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Meeting girls at college
19/m
Hey guys! I just started college 3 weeks ago! I am excited to be here and to learn but I also want to become more social with girls. I am a very shy guy, I have a hard time making new friends even with other guys. I never know what to talk about with people and never know how to get a small conversation going with people unless it is by accident. All of my old friends from high school I made were kind of on accident believe it or not. To me it seems like pure luck I met people I got along with and connected with.
I dated some girls in high school but i kind of met them by luck and didn't really go out of my way to introduce myself to them and make small talk to get their phone numbers or anything special. It kind of happened by luck if that makes sense?
Anyways, I was hoping to get some advice from people on how I can approach some girls that are in classes of mine, girls that I haven't had classes with that I just kind of see that I think are cute that I would like to talk to. I met this one guy here at my school that picks up girls daily like no one's business... it makes me jealous of how easy he can get girls and I would love to just meet girls even as friends.
Any advice would be helpful! Hopefully this little rant made sense haha. Thanks!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Well go up to them and ask for their names and Intrests
If for some reason they try to cut it shirt they arnt interested
And I suggest you try someone eles I know for a fact girls love
Compliments so mabye try that to, if she is bitchy then it's
Not worth it FYI
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Adviceman has a good plan, I'd say go with that. The best place to meet girls is in a group of people meeting over a same interest in common.
So what do you do if outside of such a structured event, you see a girl, know nothing about her and want to start up a conversation?
Walking up out of the blue, introducing yourself and starting small talk to get her phone number is not a very successful way to catch a gals interest so its good your not in the habit of it.
For guys, I found great advice in you tube videos on approaching women, the dos and don't of dating, done by a Stephan Erdman. Here's a link to his page. Start going through his videos. I am also posting a link to the one I think should help you best but there are many good ones.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
This next link is part one of a ten part teaching video set. Good luck!
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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One way is to join or form a study group. Having common interest is the easiest way to start a conversation. In a study group the common interest is whatever the class is and through discussion people get to know one another. This provides a limited way of meeting people. IF you would like to expand on this process try what I've written below. As you will see this is advice I have given before. People have written back that it has worked well for them.
This is a question I see quite often so you are not alone with this problem. As we get older are inhibitions get in the way and we find making friends harder to do. One of the best ways around this that I have found and offered to many others is to find places and activities where you and others have a common interest. When there is a common interest conversation becomes more natural and easier.
It is much easier to walk up to a group of people who may be discussing say travel and maybe they are planning to put together a trip to Rome. Well maybe you have been to Rome. Whether you would be going on the trip with them or not having been to Rome you would have knowledge that would be very useful to them and they would welcome you into their group. From this friendships start. Now this was just an example.
What I would like you to try is this. Sit down with pen and paper and make a list of all the things you like to do both in school and out; both on campus and off. Trust me I have made this recommendation to others and they write back it works.
Include everything you like to do. Include church activities if it applies, camping, fishing, reading, hiking, cooking, photography, nature walks, sports playing and anything else you can think of. Then number them 1 to whatever.
Now take the top five and look to see if there are not any groups or activities going on specific to these activities and go to their meetings. I'm positive you will find one or more that will welcome you with open arms. You would be surprised to find that both boys and girls like to take part in many of the activities you do. You start by listening to conversations and adding your own interest or knowledge to the conversation.
Before you know it you having coffee with someone after the meeting and then you are dating. One other thing many college professors and teachers support having study groups for their classes. These groups are a good learning tool and another way of making friends. You can either join a group or start one of your own
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I'm a sophomore in college, and I can tell you some of the things I would like guys to do or they have done to get to know me.
1.) Sometimes, it's nice to have a guy come right up and say hello. I play pool at my university's rec center, and guys always offer to shoot a game or two with me if I'm playing by myself. That being said, for example: if you see a girl working on an art piece or carrying an instrument, ask her about it. We women love talking about activities or topics that we enjoy.
2.) While sitting next to a girl you might be interested in class, crack a joke or say something witty as you or her sit down. It shows that you WANT to engage in conversation with her. Each day, talk a little more until you feel comfortable, and then maybe ask her if she wants to get a coffee or hang out after class sometime (or even that day). Girls love it, and that way you'll know if she is interested or not.
3.) Confidence is key. Even if you are nervous, appear confident in your words and mannerisms. Also, if a girl does agree to hang out with you one day, don't immediately make plans for next time unless she brings it up. If she is a texter, you can text throughout the week and randomly mention hanging out again. If she isn't much of a technological communicator, wait a few classes and then ask again. Girls don't like a guy who is always readily available, whether we admit it or not. It shows you have a life outside of us.
All this being said, I'm just speaking from personal experiences as a college female! Good luck!
~Holly
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