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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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I am a 16 year old girl, I recently had sex with a guy almost 2 weeks ago.. I have a friend who has genital herpes and I told her about it and she told me that she had sex with him a month before.. she's one of my best friends but she's also one of those people who has sex with people and doesn't let them know about what she has. She told me they used a condom and that she wasn't having a breakout at the time, so the question is there still a chance a guy can catch herpes that way? And if so is it high risk? I'm really worried because I didn't use a condom with him and I had no idea about them having sex until she told me when I told her.
From eHow a Website that has answers to many questions. The URL for this answer is at the end.
When Can Genital Herpes Be Spread?
Sadly, yes, it is possible to spread genital herpes without an outbreak. In fact, the majority of people who become infected with herpes are infected during an encounter with another person who shows no signs or symptoms of an outbreak. While it is true that a person who is infected with herpes is much more infectious during an outbreak, he can be contagious without any visible symptoms. And, in some cases, a person may be infected without ever knowing it.
How Can I Avoid Contracting Genital Herpes?
The only completely safe way to avoid contracting herpes is through abstinence and through the avoidance of skin-to-skin contact with other people who may be infected. Since such measures are impractical for the vast majority of people, and since one cannot be entirely sure whether another person is infected with the herpes virus, safe-sex practices and common sense are the best means of staying herpes-free. Condoms should always be used during sexual contact of any kind, including oral sex. It's also important to avoid skin-to-skin contact of genital areas with those who might be infected.
What Can I Do to Limit my Chances of Spreading Herpes?
For those who already have herpes there are many things that can mitigate the chances of spreading the infection. Always use condoms during sex. It's important to treat yourself with anti-viral drugs such as valaciclovir at the very onset of an outbreak and to avoid contact with others at all times during an outbreak. Even though you can spread genital herpes regardless of whether there's an outbreak occurring, during outbreaks the likelihood increases dramatically. So, during outbreaks try to remain abstinent and to be especially careful.
Read more : http://www.ehow.com/how-does_4578179_can-spread-herpes-outbreak.html
I have this gorgeous friend, who I found absolutely stunning. She's super tall like 5'11-6'0, blonde, exotic and beautiful.
My issue is struggling to be friends with her without feeling slightly resentful because I usually feel like crap when I'm around her. A lot of it has to do with the way people treat, just for the mere fact of her being good-looking. While I'm below average, and maybe average at best with make up on. And I got treated completely the opposite way on the mere fact on how I look.
People are instantly nice to her, and receptive to her. Like people will talk to her, and completely ignore me like I don't exist. Or hold the door for her, and walk through right after without bothering to hold it for me when I'm right behind it. Most of the time it's guys, but it's also girls as well.
She never really has to work for anything. Like when we do online assignments in school, she never really does any of the work, and waits till either I tell her to do it or until I give her the answers. Even in our group projects/assignments we had, I've done most of the work. While she usually does nothing. And I know if I did the same, people would throw a fit of not doing any group work. But when she does, people usually just let it go and think nothing of it.
I have deleted my answer as I need to rethink what I said. I will get back to you. Please advise are both pictures of you or your girlfriend?
There's a new student at out school who speaks only Spanish. I really want to befriend him because I was new a few months ago too, so I know how alone he probably feels. I don't know any Spanish except the basics (numbers, colors, those sort of things) so how do I learn enough to keep up a conversation with him? I'm afraid that I'll ask a question in Spanish and I'll have no idea what his reply means. How do I learn spanish quickly or befriend this boy in a different way? We're 14 years old if that makes any difference
I'm not so sure it is a question of how fast you can learn Spanish as much as it is how fast he can learn English. He has the double problem of being a new kid in school where he does not speak the language. With the help of an English to Spanish dictionary you can communicate to him and help him learn English.
For him learning English is just as important or maybe more important than you leaning Spanish. He has a whole new world to exist in; a world where he does not speak the language. This has got to be at the very least unsettling for him and his family.
It is my belief that you could be a much better friend by helping him to learn our language so he can communicate better and learn what is being taught in school.
19/m
Hey guys! I just started college 3 weeks ago! I am excited to be here and to learn but I also want to become more social with girls. I am a very shy guy, I have a hard time making new friends even with other guys. I never know what to talk about with people and never know how to get a small conversation going with people unless it is by accident. All of my old friends from high school I made were kind of on accident believe it or not. To me it seems like pure luck I met people I got along with and connected with.
I dated some girls in high school but i kind of met them by luck and didn't really go out of my way to introduce myself to them and make small talk to get their phone numbers or anything special. It kind of happened by luck if that makes sense?
