|
child support and custody
My husband and i have been married 2 1/2 years now and he has a daughter from a previous relationship. Love her to death. Her mother has never been reasonable and lately has made things difficult. Well, firstly she decided to quit her job and live off just her child support and wants to get it increased. Can she legally do this since she willingly quit her job? My husband just got promoted to a manager and got a 10,000$ pay increase I am worried she will try and take all she can so she can remain unemployed. We only have his daughter 8 days a month. It is hard to keep her more since we both work 2-11 jobs. I did work a job that allowed me to have 3 days off and watch her for part of the day by myself while my husband worked and her mother said unless I became her friend and got to know her that she didn't want me alone with her daughter. Which was odd that she would have a problem after so many years. So she took their daughter during the time we would have had her and would not allow us to see her. She is custodial parent but can she legally just take her and not tell us where she is and not allow us to have her? The other day we got a text from a mutual friend saying that her mother was hungover and their daughter was sitting in soiled clothes crying and had been since last night, our friend told us that her mother took her to a party at her boyfriend's house and got too drunk to take care of her and our friend ended up watching her since she was worried. My husband got mad and went over there and picked her up a few hours after getting that message and her mother was awake and their daughter only wearing a shirt and still soiled. We had to take her home like that and clean her up. Today she has been texting us saying we are not working with her and she wants to take it to a lawyer. Do you think we have a chance in a custody battle? My boyfriend does have a mosdemeanor on his record that might make a custody battle hard, should this be a worry? I need general advice on what steps we should take next and how we should approach this from a legal stand point.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Hello!
First off, I am going through the same ordeal as you are except I'm the mother and her bio father is suing me for custody. So I'm in the middle of the whole "law" thing and my major is Criminal Justice/Law. So I would definitely recommend that your husband hire a lawyer or, at least, consult in one about his options. Each state has varying laws when it comes to child support enforcement. So definitely give an attorney a call, but be sure to find out their rates first since each attorney's rates vary!
Best,
DM
]
Razhie is correct about the legal advice. I do not believe any of us are lawyers and in any case it would be wrong of us to give legal advice without first meeting with you if we were lawyers. What I will do is share with you what I do know about what seems to be common in custody case in the U.S. Courts.
For the longest time judges have been somewhat predisposed to give child custody to the mothers unless you can prove beyond any doubt, not just reasonable doubt to the judge that the mother is unfit. Then the judge may still award custody with provisions for monitoring of the mothers care of the child. This trend is slowly changing.
Child care money is meant for the care of the child. A portion of that money can be spent on general living expenses such as rent and utilities though not full value of these items. Child care money is not meant for the care and upkeep of the mother.
Increase in child care support: Every time the non-custodial parent receives and increase in earnings the custodial parent can bring the other back to court for an increase in child care. There may be wording in their divorce decree to the effect that what she is getting is all she will get for child care though this is usually in the decrees of the rich and famous.
Can you two get custody. It is possible but it would be better if you two were married. Judges still frown on cohabitation as not a fit family situation to raise a child in. Now an over riding factor could be that the mother is just not fit to raise the child. This would mean bringing the emails and the people that wrote them to court to testify. Still the judge may place the child with grandparents or make the child a ward of the court.
As for the misdemeanor offence on his record. I personally do not believe it will have much effect though it depends on what it is for. More so it depends on the judge and each judge may look at the offense differently.
My advice is to first consult a lawyer who specializes in Family Law in the state the EX would go to court in. Then consider getting married if you truly want to have custody of the child.
]
You need legal advice. Legal advice that is specific to your country and your state. We can't offer that here.
Custody battles are expensive, difficult and often take a long time, but yes, you certainly have a chance. Some people will tell you fathers have no chance in custody battles, but that's really not true. When custody is contested, fathers are slightly less likely overall than mothers to get the custody arrangement they prefer, but family courts are not nearly so hard on fathers as the gossip suggests.
Whatever your chances, and whatever the expense, it does sound like this little girl is not safe in her mother's care. Forget about the money, and her unemployment for a moment - those are nasty things, and sometimes exes are nasty - but getting too drunk to care for a toddler is not nasty, it's dangerous. That can't be tolerated.
You might be best to reach out to a support group or charity to give you advice first, if you aren't ready to go a lawyer quite yet, but it sounds like that is the way this might need to head.
]
More Questions: |