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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Four years ago I have been suffering with terrible anxiety and panic attacks. I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder. I was taking clonazepam for it 1mg 2x daily.
However, about a year ago I researched what ADHD was and I thought I matched all the symptoms. I went to go see my Psychiatrists and he was willing to try Ritalin. I immediately had so much energy and was finally able to keep a job for the few months I was on it. I then read the Rx label and it said may cause new bi polar symptoms including mania. I also found out it was a controlled narcotic.
I went back to my Psychiatrists told him about how much evergy I had and he then diagnosed me with Bi Polar I. He put me on Abilify which I only tried for one day. I was very confused of all these diagnoses within four years. In the mean time I still suffered with anxiety attacks and had a fear of failure going back to work..
How do I know if I am Bi Polar or ADHD now? I got a second opinion and he says ADHD and my counselor says I am not Bi- Polar. How can he make such a quick judgement?
When it comes to psychiatry and the practice there of. In many states in the U.S. any doctor that did a rotation in psychiatry during their Residency can practice psychiatry. This does not make them the best psychiatrists.
The best psychiatrists are the ones who have been Board Certified by the College of Psychiatrists. These are Medical Doctors who have done a Fellowship in psychiatry after their residency and past all the test and standards to practice psychiatry.
Your counselor may be a clinician such as a psychologist or social worker who is trained to help you deal with the problems of your illness but is not a medical doctor and in most states is not allowed to make a diagnosis. Though they can suggest to you what they think. I know this is a bit confusing but so is anything that concerns one's mental health.
Since it would be wrong of me to make any type of judgment here and you are still confused and being re-diagnosed between two different illnesses. I suggest you do the following:
Find a board Certified Psychiatrist for another opinion. Call the State Board of licensing or your local hospital if need to find one. Then allow that doctor to help you find a psychologist he or she can work with for you to work with in dealing with whatever diagnoses this doctor finds.
As for the medication. If by chance you are diagnosed as bipolar the medications for this illness take time to work. They do not work overnight and yes they will make you feel different for a while. Give them a chance to build up in you and give your body a chance to get use to them. Do not stop taking them without first talking with your doctor. All that might be needed is a change is dosage to make you feel better.
Yes some of these drugs are a schedule II or I drugs. This is not something to be concerned about. It mostly concerns how the doctor prescribes and how the drug is tracked by FDA. Just because it is a Narcotic does not mean you are going to become a Junkie.
Ever since I was about six years old I always used to sing in the car. I was not very good at it but it was something that I did. I knew all the lyrics and song titles etc.) Now that I have been driving on my own for 5 yrs I always sing in the car very loudly and I am not any good. When I sing I feel very good. I will NEVER sing around anyone because I know that I am terrible at it. However, in my car I feel safe and no one can judge me so I will jam out to my favorite songs over and over sometimes.
Could these be manic episodes that I am having for all these years? I am 23. Or could it be ADHD?
I sing in the house too but only when there is no one around. I dance too sometimes also not very good at that but only in the privacy of my own home.
Can someone please explain to me if this sounds like a manic episode? I also suffer from panic attacks and I have social anxiety. Any advice would be great.
K
We are not doctors so we cannot make any medical diagnosis. I will say that this does not sound anything like bipolar disorder or ADHD. It sounds more like a coping mechanism of some type, possibly something you developed a long time ago to deal with the panic attacks.
Bipolar disorder is the current name for manic depression. A person who suffers with manic depression or bipolar disorder has swift mood swings that can last for hours to days. Mood swings that go from being extremely happy one minute to extremely depressed the next. This does not sound like that. ADHD is more of a compulsive disorder which this also does not sound like you.
If this coping mechanism works for you don't worry about it. There are many different ways people find to cope with things in life. A good friend of mines wife likes to do her housework in the nude. This is her way of coping with the daily stress of life. She keeps a bathrobe by the door incase she has to answer the door. There is nothing wrong with this either. Just before the kids come home from school she takes her shower and gets dressed. She is a happy well adjusted and stress free person and a great cook. (Just thought I would throw that last part in, have no idea if how she does her house work effect her cooking)
Have you ever seen a therapist for either your panic attacks or social anxiety disorder. If you haven't you should as a therapist can be a big help in properly dealing with both of these problem. Your family doctor can also offer you medication to help with the panic attacks while you see a therapist about them.
Both the panic attacks and the social anxiety are caused by triggers. In therapy you can learn to identify the triggers before the attacks begin and deal with them in a more acceptable manner then a panic attack.
There is no reason to have to live with these problems for this is help for the asking. as far as the singing goes. If it makes you feel better then continue.
