about

I'm Johanna. I'll Come and Go. What can I say? I try.

One thing I LOVE to do is to analyze dreams. Just tell me about a dream you had, and I'll help you understand what it means. :)

advice

I have had this friend for 6 yrs. She told me that she had started smoking and asked me to also. What should I do to help my friend

No I did not start smoking.

You are very smart to not start smoking. Never give in to what anyone says, even if they are your best friend. You may get in trouble, or the other person may see you as pathetic, that you give in to everything. So it is good that you do not smoke, and do not start!

As for your friend, she's probably not addicted yet to smoking. You need to stop her before she does. Have a strict and serious conversation with her. Say in a serious tone, "Do you WANT to DIE?" and if she tries to say, "It's no big deal..." you need to have evidence to back up your statement about how smoking is bad.

Did you know that smoking....
-Slows down your heart rate, which means it is very hard to lose weight/exercise
-Bad Breath & yellow teeth which is unattractive to most guys
-Smoking increases chances of many types of cancer, heart attacks & strokes
-Smoking affects the ability to have a healthy baby
-weight gain (up to 5 pounds)
-Stuffy nose, and more colds
-cause asthma, and if she already has asthma, she could die
-damage voice box

You need to tell your friend about all of this effects that smoking could have on her! Is your friend a teen? Well, when you smoke and you're a teen, it can deform your body, and cause you not to be able to grow.

Below, I put some sites that might give you more details on what else to say to your friend. If she still won't believe you, try looking on google for some pictures of smokers' body parts. It may be gross, but it might put a little bit of common sense into her.

http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/quit/canquit.htm
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/smokeinfo.html
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_10_13X_Guide_for_Quitting_Smoking.asp

Ultimately, the choice is up to her. You can't force her to quit, but you can try to help her. I've had smokers in my family who used to smoke, and they developed bad health problems from it because they quit too late. Don't let that happen to your friend.

P.S.- That's very young to start smoking. She might just be saying that to impress you, but it is possible that she could of. She probably still can quit easily, but as you get older, it gets harder to quit, so hopefully you can convince her to quit now.

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i like this guy and i think he likes me because he flirt with me all the time .how can i get him to tell me? and he knows i like him

Well, here's what I would do.Look really pretty and try to act mysterious around him, you know, leave him guessing! Whatever you do, don't talk nonstop. Try and say as little as possible, just shoot him flirty looks.And finally, he might break down and confess that he likes you. If that doesn't work, just try asking him. casually say, "Hey, so you'd consider us friends right? Well, I was just wondering if you liked me more than a friend."

Hope I helped && Good Luck!

-Johanna

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how old should i be to have sex in your opinion (f)?

I would have to say around 18+ only because in the U.S. it is illegal if you're under 18. Also it's not a good idea to be doing it in highschool because let's say you have a boyfriend and you two have it, and then you break up after. (80% of people who've had sex in highschool end up breaking up soon after it.) You will still have to SEE that person EVERYDAY in highschool. When you get to college it's a little bit different. You are really going to want to wait until you're 18, or else you may regret it.

-johanna

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heyy,
i am thirteen years old. i dont know what to do right now in my life because ive been getting into many fights with my parents, im doing bad in school, and im not even sure about who i like right now. I have also been very emotional lately.

please help me,
thanks...

Well, first of all, you have just gotten into your teen years! I remember when I first turned 13, I kind of felt like that too. What I've noticed, is that when you are entering the teenage years, you get very moody and insecure. It's completely normal.

A thing called Hormomes are chemicals that are in your body and help your body to mature into a woman's body. So these hormones are changing very quickly when you are around 12, 13 or 14. Because of these changes in your hormones, you might feel more stress than usual which leads you to be cranky sometimes, fight with parents, and not be able to focus in school. Also If you don't already have your period, you may be about to get it.

This is completely normal so don't worry about it. I have problems like that too. All you have to do is know how to deal with all your negative stress. My sugguestion is to always think before you say anything to anyone, think about if what you say will hurt their feelings. Then if you accidentally yell at your parents, apologize after and explain to your mom about how you feel. She probably remembers going through it too!

Also, I found that keeping a journal really helps me. I write what I think about people, my feelings, and all kinds of stuff in it. You should definitely try it.

As for school, try to focus in school, and think about how proud you, your parents, and teachers will be if you work hard! Then if you get good grades, you can brag to your friends. (Hehe.)

