Hi, let me start by saying I'm young. 13f and my best friend died. Her brother was hurt really bad and i feel like it was my fault, cuz they were on their way to pic me up when a drunk driver ran into them. My friend died instantly and her brother is expected to die in the next seven-twelve days. I want to say something to him, but I don't know what and if I don't hurry, it might be too late. You can e-mail me at prettymoonbug@hotmail.com
I'm very sorry :(
While I understand that you might blame yourself, please don't. This is not your fault. If anyone is responsible, it's the person who decided to drive while they were intoxicated. It's an unfortunate, tragic accident. Such things happen in life. Again, I'm really sorry. But try to recognize the situation for what it is. An accident.
If you feel like you should talk to him, then do. You might continue to feel guilty, or regret not doing so in the future. As for what to say...All I can tell you is to say what is on your mind. Everything. Get it all out. Don't hold back, you don't want to regret what you DIDN'T say in the future.
I do not know you, and I don't know if you believe in a higher power, but my thoughts and prayers are with you. And I wish you and your friend's family the very best. Please feel free to leave a message for me in my inbox if you need someone to listen.
Until then...Blessings.
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i wash my face twice a day (once in the morning, once at night) but after i was my face it gets really shiny. and its really noticable (a few people have asked me why my face is so shiny...which is really embarrasing.)....is there any product that wont clog my pores but will make my face less shiny?
thanks.
I also suffer from oily skin. I went to my dermatologist and he told me several things:
-Use a gentle cleanser. Harsh cleansers can actually cause your skin to produce more oil. (Cetaphil is an excellent product.)
-Don't go overboard. There is no miracle product. I use a prescription gel in the morning and a perscription cream at night. While my skin is clear, it doesn't do anything about the general oiliness. What I said about harsh cleansers apply to harsh facial products in general.
-Keep washing your face two times a day. It is especially important to wash your face at night. Not washing your face before you go to bed can cause your pores to clog while you are sleeping.
-If necessary use a moisturizer. Only use a moisturizer in the places that need it. For example, I normally only apply lotion to the eye area, where my skin is dry. Make sure the product that you purchase is _non-comedogenic_. (Anything by Aveeno is also an excellent product.)
The best way to keep your face from appearing shiny is to wear makeup. You'll need a good foundation, loose powder, and pressed powder. Be sure to carry the pressed powder with you. Then you can re-apply if you notice that your face is starting to shine. Make sure that ALL your make-up is also non-comedogenic. (Non-comedogenic means that the product will not clog your pores. If a product advertises that it "won't clog pores" instead of "non-comedogenic" it's a lie. Only buy products were it specificly states that it is "non-comedogenic.)
-Food does not cause your skin to become oily. My dermatologist told me that it really doesn't matter whether I eat french fries or not. What you eat does not affect your skin. (Normally.) The only exception to this rule is if you have a type of allergic reaction to that particular food. In that case, stay away...But if not, eat whatever you want.
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Teen christianity is becoming an enormous problem. In hordes normal children are being brainwashed into believing their elders that the world will end within their lifetimes.
As a result kids aren't just kids anymore. Everything that used to be "fun" is suddenly a "sin." We're busy thinking about heaven and our church before we hardly even had a chance to see the world, and we're waiting for the "world to end."
What a crock of sh**. I personally don't even want to go with Jesus if there is an apocolypse. I never was attracted to Christianity. Your parents shove it down your throats before you even have a chance to thin for yourselves. It's a religion created by old men, for old men, and against personal gain or women in general. Well, being an AMBITIOUS woman and a FEMINIST I want nothing to do with this faith. I know I'll be getting some violent attacks from all of you brainwashed little turds about how right you are and wrong I am, and I'll sit here and sigh and understand because you're in a box that you didn't necessarily put yourself in.
So here is my question- what makes you believe anyway?
Well, I was a Christian once upon a time.
Then I believed it because I had been raised Christian. I had went to church as a child, read the Bible, and listened to whatever my parents had to say about the matter.
But then, when I was about sixteen, I started going to church on my own. I became a very active member, which ultimately, did not brainwash me, but turned me off of organized religion...probably...forever.