My husband and i have been married 2 1/2 years now and he has a daughter from a previous relationship. Love her to death. Her mother has never been reasonable and lately has made things difficult. Well, firstly she decided to quit her job and live off just her child support and wants to get it increased. Can she legally do this since she willingly quit her job? My husband just got promoted to a manager and got a 10,000$ pay increase I am worried she will try and take all she can so she can remain unemployed. We only have his daughter 8 days a month. It is hard to keep her more since we both work 2-11 jobs. I did work a job that allowed me to have 3 days off and watch her for part of the day by myself while my husband worked and her mother said unless I became her friend and got to know her that she didn't want me alone with her daughter. Which was odd that she would have a problem after so many years. So she took their daughter during the time we would have had her and would not allow us to see her. She is custodial parent but can she legally just take her and not tell us where she is and not allow us to have her? The other day we got a text from a mutual friend saying that her mother was hungover and their daughter was sitting in soiled clothes crying and had been since last night, our friend told us that her mother took her to a party at her boyfriend's house and got too drunk to take care of her and our friend ended up watching her since she was worried. My husband got mad and went over there and picked her up a few hours after getting that message and her mother was awake and their daughter only wearing a shirt and still soiled. We had to take her home like that and clean her up. Today she has been texting us saying we are not working with her and she wants to take it to a lawyer. Do you think we have a chance in a custody battle? My boyfriend does have a mosdemeanor on his record that might make a custody battle hard, should this be a worry? I need general advice on what steps we should take next and how we should approach this from a legal stand point.
Razhie is correct about the legal advice. I do not believe any of us are lawyers and in any case it would be wrong of us to give legal advice without first meeting with you if we were lawyers. What I will do is share with you what I do know about what seems to be common in custody case in the U.S. Courts.
For the longest time judges have been somewhat predisposed to give child custody to the mothers unless you can prove beyond any doubt, not just reasonable doubt to the judge that the mother is unfit. Then the judge may still award custody with provisions for monitoring of the mothers care of the child. This trend is slowly changing.
Child care money is meant for the care of the child. A portion of that money can be spent on general living expenses such as rent and utilities though not full value of these items. Child care money is not meant for the care and upkeep of the mother.
Increase in child care support: Every time the non-custodial parent receives and increase in earnings the custodial parent can bring the other back to court for an increase in child care. There may be wording in their divorce decree to the effect that what she is getting is all she will get for child care though this is usually in the decrees of the rich and famous.
Can you two get custody. It is possible but it would be better if you two were married. Judges still frown on cohabitation as not a fit family situation to raise a child in. Now an over riding factor could be that the mother is just not fit to raise the child. This would mean bringing the emails and the people that wrote them to court to testify. Still the judge may place the child with grandparents or make the child a ward of the court.
As for the misdemeanor offence on his record. I personally do not believe it will have much effect though it depends on what it is for. More so it depends on the judge and each judge may look at the offense differently.
My advice is to first consult a lawyer who specializes in Family Law in the state the EX would go to court in. Then consider getting married if you truly want to have custody of the child.
I'm going on a diet and I only want to eat around 500 calories a day (with little to no cheat days) I was wondering if this is safe/ healthy as long as I get all if my vitamins and nutrients. My Bmr is about 1,400 and I'll be exercising so I know I'll lose weight. I've been eating avocado, almonds, milk, oranges, apples, bananas, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, oatmeal, spinach, tomatoes, fish, tofu, grapes , broth, watermelon, green tea, black tea,and of course water. I'm planning on expanding the list if I do this long term. I eat 5-7 small meals a day. So is this safe? I've heard that if I do this my body will start eating my muscle so I've put the diet on hold until I know for sure. If this isn't safe, I'd like some suggestions to improve my diet, like how many calories I should eat. Thanks! (Oh and by the way, I'm a woman if that matters.
Calories are units of energy needed to fuel daily activity. The amount of fuel a woman needs daily depends on many factors, including size, age and activity level.
The number of calories a woman needs daily varies according to age. Younger women generally need more calories than older women, as they tend to have more muscle mass and be more active. A sedentary woman aged 19 to 30 years needs between 1,800 and 2,000 calories daily, while moderately active women need 2,000 to 2,200 calories and very active women need 2,400.
Based on the information above 500 calories a day is way too little to sustain you. I have reason to believe you are probably a teenager under 19 years of age. If this is true and you are relatively active a diet of 1,800 to 2,000 calories a day would probably be just what you need to sustain you and lose weight. You would need more calories to maintain your present weight.
That being said let me add we are not doctors and you have not supplied even the minimum amount of information such as height and weight for us to offer what an ideal weight for you should be. Not everyone can look like the models in the magazines, even the models in the magazines don't look like they do in the magazines. After the photo's are taken they are airbrushed to make them look as the client wants to present whatever they are selling to look.
It is far better to be 10 pounds overweight then 10 pounds underweight. When we diet what happens is your body needing more fuel than it takes in starts to feed off itself and you lose weight. If you are already underweight then you do not have the reserves for the body to feed off of and what happens is the body which is designed to save the brain at all costs starts to shut down systems it feels it can live without. It continues to do so until it can no longer support brain function.
This is what kills people with the eating disorder called Anorexia.
My advice is before starting any diet check with your doctor. Find out if you really need to diet and then diet under your doctor's supervision. Your doctor will give you a diet plan, a daily calorie count to follow with scheduled check ups to monitor your progress. This is the proper and safe way to diet.
