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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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What to do when your boyfriend grabs your butt while kissing

A lot depends on whether you are okay with it or not. If you like it, you don't have to do anything or you could let him know you enjoy it.

If you don't like it, then let him know you enjoy kissing but butt grabbing is something you are not comfortable with.

If its where he does this, meaning not in private but in public places and it makes you feel uncomfortable or you are concerned about others being offended, then you need to let him know in a way where he knows you appreciate all his loving touches that show how much he desires and loves you but it really bothers you when its done in public where anyone can see. To you its something private. Those are the only 3 situations I can think of whether you do or dont need to do something.

So I will start off by saying 24/female. I have been now living around the world for two years, across 4 continents and am really enjoying this lifestyle for the moment. It is a true blessing that even though I made happen, I still feel lucky to have the opportunity. I even fell in love in one of these places, and though its not perfect due to the traveling nature of both our jobs, it makes me happy.

The question I want to ask is regarding friendship. My friends from back home although I try to keep them in the loop of my life as often as I can, do not really know what is happening, which country I am in, or any real details about my love life.

Recently talking to a friend from home she asked me how my relationship was, and I told her it was great, though i went into detail for the first time about why it is challenging. Her answer truly disturbed me and made me wonder, do good people say and think things out of jealousy subconsciously even when they don't mean to?

Her answer to me explaining the challenges of the relationship was matter of factly, without her really knowing the details, the guy, or the situation at all. it was simply: " I don't mean to hurt you but it sounds to me like you're just not the one for him, he doesnt really love you". She was implying that if he did love me none of the challenges I described would exist because in the end love conquers all????

For someone to say that when they don't know much about the situation just made me think...is it possible that people say things because they are subconsciously rooting for you to fail (not because of anything to do with you, but because they feel better about their own lives and situation if they see someone else struggling).

I don't want to think my friend is like this on purpose, or at all, but the whole ordeal just made me want to stop telling anyone any details and just keep what is my personal life to myself. In the end you are the one that has to live with it and make decisions, but having an answer as such coming from a friend really took me aback, not because I think she is right (although I've considered all sides of this), but because during the whole conversation, no other option seemed possible to her except that I should dump him and be single because he doesn't love me. And with this girl according to her no guy has ever loved me because this has always been her advice. (I've only had 3 guys in my whole life and not one of them was good enough or truly loved me according to her)

Just doesn't seem right to me.

What do you think?

2 things I want to bring up first before going on further. Razhies right about the assumptions thing going both ways. Assume pulled apart is Ass U Me. itS a good thing to remember that when we assume we know what someones going through, or assume someone is trying to root for you to fail, she just may simply not know, not have learned those lessons and mastered them yet in life. Its like a 7th grader expecting a 4th grader to Ace the same spelling words a 7th grader does. You may have aced some things in life, some parts of how to go about having a relationship that she simply has no clue about. In trying to empathize with someone, we often end up saying the wrong thing, I have done that on occasion and I'll have to admit, it still happens, but not because my intent is to do that, my intent is actually the opposite. What does happen is: too often the caring people out there, really do not know enough of your life or situation to be able to encourage the way that would be helpful.
Here's another way I can put it, its how God actually looks at our hearts intent rather than how it came out in the end not looking so good.
I remember vividly talking to God after my ex chewed me out and I wondered if indeed I might have been in the wrong. I asked God if I was and needed to apologize. His answer to me was, "Hon, I can see your heart and your intent was in the right place. The only real problem is with him and how he interpreted your tone of voice. He's not mature enough to look past that, only focused on your tone of voice. So if you want to try improving, just watch your tone of voice next time, Otherwise, I have no problem with how you handled things."

This brings us to number 2 issue: People taking things too personally most the time. This could mean we are too sensitive and easily hurt, usually when we suffer some low self esteem or low self confidence in the first place. If I know I am doing the best decision I know how at the time for me, then no ones comment or actions can eat at me. Its when someone is tossing negative stuff at you 24/7 you can get stressed by having to hear it over and over as in my past verbally abusive marriage, and thats when it is time to cut off the relationship and remove yourself from associating with such a person. In the case of your friend, I highly doubt she's like this with you around the clock. If she is tho, and you've done everything on your end to grow and mature through these situations to not take things personally and not make assumptions, then it is okay to no longer associate with her, not out of hated or disgust for her, but simply out of love for yourself first, loving yourself enough to remove yourself from a harmful situations for you.

I will admit that there are times when a girl who for whatever reasons is doing something wrong or picking the wrong guys, ends up jealous when seeing friends with boyfriends, and in order to feel better, do a trick humans having been doing for ages, find ways to lower their friend back down to their status so they can feel better about themselves.

Its a subconscious action most people are unaware they are doing, but in order to feel better about themselves, instead of growing maturing and bettering themselves so they become good relationship material and start attracting others, they will try to purposely sabotage or talk friends out of relationships to bring their status back down to hers, being single so she can feel better about cus now she feels more normal hanging out with other single women.If indeed this is what she is doing, you may want to reconsider how you choose your friends because this is not the action a friend would take on a friend.

I'm 25/f. I can't take my relationship with my family anymore, and I would like to leave the city, but I can't at the moment. Allow me to further explain. Since I can remember, my family has been overly controlling. Since I was about 5 years old, they told me where I was going to go to college... and it was in the same city. They let me know that it was unacceptable to go away for school. You would think that as I got older, the control would subside. But, it has only gotten worse. They tell me who to date, who I can't date, etc. I can't take this anymore.

I was living in the next county in an apartment that I really hated. I hated my job there and the place that I was living. So, I moved back to my county, but got an apartment. I didn't move back in with my family. They hated the apartment I moved into and this prompted them to fix my mom's old house and give it to me as a gift. Mind you... this wasn't solely done for me, but it was necessary because it would increase the value of the house. But, I thought that this was the answer to all my problems. I would be able to sleep at my house and my mom sleep in hers.

A couple of months ago, my great aunt sold her house and moved in with my mom. She was given my bedroom. So, for about a year before I originally moved, I didn't have my own bedroom!!! I had to sleep with my mom. In each of the apartments I had, I had 3 roomates. So, getting my own house felt like I was a queen. Until I actually moved in... and realized that this was just a trap to keep me under surveillance.

