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Is It Bad to Be a Tomboy?
I don't really think of myself as a tomboy per se. I like getting dressed up in nice dresses with my hair done. I like girly clothes, chick flicks, and I absolutely love getting pedicures and massages.
But there are some things about me that are quite tomboyish. While I may like wearing dresses and other girly clothes, I mostly wear jeans and t-shirts. I don't like capri pants or shorts (especially short shorts) because I'm embarrassed of my legs. They're disproportionately skinny and badly scared from surgery and cutting myself shaving a LOT. I wear blingy jeans, but they're kind of baggy because tight jeans would show how skinny my legs are. I mainly wear t-shirts and sweatshirts because I find them more comfortable. Cute, girly tops are cute, but they frequently don't have sleeves or their collars come down further than other shirts. That feels strange to me. I'm very cold natured and get cold in those clothes easily. When I wear dresses, I have to wear flats or wedges because heels hurt my feet and I'm extremely clumsy in them. I do like flip flops and Uggs, but often wear basketball shoes as well. I have mixed feelings about makeup. I like looking nice when I wear it, but I have a problem with dry eyes and hate that I can't rub my eyes when I wear makeup.
Aside from the way I dress, there are other things. When I was little, I liked Barbies and stuffed animals, but I also liked toy trucks, hot wheels, k'nex, legos, and video games. When my family would go though the drive thru at McDonald's and my parents would order me a happy meal, the person taking the order would ask if we needed a boy toy or a girl toy as the prize and they'd always order a boy toy because they knew that's what I'd prefer. I got a BB gun when I was ten and loved it. I got a pellet gun, a 22, and a .410 shotgun all within a year of the BB gun and loved them all. I could spend hours target shooting and not get bored.
Finally, my career choice is rather tomboyish. I'm currently training to be a storm chaser (probably more of a storm spotter actually). I've always wanted a career that would allow me to help people and storm chaser (or spotter) seems to be the best fit. I've always been deeply fascinated by the weather, particularly tornadoes, and when I'm that interested in something, I want to learn as much about it as possible. I feel like I could be a very well educated and well trained storm chaser or spotter and could do a good job of tracking severe weather conditions, warning people of them, and studying them to find ways of creating more advanced severe weather alert systems. I'd be a dream come true, but it's kind of a tomboyish career.
Thing is, I've never really minded being a tomboy. I've always just been me, and no one else has really ever had a problem with it either. My parents, the rest of my family, and my friends have all always accepted it. But there's just one tiny problem that comes with being one. Not to be offensive, but it's no secret that when a person of one gender displays characteristics of the other gender, their sexual orientation becomes a matter of dispute. I don't have anything against lesbians, but when you're not one and are in fact a single woman searching for a husband, it can be problem. A problem that i don't know how to fix. It's not like i can go around saying, "I'm not a lesbian." but i also can't get a husband if every guy thinks I'm not into guys. The simple solution seems to be to simply be girlier, but i keep hearing, "just be yourself. Don't pretend to be something you're not for a guy." Am i worrying too much?
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I would not classify you as a typical Tomboy. Today a woman who wants to do what 30 years ago was seen as a man's job is today taken as nothing more than a job she has chosen to do. My son is a firefighter/paramedic a typical career choice for a male. My Daughter is a Police Officer.
My Daughter is very much a girl and out of uniform she is a girlie girl. Though when she puts on her uniform and gun belt watch out she is no 97 pound weakling and she does not allows anyone to give her any c*ap.
The three of you have the same problem when it comes to finding a spouse. Your careers get in the way and may send the wrong message about you. I will tell you what I have said to them. You need a custom fit in an off the rack world. Fortunately there is a viable solution.
For them it EHarmony and Match.com. You may not get a custom fit right out of the gate but there is someone on one of these type sights just waiting to meet. Sorry if I sound like the commercial but it's true.