Anyways, I was hoping to get some advice from people on how I can approach some girls that are in classes of mine, girls that I haven't had classes with that I just kind of see that I think are cute that I would like to talk to. I met this one guy here at my school that picks up girls daily like no one's business... it makes me jealous of how easy he can get girls and I would love to just meet girls even as friends.
Any advice would be helpful! Hopefully this little rant made sense haha. Thanks!!!
One way is to join or form a study group. Having common interest is the easiest way to start a conversation. In a study group the common interest is whatever the class is and through discussion people get to know one another. This provides a limited way of meeting people. IF you would like to expand on this process try what I've written below. As you will see this is advice I have given before. People have written back that it has worked well for them.
This is a question I see quite often so you are not alone with this problem. As we get older are inhibitions get in the way and we find making friends harder to do. One of the best ways around this that I have found and offered to many others is to find places and activities where you and others have a common interest. When there is a common interest conversation becomes more natural and easier.
It is much easier to walk up to a group of people who may be discussing say travel and maybe they are planning to put together a trip to Rome. Well maybe you have been to Rome. Whether you would be going on the trip with them or not having been to Rome you would have knowledge that would be very useful to them and they would welcome you into their group. From this friendships start. Now this was just an example.
What I would like you to try is this. Sit down with pen and paper and make a list of all the things you like to do both in school and out; both on campus and off. Trust me I have made this recommendation to others and they write back it works.
Include everything you like to do. Include church activities if it applies, camping, fishing, reading, hiking, cooking, photography, nature walks, sports playing and anything else you can think of. Then number them 1 to whatever.
Now take the top five and look to see if there are not any groups or activities going on specific to these activities and go to their meetings. I'm positive you will find one or more that will welcome you with open arms. You would be surprised to find that both boys and girls like to take part in many of the activities you do. You start by listening to conversations and adding your own interest or knowledge to the conversation.
Before you know it you having coffee with someone after the meeting and then you are dating. One other thing many college professors and teachers support having study groups for their classes. These groups are a good learning tool and another way of making friends. You can either join a group or start one of your own
I am female and in college, first year. Not from the US. I suffer from a low level hypothyroidism for which I am taking my medications - reason why the condition has not escalated or gotten worse. I do however, have costhocondritis now. I have inflammations on various parts of my chest area. Sometimes the pain can de quite painful, sometimes it just goes away and doesn't do much. Mostly its stress that triggers it but recently I have been doing much more exercise tan what I am used to and the pain started coming back again today. I am unsure as whether it is healthier to stay in the sport I am, or leave it - the physical exercises we do are pretty serious (pushups, running laps around a huge building, running up and down stairs, and a bunch of other "fun" stuff). I like it, because I relieve some of my stress there, but... I just don't know if I should keep going. Also, I'm starting to suspect that I may have sleep apnea because no matter how much sleep I get, I'm always sleepy during the day.
None of us are doctors so we cannot offer medical advice. That being said I can tell you that as a first responder I know just enough to say that in general terms the hypothyroidism and your costhocondritis are not directly related. If they are becoming related at all it is because of the heavy exercises you are doing. Now you are adding in the possibility of sleep apnea and this should put a different light on everything. You need to be tested for sleep apnea and if the exercise or your other conditions you have are the cause then appropriate treatment can be rendered.
Before you give up the exercising you’re doing you should check in with a doctor. In general exercise is good for reducing tension and stress. When we can reduce the tensions and stress in our lives other chronic conditions generally do better as well.
Something as simple as a change in medication maybe all you need to allow you to continue to enjoy your exercise program. Only a doctor can make that call. Check in with student health and see a doctor.
I'm 18 and I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and four months now. I guess me and him were just raised differently.I was raised getting most everything I want. Both of my parents are always working hard and they both love me very much. I was raised that drugs were bad and drinking alcohol wasn't that great either. I'm in college now and on the way to success however my boyfriend was raised completely different. My boyfriend was raised in a way that his mother allows him to do marijuana and drinks with him. I guess I have a great boyfriend but do I let him doing this even though it goes against my morals or do I just try to just deal with this?
I'm wondering what your interest in this boy is whose morals are so much different than your own. Is it the excitement of being with a "Bad Boy" or walking on the bad side and not being seen as just the "Good Girl?"
None of us have a crystal ball to predict the future with. What I can tell you is this; as you write, "I'm in college now and on the way to success." This is the track that is going to give you all that you have and have had living with your parents and hopefully better or more. This is what we as parent want for our children.
