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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Im 14 and in year 9 and on my school trip some boys took my phone and ran into their tent with it, I'm a hot head and went in to get it instead of asking for help... I went in and they tackled me and all piled on I shouted for help and a teacher came but, you know how that looks one girl in a tent with loads of boys... I got told off by the teacher even though I explained what happened and they told my mum. She came to have a word with me and seemed so disappointed in me cause she works at the school and what I do reflects on her too but I had no bad in tensions and yet I still feel so nguilty and I know my mum is really upset...I'm very confused what do I do?

The only thing I can see that you did wrong by what you have written here is not asking for help in retrieving your phone. Talk to your mother again and ask her to have the principal call these boys to the office and see if they can't be made to tell the truth about what happened if they haven't already done so.

If they have I can't see why you mom is disappointed in you. Stealing your phone was done to my mind to lure you into their tent. This makes what they did unlawful on two counts of the law. The first was stealing your phone. Based on the price of some phones today the boy who actually stole your phone is subject to felony theft charges in many states. Stealing your phone to lure you into the boys tent makes all the boys in that tent subject to charges of sexual harassment. For the boys who piled on you they are subject to sexual assault charges and if they attempted to tear or remove your clothing that makes them guilty of attempted rape.

These are all serious charges that you can bring against these boys. You don't need anyone's permission. What I suggest though is first you talk with mom and you and she talk with the principal. You need tell mom what these boys were doing to you besides just piling on you.

If any hand or hands were in places they should not have been and you said stop, no or get off me. Then they have committed sexual assault and very possible attempted rape. These boys should be expelled from school and reported to the police.

From what you have written you are an innocent victim. Mom working at the school does not negate the fact that you are a victim. You are do justice for this attack and the theft of your property and you have every right to demand it.

This is what you tell your mother in detail as to what happened to you in that tent before help arrived. Then you go to the principal and demand they take the appropriate action.

How to let go of a loved one?

There are different ways of letting go of a loved one mostly based on the reason you need to let go. The most obvious reason for letting go of a loved one is the death of a loved one. For this only time will help.

When a wife, husband, mother, father, sibling, grandparent or other close relative passes; time has to heal the wound. There is a grieving process that we all must go through. There are several different stages to the grieving process. Some of us will go through all the different stages before we will come to terms with the loss and others will only go through 1 or 2. We all seem to go through the stage of anger for our loved one leaving us.

If we are talking about a love relation break up it is very similar to losing someone through death. How much this hurts and how long it will take to get over him or her depends on how long the relationship was. Anger is going to be part of the grieving over the lost relationship.

The difference here is that you can replace the lost love by getting out and finding someone new. The sooner you do so the sooner the hurt goes away and the sooner you get over that person.

Pets fall into this as well. The death of a beloved pet will cause the same grief as losing a loved one. Pets become members of the family and it is not unusual to suffer the same feeling when they die or if they run off.

Since you did not say who the lost love was and why you lost that loved on. These are all the loses I can think of and why you could lose them. Hopefully this may help. Time heals all wounds as the saying goes. It is a true saying; give yourself time to grieve then get on with your life.

I am 12 years old and my weight is 50 what can I do

Is this 50 lbs. or 50 Kg? Your question is a little open ended. Being 12 and 50 Lbs. seems quite a bit underweight to me. Then again I don't know your height or frame size which factor in to the equation. If this 50 Kg then your weight is probably about right for an average frame and height. What does your doctor say about your weight?

If you can answer the questions I ask then I believe I and others can offer you some advice as to what you can do.

This is an addition to the question of the man and woman dating who are 65& 68
Adviceman..(there is no "buggy ride" he is enjoying..There are medical problems on his part..So using me is not in the equation.
We both lived together some 46 years ago and
he loved me very much but I messed it up then..Sad to say..
We both have been through alot...His gambling is not to "impress friends"..mostly he is alone and developed the habit of casinos as a way to relax and not to think...(again alot of hardship). He has 2 or 3 friends...And it is not the situation for him to brag or ty to impress...
But I did respect your answer and appreciate it..I don't want to break up with him..And I have spoken to him--not about the money situation but as to whether he cares or how much..He says he does..He is quite different from what he was even a few years ago..(we kept touch all these 46 years)...But he had a stroke last year>> I wonder if that has anything to do with it..He had a minor breakdown, then develped diabetes and then the stroke..