He went to take a picture of a total stranger...who objected. I advised. perhaps he needed to see if they objected first then proceed. He took the picture and responded to her ."I guess this will be between us...instead of apologizing. When I tried to suggest what might have happened or how to prevent this in the future...he ended up calling me a f...ing b.....not once but several times...He then believed the tires on the vehicle were going to be slashed so he ran to the vehicle. This dove tails into my repeated requests...not to be hit with a drumstick or be called a whore which he laughs He has had no job in years...contributes what he wants... He went off on my daughter last weekend...with a similar attack. I am tired of the disrespect, rudeness and abuse... Yes, I am well educated, a professional with a license...and one doesn't need a medical license to make this diagnosis.
Did I miss an original post. Is this an explanation of an or the original post. In either case I do agree with everything Razhie has written.
I will add that there is really not enough information in this post to label this person as being bipolar or a narcissist. I will say that it appears he is an abusive ass. I cannot understand why you would stay with someone like him. No one should put up with being disrespected, rude to or abused, well educated or not.
My advice is to show this person where the door is and tell him not to let it him in the ass on the way out.
I am a boy my age is 18 whenever I masturbate after 2 seconds I cum plz tell me if any issue I have
I don't think you have a problem. I believe you are like many young men who when masturbating race to cum to have the feeling that comes over you when you climax or to relieve the sexual tension before you are disturbed by others.
The last part is usually a problem young for men who live at home or have roommates. We masturbate primarily to relieve sexual tension and secondarily for the feeling we get when we climax it is a 2 for 1 deal. If we are concerned with being interrupted or intruded upon then we rush through our masturbation to get it over with. You may have unknowingly conditions yourself into doing so. It will take time but since this is a learned experience you can unlearn it.
Find a time and a place to masturbate when you know you will not be disturbed. If you live at home then you may want to do so before everyone returns home from school and work or after everyone goes to bed for the evening. Hopefully you have your own room. Close and lock your door.
Get out your music player and headphones, strip off your clothes, get your favorite stroke material and get on your bed. Put some nice romantic type music on you music player. Then with stroke material in hand lay back and play with yourself. Let you hands wander all over your body from neckline to as far down your legs as possible. Pretend your hand belongs to the lady you are looking at and she is making love to you, feeling your body and teasing you. Don't touch your penis but you can touch your scrotum.
After a bit when your body starts to tingle, so to speak, and your penis is rock hard you can start to touch yourself but lightly and slowly. This is how a girl would make love to you. Slowly at first and then as she see's you building to climax she would speed up the tempo and the firmness of her grip.
You can also try to squeeze off your climax by firmly squeezing with your thumb and forefingers just under the head of your penis. If you do this a few times you will learn to control yourself and you will have a much better masturbation session.
Just make sure that when you do masturbate you can do so without fear of interruption for a long period of time. In a comfortable place, such as your bedroom where you can lock your door against intrusion.
My friend has fallen really hard for this guy who acts like a total jerk to her. (They are both 19 years old) No matter how mean he is, she just won’t stop and I don’t know how to convince her that this just isn’t good for her. She’s had an enormous crush on him for years and nothing seems to be able to break her blindness. Every time he treats her badly, she plummets into overwhelming sadness, but she still won’t give up on him. It’s gotten even worse this past year and it’s gotten to the point that I am starting to become worried about her mental/emotional wellbeing. How can I help her to get over him?
There is nothing you can do for her except to be supportive and be there for her when she finally realizes her mistake. This is one of those instances where the expression; "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink," is very applicable.
Before people will accept help they have to hit bottom. Everyone's bottom is different. You say this guy is a Jerk and that he treats her badly. This does not tell me what I need to know to advice you on what possible interventions to take.
For instance does he abuse her? If the answer is yes, is it physical abuse, does her hit her? If so this is very serious and yes she does need to see a therapist for it tells me she has low self-esteem by allow him to get away with hitting her. Mental abuse is just as bad or maybe worse for it is harder to prove. Still her problem is the same for allowing it, low self-esteem. At least with physical abuse if you see it you can report it to the police, with mental abuse all you can do is be supportive and try and get her to get help.
You say she is 19, is she still living at home? If she is have you given any thought to speaking with her parents? If she is not living at home would talking to her parent be helpful? Would she listen to her parents?
If you are this concerned about your friend you are not betraying her by going to her parents or another older Adult in her life she may trust. If this guy is physically or mentally abusing her; is it not better she see you as betraying her trust then possibly attending her funeral. This is what happens to many young women that allow men to abuse them. The either are abused to the point these men kill them or the commit suicide.
I broke my leg and I am layed up in bed for a while. What do I do to loose weight, because I can't work out. I've been eating alot moe too, because I
m bored. What should I do to stay thin?
There are some upper body exercises you can do using free weights and resistance type exercises. There are also isometric exercises which will help you keep muscle tone something bed ridden patients’ loose while laid up.
If you put isometric exercise into a search engine it will return a number of sites you can look at to both learn more about this exercise and see different ones you can do. You will also be going to rehab for a bit after the cast comes off. Ask your doctor for a referral now to the rehab center and contact them for exercises you can do in bed.
Most all of these exercises will not do much to help you lose weight though they will keep your muscles toned. They will also give you something else to do rather than feeding your face which is adding to your weight gain. If you can control your diet and exercise you may lose a few pounds from the extra workout as you will burn some extra calories.