It just didn't make sense to me. The idea of a loving, but very angry God. A God so angry that he would actually send someone to hell just for not loving him back. Oh yeah, and that part about being a man...Is it just me, or does anyone else realize that for God to be a man, he would have to have a penis? And is it just me, or does the idea of God having genitalia strike anyone else as hilarious?
However, I still believe in God and I still believe in Jesus. I believe because I don't understand how I could love or forgive if a higher power didn't endow me with those qualities. And I believe in Jesus because, well, I've read what the man has to say. And I think that his overall message of peace and love is a good one.
While I do admit that I often sneer at organized religion, any organized religion, I know that I shouldn't be sneering. Religion was orginally invented to create a path to the higher power. I may not agree with some of those paths, but I recognize that they are paths just the same. If you're a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Wiccan, Buddhist, Hindu, or whatever, more power to you. I don't care how you connect to the higher power, just so long as you do. I may write off some of your spiritual ideas as ridiculous, but I respect you and so, I have to respect your ideas to.
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Many religions believe that the world is going to end soon, and we are living our last days because of all the crime, hate, and everyone being open about their sexuality, what are your opinions on this?
People tend to ingnore the fact that violent crime, intense hatred, and sexual promiscuity, among other things, is nothing new. It's been going on for centuries, and was probably just as bad then as it is now. Just take one look at the Old Testament. It's filled with records of war, murder, torture, and rape.
I think people think things are worse now, than before, because of the "good old days" mentality. The fact of the matter is, the good old days really weren't so good. People tend to forget the negative and just remember the positive. It's not that man is getting any worse, it's that our ideals are getting better. Our ideas of right and wrong are evolving, becoming more complex, though we haven't figured out a way to appropriately stop bad behavior.
I don't believe the end is near. (If it is near, it's not because of any ancient prophecy. We'll most likely either destroy our planet or use our technology to kill each other.) Religions have been saying, "The end is near" for centuries, even millenia. For example, early Christians thought that the end of the world was fast approaching soon after the death of Christ. Well, we've been waiting two-thousand years and it still ain't here yet. Guess I'll stop worrying about it and get back to living...That is what God intended, isn't it? For me to enjoy life while I'm living, right?
I would also like to point out one interesting fact. In the New Testament, it says that we will know the end is approaching when the stars fall from the sky and the sky goes dark. Scientists have told us that when a star burns out, we still receive it's light for 30,000 years, because of the spead of light. Therefore, even if every star died tomorrow, we'd still receive light for another 30,000 years. (Unless we were sucked into a black hole.) That means we'd still have 30,000 years to live before the sky went dark and Christ re-appeared. So, yeah...
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okay so i am and only child and im am the total opposite of spoiled! if ne thing im way over protected! my parents are really tight! and they wont let me do n e thing! im 14 and im goin out with this boy but i dont kno how to tell my parents.. i mean they kno that i like this boy and he likes me but how can i get them to let me go out with him? or like just atleast hang out with himout of school? i get good grades and im honest with them and they trust me and i deserve to b able to have more privalages! how can i just explain to them that everyone has a boyfriends when your my age and that most of them are allowed to go out on a date with them?
Just talk to your parents and tell them the truth. They might feel better about you going out on dates if you try to involve them a little. For example: if you are going to the movies, have your parents drop you off. Let them know which movie you are seeing, and when it will be over. Designate a time a place to meet, so that they can pick you up. And then make sure that the two of you are there when you said that you were going to be. This will show your parents that you can be trusted, and keep them from worrying about where you are who you are with.
Also, let your parents meet your boyfriend. Don't be afraid to ask your parents if you can invite him over for dinner and to watch a movie one night. This will give your parents the opportunity to get to know this guy, and the more they know, the less they will worry. While he's over, make sure to respect their rules. For example: if your parents don't like the idea of you having a boy in your bedroom, don't take him in there, not even to watch tv. Watch tv in the living room instead. They will see that you respect their rules, and will return your respect.
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How do I get rid of my writers' block?
Sometimes I'm inspired to write about dreams that I have had. I start thinking about my dream and eventually it can become a story.