And don't worry about "who you like," right now. You're still very young and you have all the time in the world to decide that. Not knowing who you like is a normal part of every teenager's life.

Hope I helped!

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Hi. I have a 3 day weekend and I was wondering what are some fun things I can do with my two friends this weekend. My parents work on Monday so we can't do anything at my house. Any ideas?

Try having a sleepover party at one of your friend's houses! Or just meet up and have some serious girl talk! Paint your nails/toenails, give each other good or wacky make-overs, play Twister [fun], watch movies, play DDR, have a dance contest, a pillowfight, and best of all, if it's warm where you live, go outside! Take a walk, get dressed up and catch some guys' eyes! Or excersize can be fun too, run or ride bikes around your neighborhood. Make/eat tons of comfort food, or for something really extreme, you all could get jobs someplace if it's okay with your parents!

xoxo Johanna

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I run track and my shins are starting to bother me. I have a big track meet tomorrow and I really need some help on wha I need to do to help soothe them. Thank you in advance

Try using Icy Hot [cream] I find that it always helps me when a muscle hurts. You can even buy these neat Icy Hot Braces, that can go around your shin or arm. Also drink lots of water, because that will help. Take some Tylenol which may help too. Soak them in hot water or a heat pad, or cool them off with some cool water or ice.

You might want to even wear a brace for a while. You can buy them at most grocery/drug stores. Like when people have a sore wrist, they can buy wrist braces. I think you can get them for your leg too.

Ofcourse, if things get worse, tell your doctor!

xoxo Johanna

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My grandma had a stroke 3 months now and she jus came home after being in a nursin home 4 2 mnths. The problem is this evenin she's all how she's goin to her home in p (where she used to live before) aand she couldn't stop and she was saying how she going to hit us and get the keys and stuff. Does anyone know any good websites or known or knw someone who has or had a stroke and how the family deals/dealed with it?

PLEASE HELP MEE!

Hey hun, I'm sorry to hear that about your grandmother, I know it can be hard, but just keep supporting her.

Here's some sites that might help you with dealing with your grandmother:

http://www.asherasarchive.com/stephdavis/strokeemotions.html

http://www.pressrepublican.com/home&market/pulse/archive/0499pu2.htm

Hope I helped!

xoxo Johanna

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If your gonna say something about skin cancer don't answer or I'll rate you bad.
alright. tommorow I'm going to the tanning salon.
I've been there once before. =] [the tanning bed kind] However I have a few questions.
~ How long do you stay in for?
~ What do you wear in there?
~ Please include some additional information if you want a five.
~ Is it alright to go bowling afterward?

You can stay in for 15-20 minutes is best, depending on just how tan you want to get. Make it 15 if you want a lighter tan, and 20 if you want it a little darker. No more than 20 minutes though!

You can wear your bathing suit, if you want. I think that is the most conveniant. If you want no lines, then I guess you could go naked, but you should probably go with your bathing suit.

I think Banana Boat dark tanning oil is the best, and you might also want to wear some sunscreen. Definitely check out Hawaiian Tropic products, sunscreen and lotion. It is a good idea to apply a mosturizing lotion after tanning so that you have not just tan, but radiant skin.

And it is fine to go bowling afterward!

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Lately, Ive realy wanted ot become balimic or anterexic.. the thing is i cant. i love my boyfriend to death and he would flip if he found out.. also i would loose all trust in my parents.... soo what do i do?? is cutting back food a badd thing???


--thx--

Oh God. Okay, if you are Not eating at all, or making yourself throw up after you eat, or only eating like crackers for lunch, then yes honey, it is a bad thing. What you need to do is except your body for what it is because 50% of girls who say they are overweight are Not overweight. If you really think you are, ask your doctor or try this.

http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/bmi/calc-bmi.htm

You can diet by taking junk food out of your diet, but don't take out the nutrients like fruits, veggies, meat, dairy and grains that you need to be healthy. Dieting and being anorexic are NOT the same thing. And anyways, if you want to diet, it should be YOUR decision, not your boyfriend's or your parent's. Try to eat healthy, small meals and snacks, not gigantic meals, and definitely try to excersize more, joing a sport or whatever.