We are not doctors so I can't make a diagnoses . What I can say is depending on the type of stroke he had and what damage was done a personality change is a definite possibility as a result of the stroke. Any other medical problems he has such as the diabetes and whether or not he is compliment with medications and treatments will also have an effect. The breakdown and whether he sought treatment could be at play in what you are seeing as well.

You could also be seeing the early signs of dementia. It is really hard to say without knowing the person and without speaking with his doctors. The best thing you could do for him is to ask him to allow you to go with him to visit his doctors. He may not be fully hearing or processing what his doctors are saying. Having you there to hear what the doctor says will help him and help you with your concerns.

I think death is my answer. I have no life . How can I end it all I'm chicken but I want to. Or give my life to someone who really needs it like a cancer patient... but not sure if I'll be around long enough to read and answer that no one gives a cap about but I don't have anyone I can talk to. Who knows but that's my best bet ....

So far there are at least 3 people that give a crap. Me and the two others that have written back to you.

If you have written to us for help in dying you have come to the wrong place. We are not here to help you die, but we will help you live. I know it seems to you that there is no other solution to whatever is bothering you then to end your life. Death is not a solution, it is not even the answer to a question.

I would like to help you live; we can start with why you feel no one gives a crap. There are three of us that give a crap or we would not have answered you. To help you though we need more information. I have been doing this for a long time and I know that for every problem there is a solution. I know this from my advice here and personally for when I suffered from a deep depressive episode.

When a person contemplates suicide it is because they are suffering from some form of depression. This depression alters our perception of things so we are not seeing things exactly as they are. This is where we and the people or organizations that I will offer to you, who I believe can offer you more one on one, help can help you.

I learned and so will you that there is no problem so huge it can't be corrected. You will also learn that the people you know do care about you each in their own way. Your parents care about you so do your siblings. They may not show it in the manner you think it should be shown but the do care and your dying would cause them a great deal of hurt.

I'm going to offer you two hotlines to call for help. One or both should be able to help you get the help you need to get past whatever it is that is bothering you.

If after reading all of this you still feel suicidal please call 911 and ask for help. Calling 911 is the fastest way to get the help you need.

Hotlines Call 24/7

1-800-273-8255 - National Suicide Prevention Hotline: No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

1-800-668-6868 - Kids Help Phone: They offer phone counseling to people under 20.

Both hotlines are free and everything you tell them is totally confidential. So please call one or both.

I consider myself a bi sexual male to female crossdresser bordering on transgender. On four occasions 2 years ago I went out to an area in town where hookers work and prostituted myself. Three of the times were for a few nights each and the forth was for about 5 weeks. I needed money for food and rent and this was the easiest way to get some money. Now two years later I am still living full time as a female but I have a sugar daddy paying for everything. The thing is that I really found working as a prostitute exciting and a huge turn on for me. I enjoyed being with all of those guys and loved bringing them to orgasm. I am not ashamed for doing it and do not care who knows that I am an ex prostitute. Even girls I date find it exciting and want to have sex with me just because of my hooking. Should I just go ahead and do it again?

I can not endorse what you desire to do as I see it as a great health risk to you. Having a homosexual relationship with one person, a person you know, with taking proper precautions has its health risks. TO prostitute yourself and have homosexual relations with total strangers is a risk I can not endorse.

There are other risks associated with being a prostitute that you were luck did not befall you. Prostitutes have been known to be raped, beaten up and even murdered. Homosexual prostitutes are more susceptible to this do to certain members of society's anti gay feeling and gay bashing. The fact that this would be looked at as a hate crime does not do you any good if you're in the hospital or worse in the morgue.

Then there is your sugar Daddy; how would he feel about you prostituting yourself? It is one thing if this was the only way to put a roof over your head and food in your belly. It sounds like this is not a problem so why ruin a good thing just for a thrill.

It appears you're looking for permission to do so and I just cannot find a good reason to give you permission.

18/f

I want to stay the night this weekend at my boyfriends house.
My boyfriend has commented recently that I never go to his place (20 mins by train) but he always makes the effort to come to mine.

We've never stayed over at each others homes before. We've been dating for 7 months.

My mum is pretty strict. Whenever I even suggest that my boyfriend wants me to come to his house just for the day, she'll say "Well I'd prefer it if she came here for the day"

But I can't allow this anymore because it's making my boyfriend upset and his family think I don't like them.

How do I encourage my mum to let me stay over at his house? I mean his parents will be there, I'll bring a sleeping bag, I know I'll be safe but she is highly overprotective!

