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I really like my step brother and don't know how to tell him.
So my mom has a boyfriend that she's had for 13 years now. He has a son that i do not think of as a brother.i have had a crush on him for many years now. His son in a few years older then me, but I'm also over 18. I would like to tell him that i have had a crush on him n think sexual thoughts about him at night. We don't see each other very often but I'm dying to know if he feels that kinda way about me. Im not sure about it because some signals he sends seems like he's flirting but I'm not positive. I don't know how to ask him or tell him. Please help me somebody.
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THIS IS WEIRD! There's no way that you can go out with your step- brother! You're mom is dating is dad. So he's technically part of your family. If I were you, I wouldn't be crushing on him even if he's hot. The best thing to do is to look for another guy, because you never know if your step brother already has a girlfriend and you barely know him. So the question is. How can you like a guy, if you never met him. You only like him about his hotness,not because of his personality. And also,instead of going out with your step brother go look for a guy who's out there waiting for you!
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I hate to be a downer, but I deffiantly would not hook up with your step brother. That is going to cause so many problems for you and your family. Just don't get yourslef involved in that.
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Please stop and ask yourself this question first: Out of all the boys in the world to choose from, why are you crushing on your step-brother? Thirteen years of family togetherness should have put him in the brother category by now. Surely you think of his father in a fatherly way after 13 years as well! I can't help but think there are underlying issues here. You have to know this would be awkward at best and possibly devastating to your mom's relationship with his father. Do you think perhaps you have a secret desire to destroy their relationship? My advice is to not pursue this but if you feel you must, please don't act first and then surprise the parents with it later! You must also consider the possibility of the relationship NOT working out and both your parents being drawn into it and forced to take sides against each other. I'm sorry but I just can't help feeling this would be a very selfish thing for you and your step-brother to do. I think you should consider your family first. Good luck!
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If your mom and his dad are not married then he is not your step brother in the legal sense of the term. Even if they were there is no blood relation so any thoughts of incest are not founded which could be the reason you and he may be having trouble getting together. No blood relation, no incest.
You’re both over 18 so you can do whatever you like regardless of your parents situation. How would you co about approaching any other boy you might like to get to know better? If you have ever approached another boy to get to know him then I suggest you do so in the same manner with this guy? Do not treat him as a step brother; do not look at him as a step brother. Treat him as if he is any other guy.
In fact this is your opening. Start with; "you know _ _ _ _ we really are not step anything just two people whose parents know are in a great relationship." "Because of their relationship you and I know each other quite well and I don't know how you feel about me but I would really like to see if we have anything more than the relationship we have that comes from our parents’ relationship." Use your own words but pretty mush straight and two the point. If you know each other as well as well as I think you may then you should be able to have this type of conversation.
He may be thinking like you that you’re his step sister. Many people think that any relationship that might lead to a sexual relationship or even marriage between step children is incest. They are wrong and you may have to point this out to him. In fact it is my understanding that incest only can occur between siblings, parents, Aunts, Uncles and first cousins.
My advice is to talk to him and be as straight forward as you are comfortable being with him. He may feel the same way about you and like you just unsure how to approach you either.
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Your mom and his dad aren't legally married though, right? If they aren't, you should tell him in the best way possible. Try not to make it awkward, but get your point out there.
Good luck and take care,
Christina
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