--Johanna

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Hi. I am 14. My mom is VERY hard to work with. I have talked about shaving before, and she says "Why honey? Who do you need to impress?" I dont want to impress anyone I just want to shave. Well, if you can help me try and talk her into it or something. THANKS~

What you need to do is give your mom a serious reality check. Ask her how old SHE was when she started shaving.If she says 15 or 16, or something, then you need to explain to her that it is the 21st century and you should be able to shave. Chances are, that she started shaving around 13 or 14. You need to be clear with her. Firm voice, and you need to sound assertive and serious. Don't whine/complain, just try to act maturely.This may sound stupid, but have your "claim" ready. Tell her exactly why you should be able to shave, and every time she tries to talk You out of it, just keep repeating your claim. This way, it isn't arguing. You need to tell her that you don't shave to impress people, you shave because you don't want a bunch of annoying dark hair on your legs!

Hope I helped!

Johanna

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what does HxC mean? i see it a lot but i dont understand it...thanks ♥

Hardcore. It's this stupid thing that people have created as a version of a punk stereotype. From what I understand, it means someone who parties, drinks, smokes, and acts "hard core." There's also sXe, Straight edge, which is people who don't drink or smoke. If you ask me, it's all kind of stupid, just another way of drawing attention to some lonely person with no creativity.

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Okay, I really really really want to have sex with him (a.k.a. my boyfriend) but everytime we are about to "do it", I chicken out.

I don't know why, I guess that it's because I'm a virgin.
But I wish I weren't so scared. And I can never figure
out why I back out.

What should I do? Wait to have sex? Or just hold my
tongue and get it over with?

[p.s.] i'm a female, 16 years old

I honestly don't understand why everyone is sugguesting to "just do it" or "start slowly" to you. You are very young. Right now, you're at the age where the risk is highest for you to get STDs. You may think you're ready for this, but in truths you may not be. You say that sex is everything where you live, so that definitely has something to do with it. I mean, you obviously feel odd because you haven't done it yet but everyone else has. It's kind of like that thing, "Would you jump off a bridge if all of your friends were doing it?" Just because everyone you know is doing something, doesn't mean you have to too. Obviously if you haven't done it yet, you are not ready, but you are not letting yourself believe it.

Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you are a virgin. tell him your feelings, tell him you want to wait a while, and ask him how he feels about it. If he really loves you, he will stay with you, and you have to trust me on this. He has put up with you backing out of doing it, he will be able to put up with postponing it, I'm sure of it. And don't feel bad for backing out of it. You are a smart girl, and I'd hate to see someone like you make a bad decision and end up with regrets the rest of their life.

Respect your body and self, no matter what anyone says.

xo Johanna

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so i am a female at age 13 going on 14. and about a month ago when i was working on a project with two guys(nerds). anyways he started asking why i had a mastache. and yes everyone has hair their but it shouldnt be noticable like this is? how do i get rid of this problem?
please dont say ignore them
xoxo KML

Never shave or tweeze. It will HURT! But if you want a quick easy way to get rid of it, try bleaching it. Try the brand Jolen, you just have to mix the powder with the cream and it bleaches the hair, and it is not noticable!

xo Johanna

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What do you think is the average age to get your first kiss?

I got mine when I was 12. But it is a matter of when you feel ready. With all these people telling you when THEY got their first kiss, it really makes it hard for you to decide when you should have yours. There's no certain age you should be. I wouldn't reccomend kissing when you're like 10, but whenever you feel ready. It's up to you to decide, not other people.

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how do i get my hair scrunched? like that curly hair u see girls have. i dont want it like a wet scrnched though. and i want it to stick with all the humidity that we have in new orleans. my hair is like an inch below my sholders and i straghten it everyday and now im gettin sck of that look. k thx. 5's

Try Aussie Sprunch Spray, found in most shampoo or hair product isles of your local grocery store. Just spray this on your hair after you get out of the shower, it works best at night after you get out of the shower. Take your hands and squeeze your hair kind of pulling it up. Although, it does say how to do all of this on the bottle.

heres the site for the spray:
http://www.aussie.com/

-johanna

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I want to break up with my boyfriend in a way. I do because we spend way to much time together and he eventually gets annoying. But I know I wold be jealous if I seen him with other girls and it will make it hard because we go to school together, work together, and yeah. But I don't want to hurt him but he will probably be a butt about wanting to still be friends. He doesn't drive and I always have to kinda haul him around. What should I do? I will rate high!

I've had this sort of problem before. Is it kind of like he is really attached to you? Maybe, you could sugguest to him that the two of you establish some days where you can just have some "me time" or time for friends. This way, you wouldn't really be breaking up with him, just slowing it down. Just talk to him and make sure he knows that you have other friends and family that you need to be spending time with too. I'm sure he does too.