The fact is that legally you are an adult when you turn 18 in the eyes of the law and your parents no longer have any say over anything in your life. That is the legal stand point of the situation. The reality is that most all parents have a house rule that goes something like this: "If you live in my house you live by my rules." This rule trumps the law for this rule says; you want to live here, drive our car, have money for school so on and so forth then we as parents still have the right to have a say in what you do and how you do it. This rule literally puts you between a rock and hard place.

In reality this is the time when parents have to back off an let you live your life with guidance form them. Guidance meaning we inform you if we do not agree with what you want to do and explain why. It does not mean we forbid or threaten you in any way. In order to learn we need to make mistakes this is how we learn the best. Hopefully the mistakes are little ones that we as parents can help you correct.

What your parents are worried about, even if his parents are going to be there is SEX. What happens when his parents go to sleep. Here again legally you are entitled to a sex life, you’re an adult no and entitled to all the privileges of an adult which include a sex life. This being said the House rule comes into play here for the parents to try and blunt you having any sex life until they feel you are old enough or married.

What you have to do are what all teenagers who turn 18 need to do. You need to remind your parents that you are an adult now. That you love them and you respect them and you want to continue to respect them but you need the space that your age entitles you too. Yes you will make mistakes and yes they will always know where you are going and what your intentions are. Yes you will listen and consider any advice they wish to offer but you have to start making your own way in the world otherwise how will you ever be able to make your way in the work and have a family of your own.

I'm not sure who told my son to have this talk with me but he did. It was the mature thing to do. He also had other things he was doing that I had no control over such as enlisting in the Army Reserve so he had something to add at the end I could not argue with. The fact was that he approached me with a mature reasoning for why I had to let go.

Fact is we as parents don’t ever want to let go of our children. For fathers and daughters it is the hardest thing to do. For no matter how old you get no matter when you have your own family in dads eye you will always be his little girl that is just the way life is.

To cut moms apron strings takes showing her that you are a mature person. This starts with having an adult conversation with her. Put what I've said in your own words and if you are going away to college in the fall add the fact that you are to the conversation about going to your boyfriend. She needs to learn to trust you for she will not be at school to watch over everything you do there. She has taught you well and now is the time for her to let you prove that.

I've been with my boyfriend for 3mths 1/2... We instantly fell in love with eachother when we first meet... He wanted to meet my family and He did... Then he surprise by taking me to meet his mom... He has talked about marriage and moving in... Starting on the 2nd month we agreed to wait on being intimate until we got married possibly... So we enjoyed eachother's company he would cook for me, take me on the sweetest dates... But during this he has been struggling because he wasn't making enough to live in his apartment, pay child support.... He lost his job and sold his car wasn't working that great... He would always tell me and remind me that he loves me... But he recently ask to be alone for a while... He texted me "You are a bright shining light I my life and I don't wanna lose you but I can't be anybody's anything right now.. I am just too focused on making myself the best that I can be. I love you so much and I'll do anything I can for you but I need to just be alone for awhile. I don't want to stop talking, I just need to shed some of the expectations that go along with being in a relationship. It's killing me inside knowing that I have such a great lady trying to be my everything and I just can't give you what you want and need and deserve. That said, just keep being yourself and everything will work out just like it's supposed to. " so how tough it's been for I'm giving him his space didn't text but he started texting me two days... Saying good morning and wondering what I was doing, letting me know he was going to be his daughters and the weather... I just don't what to make of it? I'm confused...I'm hurting... Just miss him... But I'm trying my best to give him his space...

There are two ways to look at what he has said and what he means. Take the line where he says; "I just can't give you what you want and need and deserve."

Is he saying that because he can't take you on fancy dinner dates or buy you fancy or expensive gifts he doesn't deserve you; or is he saying you expect those things and he can't supply them and until he can he will not see you?

There are men out there who believe they must shower their ladies with gifts and expensive meals or other things to show their love and appreciation for them or who believe this is what their ladies expect from them. My wife told me long before we married that this was not true that a quiet night at home just the two of us was even more important than a fancy dinner out.

If you feel the same way and believe that I have just described how he feels than you need to tell him as my wife did me.

I'm not sure how to interpret this line, "I am just too focused on making myself the best that I can be.. I do believe in being the best you can be and I use that line myself but in a different context then he is using it.

There is nothing wrong with being the best you can be though using it as an excuse confuses me as for me it is a goal in life not a focal point. The way I'm looking at his use of this is confirmation that he can't afford to give you things or take you places because he is focusing on living maybe just day to day. I'm certainly reading into it there but it seems to fit.