I do not see him, strictly as you have written about him, as a great boyfriend. You will not change him unless he wants to change so this means you will have to put up with him. In putting up with him you run a very good chance of being dragged down to his level, his morals as this is how he was raised and what he expects from life.
I don't know you but your writing tells me you are worth more than a pot smoking alcoholic for a boyfriend or a life mate. Your 18 you have time to, as my mother would have told you, to bait your hook and go fishing for the right man. There are plenty of fish in the sea and there is a better fish out there for you; one that shares your morals and goals in life.
My suggestion is to get out your fishing pole find a nice stream and keep fishing until you find the right person.
I've recently started dating a guy. We expressed mutual desire to wait a while for sex as we both valued emotional connection versus just physical, but things happened and well, in a heated moment of passion, we has sex. Unprotected. Damn. I asked before he put himself in me if he had a condom, he didn't so we slowed things down a bit, but apparently not slow enough cause we ended up having sex anyway. Stupid move, I know. But being on birth control for the last 10+ years I wasn't worried at the time about pregnancy. Until after of course when you inevitably get that constant panic until your period shows up...
We talked about it afterwards and I expressed that since I felt emotionally ready, it wasn't a big deal for me that we didn't wait to have sex, and that it was a step further in our relationship and wanted to make sure he was on the same page, but that condoms were a must in the future. He seemed to be but he still wanted to wait a while for the next time. Fair enough.
A week later, we did diner at my place and things got heated again, and realizing that I didn't hit up the pharmacy that week for condoms because I assumed that 'a while' meant more than a week, I decided not to let things end up in the bedroom. He asked what was the matter and I told him we couldn't have sex because I didn't have condoms at my place. Turns out he doesn't believe in wearing condoms, only in the pull-out method (which is not actually a protection method BTW!), and doesn't want to use them because it ruins the moment. I explained that condoms are supposed to be part of the act and that there are sexy ways to include it, just like grabbing for lube or a toy, and they don't have to be this evil thing he made them out to be. He responded in a "well i've always done it that way and since we both dont want kids right now, whats the problem? besides you're on the pill anyway". I explained that the condom was used for protection against a lot more than pregnancy for me, and it keeps my sanity after sex from my mind going wild and thinking up all sorts of "im pregnant" scenarios, and that it also just happens to protect against STD's. He basically told me that the pullout method was more effective and that I was being very manipulative "going back on my word" after the first time. I apologized for the miscommunication, but that I was not ready to change my beliefs (and health risk!), and that if he didn't understand than we would just not have sex, ever, and that is a very important aspect to a relationship for me. He proceeded to try an convince me that "since I was going to be worried about pregnancy for no reason until my period anyway, that we could do it one more time his way (pullout) and then afterwards we could continue with using condoms. I told him that I was not going to be bargaining with him about something that I care very strongly about, and he responded with a speech about how apparently I didn't actually care about him if I was willing to throw away what we had built just because he wouldn't wear a condom, and that it was just because I like to be in control of everything. I told him that it was a very difficult decision, but I had to go with my gut and trust that if he truly cared about me he would understand. I didn't ask him to change his beliefs, but to understand where I am coming from. He left after saying "you're making a huge mistake" so I'm pretty sure this means we are broken up.
Did I make the right call? I'm beating myself up for it, but I tried to be as subjective as I could.
female, 26
You made the right call. Condoms are a must in any sexual relationship until you have both been tested for STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Once you both have been tested and are in a monogamous committed relationship then, if you want, you can do away with the condoms.
The pill is the best form of protection against pregnancy being anywhere from 95% to 99% effective. The pill is 0% effective in protecting against any or all STDA and HIV/AIDS. The condom is very effective in protecting against most STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. A condom and the pill are almost 100% effective in preventing pregnancy.
There are three reasons I can think of why your by friend would not want to wear a condom.
1. He is ignorant of the reasons why he needs to. In today’s day and age I find that hard to believe he would be that ignorant.
2. He does not like the loss of sensitivity some men have with condoms. If this is his problems he should say so as there are products on the market to increase his sensitivity.
3. He is allergic to latex, as some men are. If this is his problem with condom there is a solution by using Lambskin which would also cause the problem as in #2 as they are thicker than latex. They are also more expensive.
If his problem is none of the above then he is a very insensitive lover. Not caring about anything but his own enjoyment.
Long story short and the answer to your question: You definitely made the right call.
I do have one suggestion. Since you did have unprotected sex and his is so pigheaded about not using condoms I would suggest you have yourself tested for STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Nothing says you have been infected. This is a suggestion based on being overly cautious.
