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Separation anxiety with my girlfriend?
So I met my girlfriend a while back, but unfortunately we lived in different states so for a long time we were long distance and only saw each other every 4 or 5 months.
Now we are lucky enough to live together and it's a joy! I love it.
But.
Ever since moving in together I've had such a debilitating anxiety whenever she goes out without me or I go out without her.
It's not that I'm scared she'll cheat. I don't have any trust issues regarding that.
But even if she goes to grab lunch with a high school friend & I'm at work and can't join, I get this weird anxiety.
The worst is when she goes out at night.
I honestly get sick to my stomach and have to take an anti anxiety pill and force myself to sleep till she gets back.
I have always had a severe anxiety disorder. And I'm somewhat like this with my parents as well. Like if they're out and they don't pick up the phone I freak out. But with her it's 10x worse. It's driving me insane & I don't know what to do to make it better. Like I said, it's not a trust issue thing. It's like separation anxiety!
Any advice? :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You sound JUST like my boyfriend. Unfortunately, that feeling won't go away. First of all, I believe that you need to talk to your woman, and let her know what's going on. Honesty, is always important. Keep things open with eachother, and your relationship shall thrive.
I do NOT know first hand what is going through your head. I'm in the girlfriends place however, and I know how she might feel. I live in Texas, and in early May, I went to Portland Oregon for ONE week. My boyfriend, was FREAKING out. He had every thing going through his head about what could be going wrong and it was driving him insane. I came back, and he was acting weird. He asked me to marry him that night. Turns out, that when we were together every day, (we too were in a long distance relationship, which lasted 9 months) and we were gone (my kids and myself) it drove him nuts. Love is a funny thing, and you learn a lot about yourself and the other person when you're apart.
you should talk to a professional, about these feelings that you're experiencing, because it could turn into something serious. I hope this helps, at least a little bit...
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First we are not doctors and we cannot offer diagnoses or treatments. What we can do is offer suggestions as what are your best options.
Severe Anxiety is not something you can treat yourself. Yes, tranquilizers will relieve the stress by forcing you to relax but they will not treat the cause of the problem. This requires the help of professionals.
Severe Anxiety Disorder is also a form of depression. Stress causes depression; since anxiety is also caused by stress it would be normal for someone who suffers from Severe Anxiety Disorder to also suffer from some form of depression.
Based on what you have written your trigger, as it is called, for the anxiety could be another disorder called separation anxiety disorder as you write; "I have always had a severe anxiety disorder." It is somewhat common among young children to have separation anxiety which generally they grow out of as they get older and more understanding of why mom and dad need to go to work.
The ONLY way to treat you problem starts with a visit to a Board Certified Psychiatrist. The psychiatrist will evaluate you, prescribe medication(s) as may be needed and recommend talk therapy with a qualified Psychologist. It is in therapy with the psychologist where you will get the most help as in therapy you will work to find out what these triggers are, what triggers then and then how best to control them.
It is going to take some time to get to the actual cause of your problem. TO get there you have to be willing to work with the specialists and most importantly to be very open with them. Just remember that everything you say to them is confidential and never leaves the room unless you authorize it.
Your psychologist has to be someone your comfortable enough with that you are willing to tell your deepest darkest secrets. If you’re not comfortable with the first psychologist ask to be referred to another or find another one you can be comfortable with.
What all this boils down to is you need professional help to get better and this starts with a complete physical by your medical doctor. You need to have one to rule out any physical reason for your problem so make sure to tell your doctor why you are requesting a complete physical. The psychiatrist will request you have one anyway so you might as well start by having one and if you do not know of a Board Certified Psychiatrist ask you medical doctor to suggest or refer you to one.
With proper treatment you can gain control over this problem, I did.
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