The rest of what you write about what he has said seems to me to be window dressing around what I believe he is saying without actually saying it.

Now what to do about this? If I'm correct in how he feels about you; that he does have great feelings for you but feels, to be blunt, he can't afford to show you those feeling in a manner you want to see. HE has asked for some time to get his life in order, so he can meet his obligations and give you the things you want and deserve. Remember this is how we feel it is no reflection on you. This is how our mothers teach us to respect women and it is ingrained in us whether we are 18 or 81.

What you have to do is convince him that you don't want those things you want him. Be he a rich man or pauper it is him you want to be with and for the rest of the problems he may have. IF you want you tell him you will work them out together.

Of course there is another meaning to all this. One that is a lot shorter to explain. He too is confused and not sure of his love for you and doesn't want to be hurt again as he was when he separated from the mother of his child.

No matter which way you want to interpret his meaning you need to open a discussion with him and ask him which of the two is the problem. IF he is scared of being hurt again then talk to him about couple counseling if you see him as someone you want to make a life with.

If it is as I first said then you need to convince him you are not that type of girl; that it is him and not things you want.

I want to spend my future with a boy and settle down and have children later on in life i am 17 years old and want to be with him what's the best way of approaching this

I am assuming, since you do not say, that you have a particular young man in mind. While I admire your desire and fortitude to be planning ahead you still have a great deal of living and maturing to do before these plans should come to fruition.

Being 17 you have either just graduated from High School or will be going into your senior year in September. You should be looking at continuing your education at College which means you have at a minimum 4 or 5 years of schooling ahead of you.

Putting marriage into the equation at this time is something that I would not recommend. Rarely do high school romances turn into life long love affairs. To skip college so that you and the boy you would like to be your husband can marry is not the best choice to make.

In order to have the life you have now or a better life than what your parents have been able to supply; which is the American Dream. Now more than ever before a College Educations with advanced degrees are needed.

If you do go off to college you will find that absence does not make the heart grow fonder. College forces us to mature in different ways based on the college we attend and the course of study we under take. This is good as we all need to mature in our own way. This is also what is meant by the saying you can never go home again.

Home is two things; it is the physical place you can always return too. It is also the place of our childhood the place of our memories which we can only return to in our thoughts and minds but never really return too as we grow and mature.

I have purposely taken the long way around to answer your question as it was a bit open ended. In order to approach someone about marriage for one thing means you both have to be equal in your love for one another.

For a boy of your age I would be very leery of his actual love for you as boys your age confuse love for lust. A 17 year old boy may say he loves you, he may even say he wants to marry you. You have to take what he says with a certain amount of mistrust for primarily a 17 year old boy will say what he needs to say to get you in bed and into your pants.

My advice is to continue to prepare yourself for the day when the absolute Mr. Right comes along. For now though you need to experience more of life if you want to have a successful marriage. You need to complete your education so you can have the American Dream.

When the time is right you will not have to write anyone on how to approach someone.

with a/c on and running, the drivers side vent blows warm air, while the passenger SIDE VENT BLOWS COLD AIR, WHY?

Two probable causes are that there is a tear in the air duct and warm air is coming in from under the hood. The is much like the first in that the duct has become detached from the vent. In either case you need a AC mechanic to repair it as it requires going under the dash.

So I am almost 16 years old and my first car is being shipped and on its way. I am getting a silver 2009 Mitsubishi Eclipse. Is this a cute car/good choice?

It is a very cute car and the perfect car for a new driver. You are very lucky to have parents capable to purchase you your own car. Show them your appreciation by keeping you cell phone in your purse while driving. Remember in most all states the use of a cell phone when driving is unlawful and in some even if using a hands free device. Texting and driving is also unlawful in all states.

I know you did not ask for this advice. I offer it because I am a former first responder with a fire department rescue squad. My most recurring nightmare involves a response to an accident (single car) involving a young girl talking on the phone to her boyfriend.

She wrapped the car around a tree and was not wearing a seatbelt. The accident happened two blocks from her home. We sat there in full view of her parents waiting for the medical examiner and then it took us an hour to cut the car away so we could get her out and place her in a body bag.

No parent should have watched what hers watched. So please wear your seatbelt at all times even if only going around the corner, turn off your cell phone don't speed and arrive at your destination alive.