I have had an issue with weight my whole life. In high school I was always large, a size 12-14. I went down to about a 10-12 when I was in wrestling and participating in extremely high intensity exercises for 2.5-4 hours a day, 5 times a week and keeping a nearly anorexcic diet in order to make weight. I work full time now and have other responsibilities so I can't do that now. I eat a normal healthy way - I watch my carbs/fat/sugar intake, I don't eat huge portions and rarely eat beyond being full - and always have. The thing is, I consistently gain weight. I can maintain my weight by working out (I only have time for about 1/2 hour every other day) and eating less food and very small portions,, but I always feel STARVED and I don't lose, I just gain. I'm 22 now and am "morbidly obese" according to my BMI wearing a size 22-24.
I have tried structured very low calorie diets, weight loss products, exercise regimens, I track my calories on my fitness pal...I've even gone to weight loss support groups, but it doesn't help because I'm not a food addict, I have good habits. Aside from my weight I'm in great health, but the weight is taking it's toll on my body. my doctor says I'm healthy I just need to eat less and work out more, but she has never done anything other than a basic physical with me. I'm at a loss and I'm not sure where to turn. Does anyone have a similar situation? And if so what did you do, what helped? Any diets, programs, etc?
I'm so frustrated, any advice will help!!
I'm not a doctor none of us are. What I'm about to suggest is only a guess based on my sisters weight problem.
Until my sister had a problem with her Thyroid she did not have a weight problem. Then it was discovered she had an over active Thyroid and they gave her a pill to burn it out and she now takes a synthetic predication to take the place of her thyroid.
Have you ever discussed your weight problem with your doctor? Have you ever talked to your doctor about an over hyper-active or hypo-active thyroid. If you have not I would suggest you schedule an appointment with an Internist Doctor to do so. While you’re with the doctor you could also have your basic metabolism checked.
As I said this is just a guess on my part based on a fraction of knowledge I have. I hope it helps
I had a long distance relationship for a 3 month,and i was sure that he was the one somehow,,we use to fight alot and i think that's because of the distance but we got along just fine,,we decided to keep it simple till we meet and so we did,it wasn't simple at all we didn't talk for almost 5 month and now im here in his country,,and yesterday when i was with my friends and we were in the car touring i saw him by a glimpse of an eye and he saw me as well,i was shocked and he was too,so anyway he texts me like "plz tell me that wasn't you" i was angry at him in some point but when i saw him it changed everything,,he wanted to meet and i agreed, it went amazinggg,he took me to this big garden we drank beer and talked till morning ,it was magical ..
The thing is im 25 and he's 21 a huge age difference not that it matters,but he still young and gonna change in a period of time he has alot to experience and of course the trust issues which i have ,,i have a package full of betrayal and disappointment and failed marriage .He knows my past and knows my trust issues and said let me win your trust ..
so what should i do,i had this feeling inside me that he may playin cz lets face it he still 21 but i don't know, should i give it a try??
It is not for me or any of us to say yes or no to your question. Only you can decide that. If this 4 year age difference is something that really bothers you, it shouldn't. If the age difference was the other way around it would be considered normal.
Now back when my parents were your age and your were to marry someone 4 or 5 years younger than you people would talk. By the way I'm old enough to be your grandfather. My in-laws had a 5 year age difference between them with my father in-law being the younger of the two. Their marriage lasted until my mother in-law past away.
Frankly age is but a number in this case a reference point in time. The trust issues are something else. Having a failed marriage does bring out trust issues though we are not all alike. He is not your ex and nothing says he will fail you as your ex did.
You need to decide if you want to take a leap of faith and give him a bit of trust to start with. Then let him earn the rest. There has to be some trust between you or the relationship will never go anyplace. Depending how fresh your divorce is will depend on whether you can make that leap of faith. If you can't that is not a problem it just means you need some more time to heal. It doesn't mean this man is wrong for you. IF you explain this to him he might understand and be willing to wait with you while you heal enough to make that leap of faith.
Hello,
I wanna ask how can I move with my family to live in America,I have readed that many agency ask first money from the peoples and on the end they don't finish their jobs...my situacion in this country it's very hard,(I know that no where is perfect yes) but I wish I can try everything to start from 0..No matter how much hard it will be I just need to move from here..The salary it's only 200 euro for month and to live life here no one can imagine it..Please if someone's know some web sites to recommended to me and to try to move from here..I will be always gratefull...
*Sad macedonian lady *
I would suggest you contact the American Embassy in your country and ask them this question. In order to enter the United States legally you have to immigrate. To do so requires you winter with all the proper visas and you have gone through the process as required for your country which would probably include getting on any waiting list for immigration, if there is one.