My grandmother basically told my mom that she had to stay over with me and sleep there... in my bed... in my room. And that I shouldn't stay there alone. When she doesn't stay, she comes knocking on my door at 7am. She dictates who can and cannot come over. She calls me insistently to tell me that I need to kick out guests. When my best friend of 10 years wanted to stay over because she was too tired to drive home... my mom made me kick her out of the house! This has gone above and beyond what's acceptable. When I told her that I wasn't going to listen to her and that my bff had to stay over or if not she was going to get into an accident... she said I was a lesbian and didn't want anything to do with me. Then, she came knocking on my door at 7am... banging on the doors to wake me up and kick us out of the house because she said a cleaning crew was coming.

I'm so extremely tired. This is not a way to live. I don't want this house anymore because it comes with strings. I told her and she basically told me off and said that they shouldn't have fixed the house for me. Maybe not... but they also shouldn't have given my room away without asking me first. Or just expect me with being ok with sleeping in the same bed as mom without an end in sight.

My family only perpetuates this unhealthy attachment with my mom. They tell me that I can't even put gas in my car without her coming. This family is absolutely dysfunctional and I'm just done. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to sleep in the same bed as my mom anymore. I don't want to have her accompany me to put gas. I don't want her telling me who I can and can't date. I don't want to have to report everything to her like if I was a child. I'm an adult with a full time job and a college degree. Last weekend, I got on a plane and went out of town. I never felt so happy and free in my life. Like I had to be looking over my shoulder. I literally feel stalked all the time. One day, I told her I was at the sprint store and I was literally across the street getting a sandwich. I was going to the sprint store... I just failed to tell her I was getting a sandwich. she literally texted me saying she drove by the sprint store and didn't see me inside. She expects me to tell her every move I make.

I've decided that I want to move away from this city so I don't have to feel that way anymore. But, the problem is that I'm currently in the process of getting my master's degree and I have a year left of school. I need to finish my degree so that I can find a good job to support myself in another city. I can't transfer because I'm already too far into the program and all I need is another year. But, I've realized that within that year, I can't continue living like this! It's effecting my school-work. It's effecting my job. My stomach feels sick all the time and I have to miss days. I need to move to an apartment where I can study and feel at rest.

But, I need help and advice. Staying in my house would mean saving more money. But, is it worth it if I am feeling physically ill and it's effecting all aspects of my life? Is it worth saving money if I can't be an independent adult. Are there any laws to protect me in this situation? At all?

I was in an abusive marriage before and swallowed my pride and began to ask every single person I worked with, friends, etc. if they had a room or space for me and take me in cus I am trying to escape a really bad living situation. If they ask tell them. I did this and no one local but friends out of state said I could come stay for free until I got on my own two feet, however long it took.
You may have to resort to the same. I know what you
re going through is stressful and what stress does, it has to go somewhere and its either emotionally or physically or both. So you can go insane but me, it affected my health with all sorts of illnesses that can be caused by stress, headaches, migraines, stomach ulcers, all over body rashes, high blood pressure. I suffered all. I am glad I left when I did. I know it will be hard to not associate with family anymore. If any have your phone number, change it and don't hand it out. Find people to stay with and maybe pay at least to help cover your use of hot water and meals. The reason they continue to harass you since you became an adult is because they believe you are too weak to stand up to them.

Hope all works out well for you.

I don't really think of myself as a tomboy per se. I like getting dressed up in nice dresses with my hair done. I like girly clothes, chick flicks, and I absolutely love getting pedicures and massages.

But there are some things about me that are quite tomboyish. While I may like wearing dresses and other girly clothes, I mostly wear jeans and t-shirts. I don't like capri pants or shorts (especially short shorts) because I'm embarrassed of my legs. They're disproportionately skinny and badly scared from surgery and cutting myself shaving a LOT. I wear blingy jeans, but they're kind of baggy because tight jeans would show how skinny my legs are. I mainly wear t-shirts and sweatshirts because I find them more comfortable. Cute, girly tops are cute, but they frequently don't have sleeves or their collars come down further than other shirts. That feels strange to me. I'm very cold natured and get cold in those clothes easily. When I wear dresses, I have to wear flats or wedges because heels hurt my feet and I'm extremely clumsy in them. I do like flip flops and Uggs, but often wear basketball shoes as well. I have mixed feelings about makeup. I like looking nice when I wear it, but I have a problem with dry eyes and hate that I can't rub my eyes when I wear makeup.

Aside from the way I dress, there are other things. When I was little, I liked Barbies and stuffed animals, but I also liked toy trucks, hot wheels, k'nex, legos, and video games. When my family would go though the drive thru at McDonald's and my parents would order me a happy meal, the person taking the order would ask if we needed a boy toy or a girl toy as the prize and they'd always order a boy toy because they knew that's what I'd prefer. I got a BB gun when I was ten and loved it. I got a pellet gun, a 22, and a .410 shotgun all within a year of the BB gun and loved them all. I could spend hours target shooting and not get bored.

Finally, my career choice is rather tomboyish. I'm currently training to be a storm chaser (probably more of a storm spotter actually). I've always wanted a career that would allow me to help people and storm chaser (or spotter) seems to be the best fit. I've always been deeply fascinated by the weather, particularly tornadoes, and when I'm that interested in something, I want to learn as much about it as possible. I feel like I could be a very well educated and well trained storm chaser or spotter and could do a good job of tracking severe weather conditions, warning people of them, and studying them to find ways of creating more advanced severe weather alert systems. I'd be a dream come true, but it's kind of a tomboyish career.

Thing is, I've never really minded being a tomboy. I've always just been me, and no one else has really ever had a problem with it either. My parents, the rest of my family, and my friends have all always accepted it. But there's just one tiny problem that comes with being one. Not to be offensive, but it's no secret that when a person of one gender displays characteristics of the other gender, their sexual orientation becomes a matter of dispute. I don't have anything against lesbians, but when you're not one and are in fact a single woman searching for a husband, it can be problem. A problem that i don't know how to fix. It's not like i can go around saying, "I'm not a lesbian." but i also can't get a husband if every guy thinks I'm not into guys. The simple solution seems to be to simply be girlier, but i keep hearing, "just be yourself. Don't pretend to be something you're not for a guy." Am i worrying too much?

Lets start with your statement at the end, " i also can't get a husband if every guy thinks I'm not into guys.