Trust me speeding does not make up for running late. Even when we run lights and sirens our speed is never faster than road conditions permit and never more than 5 t0 10 MPH over the speed limit. Also our drivers are professionally trained to drive at those speeds and with lights and sirens.

Enjoy your car.

My question is my boyfriend and I are. Both virgins and we tried to have sex but it wouldn't go in I was a little embarrassed what do I do?

I wish you had included your age as it is important in answering this question. The younger YOU are the harder it is going to be for that first intercourse.

Before I go into that I need to add something here because your age is missing. Boys have a different definition of love than girls do as young teenagers. To them love and lust are synonymous. If you are having sex with your boyfriend because he said something like; "If you love me you will have sex with me." You are having sex with him for all the wrong reasons. He does not love you he lusts for you and most likely once he gets what he wants he will move on to another girl. Think about this before you try again. Trust me on this one for I was once a teenage boy.

Now if you are young say in the age range of 13 to early 16. You may have developed the outward appearance of a women's body. Internally though you are still developing. Yes, your vagina will stretch to accommodate a man’s penis, just remember what your vagina is made to deliver into the world.

While you may be getting your period and be capable of getting pregnant. The hormones that allow the vagina muscles to unlock and stretch to allow a penis to enter and a baby to exit may not have been released yet. This is all part of puberty and it happens at different time for each girl.

Another reason you could be having trouble is you are not able to relax and let those muscles relax. This is a defense mechanism. A male can have sex almost anywhere as long as he can get hard. It is not quite that easy for the female.

A female needs to feel loved, be comfortable in her surroundings, feel safe that no one is going to intrude upon her, and most important that she is physically comfortable. Meaning the back seat of the car is not the best place to lose ones virginity.

Yes foreplay and externally applied lubrication such as K-Y Jelly will help. If you cannot relax, if you do not feel loved, if there is not enough foreplay to excite you, if you do not feel safe and you are not comfortable you will not be able to relax those muscles if they can be relaxed and it will hurt. It does not have to hurt. The only real pain you should feel is the sting of the tearing of your Hymen if it is still intact.

Sex is a beautiful thing between two loving people who are old enough to be in a long term loving relationship. Mature enough to understand the possible consequences of the act of love and able to deal with them.

I will not be a hypocrite and say you must wait for marriage. Most of us your parents age and older were not virgins when we married. What I will suggest is you make sure this is the right time and the right person to give your virginity to.

If as I feel you are in the age group I think you are I ask you to reread the second paragraph before you try again.

Is taking sleeping pills a painless way to die? I am tired of being betrade by my husband ;(

As a retired first responder I can tell you sleeping pills are a horrible way to attempt suicide. Life is not as Hollywood portrays it to be. Trust me I've responded to a number of these and you will end up in the ER having your stomach pumped something that is almost as bad as the pain of the pills.

Answer a question for me. How is dying going to prove anything to your husband and his betrayal to you? If he betrays you that makes him a bastard or a son of a bitch. Is that worth dying over? Frankly I don't thinks so.

Would it not be better to stand up to him, divorce him, find a better man and show the SOB what he missed by betraying you. To me this makes much better sense. You dying hurts him how?

Maybe in his own way he loves you but he betrayed you and that is wrong. If the betrayal is so hurtful that your marriage cannot or is not strong enough to ride it out and move on then divorce him. Your dying will only hurt him for a period of time, maybe, then he will move on.

Divorcing him will hurt him longer for it is like a prison record. It sticks with him for life. He will forever have to tell future prospects for a wife why his first wife left him. They will then have to decide if they trust his reason he gives them.

My advice is to forget about dying. Divorce the SOB; get some counseling and go out and live life to the fullest and show him what he missed out on for being a bastard to you.

If you still feel like committing suicide after reading this please dial 911 and ask for help.

I enjoy the stability and trust of monogamy--and while my husband of 3 years has had fantasies that involve him watching me have sex with other men, he hasn't ever been after other women for himself, even in fantasies--and our sex life is fantastic. I feel happy and safe in our marriage. We have a newborn baby and a "nanny" who is a 20 yo distant relative of mine volunteering to help me in the 5 months my husband will be away with the army in exchange for cost of living and a few large purchases she'd been wanting, which is much less than daycare since I'm in college and not working. My husband's leaving in 3 days. We liked her from the start. She's very sweet, gentle, nice, fun, and just beyond great with the baby.

