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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I've always had irregular periods. My first one started a few months ago. However, I cannot remember when my last date was, and I just want to get my next period so I can remember when I last had it. Is there anything I could do to make it come sooner? Other than any pills.

A girls first periods can be very irregular; sometimes taking months between them. This is all normal in the early stages of puberty while your body adjusts to the new hormones and the hormones are released into your body. There is no medical evidence of any way to increase or induce a period or would you find a doctor who would do so for a young teenage girl starting her first menses.

Since you may be among those girls whose first periods are going to be irregular I suggest the following. If you do not already have a pocket calendar or some type of date book get one. When your next period arrives mark the date it starts in your datebook calendar. When your period ends mark that date as well. Continue to do this until your periods become regular. If they do not start to become regular then a visit to your GYN is in order. Bring your pocket calendar with you so you can review the dates and length of your periods with your GYN.

NOTE: Your period has nothing to do with sex; it is a biological function of a women's body. As such this is something you can and should discuss with mom. Remember you are a product of your mothers gene's. It is very likely the problem you are concerned about is something your mother faced when she first got her period. If this is true she can better advise you then any of us. Also she will know when it is appropriate to see the GYN .

Me female.21 India..Me n my.boyfrnd.was fooling around each other but unfortunately my Bf was not wearing.his underwear.but.I was...penetration. Was there and he was on me.... Sum.liquid was there in my.underwear I dont know wheather it was mine or his.precum but deginately.it was not.his.sperm.and I m a virgin girl still...can this condition leads to pregnancy could I be pregnent???? Plzzz giv Me 100% accurate result plZ

It is very possible the liquid in your panties was precum. This is an emission guys have without any feeling that it is going to happen or has happened so there is no way to for him to stop or pull out before it happens. The liquid could also be your secretions or a mixture of both; there is no way to tell for sure. If you are going to fool around in this manner he should at the very least be wearing a condom even if he keeps his underwear on as this is the only way to control what emits from his penis.

Now as to whether or not you're pregnant. The chances are low that you could be pregnant. If you obsess and stress out over whether you are pregnant you will most likely miss your next period due to stress and not pregnancy; as stress causes more missed periods in unmarried women than pregnancy does.

My advice is to purchase a home pregnancy test kit and follow the directions on the package as to when and how to use it. If it comes up negative then your not pregnant and your next period should arrive on schedule if you can remain calm.

I am a fifteen year old girl, I am 5'4" and I weigh 112.6. I really need to lose some weight, I was thinking 10 pounds. I just feel so fat. I want a toned body, as well as a flat stomach. Any suggestions?

Weight can vary depending on the time of the day you weigh yourself. For the weight you wrote you are 2 pounds underweight for a small framed girl of your height and 38 pounds underweight for a large framed girl.

You can get a flat stomach without losing weight. You can also lose weight and not get the flat stomach you are looking for. To get that toned flat stomach takes exercises that will tone your stomach muscles. For lack of another name lets call them the six pack muscles.

I am going to assume for the sake of this writing that you are in your mid teens. If you start to exercise these muscles now; get them toned up then keep them tones. When you're older and want to have a baby and continue to exercise through your pregnancy; you will retain your flat stomach after pregnancy.

Weight lose and a tone body do not go hand in hand. IN actuality when you tone up a muscle you are trading fat for muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat so you may gain a pound or two while exercising. For you this would be a good thing.

What would be bad would be to lose the 10 pounds you talk about. It is far better to be 10 pounds overweight than 10 pounds underweight. Especially now when you going through puberty and you body needs to draw on those on all its resources to transform you from a girl to a women.

I'm not sure what or how they teach you about how the body works in school today. If you look at the body as an electric car the body works this way. The food you eat is the fuel for the heart, which is the electric motor. The engine supplies power to the brain; which is the control module that operates all the systems in the car; your body.

Now if there is not enough fuel to operate the heart at full power and keep the control center running. Directions are given to draw on the reserves. The reserves are the our body fat which we all need some of. If there is not sufficient body fat to draw on we are in trouble for the main goal of our body is to keep the brain alive. What happens next if not corrected quickly can and will lead to death. Don't take my word for it ask your doctor.

When there is insufficient fuel and insufficient fat the body starts to shut down different systems it feels it can live without. First the kidneys start to malfunction; then the liver. Now you're in the hospital. If the doctors cannot correct these two problems then the heart and lungs start fail and finally the brain dies. This is what kills people suffering from Anorexia Nervosa.

