets hard to breathe and i can actully feel the pain in my sleep and then she throws this bag of words at me with everything she ever said to me in it and then i carry it over my shoulder and then i go on and cheack my myspace and then she already has another boyfriend and then the panic attack feeling happens again. that was the dream but i still feel the panic attack feeling in real life whenever i get jealous of one of her guy friends or something like that i get panic attacks and it gets hard to breathe what do i do?
by the way in 14 and im a male.

Your dream probably means that you're scared that your girlfriend will break up with you for another guy. In some ways, you may feel like she's too good for you. And you can't stand the thought of seeing her with another guy. You really, really like her. Are you two going through any problems right now? Is she acting weird, or doing something that would give you the feeling that she's going to break up with you? You need to talk to her in real life! Don't get nervous- this is completely normal in relationships. Everyone gets scared sometimes that the person they love might leave them one day. Don't let it scare you- just be completely honest and talk to her. Say something like, "I have this feeling that something's not right here. I still really like you, do you still feel the same way about me?"

You also mentioned something about Myspace- well, check her myspace out! Are you the first person on her top friends? or are there other guys before you? Has any guy been commenting her a lot lately? Look for any clues that something might be going on, and then talk to her. Don't yell at her though, it only makes it worse! Calmly explain to her how you feel and ask her what's going on.

As for your panic attacks- they sound pretty real! I'm not sure, but it could be possible to have panic attacks in your sleep! You definitely should see a doctor- you may have asthma as well. I think there are medications you can take, or just simple things like when you have a panic attack, count- "1, 2, 3...." or look at something around you and think about a random object, for example, a tree.

Hope I helped.

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Well the thing is that I'm 16 and attracted to older women, like in there 40's through 80's. And I think I want to be with one. Not in a relationship, but in a sexual way. The thing is that I'm not sure where I would find an older women to do anything with, much less what to say to them. I dont even know if there are any older women that would want to do that sort of thing. I don't know exactly how to go about this so if you have any advice I'd be very thankful.

Try some nursing homes!
Or ask your mom if she has any friends!

Actually, you're going to want to wait until you're 18.
In a lot of states, it is ruled as statutory rape,
even though technically a male must be "turned on,"
to have sex, a lot of places consider it rape.
You're also only 16 and shouldn't really be thinking
about doing the 60 year old lady next door,
if ya know what I mean... you're still a kid,
and you have a lot of time to find someone.
The best thing is to wait until you're 18 and legal.
Once you get out in the real world, you will probably meet more people,
you may even change your mind about your sexual preferences.
Everyone has twisted sexual fantasies, but most of the time,
they should NOT be acted on. I have fantasies as well,
about being with older guys...(like in their 40's.)
But I know that, in real life, it wouldn't be worth it and I probably would regret it.
You would too right now, because you're only 16.
You'll eventually meet someone whether they are
your age or that older woman type you want.

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I am a 34 year old female, and I just met this woman that i like, and my best friend of 6 years is now jelous and says she is in love with me. I do love her as well but i never thought she looked at me that way. But recently i met this other woman, who i like I dont want to hurt her feelings, but i want to give my bf a chance too. Sounds crazy i know but what should I do. I dont want to lose my bf because of this woman, that would be too much for me. How do I break it off without hurting her?

I think you need to talk to your best friend. You need to ask her why all of a sudden she's decided that she loves you. Maybe she is jealous of the other woman you met. You should let your friend know, that she will always be the first in your life, whether you two stay friends or start a relationship. It's important that you talk to her and try to determine if she really does like you or not, or if she's just a little jealous.

You shouldn't have to feel like you have to choose between this woman and your best friend. And that's exactly what you should tell your friend. Honestly, you should do what YOU want to do. If you want to date this other woman, go ahead! Your best friend should respect your choice no matter what. But if you want to try a relationship with your best friend, then that's okay too.

As for the other woman, you can just tell her that you like her a lot, but you need some time to think things over, that you're having some problems and second thoughts, and you really don't think you can be in a relationship with her right now. After that, it's up to you if you want to date your best friend or not.

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Ok I'm 16 and a female. It's summer and all i can do is think about this one boy. Does anybody know what i could do? I really like him and im not really sure if he likes me back. He's usually at my bus stop and lives on the street right behind me! Please Help!!! Thank You All!!!

You have a great opportunity to turn this crush into a relationship! If you see him around a lot, strike up a casual conversation. And don't be nervous! It's summer and you like him, don't be afraid to take a chance! Do you know when he's usually at the bus stop? Maybe you could "accidentally" bump into him there. Play it cool. Say something like, "Oh, hey, how's your summer been? I haven't seen you around much, we really should hang out more. I've been sort of bored since school's been out..." That is a great conversation starter. Also, you're going to want to ask him a lot about his life. What are his plans for the summer? Where exactly is he going when he gets on the bus? Things like that. This is really great for you, since you live in the same neighborhood. Just don't bump into him "accidentally" too many times, or he might think you're stalking him. Haha. Well, take it from there and then see what happens with him!