If there are any agencies that can help speed the process for you the Embassy will advise you on that. Most likely what you need is a good immigration lawyer to help correctly complete all the paperwork required before your application for immigration will be accepted.
I'm female, only fifteen, but sometimes I catch myself wanting a child of my own. Sometimes it's random, like I'm just laying in bed thinking and the thought comes around, and sometimes it's because I see someone with a baby. But either way, I'm freaking out about it in my head and I can also feel it with my body, like an urge or a deep longing. Not for sex, but I can feel in my body the longing for a child that shares my DNA. Is this natural??
Also, it may be because my dad was kind of a crappy father figure, but when I picture myself with a child, it's always just me, no father in the picture or even any thoughts about a daddy. Any ideas on that?? Thank you in advance for your responses!! (:
You’re normal. It is your body playing tricks on your mind with the hormones of puberty. Your body, so to speak, is being programed to fulfill its natural roll which is the making of life. Only the female of species is capable of doing this. This programming plus a desire on your part to someday have children of your on is what is at play here.
You of course know you are too young to have children. That doesn't mean that alone at night in your bed you can't dream about it. I would say that would be natural for you. As for not seeing a father figure in your dreams; I wouldn't put too much stock into what you are seeing in your dreams. Your dreams are a manifestation of your present life. You talk about your dad in the past tense as if he is no longer in your life. This is probably why you do not see a father figure in your dreams.
It does not mean you will not meet a nice young man; marry and have a happy family. Just remember there is no reason that your life has to mimic you parents’ life. Know what you want from life, what you want in a husband and don't settle for anything less.
Remember something else as well. Good relationships start well above the waist with communication, not sex. Talk first and find out who the other person is you compatible in your likes and dislikes. Are your goals in life the same? Then talk about sex and find out if you are compatible there as well in you likes and dislikes. You do this before you enter into a sexual relationship so you know you can talk to each other and work problems out before you commit to a loving relationship and sex.
I know you didn't ask that question but if you want a good father figure for your children this is how you go about choosing a life mate.
Hi, I'm in 11th grade, I have a lot going on lately. For starters I have two more years and I have no clue what I want to go to college for, or if I even want to go to college. I have a lot of pressure on me from everybody and it's really getting to me. I currently I have a 4.3 GPA which every one says is good, but I feel like it's not enough. All my life I've tried to make my dad proud, but no matter what I do I feel like he's never proud of me. Everything that I've thought of going to school for he said it would be a let down due to my high grades. Everything I've ever done is to make him proud, but I feel like giving up its a lot of pressure on me and for what? Any advice would be great thanks guys. There's a lot more but character limit.
Wow, I could have written this letter, at least the parts about trying to make my father proud of me and what to do after High School. It took a long time and two full Colonels in the Air Force who mentored me to make realize that I am the only person I have to satisfy and make proud.
As I learned later in life the problem between me and my father started long before I was born. Unknowingly it was the reason why I tried so desperately to please him and make him proud. I have no idea why you are trying so hard to please your dad though a 4.3 GPA is something to be very proud of. If your dad can't take pride in this accomplishment of yours the problem is all his and not yours.
My advice is not to do as I did and you are doing which is to work to please your dad. It is not going to happen. It is time to take stock of what you want from life. What is going to make you happy? Do you want to be a Doctor or a Lawyer then that is what you go after. If you want to be someone that digs ditches then that is what you go after. You have to do what is going to make you happy. Just make sure that whatever you decide is going to make you happy in life that you do so to the best of your ability.
After meeting and being mentored by these two Colonels I adopted a motto. "The only person I have to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today." What this means to me is; if I can learn something new and grow a little each and every day then I am a better person today then I was yesterday. I believe this is all anyone can ask of us or we can ask of ourselves.
Don't give up; if you are unsure of what direction to take, what courses to take to prepare for a course of study in college. Speak with your guidance counselor at school. Their job is to help you make the right choices and they even have some test you can take to help you make those choices.
Stop trying to please your dad, it’s a lost cause if he is anything like my dad was, and start trying to please yourself. You will be a lot happier if you do and you will find the direction you are looking for.
I'm a 14 year old girl and occasionally I will get a red circle on my thigh. It's about 3-4 inches in diameter and it's right above my knee. It can happen on either leg and on any part of the front of my thigh though like I said, it's usually directly above my knee. It's not a bump or a zit type thing with a center, it's just a circle and it doesn't hurt it itch or bother me at all, it's just there. It's only there for a day or two and then it's gone and stays away for a few weeks. Should I see a doctor or does this just happen and it's normal?