My advise to you now that I have explained the dangers of losing 10 pounds to you is not to lose that weight. You are for all intensive purposes at the low end of the proper weight for someone of your height if you are small framed. IF you are of a larger frame size you need to gain weight and I suggest you see your doctor for a complete physical to make sure you have not damaged anything by being underweight.

Am I trying to scare you. YES; to many young girls try look as the models in the magazines. Even the models in the magazines don't look like the pictures. Those pictures are all enhanced to make the models look better than they do.

if any girl got her period within 10 days after sex...is their any chances of getting peragnent?

You have asked this question now three times. Accept the answers that have been given. She is not pregnant. Also pay attention in English class as your spelling is atrocious.

Boyfriend 68 and im 65..We are renewing and old relationship from over 30 years ago.
He calls every night for past 8 months and sees me when he can..
He bitches about spending the lowest amount of money when we are out...Yet he gambles alot.
He doesn't buy me presents yet buys presents for his friends..
What is with this man?

I'm closer to your age and male. Dragonflymagic is younger than both of us and is female so you're getting opinions from all sides of the spectrum.

Dragonflymagic is correct; as we get older we get stuck in our ways. He is not going to change. He is a gambler who likes to impress his friends. The relationship you are trying to rekindle may have a different meaning to him than it does for you. He may not be looking for a new partner in life where as you may be. If you are looking for gifts and nice dinners from him to show his interest and commitment to you; you may have the wrong man.

It's funny in a weird sort of way that when we reach this age, I'm the same age as he is. Many of us who may be single, divorced or widowed become like pubescent teenagers again. We look for only one thing and we become players again. I can't say this is what your boyfriend is for I don't know him.

If flowers, gifts and nice restaurants are important to you then you should consider having a conversation with him. One where you ask him just what his intentions are. If his intentions are strictly for a buggy ride then you have a decision to make. Changing him to be more considerate towards you with gifts and other things you would like to see and have is something I don't see forthcoming from him regardless of his intentions.

I m virgin we both were bathing n he washed his penis before bathing with water n hand with detol and then we started.bathing. And soap were also used we both took a bath for more tgan 5 minutes abd than I was ob him and sitting on him we both were in underwear and then some motions was there as per him no ejaculation was there but. It was just 30 sec I was sitting on him so for precum I m not sure.. Can a girl become oregnent from this situation plzzz tell me 100% sure ans me only 21 f student please reply fast

I believe I answered this question yesterday. Below is the answer I gave at that time. Our answers generally do not change just because you changed the wording of your Question or others will answer it because you asked it again.

It is doubtful, it all depends on whether he ejaculated (cumed) and whether any of his sperm was able to get inside you.

If he didn't ejaculate or have any precum then you should not have a problem. IF he did ejaculate or had some precum then statistically there is a chance of you getting pregnant; somewhere less than 1%.

If you're concerned which will cause you some stress, stress alone could cause you to miss your period, causing you more stress. I suggest you take a home pregnancy test for no other reason than to settle your nerves.

If you and your boyfriend are going to be fooling around like this either you need to be on birth control medication or he needs to wear a condom. I know it sounds silly to have him wear a condom if you're not going to have intercourse. A condom is the best way to corral his semen so there is no accidental spillage near you vagina that would allow them to swim in and get you pregnant.

I am married with 3 children and 1 step-child. I should start by saying that my mother is not a mean person. So here goes, my mother is a widow of 3 years and I know she can get lonely at times. I try to include her in things we do as a family. If it's just me and her, I constantly hear about how my husbands family thinks they are perfect and how we always do stuff with them (which she was invited to but said no). I know his family isn't perfect but they are nice to me and my children and that's all that matters. If my children do anything wrong, she tells me that I need to punish them in a certain way. If I try to talk to her about some of the things that bother me, I constantly hear about how much she does for me and the kids and I don't appreciate her. She still treats me like a child and it's driving me crazy. I want to talk to her about it but I know it will be an ugly scene and she doesn't listen to what I have to say. How do I let her know that I'm an adult and can take care of myself and family without starting a huge fight? The last time I tried, she barely spoke to me for a month and laid a huge guilt trip on me and I end up apologizing just to end it. Also, we work at the same place and she sometimes tells my personal business that I don't want shared. She thinks she's being funny but I don't find it funny. Any advice is appreciated!

Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. I got the better end of the deal as far as mother in-laws went when my wife and I married. We moved her when my father’s boss offered me a job. My parents found us an apartment while we went back home to pack are things and move here is how we ended up living across the street from them.

At one point in our marriage my parents lived just across the street from us and we had to listen to some of the same things you are listening to, my wife especially. I told my wife the best thing we could do to keep our sanity and to maintain peace in the family was in a sense become ducks where my mother was concerned. We just had to learn to let what she said roll of our backs. I of course had long ago learned to turn a deaf ear to my mom when needed; something my wife had to learn.

I have also learned now that my child is an adult and left the nest; that we as parents and grandparents now feel that we need to mentor our children. Why; well let’s face it, we raised you and you turned out okay. What do you know about child raising. Since you turned out okay we did something right and our advice or mentoring should be invaluable to you. We forget what it was like for us and with our parents who maybe did to us what we are now doing to you.

This may be the reason your mother is the way she, it does not make it right. I might be one of the few parents who have gotten the message to keep my advice to myself until asked as your question is not unique to this site.

The best and only advice I can give you that will keep peace in the family and peace between you and your mom is.

1) Stop sharing personal things that you don't want spread around the office with her. I realize this may be hard to do and may subject you to a battery of questions from her that your answer has to be; "its personal mom not something I want to share right now." Hopefully she will get the message. This is the only way to keep what you don't want going around the office from going around the office.

2) With everything else just learn to say yes mom, your right mom, I'll talk with my husband about that, or whatever is appropriate to what she is talking to you about. Just let the conversations go in one ear, store what you want to sore and let the rest go out the other ear. When she leaves or not with you, you do as you please. Most importantly this is your family, your children. You and your husband have the only say in how you raise them. Whatever advice mom gives, if it is advise you like retain it; just give an appropriate positive answer and let it go out the other ear and do as you see fit.

We had to do this with my mom. Maybe it is not the right was to handle the problem but it did keep peace in the family until she passed away.

18 F
I've been battling depression for about a year now and i think I've been getting better but every once and a while I have a relapse. The other night I had a break down and I started cutting again and it got bad. I've now got a whole load of scars that weren't there before. I have also been dating my boyfriend for two months now but for the past two weeks he has been on vacation and now he gets back in four days and I don't know what I'm going to do. He's only seen the old marks which had faded decently and he thinks I'm better. How am I suppose to explain these marks to him?! He's going to be discusted with me and hate me for how pathetic and weak I am. I don't know what to do and I'll know he'll see them and hate me. I don't want I lose him over my weakness. Someone please help :(

And yes I have seen a doctor and therapy so please no lectures about going to the doctor and taking pills blah blah cuz they don't work. And none have worked for the past six months

First lets calm down. I am someone who has suffered with depression as you are so lets talk about that first.

The pills will work if you are getting the right medication prescribed by the right type of doctor. Many states allow any doctor who has done a rotation in psychiatry during their residency can practice psychiatry. A simple rotation is psychiatry does not mean they are the most competent doctor to practice psychiatry.

You should be seeing a Board Certified Psychiatrist. The difference is the A Board Certified Psychiatrist has completed a Fellowship in psychiatry and past all the required tests to be certified by the College of Psychiatry.

If your medication is not working and you are taking it as prescribed; then you need different medication. If you are not seeing a Board Certified Psychiatrist for your depression, then find one and make an appointment. Bring your medication with you. It is even money the psychiatrist will change your medication and will have follow up visits with you to
make sure the medication is working and adjust as needed.

These medications take time to work. They need to build up in your system. They are not like antibiotics where you take the pills today and start to feel better in a day or two. These medications take weeks to build up in your system and you slowly start to feel the effects. The medication I was on took four weeks for me to work up to the clinical dosage and I think it was another few weeks, maybe 3, before I started to feel better. So call it 2 months before I felt better. The thing is you have to take the medication as prescribe each day around the same time each day.

You also need to be in talk therapy with a clinical psychologist. The psychologist is someone you can talk to about anything and everything secure in the knowledge that what is said in therapy stays in therapy. The psychologist will help you find the answers to your questions, help you stop cutting and find what is causing the depression which is causing you to harm yourself.

Now as to your boyfriend. If he loves you he will want to help you;let him. You don't have to say much to him other than while he was away you relapsed and now that he's home, with his help you can try again to get better. If I was him I would hug you and tell you that you're safe with me and we will work together to help you.

If this happens and if he loves you as you love him I'm pretty sure it will. Ask if he will come to some of your therapy sessions. You ask your therapist when this should happen.