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alright well theres this one guy and hes always saying stuff like well: i was singing shake that by eminem(one of my favs)and i got to the part where it goes "go ahead shake ure butt!" and he goes you can shake ure butt for me and then i just laughed and hes like "i love lap dances" and then i was like "oh really?" and then hes like "hmm but you would probably want something in return" and i was like "what do you have on ure mind?" and hes like "ohh youll see" then he winked: is he being serious? joking around?
im really confused!

He's just being your average guy. Most guys joke around like that to girls, just because between the ages of 13 and 17, boy's hormones are raging, and well, let's face it. Most guys' minds are in the gutters. AKA thinking about sex several times every day. He probably does NOT really like you or want to be your boyfriend, or anything like that. From what he said, it sounds like he's only looking to get a piece of action if you know what I mean. I don't think he's really expecting a lap dance from you, he was just joking. However, if you WERE to give him a lap dance, I don't think he'd mind one bit...But don't do that. This guy obviously doesn't want a serious relationship, so it's not a good idea. If it was me, I would have smacked him, haha, but if you can put up with his sexual comments, then that's fine.

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[I am a highly spriritual person]
16/F
I had been in a relationship for two years. I really loved this guy. He was 18 and called Dan. For me though, the grass was always greener, and I kept leaving him for other people. It was awful. I always went back to him when I realised he was all I wanted, but then someone else came along.

We broke up about 2 months ago. For the last time we agreed. No more getting back together. It was long over due. I started seeing this guy, Matt. We went out a few times during mine and Dans break ups. We had previously been out a few times before me and Dan knew eachother.

Matt was going out with this girl, Liz, when me and Dan broke up. I told Matt that I liked him. I told him that I didnt want to break them up, I just wanted to let him know. He then broke up with Liz and invited me around his house. I went. I was really nervous and Matt told me we needed to talk about "us". I guess we really did but I avoided the issue and slept with him instead.

Now, everyone considers us "going out" even though he didnt ask me out. I would have said no, after Dan i realised I am not relationship material. Its not fair to mess people about.

Dan's friends never accepted me, and Matt's mates really get a long with me. It feels so good to be liked. I can just be myself.

But I dont love Matt. I love Dan. Last night Dan came around, and we made out. It started to lead on to sex but I didnt think getting caught up in the moment would do either of us any good. He still loves me.

I did a tarot card reading. But I got mixed messages. It told me that the basis of our relationship was, "A new phase or fresh start, having vision or faith in oneself. Enthusiam. PLayfulness. Trust. A sense of protection". But when it got to where are relationship is going, it said, "Conquest, defeat, destruction of others, Ememies seek your dishonour. Quarrels, Rivalry, no clear winner. Confused priorities, spitefullness".

Can anyone make sense of this for me? Should I be with him or not?

Cheers // Love xXx

To me, your tarot card reading sounded completely accurate. I think what it's trying to say is that your relationship with Matt is very new and "fresh" to you because the only love you had known before him, was Dan. However, this could go both ways. You may have had a fresh start with Matt, but now you also may be having the chance to have a fresh start with Dan too.

Right now, You may not really be sure how to carry on a normal a relationship again. You're not sure how to handle this relationship with Matt, because the only relationship that sticks in your mind is the one you had with Dan. You want to like Matt, but deep down, you know that Dan is still there in your heart.

As for where the relationship is going, that sounds pretty accurate as well. You're having a hard time choosing between Matt and Dan. Maybe you're afraid that if you go back to Dan, you're only going to end up breaking up again. You think you don't want to go back to Dan, so that's why you keep holding on to Matt. But at the same time, you know you miss Dan. You just don't want things to end up the way they were last time.

Basically, the tarot cards are telling you to make a decision before someone's heart gets broken. If you don't decide now, they both could get away. If you continue to see Dan AND Matthew, you may "destroy" one of them.

I think that you should give Dan another chance. You are stuck on this relationship and if you know that you love him, then it's worth another try. There is no point in going out with Matt, if all you can think about is Dan.

Think carefully and make a choice. I think you should try it with Dan again, and tell Matt the truth about it. There's no need of breaking his heart. If you don't want to get back together with Dan, maybe you need to find a completely new person.

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basically my subject. what is most appealing in a girl to a guy? and why do guys like really slutty girls?

Because guys are immature assholes that only want to get laid?