Check with your doctor; he or she is your best source of information on what you can and cannot do to prevent further injury to your leg.
Wishing you a speedy healing.
I started taking Zoloft last night. I have severe anxiety and depression. I decided to give it a shot, but I was scared of it getting worse. Well...
I know it hasn't been 24 hours yet, but I feel as if it's getting worse and I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's because I'm freaking myself out over it. I've been scared to take medicine, so I have not. But I decided I cannot live like this anymore. I must find a solution. So I decided to take them but what if it just keeps getting worse and worse? Anyone who takes any antidepressants that know how long I'll feel like this? :(
Please do not listen to littlesky9 for he or she does not know what he or she is talking about. The only thing he or she may be a bit correct about is the suicide thing as it is a side effect of some antidepressant medications.
Zoloft is one of the older antidepressants and used by many doctor for people under 18 because it is a very stable medication that does not have many side effects including suicide. Although like other medications it does come with the warning to contact you doctor is you start having suicidal ideations.
Hopefully I have cleared that up for you. Antidepressants are not like antibiotics. They do not start working over night. They need to build up in your body as they are a hormonal replacement for hormones such as serotonin a natural hormone made by your body. When people suffer depression, especially clinical depression diminished or insufficient serotonin levels is usually the culprit.
The time it takes for these levels to build up in your body depends on the dosage you are on and how your doctor decides to build you up. In my case I was started at a low dosage and 3 weeks later the dosage was increased. Along the way I started to feel better and better as the dosage increased and my body stored more and more of the antidepressant.
What is very important with this medication is to take it exactly as prescribed by the doctor. Try to take it every day at the same time especially while you are building up on it. Being compliant with your medication and seeing both your doctor and therapist and being open with them so that the stressor that is causing your depression can be identified is key to recovery.
Clinical depression is caused by stress. Stress causes depression, depression causes pain, including mental pain which causes depression. It is a vicious circle that has to be broken. Proper medical treatment and talk therapy is how you recover.
Give the medication time to work, you should start to feel a bit better in a few days and then a bit better every day there after. If not then call the doctor to see if a change in dosage or if a different medication may be needed. But please stay on the medication it will work. If this is your first depressive episode you will not have to take the medication forever. Probably for a year to 18 months and then the doctor will take you off of it.
Please do not listen to littlesky9 for whoever that is does not know what they are talking about. I've been there. I've taken the medication and I have recovered by doing just what I am advising you to do.
Ok..I dated this guy for a couple of months but he was 6 yrs older than me..I'm 16..we were first just friends but then we began to "love" each other. I would go by him everyday but we never did anything really..then we almost did and I stopped him...he got a bit mad at me. He said he didnt want to date me now at 16 because he didn't want me to do things that were not right..we didnt talk for awhile...then he called but we are sort of awkward friends now...I still like him though and i told him but he said he dont want to destroy my life. Should I get back with him? If yes how?
To be brutally honest there are two things wrong with this relationship.
1. It is illegal and he could go to jail just for being with you. Nothing sexual has to take place it is assumed and he would or could be charged with statutory rape. In many states this charge could earn him anywhere from 5 years to life in prison depending on what state you live in.
You are a minor and under the age of consent. He is 6 years older than you and an adult. These are the qualifying reasons justifying the charges. If you two ever crossed a state line together he could also face federal charges of violating the Mann Act which could also earn him a life in prison sentence.
2. There is something wrong when a 22 year old dates 16 year olds. The first thought that jumps into my head is pedophile. He may not be, he may be one in the making. It doesn't matter you are in danger when there is this great an age difference at your present age. If you were 26 and he 32 that would be a different story but neither of you are those ages.
My advice is if your parents are not aware of the age difference or not aware you are dating this man you tell them so that they can decide if they want to take any appropriate action. You have been luck he did not hurt you. The next girl your age or younger may not be so lucky.
DO NOT SEE HIM AGAIN, DO NOT TALK TO HIM AGAIN. IF HE CONTINUES TO TRY AND CONTACT YOU CALL THE POLICE.
I have a cut on my thigh. I am also on vacation at the outer banks(the ocean) would it be a bad idea to into the ocean. I dont want my cut to get infected.
The Atlantic Ocean is not the cleanest Ocean on the planet and it would be possible to get an infection, possibly one as serious as the flesh eating bacteria. That being said there are ways to cover the cut so as to keep it dry and allow you to enjoy the ocean.
Go to the closest pharmacy and ask to speak to the pharmacist. Explain to the pharmacist you have a cut on your thigh and would like to continue to enjoy the beach and the ocean. If possible wear clothing that will allow the pharmacist to inspect your cut. He or she will recommend ways to keep it clean and a waterproof bandage. These are bandages that are used after surgery to allow patients to shower or bath.
They are generally clear plastic and come in various sizes so to cover different sized wounds. You want one that is really oversized so as to insure no ocean water reaches your cut while it is healing. Wear the bandage during the day while at the beach. Take it off at night so the cut can get to the air and heal. Before applying the bandage make sure the skin area the bandage will cover is free of any oils or creams and is dry.. Use a cotton ball with alcohol to clean the area to insure good adhesion of the bandage.