How do you know that Every guy is thinking this? Every is quite an exaggeration unless you have proof from either you having the gift of mind reading and can hear all mens thoughts, or every single guy you've ever interacted with on some level has asked you if you are a lesbian.
If one has asked, its just one person misreading it, not every single male. I am not picking on you dear. Most humans do this kind of thing with their thinking and reasoning. Me too although I know what I am looking for and catch myself and stop myself when my thoughts get a bit distorted like that.

Now as for all the things you mentioned, what you wear to toy preferances as a kid, etc. It almost describes me perfectly. I wear pants more than dresses but enjoy dressing up. I hate heels and won't when them cus I'd twist my ankle or be in extreme pain from trying to walk in them for 5-10 mins. You do not have to be dressed in sexy tight fighting clothes, dresses or heels for a guy to notice you. I am in my fifties and males of all ages still notice me, and some even smile and wink. The big difference isnt how I have my hair that day, my makeup or lack of it, or what I am wearing. I could wear that before and not be noticed. But I gained self confidence, the kind that is realistic and doesnt compare myself to the model type or perfection that media pushes. Many men fall for women of differing types simply because that is their personal preferance. Tell me, are you physically attracted to every single guy you see every day? Of course not and thats because you have a personal preference too. I don't see a storm chaser as a male career.
YEs, lots of guys veer toward things others may see as an adrenaline rush but that isn't your reason for doing it. You need to stop caring about what other people think. I wish I could when I was your age but I didnt learn until mid way through my thirties to not care what others were thinking. The process of doing what I wanted, doing what I feared was going to bring negative thoughts and treatments, is what I actually did on purpose, alot to get past the fears and it didn't take long when facing fears. So be yourself hon. When you are ready to marry, forget this looking for a needle in a haystack, and try Match.com the best dating site for finding the kind of man who wants to marry. Those just looking for social dating or a sex partner will gravitate toward the free sites. This one if you answer all personal questions truthfully, will give you a list of men who would appreciate you just as you are and enjoy you being able to be so versatile, a sexy beautiful wife as well as being able to fit in with the guys.

Hi, what does he mean, when he randomly hugged and kissed me on the cheek? We're friends and we joke and wind each other up a lot and in our late 20's. We hardly hug and kiss but he's moving and it was more like a goodbye hug and kiss on the cheek but then he asked for it however felt like he wanted me to know something or maybe I'm overthinking probably, I don't know, I've noticed he'd make excuses coming closer and chatting along and giving side hug but only just holding up to my arms from his side. Should I be expecting anything from this? I think he fancies me but not sure. I do fancy him though. What should I do?
Cheers!!

Flirting is one thing and can be mistaken if its just a friendly person and their personality. But body language doesn't lie. I wouldn't be focusing on just the hug and kiss goodbye but his body language throughout the time of being friends. Either he sees you just as a friend or he's been waiting for you to give some sign back that you fancy him too.
So I suggest you find articles on line and you tube videos about body language and flirting to discover whether his behaviour has been pointing out that he is interested. Depending on how far away he'll be, it may not be feasible to see each other and date anyways so you may not want to learn for getting together with him but to know the signals to catch em earlier with the next guy.

Why does guys flirt

Males may be braver to flirt, but females flirt too. There is too much to say to tell you all so I looked up an article that says what i would have written in answer. Here it is:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/the-psychology-of-flirtation-how-to-know-when-someones-interested-10331971.html

By the end of the article, you'll see that the added benefit of being able to read body language is very important in helping determine if someone is interested. So I encourage you to do searches for "Examples of body language in flirting" and read it well.
Once you know some basics, you'll find yourself doing it and others too. Say if some guy walks up to you to stand close enough to reach out an arm, arms length away or closer and you do not feel attracted nor like the guy, you will subconsciously feel uncomfortable and need to recreate that space barrier around you so you will step back a few steps or more. Guys will do it too. If you are talking with someone, another subconscious thing people do when they like each other is start leaning toward each other as they are chatting, and yet another is mimicking/aping the other persons movements somewhat. If one crosses their legs, the other will reposition their legs right away too, maybe not exact position tho, and if you reach up to tuck your hair behind your ear, he might reach up to scratch his eye or smooth back his hair. How one positions themselves also show interest and combined with flirty looks and talk are much more a for sure sign someone is checking you out to see if they still like you or to see if you have an interest in them in return by whether or not you flirt and use body language to confirm .

I wanna convince my classmate teenager so how do I convince her

We've heard this same question on here often about
Convincing someone to have sex. So lets look at the definition: adjective
1.
persuading or assuring by argument or evidence

So now look at persuading:
to cause people to do or believe something, esp. by explaining why they should

Okay then, why should she have sex with you? YOu are a teen and teen boys are especially horny normally. The solution to take care of it, is to msaturbate. Teen girls if you're a girl, can get horny too. The solution is the same.

Most people are only going to be persuaded by a sales persons pitch if there is evidence that there is something good for them in the deal, that a product is more exceptional than all the other products on the market.
Now with gettng a girl to agree to sex with you, what is she gonna get out of it? Adults have sex for a couple reasons, one to take care of their desires to have sex, and the other is as an outpouring of the love they have for the other. I can tell you right now that the majority of females, even at a young age, know they want a guy to care about them, having feelings for them, like loving them and once they feel loved, they might want to have sex but some want to save virginity til marriage. It is not right to argue your case and mentally force a girl to give it up when inside she really doesnt want you. If you pretend that you care about her and trick her into having sex with you, then you can bet that she and others you 'use' sexually will spread the word around that you are a player, not serious and all the rest of females will avoid you like the plague. You'll create a bad reputation for yourself. It is much better to become a good friend for girls, take care of your needs yourself and wait until you are older and ready to be the kind of male who cares more about pleasing the female and her gratification in sex rather than seeking your own pleasure.
You see, the funny thing about doing sex that way, in the end, you are rewarded with a female who wants to please you in return and sex turns into a wonderful satisfying experience, much more so than just penis in vagina sex where the guy cums and the girl didn't get anything out of it cus he came fast and didn't work on her.