Someone once suggested a simple exercise. Try sitting on the couch or in a recliner. Hold your car keys in one hand, and let yourself drift off into sleep. When you are asleep, your hand will relax, and you will drop your keys. Dropping your keys will cause you to wake up, and dreams are easiest to remember when you have woke during the middle of your dream. Make sure to have a pad and pencil handy. That way you can write down the details of your dream immediately. (You remember dreams best in the 10 seconds after you wake.)
This exercise might not work for you. If not, try other writing exercises. For example, take the first paragraph of your favorite book and start writing your own story. Just make it up as you go along, it doesn't matter if it's very good. You might want to check on the internet for other writing exercises.
If that still doesn't work, maybe you've got writer's block because you're trying to hard and need to relax. Simply, don't think about writing for a while, and don't worry about your writer's block either. Do something else you enjoy, just have fun!
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Well, my friend and i always try to plan going to citywalk, and every time SHE cancels it. I never canceled it. I'm not sure if she really has a reason to cancel it every time, or if she just doesnt want to go with me. If she didn't want to go with me I wish she would just tell me, and I would rather her do that then expect her to go there with me. I'm not sure if I should still try to plan it with her or what. I mean I hope it's just because she has a reasonable explanation. Because I don't think that i'm that bad of a friend, I don't do anything to be mean, and I like to have fun. If you know whats going on, or if you have a idea please help me. I'm totally confused.
Just because she keeps blowing you off doesn't mean that you are a bad person, or a bad friend. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault that she's inconsiderate.
I suggest that the next time you invite her to Citywalk, invite someone else too, someone who won't bale on you...That way, if she cancels, you can tell her that's just fine, and you and your other friend can go and have fun without her. If I were you, I'd probably give her one more chance. But if she blew me off, I wouldn't invite her again. (Doesn't mean you can't still be friends.) Then, if she wants to hang out with you, she can call YOU.After all, her fingers aren't broken...
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I really need some advice.
I am a 15/F ....I have gone out with this one guy about 5 or 6 times (we arent datiing just hooking up). We were introduced by a friend (he's 16) and is (or seems) like a really good guy. My parents are away for the whole weekend and my sister is going to be out tomorrow night and I think this guy is coming over. We have hooked up.. but nothing more then that. I am kind of concerned that something is going to happen that I don't want to happen (i am a virgin). I don't know If i'm just overly worried or what. do u think its a bad idea for him to come over considering the circumstances? Is it suggesting that I want something more then just hooking up? Please give me your advice. Especially the boys here. Thanks.
I really think that you shouldn't invite this guy over to your house, if no one else is going to be there. I'm not trying to scare you by implying that he might be a rapist. (Though all girls should be careful.) But I do think that it is very possible that he might get the wrong idea, and then try to pressure you into doing something that you don't really want to. I know because it's happened to me in the past.
Besides, I'm of the opinion that if you aren't comfortable with an idea, you probably have reason to be uncomfortable, and should respect your own feelings.
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Hello there.
Okay, well firstly I'm very annoyed that I didn't use a comma after my "Hello", but I don't think it looks right, so I'm not putting one in... Secondly, this is what my problem is. I have a hella lot of inner conflicts with myself, and I often speak to myself.
I don't consider speaking to yourself an actual problem, because it's rather normal, just most people deny it as it makes them look "weird", I personally don't care. But I am annoyed at the fact that I argue with myself a hella lot, I get annoyed at the slightest things and I try to purposely contradict myself when I'm bored to make my life seem more amusing and cause problems.
I'm turning my life into a soap opera for the fun of it, and when a real problem does arise, I flip it over, turn it inside out and make it all the more worse.
I *could* figure this one out myself, but I'd probably give myself the wrong solution just so I have another problem that I can make a larger problem out of, then I'll contradict the whole thing by denying ever having *any* problems AT ALL...
Okay, I made this longer and more complicated/confusing than I could've imagined, but again, help would be rather nice. And don't give me a lame ass answer like "seek help from your GP" because I'm not gonna and I want a REAL answer.
Apologies and I appreciate you wasting your time. Merci beaucoup.
Maybe you just think too much. I know I do, and I do all of those things...I have entire conversations, debates, and various pity-parties...all by myself :P According to my friends and family, such behavior is quite common.