Haha, well most of the ones I know are anyways. There are a few rare guys that actually look into a girl's personality. I've talked to my guy friends about this, and they've said that they want a girl who's, cute, nice, and laughs at their jokes. Looks are always going to matter somewhat to a guy, but I think looks matter to a girl as well, I know they do for me. Basically, most guys won't like you if you're real opinionated or bitchy. (Which I totally am.) And then there's the sad truth, that many people are just looking to get laid. But there are some guys out there that AREN'T like that. You could get lucky. :]

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15/f

Is it worth it to wait till I'm done high school to start dating again?

I got this idea from my friend, since most guys in high school ( in mine/hers anyway ) are absolute idiots, whether it be logically, academically, or just in general.

That is very true, and at times I feel the exact same way.

Now, to your question, my personal opinion would be, yes, it's worth it to wait to date until you're done with highschool. Right now, you should be focusing on doing well in school and possibly maintaining a good relationship with your friends. Having a boyfriend is not everything. In fact, most highschool relationships are very short and usually end in heart break. There is no use chasing after guys or dating any random loser, just because you want a boyfriend. However, it may seem like noone likes your ight now, but in the future, especially when you get to be in 11th/12th grade, you could possibly meet someone that you like. You might be thinking, "No, I already know everyone." Well, that's exactly what I think about my highschool too, but in reality, there are probably a few people you don't really know.

Besides, boys will get more mature especially when they start to hit 16/17. If you're only in 9th grade, you don't want to make any huge decisions about dtaing right now, because you might change your mind later. From experience, I can tell you that 7th, 8th, and 9th grade suck when it comes to dating, because girls have matured and most guys are still on that 12 year old mental level. Don't be discouraged though- some guys do grow up. Eventually.

I would just take life as it comes. Meaning that, I wouldn't worry about whether you have a boyfriend or not. If someone you really like comes your way, give dating a try if you want. But don't waste your time on some random loser just because you really want a boyfriend. Afterall, you don't need a boyfriend to be happy. For now, just be happy with yourself for being so independent. You may date in highschool, you may not. It's not really important. When you get to college, people will be much more mature and you're likely to find more dating opportunities there.

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What traits do girls look for in guys? What would your ideal guy be like?

I'd say, it's different for every girl. Most girls would just like a guy that could be himself, and that isn't easily influenced by his friends. I like funny guys, but only if they know exactly when and how to be funny. However, guys that joke around 24/7 are not appreciated. I'd also want a guy that had some intelligence, and you could at least hold a meaningful conversation with. And of course, looks are important too. Girls can be just as shallow as guys, but I really do think that there has to be some physical attraction in a relationship in order for it to work.

You sound like a great guy. How can I tell? because you're taking the time to ask people on here, and if you're anything like that in real life, I bet a girl would love you, especially if you asked her a lot about herself. That always makes us feel appreciated.

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Well as some as you might know, ive been dating this guy for 4 months. I dont know if its natural but he keeps flirting and flirting and flirting! I get SO mad, and this one girl specificly, and i know it, likes him. She always is flirting with him and smiling at him and sometimes even winking?! Wow. should i confront the girl or even my boyfriend that it bothers me?

Yes, you should confront your boyfriend. A relationship is all about trust, and you need to know if you can trust him. 4 months is a fairly long time and you two are expected to be open and honest with each other. You have to talk to him because you don't want all of this to build up inside of you. I've had that happen to me before, where I've been jealous, but I didn't say anything about it, then I ended up flipping out and screaming at my boyfriend.

The best thing you can do, is, in person, ask your boyfriend, "You know that _____ girl? Are you two friends?" See what he says. If he says yes, tell him, "Well, it makes me feel kind of uncomfortable when she's around you." Again, see what he says. DON'T say anything like, "She's so ugly/gross," even if you do feel that way. End the conversation by asking, "Can I trust you that you're not seeing anyone else?" After that, drop the subject. You don't want to turn it into a three hour long discussion.

After that, if the girl sticks around, that's her problem. She can flirt and wink at him all she wants, it only matters what he does back to her. If he's not flirting back with her, then don't worry about it. Trust me, you will know if your boyfriend is cheating on you. Because things get around very quickly, and you will always find out. (Though I don't think he is cheating on you.) Give it some time, see what happens. If he's not flirting back, this girl will eventually give up and move on. If you know for a fact that he DOESN'T like her as a friend at all, then feel free to yell at her a bit and tell her to back off.