So my mom has a boyfriend that she's had for 13 years now. He has a son that i do not think of as a brother.i have had a crush on him for many years now. His son in a few years older then me, but I'm also over 18. I would like to tell him that i have had a crush on him n think sexual thoughts about him at night. We don't see each other very often but I'm dying to know if he feels that kinda way about me. Im not sure about it because some signals he sends seems like he's flirting but I'm not positive. I don't know how to ask him or tell him. Please help me somebody.
If your mom and his dad are not married then he is not your step brother in the legal sense of the term. Even if they were there is no blood relation so any thoughts of incest are not founded which could be the reason you and he may be having trouble getting together. No blood relation, no incest.
You’re both over 18 so you can do whatever you like regardless of your parents situation. How would you co about approaching any other boy you might like to get to know better? If you have ever approached another boy to get to know him then I suggest you do so in the same manner with this guy? Do not treat him as a step brother; do not look at him as a step brother. Treat him as if he is any other guy.
In fact this is your opening. Start with; "you know _ _ _ _ we really are not step anything just two people whose parents know are in a great relationship." "Because of their relationship you and I know each other quite well and I don't know how you feel about me but I would really like to see if we have anything more than the relationship we have that comes from our parents’ relationship." Use your own words but pretty mush straight and two the point. If you know each other as well as well as I think you may then you should be able to have this type of conversation.
He may be thinking like you that you’re his step sister. Many people think that any relationship that might lead to a sexual relationship or even marriage between step children is incest. They are wrong and you may have to point this out to him. In fact it is my understanding that incest only can occur between siblings, parents, Aunts, Uncles and first cousins.
My advice is to talk to him and be as straight forward as you are comfortable being with him. He may feel the same way about you and like you just unsure how to approach you either.
I am confused my breasts get swollen,I get headaches all the time,and I loose appetite,my stomach hurts all the time,my chest is painful and I am using Trigestrel pills could it be the side effects?or am I pregnant
Your chest hurting is not a common side effect of this medication and something that you should consult your doctor about. According to the research I was able to do the other problems you speak of are considered normal side effects that should resolve themselves soon after you start taking the medication or at least be tolerable. If not the recommendation is to speak to your doctor about a different medication.
It is unlikely that you are pregnant if you followed the doctors or manufactures instructions on safe sex until the pill was effective. As I have written the most likely problem you are suffering are side effects, with the exception of the chest pain.
The chest pain may be a side effect it is just not listed as a common side effect. Based on what you have written my suggestion is you call you GYN and see what the doctor thinks about changing your medication. Not all hormonal birth control pills affect each woman in the same manner as side effects go. You may do better on another type or brand.
I am in a four year relationship. My boyfriend is 23 and I'm 21. So I've found that I don't really enjoy the sex, I suppose I don't really like the feeling. He tries to satisfy me everytime, I only seem to orgasm through stimulation. I don't want to tell my boyfriend this, that would hurt his feelings, sometimes I do wish we didn't have to do it so often, because we do, almost everytime we see each other and this is worrying as I do see a future with him. What could be causing this feeling?
I really cannot give you a good answer to your question as there is information needed that you did not supply. Information like how long you both have been sexually active, when did you lose your virginity when did he. Why this question.
Like everything else sex is a learned art. We what we learn early is what we practice until we find that our practice is shall we say in need of upgrading. This is not a disparagement. You are 21 and have been going with him since you were 18 and he was 19. If you started having sex at that age then it probably was more of a Wham, bam thank you ma'am type of deal. You are older now and where you have sex may be more comfortable and more secure from being intruded upon or discovered then at first. Plus at 21 you are more than entitled to have a sex life. So it would not be unusual that you would want more than you got when you were 18.
If I'm close to what you're thinking the solution is fairly simple and the problem is not unique to your situation. It happens to many couples including married couples. You need to talk to each other.
Remember I said you need to talk to each other. Good communications is the key to everything in our lives including sex. How can I know what your likes and dislikes are in the bedroom if you don't tell me ore you mine. How am I to know what your fantasies may be or what sexual things you might be willing to try if you don't talk to me.
The Kama Sutra has over a thousand pages of sexual positions. There are hundreds of sexual fetishes. Nothing that happens in the privacy of your bedroom is weird or kinky if the two partners are consenting to try something. The Key word here is CONSENTING.
Back to your original question. No I don't think your losing interest. I think you may becoming bored in the bedroom with routine sex. Maybe your sex life consists of foreplay which may include oral sex and fingering, then on to the missionary and possibly doggy position. That could get old. It does for many couples.
Some couples look to bringing a third person into the bedroom others look to swinging. TO me those are the wrong answers as one partner is usually not all that consenting. The solution is talking to each other and finding different things to spice up your sex life.
Talk to each other see what turns you on. It could be anything just remember what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. If you two enjoy it and are both consenting it is not weird or kinky. Some women have rape fantasies, why I don't know. Some men like to be dominated in the bedroom. BDSM are favorite bedroom fetishes. Dress up and role-play is another.