Hope I helped!

-Johanna

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hey
I was wondering, how come everyone all of a sudden hates preps?
Like my friends and I were at the movies tonight. And i hate labeling myself but im deffinetely in the prep catogory. And all these punk emo girls were mocking us and and following us saying " like omg im like such a prep like omg" And all this other stuff. MY friends thought they were jelous but i dont know. Does anyone know why everyone doesnt like preps? Like on myspace people are posting bulletins saying " Wow i hate preps" and all this other stuff. Im just being myself,and who i am.
Does anyone know? thanks

People assume that preps are really mean and stuck up. And it is true that alot of them are. At least the ones who go to my school. That doesn't mean that ALL of them are. I have a couple friends who are preppy and wear abercrombie but it doesn't bother me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Just ignore those jerks. Emo Posers are just as bad as stuck up people. If they bother you again, just say, "Don't you have anything better to do? Or are you that desperate?"

Hope I helped!

-Johanna

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Okay this might be kind of confusing but bear with me please. So at the end of summer last year, I met this guy, Joe, through my best friend, Liz. Joe dated one of Liz's good friends, Grace. They dated for about 2 & 1/2 years and then at the beginning of summer, they broke up. So now its September, and Joe with his friend come by Liz's house, and I'm there with her. So I meet Joe, I knew who he was and about him & Grace and I thought he was pretty cute. He thought I was really cute too. He liked me and all. I wasn't even THINKING about me and him together, the thought of US never came to mind. I felt like I had no chance. Grace (his ex) was unbelievably gorgeous and so much different from me.Well anyways, so we started hanging out. He'd come by more often and we were both very shy. Later I found out that one of the reasons he fell for me was because I was so quiet. But anyways, so we would hang out; play tennis and just hang out with friends. I also got drunk for the very first time with him -- and that's a very goodmemory. I remember how he was so worried about me geeting home and everything that day. Ahh memories. We went downtown by the lake and shopped and everything. Then one day, we were walking, just the two of us, and we kiss. Later on the walk home, he told me about how he wanted to kiss me sooner but that didn't work out cause it was never good timing with his friends and all. So yes, then the following week we would hang out and kiss :) and talked online. He asked me do I see him as a boyfriend and all that and talked about us dating. The next time we hung out, he asked me out. It was perfect. I never met a guy like him. Never dated ANYONE like that. Too perfect for words. It was awesome, the best time of my life. Everything was going great, I couldn't have been happier. He was a bad boy, ditching school, band with his friends, typical guy stuff. But I was always able to count on him. He always chose me over his friends, and even stopped drinking. We went to different schools, and then I started working with my dad, so things got harder. He had his friends drop him off whenever just so he can see me -- it was like a dream come true. My prince charming had come. But meanwhile, Grace (the ex) found out and went crazy. She hated me and my friend/her friend for letting it even happen. She had people watching me and threating me all the time on the interenet that they're going to kick my ass for dating Joe. But I didn't care. My friendshad my back. I remember when Joe was over and I wasn't supposed to have anyone over, and he was over and my dad came home, haha... he ran out the back door and jumped the gate and everything barefoot. Lol poor him left his shoes. He had written me a song and everything, we even wrote each other notes in school. Now back to the psycho ex-gf, well me and her were sort of friends, we just knew each other because of my best friend Liz. She would always follow me & Joe, (she had a car so was EVERYWHERE) and yeah. Then one day, me and joe sort of got into an argument. Me and my friend Liz and some of his friends were all walking around the nieghborhood onour way to chill at this one park. His ex would drive by and stop and talk to Joe's friends. We were with a bunch of friends all walking when these little 12=14 year old were with us and they were talking shit to joe about me and just because bitches and giving me and my friend attitude so I wasn't gonna deal with it and me and my friend Liz turned around and left. He didn't even bother to go after me or call. I regret doing that, I know he must have gotten mad, I remember when I hung up on him, that upset him also. but anyways, so the same day I call him. And I call again. And I call again. No answer. Same thing the following day, Saturday. Then Sunday I call all day. Finallly I try one last time on SUnday night and Grace picks up. And she said he's with her now and all those times he wasn't with me, he was with her. I dropped the phone. It was crazy, my friends wanted to go right over there and beat her up. But I thought about and decided just to forget it. Lateron, I signed online and he was on -- so I instant messaged him. And I yelled at him and everything and then signed off and cried. And cried. I thought I got over him, I was into another guy -- well then he chose another girl over me, and yeah. Then he came back and I rejected him and all that because I'm not gonna deal with someone liek that. SO I really don't even know what I'm asking. Him and Grace have been together ever since. I ran into both of them the other day at a store which was really awkward, he was with his friends in the store and I was with mine. Then they left the store and his girlfriend -- Grace -- and his sister come in. Then they leave and are waiting outside in the car for us. We goto our car and trhey pull up and then she says something and flicks us off and drives off. But anways, I just can't seem to get over him. Its crazy cause this all happened quite a while ago. Maybe its just because he was my first SERIOUS boyfriend? I have no idea what to do... and I really want to believe that one day WE WILLE get back together. I just hope and pray something along the way will happen and we will be together.Like today for example, I felt like breaking down and crying. I went with my friends downtown, on the train. And they were with their bf's and it reminded me how we used to be like that. Last time I took the train was with him. We went to musuems on Columbus Day. Memories :( It was just so heartbreaking. Do you think that we will get back together? People say "THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!" and I wanna follow that, because well thats how I met him. I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend. ANd now every guy I look at or my friends want me to meet/date, I just can't. And it kills me because I want to be with him and no one elsre. DO you thinkin it's possible for us to get back together? Maybe later on in life? It was my mistake because I was always so shy and not really OUT with my feelings, and I regret not telling him how I feel, he always thought I didn't like him or anything. Although we dated for only about 2 months, the memrories and the times we had together even before we began officially "dating" ... they mean soo much. I just wish I had another chance. Do you think it's possible for us to ever get back together? Do you think he ever thinks about me the way I think about him? Is there ANY chance of us getting back together in the future?

