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I screwed up and I don't know how to fix it. Please help!
18 F
I've been battling depression for about a year now and i think I've been getting better but every once and a while I have a relapse. The other night I had a break down and I started cutting again and it got bad. I've now got a whole load of scars that weren't there before. I have also been dating my boyfriend for two months now but for the past two weeks he has been on vacation and now he gets back in four days and I don't know what I'm going to do. He's only seen the old marks which had faded decently and he thinks I'm better. How am I suppose to explain these marks to him?! He's going to be discusted with me and hate me for how pathetic and weak I am. I don't know what to do and I'll know he'll see them and hate me. I don't want I lose him over my weakness. Someone please help :(
And yes I have seen a doctor and therapy so please no lectures about going to the doctor and taking pills blah blah cuz they don't work. And none have worked for the past six months
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hi, If your boyfriend will think that you are "pathetic and weak", hate you and be disgusted with you for having those scars, then you should honestly WANT him to break up with you. A good boyfriend should understand you and not be so ignorant as to not know that relapses happen all the time and that eventually, you will get better.
If by any chance, you aren't over-reacting and your boyfriend IS disgusted with you, please do your anonymous advice-giver a favor and either scold him or break up because he obviously doesn't deserve someone as fabulous as you.
Haha, sorry if some of that sounded a bit harsh!
Anyway, good luck <3- talldivaofbeverlyhillz
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Ok well sounds like you need to go back to therapy. Like adviceman said, it takes time and if those pills weren't working, there are others that can help. Obviously what you are doing right now isn't doing any better for yourself so you might as well try again.
Listen to adviceman on that part because he's more knowledgeable in that area.
Now as for your boyfriend, if he's going to be disgusted with you, hate you and think you're pathetic and weak, it sounds like you picked a crappy boyfriend. I would NEVER date someone who would think of me in that way because of a problem with cutting. I would want someone who would support me, love me and encourage me to get better.
If this is how he will react to that, you need to dump him.
If this is just you over reacting and he won't react that way, then just talk to him, tell him how you feel, be honest and get some help.
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ok first I would advice you to tell you boy friend this. I know you will hate me if I tell you these. the scar is me I got depressed I fill ashamed about it but I would not forgive my self if I lie to you about it and am working on it. thank god you here your presence is making feel better already.
secondly about the depression well I don't know much about it. but I think if you engaged yourself in activities you like and find a reason why you must not be depress, like I don't want to be depressed cause of my boy friend or something else, something you value and love. I think that will help
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First lets calm down. I am someone who has suffered with depression as you are so lets talk about that first.
The pills will work if you are getting the right medication prescribed by the right type of doctor. Many states allow any doctor who has done a rotation in psychiatry during their residency can practice psychiatry. A simple rotation is psychiatry does not mean they are the most competent doctor to practice psychiatry.
You should be seeing a Board Certified Psychiatrist. The difference is the A Board Certified Psychiatrist has completed a Fellowship in psychiatry and past all the required tests to be certified by the College of Psychiatry.
If your medication is not working and you are taking it as prescribed; then you need different medication. If you are not seeing a Board Certified Psychiatrist for your depression, then find one and make an appointment. Bring your medication with you. It is even money the psychiatrist will change your medication and will have follow up visits with you to
make sure the medication is working and adjust as needed.
These medications take time to work. They need to build up in your system. They are not like antibiotics where you take the pills today and start to feel better in a day or two. These medications take weeks to build up in your system and you slowly start to feel the effects. The medication I was on took four weeks for me to work up to the clinical dosage and I think it was another few weeks, maybe 3, before I started to feel better. So call it 2 months before I felt better. The thing is you have to take the medication as prescribe each day around the same time each day.
You also need to be in talk therapy with a clinical psychologist. The psychologist is someone you can talk to about anything and everything secure in the knowledge that what is said in therapy stays in therapy. The psychologist will help you find the answers to your questions, help you stop cutting and find what is causing the depression which is causing you to harm yourself.
Now as to your boyfriend. If he loves you he will want to help you;let him. You don't have to say much to him other than while he was away you relapsed and now that he's home, with his help you can try again to get better. If I was him I would hug you and tell you that you're safe with me and we will work together to help you.
If this happens and if he loves you as you love him I'm pretty sure it will. Ask if he will come to some of your therapy sessions. You ask your therapist when this should happen.
My depression came on after I was in a disabling auto accident. Without the love and support of my wife and son I don't think I would have been cured. They both (my son is an adult) were both pro active in my recovery. Let your family and boyfriend help you recover. See the proper doctors and take your medications as prescribed. IF you need me to answer questions I will be here and you can send me a private message at anytime and I will answer.
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First take a deep breath. Go to the nearest mirror and marvel at what a beautiful person you are! We all have issues, even the one's that seem like they have it all put together, have some hidden glue, tape and staples. Take one day at a time, but start with tiny steps, do things, find things that you love to do (even if you do not feel like doing them at the time), eventually your mind goes to better places, and soon you'll become addicted to positive activities, in a short time you will start to crave the positive side of life and you will start to seek GOOD THINGS! Taking pills, and or theraphy is only one part of getting better and in some instances not a necessary and only part, as a change in attitude can sometimes be more powerful and rewarding in the long term. Head up and soldier on, the world of GOOD THINGS awaits!!!
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