IF you two are good for each other in every other way don't let a stale love life be a deal breaker. Don't be embarrassed to ask for what you want in the bedroom.
One last thing. If you can orgasm through masturbation it is very possible you are more clitoral in nature than vaginal. Most guys go right for the vagina in foreplay and finger a girl until they, the guy, thinks they are ready for intercourse. The guys do this because this is what they learned to do. This is what they see in porno movies and what they read in porn magazines.
Most women can be stimulated just thorough vaginal stimulation. There are some and you may be among them that need their clitoris stimulated more than their vaginal in order to climax. If you are among those women there are positions in which your clitoris is stimulates during intercourse. You also need to show your boyfriend how to stimulate your clitoris and how to find your "G" spot inside you vagina.
If you don't know where your "G" spot it should be on the roof of your vagina just below and toward the opening of your vagina. Stimulating both of these should send you up a wall.
So I have been on the pill for almost 5 years, no scares and no mistakes..
I was starting my new pill pack last Wednesday, and it was late and dark so I took my pill and went to sleep. Thursday night, I slept at my boyfriends and forgot my pack so I got home Friday morning to take my Thursday pill and realized I had accidently taken the sugar pill Wednesday so technically I was two days off my BC. I immediately took my pill Friday morning, just restarting the pack.
So I had sex without protection (I had thought I was on the pill and we've been together 4 yrs so no condoms but he pulled out) on both Thursday and Friday night... I woke up Saturday morning with blood in my undies?? It wasn't rough sex or anything. I bled most of the day Saturday. My period had ended Wednesday that week and I never spot or have breakthrough bleeding, I guess my question is could I be pregnant and were my pills still effective even though I messed up?
Thanks in advance :)
Also please no lecturing about using condoms, we are monogamous, consenting, secure adults who use a different birth control method and have no fear of STDs.
Okay here is how I see it; just remember I am not a doctor so this is not medical advice.
You have been on the pill for 5 years. If you wanted to get pregnant you would have to be off the pill for at least 30 days or more, for most women, before you could possibly conceive.
Your period had just finished, hopefully you are among the 80% of women who ovulate between the 7th and 21st day of their menstrual cycle. If your period is still in sync with you ovulation cycle you had sex during your safe period.
As for the bleeding again on Saturday this may have been your body’s natural reaction to not being on the pill and your period starting again. It seems logical to me that this is what would happen that your body would continue your period if not stopped by the birth control pill. If I am correct in my thinking you cannot be pregnant or get pregnant if you womb is cleaning itself with a period.
In my estimation you are not pregnant. If you want to make sure get a home pregnancy test and test but wait until at least Monday so that you have 10 days since your sexual experience when not on the pill. Should it come out positive don't freak out you may be testing too early. Wait 10 more days and test again.
I've served just about 4 years in the military and i'll be getting out and moving back to my home town in a few weeks. i joined when i just turned 18 and on my first vacation home i met a girl via mutual friends and have since become, for lack of a better term, "friends with benefits" although we do hang out together socially with others as well. i made it clear on the first night that i had alot of deeply rooted trust issues with women due to past relationships (but thats another story)and because i did live so far away i had absolutely no interest in a relationship.
we've met several times since when im in town and touched on the subject a few times and its been clear that she would like to be more. i've told her that my intentions havent changed mostly because im still emotionally afraid of being in a relationship. im afraid shes just going to get too emotionally attached to keep things how they are so it wouldnt be right to continue as we have been.
but because of my inability to trust her even though shes never given me reason not to i wont be able to provide with with a healthy relationship and will just end up hurting her. im sure shed be willing to work through this with me if we did move forward but would it be fair for me to do that to her? it may take me well over a year to truly work though this for all i know. or would it be better if we just cut ties so she could find a man deserving of the great woman she is.
My son could have written this letter as he too has trust as well as commitment issues due to being hurt by a girl he wanted to marry. I will tell you what I have told him.
In your case I need to modify it a bit as you have a girl you think will work through this with you. If so and you think when you do work through this issue you can make a life with her than keep her, but talk to her and make sure she is willing.
You are not going to work through these issues on your own they are more powerful then you think. It is unfortunate that you did not address these issues while you were still in the military as it would not have cost you anything as the military has free medical. You might mention it during your out processing physical if you have not already had it. It may be possible that the VA will pick up the cost of you seeing a psychologist if you do.
A psychologist is the person you need to see to get help with this problem. No you are not mentally ill. Not all people who seek help from a therapist have a mental illness. Psychologists are people you can go to a talk about things you would not even tell your mother or your wife trusting in the knowledge that whatever you say to your therapist stays with your therapist. Everything you say in therapy is confidential even in group therapy should that be a recommendation of the therapist.
By talking about whatever caused you to lose your trust in women a psychologist can help you deal with it in such a manner that you can put it behind you and move forward with your life. Losing trust or faith in anyone class of people or persons is a horrible way to go through life. Yes you can learn to regain faith in those who you have lost faith in. By seeking the help of a psychologist you can do so, faster and better and in a manner that is lasting, then by trying to do so by yourself.