I do agree with sizzlinmandolin is that since this thing comes and goes that you take a picture of it so the doctor can see it? Where my advice is going to differ is the next time this thing shows up and you have a picture either schedule an immediate doctor’s appointment or go to a walk-in clinic so that a doctor can see it and take a scrapping for lab testing. Don't worry the scrapping is painless.
You also want to be aware of what you did, ate, clothing you wore in the days just prior to this thing showing up. Also important is where in you menstrual cycle you are. Some of these things can be traced to something as simple as ovulation and are harmless as it is just a reaction to hormones. Not being a doctor I can't say.
What I would suggest is starting today until the next time this thing shows up you keep a daily diary of your activities, what you eat, what you wear, and how those clothes were cleaned. Were they washed or where the dry cleaned. As to the food you eat you have to list everything that goes into your mouth. This includes if you give your boyfriend BJ's. It is possible you are allergic to his sperm many women are allergic to their BF's or husband’s sperm and is a cause of infertility in women.
Yes I understand this is not something you want to share with mom and you don't have to. You can use a code for this. As a 14 year old and since this may have something to do with the reproductive system. You have medical confidentiality under a Federal Law called HIPPA.
Under this law you can see, speak and be examined by a doctor for anything related to your reproductive system without parental permission or knowledge. This means mom cannot be in the exam room with you while the doctor examines you.
Congress passed this law for just such reasons so that teenagers would seek medical advice for problems with their reproductive health. The doctor by law cannot discuss any visit which all or part of it has to do with reproductive health. A teenage girl over 14 can be pregnant and a doctor can't tell her parents without her expressed written permission. Even then her parents have no say in what she does. She cannot be forced to have and abortion or to keep the child. Only she can make these decisions under this law.
So after this thing shows up again and you have a picture of it; go see your doctor right away. Tell a staff member or the nurse you would like this visit to be under the rules and guidelines of HIPPA. They will take it from there and tell you mom she must wait in the waiting room.
I am married for 22 years but my mental health declined and i went voluntary to a mental health unit the day i went in there my wife stopped talking to me and sent abusive texts to goad me in to killing myself i was in there for. 4 months and my wife who i adore has refused to have me back or even talk to me we have two daughters together and whilst i was in the unit she told our eldest daughter to leave which made OUR daughter homeless which i never understand how she could do this thankfully my daughter has now goto somewhere to live . The thing i struggle most with is that i am still so in love with my wife and don't want to live anymore i know that is selfish because of my daughters but i can't help the way i feel i just don't understand how my wife has turned so against me whilst together i THOUGHT we was happy doing things that family normally do holidays celebrations and so on i just don't get it
I don't have an answer for your question other than suicide is not the answer; never is. What I would suggest is you discuss this problem with your psychiatrist or psychologist to see if together you can put this problem in its proper place.
I can only guess at why your wife is this way. My best guess is she just does not know how to handle the fact that you have had a mental illness or mental breakdown. For many people unless they have experienced a mental health problem they have no idea of what it is like, how debilitating it can be. Worse some even think the person with the illness may be faking.
For whatever her reasons you wife chose to ignore your illness rather than to be supportive of you. I have no idea why she chose to make your oldest daughter to leave. Was this daughter a planned child or accidental conception? If she was an accidental conception was she the reason you and your wife married?
If the answer to those two questions is yes then it just maybe that your wife has harbored bad feelings all these years. For me the answer to those questions is yes and no for my parents. I was not a planned child and my arrival caused a major upset in my father’s life plan. Because of that I suffered for many years and when I finally gave in to my suffering my clinical depression traced right back to him and my early years.
This may or may not be the case with your wife. If the answers to the questions I posed are yes then it is also possible that you illness can be traced to this as well. It would be interesting to discuss this with your therapist if you have not explored this area.
In any case suicide is not the answer and it will not bring your wife back to you. Right now I'm sure your oldest daughter needs you most of all as well as your youngest daughter. As for your wife; this is something you need to discuss with your therapist. If you cannot get your wife to join you in therapy to work through whatever her problem is then it might be best to separate.
if is possible for me to get pregnant after i use trigestrel pill family planning more than seven years?and how long it will take for me to be pregnant after i stop it ?
This is really a question that should be posed to your GYN. When taking any medication you have the right to discuss with your doctor the long term effects of the medication as well as the short term side effects. This includes antibiotics and all other medications a doctor might want to prescribe. None of us are doctors so we cannot give you medical advice on this question.