My depression came on after I was in a disabling auto accident. Without the love and support of my wife and son I don't think I would have been cured. They both (my son is an adult) were both pro active in my recovery. Let your family and boyfriend help you recover. See the proper doctors and take your medications as prescribed. IF you need me to answer questions I will be here and you can send me a private message at anytime and I will answer.

I swear I'm just a writer who needs to know this for accuracy

Okay so i have a character who was physically abused as a child and currently wears an eyepatch. Her brother and guardian (and abuser) only ever did the bare minimum to take care of her (i have my reasons but it doesnt matter for this) and after she turned 12 he raped her out of anger, and i was planning to have that be when he takes a knife and stabs her in the eye as a punishment, then drops her off kind of in the middle of nowhere. My question is, how long- if at all- could she survive that knife wound? If you dont think she could survive it with no medical treatment, then how else could i tie a wound to her eye into that situation and she can survive (preferably for roughly an hour- hour 1/2 before another character finds her)

This is the most unique question I have ever chosen to answer. Though as an amateur writer myself I can see why you are stuck.

As a former first responder I can tell you that knife wounds are different than bullet wounds. There are many factors that come into play with a knife wound that don't factor in with a bullet wound.

For instance what type of knife is it. There are literally hundreds of knives to choose from. A pen knife would have a blade that is not long enough to penetrate through the eye into the brain. Then depending on where in the eye the knife goes does it hit an artery or a vein. Does the knife stay in the eye or does someone remove it. With a knife wound it is best if it is left in the wound as it can act as a stopper for the bleeding until the person is gotten to a doctor or hospital.

So first you have to choose the type of knife you abuser uses. Then chose the length of the blade if it isn't obvious from the type you have chosen for the attackers to use. Then If it is long enough what part of the brain will it penetrate and is a knife wound to that part of the brain lethal.

Frankly stabbing someone in the eye is probably not going to be lethal unless an artery is cut. At worse the person will be blinded as the retina will be torn. TO actually penetrate the brain the knife would have to be strong enough and large enough to penetrate the skull. Most people are not that strong.

So the chances are good your victim could survive the knife wound.

Question: This is a strange topic to be writing about. Would you care to tell me why you have chosen this topic?

I did the dumbest thing and cheated on my exam and got caught, we were allowed to bring an outline of our essay for the exam but i also brought an extra piece of paper. When our teacher entered the class and checked our papers i hid mine and he didnt see it. After a while the substitute noticed me with an extra piece of paper and after the exam she said she wanted to hand in all my papers. I just lied to my father everything went well. I'm not scared to get suspended but im scared to disappoint my father..What should i do? I have 2 more days of school and then the whole summer with him until i go to boarding school! Help please..
P.S im in 8th grade

Honesty is the best policy. I suggest you tell you dad the truth so he can be prepared for whatever happens with school and your exam. I'm not sure what the problem is by having an extra sheet of paper would be, especially and hopefully if it was blank.

If you were my daughter and you were truthful with me to begin with. Then I could argue for you with the school for having an extra sheet of blank paper as seems to be a no harm no foul situation to me. If I'm not prepared and I'm blindsided by the school say by a phone call; how can I defend you.

Given what I have just written above. My suggestion is you go to your father and tell him the truth.

I am a 25 year old female and I don't know what's wtong with me. I akready go to pineland 3 says a week on meds and I am still having problem s with my mental health. I am real emotional all time like for instance one minute ill be all hyper and happy and the next I will be agitated and ready to come unglued over every little thike like for instance I came home from pineland to find that my niece had stuff all over my bed and I snapped but stugf lack that dosnt usually bother me and I bursted into tears anf told her to get out of my site. Why would I cry over something like that. When I was in group today and I was reading some material I noticed that I kept getting lost in mid sentence and the sentenceskept running together and couldn't concentrate. Like I said I am already on celexa f or anxiety and depression and I am on adderall for adhd but why am I getting mad so easy because I've never had problems with anger before and ehy does my moods keep switching like a light switch that's never happened and for the past month I have been crying for ehat seems to be no reason at all why?

None of us are doctors so we can't make a diagnoses.

You need to speak with your treating psychiatrist. What is happening sounds like it could be a side effect of the medication you're on or that your depression is becoming more manic.

If you depression is changing then you medications will most likely need to be changed as well. In either case if this is a side effect or your depression is changing only your treating psychiatrist can change your medications.