You might try studying books and videos to learn long before you're ready to have sex, on how to please a woman. For instance, most women don't have orgasms by intercourse, thats penis in vagina. Her clitorus is more on the outside. Even the G spot 2 inches in on the belly side of vagina doesnt get much stimulation from the penis so sex becomes hohum pretty quick if she doesnt cum too. IT also takes lots more time to get a women ready to cum than it takes a man. Would you be willing to finger her or use a toy on her for an hr or more before you finallly get to have intercourse? Are you concerned about her safety in not contracting an STD or getting pregnant. If those thoughts haven't crossed your mind, you're not ready yet. Use your young years as the time to do the studying on a womans body. If you can't find any good stuff even on the net, let me know and I'll get links for you.

If a guy has cancer and you swallow his cum do you get cancer ?

No. The cancer cells are attacking a specific area of the body like lungs or blood and I've never heard of cancer of cum. As far as I know, no one has ever caught cancer from another. HIV, Herpes, STD's, the common cold and the flu...yes those are communicable diseases.

... and ever since my dad's been talking about him, I've felt this high spiritual connection with him. Yet I haven't even met him. But I've never felt this spiritual love for another guy before. A little while ago, my dad finally sent me a picture of him, and he's... not my type. Like he isn't... attractive. But since I feel this spiritual connection towards him, do you think if I get to know his personality (start talking to him on a daily basis) I'll eventually find his looks attractive?

I know looks don't matter, so you don't have to tell me that.

Sometimes, the reason why certain traits about a person catch our attention is because it is part of our learning process of what we like or don't like about a person. This process is what people go through when searching for their mate/life long partner. You may not necessarily be aware ahead of time what traits you like until you experience them, see them in another or hear about them. So yes, this can definitely generate an interest in another.
The interest can be a sexual one, an intellectual one-meeting of minds, you think alike, reason things out the same way, same sense of humor, etc or a spiritual one, having close or the same passions, beliefs in deity and the afterlife, outlook on life, etc....

Loving who someone is on the inside doesnt make you all of a sudden like how they look on the outside. One does need to find a partner easy on the eyes, pleasant to look at if fate has it for you to be together with him. Remember theres whether his tastes lean towards you too. And he may be in a relationship.
At the least you may become great friends or at the most, a couple.

What do you think? Is it ok to love your partner even when you can't stop yourself cheating on him? I know he does cheat on me too but of course I can't blame him. Is it ok to still love each other this way?

Thanks in advance!

First I will address the issue of what cheating is:
Cheating is not talking to your partner about issues between you if there are any and getting them resolved but rather going outside the relationship to find those needs met.

Cheating is not being honest, not discussing it and coming clean with your partner.

Keeping it secret from each other is wrong and in most cases is hurtful to the other or can bring on jealousy or eventually resentment.
You don't mention your ages, how long you've been together or how many successful past relationships you've had and I feel that info is related to your situation.

In a marriage, there were vows made, a big commitment to just be with each other. As in the business world, any time one or both parties want to change that contract, they discuss it, first between themselves and then have a lawyer make changes to the business contract. A marriage is like that, you can't just both start doing your own thing, different from your original spoken or unspoken (assumed) promises to each other. The only way both of you can know for sure that you both want to stay together and give each other the okay to now have other outside relationships is to have a discussion and agree on it.

Most people can not handle one relationship successfully let alone a second one or more. Adding lovers will only bring out your worst points and weakness much much sooner and you will need to deal with them, mature and become a better person before you can handle a multi relationship deal with your partner. The same goes for him. Hon, thats just the way humans are, no other way about it.

In case you feel I have no idea what I am talking about, when I was still married to my ex, we got into the swinger world for a while but decided polyamory was more our style. So I know the pitfalls and what it takes to make such a relationship style work. Cheating does not work period!!!
That is dishonesty in a relationship and breaking of trust. Both will eventually break up a relationship. If that doesnt, jealousy will. It takes a special person who is secure enough in their self (high self confidence) and secure in their uniqueness to their partner to not become jealous. It is very rare to come across people who can emotionally handle this kind of arrangement. If in child bearing years, I recommend not going this way. I know married couples who waiting until they were done making babies and got snipped or birth control before getting together with others. Much less hassle over pregnancy worries. It would still be wise to use condoms with having many partners or you just may unknowingly be sharing herpes virus with your partner from another and the person who gets infected with an STD from their partner can be resentful and that again can break up a relationship.
Jasmine mentioned couples who love vs being in love. I agree there's a big difference. We can love a lot of things about a person and feel love for them, but that kind of love can still be torn apart by circumstances with the two going separate ways. Being in love, is when the other is part of yourself. To lose them is like losing an arm or leg. Being with them doing even the very ordinary things in life, chores, errands besides the fun stuff, is all more enjoyable special and memorable because they are there with you. There is a special tight bond that no one else can come in a steal one away as they have eyes only for each other. Perhaps in rare cases, an in love couple like this have a heart able to love more than one, not to make up for something missing in their partner, but just because their love has come to admire and then love another as well. I know of only two women in the poly community in my area who have successfully been able to do so and they both are elderly now. All the dozens upon dozens of others I watched fail, get angry, have fights, get jealous, become very defensesive, etc.... all the kinds of stuff that many people can claim they battle in life but in such relationships, or the attempt to create them, it fails miserably...I've been a witness to that.

I hope this all gives you something to think about. At the most to realize the way that you are going about this is not a good way to do so if your heart is set on it. If both of you choose to go down this path agreeing with each other having other relationships, then know that it depends on your maturity, the maturity of the extra partners whether you and your guy end up successfully staying together or losing each other. If you can't stand the thought of losing him, then you may want to think twice about continueing on this path.

It's not very frequent and fairly irregular, but sometimes my leg bothers me, usually the left but sometimes both, when I'm trying to sleep. It's a weird tingling, ticklish sensation, but not the sort of tickle that feels good. It doesn't hurt, but it makes it almost impossible to get comfortable and sometimes leaves me crying from frustration and irritation. It usually occurs in the area directly around my thighs where they joint to my pelvis, but sometimes happens in my knees too. I don't think it's restless leg syndrome, but not really sure. I'm female, 16, almost 17. Thankyou!