That being said many women take many different types of contraceptive medications and become pregnant after stopping the medication. How long it will take a woman to become pregnant after stopping the medication varies from women to woman as her body rids itself of the medication and returns to normal fertility
Personal knowledge on this matter with my wife it took her three cycles after stopping her medication before she conceived our son. It may be the same or different for you.
My best advice on this is to discuss this with you GYN who knows you best and can best advice you based on that knowledge and the knowledge of the medication.
I have no job or car and it costs 15 dollars one way to go into the nearest town. Which means if it would cost 600$ a month to go to work. I'm trying to save up to move into the city so I can go to work without spending most of my paycheck. What can I do?
I understand your question; you have a dilemma in that it could cost you most of one paycheck or more just to get to work. Without more information such as what type of work you are capable of thus what your earnings potential may be. It is hard to offer any concrete advice.
Best advice based on what you have written is to try for a government job as many come with a transportation allowance for using public transportation. This is based on where I live and the federal government and how local government mimics the federal government.
First of all, if you get offended when someone doesn't believe in god just stop reading now, not because I'll bash your religion (I would never do that) but because I don't want to press my religion onto you. I'm only a 14 year old girl, so I know that a lot of you will tell me that I'm too old to pick my religion and that I should just do what I'm told, right? Please just hear me out. It could be due to the fact that God was never pressed on me because I only went to church long enough to get first holy communion or it could be due to the fact that I'm creative and like to test the boundaries and question things, but I don't believe in God or religion. I'm bisexual and I've only told a few people because my parents would say I'm going to hell (they're very, very catholic) and I really don't find it logical that there's an invisible man in the sky who created the world and will send you to the fiery underworld if you break his rules but that he loves you. I want to be a scientist, and science and religion clash no matter what way you put it, and there's just so much more evidence contributing to the Big Bang and natural selection and things like that. And it sounds to me like the bible was written by a bunch of homophobic, violent, sexist, sexually frustrated men. I just don't believe it, but I would be shunned if I ever said anything bad about god so I can't tell my parents. I worry about what happens after death though. I kinda believe that there might be some sort of god, but not a magical person, just somewhere we go after death. Do I sound like I'll stay atheist or don you think that this is just a phase? Am I making the right choice for when I'm older and my religion might matter as far as my family life goes?
I would like to talk about you being bisexual before we talk about you being an atheist. I will say this I find nothing wrong with how you feel about god and religion. Personally I do not believe in organized religion though I do believe in god. This makes me an agnostic.
For someone your age, and I'm old enough to be your grandfather, I do not like putting labels on sexuality. It is quite normal for someone your age, boy or girl, to experiment sexually with someone of the same sex. The biggest reason for this is it is safer. Parents never question two children of the same sex being in a room together alone or having a sleep over.
This does not mean you are gay, lesbian or bisexual. By putting a label on yourself at this age you are actually endangering yourself as many of your peers will not understand even though they two may be experimenting with people of the same sex. Most if not all of us have done so in our life time.
I know some girls in college you would have sworn were lesbians for you rarely if ever saw them with a man. Fact is they were taking the easiest and safest way to sexual relief there was. Since male population outnumbered the female population sexual relief for many women was either through lesbian sex or masturbation.
Today most of those women who turns to lesbian or bisexuality for sexual relief will not admit to it. Why mostly because being bisexual at that time has a big stigma attached to it that is not attached to adults today.
For right now I ask you not label yourself sexually. That for now you just enjoy learning about who you are sexually and your sexuality. Then later when you are say 18 and an adult if you feel you need to put a label on yourself go ahead.
As for being an Atheist. As I said to begin with; there is nothing wrong with what you believe. Your parents have their religion and now that you have moved into the young adult years you have questions about religion and probably other things.
Are you being rebellious by renouncing your parents’ religion? Probably not though when your parent find out they will be hurt maybe even angry. I'm sorry if they feel that way for this is the time, your teenage years, that you should be questioning things and we should be encouraging you to do so. Instead both in school and at home we are trying to stifle this type of thinking and turn our teenagers into automatons.
Your teenage years are the years you mold yourself as to who you will be as an adult. While I do not wish to go against your parents’ wishes for you. I will suggest that you continue to question that which you do not understand or believe. It is hard to believe in things you cannot see, feel or taste this is called faith be it religious faith or any other type of faith. Sometimes in doing things we make leaps of faith for we have no other reasons for doing so. When we do we sometimes make great discoveries and other times we fail. What is important is we tried.