While reading, I noticed that my negative thoughts were often caused by a lack of perspective. When I am irritated, I tend to ignore the fact that other people have feelings too and I shouldn't expect them to be perfect. When I have a problem, and I notice that I am only becoming more upset, it's usually because I have forgotten all the things that I have to be grateful for, or expect to be perfect, when I very well know that all people, including myself are imperfect.
I have a photograph, and I call it my "reality check." It is a picture of a young boy from Iraq in a pathetic excuse for a hospital. Both his arms were blown off during a bombing, and the majority of his body is severely burned. His parents, and most of his family is dead. His only remaining relative is his aunt. She sits by his bed, and told the journalist from "Time" that he does not know that his family has not survived the attack.
This is what real drama is. This is what happens when we forget that other people have feelings. I'm not trying to lecture you, I'm simply sharing the lecture that I give to myself :D I look at the picture and I remember to not be self-absorbed, and to thank God that isn't me lying on that cot. When I think about that, it is mighty difficult to be dramatic.
I don't really know what your problem is. And I'm sorry that I couldn't give you better advice. I'm sorry if my little speech sounds lame. And you may feel free to say so if you decide to write any feedback. All I can tell you, is what helped me...(Since you don't want me to tell you to visit a physician :P )
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heyyyy! I'm the 16 yr old you gave guy advice to before... well ive got a few questions i wish you might help with. Ok so this guy has told me (before we were anything at all) that he doesnt like calling people... he likes them to call him. Lol and thats the EXACT same thing with me.. and i told him that. I told him it's a big deal for me to call someone and that i'm not a fan of it. Well later he said that since we both didnt like calling eachother then we were both going to have to do it and switch it up. Ok so he called me like 4 or 5 times and we talked (it was mostly when we were outta town because of spring break) and then when we got back I got up thr courage to call him to see what he was up to... so i did... but he didnt answer so i left a message. Then a few days later it was the same thing... he didnt answer, but this time i didnt leave a message... i was kinda frustrated since i know he ALWAYS has his cell with him and he knows that when i call its nerveracking... THEN like the next day (i still havent even gotten a call back) he calls and asks what i'm doing because he's like outside my house. OF COURSE I HAD TO BE IN SWEATS AND LOOK TERRIBLE lol but i thought it was kinda cute since i love random surprises like that... we only talked for a little bit because he had to go. I am SOOOOO confused with this boy! I need help!! what is going on?!?!?!?
I can understand that you are confused, he is definitely sending you mixed signals. One day he won't answer his cellphone, and the next day he shows up on your doorstep. And guys say WE'RE confusing :P
You can give him the benefit of the doubt, since it sounds like it's still relatively early in the relationship. However, if he continues to not answer your phone calls, he could be trying to send you a very discreet signal. Maybe that he likes you, he just doesn't like you enough. But I would also like to say that, not returning your phone calls is not the only warning sign. For example: if you two make plans, and he suddenly cancels or stands you up, he's trying to tell you the same thing.
I would like to take this opportunity to recommend the book, "He's Just Not That Into You," By Greg Brehendt and Liz Tuccillo. Hopefully you won't need it to figure out whether or not this guy is "into you," but I suggest that every dating female read it. It will take a lot of the confusion out of your interactions with the opposite sex, and you'll be able to save your brain from the dreaded disease that is over-analyzing.
Let me know if you have any more questions. Best of luck...Adieu ;)
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hi this is mandi! i put a question out on the activism page like this one! hopefully more people will see it here and be able to help me! i really want to start an organization! im a teenager, and i really want to help the world. im thinking of getting people to donate bible and i can like send them to africa or sumthin. gosh i pray every night the rebels in africa would be stopped...ugh!! i feel the only thing i can do to help those women who are being raped everyday is to pass on the word! please help me! im wondering how to start an organization! please answer--i give good ratings and feedback for good answers--also if you have any questions or more info, please put it on my column! reelbigfishingirl
I've heard of organizations that are doing exactly what you want to do. Why not start by joining such an organization?
Later, if you come up with another idea, and see the need for it, you can start your own. Then you will all ready know a little bit about how such organizations are formed, maintained, and have the network and resources to make your idea a reality.