I worked for a while as a caregiver with elderly. When changing sheets for an elderly person, they told me I would find a bar of soap under the mattress sheet they slept on, right about where the lower leg would rest and I was to put it back when done because their Dr. recommended it as a non medicine way to stop their restless leg syndrome. He just used a cheap brand and it worked for him. So if using the soap or trying the pillow between the legs doesnt help, I would a Dr. on line what types of conditions could produce these symptoms and if it sounds like something to see your Family Dr. about. Just do a search for 'online physicians', you get a quick answer but you will not get a for sure diagnosis. YOu'd still need to go see your doctor.

my best friend hangs out with my other friend like every weekend or everyday and i never realy hang out with her as much anymore and i miss it just being us but then my other friend came along and just starts being her new best friend what do i do :(

The question is whether you've been invited to hang with them as a 3some of friends and whether you've chosen to ignore them. That is the best way to see both of them at once and not be missing out. I believe people can have more than one people who is a very close friend, a 'best' friend but that doesnt need to mean better than another, just different in ways that neither may have in common with you. Lets say one likes scary movies and the other doesnt. So when you want to go see the new scary movie at the theatre, you go with the one who likes that kind and perhaps the other likes swimming but the scary movie fan friend can't swim or has a fear of water. So you invite the swimming one to go to the pool with you or swimming at the lake. The other friend could go but would feel lonely watching you swim. So different is okay. You can have two best friends and so can those two. When you restrict yourself to one friend you are missing out on some things with the other. If no one has left you out or forgotton to invite you, you just need to start hanging out with both. If they are doing this on purpose, then I would follow Jasmines advice and let each of them know how it makes you feel.
If this brings no results, you may have to wait some years for each to mature and realize how to treat people better and find yourself some new friends in the mean while to hang with.

OMG! I really longed to have a pet cat but my mom is allergic. The only pets i like are cats! But my mom wont let me keep them because she is allergic to them! But I really want one! Please help!

Sincerely,
Confused Cat Lover

There are cats that are far less allergic to allergy sufferers but if the person is extra sensitive, finding a low allergy cat still may not work. But it is worth a try.
Read the attached article and be sure to have Mom read it. All the cats listed would require purchasing from a breeder as they aren't commonly found in pet stores or in the classified ads. She would first need to be willing to go this route and spend some time in the presence of such a cat to see if she is allergic. There are suggestions in the article but I would say to contact a breeder of the type of cat you want to try and ask if he'd call several people who've bought the cat from him and ask one if an allergic person can come to their place for a bit of time to see if they get an allergic reaction from the cat. Petting it and/or letting it lick ones hand is a good way to find out. Mom may not be willing to put in the time to find out. Or it still may not work, in which case, you'd have to wait until you are old enough to move out and have a place of your own to get a cat.

http://www.catster.com/cat-breeds/hypoallergenic-cat-breeds

Hi I'm 14 and I hump like once a day and I'm wondering does dry humping not make u not have ur period cause I'm scared that I might not have my period please help. I have never ever gotten my period and if you do help thank you. (I'm a female)

I will add one more thing. You are likely close to starting your period, in a few months, if the hormones are causing you to feel the kind of sexual desire to be satisfied by humping, masturbating. I started somewhere in my 14th year. Though some start earlier, this is quite normal also.
Females with a cycle tend to feel more aroused and more horny and wanting sexual relief just before their period, during the time they are ovulating. Its like the same link in animals that causes them to seek each other out to mate for procreation. They become horny too and that causes them to seek each other out.

What you mentioned does not prevent a period from happening. I;ll share right now that once you do have a regular cycle tho...it can be delayed by stress, illness or re-regulating its start time to match the period times of other women you are around, at home at school. None of it means something is wrong or you are pregnant if you havent had any sex.
Also when periods first start for teens your first year or yr and 1/2, you can have irregular cycles as your body is still getting used to the changes. So to have 2 periods in one month or skip then a month or two is quite normal as well as shorter period to longer ones, and very light to normal flows. If you always get a heavy flow so heavy you can't switch pads fast enough and it wont stop and its that way each time, Mom needs to take you to see a Dr to get a checkup. Most likely like some of my daughters friends, you'll be put on medication to regulate the period. If you have severe pain in the region, rashes, itchiness, trouble urinating or experience really off smells from your normal musk scent, then you may have a UTI,(bladder infection) or vaginal infection which females can get even if not yet having sex with partners.
I think I've covered most the questions girls have and write about concerning periods. If you come up with another question, just ask dear.

I'm a 20 year old female. My boyfriend got super drunk last night and texted me saying his ex has a nicer butt and prettier face. I broke up with him because I feel like drunk words are sober thoughts. He's begging for me back now and saying he'll never forgive himself even told me he loves me. We've been seeing each other for 5 months. Should I forgive him or should I let him go right now that I'm still early in the relationship?

I know as adviceman that when drunk, peoples inhibitions are lowered. As said, things they wouldn't do or say while sober, they suddenly find easy to say or do.
The real question to ask yourself is if this is a one time behavior or one of many such related events that are giving you a glimpse of who he is at core inside himself. These would be the things that make up his personality and character. My guess is he's somewhere close to your age so he may simply be very very inexperienced in common sense and how to interact with a girlfriend...you know...the do's and dont's.
So has he been unthoughtful in other ways, does he often stick his foot in his mouth and say the kind of things that tear you down rather than support and build you up. He may try to hide his true self but a glimpse of what he is really thinking, making comparisons while drunk, is very likely the way he tends to think most the time, but is sober enough to know to not share. As stated already, if he drinks to get drunk often, there may be a problem already, alcoholic or there will be problems in the near future if he doesnt get help soon. Being partnered up with someone who is taking their own life down the tubes will inadvertantly start taking yours down a road you don't want to go either. You know him best. If not sure, start watching to see how often he places himself in a situation of being so drunk he doesnt know what he's doing. It can hurt a relationship, can hurt his ability to hold a job, etc.. so think twice about staying if alcoholism is the issue.