My future daughter in-law said at first she wasn't going to answer my son as she wasn't sure she wanted to date or marry a firefighter for she was afraid of his occupation. They started emailing and she finally gave into a date. She told me that one date told her he was the one. As for my daughter she is still dating a guy she feels is the one and thinks he will propose on her birthday. He has planned a very special vacation for them around her birthday.
They both have had false starts but as it appears they have found their live mates. As I tell some others that write to us. beauty is only skin deep. It is the person behind the beauty that a person needs to get to know and fall in love with. Some people are blessed with great beauty, some people are not. some people such as the three of you have their beauty hidden behind a fog of some type such as an occupation.
This is where these dating sites come in as through your profile it allows people to see you as a person and not just the skin deep beauty or lack thereof or the occupation blinding that beauty.
My recommendation is to try a dating site and don't say your a Tomboy for you are not. Just say what your likes are including the ones you feel make you a Tomboy.
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Hey!
You remind me so much of myself! I like dressing up and all, but I don't do it as much/every day. I mostly wear T-shirts, and sweats, since I'm constantly going in and out of the pool so I find it really easy to wear stuff like that and I have man shoulders so cute shirts don't really fit my shoulders :( I too, am a little cautious about wearing shorts, skirts, and sometimes dresses because I have super muscular legs from swimming. You don't have to change yourself for guys, or for anyone really. I would never change who I am for guys. Whenever I walk down the halls all the guys are talking about how muscular I am from swimming and working out and it does make me feel uncomfortable, and degraded because they're always saying "who would date her?" There had been times where I wanted to actually stop swimming just to please people than I thought to myself why would I stop doing something I really love just to please people that don't even care about me?! Sooner or later you're going to find someone that will appreciate you for you.
I hope this helps!
-Swimmer133
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Lets start with your statement at the end, " i also can't get a husband if every guy thinks I'm not into guys.
How do you know that Every guy is thinking this? Every is quite an exaggeration unless you have proof from either you having the gift of mind reading and can hear all mens thoughts, or every single guy you've ever interacted with on some level has asked you if you are a lesbian.
If one has asked, its just one person misreading it, not every single male. I am not picking on you dear. Most humans do this kind of thing with their thinking and reasoning. Me too although I know what I am looking for and catch myself and stop myself when my thoughts get a bit distorted like that.
Now as for all the things you mentioned, what you wear to toy preferances as a kid, etc. It almost describes me perfectly. I wear pants more than dresses but enjoy dressing up. I hate heels and won't when them cus I'd twist my ankle or be in extreme pain from trying to walk in them for 5-10 mins. You do not have to be dressed in sexy tight fighting clothes, dresses or heels for a guy to notice you. I am in my fifties and males of all ages still notice me, and some even smile and wink. The big difference isnt how I have my hair that day, my makeup or lack of it, or what I am wearing. I could wear that before and not be noticed. But I gained self confidence, the kind that is realistic and doesnt compare myself to the model type or perfection that media pushes. Many men fall for women of differing types simply because that is their personal preferance. Tell me, are you physically attracted to every single guy you see every day? Of course not and thats because you have a personal preference too. I don't see a storm chaser as a male career.
YEs, lots of guys veer toward things others may see as an adrenaline rush but that isn't your reason for doing it. You need to stop caring about what other people think. I wish I could when I was your age but I didnt learn until mid way through my thirties to not care what others were thinking. The process of doing what I wanted, doing what I feared was going to bring negative thoughts and treatments, is what I actually did on purpose, alot to get past the fears and it didn't take long when facing fears. So be yourself hon. When you are ready to marry, forget this looking for a needle in a haystack, and try Match.com the best dating site for finding the kind of man who wants to marry. Those just looking for social dating or a sex partner will gravitate toward the free sites. This one if you answer all personal questions truthfully, will give you a list of men who would appreciate you just as you are and enjoy you being able to be so versatile, a sexy beautiful wife as well as being able to fit in with the guys.
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