I know her inclination is bi/poly, and I'm fine with whatever she wants to do in her sex life, but that's not my turn on. My husband came across her blog, and while it anonymized us, she was 100% clear that she plans to f*ck my husband "if he's game." Her examples of his initiating flirtation during the 5 days she's been here were unequivocally benign friendliness with maybe a dash tone-deafness... and I was present for all of them listed. (Before you cry naïveté, HE showed ME the blog the second he saw it, obviously he's not trying to send below the radar messages)

I feel angry, threatened, disrespected, but for what? She has a crush and she's fantasizing, nothing has happened and nothing will; he's leaving in 3 days and there's a lot of sh*t he has to do still, be practical. What's more, she's not trying to displace me, she doesn't want a husband or monogamy, and in fact, she also wrote things that may be fantasies about me, at least my husband is convinced of it & loves the idea, of course, because he likes the idea of other people wanting me, but him having me as his wife. I could see why he thinks that it's about me. Her clear emphasis is on him, however, and I do NOT like the idea of other people plotting to screw my husband.

He's a bit cavalierly confident in us. While he comes from a stable home and finds it inconceivable that we could divorce, I come from a f-ed up family full of steps and exes (remember how I said at the beginning that our houseguest is a distant relative? Also from a broken home) and I panic at the reality of how quickly people leave each other. Our marital commitment is so deeply important to me that her lack of respect for it makes me feel on edge and distant from her, and yet I don't want to be cold to her, because she's not trying to hurt me and I feel genuinely sorry for her because she's in many ways inexperienced and has got her heart just hanging off her sleeve. To interpret such small courtesies from my husband as encouragement is a sign of a lonely girl, a little delusional, even. Is this dangerous, though?

My husband says I should just be aware, but not alarmed because there isn't a threat, and to just let her stay to help me while he's away. He doesn't want to make a big deal about it with her or let her know we know because it's not worth making things weird when she'll find another crush quickly as she makes more friends in the area. I want to put it on the table and make our expectations clear. She has repeatedly raised the topic of her attraction to couples our age and I've immediately changed the subject. I'd originally worried that the awkwardness would be her having a crush on me--we thought she was more gay than straight. If that's still a possibility, I'm just not sure how to elegantly divert a crush when we live together. What I hate most is that small part of me looking forward to my husband leaving to make her quit mooning over him. I don't want our last few days together for the rest of this year to have any eagerness to see him go roiling beneath the surface. I feel really conflicted.

Should I worry? Should I confront her about this? Should I kick her out? What's the worst that could happen?

Let’s start with; "What's the worst that could happen?" You have not said, or at least I haven't read that she has made any type of real advances on either of you, only what you read on her BLOG. So the worst thing that can happen is she makes an advance on one of you or she makes an advance on one of you and somehow one of you succumbs to it. For the latter I see you as the one who would have been more vulnerable one in the months ahead as you grow lonely for your husband had you not been aware of her intentions.

Now that you have reasons to be aware or at least believe what you read in the BLOG is her writings. You and your husband have every right to sit down with her and ask her, in a non-confrontational manner as possible, if this blog is hers. If she admits it is her writings then you have three options which you and your husband should discuss in advance which of the three best fits makes you both comfortable.

Options:

1. You thank her for her offer to assist but her writings make you both uncomfortable and you will explore other options for assistance. You assure her that what has happened will remain between the three of you and you will not embarrass her by revealing this to anyone as long as she leaves quietly.

2. You explain to her that you two are in love with a strong commitment to monogamy and what she has written while upsetting to you both will not be held against her. If she can agree that her writings can remain just a fantasy, everyone is entitled to their fantasy, she can stay and you will continue with your agreement with her. If she cannot agree to keep her fantasy as just a fantasy then you will explore other options for assistance. You assure her that what has happened will remain between the three of you and you will not embarrass her by revealing this to anyone as long as she leaves quietly.

3. This option has more to do with if she says it is not her writing, not her Blog. You seem convinced it is her blog in which case I believe you will be more comfortable if you ask her to leave. You tell her this and once again explain this remains between the three of you.

While the proceeding is my advice to your questions I would be remise if I didn't add the following. IT is surprising how easy it is to read yourself into what you may read in a blog or social web site. While whatever you are looking at may not be 100% you it is close enough that you see yourself or your family in the writing.

Acting on this information can be extremely problematic for you with consequence for more reaching then the problems you have related here. These can be dealt with when and if the occur. You and your husband trust each other which is important. As I said the bigger problem will be loneliness for you while he is away. This is something she could prey upon if she is the writer of the blog.