Now as to the actual words said, I have an opinion on that too. I will use my 2nd husband as an example here. When we met, my husband told me even when he was a kid still, he dreamed of meeting and marrying a woman with my body type. He didn't have a clear image in mind of face but it wasnt a one time statement and told when sober as he never gets drunk. He doesnt wait for me to ask him how I look but compliments me all the time, saying how he likes how my butt looks in a certain pair of pants or my chest in a certain top. I get the compliments with the clothes off too. To be realistic, we've also had conversations about people we both dated in the past. He has never said anything about a previous girlfriend being nicer or prettier. I have never done than either in comparisons. All we have shared is what the case truly is, that they were different, smaller or larger breasted, a flatter, broader or more heart shaped butt. Since I have the flatter shape and according to him and my own observations, when he says a previous girlfriend had a heart shaped butt but says nothing else...I might start thinking, oh he likes that better, I have the wrong shape. But what he will add is, the other shapes are personal favorites for some guys but I actually like the flatter look better especially in the right jeans cus you don't end up looking like you have a 'bubble butt'. I had to laugh at that...well I know I dont have a bubble butt and that his personal preference is mine type.
The example here is that it is okay that exs looked different. Some guys don't have a preference on the size of boobs or butt or what the face exactly looks like, they are more interested in who the person is inside. Its not about one looking prettier or better than another, so he made a bad choice of words which could be due to being drunk, but he was making comparisons. Instead, it would have been better for him to be reinforcing in you what it is he likes a bout you all along while sober as my husband does. then it would be easier to toss away and not pay mind to what he said while drunk.
It was thoughtless for sure. Making better or worse comparisons are not a wise way to go in relationships. People are going to be different and everyone is going to have different tastes in what appeals to them visually. But some of us have a mate who has changed over the years as we age, so they don't look like they did while young. If this guy is the kind who is superficial enough to only look skin deep when choosing a gal for a relationship, then it is also likely he can easily choose to leave you for a younger gal when you get older, after you have kids, or just because another pair of pretty eyes caught his attention and he becomes unfaithful. So you need to discover how he feels about women in general.

A good way is to engage him in conversation some day when he's feeling good and relaxed and just start asking questions, but do not be in a jealous or defensive mood at the time or he will subconsciously pick up on it and clam up. Make it fun. While at the mall, 'lets play a game. I'll point at a woman and you tell me if you think shes attractive and why. Then you do the same for me." If its one sided, he'll suspect you're up to something. Actually I know lots of very happily married secure couples who play this game or a version of it. They are secure knowing each loves the other exactly as they are and are not yearning for anything more. In 5 months, if you two do not talk about lots of deep heavy subjects like this often enough, its hard to get to know each other. Just knowing his current favorite rock band and favorite foods is not going to do it. Going to movies and never talking doesnt help. Have the kind of dates where you can really talk. If he is unwilling to talk and share enough for you to get a better feel of him, then even in many years or marriage, it will still be the same, 2nd guessing each other as he isn't willing to open up. So either take some time to get to know him better, really take lots of time in the next couple months and if you still feel wary about him, leave. You need to feel total trust, being able to bare your heart to him, like even sharing the things you shared here, not blaming him or anything but letting him know how it made you feel. If you can't, he wont have opportunity to know he needs to correct his behavior, wont have opportunity to apologize for unintentionally hurting you, and wont have the chance to learn to do better next time. If you don't have trust in him now, you'll never feel secure in the relationship and that will make dating him any longer useless. We date to discover the things that pull us even closer together or the things about someone that we just can't put up with every day becuase they are harmful or hurtful to us in some way. Once discovered, then those bad things are the signal that its time to part and start all over, this time looking for someone better, who doesnt have the same bad trait as the last one.

I'm 17,F. I've had a crush on this guy for a couple years, and recently I've been trying to get up the courage to tell my friends and then try to talk to him/tell him I like him. However, just this morning I found out that over March break he went on a date with another girl.

My friend who told me was all excited, because she thinks they will make a great couple, and I see her point, but this news left me totally shaken. I felt betrayed, even though no one knew they were doing anything to me, because no one knows how i feel about him.

How do I get over my feelings for him? I've had a crush on this guy for 3 years, and for the past 2 months I've been crushing especially hard...Also, the girl he's with now is sort of one of my friends, and I don't want to hold a grudge of any kind against her, but it's really hard...every time I saw either one of them in the hallway today, I nearly started crying. I couldn't concentrate on anything.

How do I move on? I think I have sort of had like a fantasy in my head for a while where I started dating this guy, but now that fantasy world has been destroyed! For the past few months, I have thought about this guy every day, so how do I stop now that he is no longer available? Because I don't want to go on wanting him when I can't....

I'm just so confused and upset...I don't know what to do...please help!

A crush is just a fantasy worked up in ones mind, not a reality. If brave enough to start a convo with and actually befriend a guy and see if theres a mutual liking, then it becomes reality. Dating then is the process to learn more about each other to see if you like other things too and the feelings grow or you discover that it was more the excitement of someone new in your life which wears off after a while or that there are some bad things concerning how he treats you and you break up and move on to find someone better, always leaerning from each relationship to find someone better than the last. You haven't even started with the first. I know its scary but a single guy is open game and they too are often scared of rejection by a girl so they make no move for any. So the girl who makes the first move for a guy is the one who gets to date him and be his gf.
All you can do is each time you see him or think of him with her, tell yourself, in your head and out loud when in private, You are hurting now because you didn't take the chance of being rejected, as scary as that might be. Which is better, hurting cus you never got a chance cus you didn't approach him or hurting cus you did ask and he said no. Both hurt equally. But one of these times, a guy who catches your eye is going to say yes and you will successfully begin dating a guy you like a lot. It will take time to get over him. Keep your mind occupied with other things so your're too busy to think about him. ANd thats about all you can do now until someone else catches your eye.

Hey I'm 18 years old and in 3 months I'll be going to Spain with a few hundred people I know to celebrate exams ending. It's a beach and pool holiday where everyone spends time shirtless. I'm about 5'11,74kg and about 17% body fat. Shirtless I feel very uncomfortable and even sitting down with a t shirt on I suck in my stomach. I'm up every night thinking of how I'll avoid going to the pool or beach and how I'll get an excuse to keep my top on. There'll be girls everywhere so it concerns me to reveal to them that there's quite a belly down there. When fully relaxed I look pregnant. I changed my diet a few months ago and eat eggs every morning,less white carbs,more fruit and veg but haven't seen any results. I don't have a particular question but was wondering if anyone can give me advice on what to do? Considering I have a lot of study to do,is it too late to trim the fat in 80 days? Thanks in advance

Your mind right now is your worst enemy.
Solidadvice was right. Half the people there will be worried about how they look to others while the other half don't give a crap. You are imagining the worst, that people, girls in particular will find you unattractive or hideous at worst case. You are showing a classic case of anxiety over your looks. What you think, your thoughts, are controlling your behavior like keeping shirt on and planning on not being by the pool.
I've recently read a book called "When anxiety attacks" by Dr. David D. Burns. He's a psychologist who used to use medicine only to help people until colleages told him about a new way to help people...CBT, Cognitive Behavioral therapy. He found that more were quite quickly cured without meds by using that method. In his book was a story of a man in his 30s if I remember correctly who came to see him. The man was very shy around women. His greatest fear was repulsing women when he sweats. He felt that he sweated excessively. The Dr. had to discover what started this phobia and then out of several exercise for the patient to do, find the one that worked best to cure him by basically proving his fears wrong. I found the story quite cute and will share it as I am making a point that you need to do the same and if you cant, you'll need to see a psychologist to help you with it.