You say, "I'm sure she would be willing to work through this with me." This is the beginning of trust and trusting, this as I see it as a good move one you will help you if you allow her to help you and work with you. She will need to work with your therapist in order to help you. No the therapist will not disclose to her anything you do not give permission to disclose. What the therapist will do is give her instructions as to how to help you between visits. Possibly give her some type of trust exercises to work with you on that you and the therapist can discuss at future visits.
My advice is that you take the next step but you do so under the guidance of a physiologist. This can only help you especially if this girl is willing to help you. If she is then this alone tells me she is invested in the long haul with you and this makes her a keeper. This is the advice I would have and have given my son.
I'm thinking of starting schooling in Dental Assisting at a local community college, they offer a 2 year degree and also a diploma.
Does anyone know what the advantages to getting the degree over the diploma would be? Because the diploma is so much cheaper....
Thanks in advance!
This is a question I believe you should ask a course advisor at the community college. To me a degree and diploma are somewhat synonymous so I have a hard time thinking about what could be the difference.
There is a difference between an AA degree and a BA degree which are diploma titles. Most community colleges only offer AA degrees as that is all you can achieve in 2 years of study. You need 4 years of study to achieve a BA degree.
So talk to a course advisor at the college, this is what they are there for and get the information straight from the horses mouth; as it is said. This way you have the meaning as the school understands it and not how anyone of us thinks it might be.
Me and my boyfriend were fooling about 2 or 3 weeks ago and yes we had sex and instead of using a condom he pulled out quite a while before. He used a wipe and got rid of it but is it possible for there to be any sperm left anywhere on or in the penis, becuase after we were still pretty caught up in it all and went for round two. Im just worrying that there could of been some sperm left that we didn't know about.?
He told me that sperm dies once it hits oxygen but I have read otherwise and im just looking for some advice.
First to answer your question. Sperm can live outside in an oxygen atmosphere on your body for some time. You should clean up all that is ejaculated with a good soap and warm water especially around your vagina. Remember sperm swims within the body, on the surface it can wiggle towards the vagina if close enough. While it does not happen often it is not unheard of for a woman to get pregnant when her partner ejaculates on or very near her vagina.
No I'm a bit disturbed by what you wrote for I do not understand if there was semen on your boyfriends penis when he pulled out of you. If so then there is semen in you. The semen on his penis is pre ejaculate that is emitted long before he orgasms and ejaculates. It is a lubricant and is loaded with enough semen to impregnate a woman.
The pull out method of birth control has the highest failure rate of all methods of birth control for two reasons.
1. The pre-ejaculate (aka) precum. This happens without any feeling to the male and there is no way for him to control it. A condom prevents this precum from causing a pregnancy if worn right.
2. Ejaculation control. Most males, especially young males cannot or do not have the self-control to pull out once they start to orgasm. The feeling they get from the orgasm itself building in them requires too much self-control to allow them to pull out. They need to do so long before there orgasm starts and even then the precum may have been emitted.
The pull out method also relies heavily on the rhythm method of birth control where you do not engage in sex during the 7th and 21st day of your cycle when you are most likely to ovulate. This too is a very poor form of birth control.
The three best forms of birth control in descending order are; Abstention, Birth control medication and condom use. Condoms also protect in the transmission of most STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Whenever you have sex with someone and do not use a condom you are having sex with every person that person has had unsafe sex with in the pass. That person need not be infected but could be a carrier.
Is it worth the risk; I don't think so. If you are 14 years or older you are entitled to birth control by Federal law called HIPPA. This law covers your reproductive systems health and offers you medical confidentiality for anything relating to your reproductive system.
All you need say to your doctor is you need to have a conversation covered under HIPPA. IF mom is with you in the exam room she will be asked to leave. You can then ask for birth control medication and the doctor must write you a prescription as long as there is no other medical condition that would prohibit it. You parents cannot be told of any visit you make to your doctor covered under HIPPA.
You can also go to any store where condoms are sold and purchase them without objection. You may be asked for proof of age to see that you are 14 or older but that is rare. You can also go to any free clinic for women and be examined and prescribed birth control or get condoms. You do not need parental permission to see a doctor regarding anything to do with your reproductive system. The records of these visits are totally confidential and can only be seen by those you give the doctor or clinic expressed written permission.
21/f
I've been dating a guy for three months. We've also only known each other for three and a half months. I don't know anything about him "under the surface." I don't know how he generally is, personality wise. I only know about what he does for a living, what he likes to eat, etc. Nothing that I can actually really connect with. In other words, we don't have many deep conversations.
Since we've been dating, we have not discussed whether or not we were exclusive. We were both aware that we would not be happy if one of us were seeing other people other than each other. Here's the thing, we met online. Ever since I met him, I stopped going onto my profile but he was still on it. Recently, I noticed that he has been getting on it more frequently. Speaking about it has gotten us nowhere. He just mentioned that he has been chatting with a few people but he has not been seeing them.