When you are next at Pineland tell one of the nurses or your group psychologist you're having problems and need to speak with your treating psychiatrist.

So I am a 19 year old girl from Europe who moved to LA last June.
I met a guy the first week I came here and eventually we started dating. He's 23 from around LA and unfortunately in a gang.

Just so we're clear, I am not one of those girls who looks for danger and would intentionally date a gang member. It just happened.

I just recently told my parents I've been seeing someone for a little over a year and that I'm in love. They don't know anything about him, just his name.
The thing is, I know how they would react if I told them what he does. I know how every parent would react..
He's really a great guy and never put me in danger

So basically I'm just looking for advice on how to tell my parents about him. Or should I not mention some things ?

Since I am old enough to be you father, actually old enough to be your grandfather, let me put myself in your fathers shoes for a minute.

If I was your father and I was to find out, either from you or on my own, you were dating an LA gang member. You would be on a plane back home so fast your head would not stop spinning for a week.

Speaking as myself now. I know you're in love and I know love is blind. I also know about the notorious LA Gang Bangers. While you may think he would never hurt you that is not quite true. His allegiance is to his gang, first, last and always.

Nothing good will come of this relationship and you will end up being hurt; possibly in more way than just one. My advice is you not only tell your parents about your boyfriend. You get on a plane and go home for a while. If you wish to live in THE USA you can come back after a while, maybe, and find someplace else to live.

around 18th april my g.f got the period then on 5th may i did sex with my g.f and on 13th may she got her period so is their any chance of peragnent??

Absolutely none. When a woman gets her period it is the cleansing of her womb to ready it for her next fertility cycle. What is happening is the lining of the womb is being cleansed to be made ready for a Fetus to attach to and grow into a child.

So if a woman is having her period it means that anything in her womb is being discharged out of her during her period. This would include any unfertilized egg. So for the month of May you guys are safe.

If you and your GF are going to be sexually active then be responsible and use a condom; not only for pregnancy protection but for your own health as well. Get use to wearing a condom during sex until and when you are in a long term loving relationship with someone, as in living together and you have both been tested for STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Condoms are very good at protecting you from many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.

Remember when having unprotected sex with someone you are having sex with every partner they have had sex with. Some STDs take time to incubate and your partner may not know they are infected; still the virus can transfer to you. This and the fact that a condom is 85% effective in preventing pregnancy when worn correctly is why you should always wear one. Even if the girl is on birth control the health reasons alone are reason enough and the condom makes for almost 100% protection against pregnancy.

Me and my boyfriend fooling.around.while bathing he was sitting on him we both were wearing underwear and then we take a bath... And after that we start kissing and. Up.n.down.motion and still we both were in underwear can I.still get pregnent.

It is doubtful, it all depends on whether he ejaculated (cumed) and whether any of his sperm was able to get inside you.

If he didn't ejaculate or have any precum then you should not have a problem. IF he did ejaculate or had some precum then statistically there is a chance of you getting pregnant; somewhere less than 1%.

If you're concerned which will cause you some stress, stress alone could cause you to miss your period, causing you more stress. I suggest you take a home pregnancy test for no other reason than to settle your nerves.

If you and your boyfriend are going to be fooling around like this either you need to be on birth control medication or he needs to wear a condom. I know it sounds silly to have him wear a condom if you're not going to have intercourse. A condom is the best way to corral his semen so there is no accidental spillage near you vagina that would allow them to swim in and get you pregnant.

I guess I should fill you in on what started the whole mess that is my life. OK I was married for 5 years then divorced we had a 4 yr old son at the time so I thought it would be best to leave him with his father at the time. I found out I was wrong about that. he would use it against me when he was upset about anything and also threaten to take him away from the grandparents if they didn't do as he wanted.He got himself into a psycho relationship that ended up in court, she wouldn't leave him alone, so he said if we got married again she would leave him alone. So with me being ME saw a way to get the custody arrangement tossed and doing nothing without a reason agreed,in name only. I asked him if he could live in a loveless marriage with no relationship between us only our sons parents I would do what and who I want and he do the same, he said yes.NOW it's been 4 years and he seems to have forgotten that conversation. I have met and started seeing someone for the past couple months but haven't told him. How do I go about telling him without hurting him? I know he loves me but I do not love him am not at all attracted to him, he never goes out has no friends except me and family. I do not plan on divorce and the other guy knows about my situation and is ok with it but wants more time together as do I. We don't want to feel as we are cheating. can you help me please

Let me see if I understand you correctly. For different reason, none of which had to do with loving each other but a means to an end for each of you. The two of you remarried on the basis that it would be an open marriage. There was to be no affection shown between you, no sex, hugging or kissing. Just two people raising their child.