Dr Burns took the man for a walk on an extremely hot day and when they came to a small grocery, Dr Burns took his bottle of water and emptied it all over himself, asked his patient to accompany him inside to buy a bottle of water and watch what he did. Dr. exclaimed loudly in front of customers and cashier, "Whew, what a hot day. I am so sweaty." remember that he looks drenched in sweat due to all that water. Not a single person looked at him or paid him mind and he paid for the water and left with patient. He then explained that most people really don't care and all the worries we ever have are blown out of proportion in our heads.
They walked on to another place and he told the patient it was his turn to do the same thing, pour water all over himself and go inside the next place to buy water and say the same thing. Only by putting himself in the situation he feared could he prove himself wrong. He panicked, and didn't want to do it. It wasn't until some time later a female looked at him, he was a model type man in looks, really handsome. SHe started the conversation by saying something about how hot he must be and didn't seem perturbed by his sweat and they actually had a great conversation and ended up getting together.

I would think doing something like that right now several times before going to Spain may help to cure you. If not, you will need to see a specialist who knows CBT to help you.

You would only need one afternoon at a park on a fairly hot day. Casually work your way over to stand or sit next to a female of any age and say, "It sure is hot today isn't it." People tend to start convos using weather often. Wait a bit, wipe your brow with your hand, then turn and say, "I'm getting a bit too hot, would it disturb you if I removed my shirt?" Most people would say no or look at you weird as if you neednt ask their permission in the first place.

Or you could just skip that comment and remove the shirt after saying you're getting a bit too hot.
Watch to see what their reactions are. Do they laugh at you, even bother to really look at your chest, as they so disgusted that they move away?

Move on to another part of the park and do it all over again and keep repeating it perhaps 5 times, until you have seen that the majority do not care what your chest looks like, do not actually really focus on it and no one says anything derogatory about it.

If thats not good enough and you want peoples opinions, get them. But instead of asking that first off, ease into the question you want by first making pleasant convo with a gal and putting her at ease with you first. Comment on something going on around you. If watching a tennis match, "Who do you think will win?" Make a compliment that you mean. If you like the shade of her lipstick, or the color green looks good on her, or she's wearing your favorite color, or you truly like something. Give her a chance to chit chat back and forth with you a bit before you end up at the point where you take your shirt off.
You could even take the path of apologizing and confessing your fear like so. "I don't like taking my shirt off usually but its so hot I just have to." Take it off and then say, "You see, I have this fear that I look too skinny, too sickly, too unattractive without my shirt on." This statement most likely will provoke a response in a person to let you know they don't think there is a problem with your chest at all. Only a shy, introvert may say nothing. But you could wait and if no comments come forth. "Sorry, I hate to bother you, but I wonder if you agree with my thoughts of how I look." Or state it in your own words. You might start first with talking to a couple of women who seem to be a generation or so older than you until you feel no one is going to react like this is strange and then try it with gals closer to your age or who seem in their 20s or so, old enough to realize its not a pick up, just honest request for their opinion. If you are afraid of doing this alone and have a female sister or cousin you can confide in on this test you want to do, she could accompany you and play along so the other female doesnt feel you are hitting on her. When you ask your question your female sis/cousin could say, I already told you, its okay but you didn't believe me. So what do you think, does my brother/cousin look really weird with his shirt off? Theres all sorts of ways to do this. In the end, you should no longer have a fear of people seeing you with your shirt off.
The way you look now is not how you're going to look in 10 years from now or even 5-7.
GOod luck.

I recently started talking to someone who is charming, intelligent, motivated and relatively good looking. He is about 2 and a half years younger than me, but judging from the last times we spoke, he seems more mature than most men his age. At the moment, he has a very impressive job, while currently still in college, at not even 23 years old, he is the head of finance at his friend’s brewery startup.

During one of our previous conversations, he told me things that I really needed to hear and I doubt that he knew how badly I needed to hear those things. He told me that he thinks that I am smarter than the people who I am working with on a project for my finance class, and that he notices that I am a very hard worker.

My best friend, a married 31 year-old male, believes that he likes me. The new interesting man has sent some flirtatious gestures my way, like he smiled at me when I said hello to him, and winked at me when I stood on the line to talk to one of my thesis advisors. Realistically, a man like him… I am thinking to myself, either has a girlfriend or does not want one.

At the same time, I have a long-term boyfriend of five years but I think that I am more secure with him than anything else. I feel semi neglected by him, he NEVER class me, he DOES NOT pay proper attention to me.

By that I mean, since we live in different states, and we are both students, we do not always get to see each other. So, he will sit on the computer and play video games, instead of touching me... which aggravates the shit out of me.

The last time I was down there he touched me maybe like two days out of the entire week I was down there, after not seeing me for two months previously. I feel like he definitely loves me, and does not want me to go anywhere, but I am starting to feel really taken for granted. Also, I see someone who does not care about his future as much as I care about mine.

With as long as we have been together, unless I am 100 percent sure about wanting to marry him, I am starting to feel like we should break up. However, I do not want to make a mistake, I want to see him again before I do anything, and breaking up with someone over the phone is tacky.
What should I do about this situation? Should I go with my gut, which is visit my boyfriend, make sure that I am 100 percent certain that I no longer feel passion for him, and then get to know the other guy as a friend?

I think that I like this other guy as a person, so even if we are both interested in each other I do not want to make a mistake move too fast and lose out on his friendship at the very least. The thing that really sucks is that my boyfriend and I are both graduating college next month, and I really do not want to screw up his last semester, but at the same time… is there ever a good time to break up with someone?