As long as you don't try to convince others that you are right and they are wrong based strictly on faith, meaning not having factual evidence. This is what you said when you wrote “I don’t want to press my religion onto you." Then I can support you 100% and I encourage you to continue questioning what you don't agree with.
As to your final question: Your mind will change on many things as you continue to question and search for answers. Maybe you will and maybe you won't change your mind as far as religion goes. One thing is for sure you will have fun and a lot of interesting adventures as you seek answers to your questions.
19/m
So I recently started college, everyone told me it would be a great time of my life and I would meet a bunch of new people.
So I have always struggled with making friends, and keeping friends, and I am very shy and never know what to say to people.
When I got to college I didn't really meet anyone here. I have met a total of 6 people that I talk to on a daily basis.
4 of them being students that live in my dorm
1 being my RA
1 being my roommate
I would like to meet more people, guys and girls (especially girls, what guy doesn't want that?) but I never know how to approach a group of guys or girls and I never know how to make small talk with them to get a conversation going. I noticed in high school most of the time I made new friends it was by accident or just luck that I met them. I never have gone out of my way to make new friends.
I would love any advice on meeting new people and getting to know them. Especially for girls lol I would love to meet new girls. But any advice will be appreciated as I want to get more social and be more out there.
thank you
This is a question I see quite often so you are not alone with this problem. As we get older are inhibitions get in the way and we find making friends harder to do. One of the best ways around this that I have found and offered to many others is to find places and activities where you and others have a common interest. When there is a common interest conversation becomes more natural and easier.
It is much easier to walk up to a group of people who may be discussing say travel and maybe they are planning to put together a trip to say Rome. Well maybe you have been to Rome. Whether you would be going on the trip with them or not having been to Rome you would have knowledge that would be very useful to them and they would welcome you into their group. From this friendships start. Now this was just an example.
What I would like you to try is this. Sit down with pen and paper and make a list of all the things you like to do both in school and out; both on campus and off. Trust me I have made this recommendation to others and they write back it works.
Include everything you like to do. Include church activities if it applies, camping, fishing, reading, hiking, cooking, photography, nature walks, sports playing and anything else you can think of. Then number them 1 to whatever.
Now take the top five and look to see if there are not any groups or activities going on specific to these activities and go to their meetings. I'm positive you will find one or more that will welcome you with open arms. You would be surprised to find that both boys and girls like to take part in many of the activities you do. You start by listening to conversations and adding your own interest or knowledge to the conversation.
Before you know it you having coffee with someone after the meeting and then you are dating. One other thing; many college professors and teachers support having study groups for their classes. These groups are a good learning tool and another way of making friends. You can either join a group or start one of your own
F/18 ive been nervous about letting my boyfriend ...go down on me... Because im afraid he might think it looks ugly down ther (i think its ugly!) Or im afraid it might smell bad or taste bad for him ...do guys like going down on girls? And what should i do considering the hair...? Shave...? Wax...? Or dont guys mind? Im so scared he thinks its gross...
First like most guys your boyfriend is not interested in what your vagina looks like. His interests primarily are what you will allow him to do with your vagina.
Will you allow him to finger you? Will you allow him to give you oral sex? If you do then then your scent is all part of what he is after in performing oral sex on you. Your scent has the pheromones that excite him and prepare him for intercourse. As for smelling bad your scent is a natural scent, if your bathe daily you will have a musky scent that will be a turn on to him.
Now as for your hair; each guy has their own preference. If you and your BF have not had sex or oral sex yet I would suggest you stay natural and let him see and taste you as you are. Afterwards you can ask him or you can wait to see if he asks you to shave.
Personally I like a girl with hair. I understand during the summer they do not want their pubic hair sticking out from their bathing suit. That does not mean they must shave themselves bare. They can trim to fit inside the swim suit.
You are 18 an adult and you are now entitled to a sex life, although your parents will tell you different. As a parent I believe once you become an adult you are entitled to all the privileges of an adult but need to be responsible about them. You are old enough now that even though you may still be on your parents’ health insurance they no longer have a right to know anything about you medical records or doctors’ visits. In fact legally they cannot even make a doctor’s appointment for you.
This means if you want to have a sex life you can have birth control medication, which is the responsible thing to do. Plus you always make the boy use a condom. But most important is that sex is a learned activity and in order to learn it you must communicate with your partner.
Before you find a life mate and marry you may have more than one sex partner. When it comes to pubic hair those partners may each have different preferences? You need to talk to each other in order to have a successful relationship and this includes sex which would include a hairy or naked vagina.
hey how many tampons can you have in at once?
Typically you would use one at a time.