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alright here's a good story. so i met this girl a few months ago, we hit things off really well and we started going out a bit. I was basically head over heels for her, and she liked me a lot as well. Then one day things just suddenly go to hell. I talk to her and she says she simply no longer likes me. I get extremely depressed for a while because it broke my heart. Not much later I find out that basically right after things broke off with her she hooked up with one of my best friends. He confesses this to me and I'm okay with it. Then I find out it happened multiple times, and they went pretty far with it. What would you do.
I'm with DangerNerd. She clearly doesn't deserve you. Forget her and find someone who does.
As for your friend, I commend his honesty. That took a lot of guts. However, DN has a point, a real friend wouldn't do that to you in the first place. My best friend and I have always stuck to an unspoken rule, we always keep our hands off of each other's boyfriends. Even ex-boyfriends. We do this out of respect for each other, and consideration for each other's feelings. To not do so would be akward among other things. I mean, how are we supposed to trust each other in the future if not?
No friendship can exist without trust. Ask yourself, do you still trust your friend?
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I'm 16, i get told i'm pretty, 5'3, 120lbs, brown hair and eyes, sophmore, friendly, funny, and i love just about everyone... ok well thats the 411 on me but theres a huge problem with it: I'm sick of being single! Ive been single for waaaayyyy too long now. I want a real relationship that lasts! I used to like this one guy who just got out of a really long relationship, so that obviously didnt work out so well... then i started liking this other guy who goes to another school (i still kinda like him now too but things are confusing) and i THINK he likes me too. He's let me drive his car w/o my permit, he's taken me to this romantic park that i really wanted to go to so i metioned it to him and he surprized me, he didnt smoke for a week because i dont like it, he's spontaneously stopped by my house to pick me up, he takes pics of me on his camera and he left a message on my phone last week saying that he was looking through them and seeing me made him happy so he thought he'd call me... basically hes done adorable things like that! but the problem his he has a gf that he got after i started having a thing for him... i heard about it before he talked to me about it and he said "do you think i was sober when i asked her out?? no.." and "youre better than her, thats why i'm more worried about you being mad right now than even being with her" but yet like 3 weeks later he's STILL going out with her. I have a feeling he likes me, but since i'm not a skank i wont do all the things that his "gf" will do with him (i wont do them especially because he has the gf now). I think that he's falling for me and my personality but he's still with her because he wants some.. but i dont want that at all! I want a boyfriend who will love me for me.. i dont want to get played!!! what should I do?? PLEASE
Basicly, you just told me that you know you're pretty and have a great personality :) If you want a boyfriend, why stress over this guy, it sounds like you could easily find someone else.
Yes, it sounds like he does like you, but in my opinion, he just doesn't like you enough. If he's dating someone else instead of you, he's clearly a moron :P I'm also concerned that, if he's just with this girl because she's willing to grant sexual favors, even if he did dump her for you, his intentions might not be so honorable. I don't think that's what you want. You've all ready stated that you don't do those things, and that's great. Don't stop respecting yourself. Ever. Besides, you said that you wanted to be with someone who loved you for being you. And you deserve someone who does!
I say, forget this guy. Give your attention to someone else. Someone worthy.
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im really worried about my best friend she sleeps with anyone and anything that moves last week she slept with 5 different guys than last night at a party she slept with 3 guys gave head to 1 and let that guys brother go down on her and hooked up with my close mate now she saying she wont hang around me unless i change im out of ideas of things to do.
Don't change. Continue to respect yourself, even if it costs you a friendship.
Your friend obviously has some serious issues. All you can do is try talking to her. Tell her that you are worried about her. (Her actions could result in contracting a sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy.) If she doesn't listen, then let go of her. You don't want to hang around someone who behaves this way, and you certainly don't want to act like them.
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How come everyone thinks im mean? all i do is tell the truth. I gues they just cant handle the truth. Do you guys appreciate it when people tell you the truth or stupid lies? I would rather know the truth not stupid lies people tell me to feel better gosh.
Whats your opinion
Ya_gots_to_luv_me :)
You should be honest. (Don't start lying just to make people happy.) However, what you say can sometimes be less important than how you say it.
What I mean be this is...When I am telling the someone the truth, and I know that what I have to say might hurt their feelings, I try to be gentle. I usually start by telling them how much I care about them, that I understand their perspective, and then try to phrase things in the most sensitive way. I try to avoid getting angry and using negative language. Most people understand that I am not trying to attack them, and as a result don't become so defensive.