I will start with this question of yours: Should I go with my gut, which is visit my boyfriend, make sure that I am 100 percent certain that I no longer feel passion for him"

I can't explain for what reasons females tend to develop such strong feelings for men, often ones who don't deserve it but if you have the feelings, it won't disappear by next time you visit because it hasn't yet with all this time apart. And you must realize that even if you still felt something for him, a healthy relationship needs equal input from both sides. So if he's not showing the same level of love towards you that you have for him, what you have dear...is a one sided relationship. I had that with my first husband of 30 yrs whom I married when I turned 20. So it doesnt matter how strong your feelings or how loyal a person you are (my trait) or how you hate to fail at something, or if you're willing to put in all the effort and basically carry the whole relationship, in the end you will be stressed, not getting your needs met, not feeling loved in return and most likely resentment will grow inside you to the point that eventually you leave him in the future.

You've dated 5 yrs and this is all you have??? Hon, let me explain the purpose of dating and then you tell me if this out of state bf is the one to marry.
Dating is what two people who are visually attracted to each other do to gain more information about each other, a period of discovery about each other. This is when you look for the things you want in a mate and the things you want to avoid in a mate. It doesnt take 5 yrs to figure this out. It can take a few dates, a few months, maybe a full year at the most if people dont see each other often but thats it.

Is there a good time to break up? No. It will always be a negative to the one broken up with, from disappointment to really hurting. If his love wasn't all that deep for you, he'll get over it pretty easy, but if deeply in love (which I doubt as his actions don't prove it) his heart will hurt for quite some time before he is ready to move on.

The reason you are reacting as you do to the friendship of the 22 year old is because he is giving you something you've never gotten from the other guy. Make notes of this. I can't say that just because he's got his act together, has wisdom and is caring enough about other people to give insightful advice and willing to help that it all means he'll make the perfect next bf for you. All i am saying is that you are seeing something in him that you have discovered you like. PUt that on your list, be able to describe it to yourself well enough so that in the future as you come across men you meet and some you go on dates with, that you begin to see lots of the list of things most important to you, in him and realize, that this is one to pursue if he has feelings for you too.
So in the end, I think you have enough info on out of state bf to know whether he's a keeper for life or not. Your intuition is not 100% sure you want to marry someone who isn't all that thrilled to see you. When in love, you don't like being apart and can't wait to be together. Deep down you know that but your mind is making excuses for the bf because perhaps you really want a man in your life. So you think that you can fool yourself into being able to be content with the same old same old. Maybe it worked for 5 yrs. So picture this, you and he married, with kids now and its 10, 20 or 30 yrs with him and his treating you no different than he does now. Is that enough for you. Can you picture yourself happy and content with no touching, no romance, no passion or love for the rest of your life? I dont think so. Thats what I asked myself when considering divorcing 1st husband. I had fooled myself into accepting his treatment on a day by day basis. I could even handle month by month and year by year, but when I pictured 10 or more years of the same, I broke down crying and realized I had to leave.
Don't think that his schooling is the excuse why he doesnt show attention. A marriage will also have distractions, jobs, home fixit projects, elderly parents to help out, etc all things that can take time away from each other, but if there is true love there, it will not suffer, no matter how busy you each get and your will find your safe harbour in each others arms, loved and protected.

It was our last day of school today so I thought it would be a great idea to tell my old crush that I liked him so I approached him and said "Hey I liked you." but what I didn't expect was his reply, "Same". wtf After that when we bumped into each other he seemed like he was abashed or some sht and after like a few minutes, when we were told to go home i was going in a different direction than he was but he tried to go in the same direction as I'm going like tf hahah but like what confuses me is that he didn't really show that he liked me but I kinda noticed something but he did some things that contradict with the romantic gestures and stuff. Damn this was harder to explain than I though. XD

I agree totally with Rahzie. So just in case you don't have a way to connect with him and have a convo...consider her comments important enough to realize you need a bit more guidance and learning of how to interact with a person you like and how to broach the subject in the first place with another person. If a guy from school walked up to you and blurted out, "I have loved you throughout our years together at school." And says nothing else but walks off, would'nt that also be confusing. Even two people dating who know each other. When feelings change from a casual liking of each other to one or both falling in love with the other, how do you tell them without scaring them off if they aren't there yet for example.

The best way I have heard in researching the internet is to tell the person, I am developing feelings for you, as if it were in process or just starting as this phrasing doesnt lay as much pressure on the other to feel the same at that moment so they are more likely to be relaxed at your revelation than scared to run away. Of course this is for someone you already are dating.

For someone who is a crush but you've never spoken, you won't know if they are even the same person you imagine and dream about until you get to spend some time one on one together. So you need to learn how to approach a guy, what are the best opening lines to use to s tart a conversation and if you both seem to enjoy the conversation, let him know you did and would like to talk again and ask for his phone number. I recommend having most conversation first face to face to hear tone of voice, see facial expressions and body language, or on phone call to get at least tone of voice. You miss all that and cant have a continuous flowing conversation easily in text which would be last choice. Then don't state it would be nice to go biking or hiking or whatever together, ask if he wants to and then ask him to grab his calendar and lets put down a date. It can be as simple as having him over for an afternoon of listening to your favorite cd's and another time you go to listen to his. Start searching through the internet for dating help. Its so easy, just think of the short phrase that encapsulates what you want to find, like "How to start a convo with a crush" and you will get many hits coming up. I did that phrase and saw plenty. Use the internet more for help like this. If its too hard to see on your iphone, then get a library card and use the library computer to research this stuff. No excuse for fumbling up next time...you simply need to start learning how to interact when its with someone you like.

I decided to make the whole world know about my case so that I can get help because I stand a chance doing so . No matter how rare my case may be I believe sharing my experiences and observation with detailed explanation with the wright person could help . My current location limit my access and funds is also a factor but if I can get an online Dr then I would be glad. I'm 35 and I don't want to be a waste . Please reason with me . I'm Ayo from Nigeria

There are on line Drs in the US but I do not know if there are any in your country. If you know how to set up a you tube video which people post from all over the world, you might try one describing your symptoms, how Drs did a blood test and saw nothing and ask people to pass on your video to friends so that hopefully one day, someone with the same symptoms who has the same condition sees it and you ask anyone who may have knowledge of a name of a condition or disease to contact you. Good luck Ayo!

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