I will admit that I have brought in some of my trust issues from my previous relationships just because they have turned out terribly due to trust. I have been doing what is called "mirroring", whatever he does, I do. If he texts me, I text him. If he calls, I call him. He went on his dating profile, I go on my dating profile. Whenever he finds out that someone has been chatting with me, his mood changes and he becomes quiet. I sometimes notice that he would glance at my phone whenever I'm on it next to him. I'll admit, I do the same thing sometimes.
Other than the fact that he's been getting on his dating profile more often, he has not given me any reason not to trust him. He has not lied, he has been completely honest with me, he talks to me everyday, and he tells me about what he did that day. What could be wrong?
I can't help but be insecure or suspicious of him seeing someone else. I think of the worst scenario and it drives me crazy. I'm worried when I shouldn't be worried. Help?
It sounds like you are dating my son, though I don't think you are he is generally very committed to the person he's dating until he has reason not to be. My son has trust issues like you born from a relationship he had with a women he deeply thought he would marry.
Once we lose our trust or faith in our fellow man it is hard to trust anyone again. While you have gone that far in saying it I believe this is your problem and it is the same problem he deals with. So I will tell you what I told him.
I once had a sales manager that trusted no one. He constantly harped on that when he traveled with me to the point I couldn't deal with it. I trust people until I find I cannot trust then, and then I work to find out why I can't trust them and try to correct it so we can trust each other again. As I saw it trust was a big part of what I did, without it you can't be successful. The reason I found he trusted no one truly trusted him and what people told me about him behind his back which included my customers. It is kind of hard to travel with your boss when you customer ask not to bring him with you.
The point of what I have just told you is you have to give trust to get trust. The old story is you have to earn trust, which is true but you also have be trusting to get trust.
Stop checking up on him to see if he is checking his profile. If he is not giving you reason not to trust him, then give him some trust and see where it leads. I know this might be hard considering the trust issues you may have but you have to break that cycle and start over.
Not trusting people leads to self-doubt, which leads to self-esteem issues and possibly depression. It not worth it, if you find you can't trust someone they are not worth it and they don't deserve you.
Remember the old saying that all you need do is "live, die and pay taxes." Well that is not quite true. What you really have to do is to be a better person tomorrow than you are today. If you can do that and you can learn to trust people then you will be successful in all walks of life; including your love life. Stop doubting yourself and wait until you have reason to not trust him or anyone else.
There's this guy I've been sort of seeing, I've known him for 2 years. Before we ever hung out he would flirt with me whenever he seen me by putting his arms around my waist, touching my butt or joking around to make me laugh. He is 15 years older and has a kid but I don't mind cause I like kids and his is great. Anyhow in the last 3 weeks we've went for breakfast twice where he insisted on paying (I felt bad cause I like taking turns paying), we had sex a couple times which was amazing, we cuddled and watched movies together, he told me I could leave pjs at his house and he would even hold my hand while we drove around the city. The only problem is that he barely contacts me and I get mixed messages from him. He's very focused on his work but even so he never calls or texts. I can understand when he spends time with his kid or is working. I can even understand that he will be tired somedays. I'm just curious if I'm being led on considering we get along so well, then there's no interaction for a period of time and I feel as if I always have to take initiative at that point though I usually choose not to. FYI we both are single and I know he's not seeing anyone else. Think about this: we never talked for a week and then we ran into eachother while I was with a friend and he walked up, put his arm around my waist and genuinely smiled at me. Does this mean he's actually interested in pursuing something or what?
This is one of those questions that is hard to answer because you have to know the person to answer it. That being said this is what I see in what you wrote.
He is 15 years older than you and he is I assume divorced, though it is not said. The fact that he insisted on paying for breakfast says a lot about him and how he feels about you.
The 15 year age difference is or should not be a big deal but it could be; something you and he need to talk about and clear the air about. The fact that he has a kid is also something you have to discuss especially if you see any type of future together. He has to know your feelings towards his child and how you would feel about being a stepmother if things were to progress to that point.
Now his being divorced. This could be the biggest hurdle you have to overcome to get him to come out of his shell and be the person you would like him to be. When people go through a divorce it hurts them in many ways. He may be hesitant to get involved in any type of relationship for fear of being hurt again. This is a real fear for him as once hurt like this there are some who do not want to go through it again in any type of relationship that could lead to a break up.
If you see this man as someone you want to make a life with then you are going to have to make the first and even second and third moves. Yes you have had sex together but that in this day is not really the first move. You are going to have to tell him how you feel about him, how you feel about potentially being a stepmom and wanting to make a life with him. You will for sometime have to reassure him you will do your best not to hurt him. You will have to draw out of him what went wrong in his marriage to cause the divorce and assure him it won't happen with you.
As for him paying for breakfast and anything else he may pay for. This is to me a good sign. This is a sign of his respect for you as a lady which is a step I believe in the direction you wish your relationship with him to go.
Short answer to your question. Yes I think he does have some feelings for you. Those feelings may be held in check for fear of being hurt as he was by his divorce. These are real not imagined and will need a lot of TLC on your part towards him for him to overcome.
Communication between you two is going to be the key to a successful relationship. It won't happen overnight and he most likely won't initiate these conversations you will have to. Take it slow, make it pillow talk if need be; but try to draw him out of the protective shell I believe he has drawn around him.