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I like him A LOT. theres just so much about him I like, and we've gone out and everything. and now we're friends. but we're going to diff. high schools next year. and im really really really bummed about it. and im giving him a note telling him that i wanna keep in touch and everything and that i'll miss him. but i don't feel like thats enough. is there anything else i can do to show him i sincerely care about him and actually wanna keep in touch with him?

thanks 13/f

You should tell him in person. Maybe bring a scrap of paper, and give him your email, AIM, Myspace link, phone number, or anything that you have. Just tell him how you feel. Don't cry or anything, but say what you feel. You can do it. :]

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im 13 what do you do when your dating now? as in what im just clueless? we go to the movies and over eachothers houses. how do you start kissing? do you just sit there lips out and ready and the other wondering whats wrong with you? help

Do only what you're comfortable with. if you don't feel 100% comfortable with it, don't do it. I'd sugguest giving your boyfriend a peck on the lips. You don't really have to wait for it to happen, you can just go ahead and do it. Surpise him. But only if you're comfortable.

**EDIT** When the moment is right, maybe when you both are sitting down and relazed, lean in and give him a peck on the lips. Or when you have to leave, and you're saying goodbye, give him a peck on the corner of his lips.

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okay well i see my best friend and her boyfriend making out all the time and everytime i watch them i really want to have a bf so i wouldnt be left out, but everytime my friends say they want to hook me up im just like nahh i don't know why im not scared to makeout or anything and i don't know what to do and it bugs me cause it seems amazing

I have the same problem. I really would like a boyfriend too. It drives me nuts when I have to watch a couple kiss or just walk together.

You're not scared to make out, so that's definitely not your problem. You said that the idea of having a boyfriend seems amazing. Key word: seems. It does seem amazing, but a lot of times it isn't.

I don't blame you for not wanting your friends to hook you up with someone. You should be able to pick out your own boyfriend, not one that your friends picked out for you.

I think the problem is simply that there is noone you really like right now. A boyfriend would be amazing, but you would want it to be someone that you really liked, and that really liked you back, right? That can sometimes be hard to find, especially if you're still a teenager. Everyone's hormones are screwed up, and it is impossible not to get your heart broken at this age.

I think that you do want a boyfriend, but you just haven't found the right guy. And you probably don't want to get your heart broken either if the relationship won't last. (Which most of the time, it doesn't last.)

Don't let your friends tell you what to do, or tell you that you HAVE to have a boyfriend. Your friends may seem like they're in steady relationships right now, but you'd be suprised how quickly a relationship can fall apart. Eventually, you'll find someone. Just take it slow, and don't waste your time on any losers.

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well, me and my boyfriend's one year will be coming up very shortly. i really need suggestions on what to get him. I've alreay made him a scrap book-so a no on that. he likes rock music, his main thing is music. no, we're not going to have sex. i'm waiting until i'm married. [he know's this] so, any suggestions on what to get him or what we could do? please answer this. i really want to make it special for the both of us.

Guys LOVE food. You could try baking him something, like cookies or brownies, or any food that he likes. You can make it special by putting the cookies/whatever in a pretty tin and maybe slipping tiny pieces of paper in with the cookies that say cute things, like, "I love you because.....blah blah."

Another thing you could do, is just make him something creative and artistic. My sister actually painted an old record and decorated it with hearts and song lyrics, since her boyfriend liked music alot.

Then there's always the idea of making him a CD. If you have an "our" song or two, put those on it. There are a ton of good rock songs that are about love that you could put on it.

In addition, you could make him a small book of reasons why you love him. My sister got a colorful envelop and put 100 slips of paper in it, each with a reason why she loved her boyfriend.

That's about all I can think of. Sorry if I'm not much help, I actually don't have a boyfriend and I have never given a guy an anniversary present, but I'm awaiting the day that I will be able to. :]

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Well heres the thing.
I like three guys.
but one guy is my ex boyfriend.
and He really likes my other friend.
and she really likes him back.
but they dont want to date again becus the have dated before.
and so I like this boy and ever snice he dumped me I tried to make my feelings for him to go away and i dont know what to do.
I dont know if I should tell him or not. and I talked to my friend and she doesnt care as long no one gets hurts cuz i dnt wanna hurt her and she said im not.
so what should i do?
and this guy is like one of my best guy friends.

You can't really "make" your feelings go away, and you said he wasn't interested in you, I would let it go. It sounds like this guy has been dating a lot of girls, and if you go out again with him, it's only going to end in heartbreak. I can tell you from experience, getting back together with an ex is NOT fun. You think you want to, but things end up getting very awkward, and it will only bring up the point of why you two broke up in the first place. I would try to avoid this guy as much as possible, don't dwell on the thought of him. You can still be his friend, and talk to him occasionally, but play it cool. You don't want to be having a three hour long conversation with him, or he'll think you're desperate. In the mean time, try going for the other two guys you like. Stay open minded when it comes to new relationships. Maybe you could even make your ex jealous if you dated one of the new guys. ;]

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