I have heard of people having open marriages but this one is off the charts. By what else you have written your husband, in name only, has fallen back in love with you, though you are not in love with him. You have found someone you want to have a relationship, affair with, under the rules of your call it marriage contract but you are afraid of hurting your husbands’ feelings.

You must have some feelings for your husband or you would not care if you hurt his feelings. That is just my opinion though. You most certainly are between a rock and a hard place.

You both went into this went marriage with your eyes open. You married him to save him from a psycho woman. Now you want to exercise your rights under your contract of marriage. You should have every right to do so and he should not be stopping you. The fact that he has changed his mind or feelings for you do not change the contract you made from bilateral to a unilateral contract. Now this all has to do with contract law and nothing to do with this situation. As this contract would most likely not stand up in court verbal or written.

I say this only for the fact that it makes a good argument when and if you tell him. If you have related everything in your agreement and there is nothing in the agreement to say that one must notify the other of an affair then you have no reason to say anything to him. Should you tell him? I believe the answer is yes for moral reasons alone.

The best way to tell him is straight out and you deal with the consequences as they come. You're in a different situation now and know what you need to do if he says if you do we are through. Living together for the sake of a child is never a good option. Whether you believe this or not the children of such marriages generally suffer because of it. Eventually your son will pick up on the fact that his parents’ marriage is different from his friend’s parents. How do you propose to handle that question?

My husband is in the military and after 13 years he is separating due to medical reasons. He wants to move back to our hometown to be near both of our families, primarily his mother and aunt. Well, I am hesitate. I didn't have the best childhood due to both of my parents being alcoholics. They both still drink heavily and can get violent and emotional when doing so. My oldest brother still lives in the area and drinks excessively as well. To top it off, my sister-in-law and her husband live about an hour away and love to drink and party and are somewhat open swingers. Their sexually active 15 year old daughter is free to do as she pleases and their 12 year old son is often left on his own. While I respect my husband for wanting to be near his mother and his disabled aunt, I am having a hard time dealing with the fact of being near the rest of our family. While it would be nice to be near family, this is not the situation I have envisioned. I don't want our children thinking drinking excessively and having multiple partners is okay. Should I accept the fact we are moving back and deal with the situation as it comes or continue trying to talk my husband into moving somewhere else?

I agree with you that moving back to the old home town is probably not a good idea. I think it is admirable of your husband that he wants to be near his mother and Aunt so he can care for them; he also has to think about you and his children. Exposing his children to your family is not the best parenting option available to him.

I would like to suggest an alternative. This alternative option is made not knowing just where in the country you will be relocating to so it may not be applicable. Is it possible to move to a town or to the next state over that is within a reasonable driving time from there to his mother and Aunt. A reasonable driving time could be anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes away.

As a retired volunteer firefighter I can tell you that in certain emergencies you are never close enough. So I recommend to all to take comfort in the fact that we in the emergency services will do all possible to care for your loved one and get them to a doctor.

It is better in any medical emergency to rely on the 911 system to respond and care for your families emergency and to treat them while enroute to a hospital. We can do so better and faster than you can even if you live next door.

With the above in mind moving a town or two away that is within a reasonable, to your husband, driving distance to his mother and Aunt. Seems like a good compromise. He is close enough that it is not a hardship to drive over and see them. Yet far enough away that your children are not exposed to your family.

I'm a 21 year old male. I have a problem while peeing. When I start peeing the tip of my penis seems to burn a lot and when I get done peeing I feel like still need to go but nothing comes out and it all burns. Here and there I get a achy feeling between my testicals and butt. Some times if i like push up on my penis like on the urethra tube a couple drops of a cloudy fluid comes out its like cloudy whitish gray. Its not come its not sticky or anything its almost like pre come stuff but I'm not sexually excited. Ive looked up symptoms of prostate infections and chymidia and they are very close its just with the std it says you get a greenish leak of fluid or blood which I don't have. And the problem where I get done peeing and the feeling there like still having to pee seems like it leans to the prostate. Also the whitish fluid could be seminal fluid leaked by the prostate. My prostate does get infected a lot just never had this much of a problem in my penis area also when I have sex and ejaculate it kinda hurts like the fluid is blocked coming out it tingles a little and in the area between testicals and butt it hurts. Any input on this I'd appreciate it thanks everyone

You need to see a doctor today if possible. From what you are describing you could have anything from a urinary tract infect, a Bladder infection or an STD.