If she is not and you confront her and send her home; you open yourself to criticism from the rest of that side of the family and possible separation from them. My advice therefore is to be certain before you confront her. IF you and your husband are certain the writer is her. Then you have every right to say something. If you are not certain be careful on how you approach her if you decide to approach.

Hi, I am a fifteen year old girl, I am five feet and four inches tall, and I weigh one hundred and ten pounds. Am I overweight? I've tried practically everything to lose weight. I've tried eating healthy, and I've also tried different workouts, but nothing seems to work. I feel like a fat pig. Advice would be much appreciated.

Height Frame Size
5'4" 114-127 124-138 134-151

As the chart above shows you are actually 4 pounds to 30 pounds underweight depending on your skeletal size. Weight can also vary depending on the time of the day you weigh yourself.

Feeling fat and being fat are two different things. One is mind over matter and the other is actually being it. You may feel fat because you need to exercise to tone up some sagging muscle. This would be good as muscle is heavier than fat and would add weight while toning your body making you look and feel better.

What would be bad would be to lose 10 pounds. It is far better to be 10 pounds overweight than 10 pounds underweight. Especially now when you going through puberty and your body needs to draw on those on all its resources to transform you from a girl to a women.

I'm not sure what or how they teach you about how the body works in school today. If you look at the body as an electric car the body works this way. The food you eat is the fuel for the heart, which is the electric motor. The engine supplies power to the brain; which is the control module that operates all the systems in the car; your body.

Now if there is not enough fuel to operate the heart at full power and keep the control center running. Directions are given to draw on the reserves the batter or stored fat which we all need some of. If there is not sufficient body fat to draw on we are in trouble for the main goal of our body is to keep the brain alive. What happens next if not corrected quickly can and will lead to death. Don't take my word for it ask your doctor.

When there is insufficient fuel and insufficient fat the body starts to shut down different systems it feels it can live without. First the kidneys start to malfunction; then the liver. Now you're in the hospital. If the doctors cannot correct these two problems then the heart and lungs start fail and finally the brain dies. This is what kills people suffering from Anorexia Nervosa.

The best way to find out how much you way is to see your doctor. Then eat healthy and eat enough to replace the calories you burn each day. If you want help finding out how many calories a day you should be eating ask the school nutritionist or health teacher.

i did sex with my g.f on 5th may then she got her period on 13th may within 8 days and 2day is 5th one month got over 4 my sex..i thing c didnt gt any sign of peragnency till now??if c would have got peragnent she would got some sign of peragnet...what are the sign of peragnent in one month??

Stop sending this same questions. Either accept our answers or take her for a pregnancy test.

I was a very large teen,not fat just extremely large chested.No one ever believed my age I always had to pay full price for the movies. We were very poor my father was very abusive and drank.

mom worked very hard and I had 2 younger brothers that I looked out for.I didn't want to finish high school because everyone would tease me about my chest so I took care of the house and my brothers

My father would come home from work 3:30 mom would get in at nine. My brothers would stay with family after school and come in by 7pm. I'll try to make this short my father raped me from 13-18 when he died. I never told and I didn't have any problems.

I started working I met my husband and had a wonderful life. My husband passed away 10yrs ago I miss him so ,I had cancer heart attack and thank god Im fine in my health dept. I have not remarried or dated Im 60yrs old now.

My problem is I kept dreaming of my father and wishing he was alive to have intercourse again.Why? Am I not normal ,If I would want someone to dream about I think It should be my husband not the rapist,and Im feeling like I enjoyed him?

Iam a grown women why should I feel like this? Are there any others that had a experience like mine or even a little one.

Daughter

We are not doctors and cannot make a diagnoses or should we give advice on certain subjects.

This is one of those questions where I feel I don't have the knowledge or training to give you any advice. I can't tell you why you're having these dreams or even if they are normal.

What I feel is normal is wanting to have sex at 60 years of age. Todays 60 is yesterdays 40 so you are still quite young and there is no reason you should not desire a sex life. As the saying goes plastic will only get you so far where the real thing will take you all the way, hopefully.

I can make two suggestions to you. The first is to see a psychologist to discuss the dreams you are having and the fact you were raped by your father. My feeling is that not ever having real closure to the rapes the dreams are a cry for closure.

The second is an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. They operate a toll free hotline 24/7 with trained counselors answering the phones who are far more qualified than us/me to answer your question. Everything you discuss with them is confidential and they will help you find someone in your hometown, like a psychologist, if you wish to continue to talk with someone and they feel you should. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.