You also have to know when telling the truth isn't necessary. Someone gave a pretty good example. If your best friend is overweight, and she's complaining about being fat, telling her that she is really isn't necessary. Doesn't mean you have to lie, it simply means that you should observe the old addage, "If you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all."
I try to reserve the truth for situations that really need it. I tell the truth when I feel like lying or remaining silent would either hurt someone else or myself. I tell the truth when I'm asked for my honest opinion. Etc., etc., etc...
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I'm a 14 female. I use to cut myself badly but stopped in the beginning of Jan. I haven't cut since. Every day i think about sucide. the people i'd hurt. those i wouldnt. my moods always tend to be shitty. I'm not sure if thats cause im 14 and a brat or if im possible depressed. I'm usually okay in school, in front of my peers. once i get home i feel completely lost. I've attempted sucide once, failed, obiviously. but i've never had a docter examine me. my parents do not believe in giving teens depression medicine. my parents and i have talked about the possible depression. i asked to see a Shrink. My parents agreed. That was 2 months ago. it has not been brought up agian. my parents this my cutting was their fault, when in fact their the reason i hadnt pushed the razor harder. i constanly take 10-20 advil at a time. u cant OD on it. im not sure why. i've read the symptoms of depression and i match quiet a few. how can i figure out if i do have a mental problem or if im a typical teen?
thank you...
I think that if you have cut yourself in the past, and have attempted suicide, you probably suffer from clinical depression. (But I'm not a doctor.) Don't think that there is "something wrong with you." Depression is a becoming a fairly common problem. However, though it might be common, it still needs to be addressed.
I suggest you try to talk to your parents again. It sounds to me like they don't know the whole story, and really...they should. I can understand that they might be thinking that this is just a case of the teen blues, but let them know about everything that has been going on in your mind. I don't think they want to deny that anything is wrong, they maybe just don't want to acknowledge that you are hurting because they love you and don't want to think that their child is hurt.
Hopefully, you will get the help that you need from your parents. If for some reason you don't, try talking to your school counselor. They might be able to help you themselves, and if not, they can at least talk to your parents and express their concern.
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My question is, why does it seem like an overwhelming amount of the advisors on this web site are teenage girls? I'm serious about this. Is it because they have more time on their hands, have a stronger feeling of needing to give advice, need more advice.etc.etc? What do you think the reason is?
I can't say for sure. I'm not a teenager. But here is my theory...
The reason females out-number males...Generally, men like to solve their own problems. Being able to solve their own problems makes them feel competent. They only ask for advise when they have a particularly difficult problem and need an expert. You never offer a man advice, you wait for him to ask for it. To offer when he hasn't asked is basicly accusing him of being incompetent.
And generally, women are the exact opposite. We value love, communication, and relationships. Mainly because we define ourselves through all these things. We like to help, share, support, and nurture, because it makes us feel good about ourselves.
(If you are wondering where I came up with this, read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," by John Gray Ph.D. Chapter Two. Excellent book.)
As to why there are more young people than older people, I'm guessing it is simply because younger people have more time on their hands.
For example: teenagers fifteen and younger only have school, family, and friends to worry about. Then you turn sixteen. Now you can worry about going to school, getting a job, driving, and family and friends. After that eighteen rolls around, and you're suddenly worrying about college, work, bills, family, friends, and relationships too. You'd think that by the time you hit your twenties, that would all go away. But nooo...Now you have a career to worry about instead of a job, more bills, more responsibilities, family, friends, and that person who says they want to marry you. Eventually, children get thrown into the mix and...Well, you see where this is going.
You might be wondering how I find the time to do this. I don't know...Oh crap, I need to go to bed :P
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I'm writing my boyfriend of 7 months a note, I really want it to have an impact on him. He's amazing and honest and wonderful and I don't know what I'd be without him, and I've expressed that alot through the letter. Last week, I screwed up majorly and that's why i'm writing this note to him.
-- Last week I went snowboarding and I met this guy, before an hour had passed he had asked me to make out with him, since I have a loving and caring boyfriend I didn't make out with him because it's wrong, right? Like always, NO never works on a guy, so naturally he kept on harassing me. Insted of making out, we agreed on hugging. I told my boyfriend this, and to some people this might seem "over protective" or "obsessed", but he got really upset with me.