Have you had any unprotected sex with anyone in say the last six months. If so you are going to want to make sure to tell the doctor so you can be checked for STDS.

If you have had unprotected sex with anyone in the last six months then this is important enough to go to a hospital emergency room to be checked out. In a hospital emergency room they have the lab on site where they can do the primary testing for STDS and certain other type of urinary tract infections that your doctors office and most clinics won't have.

I’m in my early 20s. I’m in college for my second degree. I’m working. I never had a boyfriend, not married, and had no kids.
I have this older sister by 3 years. She went through a rebellious phase in her late teens. She dropped out of high school and ran off with a guy she met online, who lived 4 states away with his mom. 3 years later she came back after he dumped her for another girl. She met another guy almost year later, had a one nightstand and got pregnant. Now she has two kids and works full time. Her boyfriend works on and off.
I help her raise her daughters. So we are always hanging out. Sometimes she would causally say these hurtful things to me that make me feel like she resents me.
Here are some of the things she would say:
I don’t remember growing up with you at all.
You don’t know anything about real life. You just think you do because of all the books you read and movies you watch.
You can’t talk to people that’s why you’ll never have a boyfriend or friends.
You have an old lady’s style. Maybe if you learn to dress better and wear make-up than you might find a boyfriend.
She didn’t out right ask me but she asked me these weird questions. They make me think that she thinks that there was something going on between me and her boyfriend, the father of her children. There was not. I was offended that the thought even crossed her mind. I don’t find her boyfriend attractive and he’s kind of a deadbeat.
She’s a sensitive person. I love her and would never say anything that would upset her but it seems like she’s not considerate of my feelings. I don’t mind her talking about finding a boyfriend, life, or clothes. The one that hurt me the most out of all this was that she doesn’t remember me growing up. I was there. I had great childhood memories. I, another sister, and she were always playing together. But she suddenly said she only remembered my other sister but not me. It broke my heart. I told my mom about it and she told me not to be sad. My mom said my sister doesn’t remember me because all the drugs and alcohol she took when she was a teenager. I don’t know if that’s true or not but it doesn’t make me feel better. My mom also thinks that my sister says these things because she’s jealous that I am single and free to do as I please. I don’t have the type of responsibilities she does.
What’s your opinion?

Let me start by saying I am old enough to be your grandfather. Since I am of that age I believe a little grandfatherly advice is in order.

I tend to agree with you mom; I not sure about the drugs and alcohol as I do not know your sister. I can only base my opinion on what you have written. I believe based on this that; yes your sister is jealous of you and what you are accomplishing in life and what it will bring you.

Your sister is starting to realize that she has thrown her life away by dropping out of school, doing drugs and living with a guy that is too lazy to support his family. You on the other hand will have the education you will need to support yourself or a family in a lifestyle equal to or better than the one you had as children. This is the American dream and she is resentful of this. She has two alternatives at this point which are to support you or cut you down to her size and place. It appears she has chosen the latter.

It is obvious that you love your sister; in her own ways she loves you. Jealousy does not mean she hates you; in fact quite the opposite. People who are jealous of someone generally wish they were them or have what they have. I'm sure is you were to be hurt or get sick this sister would be the first one to be by your side to help you get better. In a weird way jealousy is more a form of love then hate for someone as it is a form of self-denial or despair for themselves.

What to do about this? I don't know your sister so I can only offer general advice. Understanding the underlying cause for your sisters’ hurtful statements to you is a start. Knowing this should make them less hurtful. One thing about someone who makes this type of statements if they see they are not getting anywhere with them they will eventually stop for as I said the jealousy behind the statement is a way to pull you down to their level. So try to be like a duck and just let the statements roll off your back.

All that you really can do for your sister is to continue to show your love for her and to be there for her when she needs someone. She has made her life what it is; if she wants better, if she wants what you may have? Then she must be willing to help herself first then you can offer to assist her.

I hope I have helped you.

Sometimes sex is painful for me. Like when we do doggy or missionary...are there any positions that are more comfortable. It hurts on my side too.

Your question is somewhat contradictory in what you have written. Generally speaking the doggy position allows for deeper penetration which could have your partner hitting your cervix causing you pain. In the missionary position penetration usually is not as deep unless your partners has a more than average length penis.