Give them a call; the call is free and I believe talking with them will help you get the answers you are seeking.

My face acne is bad, & I was wondering if anyone would know the best acne cure. Comment below.

I agree with solidadvice4teens. Many of the over the counter creams can do more harm then good. While some of them may be recommended by your doctor, such as the cleansing creams it will be after the doctor has examined you, considered what the cause of your acne is and decided on the best course of treatment for you

The doctor may like a certain OTC cleansing cream in conjunction with other medication or a prescription cleansing cream in conjunction with medication. It is all based on what the doctors sees when you are examined.

You should find a Board Certified Dermatologist. This would be a doctor who has done extra study in a Fellowship after their residency and passed the criteria to be Certified by the College of Dermatologists. These are the real specialist in Dermatology where doctors who are not certified only have their medical school and residency knowledge of Dermatology.

When you try to heal yourself with OTC medication you are a poor doctor because you do not have the training to do so and you are doing yourself more harm than good. You should not believe what you see or hear about OTC medications. They are trying to sell their product which is not regulated by the FDC. For the most part they can say almost anything they feel they need to get you to by it without having the studies to back up their claims.

Prescription medications are tried, tested and doctors have the studies to review before prescribing the medication. They now how these medications should work and when the should be used without harming the patient.

My advice is to see a Board Certified Dermatologist.

How how much day of sex u can take pregneny test ( home kit) for acurate result?? Ans is.hime.made kit r 100% sure

Home test kits are not 100% accurate, this is why we suggest you always take two tests several days apart to confirm the results of the first test. Home test kits give more false positives then false negatives.

As for when to take the test after sex. It is best to follow the directions on the box of the test you purchase as each can be different as to how long to wait

I'm 19, female, junior in college. All of my college friends live in different states and my parent's don't trust me enough to drive there so I told them I was visiting my old roommate who is living at school this summer for a job and I actually drove to Jersey to visit my one friend there. As I was leaving Jersey to go back to Pennsylvania I had to go through a toll on 202. I was in the EZ pass lane and had tried to get into the payment lane but could not so I went through the EZ pass lane and I didn't have an EZ pass. I'm terrified they're gonna send me a letter telling me that I need to pay which would be totally fine but my parents are going to see that I didn't really go where I said I was going. How can I ensure that I take care of this so they don't send me a letter? Is there any place I can call or something to let them know? If not, I guess I just have to intercept the mail.

Thank you!

You are going to have to try to intercept the letter. The letter will most probably come from the toll authority addressed to whoever is the first person shown on the title of the cars registration. Given the volume of cars using the EZ pass lanes each day many of which have low balances it would be near impossible for the toll authority to pick your car out of the hundreds they process each day from the toll faculties around the state.

From a parental point of view you did the right thing by not trying to force your way into the cash lanes and possibly having an accident. Driving through the EZ pass lane was the safer thing to do, the adult thing to do even though it will mean paying a higher toll.

As for the trust issue with your parents and driving into PA. You are at 19 an adult, a licensed driver by the State of New Jersey. If your parents are concerned about you having an accident they should be more concerned about that when you are driving near home. Statistically speaking most serious accidents happen with in 25 miles of home.

If there concern is you will get lost. If your car does not have a GPS system built in then purchase a device that can be mounted in the car on the windscreen or dashboard. They have come way down in price since auto manufacturers have started putting them in cars. With one of these units all you need to do is put in the address of where you're going and it will give you turn by turn directions or put in your home address and it will take you there.

You do not have to know where you are as these units most always know where they are. As long as they know where they are they can get you where you want to go. The more expensive units can even route you around heavy traffic or road construction delays.

I tell you this for as a parent who has already gone through having a teenage child grow into an adult I think I know the concerns your parents have. As valid as those concerns are we cannot wrap are children in bubble wrap. If we have done our jobs correctly, and it appears they have. Then we have to allow you to grow and experience life as it is while we sit home ready to do whatever you need of us if you need our help.

I suggest you do not hide the fact that you went to PA from them. Tell them you did. Tell them You got in the wrong lane for the toll and instead of trying to force your way into the right lane and possibly have an accident you did the right thing and stayed in the EZ pass lane. When the letter from the toll authority arrives they should give it to you and you will pay it. No points are accessed to the car owner for running the EZ pass toll if you pay the toll when the letter arrives.

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