Everything is wrong now, so I told him I didn't hug him, i just dont' want to lose him. I know i should have confessed and stayed that way, but you've got to see it from my point of veiw. What I'm trying to say is, is there anything more to put in the letter to make an impact on him... I also need to have advice on what to say to my boyfriend about the other guy.
Please help, I'm desparate.
I know that what I am about to say is going to sound harsh, and I am sorry. I know that I am not really answering your question. Again, I am sorry. But I would like to point something out...
You did nothing wrong. I REPEAT, you did NOTHING wrong. You told the other boy no, and did not allow yourself to be a victim of pressure. So you hugged another boy. Big deal.
Please understand that I am not accusing your boyfriend of being a bad person. I'm not accusing him of being a bad boyfriend either. He's jealous, and that's natural. But relationships aren't built on love alone. Relationships are built on trust. If he can't overcome his own insecurities and learn to trust you, this is only going to be the first of many problems.
Yes, I agree, you should tell him how much you love him and reassure him. But I also think that you need to stand up for yourself. You need to point out that you didn't do anything wrong, and he doesn't need to be jealous, he needs to trust you. I'm not suggesting that you be mean to him, all of these things can be said in a caring and gentle way. But this is something that he needs to get over right now.
He needs to get over it right now because there are other boys in the world. You are going to have friends, and just friends, that are boys. Is he going to get mad at you every time that you hug them? And if he does, where does he draw the line? Will he get mad at you for simply talking to another boy next? Or looking at one? Is he going to demand that you can't have friends that are of the opposite sex? That's unfair. What are you supposed to do, avoid anyone with a penis? That may be difficult, considering about half the population is male.
My ex-boyfriend had a lot of faults, I admit. And while he did confess that he was insecure, and often became jealous of one male friend inparticular, he realized that he was over-reacting and being unfair. He never demanded that I stop talking to this person, or that I not demonstrate friendly affection towards this person either. If he was feeling jealous, he simply said so, without accusing me of being unfaithful in some way. Then I re-assured him, and he admitted that he felt awful silly because he did trust me. He knew that I would never, ever deliberately hurt him. Especially by being unfaithful.
Bottom line: I say write that letter. But remember that you aren't the one that needs to apologize, he is.
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sometimes when im in the car i imagen getting in a car wreck and dying. and i also imagen other ways that i could die but there all normal...(not like sucide or anything.) is this normal?
I used to do this a lot when I was in my teens, and I still occasionally have such thoughts about ten years later. You are probably experiencing some form of anxiety, which is normal (many people experience anxiety) but can and probably should be fixed.
I would recommend going to see the school counselor if you are still in school, or a doctor if you are not. Most likely, they can tell you what is going on and point you in the right direction.
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I have this job, it's pretty stupid, but I hold a sign that says "Hot-N-Ready $5" for a pizza place. Anyways, I'm starting to think that the people I work with don't really respect me enough.
For example, on Good Friday, I get a phonecall from them asking me if I can work from 4-6. I say okay, and I change my easter dinner plans with my family. Well, fifteen minutes before my shift starts, I got a phonecall from them telling me I don't need to come in. The fact that they don't respect me enough to let me know earlier or to just let me come in and work the two stupid hours like I planned really pissed me off.
I had been looking for reasons to quit, because after working there for two months, I was still always working outside, and I had expected to be working inside with more hours. So, the other day, I went in, and asked if my manager would be coming in today, and the other lady was like "No, why?" and I just said "well, I need to talk to her." The other woman kept on insisting that I tell her what I need to talk to her about, so I did, and I told her I was really pissed off, and so was my family. So, she went ahead and told me all this crap about how they love me there and think I'm a "great team member". So, I didn't end up quitting, and I'm waiting until my manager comes back. They kind of go through workers pretty quickly, but I've had it.
Do you think I should quit or what? Should I just forget about it and move on and hope things get better?
I suggest you look for a new job and quit when you find one. If your current job calls you again, asking you to work on short notice, tell them that you are unable to if you all ready have plans. Normally, if someone from work calls me and asks me to work when I have made plans with my family, I tell them so. And normally, they understand.
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