|
a crush who started dating someone
I'm 17,F. I've had a crush on this guy for a couple years, and recently I've been trying to get up the courage to tell my friends and then try to talk to him/tell him I like him. However, just this morning I found out that over March break he went on a date with another girl.
My friend who told me was all excited, because she thinks they will make a great couple, and I see her point, but this news left me totally shaken. I felt betrayed, even though no one knew they were doing anything to me, because no one knows how i feel about him.
How do I get over my feelings for him? I've had a crush on this guy for 3 years, and for the past 2 months I've been crushing especially hard...Also, the girl he's with now is sort of one of my friends, and I don't want to hold a grudge of any kind against her, but it's really hard...every time I saw either one of them in the hallway today, I nearly started crying. I couldn't concentrate on anything.
How do I move on? I think I have sort of had like a fantasy in my head for a while where I started dating this guy, but now that fantasy world has been destroyed! For the past few months, I have thought about this guy every day, so how do I stop now that he is no longer available? Because I don't want to go on wanting him when I can't....
I'm just so confused and upset...I don't know what to do...please help!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
A crush is just a fantasy worked up in ones mind, not a reality. If brave enough to start a convo with and actually befriend a guy and see if theres a mutual liking, then it becomes reality. Dating then is the process to learn more about each other to see if you like other things too and the feelings grow or you discover that it was more the excitement of someone new in your life which wears off after a while or that there are some bad things concerning how he treats you and you break up and move on to find someone better, always leaerning from each relationship to find someone better than the last. You haven't even started with the first. I know its scary but a single guy is open game and they too are often scared of rejection by a girl so they make no move for any. So the girl who makes the first move for a guy is the one who gets to date him and be his gf.
All you can do is each time you see him or think of him with her, tell yourself, in your head and out loud when in private, You are hurting now because you didn't take the chance of being rejected, as scary as that might be. Which is better, hurting cus you never got a chance cus you didn't approach him or hurting cus you did ask and he said no. Both hurt equally. But one of these times, a guy who catches your eye is going to say yes and you will successfully begin dating a guy you like a lot. It will take time to get over him. Keep your mind occupied with other things so your're too busy to think about him. ANd thats about all you can do now until someone else catches your eye.
]
Since this girl is now your sort of friend, there is no way for you to hold a grudge. since over the last 3 years you didn't make a move on him or initiate conversation he was fair game. I am sorry to hear that he is dating someone now.
On moving on, It is almost like obsessing over him. (Not that you are, but I was in a similar case). When ever you start thinking of him, stop your self and think of some one else, or someone else. Every-time. Start thinking about him oh, no i can't.. hmm hockey. Or another way is to focus on what you are working on at that time. Either it be school work or be watching tv.
Hope this helps :)
<3 Jasmine
]
I know it sucks right now, but you are actually in a really healthy place, even though this is disappointing.
It's really good and healthy for you to recognize that a large part of what you are mourning is the fantasy. Hell, it's even normal to feel a bit sadness when a celebrity you have a crush get married or thing that! It may seem silly, but it's not wrong or evil.
You won't get over your feelings over night, but one of the best ways to get past them is to not dwell on them. Avoid too much contact with your crush, and avoid conversations about your crush. Don't feel like you have to gossip about him all the time to prove you are okay. Just change the subject. No Facebook stalking.
If there was ever anything you'd like to learn in your life, like how to bake a cake or how to knit, now is the time. Busy hands and a busy mind will help.
Letting someone go takes skill and practice. It's not something we're born knowing how to do, but you're in good place to learn. So don't be too hard on yourself.
]
More Questions: |