Well, I'd have to say, firstly, that bad boys are very cute, but not always the greatest kinds of guys to date. I think you got into a relationship way too fast with this guy. I have made that mistake before, in fact, I just made that mistake a few days ago. Obviously when a really cute guy asks you out, your imediate reaction is YES! But, we do not always make the best choices.

Now, you probably want me to say, that there is a chance you could get back together. And actually, there is a chance. But let's think, if you got back together with him, knowing that Grace is still there, and that he could be cheating on you, how would you feel? I wouldn't want to go out with someone who would do what he did to you, and he could have easily taken the relationship alot farther than he did. Naturally, you are trying to cling on to this relationship, probably since he was your first serious boyfriend. But, you need to let go. You can do ALOT better! trust me, someday some guy is going to come along and you two will fall in love, and joe will be saying, "Darn. I can't believe I lost her."

So don't call him anymore, don't IM him. You are way too good for him and his stupid psycho girlfriend. So basically to wrap all this up, yes there could be a chance, but I really don't think it would be worth it.

Thanks for writing to me!

--Johanna

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How can you tell if you're over weight? Is there something else you can do besides the "pinch test"? I'm a 14/f, about 5'10" and I weight about 146. My arms and legs are the right size, all muscular and such. I'm a swimmer (I swim USA, not high school) so I have to keep in really good shape. I do crunches, sit ups, and leg lifts every night, but my stummy still doesn't feel all muscualr. I don't know if I'm parinoid or if I really have some fat laying around there. Thanks for the help.

Well, you should measure how tall you are. Then go to this site:

http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

BMI stands for Body Mass Index, it is going to give you a general idea of if you are overweight or not. You definitely don't sound overweight but if you really think so, you should go see your doctor.

You already said you worked out alot, so maybe you could try eating healthier.

Go to this website to find out your personal diet plan, it uses your age, height, weight,gender, and excersize plan to come up with a perfect diet:

http://www.mypyramid.gov/mypyramid/index.aspx

Hope I helped! But you know, I really don't think you're overweight! Hope I helped!

--Johanna

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if i run and walk on a treadmill for about 20-30 minutes each day.. would i lose weight and would it help me tone my stomach and legs? if so, when will i see results?

A treadmill may help you burn calories faster. It depends on what speed you do it on. Try going slow then getting really fast. it will not tone your stomach, but it may strengthen the muscles in your legs. For your stomach you really have to do some stomach excersizes. Also like the person below me said, you have to eat right too.

Try seventeen.com for tips on losing weight:

http://www.seventeen.com/health/train
http://www.seventeen.com/health/nutrition

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