According to the latest Ansell Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.

Average Vagina Size

Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

The information I've shown above is the average so if your partner is above average and you are average then there is a chance you will suffer some pain during sex.

There are three ways to handle this:

First: Use positions such as women above where you can control the depth of penetration. In the missionary position put your knees on his chest to limit how deep he can penetrate you. Of course using this method will depend on just how long his penis is.

Second: Communication; just like everything else in life a good sex life depends on good communication between partners. Men you age are generally still somewhat inept as lovers. What I mean by this is they are still looking more to satisfy themselves than their partner. They may not admit to this though having been you are age at one time I know this to be true; especially if a relationship has not been entered into.

Third: If the problem is the diameter of his penis that is causing you pain. Just remember what comes out of your vagina. Your vagina is made to stretch and will stretch to accommodate your partners’ penis. You need to learn to relax those muscles (search the web for exercises). If you still have pain and cannot relax those muscles I suggest seeing your GYN. Don't be bashful about it as your GYN has heard this problem many times before.

He may be too quick and needs to slow down. He can shorten his stroke if need be especially if he is long in length. He won't know this unless you talk to him and tell him.

Sex is a beautiful thing between two consensual people and should be enjoyed by both. To do so you both must be open to one another and tell them what is good and what is bad. What you like and what you don't like. What you’re willing to try and what you won't try. You also need to remember that what happens in the privacy of your bedroom or wherever you have sex stays there. Nothing tries or don in the way of sexual enjoyment between two consenting people is weird. The operative word is consensual or consenting. This leaves a variety of positions available for you and your partner to try.

So I met my girlfriend a while back, but unfortunately we lived in different states so for a long time we were long distance and only saw each other every 4 or 5 months.
Now we are lucky enough to live together and it's a joy! I love it.
But.
Ever since moving in together I've had such a debilitating anxiety whenever she goes out without me or I go out without her.
It's not that I'm scared she'll cheat. I don't have any trust issues regarding that.
But even if she goes to grab lunch with a high school friend & I'm at work and can't join, I get this weird anxiety.
The worst is when she goes out at night.
I honestly get sick to my stomach and have to take an anti anxiety pill and force myself to sleep till she gets back.
I have always had a severe anxiety disorder. And I'm somewhat like this with my parents as well. Like if they're out and they don't pick up the phone I freak out. But with her it's 10x worse. It's driving me insane & I don't know what to do to make it better. Like I said, it's not a trust issue thing. It's like separation anxiety!
Any advice? :(

First we are not doctors and we cannot offer diagnoses or treatments. What we can do is offer suggestions as what are your best options.

Severe Anxiety is not something you can treat yourself. Yes, tranquilizers will relieve the stress by forcing you to relax but they will not treat the cause of the problem. This requires the help of professionals.

Severe Anxiety Disorder is also a form of depression. Stress causes depression; since anxiety is also caused by stress it would be normal for someone who suffers from Severe Anxiety Disorder to also suffer from some form of depression.

Based on what you have written your trigger, as it is called, for the anxiety could be another disorder called separation anxiety disorder as you write; "I have always had a severe anxiety disorder." It is somewhat common among young children to have separation anxiety which generally they grow out of as they get older and more understanding of why mom and dad need to go to work.

The ONLY way to treat you problem starts with a visit to a Board Certified Psychiatrist. The psychiatrist will evaluate you, prescribe medication(s) as may be needed and recommend talk therapy with a qualified Psychologist. It is in therapy with the psychologist where you will get the most help as in therapy you will work to find out what these triggers are, what triggers then and then how best to control them.

It is going to take some time to get to the actual cause of your problem. TO get there you have to be willing to work with the specialists and most importantly to be very open with them. Just remember that everything you say to them is confidential and never leaves the room unless you authorize it.

Your psychologist has to be someone your comfortable enough with that you are willing to tell your deepest darkest secrets. If you’re not comfortable with the first psychologist ask to be referred to another or find another one you can be comfortable with.

What all this boils down to is you need professional help to get better and this starts with a complete physical by your medical doctor. You need to have one to rule out any physical reason for your problem so make sure to tell your doctor why you are requesting a complete physical. The psychiatrist will request you have one anyway so you might as well start by having one and if you do not know of a Board Certified Psychiatrist ask you medical doctor to suggest or refer you to one.

With proper treatment you can gain control over this problem, I did.

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